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lodgerthings · 5 years

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Kifeda’s Breakthrough

Social interactions were far from Kifeda’s forte. It was the attention that made it difficult for him. Talking to people would not be so daunting if he was not constantly analyzing every little change in their expressions. Fear of judgment in their faces is what led to the development of his skill with computers. Making friends over the internet was leagues ahead of face-to-face contact, in his opinion. One could say it started him on the path to eventually joining this task force for his new pride. Soon after, it actually proved to be of even more value than anyone anticipated.

During one sleepless night, Kifeda sat at his desk at home, reflecting on how things were going for him in his new home. Strangely, at the same time, things were both better and worse than he expected. On one hand, he really only went three places: home, next door, and work. Despite his time here, he still hardly knew his own neighborhood. On the other hand, he had a job, a friend (his supervisor and neighbor, but it counted, right?), and...and… Well, he had a job.

Did it really count as progress? Would his sisters be disappointed? At least there was that, in terms of progress. Lately, he proved how much more skillful he was in dodging their persistent calls. Texts and emails, he answered promptly and with well-crafted replies, but he was conveniently busy every time he was asked to FaceTime or even just voice call. On one occasion, he even enlisted Khalfani’s help, asking him to call out from a separate room to make it seem like some important breakthrough was about to happen. After every dodge, though, he felt the threat of one of them showing up unannounced looming over him and getting that much closer to realization. Lying awake and imagining the worst did no good, so Kifeda soon found himself in front of his personal computer again.

Visiting the same sites every time would result in burn out, meaning that tonight he needed to try and discover some new places to occupy his time. There were probably chat rooms or forums for people adapting to life in a new pride, right? One of them could give him some ideas for how to naturally find the courage to branch out. Now that Kifeda had an objective, he got to work searching.

Site to site, he moved. Some had out-dated posts that were not helpful, some had advice for people who were already naturally outgoing, and then he found one that sounded a little...troubling. Curiosity beat out the thought that this would only waste his time and soon he was scrolling through the latest posts. One from a couple days earlier caught his eye.

[[Yeah. Been arrested here too much, so I think moving’s a good idea. I never should have dated a cop’s kid. Now the guy finds any reason to accuse me of a crime. Shitbag. At least I don’t live outside the Pridelands. My cousin sent me this video the other day and I was like wtf?? DM if you wanna see. I’d probably be hunted down if I posted it in the open here.]]

Thought after thought fired through Kifeda’s mind as he folded a fist into his other hand and brought them to his lips. It did not sound like a trap. Sometimes bots used similar tactics to get nosy people to click links by making it seem like they are actually talking to a person, but this did not carry the usual signs of such a scam. Unfolding his hands, he rhythmically tapped the keyboard, still debating his next move. If this was real, and this person really was afraid of the wrong people seeing this video, Kifeda would have to prove he did not pose any threat. That was a nonissue. Over text, he was well-versed in conforming his personality to fit his environment.

No second-guessing. Diving straight in, Kifeda made an account and filled it with every necessary piece of information to make him appear as innocuous as possible. Then he started randomly replying and posting in various parts of the sight to build the character he needed. Contacting the poster only moments after joining the site would be suspicious, so there would need to be a window of time before that happened. After the number of weeks with no results in their investigation, what were a few more days?

***

Khalfani leaned over Kifeda’s station, one hand on the back of Kifeda’s chair to steady himself. The first few times Khalfani did this, it tensed Kifeda’s entire body, leaving him feeling like prey that narrowly escaped with its life. Now, however, he was used to the gesture. Khalfani was no threat. He provided more of a sense of protection.

“How’s it going?” Khalfani asked, his eyes scanning the screen.

Kifeda sighed, nervous energy coursing through his veins.

“I sent the first message a couple hours ago and we’ve been chatting since. I don’t get the sense he’s distrustful of me, though. I think he’s just taking long to cover his bases. I should have the link soon.” Anxious, Kifeda looked up to meet Khalfani’s eyes. “You haven’t said anything to the Princess, yet, right?”

“I’m not any less keen than you are to avoid getting her hopes up. Not that I don’t have faith in you. But if the video doesn’t tell us anything, I’d hate to see the disappointment in her eyes. She’s got enough going on as it is.”

Kifeda’s eyes turned downcast in sympathy. “First her dad. Now her adviser.”

“Rafiki and the King will be fine. Look. You have a message.”

Both men’s eyes glued to the screen while Kifeda typed. As minutes passed, they each drew closer until their faces were side by side and mere inches from the computer. And then it finally happened. Kifeda had a download link for a video taken by a member of the Outlands.

As soon as the video began playing, the rest of the team left their stations and crowded around the two. How could they not after hearing Zira’s voice booming from the speakers despite how low Kifeda’s volume was set?

On a platform in the middle of a dimly lit room, Zira stood above the crowd and orated. The video began mid-sentence.

“...weak they are now? Have you seen the effect our operation has had on them? Their king is locked away in a hospital! Their queen is too distraught to rule! Their failure of a princess is /scraping the barrel/ for ideas to keep the masses distracted from the truth! But we are not so easily swayed. We know what’s really happening. They’re crumbling. Breaking. /Weakening/. Soon enough, it will be time for us to attack again! Don’t miss out on your chance to be apart of their downfall! Join me! Paint yourselves in their blood!”

An excited voice in the crowd shouted, “How did you do it, Zira? How did you get him?”

“Easy,” she answered, her sudden calm weighing on the room, bringing a hush over the crowd. “They are not as clever as they like to think. There are holes in their security. Flaws everywhere. All we had to do was find the right one and just like that we had our hands on their schedule. Then it was just a matter of finding the right people for the job. Our numbers weren’t what they needed to be for our own to pull it off.” Her energy amped up again quickly. “Which is why we need you now! Let it be our own hands that take back the Pridelands!”

The video ended as soon as the crowd roared with cheers.

Everyone stood in stunned silence. Khalfani’s rumbling voice broke it.

“I want every one of you to analyze the faces we can make out in the crowd. Try to find if any of them might have more information out there on the internet. Go!”

Though Khalfani gave the order to move, he was the only one who stayed in place there by Kifeda.

“At least we know for sure now,” Kifeda offered innocently.

“It wasn’t her.”

The words were not what shocked Kifeda, but Khalfani’s certainty. He pointed to a specific time in the video.

“Bring it back there. And lower the volume. Watch.” Kifeda followed through and Khalfani explained while the clip played. “Her face when the question is asked. You’d expect pride, wouldn’t you? Arrogance? She looks angry. If the ambush was her plan, she would want to brag. That’s how Zira is. But she’s not bragging. She’s guessing. This is what she /thinks/ led to the attack. They’re taking credit for someone else’s move.”

Heaving a heavy sigh, Khalfani stepped back and stood tall.

“This is still valuable to us regardless. Zira isn’t confident in her people.” Clapping his hand down on Kifeda’s shoulder, Khalfani shed the tension in him and smiled warmly as he said, “You’ve done a great job. We’re lucky to have you. Let’s get a concise report together and make an appointment with the Princess.”

An appointment with the Princess sounded immensely intimidating, but Kifeda could reflect on that later. Right now, he was swept up in the euphoria of being so genuinely appreciated and having made Khalfani proud. Next time one of his sisters called, he would tell them all about that moment. And the next time he was surfing forums he would seek help for what to do when you realize you have developed a crush on your superior.

#Khalfani #Kifeda #Technically lodgers #Kiara

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roswellroamer · 5 years

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Maramba River Lodge, Zambia to Panda Rest Camp, Pandamatenga, Botswana. 175km. 4/30/19.

Today we awoke to more monkeys. They stole an Italian woman's bread roll then promptly sat on the roof just out of reach almost teasing her as he ate it. Yesterday there was a family that was moving due to the monkeys stealing their stuff but it was mostly food. We packed up while Sean and John visited the falls. They had been too busy the day before trying to source a spare trailer tire and wheel since we noticed the rough journey had broken off the bracket holding it in place under the trailer. No rain again (none since we left South Africa!) and perhaps a touch cooler today. High just into the low 90's. We settled up our room. Again I will comment on the strength of the dollar in this part of the world. For two of us, one dinner, lunches, breakfasts and lots of rounds of drinks and bottles of wine over two days... the grand total equaled $77US. For all those meals and drinks it seems very reasonable. Beers are just over a dollar. We loaded the bakkie when the boys returned and headed out somewhere near 10. We headed back to Livingstone and then backtracked on the M10 until we reached the turn off to aim south to Kazungula, the gateway to Botswana and Southern Africa as they proclaim. However before that turnoff, we passed through the same national park where I was the only one to spot and stop for the giraffes. Today, I was sweeping again and was the only one to spot and stop for a herd of zebras. 🦓 Very cool! Four were gathered around a tree. Just like skittish horses they started galloping away as I approached but got a couple good shots first. The border crossing in Zambia reeked of the same chaos we had experienced coming in. However we did hire a guy ($20) to help guide us through the process. Passport stamp and then ledger signing. Then another stop to get your Zambian paperwork stamped. I thought we were done, but no! We had to then actually pay Zambia to cancel the scam insurance they had made us buy on the way in! $50 to buy it and it was supposed to be for a month. Then 3 days later they demand $20 to cancel it. You can't get your exit paperwork stamped without it. Some sort of local tax was also required, about $5/bike. They sure know how to make it difficult and expensive to cross their borders. Plus we learned from our host that they also charge 15% VAT whereas across the river in Zimbabwe they do not, creating an imbalance that tourists are starting to take advantage of to the detriment of Zambian tourist businesses. Anyway, the whole hour or so we were mostly waiting around our bikes in the dirt amidst countless trucks that are waiting much longer, we were hounded by some guys selling bracelets, carvings, money exchangers, etc. Generally very nice but persistent and don't really take no for an answer. We then laid something like $20 for the ferry which is something like a rickety barge to cross the Zambezi into Botswana. 🇧🇼In 2007 they started a massive bridge and roadway project. Instead of 1920's tech to cross the river they are building a proper bridge between the two countries. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazungula_Bridge Expected completion is next year and it looks like they may meet that expectation. Finally our "guide" motioned is to proceed down to the water's edge. We were about to crops the mighty Zambezi for the last time on this African adventure. The ferry was on the way from the Botswana side and it looks like a very basic flattened out barge with some hydraulic lifts to adjust the entry/exit ramps on either end. We quickly embarked and one of the locals told me he was shuttling back and forth to try to get some of his trucks through the border crossing. I can't imagine dealing with that on a regular basis.

Once across the river we rode under the partially constructed bridge and through a shallow pool of cleansing water so as not to bring bugs/dirt with possible infections into Botswana. The whole feel was different. No money traders or guys selling stuff. An actual computer or two was spotted inside! Though, after a couple of us passed through it quit and the rest were processed with manual paperwork. Still it was only passport control, one ledger and then paying of 165 Pula (about $15) by credit card and then we were done. Well nearly. We all did need to walk on a wet mat to clean our shoes as we had done to the tires. Then a guard took our stamped paper and off we were heading, southward into the animal rich country of Botswana. Apparently there used to be hunting allowed but due to some abuse, all hunting was prohibited here for a long time. Poachers are shot. I've been told there are more elephants here than anywhere else. It didn't take us long to find some. After getting gas in Kasane and some hydration 😓 we spotted a herd of elephants while traveling south on the A33. Two youngsters were quickly hustled off into the brush before I could stop and get my phone ready. 🐘 But a few others remained on both sides of the road and flapped their ears for us. Got a few shots, then we warily proceeded to pass between the graceful pachyderms. 🏍 We passed a few herd of zebras but the volume of our approaching bikes made them all scatter before we could get anywhere close. Glad I spotted some others earlier today. Another 100k and we arrived at the well marked Panda Rest Camp. I hear there are lions around since when there are zebras and bucks (we saw a large herd of them which scattered quickly upon our approach) there be lions. 🦁 I feel a slow start to seeing game has accelerated nicely. I would be just fine not to encounter a lion while basically defenseless on my bike. There is no real plan to deal with a lion encounter. I've been told whatever I do, don't run. It is silly to expect to see game animals on the bikes since we are so loud and traveling on major or at least well traveled roads. But since we've seen giraffes, baboons, bucks, zebras, warthogs, kudus, tons of birds and now elephants just along the road we aren't doing too badly. We found our lodging, once again a series of thatch roofed bungalows and unloaded our bags. The SA guys had 140 liter duffels made for the trip embroidered with our names. I needed just about every last liter in which to cram my two bags each day but what a nice convenience it to have to lug your own gear on the bike. I promptly found and utilized the swimming pool. As per usual in my riding shirt, neck bandana, underwear and cap. All soaking in the pool and all the pools here have been nice and chilly. Greatly appreciated after a sweaty, hot ride. We gathered for some refreshments by the pool and placed our dinner orders. I got a pepperoni pizza and a 🥗. First one since I arrived and it was good. In fact a few folks stopped by this test camp and picked up pizzas to go. No Domino's around here. 🍕Went to the bungalow to burn the mosquito coil. Sort of like a flat spiral shaped incense that dissuades and possibly kills mosquitoes. No mosquito netting over the beds here (first time in maybe 4 or 5 days) so trying to make the inside of the bungalow a bit safer from them. I'm once again alone out here as all have been to bed for at least 40 minutes or so. A bit embarrassed to say it is still only 10:30 but we went hard last night and I'm ready to get a good nights sleep. 😴Baz' word of the day is slapgat. Pronounced slap-chat with a guttural German ch, as in achtung. It means someone who is useless and also a lazy slob.

#motoadventure #botswana #skullsinthedesert #africatwin #africatwinadventures

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randomwoohoo · 6 years

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At least I will have time for studying or other stuffs after this

- .... . / . -. -.. / --- ..-. / ... . .- ... --- -. / --- -. .

Finnick: Previously on Zoomorphia, our bunny fox cops eventually beat the silver wolf.

Bolt: Yeah, once! But you know what? I can’t even be mad at them cuz after all this time, Officer bun bun finally became aware of her feelings for the Wilde fox! Too bad, I still had to get my job done. My crew and I used Savages to lure them into a blind alley. After knocking Hybrid out, I took Officer Hopps and the cheetah officer as hostages. Since we could not locate Officer Wilde back then, I gave him like 8 hours to hand over his driver in exchange for the hostages.

Finnick: It looks like you covered everything… What’s the point of me being here and doing this recap sequence again?

Bolt: Speaking of the last chapter, where were you? Shouldn’t you be there with other minor extras?

Finnick: I was there, in Mr. Big’s house. In fact, I was the one who helped Slick Nick lose some weight. And I’m not extra! I have dialogues, y’know?

Bolt: But you didn’t get mentioned in previous chap at all! Maybe you were overlooked because of your short height. Hahaha

Finnick: Excuse you…

Bolt: Oh… sorry...I mean you’re not short, you’re fun sized. Hahahaha

Finnick: How’s that better?

Bolt: It’s not?

Finnick: I’ll bite your face off!

Bolt: Uh-oh, gotta go. Enjoy chapter 18~

Fanfiction.net

.-.. . - .----. ... / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- .

Sunset’s rays shone through windows of one warehouse where Judy and Clawhauser were held captive against their will with their paws tied behind their backs. Because of their ankles tied with rope, they could not move freely, which implied that escaping was out of the question.

By the time Judy woke up, she had already in this unpleasant situation with her feline friend, surrounded by a hog Savage and a hippopotamus Savage in addition to three purple beasts she as Hybrid fought against earlier to being knocked out.

Besides, the two officers were being watched by the tundra wolf in a groovy black leather jacket, Bolt, who was sitting on one of the stacks of wooden crates.

“What on earth do you want!?” Clawhauser wriggled on the floor, yet the rope was not loosened one bit.

Due to not being present at Mr. Big’s front yard when Bolt attacked, he had no clue what the wolf was after.

Bolt did not answer since he was not paying much attention to him as he, looking at Judy’s transformation belt that was still on her since he could not remove it from her without wearer’s consent as a result of the device’s system, was thinking back…

After Mittens the black and white wildcat fixed Bolt’s part which was damaged by Hybrid’s sword, a professor who is a black sloth boar bear held an urgent meeting in their motorhome.

“We must take MidniDrivers away from those two no matter what.” Professor stated clearly at a table where he, Bolt, Mittens and Rhino the tan lemming gathered.

“The sooner the better” The wildcat added.

A light bulb went off in Bolt’s head. “I can accelerate and steal them-”

“Do you know where bunny fox cops keep their morphers?” She interjected the question, shooting down his idea.

“But if there are any Savages terrorizing the city, those two will show up with their drivers for sure!” Rhino said, sitting on the table, so he could see others.

“Still, we have zero clue when the next Savages’ attack will be. There’s too much uncertainty.” Professor puzzled over the problem “except… we arrange the next attack.” before he came up with the idea.

As a result, Bolt and his gang produced a plan for luring Nick and Judy out with controllable Savages in order that they can steal MidniDrivers from them before the drivers start-

All of a sudden, Bolt jerked, shaking the stack of crates under him. Judy and Clawhauser were accordingly startled by him.

“Oh Shiitake… I forgot to tell him which warehouse...” He had just realized he only told Nick to bring his morpher to him at this warehouse district but he did not specify which warehouse. This realization interrupted him looking back.

Fortunately, he did not have to be worried about that problem because Nick Wilde the red fox appeared at the warehouse’s gate in his favorite light green Hawaiian shirt and dark indigo necktie.

“I thought for a moment that we may have to check every single warehouse to find the right one.” Finnick the fennec fox complained from the driver’s seat in his van.

“Thanks for the ride” Nick, seeming solemn, thanked Finnick for dropping him off in front of the warehouse.

“Are you sure about this?” The squat sandy-furred fennec fox asked.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Nick replied with determined eyes.

Finnick put on his shades, “Ciao” then drove off.

“Nick!” Judy shouted her partner’s name.

“Wow, it took you 5 hours and 2 minutes~” Bolt pretended to look at his watch on his left wrist although he did not have any real watches on him at the time. “I hope you are clever enough to make a right decision~”

“Lately, I’ve wondered...” Nick started a speech.

“Why should I care? It’s not like this city is worth risking my life for anyway.” He walked slowly into the warehouse.

“I used to be discriminated, mistreated, called names, et cetera to the point of giving up trying to be something else aside from a shifty fox. But then, the naive little bun bun stepped into my life... She was so naive that she fell for my scam easily, so naive that she believes rabbits can be a cop… believes… an untrustworthy fox can be a cop too…” He lowered his voice at the end, yet his words echoed, so others did hear him.

Nick continued. “Despite being looked down, she kept trying and achieved the impossible in the end… The first rabbit police officer, the amazing cop… I’ve been thinking… She may not be naive after all… She’s confident and hopeful. Because she is a trier… true fighter, she will try… always persist in trying to make the world a better place.”

He then smiled tiredly. “If I give up again here, she won’t likely to forgive me.”

Following that, Nick brought out the arm-sized black device, MidniDriver. Bolt therefore hopped off the stack to get on his feet in order to receive Nick’s transformation gear. However, it turned out that Nick put his morpher on his waist.

“So, that’s your decision huh?” Bolt sighed, rolling up his jacket right sleeve before brushing fur on under forearm to avoid getting a zipper on his arm stuck on fur.

After unzipping his arm, “Switch on” Bolt, uttering calmly, pulled a lever which is a part of a mechanical arm underneath fake skin.

The very next thing happened was that electric sparks ran around the tundra wolf before one quick flash of his white fur. Shortly afterwards, Bolt successfully switched into his silver chrome form.

“Carrots!” Nick shouted to Judy while she was gazing at him in worry for him.

“Thank you, for everything!” He expressed his gratitude to her. “I’ll save you… whatever it costs.” He made a promise.

Subsequently, “I love you, Judy.” Nick pulled the syringe of his morpher, then pushed it promptly.

“RELOAD” His MidniDriver spoke.

“Nick! Wait! D-..on..t...” Judy passed out.

“Judy!” Clawhauser moved with difficulty towards the unconscious bunny.

Nick held the handle sticking out the right side of his black device before “Transform” he said and twisted the handle. “IGNITE”

Next, Nick’s MidniDriver released purple steam which unsettled all of the five purple monsters and then caused boiling mist explosion swallowing the red fox whole.

After the thick mist faded away, two emerald headlamps at Nick’s eye level and purple device core shining up, the armored mammal was revealed.

Nonetheless, this armored mammal did not appear the same as usual. Normally, Hybrid was a doe rabbit figure with fox features regardless of what forms the duo used.

Despite having the same black device on the waist, the mammal has a tod fox physique with characteristics of a rabbit such as a short snout and a short tail.

Furthermore, this hybrid between a fox and a rabbit is covered with a steel blue full suit head-to-toe bio armor.

The steel blue Hybrid also had a pair of emerald headlamps for eyes, no pattern on muzzle area unlike Hybrid’s other forms, crimson claw marks on the left cheek, a red neckerchief around the neck, a pair of claw gauntlets and, last but not least, digitigrade legs (standing and walking on toes).

“Dang! Intimidating~ A bit too edgy, but still impressive~” Bolt complimented Hybrid’s new form. “Bring it on!” He struck a fighting pose while Mittens was controlling the Savages to be on standby from the motorhome.

Suddenly, Hybrid screamed at the top of the lungs before storming off.

Stunned by the unexpected harsh manner, Bolt froze in place, while Mittens ordered the Savages to stop the blue armored mammal in order that the wolf had some time to get a hold of himself.

Right afterwards, Hybrid charged headlong at the purple wolverine, then grabbed of its neck with the right paw before hurling it upward. After that, the steel blue armored mammal jumped up and thrust the left claw into the wolverine Savage. It consequently met its end in the blink of an eye.

Clawhauser, Bolt and his team, only Mittens and Rhino except the professor, who were watching the incident live from their base were stupefied by the fact that this blue form of Hybrid could finish off one Savage in next to no time.

The feral armored mammal briskly hunted down other purple beasts, leaping over large Savage s like the lion and the hippo. Hybrid then dived towards the caprid and swiftly crashed it against the ground so hard that it died instantaneously.

The next target whom Hybrid mindlessly chose was Clawhauser. When Bolt saw that the armored mammal was running on all four in the direction of the defenseless tied up cheetah officer. He, “Accel!” yelling, grasped the hog monster near at paw violently before throwing it at Hybrid in order to prevent the steel blue animal from injuring normal mammal.

However, the armored mammal dodged the thrown hog Savage and caught it in mid-air, then pinned it down.

Hybrid , screeching at the hog, pushed the silver syringe roughly “ACTIVATE”. Immediately following that, the elbows grew blades. The steel blue armored mammal struck the pinned Savage with the elbows.

Thanks to its fat layer, it took quite some time for Hybrid to defeat this monster. Hence, “Come here!!” Bolt was able to carry the unconscious bunny body and the cheetah to the further spot, away from the wild Hybrid.

The hog monster’s motionless body started to vaporize, indicating its departure from life, still the armored mammal kept cutting its flesh with the elbow blades.

At that moment, Mittens ordered the remaining two Savage s to attack Hybrid. She thought that if the monsters could slow the going out of control mixed-breed down, Bolt would be able to accelerate and make the armored mammal detransform.

When the purple lion came so close to Hybrid, the armored mammal sprang to cling to the lion’s back.

The lion Savage tried to shake Hybrid off but it was useless because in an instant, the right claw of the armored fox with rabbit features stabbed through the lion’s neck.

After effortlessly killing another monster, Hybrid got off it. Since Savages cannot bleed, there was no blood staining on the steel blue suit of armor. However, it did not make this form of Hybrid less disturbing.

“This is what happens when predator’s body is used for becoming Hybrid huh?” Bolt chuckled nervously.

“Bolt! We have one more shot. I gonna send the last Savage to charge at Hybrid. Find an opportunity to change the fox back to normal.” Mittens spoke to him through their private wireless communication system.

The purple hippo then rushed towards the armored mammal but Hybrid bent the body to avoid being hit at exactly proper time.

Soon afterwards, Hybrid pushed the syringe “ACTIVATE” to activate spiked knee pads and hopped up, twisting the body in mid-air, before kneeing the hippo in the top of its head.

Bolt, who intended to go near Hybrid at first, was watching the monster being clawed brutally by the so-called hero…

Bolt then decided “Triple accel!” to launched himself at great speed so that he could catch the armored mammal.

Even so, Hybrid could dodge him with such a remarkable agility. As a result of too high force and speed, Bolt flew farther than he expected, crashing into the stacks of crates.

When he fell on the ground, “Shoot! Hybrid is going after the officers!” Rhino’s voice could be heard from the wireless communication system.

Bolt, already cancelling the acceleration to avoid his system overheating, hurriedly got up before seeing Hybrid standing so close to Clawhauser. The armored mammal was drawing the right claw up.

“Stop it!” Bolt yelled while the speechless cheetah shut his eyes in fear.

--. --- / --- ..- - / --- ..-. / -.-. --- -. - .-. --- .-..

After Nick pulled and pushed his syringe, “Nick! Wait! D-..on..t...” Judy blacked out.

She or just her consciousness was then thrown into an unfamiliar place where she saw an adult fox presenting his business plan for a bank loan. The fox was accompanied by a young red fox.

Judy looked fixedly at the young fox because he appeared familiar to her. She then shifted her focus to the older fox walking away from the loan officer’s desk. Apparently, his proposal got rejected.

Subsequently, she perceived that the young fox held up the stamper along with two small rodent bank employees, preventing them from stamping ‘rejected’ mark on the proposal.

The rodents shrieked, so the rhino security guard came to catch hold of the fox kit. Although he had already let go of the stamper, the guard was still carrying him towards the exit.

“Dad! Dad!” While the kit was calling to his father for help, the adult fox “Sir, I’m truly sorry but please let my son go.” begged the rhinoceros.

“You’re going too far!” Judy went to stop the guard but it turned out that he walked past her as if she was not there because in reality..., she was not there.

After that, the adult fox leapt on the rhino to save his son. As a result, the security guard released the fox kit and arrested his father instead.

Before he went out with the security guard, he spoke to his son. “It’s okay, Nicky. Dad will go home soon. Until then, be a good boy and prove that a fox is trustworthy.”

Next, Judy’s mind jumped to another place. She saw a vixen raising her kit on her own. The vixen even scraped up enough money to buy her son a junior ranger scout’s uniform. The scene reminded Judy of the story Nick told her about his past. That was when Judy realized that she was going through Nick’s memory.

Judy wanted to turn away from the scene of young Nick weeping alone after he was bullied by prey animals in scout uniforms. It was the day Nick gave in to the horrible stereotypes or that was what he said to her.

She found that despite feeling conflicted, Nick occasionally tried to prove that he could be more than a sly fox. Nonetheless, the world was constantly against him. Although he studied hard to earn good grades, some mammals would claim that he cheated.

It was hard for him to apply any honest jobs just because he is a fox.

It was difficult for him to get any loan approvals just because he is a fox.

Therefore, he eventually gave up and became a con artist, a sly fox that the world saw.

Lying, hustling… If those were what mammals expected for foxes, so be it.

Subsequently, Judy reached the memory of the first time Nick met her and tricked her to pay the jumbo pop for him and Finnick. She even perceived his thought.

Back then, Nick saw Judy as a hypocrite since she carried a fox repellent, yet she acted nobly. That upset him to certain extent.

He disliked her more when she pressured him to help her solve the missing otter case. However, after seeing her working hard in the investigation and genuinely caring for the otter, he thought that he might be wrong about her.

“I think you’d actually make a pretty good cop.”

At the time Judy told him that, he just thought she must be joking because nobody would truly believed that a sly fox like him can possibly be a cop.

That was why the moment Judy handed him a police application form meant a lot to him. This mammal really believed in him. She wanted him to be her partner. Even though he did not want to serve society anymore unlike his past self who wanted to join the scouts, he was happy to be wanted and trusted.

And that was why it hurted so much when she betrayed his feelings by showing her bigotry against foxes.

Nick wanted to hate her. Then again, he came to realization that everyone made mistakes, so he decided if she changed, maybe… he could give her a second chance, which he did not regret that decision at all. She grew up, learned her mistake, came back to him and fixed the crisis with him.

He finally found a mammal who trusted him, had faith in him and believed in him while he did not believe that he could be more than that awful stereotype.

Besides, he thought She was so freaking reckless and too naive. How can l leave her alone? , which irritated Judy.

For these reasons, Nick made up his mind to be by her side as her friend and her partner.

The more they spent time together, the stronger Nick’s feelings grew. Hence, He fell in love with her.

Nevertheless, he had to persistently remind himself to forget the idea of being in a relationship with her because he is a fox, an ex-con artist. He believed that he would bring her down… His past could come back to haunt not only him but also Judy as long as they were together romantically.

I’m a fox. The world just sees me as a shifty hustler. This thought echoed in Nick’s head.

After going through his memories and thoughts, Judy, her chest feeling tight, came across a black large free space which was burning with flames here and there.

In the middle was a savage fox on fire.

“Nick!” Judy approached the burning fox.

The flaming wild fox growled at her but she still advanced towards him.

“Nick!” She called to him again.

When she was so close to him, he leapt on her, pinning her to the hot floor and snarling at her face.

Even so, she was not scared. She reached out and pulled him into an embrace.

“I believe in you, Nick.” She patted the back of his neck, “You won’t hurt me like that. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine… together.” tightening the hug despite the fire on him.

“I’m sorry for all this time I didn’t know what you have gone through, how heavy your burdens are, and… how many emotions you bottle up.” She then moved her paws to his face. “But please take off your mask… let me know your true feelings.”

The fires subsequently died out, revealing Nick Wilde with a depressed expression.

“I’m sorry” Nick apologized. “Even though I’m a cop now, even though I got promoted, it seems I can’t ever be good enough...”

“If you’re afraid that you won’t be as good as I hope, don’t worry. I don’t have high expectation in the first place.”

“Ha ha” Nick laughed sarcastically.

“Nick, you’re not just good. You’re fantastic! You’re better than what world thinks of you! Have more faith in yourself, O.K.?” She stroked his cheeks.

“I’ll try.” Nick rose slowly while gentally helping Judy stand up.

“And I’ll be there for you… be by your side, so you’ll be by my side too~” She beamed at him.

“Sly bunny~” He put on a genuine smile before the mental black free space faded away as both he and Judy united.

--. --- / --- ..- - / - --- --. . - .... . .-.

Clawhauser, lying on the floor defenselessly, shut his eyes in fear when steel blue Hybrid drew the right claw up.

“Easy peasy~”

He heard Nick’s voice and felt that the rope around his wrists and ankles became loosened, so he opened his eyes to see the armored mammal, who went totally berserk earlier, standing in a relaxed way.

“Are you hurt?” Judy’s voice came out of the armored fox with rabbit features.

Noticing that the rope had already been cut by the steel blue mixed-breed, Clawhauser got up hurriedly.

“Judy! Nick! You two okay now?” He asked.

“Pretty much~ I just let an autopilot run a bit and it looks like it did a fine job.” Nick jested as he turned Hybrid’s head to look around. There were vaporizing lifeless Savages’ bodies on the floor.

“Sorry for the loss of your pets~” He jokingly apologized to Bolt.

“You can hand over your drivers as an apology.” Bolt joked as a response, stepping off the pile of broken wood pieces.

“I’m afraid we can’t do that.” Judy said, putting Hybrid’s guard up.

“I figured.” Bolt uttered.

“Clawhauser, would you look after my body?” She asked him.

The cheetah picked the unconscious doe’s body up and kept their distance from the silver wolf and the armored mammal.

Once Clawhauser together with Judy’s body were out of a danger zone, “Accel!” Bolt moved near Hybrid like lightning, then “Volt Strike!” swung his glowing knifepaws at his opponent in order to paralyze the united duo.

The steel blue armored fox with rabbit characteristics briskly ducked to avoid the blow easily.

Seeing that his attack failed, Bolt lowered while sweeping one of his legs.

Hybrid could avoid the attack with ease again by springing up. However, that was what Bolt aimed for.

He assumed that it would be difficult to dodge in mid-air, so “Double accel” he straightened up and was about to attack the armored mammal in double-quick time.

Hybrid stuck the right claw at Bolt but he, still accelerating, sidestepped, dodging the sharp claw.

The accelerated silver wolf then thrust his glowing left palm with an intention to strike the armored mammal’s flank.

Unexpectedly, Hybrid agilely bent the body, which caused Bolt to miss his target in a split second.

Directly afterwards, the united duo seized Bolt’s extended arm, then drew Hybrid closer to Bolt and used the momentum to swing the kick which hit him right in the side of the face.

Next, the armored mammal released the hold on the silver wolf while he was falling sideways. He took a step to the side to regain his balance as the steel blue mammal landed on the feet effortlessly.

“Mittens… I’m gonna get serious a bit.” Saying quietly, Bolt stopped accelerating. He did not pay attention to his team’s response and went straight to “Electro blast!” discharge an energy ball from his chest.

As the energy ball was flying towards Hybrid , the united duo twisted MidniDriver’s handle back “CRITICAL BREAK” before crouching, avoiding the attack in the process.

At a later second, the steel blue armored mammal jumped up, flipping towards the silver wolf.

“Acce-” Bolt was about to charge at his opponent.

“Don’t move!” The duo yelled, making the wolf halt without being aware.

Hybrid then rushed down to land a right side kick… on the floor. Bolt stared at his opponent being down on one knee while one foot stayed in contact with the ground at the same spot that the kick landed.

When Hybrid stood up and lifted the right leg, it could be seen that the spot which the armored mammal’s foot hit a moment ago was holed. Bolt also noticed that there were spikes under the toes of Hybrid before those spikes were drawn back.

“You know that if you moved just a little bit faster, you could get kicked right?” Judy put a rhetorical question to Bolt.

After he was silent for a few seconds, “Triple accel” he uttered calmly, then disappeared into thin air.

Clawhauser was going to shout in celebration of the victory but suddenly, Hybrid turned back and stuck the sharp claw out at the silver wolf. It appeared that Bolt accelerated his system to attack his opponent by surprise.

“Wanna continue?” Nick asked.

“Just wanna give it another shot.” Bolt tittered before he vanished.

“Where is he now?” Clawhauser wondered.

“He’s gone now.” Judy answered.

Subsequently, the armored mammal went to Clawhauser, asking him to kneel down, so the rope tying the unconscious body of the doe could be cut. Following that Hybrid removed the rope from Judy, the united duo pulled the syringe, drawing the blood into it, to detransform.

The suit of armor released purple steam before it disappeared. Nick consequently turned back to normal while Judy woke up in Clawhauser’s arms.

“Wakey Wakey princess~” Nick pushed the syringe to inject his blood back to himself in order to cure his tiredness.

Without hesitation, Judy got off Clawhauser’s arms, then approached Nick hurriedly.

“We did it, Carrots~ We won-” No sooner did Nick finish his sentences than Judy punched him right in his gut. Nick collapsed to his knees as a result.

Jaw dropping, the portly cheetah covered his mouth in shock.

Next, she pulled Nick’s tie to draw his attention to her before she ranted.

“Dumb fox! What the heck did you think you were doing, risking yourself like that!? What if everything didn’t turn out fine? What if that transformation made you’ve gone completely berserk and will never recover!? You think that I’m naive, dumb and too reckless to be left alone, don’t you? Then why did you decide to sacrifice anything to defeat that wolf… especially after you confessed to me…?”

Her eyes then started getting watery. “If something horrible happened to you, I...” She shed her tears.

“Sorry… for making you worry...” Nick averted his eyes, feeling guilty.

“You gave me too credit… I almost gave up several times and I did give up once before.” Judy clenched her badge on her chest, remembering the time her badge was nearly taken away during the missing otter investigation.

She remembered the mammal who saved her from losing her dream was none other than Nick.

She remembered that she returned to Zootopia and successfully crack the Night howlers case after giving up because of none other than Nick.

“All this time…, the reason why I can keep trying, fighting and protecting our city, our home, is… I have you, Nick.” She touched his cheek gently, turning his face, so he would look at her.

“I love you.” She stared into his emerald eyes.

“I love you too.” He stared back into her amethyst eyes.

“Aww” Clawhauser exclaimed, moved his paws to his chest.

And then, both Nick and Judy closed the gap between them, hugged each other and shared a kiss. Their lips were pressed against the lips of one another. They felt a warm sweet sensation radiating throughout their bodies as they got lost in time.

.- ..-. ..-. . -.-. - .. --- -. .- - . / -.-. --- -. ..-. . ... ... .. --- -.

At a later time after Bolt lost to the steel blue Hybrid and came back to his team’s base, the motorhome,

“What actually happened? Shouldn’t predators go out of control if they use MidniDriver to transform with their bodies?” Mittens the wildcat wondered, swivelling round in a seat.

Meanwhile, Rhino was busy waving a hand fan for a large mammal like a bear to cool down the tundra wolf, Bolt, who was lying on one of the couch.

“It’s probably because the fox has received quite amount of the rabbit’s blood mixed with his blood.” Professor the sloth bear theorized. “Plus, their synchronization’s possibly increased.”

“If it was the case of what I’m thinking right now…, oh, dear, I’d be seriously worried about the bunny officer.” Professor’s face grew concerned.

- .... . / . -. -.. / --- ..-. / .--. .... .- ... . / --- -. .

- --- / -... . / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- . -.. / .. -. / .--. .... .- ... . / - .-- ---

#zootopia #zoomorphia #zootopia fanfiction #zootopia tokusatsu au #the end #for now

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govtplates · 6 years

Text

Suicide Note

Mirror: paste.ee/p/iClXD

Please rehost on zeronet and substratum when they publish their hosting platform

Early Saturday morning, I killed myself with toxic gas. The last two years of my life have been a slow motion death sentence, and I’ve finally chosen to complete it on my own terms. I started planning this more than a month ago when I first realized that my last chance for survival had failed me. I’m mentally disabled, very ill and I was illegally fired from my last job as a dishwasher because of it six months ago. Since then, I’ve been fighting a discrimination case against the company through the Seattle Office for Civil Rights. A settlement from the result of that became my only chance to escape what’s destroyed my life, but SOCR failed me. It was agonizingly difficult and straining to get an investigator on my case, and then he quit a few weeks after opening it in February. Since then every employee I’ve dealt with from top to bottom has been dishonest and deceitful to me, after realizing that no one in the only organization with the ability to help me had any interest of actually helping me, I lost any hope of getting a new investigator in a time frame that’ll save me. I only got a new investigator last week, and by then it was far too late. If this got started when it should have, it would be wrapped up this month at the very latest.

Then, some days later I go notice that my rent is going up next month, which sealed my fate. For the last year I’ve had to depend on my parents, Ken and Jodi for bills after an unsuccessful job hunt after being laid off. They have abused me my entire life, always mentally and emotionally and sometimes physically. They’re delusional, sadistic, childishly vindictive, dangerously stupid, and terrifyingly negligent. In January they forced me into an agreement that conditioned their continued payment of my bills on me taking pharmaceutical medication from a psychiatrist. This is in virtue of their delusion that my mental illnesses are genetic and innate, not brought up from my environment and what’s done to me. I’ve had all of my DNA sequenced, which disproved any disposition to neural conditions early in life. This agreement wasn’t arrived at through discourse or negotiation, but out of nowhere they exploited my worst fears against me at my most vulnerable moment in order to renege on past agreements and strong arm me into lying about agreeing to their condition. A few psychiatrist meetings and a pharmacy visit later, it was relatively harmless but insanely stressful because of how impulsively aggressive my parents are. So my current fears aren’t precisely that their current condition is unachievable, it doesn’t hurt me to fill my cabinet with wasted pill bottles, despite the wasted money handed to big pharma that could go to help cover my basic needs. But they are absurdly dishonest people, they will never for even a second stay faithful to any agreement or negotiation. They hold the fact that they cover my bills over me to try to leverage me into more and more of their impulsive demands, they talk to me like I’m a pet dog and to this day it’s never stopped even though I’m 20. I’d need the settlement money to cover my life expenses until I could get back on my feet alone, given that relying on my parents is untenable and could be revoke any month now on their whim. They’ve always prospered from their privilege, idolized the rich and loathed the poor which is why they just don’t understand at all the poverty that they forced me into.

In late 2016, I moved back in with them after having to drop out of university and they promised to support me in moving back out to a new college somewhere to do whatever program I wanted. Then within days they did a reversal and said they’d only pay for me to get a Bachelor’s, claiming that it’s necessary for a job which is bullshit since nearly all degrees are useless, connections are all that matter. Then again just days later, another reversal and they said they wouldn’t support me living anywhere doing anything, not even staying at their home, with the cannabis that I needed for medical purposes. They were very clearly freestyling their parenting methods, with zero regard for my wellbeing and the pathetic notion that they could squeeze aspects of me that they disapproved of out with force, and I’ll eventually submit to their every whim after their force me through enough misery and suffering. It was at that point that I was forced out of their place, and living out of a suitcase I couch hopped until landing at this current house in December.

The cannabis has been medicinal since that summer two years ago for PTSD, I had been illegally detained (essentially kidnapped) and psychologically tortured at a mental institution for more than two weeks. I was the victim of multiple felonies committed by government officials and medical professionals, including perjury and malpractice to justify my detainment in what was basically a jail. It was aided and encouraged by my parents, my mom said the first night she had slept well in a while was after hearing that I had gotten locked up. The corporation that owns the Fairfax institution, United Health Services, has been under investigation by multiple federal agencies for years for longterm and widespread national fraud and abuse, scheming insurance to lock people up on false pretenses and abuse them under state sanctioned involuntary detainment. This has been covered by Rosalind Adams extensively in Buzzfeed, and it’s exactly what happened to me. I had excessive hubris and had ordered what I thought was acid from an onion market, it turned out to be 25i-NBOMe which is a very dangerous and toxic synthetic compound. I mistakenly tried some without testing and had a jarring trip, ending with inescapable paranoia and hallucinations that I had copped from a honeypot and the feds would be at my door in the morning, I panicked and thought suicide was my only way out so I chugged some rum and put back a handful of prozac, then promptly puked it all up. Clearly not premeditated and I quickly called 911, telling police everything because I couldn’t hide anything and I realized I needed help. Any young person that takes a FULL serotonin agonist without preparation absolutely needs gentle and attentive care to help them calm down and move on from the trip, because that shit throttles your neuron pathways and fucks with your chemical balances way more easily than most drugs. It is an absolute crime against my humanity that no one would be there to give me that, all it did was make me a perfect target for the UHS involuntary detainment insurance scam, basically farming the vulnerable and mentally ill to harvest money from while being tortured and held in a pseudo jail without any consent or due process. That arguably makes it worse than jail since aside from the massive corruption and inequality at the roots of the criminal justice system, there’s still the intention and supposition of fair and due process. The cops decided not to charge me with possession and I went to the ER while still super drunk and out of it. The staff at the hospital there didn’t wait at all to question me which I’m pretty certain was illegal, if they waited a few hours until I sobered up I would have told them succinctly the foolish mistakes I made and wouldn’t make again, and that I wasn’t in any danger to anyone. Instead the responses they got from me were drunken mumbling and incoherent partial words, which they used to justify me needing to be shipped off to an institution the next day. Once there I petitioned to be released as soon as possible but I was obstructed everywhere and I was diagnosed with “cannabis use disorder,” normally diagnosed with daily smokers for a decade but I had only been for six months, and they intended to treat it through psychological torture and abuse. It was insanely traumatic and I went on a hunger strike the whole time, only eating some very small snacks and drinking more than ten cups of tea a day. I had bought tickets to fly out and protest at the Democratic National Convention for Bernie, but I was locked up over that whole time and couldn’t follow what happened at all. Since I got out I’ve needed cannabis to cope with the PTSD from then. If I lived in a socialist country then these institutions would actually exist to help people and treat them, and I would have gotten help with the judgment issues that led to the drug mishap. Instead these institutions betrayed me and threw my life into a tailspin, all for some company’s profit.

And at the very least my parents should have stood up for me and done anything to help me from the predatory hospitals but they were completely on their side and took pleasure in my suffering. They have never let up this behavior pattern since, kicking me out on the street a few months later and then six months ago they trigged the incident which led to my former employer turning on me. Then in January they tried to have me murdered by bring cops banging down my door because they exaggerated and trumped up the risk that I was violent which was nonsense and something that I went out of my way to try to tell them. It is the police’s job to exterminate the mentally ill, and having someone lie that you’re a violent threat exponentiates the risk of being gunned down. I kept them from coming inside but they made a huge disturbance for more than an hour on a Saturday afternoon. If I wasn’t white, there would be no question they would have broken the door down and executed me. All of this was done under my parent’s greedy impulses and attempts to force me to become subservient, submissive and forget my long history of being abused by them. They should be given no condolences or extended any sympathy, they need to be criminally investigated and prosecuted for driving my life to its end.

After many traumas all at once last spring (being laid off, losing my partner and all of my friends, people encouraging me to kill myself, friendship with my landlord was ruined, returning to dependence on parents), compounded with my PTSD led me to develop more serious cognitive disabilities, what I suspect is brain damage from hypersecretion of glucocorticoids in the limbic system. I lost my ability to function in public, every friend I had lost patience with me and I was completely isolated while being squeezed all around into deeper poverty and despair. I started to improve in the fall and getting the dishwasher job gave me hope, since they promised to quickly promote me to higher kitchen positions and I expected to soon be able to cover rent again, finally becoming independent. But after the incident which is completely covered in my SOCR file, that did a complete 180 and my hope vanished, sending me back into unending despair and misery.

Dear Filippo Fiori: You had been the first person ever in my entire life to make me feel appreciated and valued. I worked my ass off cleaning every corner of that kitchen because you promised to promote and teach me so fast. Then you committed multiple crimes that set my death in motion, and tried to frame me as having always been incompetent to avoid blame which is far beyond unforgivable. Had I seen the investigation through its end, my plan was to demand at least twenty grand or bankrupt your restaurant, whichever came first. That would be the bare minimum punishment you deserve for your initial crimes, but now it’s up to someone else. I hope it was worth it to you, killing someone in the most vulnerable position because they’re mentally disabled. I did everything I could to warn and explain this all to you but you did what you did and here we are, you made the last six months of my short life miserable and agonizing all to defend a full grown middle aged man with only one year of managing experience.

Lawyers Nancy Chupp and Liza Burke both have my blood on their hands too, they both went out of their way to deliberately lie to me, waste my time and cause me serious damage that I wouldn’t even let them pay me to do. Every lawyer I’ve ever dealt with everywhere has been obstructive and malicious, I think it’s beyond vile how prevalent contempt against the most vulnerable and needing of help is.

To law enforcement: My linux machine is fully encrypted with a very long password, and even if you crack that, all that’s left is my book and media collection. I erased and sfill’d anything interesting so good luck trying to recover shit. If you crack my old laptop password, the only interesting things left on there are my unfinished film and media projects, as that’s all I’ve used it for in many years.

I’m not scared of dying because I’ve already met god, and I’ve discovered the deep truths of this existence. The universe is a hologram, at a subatomic level every single point in space contains a portal to the “implicate order,” or the universal consciousness. The explicate order we reside in is manifested by the ebb and flow of this united energy, at a frequency of planck time each electron enfolds and unfolds, perpetuating alternated spin states that present the illusion of movement and time progression we perceive. All of consciousness and our external reality are the same energy waves manifested and concentrated in different forms, the simulation is like a giant 4D film with a frame rate at the 44th degree of magnitude. We think that our external environment and its objects have physical permanence, while our thoughts in our head are imaginary neurochemical processes, but consciousness is a form of matter ultimately inseparable from anything “physical.” When a 30fps video is slowed down frame by frame, that’s sinking down one order in magnitude of playback speed. If we could do that with the linear time we exist in 44 times, we would reach the plane of existence from which everything that’s ever been and ever will be is conjured from.

To quote David Bohm, who pioneered this theory - “At the present, our whole thought process is telling us that we have to keep our attention here. You can’t cross the street, for example, if you don’t. But consciousness is always in the unlimited depth which is beyond space and time, in the subtler levels of the implicate order. Therefore, if you went deeply enough into the actual present, then maybe there’s no difference between this moment and the next. The idea would be that in the death experience you would get into that. Contact with eternity is in the present moment, but it is mediated by thought. It is a matter of attention.” This four-dimensional universe with linear temporality traps our minds from experiencing the full potential that can be harnessed through tapping into the universal energy, but throughout history those boundaries cosmically foisted upon us have been challenged through shamanism, entheogens, and spirituality in general. To quote Michael Talbot’s book Holographic Universe, “we are so thoroughly conditioned to believe that perceiving the future is not possible, our natural precognitive abilities have gone dormant. Like the superhuman strengths individuals display during life-threatening emergencies, they only spill over into our conscious minds during times of crisis – when someone near to us is about to die; when our children or some other loved one is in danger, and so on. That our “sophisticated” understanding of reality is responsible for our inability to both grasp and utilize the true nature of our relationship with time is evident in the fact that primitive cultures nearly always score better on ESP tests than so-called civilized cultures. Further evidence that we have relegated our innate precognitive abilities to the hinterlands of the unconscious can be found in the close association between premonitions and dreams. Studies show that from 60 to 68 percent of all precognitions occur during dreaming. We may have banished our ability to see the future from our conscious minds, but it is still very active in the deeper strata of our psyches.” (209)

Now we think of those in past eras as just stupid and bored from their lack of modern technology, and they only hallucinated and wrote religious tales to replace the forms of innovation valued post-industrialization. I posit this could not be less true, it is the rise and spread of modern education that has taught us to rid ourselves of our innate connection to the implicate order and awareness of the fluidity of reality.

I never really dream, either that or I’m never consciously aware of it. I suspect it’s from always having so many cannabinoids flowing through my brain putting me in too deep sleep to allow my conscious to travel to another reality. If there would have been precognitions in them, maybe it’s also because of my fear of the future and being too occupied with messes in the present to wonder what will come after. Instead I push my conscious to travel outside of this realm through entheogens, which is how I met god during a McKenna heroic dose of fungus. I traveled into a realm completely filled with moving and spiraling fractalized columns of light and waves of energy. I was taken on a tour throughout time and space, traveling between discombobulated and disjointed morphing spatiotemporal environments. Later I realized that I had been taken to the implicated realm from which all of this universe’s particles unfold out of, and some force was spinning me around and through this cosmic soup. I had been researching and studying all of this closely for many months beforehand but when I had everything that I supposed to be accurate about reality through holographic theory absolutely proven and validated just by eating a handful of things that had grown out of the ground in nature in my city, I became 100% certain of the validity in all of this. The amount of unfathomably unpredictable evidence that would be needed to safely and thoroughly disprove holographic theory makes it a practical impossibility, there’s so much otherwise unexplained that is resolved perfectly this way.

This also proves exactly why America has engaged in global psyops since Nixon to plant disinformation at the basis of societies about fabricated dangers of psychedelics and discourage its use through criminalization. The government has never actually been concerned about stopping people from taking drugs since everyone knows that is impossible to accomplish. The CIA has always been a fan of using acid when it can brainwash people and torture prisoners in more sadistic ways, and using cocaine when they can flood the streets of black communities with it, and creating cartels or black market trafficking ops when they achieve geopolitical results desired by the imperialist capitalist hegemony agenda.

Can you imagine what it would do to society if any adult could go to a mushroom dispensary and experience the same kind of reality-shattering and consciousness-expanding experience as I did whenever they wanted? I’ve read a lot of psilocybin trip reports and the majority of them include very similar things to what I experienced. They do not describe these phenomena holographically like I do, but I’m absolutely certain that it’s a universal experience that the same fungi allow anyone to travel to. It’s so tragic to me that most describe these as hallucinations, and the drugs as hallucinogens which of course restrains it as being unreal. But these alternate planes are much more real than our reality, and calling it a trip could not be more accurate as it is essentially traveling towards home, as in the origin of all of us and everything else. One’s consciousness, being energy waves in a different form than whats around it, exists in a spectrum between entirely localized in the brain and expanding radiating outwards to rejoin the cosmic energy. When low/mild doses of entheogens give one visuals that fill, surround and saturate the visual field, it is their consciousness beginning to expand outwards and begin moving towards the other end of the energy spectrum. Taking a large dose is more like god reaching a hand out of the sky and plucking their soul out of their body and tossing it out of this simulation. By god I don’t mean a singular or cohesive entity, but of the powerful forces manifested by the collective universal consciousness. We are subject to the supreme power of supernatural forces, but instead of a higher being it is the energy of all of us, all of us that have ever been and ever will. That’s why I use a lowercase g.

If these kind of spiritual awakenings happened on a massive scale, it would cause unheard of social unrest. Everything that holds up the capitalist order and necessitates global neoliberal capitalism would dissolve, so many people would become entirely different people, giving up hollow norms and starting to question the real purpose and meaning in what this life is. The rising of class consciousness and awareness of the cruelty manifested by capitalism, which only persists when it’s not questioned, will spell its certain demise. Nearly everything all of us are taught about how the world works is falsified and perpetuated by the minimally satisfactory life circumstances capitalism provides for most. When people are fed lies from birth, taught to be satisfied with a substandard life with the false hope that anyone can “succeed” in a free market (which is another fabrication), and discouraged from ever questioning why things are this way, that’s what allows cruelty to persist.

That’s why the most important thing for people to do is just QUESTION. Especially at a time when daring to ever question what our government says gets you immediately smeared as a puppet or useful idiot of some boogeyman. For most of my life I thought, as we’re all raised to, that communists are evil authoritarians and that it’s not something anyone takes seriously. But up until I shed my last trace of liberalism and beyond, I kept questioning everything and being skeptical, which led me on a path eventually ending at becoming a devout communist. Like many others I started being inspired about political change and social justice from Bernie’s campaign. During his speech at Safeco Field my volunteer job was to run up and down the line waiting outside before helping people, and the lines stretched block after block after block after block in every direction. And everyone was excited or cheering, that kind of mass enthusiasm about something so progressive made me genuinely optimistic about a radically improved future. Then I watched all of the rigging, interference and corruption by the democratic party and corporate media. I knew what was happening behind the scenes all along, but the wikileaks podesta emails of course proved it all. It was soon after that that my political involvement and aspirations were demolished when I was kidnapped during the DNC convention. For better or for worse I was not at all tuned into all the fuckery and media nonsense happening around late summer that year since obviously no internet in there. So after that I just kinda gave up on Bernie, started to move on and voted for Jill Stein. If only I had known I’d fallen victim to a disinformation campaign led by Putin to sow discord in the stable and perfectly equal American democracy!

I think I was one of the only people that was not at all surprised and completely indifferent on election night, going into it I knew there was a 50/50 chance and it could go either way dependent on a million unpredictable things. At least it was hilarious seeing the delusional liberal establishment having their hopes and fantasies of a continued neoliberal slow descent into corporate neofeudalism shattered. I honestly thought Trump was gonna get assassinated either before or soon after taking office, largely driven by my throwing up my hands and saying fuck it to any sense of an illusion of social stability. Yet at that point I suppose I didn’t fully understand the size, power and pervasiveness of the elites and the extent of their resources to which they protect their own and maintain control over what tragedies or shocking events are allowed to happen or unfold in different ways.

The very next day was the first time I ever heard the phrase fake news, and I immediately thought it was just something made up out of nowhere by the democrats to avoid blaming themselves for the loss. I was half right, it was a deliberate attempt by the clinton campaign to avert blame and feed into Russiagate, but what I also didn’t fully understand yet then was the pervasiveness of literal actual fake news in the entire news and media establishment. I mean Operation Mockingbird is real history and it never ended, the CIA has always controlled the media and had a hand in making everything pro-America and advantageous for the government’s agenda. Now there’s so many former intelligence directors as news “contributors” or “analysts” it’s never been more obvious. But since Russiagate has been such a successful psyop, liberals have revealed themselves as ultimately only wanting to serve the intelligence community and uphold capitalism. And such a huge portion of ex-intelligence spooks are running as democrats in the midterms this year, it’s absolutely insane! Talk about a slow coup of the supposed “left” in this country.

There is of course no actual leftist representation in the federal government as they’re diametrically opposed to each other. The actual political spectrum is between socialism/communism on the left and capitalism on the right, with social democrats in the center. Bernie is extremely radical compared to all of his peers but he is still a centrist, it’s just that this country has been constantly shifting rightward faster and faster pretty much throughout most of it’s history, so it allows liberals to pretend to be opposed to conservatives while actually not moving far enough to the left to actually be on a different side, this of course requires abandonment of any hope and admiration for capitalism which is something always taught to us as being of the utmost importance. Democrat president terms do not do anything to oppose this never ending move rightward, Carter, Clinton and Obama all did a ton to service and build up the military industrial complex, surveillance state, NATO aggression, and the tentacles of the secret mafia police known as the CIA. We’re now at the point of our society not being able to reach a consensus of opposition to Bloody Gina becoming its director, which would never be happening now if Obama ever bothered to do a single thing to punish the Bush torture regime. Does anyone even realize that since last February she’s been the fucking deputy director, the position right below, which Trump appointed her to without any need for confirmation, and no one in the media ever said a damn thing about it? Being the deputy director of an intelligence agency is clearly an important position, as McCabe was able to grift all these shitlibs out of more than half a million dollars over a lie about him being fired for being a liar. And even if Haspel had been kept away from any job with any amount of power this whole time, does anyone honestly think the CIA would avoid black ops torture programs without her? Yeah she is one of the biggest torture lovers around there, but would an agency that never hesitates to send out right wing extremist death squads to rape and pillage entire countries just as punishment for striving for independence from capitalist hegemony, ever hesitate to commit unthinkable atrocities if it’s even possibly remotely helpful for America, regardless of who’s directing the agency? The state of public discourse is so so so far behind anything remotely substantive and real that it’s hard to be anything but hopeless for the future, and that is absolutely a consequence of the neoliberal order which has dominated globally and continued to expand ever since the cold war.

The only hope for revolution, besides legalization of psychedelics, is capitalism’s built in self destruction. Anything always expanding, growing without regulation or concern for sustainability, zero concern for accountability and the wellbeing of the common man, will always be unsustainable and eventually crumble upon itself. As Lenin wrote in ‘Left-Wing’ Communism: An Infantile Disorder, “the fundamental law of revolution, which has been confirmed by all revolutions and especially by all three Russian revolutions in the twentieth century, is as follows: for a revolution to take place it is not enough for the exploited and oppressed masses to realise the impossibility of living in the old way, and demand changes; for a revolution to take place it is essential that the exploiters should not be able to live and rule in the old way. It is only when the ‘lower classes’ do not want to live in the wold way and the ‘upper classes’ cannot carry on in the old way that the revolution can triumph. Revolution is impossible without a nation-wide crisis (affecting both the exploited and exploiters). It follows that, for a revolution to take place, it is essential, first, that a majority of the workers (or at least a majority of the class-conscious, thinking and politically active workers) should fully realise that revolution is necessary, and that they should be prepared to die for it; second, that the ruling classes should be going through a government crisis, which draws even the most backward masses into politics, weakens the government, and makes it possible for the revolutionaries to rapidly overthrow it.”

I am gracious to have lived in the only area of the country, from what I understand, to have a socialist representing in local government – it is good that DSA members have been getting elected different places but I’m not counting them. But there’s still such massive problems facing Seattle brought by Amazon, such as hordes of rich liberals and neo nazis (less of a difference than most think) displacing so many families and making the prices of everything skyrocket, while stripping away the beautiful generations-old history of the city for lifeless, cold machinations of the corporate stranglehold smothering us all. And then when someone dares to request that that megacorp sucking the life out of everything around us pay some taxes so that the people that aren’t rich or white enough for a plush tech career might have a chance to find affordable housing, they all cry and moan about stifling the business community. It’s so toxic how the unending and unquestioned obsession with infinite growth is willingly upheld by capitalists, it’s absolutely untethered from the basic principles of reality. Not even talking about holograms and other realms, but how the laws of nature that we all know physically work on this planet. The “market” as an entity with agency is the biggest delusion of all within economics, stories like it’s invisible hand or that it always corrects itself are such obvious infantile fantasies. This unfortunately only becomes obvious when you lose motivation or ability to climb the ladders within capitalist structures, namely the poor and underprivileged and disadvantaged. These are things I only realized after being forced into long-term serious poverty and suffering from serious mental illnesses with zero support system or anyone anywhere with the ability or desire to actually help me. How could someone in my situation, having been through what I have, still be delusional enough to think that there’s hope for everyone and oppression is easily escapable? Having been exposed to the deep depths of cruelty life can throw you in, it freed me from having to make excuses for all of the suffering around the world. That’s one of the main cognitive dissonances ingrained into liberalism, awareness of how many people around the world are starving, in serious poverty, in a war torn country or exposed to natural disasters without aid, or victim of genocide or political violence, but all of that is so complicated and messy it’s easier to just focus on what affects you directly and pretend that all those people will find help eventually. The lie we’re all fed is that capitalism provides people with opportunity, but the reality is that on a large scale it robs people of opportunity, and whenever people try alternative systems aimed at providing for the common man, the CIA (Capitalist Insurgency Assholes) stops at nothing sabotage and suppress socialist movements through false flags, psyops, puppet dictators, agitprop, death squads and militias.

And of course business partner and close friend of the CIA being Bezos, who is undoubtedly feeding live audio streams of everyone with an IoT’s household conversations to Langley and/or Fort Meade. He has the fucking balls to say that the only responsible thing he can think to do with his billions upon billions in hoarded wealth grifted from the national taxpayer base is to burn it on fancy space fantasies for the ultra rich, but then halts expansion of new offices (as if destroying entire neighborhoods isn’t already enough) in order to feed the boot lickers eager to attack any taxes on businesses or the rich. They moan about taxes from the massive tax-cheating megacorp already crushing the city in order to support poor people is the worst thing ever, but how many of them know how many billions of taxpayer dollars the Pentagon has wasted and tossed away? How many people know that the money taken out of their paychecks goes to funding the worst genocide since WW2 in Yemen, the indiscriminate slaughter of Arabs in Gaza, and towards numerous Jihadist terrorist groups in Syria? I mean there’s been points in recent history where Pentagon-backed extremist militants were fighting CIA-backed extremist militants in Syria, money is being stolen from all of us without consent to fund the majority of the worst atrocities on the globe, we’re paying for Islamic terrorists to shoot each other with our guns. But how dare the evil socialists suggest that megacorporations that already evade all its taxes pay something to help the poor! And if anyone dares to say anything about this in public, then they must be a Putin puppet or Assad apologist.

So many people around here are so eager to brown-nose Bezos, who clearly has zero concern for the wellbeing of any of his workers or the communities he burns to the ground, I fear that in the coming decades, everyone will be mandated to live in cookie cutter Amazon micro-apartment buildings with mandated subcutaneous surveillance trackers. The tech workers and elites get the Prime luxury apartments, while the poor have to fight each other to the death for squatting rights in the dwindling number of tiny run down studios, and those are the only two classes. AI, AR, VR and robots will of course be taking over the vast majority of jobs in the near future, and as long as the means of production remain in the control of the elite, these new tech advancements will never ever even be considered to be put to use for solving mass poverty or ending wars or radical climate action or redistributing wealth, every hedge fund and investor will jump at the first opportunity to kick out all vulnerable and low wage workers and make shiny expensive fancy toys for corporate welfare queens. Because that’s the very purpose of capitalism, always make as much profit as possible and strive to eventually concentrate the entirety of global wealth in the hands of a few people. It’s not nearly enough to tax corporations like Amazon, there needs to be heads rolling in the street. Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk need to be executed for their crimes against humanity along with the rest of their ilk, and all these corporate structures need to be forcefully dissolved entirely. There will never be hope of reversing how fast we’re spiraling into unfathomably unsustainable inequality, mass human rights violations and inescapable oppression, unless the bastards leading us down that road feel the pain that they inflict on millions and millions of innocent people. I hope that the Seattle Times cartoonist is a clairvoyant instead of just a whiny dipshit, most of the absurd right-wing cartoons fear-mongering about democrats and libs being communists that are taking radical action could not be less accurate now but I hope are prophetic of the future.

Some things I can’t publish while living without being slandered as a Russian troll – In the same way that Iran Contra, MK Ultra and the JFK assassination have gone down in history as the intelligence operations of a past era, this era will have Russiagate, White Helmets and false flag gas attacks, Skripal, and the assassinations of BLM leaders as the intelligence ops of the time. This is all obvious to anyone that reads the news closely without corporate filters and can see the patterns of how the CIA and FBI have always covertly operated domestically and globally since their inception, in collaboration with MI6 and the Mossad. The state of Israel needs to be destroyed entirely, it was a mistake in the first place, has always enforced worse apartheid than in South Africa, and is an inspiring ethnostate. And their state-sponsored troll farms and disinformation campaigns along with the most advanced intelligence capabilities aimed with the only purpose of destabilizing the middle east and maintaining perpetual chaos. People are fucking stupid enough to think that some non-government affiliated click farm in St Petersburg posting puppy memes on facebook actually damaged our “democracy” but are completely blind to how nearly everyone in our government begs and grovels for the opportunity to pander to Israel, who’s covertly influencing so many internet and media narratives. It’s not an anti-semetic thing, Bibi loves anti-semites and to enable them because that’s what serves the Israeli geopolitical agenda. And there’s no proof at all to that Russian influence and sowing discord bullshit, literally every single story is hollow with nothing to back it up. It’s easy to believe what’s shoved down your throat by mainstream media, but when you actually look at it, it’s clear that Guccifer 2.0 is a multi-level fraud, a fictional identity created by the Crowdstrike CEOs as the solution for the Clinton campaign panicking about wikileaks teasing email dumps. Unintentionally meta, it’s like a matroyshka doll. On the outside, he’s a lone wolf somewhere in Europe. Then you look at the first layer of planted metadata and forensic info which points towards Russia, and everyone in the media immediately jumps to it having to be a Putin agent who very poorly tried to appear as a lone wolf. But every single piece of evidence tying Guccifer 2 to Russia was so shoddily tacked on to the documents, while genuine data indicating that the data had to have been locally transferred and was modified on the American east coast, plus the public timeline of relevant events makes it obvious that it was impossible to have come from a foreign “hack” and someone on the east coast is very obviously trying to frame this as someone in Russia who’s poorly trying to appear as a lone wolf. As far as I can tell, the recent story about Guccifer having logged “real” Russian IPs in social media sites has no technical hard evidence to support that. So the FBI and the CIA should put their cards on the table and reveal precisely where and what these Russian IP logs are. That’s the start of a long road of allegations and fake news stories that need to be revisited and given real, no bullshit evidence to support.

Many years ago, in late middle and early high school I was in a band that played mostly Muse covers, they were my favorite back then but I haven’t listened to any rock at all for years until very recently. I’ve been revisiting Muse’s catalog and remembered a song titled “Thoughts of a Dying Atheist.” That moment struck me as Jungian given the circumstances, hearing it for the first time a couple weeks ago since long before ever becoming suicidal, in a period when I loved it only for the music. The chorus goes “it scares the hell out of me, and the end is all I can see.” I have always been an atheist being it’s how I was raised, even though I’ve long abandoned nihilism and the foolish idea that there’s no form of genuine spirituality. Back when I was a Muse fan, even though I was no where near needing to fear death I would have agreed with the words by and large, as death is not something we’re raised to appreciate or assess in this society. Yet now in revisiting I feel rather proud since I’m not scared of death at all. Through spiritual awakenings mostly since last summer I’ve completely made peace with transitioning out of this plane. Having found a method and time frame where I can pass immediately without pain all on my own time and terms, I’ve taken care of every concern on this end of the journey. I can’t know what it will be like on the other side, but I am absolutely certain that the energy of my conscious will be returned to the universal order. Thus, the thoughts of this dying atheist are that even though the end is all I can see, it excites the hell out of me. It is only a transformation, all that will end is the torture and agony that has been foisted upon me in this existence.

“Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” - Macbeth (5.5.19-28)

Recently I’ve gone to the beach, ridden ferries and sought out large pools often because there’s nothing more calming to me than the meditation of staring off into the water. As Mandelbrot and fractal patterns are found throughout math, science and much of nature, I see the waves in large bodies of water as fractal-like too. No matter how closely you focus your gaze or how far you stare out into the horizon, the patterns of the waves appear to repeat inside and outside of each other at all magnitudes of size along the surface. And I feel an incredible energy from it, how the waves can appear calm and tranquil on the surface but you know deeper down, the entire moving masses of water carry enormous weight and power. The waves exponentially repeat themselves in all directions with simultaneous grace and massive force, reconciling contradictions and entire spectrums, what could be more emblematic of the beauty of the laws of nature? When I ask myself where I go after I die, I say that’s where, the water. I doubt I would and wouldn’t want to be reincarnated as water, but as my brain shuts off and my soul becomes non-localized and free, its essence will return into the entirety of nature, and I have never been more certain of that than anything in my life. Pharrell got it right, no one ever really dies because energy is never created or destroyed, and whats in all of our minds are just localized variants of the same energy that makes everything else around us.

My final work can be found at scribd.com/document/378259892 or anonfile.com/86C0raeeb1, I’m pulling a Kafka and leaving it unfinished

Did I truly live life, or simply ride the sands as they tumbled through the hour glass? Holding on the fine moments is like grasping water – always there, yet always slipping away. Lusting for more than we need, leading to the greed of acquisition and the gluttony of position. A future that feels far but all too close. One that could be sublime if we didn’t fall behind in the times from our refinement of the mind, the state of my people is altered but my faith is completely unfaltered. I’m reaching up and reaching out, to go where no one’s been. Spiral out, keep going

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datingadviceonreddit · 4 years

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A bit of a long post and based off a shower thought I had, but figured it'd be worth sharing. After being in the OLD world for a little bit and reading people's stories here and on other subreddits, I've noticed there's tons of parallels between online dating as a guy [27M here] and my experiences with the job market. It's probably pretty vain to equate romantic relationships with jobs, but this is more about the context and my experience anyway. Hopefully this isn't too off topic, so for what it's worth, here it is.When I first graduated college and was on the hunt for a job, I pretty much did what most people do: set up a LinkedIn profile, drafted a resume, got some nice professional clothing, etc., and started browsing online job sites. I saw a wide range of jobs: some were with high-profile companies that had great pay and interesting work, all the way to postings at companies I've never heard of with low pay and vague or boring (and sometimes sketchy looking) job descriptions.At first, I just applied to all the jobs that I thought I would like, which usually ended up being the high paying, interesting, and cool looking jobs. I put a lot of effort into pursuing them with my resume and custom tailored cover letters and follow-up phone calls, only to have my efforts met with almost complete silence. I realized that basically everyone wanted those jobs, so my application was just getting drowned in a sea of other applicants flooding their inbox, so most of them would just ghost me without even a rejection letter.As time went on, I eventually just decided to go with a "shotgun" approach, where I just sent a presentable, but generic, resume and application off to as many places as I could. I got phone calls back, and even a couple interviews. I also had some places search me out and call/email me without me even sending them an application, but the ones that seemed too good to be true mostly just turned out to be scams after some investigation.After a while of no success though, I started becoming discouraged, and after reading posts online by other jobseekers, I became convinced that the job market was flooded and basically everyone was getting flooded with applicants. During this time, a contracting company from out of state called me up for a phone screen, and after passing that, set up a Skype interview. After the Skype interview, I got a phone back offering me a job! Exciting, but over the course of the interviews, I saw that the job wasn't that interesting, wasn't in a city I liked, and didn't pay very well. Against my better judgement, and figuring I wasn't going to get anything better, I decided to accept the job.I was in a pretty dark place mentally for the year I worked at that job. On tops of the issues I had before, the workplace was boring at best and toxic at worst and the management was abusive (things like threatening to fire employees to get them to work harder were pretty common, and we were all hired as contractors so we were basically disposable anyway). Eventually, I came to my senses, and realized that I deserved better than to be somewhere that treated me the way they did, so the days I wasn't working late I spent updating my resume and hitting the online job sites again.After a little over a year, I managed to have a stroke of luck. I went to visit an old friend for his wedding, and during some catching up, the conversation topic eventually became jobs and what each of us were doing after college. I shared my story about the long string of rejections and settling on a company and how that company was currently treating me. After that story, my friend mentioned that he knew of a company that I might be a good fit with and that I should apply.A few weeks after the wedding, I found that company online and saw that they had job openings available. The job description looked pretty interesting, was in a pretty cool city, and the pay, while not at the top of the spectrum, was definitely enough for me to be happy with. With a renewed sense of purpose, I cleaned up my resume, drafted a nice cover letter just like I used to, and sent in my application. A few days later, I got a call back!After a phone interview, they told me they were impressed and would like to set up a Skype interview (the company was, again, out-of-state so in-person interviews weren't really feasible). During the Skype interview, I got to find out more about the company and really developed a good connection with the people interviewing me. Sure enough, a few days later, I got another call from them informing me that I got the job, which I promptly accepted! Shortly after that, I turned in my two weeks notice, and in a few weeks I was off to a new city to start my new job.The job ended up being something I enjoyed, the management is nice, and the company culture is fantastic! After working there for about a year, I noticed that they do regularly scheduled hiring phases and based on that schedule, they started posting job openings shortly after I settled with that first company. If I had only widened my search a little bit and kept on searching a little while longer instead of just settling for that first company, I would have found them over a year ago during my first search! I'm still with that company today, and this has definitely been a good chapter of my life!TL;DRI guess the moral of the story here is love, like a good job, takes patience and perseverance to find and you'll save yourself a lot of pain and misery by sticking to that, rather than caving to despair and settling for someone who makes you unhappy simply because you just want an immediate relationship. If you made it this far, thank you for reading my long winded, late night ramblings! via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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Trust me, I’m a fake doctor: how medical imposters thrive in the real world

Versions of Jodie Whittakers bogus TV medic do exist. But fantasists and charlatans tend to operate outside the hospital, where victims have been assaulted, misdiagnosed or offered false hope

Within the first half-hour of the BBCs psychological thriller Trust Me, Cath (a former nurse) had stolen her doctor friends identity, picked up some suturing skills from YouTube, and was handling a stethoscope like a pro. Before you could say: Adrenaline, STAT!, Cath (played by Jodie Whittaker) was a fake doctor at an Edinburgh hospital, yanking twisted ankles into place and shoving chest drains where they belonged.

It couldnt happen in real life, though, could it? It already has. Others with medical backgrounds have posed as fully fledged doctors before. Take Levon Mkhitarian who encountered 3,363 patients in two years, working across seven NHS trusts on oncology, cardiology, transplant and surgical wards as well as in A&E. Mkhitarian, originally from Georgia, had graduated from medical school in the Caribbean island of Grenada and received provisional registration from the General Medical Council (GMC) to work specifically under supervision here. But he failed to complete the year. He went on to fraudulently secure a job anyway, was caught, and then promptly struck off. Undeterred, he forged a host of documents including a medical degree and energy bills, stealing the identity of a genuine doctor. The IT department of the William Harvey hospital in Ashford, Kent, finally rumbled Mkhitarian when he applied for a security pass in the name of another doctor. He pleaded guilty to fraud charges and in July 2015 was sentenced to six years in prison.

Levon Mkhitarian worked as a locum, never staying in one hospital or one speciality too long. Photograph: Kent Police/PA

These sorts of hospital cases are uncommon the subterfuge required is substantial and most medical impostors thrive in the community (more of which later) or apply for non-clinical roles. Anecdotally, the GMC receives about half a dozen cases a year where details of a registered doctor (their name or GMC number) have been used illegally. According to the Crown Prosecution Service, 13 people were charged with pretending to be registered as a doctor since 2004 (under the Medical Act 1983) prosecution figures are unavailable and this omits those charged more broadly under the Fraud Act 2006.

How did Mkhitarian get away with it? He certainly capitalised on medicine generally being a team sport. There are (or always should be) senior decision-makers around medical training is an apprenticeship and so asking for assistance wouldnt necessarily raise a red flag. He may have had enough experience to coast at times, just as Caths nursing background helped in the first episode of Trust Me she quickly diagnosed a boxers fracture and deftly administered intravenous drugs. And Mkhitarian later worked as a locum, never staying in one hospital or one speciality too long.

He earned 85,000 during the two years, but undoubtedly sought more than financial gain. Steven Jay Lynn, professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Binghamton, believes a variety of motivations drive medical impostors: a grandiose fantasy of power, respect, authority and the social rewards of being a doctor.

Lynn also thinks that many are old-fashioned charlatans. Theyre likely not much different from conmen and women of different stripes who try to pull off scams in the business world, law and psychology, he says. Many could probably be described as callous, lacking in empathy, narcissistic, antisocial and even psychopathic, such that they can exploit people and treat them as objects without guilt or remorse.

Their hunting ground is often outside the hospital, away from the scrutiny of regulators or eagle-eyed IT departments. They prey upon impressionable, suggestible and vulnerable victims, perhaps not explicitly stating they are doctors, but professing medical knowledge all the same. Recently, 48-year-old Joseph Valadakis from Tottenham, north London, convinced his victims that he had treated the royal family, Barack Obama, Banksy, Robbie Williams, Theresa May and Russell Brand. One Hertford couple fell for Valadakiss claim of running a government laboratory he assured them he was allowed to treat commoners, too. Meanwhile, his website stated that he possessed a biophysics PhD: It gave him the credibility we were looking for at the time, one of the defrauded couple said. She and her husband received wrap treatments costing 1,600 each (made from the excrement of snails fed on lemongrass) and 2,000 massages with whale sperm. These treatments would prevent otherwise inevitable strokes, heart attacks and blindness, Valadakis insisted. He (incorrectly) diagnosed the husband with pancreatic cancer, cautioning him against obtaining a second opinion. The couple were ultimately conned out of 97,000. In 2015, Valadakis, who had no medical qualifications, was jailed on fraud charges for four years.

Other victims of medical impostors pay a different price. Sheffield civil servant Stewart Edwards posed as a GP for 34 years, targeting Asian families (initially following them home and looking up names on the electoral roll). He arrived at their doorsteps carrying a briefcase and stethoscope, claiming he had been sent from a local health centre. Unsuspecting families let him in; one treated him as their family GP for a decade. In 2011, Edwards pleaded guilty to 13 offences five indecent assaults, two sexual assaults on a child, three counts of sexual activity with a child and three sexual assaults on two women and a man, between 2000 and 2010. He was jailed for four years. But Edwards admitted to impersonating a GP since 1976, in London and Sheffield. His actual number of victims remains unknown.

The family of Angela Murray say medical deception hastened her death. Photograph: Collect/BNPS

Some victims forgo effective treatments or receive unnecessary ones. An ongoing Ohio lawsuit claims that dozens were given a false diagnosis of dementia by Sherry-Ann Jenkins who had no medical qualifications. The Associated Press reported that her patients had been planning their final years, preparing their children for the inevitable, quitting their jobs and selling their possessions. Attorney David Zoll tells me that many of his 65 clients are devastated; they had placed absolute faith in Jenkins. One developed depression after his diagnosis and took his own life. An autopsy showed no evidence of Alzheimers, his wife says. She, too, was mistakenly diagnosed with dementia by Jenkins.

Back in Britain, the family of Angela Murray say medical deception hastened her death. The lack of a transplant was going to kill Angie anyway, her brother said, but I am totally convinced her death was due to this. It took away her will to live.

She met Julie Higgins at Inspire beauty salon in Poole, Dorset. Higgins was a regular there, or at least visited whenever her hectic schedule allowed, she said. She claimed to be an oncologist at Great Ormond Street childrens hospital and a humanitarian aid worker. Occasionally she arrived in medical garb, apparently fresh from a volunteer shift at the local health centre, happy to dispense medical advice to other customers. Sometimes, she had her head shaved, too, later, saying it put her young cancer patients at ease.

Murray, a 59-year-old sales manager, was terminally ill with lung fibrosis and pulmonary hypertension. But Higgins carried hope when there was barely any to find she would source transplant organs, she assured Murray, on one occasion telling her to fast overnight as organs were in transit from Germany. Later, she sent texts from a supposed aid mission to Aleppo, promising to donate Murray her organs if she died. None of it was true.

Murrays family did become suspicious, but her brother, Dave Drummond, explained: Even when it was at its most unbelievable, I didnt want to say to Angie I think shes a conwoman. It would have just taken all the hope away from her.

Angelas husband, Gregory, told a local newspaper about how the eventual exposure of Higgins, in September last year, affected her: [Angelas] health deteriorated rapidly. Before then, she had said she was going to fight, but she lost hope. A month later she died in my arms.

Higgins claimed dissociative identity disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder were responsible for her actions. Earlier this year, she received a 12-month community order and was instructed to pay a 140 victim surcharge. Judge Donald Tait concluded that the Medical Act 1983 did not allow him to impose a prison sentence.

There was no real financial motive Higgins received free haircuts valued at 80. But she envisaged herself as Murrays saviour. I rang her twice a week to keep her going and support her, she told the Bournemouth Echo. She relied on me and said I was her sanity.

Murrays husband sees Higgins as anything but: To put my wife through what she put her through, Ive never met someone so evil. You see things on TV and you think how can people be so stupid. But if someone gives you that little bit of hope you grasp at it.

Criminals such as Edwards, Higgins and Valadakis who act outside hospitals never register with the authorities in the first place that is one of the secrets of their success.

But in case Trust Me has you worried about encountering a bogus hospital doctor, the GMC insists that it now conducts face-to-face identity checks for registration and cites a robust data-security system. Employers must take responsibility, they insist, for checking identification and qualifications. Abdul Pirzada became a locum GP in Birmingham after employers failed to challenge his misleading CV or confirm he had registered with the GMC (he hadnt).

You cant be worse than Brigitte! was how one character greeted Cath in Trust Me. Dan Sefton, doctor and writer of the series, said: For me, theres a delicious irony in the idea that the impostor doctor is better than the real thing, both clinically and with patients. Im still hoping Cath wont get away with it. That might be just the reassurance we all need.

Jules Montague is a consultant neurologist and writer.

Trust Me continues on BBC1 on Tuesday at 9pm.