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thehomierobbstark · 4 years

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Kissing Strangers II: Communication

Shame [Prelude] // Kissing Strangers [Part I] // In The Cut [Side Story]

A/N: Annndd we’re back yall!! I know I disappeared for a long while this time, but I’ve been writing and strategizing in the background and I’m hoping I can publish at least some of the things I’ve been working on very soon. Forever thankful for your patience. Forever grateful for your support. Always humbled by the fact you guys allow me to do my thing offline and come back when I need to. Y’all are unreal, and the love is very very real, and I don’t think I can ever put into words how much all of you honestly mean to me ❤️❤️❤️. Anyway. Back to this story. A tiny insight into just one of the things I’ve been struggling with and trying to overcome this year, so I decided to put it into a fic and share it with yall. As always, thank you for the support and I hope you enjoy!!!

Warnings: Minimal Erik appearance, this is mostly x reader based. We on some Softgirl shit this chapter ya’ll. There is a POV change at the very end, hopefully it doesn’t read too confusing.

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!! x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

Sidenote: No tags this round until I can get a few more pieces out but all new stories will be linked in my bio!

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“…You know I still don’t see what the problem is, Y/N.”

You throw your head back, silently groaning to keep your friend on the other side of the line from hearing you.

You knew you should have called Simone instead.

“Um, hello??? Did you forget you had me on speaker phone, bitch? Don’t be grumbling under your breath at me goddammit, you know I’m right! And don’t you dare call Simone ass either after we hang up. I love her, but she’ll have you overthinking and seeing problems that aren’t really there. You know how them Scorpios be.”

You mumble a defeated ‘fine, OK’ at her and grab your phone, relocating yourself over to your vanity table to continue your conversation while you do your hair.

Reaching up, you tug the t-shirt wrapped around your head free as your damp curls fall over your face, turning around to drape the wet shirt over the back of your chair.

Tying the front of your hair up in a bun, you grab your spray bottle and one of your brushes and start to spray and detangle your hair, the leftover conditioner in it from the shower helping to make the process easier.

As you gently smooth your brush through your curls and fall into your hair routine, you start to ponder on your current predicament, allowing your friends wise words to penetrate your mind.

Maybe you were overthinking it.

“Don’t get silent on me now, Y/N. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

You take a deep breath, trying to filter your thoughts and make some sense of them.

“I don’t know, Kay. I don’t really know how to explain it. I just feel like he’s not…interested.” You shrug your shoulders even though you know she can’t see it, not really knowing any other way to explain yourself.

“Okay. And what makes you say that?”

You inhale, taking a small scoop of leave-in conditioner and working it through a section of hair while you think.

“I dunno. I feel like when we do talk, its great, and there’s a connection there. But sometimes there’s these long periods of absence with no communication, and when that happens I feel like I’m always the last one whose reached out, you know?”

Raking your fingers through your curls one last time, you watch your coils shrink up in the mirror, the tights spirals coming to life after their first layer of moisture.

Unclipping another section in the back, you scoop some more product into your hands, repeating the process.

“Okay, I can feel where you’re coming from. But let me ask you this: what do you mean by long periods of absence?”

Your hands pause in your hair, and you bite your lip, knowing your next words are gonna make you sound like a complete dumbass.

“Uhh…”

“Yeah?” Kay prompts you to continue.

“Umm.. like… two or three days… sometimes?” Your voice gets really small and high pitched at the end, knowing you were being a little ridiculous.

“…Girl.”

You add some additional info, hoping maybe it will help your case.

“Sometimes it’ll even be a whole week tho, too!”

“Y/N.”

“…yes, Kay.”

“You know Erik is in the military, right?”

You roll your eyes, annoyed at the reminder of a fact you knew and thought about often yourself, especially when it came to this issue.

“Yes, I know that Kay.”

“Okay, then you also know that he probably has a lot on his plate and he’s most likely constantly busy all the time.”

You kiss your teeth, absentmindedly running your fingers through your hair again, more-so in a frustratedly-busy way than in a hair-care way.

“Yes Kay, I know that. But come on now. Let’s not act like people aren’t constantly on their phones all the time nowadays. Not to push the tiresome ‘millennial narrative’, but who goes days without checking their phone anymore? It’s not like that nigga is out fighting a war, he’s doing combat training.”

You can hear the undertone of complaint and whining in your voice, and you absolutely hated it. Here you were, a Communications major and Black Women’s Studies minor, and you were getting bothered some dude you kissed once, (okay, twice) wasn’t talking to you enough.

You had yourself fucked up.

You hear chuckling on the other end of the phone and your internal rage subdues itself for a moment, irritation taking its place.

“Damn, Y/N. You must really like this guy.”

You cross your arms, slouching down in your chair while you pout, having too much pride to grace her with a response. She continues, already knowing the look on your face.

“In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you get so worked up over someone. He must really be something special.”

You grab your phone, holding it to your face and practically yelling into it.

“HELLO!! Did you not just hear what I said? I just told you this nigga is borderline ignoring me and you just called him ‘special’!”

More laughter takes over on her end again and you toss your phone back on the table, finishing your section and unclipping the last one in the back, muttering under your breath about Erik being a special piece of shit.

Once Kay finally recovers from your mini tirade, she speaks once again, full of a wisdom and knowledge you knew your stubborn ass needed to hear, even if you didn’t want to at the moment.

“He’s not ignoring you Y/N, and you know that. The only reason you feel like this is because you have strong feelings and you’re not sure if they’re being reciprocated or not, and the long distance certainly doesn’t help. Have you told him how you’ve been feeling?”

You sit there and delay a moment, nestling a little more into your stubbornness because of the fact that her words just punched a hole right into the wall of insecurity you’d been maintaining over the years.

She waits for your response, already knowing the answer.

“….No.”

Her voice softens. “Okay, but how do you expect for him to know how you’re feeling if you don’t tell him? You’re letting yourself overthink and go through all of these emotions by yourself, meanwhile he’s half a world away thinking that everything is fine. If you don’t clue him in to what it is you’re going through, he won’t be able to help.”

Finishing with the bottom half of your hair, you wipe your hands off on the damp t-shirt and unwrap the rest of the hair on the top of your head. You frown at her last statement, not liking the way it made you feel.

“I don’t know if he should even have to help me with any of this though, Kay. I mean, these are my issues. I’m the one whose clearly having trouble with this, it’s not fair for me to ask him to help me figure my shit out.”

She makes a hum of acknowledgement while you continue expressing yourself.

“I mean, how would I feel if some dude came to me with a mountain full of problems expecting me to fix them? I’d fucking laugh in his face and walk away. I can’t ask that of him.” The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you had a lot of unresolved issues you were still healing from. What kind of person would you be if you involved yourself with someone else, knowing that?

“Okay. I can see where you would think that, but you’re thinking about it in the wrong way. You think that if you open up to him and tell him what you’re feeling, that it’s the same as asking him to fix your problems. But you’re not like that, Y/N. In fact, you’ve never been like that.”

You think a moment about what it is she’s saying, trying to decide whether or not you agree.

“I mean, think about it, Y/N. When have you ever asked someone for help? I mean genuinely stopped and reached out to someone else, or even told them when you’re having trouble with something? You don’t, hun. You’ve always dug your heels into the dirt and rolled up your sleeves to get it done by yourself because you don’t trust that someone else can really be there for you the way you need them to be. No matter how many people you have in your corner ready to fight for you.”

You think about all the lectures and scoldings you’d gotten from friends and family over the years because of the times you’d soldiered at something alone rather than take the help that was offered to you. You’d felt that if you always needed someone else to help you get through something, then what did that say about your own strength and ability to take care of yourself? You’d rather die struggling than ever give someone else the power to say that you wouldn’t be anything without them.

“Look, Y/N/N. I know this is really hard. And I know this is something you don’t like to talk about, but if you like this guy as much as I think you do, you’re gonna have to learn how to let go and trust that you and Erik are building a relationship where you can truly depend on each other. That includes communicating your feelings even when you’re not sure how the other person will receive them.

It’s gonna be scary as hell, I won’t lie. But you gotta know deep down inside that love can’t exist in the same place that doubt lives. You gotta trust the process.”

You’d stopped doing your hair completely now, sitting back and twirling a finger around one of your strands while Kay talked.

It wasn’t like you didn’t understand exactly what she was saying. Kay definitely had the bulk of experience between the two of you when it came to romantic relationships, and the thing you’d come to really admire about her throughout the years of your friendship was her ability to always put herself back out there once again with an open heart and mind, no matter how badly the last relationship may have ended.

Your own inability to deal with your emotional vulnerability was something you were far too aware of, and you’d seen it affect your personal relationships time and time again, your current situation with Erik just being the most recent example.

It was rare for you to catch feelings for someone, and to be honest, the fact that you and Erik had made it this far into whatever it was you guys were doing had you shaken to your core. Every moment and interaction with him was completely new for you, and your uncertainty with navigating this new ‘thing’ was starting to show with your recent anxieties about the situation.

You really wanted to believe that Erik was feeling you, because it was too late to deny your feelings for him. But there was a tiny little voice in the back of your head always saying something to keep you guessing, making you doubt whether or not what the both of you had was even real.

It was time for you to make a decision.

“Y/N? Y/N? You still there?”

You blink yourself back to the present, clearing your throat and picking up the phone, taking it off speaker phone and holding it to your ear.

“Yeah, I’m still hear, Kay.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah.” Your voice sounds far away, still deep in thought as you reflect on the mental hurdles your mind was trying to overcome so you could figure out how to move past the fear holding your heart hostage.

“Well okay, girl. I don’t want to hold you up, but I want you to think about what I said some more, OK?”

You chuckle a little, nodding your head as you answer your friend.

“Okay, Kay. I will. I promise.” You add on the last two words, knowing that if you said them, she would believe you. You always kept your promises.

“Good. I expect a full report tomorrow morning when I call you before work!” She laughs too, halfway serious. “…And Y/N?”

“Yeah, Kay?”

You can hear her quiet back down a little, the soft tenderness of her voice seeping back into her words once more as she spoke.

“Do me a favor please and try to call him, okay? Just, try and talk to him, at least once. That way when you hear his voice and listen to what he says, you’ll know whether or not what you feel is real.”

Your breath gets heavy and your heart skips a beat, almost feeling it in your throat. Call him? You hadn’t thought of that. Come to think of it, you’d never called him.

Other than the last time you saw him in person, pretty much all your communication had been through text except for the occasional video message.

“Can you do that, Y/N?” Your best friends compassionate voice speaks in your ear, and you swallow thickly, nodding your head.

“Yeah, I can do that I think.”

“You promise?”

Damn. Should’ve never said that shit.

You roll your eyes, stifling a deep breath. “Yeah yeah, I promise.”

“Good!” You can practically feel her cheesy ass grin through the phone, already knowing it was plastered on her face triumphantly from giving you the challenge.

“Love youuu,” she sings out over the phone, and you kiss your teeth, groaning.

“Love your annoying ass too. Now get off my phone, wasting all my damn minutes.”

“Bitch, now you know damn well you ain’t got no one else to talk to to be kicking me off like this.”

“GOOD-BYE KAY.”

After a few more rounds of back and forth and finally hanging up (but not before agreeing to call her back in the morning with allll the details), you walk over to your nightstand and plug your phone in, returning to the vanity to finish your hair.

After slathering your strands in a second coat of hair cream and deciding against using a gel this week, you glance at the clock, noting that the night was still young and you had time to cook and clean the kitchen like you’d planned. Tying your hair up in a high pineapple, you slip on some fuzzy socks and head to the kitchen, stomach grumbling hungrily.

~~~

A couple hours later you plop down onto your bed, completely exhausted and ready to relax. Pulling your bowl of shrimp scampi over to you, you spike a shrimp with your fork, popping it into your mouth while you flip through the channels to find something to watch.

Your eyes glance down to the time on the cable box, seeing that it was only about 7:30.

It should be about 10:30 where Erik is, now.

The thought had crossed your mind before you could even stop it, and you close your eyes, willing yourself to get control over your thoughts.

You promised Kay you would call him.

Goddammit. You slam the remote down on the bed, it making a soft thud against the comforter, and you sit up, placing your bowl onto your nightstand and picking up your phone, unplugging it.

You twirl it around in your hand a few times, trying one last time to try and find a way to talk yourself out of it.

But of course, the one time you actually want the nagging little voice in the back of your mind to say something, she’s as quiet as a mouse.

Before you can second guess it, you quickly open your phone and tap the screen until you reach Erik’s contact, finger hovering over the call button.

It’s time to make a decision, Y/N.

Fuck it.

Taking a deep breath, you press the phone icon, pressing the phone to your ear as you wait for the call to connect.

When it starts to ring, you tense a little, bringing your knees to your chest as you wrap your arm around them, feeling your nerves start to creep up on you.

By the third ring, you wonder if maybe you caught him at a bad time, remembering what he’d said to you once about having a strict bed ti-

“Hello?”

You pause, your mouth agape as your eyes widen, your words getting stuck in your throat.

“Y/N? Are you there?”

You open and close your mouth, not sure what to say.

“Babygirl?”

You finally get the breath back in your lungs, and you speak.

“Yeah, yeah I’m here. Sorry, I just, I didn’t know what to say. I…I’ve never called you before.” You give a weak chuckle, your fingers winding themselves tightly around the hem of your shirt.

“I know. Is everything okay? Are you okay?” You can hear the worry in his voice, and you could kick yourself for accidentally making him panic like this.

“Yeah I’m okay, Erik. I’m okay.”

“Okay, good.” You hear his voice calm a little, followed by a whoosh of breath. “What’s up then, baby?”

You feel your insides warm at the pet name, your cheeks twitching at the corners into a small smile.

“Nothing, I um…”

You fist your free hand into a loose fist, twiddling your fingers against one another as you struggle to get the words out.

Just say it.

Closing your eyes, you try again, clearing your throat.

“I uh… I miss you.”

~~~~~

Three thousand miles away at the Natick, MA US Navy Department, Erik stands outside the Naval Operations building, the rough sound of two M1161 Growlers noisily passing by in the background.

It had been a tough week, much like the past four that he’d been struggling to get through without losing a part of himself in some way. He knew you always went to bed early for work, so he’d been putting off talking to you for another few days until he had time that he could set aside and devote to just you.

But here you were, on his line, calling him out of the blue. And the sound of your voice was the sweetest thing he’d heard all deployment.

His cheeks ache at your confession, much like his heart, and he bites his lip to keep from smiling like a lovestruck teen.

“I miss you too, babygirl. More than you even know.”

#okay it's 1 in the morning and i have work tomorrow but i WILL put this in my bio tomorrow okay lol #thehomiefics #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger x black!reader #black panther #bp #black panther fanfiction #black panther fandom

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nofliight · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stole it from @sternenteile and honestly others tbh tagging: TAKE

my muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ for better or for worse, he’s THE face of kid icarus, after all. he’s a dork and funny and likeable and even if the fandom tends to get him WRONG (thanks smash bros) there’s no denying his popularity ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ i don’t??? think so??? most people are too busy talking about how they think he’s like 5 ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ EVEN THE FANDOM AIN’T GONNA MESS THIS UP. MAN FIGHTS GODS. CALL THAT WEAK. ]

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ make no mistake - pit’s got fans and plenty of them but he’s so MISTREATED by the fandom. his character is a lot more complex than he gets credit for and smash bros in particular is a big reason people think he’s just Big Dumb Baby Man ]

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO. [ HE’S THE MAIN CHARACTER, THE CENTRAL FIGURE UPON WHOM THE NARRATIVE IS STRUCTURED AROUND, YEAH HE’S PRETTY RELEVANT. Uprising is literally made to tell the story of a war exclusively through the perspective of a single side and Pit (and Palutena) are the EMBODIMENT of that whole side. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ and a perfect one at that. he’s literally a perfect protagonist don’t tell me i’m wrong cause i’m not ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ pit is beloved by humans... and mocked by the Gods. seen by most as a spineless extension of palutena’s will, most “respect” of any variety goes to palutena while he gets treated as a joke 99% of the time... and it’s not like Palutena gets too much respect either ]

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (????) [ Uhhhhhh... it’s an odd one. Short answer is that Pit’s a good samaritan who’s done a lot of good BUT most of the gods think protecting humanity is a Folly and a Joke and that Pit’s just a pawn of Palutena’s and while the humans do hold a lot of respect for him, uh............. let’s just say, some humans on the surface have reasons not to be too happy with him. ]

How strictly do you follow canon? — about as much as I need to to respect one of my favorite video games of all time. while kid icarus uprising is a comedic game most of the way through it has a lot more nuance and depth to itself, its world, and its characters than one can see at first glance, even after a full playthrough. if you let yourself get invested in the characters, take a closer look at the dialogue it provides, and acknowledge the central, core storytelling message of the game for what it is, there’s a lot more to pull out than one would think. that being said, it’s still a comedic video game and one that I think could use some more expansion. though the game is inconsistent there seems to be the consensus that pit is like a child and I’m not into that, mine’s a bit more showing in his cynical and snarky side after all he’s been through and overall there’s a lot of expansion on the base while building it into something unique.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — imagine your typical bootstrapped anime protagonist. someone who, when younger, was a runt who couldn’t meet the expectations of others, was looked down on, and found himself crushed and hurt and near-killed by a great tragedy that he was forced to claw his way out of to make himself stronger. Now imagine all of that with a character who comes out still able to have a very real smile and ultimately comes out of it a self-assured, chipper goofball with a good heart. now put that together with all of the darkness and depth you would have expected to be there, but scattered realistically throughout the attitude of someone who does genuinely want to keep a positive attitude. someone who is sincerely an optimist who’s grown past his weaker days, but isn’t quite so simple as he’d like to believe. all of that combined with someone who can’t read, is willing to eat ice cream off the floor in times of duress, is extremely easy to fluster and can channel his goddess’ power to slay GODS? you got one strong man.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — his positive attitude is what most people will see when speaking to him, because for what it’s worth, he’s not actively lying about his depth. he’s a cheerful, jovial man with a big smile and a love of the world around him - which is all well and good, but his depth is something you have to find, even if it is reasonably clear if you’re willing to look. he’s also portrayed as a bit unreasonably dumb at times, and though I personally justify the worst of it with proper explanations, I can understand reducing some of the value of the character in favor of seeing all of his Jokes

What inspired you to rp your muse? — i made my original pit blog, flightlesswarrior, on a total whim after playing kid icarus uprising. cute character, fun premise, why not? but over time, and with numerous plots I was able to take part in exploring the serious, not so serious, shipping, tragedy, and going back through the game to keep my muse rolling, it occurred to me more and more with time just how nuanced and interesting pit and co. really are. pit embodies many of the things i really, truly love in a protag, falling firmly on the side of good, having a heart of genuine gold, and having nuances and parts of his personality that are less than savory without making him seem like a contradiction. he’s got depth, he’s got story, there’s a lot to explore and flesh out... and he’s also just a nice, friendly guy who gets along well with others. plus, i’m drawn to dorks.

What keeps your inspiration going? — a) love for Kid Icarus: Uprising. a game that helped me gain a deeper and more insightful understanding of character development, subtle storytelling, optimism still tinged with legitimate and healthy cynicism, and overall something that changed my understanding of character development and storytelling forever. and b) spite. the fandom treats him like an idiot baby and smash DOES NOT help matters so i have to remind others that he is a veteran of a war, a socially inept loser with few real friends, and someone who’s kindness and optimism was shaped and molded by its hardships in a way that doesn’t require a near-breaking point or a reminder that “this guy could be evil you know” to show how someone can still keep a positive attitude in spite of all the shit life throws at him.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO [ i’d like to think i have?? but i also acknowledge that he’s become something of his Own in some ways that do intentionally diverge from sakurai’s intentions. ultimately though, even though i may not play him completely true to text, i try to be as loyal as i can be to the spirit of the character. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ when i can!! but??? the problem is my mind really, really likes to reiterate the Same Damn Points i have to make with characters that draws me to them - and you know, writing the same hcs over and over is generally considered poor form?? ngl i also prefer to let the writing do the talking unless it’s something that’s not gonna show so 90% of the time pit’s open enough that all but the darker sides of his mind are lain out before you. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ maybe??? once or tWICE???? but i need to write more ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ I REALLY DO, HOO MAMA. i have a lot of thoughts about him, his depth, potential relationships, goofy thoughts, more serious fanfic ideas im never gonna write and don’t get me started on how many SHIPS i have to think about for him ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO [ my portrayal is made out of spite for portrayals in the fandom and some supplementary material that gets him wrong - it’s kinda hard to do that without the confidence ]

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO / ??? [ it’s uhh........ complicated??? i don’t think writing is my expertise, tbh. but it is the best way i have to show the passion i have for characters, by putting their nuances into actions, by allowing them to shine from who they are their core, by exploring relationships and scenarios and struggles and hope and everything that can flesh a character out. whether or not i’m a good writer is something i’m still sorting out - but i’m proud of my ability to develop a character, and to that end i feel like i’m doing fine ]

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / SORTA. [ on one hand......... very. i have a tendency to overthink everything i do and look back at moments i made an ass of myself that keep haunting me throughout my day - they haunt me. i only have two fears: what my immediate friend group thinks of me and the crushing existential weight of worrying one day i’m gonna ruin everything i am SOFT. that being said, i’m also hardheaded and stubborn and i’m not afraid to go off on someone i don’t have much respect for if it comes down to it. i’m easy to anger when it comes down to it you know i guess that proves the point huh i’m not stonefaced at all ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — i try to? it’s a bit touchy for me I admit just because I do take portrayals and try to make them my own, but i am willing to listen if someone has any points they’d like to make that i haven’t acknowledged properly. if criticism IS had, lemme know, i do wanna hear it!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — Y E S

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — not that everyone who disagrees with my opinions has to explain themselves of course, but i do sincerely like the chance to learn if something i’m doing doesn’t quite feel right. even if it’s one-sided and i’ll come to disagree, i’m happy to listen! even if i don’t agree with the disagreement head-on, i like to keep them in mind and see what i can shift around to acknowledge them if necessary

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — neutral?? i mean don’t be mean about it, but if you just think my pit doesn’t seem right or it doesn’t click right with your muse i’m not gonna throw a fit about it. everyone’s allowed to view a character in their own way - and even if i may get salty about those who oversimplify him, it IS anyone’s right to view him how they will.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — agree to disagree tbh. i can’t pretend it wouldn’t disappoint me, but it’s not like, worth ending a friendship over or anything. everyone’s got their own viewpoints to run on

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — sure, within reason! i take pride in my grammar but i know that with my fast typing and often running on only a few hours of sleep some problems do slip in through the cracks. while i generally either catch them or just Die with them i’m all ears if i mess up

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — uhhhhhhhhhh well i’m?? kind of a socially anxious mess honestly which DOES make being easy going a bit difficult BUT i do try and be friendly and sociable as i....... can. i’m too scared to talk to people and CAN say some dumb things but i’m not a hardass or anything!! i like to talk and Yell and shitpost and pretty much do anything but write tbh DHFLKSJDF

#about.#ooc.#hi! i Die for Pit #god this has been in my drafts for MONTHS thanks to my dash for finally reminding me to post this hsdfdfs

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ladynonsense · 5 years

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Clanless (Bloodbound AU) Chapter 5: Something Else

Catch up on my masterlist

It’s been a long time since I updated this series, so a quick recap if you don’t feel like reading parts 1-4 again: Chloe didn’t get the job at Raines Corp, she worked for The Baron instead but he turned her for reasons that aren’t yet clear. Jax rescued her and brought her into the fold of the Clanless. When The Baron came looking for her, they ended up killing him in her apartment and then fled with Lily (who is not a vampire). That should more or less catch you up :)

Pairing: Jax x MC (Chloe)

Warnings: Violence, blood, gore, a scarier side of Jax

Words: 2800

Summary: Chloe helps Lily get back to her normal life, but returns to a very angry and frightened Jax

Series Tags: @teamtomsato @walkerismychoice @sirbeepsalot @boneandfur @lizeboredom @jlouise88 @choicesarehard

Permatags: @choiceslife @blackcoffee85 @debramcg1106 @brightpinkpeppercorn

Chloe woke up in Jax’s bed, curled around Lily. She had no idea how much time had passed since she’d fallen asleep; her dreams had been intense and abstract, shifting scenery and sensations that never quite oriented themselves to any sort of narrative. She didn’t feel as though she’d rested, but she didn’t feel like she needed rest, either.

Carefully she inched away from Lily and slid off the mattress to sit cross-legged on the floor. The only light was a small battery-powered lantern by the door, the kind she used to take camping as a girl scout. Jax was nowhere to be seen, not yet returned from the business he said he had to attend to. Chloe felt a warmth rise through her body as she remembered what they’d done in the dark before he left, the way every little touch from him had overwhelmed her body like an electric shock, the way his blood had tasted like honey in her mouth and his voice, god, that voice, the way his cries of pleasure had echoed in the small, quiet room…

She snapped back to reality, realizing she was breathing heavily and sweat was beading on her forehead.

Vampire feelings were going to take some getting used to.

“Chlo?”

She turned to see Lily groggily sitting up under the blankets, squinting at her without her glasses. “Hey Lil, how’d you sleep?” She spotted Lily’s glasses lying on the ground and handed them to her.

She yawned and stretched, eyes scanning the dim, spartan space. “Not bad I guess. Some nightmares.”

“Yeah,” Chloe whispered, guilt weighing heavily on her. “Lily, I’m so sorry I got you involved in all of this.”

“What? No!” Lily scooted to the edge of the mattress so she could wrap her arms around Chloe, hugging her tightly. “This is happening to you, Chlo. Don’t apologize to me. I just want to help you, in any way I can.”

“Aw, Lil.” She hugged her back, trying to ignore the annoying stirring of different hungers within her at the feel of a warm human body against hers. “You mean the world to me, but you deserve to get back to your life.”

“But so do you.”

Chloe frowned. “Honestly, there’s nothing out there for me except for you. And it’s safer for me here. And...for you. I don’t know what I’m capable of, or what I could become…”

“Chloe. You’re still you. I trust you.”

She pulled away, standing and distancing herself. Lily’s smile fell, and Chloe realized that her fangs were out. “I don’t know what I am anymore, but it’s not who I was...and I don’t trust myself.”

Lily bit her lip, looking like she might cry. “So you’re staying. Here, underground, with this Jax guy.”

Chloe shrugged, allowing herself a small smile. “I mean, at least he’s cute, right?”

Lily stood in front of Chloe, pulling her back into her arms. “He’s like, offensively attractive, yes. But how do you know you can trust him?”

“I don’t,” she answered plainly, “but what else am I supposed to do?”

Lily didn’t answer, still clinging to Chloe, burying her face against her neck.

“Lil...do you have somewhere you can stay, other than the apartment? Until we know it’s safe to go back there?”

“Um…” she wiped at her tear-filled eyes. “I have a friend I could stay with, probably. Josh.”

Chloe cringed. “Josh? Is he a creep?”

Lily shrugged. “He’s like, the normal degree of creep. Manageable creep.”

“I feel like your standards for sleeping at somebody’s place should be higher than ‘manageable creep.’ What about Melanie?”

She shook her head, avoiding Chloe’s eyes. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Everything OK?”

“I dunno. Not OK enough for me to show up at her doorstep out of the blue.”

“Ugh, so, manageably creepy Josh then. Is it close?”

“Totally. Walkable, I think.”

Chloe nodded, not happy about the idea but also not having any better suggestions. Lily needed to be back above ground; she needed to get back to her job and her friends and her life. “Can I walk you there, then? Just to be sure?”

“I’d like that.”

The Shadow Den was surprisingly quiet as they made there way back to the tunnels that led to the city above. “I guess vampires sleep after all,” Lily noted as they slipped away unnoticed.

“Looks that way.” They found their way back to the alley with the hidden entrance, glancing around nervously to make sure they weren’t alerting anyone to the location. “Hey, want to grab a coffee?”

Lily’s face lit up. “Definitely. There’s a place just around the corner here.”

“Perfect.”

They stopped for a cup of barely-drinkable cappuccino from a cheap donut shop, sitting and trading stories and idle chit chat that didn’t involve vampires or ferals or murderous gangsters. They lingered in the shop for over an hour before finishing the walk to Manageably Creepy Josh’s place, where Chloe hugged Lily fiercely outside the apartment building’s door. “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. For real.”

Lily laughed nervously. “I don’t doubt it, Vampire Bestie. I’ll be fine, OK? Just worry about yourself. Stay safe. Please.”

Chloe nodded. “I will. Stay in touch, OK? My phone’s dead now but I’m sure someone down there has a charger or something. I’ll figure it out.”

“Of course. Don’t be a stranger.”

Chloe walked back slowly, enjoying the feeling of normalcy after all the chaos of the past 36 hours. She returned to the shadow den feeling surprisingly light, eagerly looking for Jax.

He was in his room when she returned to it. “Chloe! I couldn’t find you anywhere! Are you OK? Where’s Lily?”

She laughed at his over-concern. “Relax, dude. I was just walking her home. Or, to her friend’s place, anyway.”

“Her friend’s place? What do you mean?”

“His apartment?”

“Above ground?”

“Where else would it be?”

Jax’s concern hardened into a scowl. “Fine. I’m not sure why you feel the need to lie to me, but I guess that’s your prerogative.”

Chloe felt her new-found temper rising to the surface again. “What the hell is your problem? I don’t appreciate being called a liar.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t appreciate being lied to.” He turned away from her but she grabbed his arm and spun him back around, furious.

“Seriously, what the hell is your problem?”

He glared at her for a moment, eyes burning red, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He held it up to her face, the lock screen showing. “This is my problem!”

She stared at the lock screen, puzzled. His wallpaper was just the default abstract pattern that came with the phone. There were no notifications. “Um...what are you trying to show me?”

He tapped at the phone’s screen angrily. “The time, Chloe! It’s 11:00 am!”

“So? I was gone for a couple hours, sue me.”

He stared at her, mouth agape. “Are you seriously not seeing the problem with your story here?”

“Since my story is the truth, no, I don’t see a problem with it.”

“Chloe…” he laid a hand on her shoulder briefly but flinched away, staring at his own hand in confusion.

“What? Why are you being so weird?”

“I didn’t think I needed to tell you that you can’t go out in the daytime. The sun...it’s fatal to us.”

Chloe’s eyes went wide with panic. “What do you mean? What’s going to happen to me?”

He held out his hand again, studying it. Chloe watched as the burn on his palm quickly healed. “You...you really went outside? For hours?”

“I mean, we were indoors for maybe half of that but...yeah. What’s going to happen to me?”

He stepped closer, studying her face but not touching her. “You should’ve burned to death within minutes.”

She laughed, but it came out as a kind of hysterical cackle. “I felt fine. Great, in fact. Are you sure…”

He held out a hand, hovering an inch from her skin, marvelling at the heat radiating off of her. “What are you?” He asked, his voice quiet and shaky.

Her body was not under her own control as her hands reached out and grabbed him by both sides of his head, lifting him a few inches off the ground. A voice bellowed out from somewhere deep within her, loud enough to be heard over Jax’s anguished screams as his skin burned away under her hands. “I AM…”

Jax kicked out her knee hard enough to make her legs buckle out from underneath her, the two of them collapsing next to each other on the floor. He scrambled backwards, his face and ears covered in burns that blistered and healed as he caught his breath. She stared at him in horror, trying to comprehend what had just happened...how she had hurt him so badly.

“Jax, I...that wasn’t…”

He was already across the room, grabbing his sword off the wall.

“I’m so sorry,” she croaked, tears flowing down her face and boiling into steam on her skin. “Please don’t leave me. Please...what is happening to me?”

He knelt in front of her, his expression softening as his skin continued to heal. He set the sword down just out of her reach but within his own. “I don’t know what’s happening to you. But you just attacked me.”

She shook her head frantically. “It wasn’t me. I would never...I wasn’t in control. It was like something took over.”

He continued to silently study her face for a long moment before giving a small nod. “OK. I’ll help you.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, trying to get her quiet sobs under control.

“I have some rules.”

She frowned, meeting his eyes again. “Rules?”

“You don’t go anywhere without me.”

“OK. That’s fine.”

“And you especially don’t go out in the sun. Ever.”

“Fine.”

“And...I think you should feed off of Lily. Primarily.”

“What? Why?”

He finally met her eyes as he answered. “She knows what you are. She already knows the location here. And feeding off of someone you were close to before you were turned...it can help.”

“Help what?”

He looked at her sadly, biting his lip. “Help you not to turn feral.”

A cold dread settled in her chest. “Is that what this is? I’m turning?”

“No...I don’t think so. I’ve seen people turn. Too many. But this is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Still...we should be cautious.”

She nodded in agreement but the feeling of dread didn’t lift at all. “I’ll ask her. Tomorrow. Is that alright?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” He kept staring at her, brow furrowed and sadness in his eyes. For the first time she felt uncomfortable under his gaze. Her own eyes moved to his sword, still at the ready.

“Can you not…”

He followed her gaze and frowned. “I don’t want you to feel threatened, but I can’t trust that...whatever that was...won’t come back.”

“And if it does, what then? You’re going to cut my head off?”

He winced. “Chloe…”

“Promise me you won’t hurt me.”

He looked at the ground, silent for far too long. “I’ll do what I have to do to keep my people safe.”

Her tears were back, her voice choked with sobs as she pleaded with him. “Jax please, no, just tell me you won’t hurt me. Please...”

He picked up the katana, rising to his feet. “Chloe...you need to calm down.”

She jumped to her feet, backing away from him. “Get away from me.”

“Chloe. Take a deep breath, OK? Try to relax.” He held one hand out towards her, but the other still held his katana, ready to strike.

She kept backing towards the door. “I’m leaving.”

He advanced towards her, closing the distance. “We agreed you would stay with me.”

She turned and ran for the door, moving fast enough to reach it in an instant...but so did he. “Let me go,” she pleaded through sobs. “Please let me go!” He didn’t reach for her, and she remembered that he wouldn’t touch her. Not while her skin was burning hot. She opened the door and backed into the corridor, staring him down defiantly.

His expression hardened as he lifted the katana, ready to fight, his eyes burning red now. “I said STOP!”

As her terror boiled over inside her, the world seemed to disappear in a flash of white.

And then darkness.

#jax matsuo #jax x mc #bloodbound #choices fan fic #clanless #bb #bloodbound fan fic

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arachcobra · 5 years

Text

Naruto Episode 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19 Review

Let’s get ready to rumble

Review of Naruto Episode 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19: Haku's Secret Jutsu: Crystal Ice Mirrors, The Number One Hyperactive, Knucklehead Ninja Joins the Fight, Zero Visibility: The Sharingan Shatters, The Broken Seal, White Past: Hidden Ambition, The Weapons Known as Shinobi and The Demon in the Snow

ArachCobra

Hoo boy, this is gonna be a long one.

So Gato's henchmen Zori and Waraji bust into Tazuna's place by straight up carving the wall open. That's kinda awesome. And then they immediately start busting the inventory, because fuck Tazuna's dishes I guess. Anyway, they take Tsunami hostage and plan on killing Inari, but Tsunami promises to let them do whatever they want with her if they spare Inari.

In the English dub anyway. Originally, she threatens to bite her own tongue and drown in her blood if they hurt Inari, denying them a captive. Gotta go with the original Japanese take on this, that's fucking hardcore. Go Tsunami.

So Inari is left behind, crying, because now he's also at risk of losing his mom. But then he remembers Naruto and storms after the two thugs to... Actually, he has no plan other than yelling a challenge and running towards the enemy. Which I grant is very Naruto. And Naruto does show up right then and saves them both.

But imagine if he hadn't. We're supposed to see this as Inari overcoming his issues and gaining courage. But again, courage is defined here as being an idiot. If Naruto hadn't conveniently showed up when he did, having figured Gato's goons were heading for Tazuna's house, Inari would have been cut to ribbons. Courage does not mean not being smart, but the way the show plays it off, we're supposed to think this is admirable. Sure, brave people head into danger all the time. Firefighters, policemen, soldiers. And sometimes, you don't have a choice but to risk it all. I do get that. But that's last resort and only narrative coincidence saved Inari.

Back at the bridge, Haku enters battle by spinning like a fucking beyblade. Not the most intimidating entrance. Then they fight and despite the hype, Sasuke does get the better of him, which makes Zabuza declare that Sasuke is Haku's rival.

Sakura and Kakashi just watch. I guess it would be too much to ask them to join the fight and even the odds in their favour.

Yes, climbing trees magically gave Sasuke the ability to keep up with Haku. I guess. Somehow.

So Haku uses his ace in his sleeve and summons several ice mirrors which he can enter and fight from. Sasuke supposedly gets fucked up pretty badly, but given the sheer amount of needles animated, seems like Haku is missing with most of them.

Finally, Sakura tries to help by throwing a kunai, but Haku catches it, only to get conked in the head by Naruto.

A brilliant sneak attack from our ninja idiot. Good to see.

Of course, he immediately ruins it by doing a dramatic entrance worthy of Darkwing Duck and starts blathering about how this is just like in the stories when the hero arrives in the nick of time.

After getting yelled at, he tries to do the clone thing, only for Zabuza to attack him mid hand sign.

Stuff like this is why I like Zabuza.

Now, Haku does intervene because he wants to fight Naruto, but there's a fundamental problem here that must be addressed.

Now, Naruto, he likes to talk about becoming the greatest ninja ever. But scenes like this reveal something rather... Peculiar.

Fundamentally, Naruto has no fucking clue what a ninja is.

He always tries to storm in and hit hard. Even accepting the much more offensive role ninjas have in this universe, emphasis is still placed on deception, trickery, stealth, tactics. Meanwhile, Naruto thinks he's on an episode of Dragonball, charging in loudly and swinging his fists no matter how big and dangerous his opponent is. At least the others call him out on it this time, but it is troubling that Naruto has managed to become a ninja, despite obviously having no fucking clue what he's supposed to be doing.

And then he 'sneaks' into the mirror dome, trapping himself there with Sasuke.

Because Naruto, on top of everything else, is also an idiot.

Meanwhile, Sakura is guarding Tazuna. That is their main objective, so technically that's great, but since the show instead wants to focus on the interesting battles, it leaves little for her to do.

Back in the dome, Haku keeps destroying Naruto's clones, while Sasuke uses his ally as a distraction to analyze Haku's jutsu to find a way to counter it.

Good on Sasuke. He's actually ninjaing.

And then Kakashi and Zabuza starts fighting, with the latter summoning an extra thick fog to counter the Sharingan. Then, on top of that, he tries to go for Tazuna and Sakura to lure Kakashi into a vulnerable position. Kakashi gets in the way, blood sprays and Sakura screams.

Back in the dome, our two intrepid friends are starting to look rather like pincushions. Makes me wince whenever they fall over, because you know at least one of those needles just got shoved into them. Not that it ever amounts to anything.

So Naruto faints from exhaustion, Haku tries to finish him off and Sasuke gets in the way. He gets some actually sad final words and Naruto loses his fudge and gets ready to end fucking everything. The power sealed in explodes outward and everyone notices it.

On that note, boy, Zabuza sure did spend a lot of time with his sword stuck in Kakashi if we have to judge from how long passed between the scream and us getting back to them.

But anyway, Naruto goes berserk and absolutely ruins Haku, stopping short of killing him only because he recognizes him as the cute crossdresser from the woods. They exchange words and Haku tells his backstory. It's a genuinely sad tale about prejudice, hate, exclusion and finding a place in the world to belong. Finally, feeling that he is now useless again, Haku encourages Naruto to kill him. But before out blond ninja can euthanize him, let's go back to Kakashi and Zabuza.

So Kakashi got hurt, but that allows him to do a little dance routine with a scroll of paper to summon dogs to hold Zabuza still. Then he charges up his lightning hands and gets ready to fingerbang Zabuza in the heart with the power of Zeus.

Haku sensing this decides he has one last use left in his life, taking the blown and attempting to hold Kakashi still while Zabuza finishes him off. While he succeeds at the former, Kakashi gets away with his body before Zabuza can kill him.

And thus dies Haku. Its a rather sad tale.

Meanwhile, Inari runs around trying to gather an army, but no one dares fight Gato. Still, his words strikes a chord and later when he prepares to go off on his own armed with a crossbow, the villagers show up to help.

Back on the bridge, Sakura sees Sasuke and freaks out. Tazuna thinks some encouraging words. Wish he'd say them instead.

And while that is going on, Zabuza is getting his shit kicked in by Kakashi. It's seriously embarrassing. Like, we cut back, and Zabuza has already broken an arm off-screen. And then Kakashi bitchslaps him away. It's like, now that his role as villain is over, Zabuza has gone from a complete menace to some jobber getting slapped around before the main event. Honestly, kinda disrespectful to his character. And then Kakashi breaks the other arm.

Then Gato shows up with an army of misfit goons, because he's tired of how shit's going down. Then he kicks Haku, which triggers Naruto. Zabuza says he didn't care about Haku, using him only as a tool, which causes Naruto to yell at him.

And then Zabuza cries, Naruto's words cutting deep.

Sure. We'll go with that.

So then he charges Gato armed only with a kunai in his mouth, cutting through Gato's army and killing the lil' guy himself after delivering a chilling speech about Hell. It's all kinds of awesome.

Then the rest of the villagers show up, scaring off what goons remain. Personally, I think they should have shown up a little earlier, so that they could have part in the showdown with Gato, since all this build up was for them to stop letting their fear of the guy control him. But that's just my opinion.

With everything resolved, Kakashi drags a dying Zabuza to Haku's body, so he can see him one last time before he dies. Between the music, cinematography and dialogue, this scene genuinely got me misty-eyed. There's only one stupid line from Naruto that doesn't work. This truly does feel sad and I gotta hand it to the anime for pulling that off.

Also, Sasuke is miraculously alive. I guess Sakura forgot to check his pulse before deciding to cry all over him. Yes, yes, I get it, she was distraught, but really, that should be the first thing they checked.

Zabuza and Haku get buried and our protagonists leaves.

Anyway, the bridge also got finished. Which is surprising considering that bridges of the type we see here, spanning quite the distance across the ocean, takes quite a fucking long time to make. I guess they've been away for a couple of years and nobody told us. And then it's named the Great Naruto Brudge.

Go fuck yourself, Tazuna.

Seriously, okay, great, Naruto helped. So did everyone else, including Sakura, who was babysitting your sorry ass while you were being hunted by a hulking ninja wielding a steel girder sizes kill-blade. Not to mention Kakashi, who fought Zabuza, and Sasuke, who took a bullet(Well, handful of needles) for his comrade. And of course, let's not forget Kaiza, who was oh so important some episodes ago.

But no. All credit goes to Naruto. What a cop out.

Anyway, while these episodes have some legendarily great moments, from Haku's past to Zabuza's final moments, they're also hindered by several issues. First of all, they were spread out over too many episodes. There's too much faffing about and “Last time on Naruto,” which kills the pacing at times.

Secondly, Naruto makes some truly stupid mistakes that really makes it hard to believe he's got what it takes to be a ninja, much less the hokage.

And thirdly, despite having a technically important role, Sakura gets to do nothing. This is a shame, as the previous episodes have established that she is quite skilled in her own way. But since her job is to guard Tazuna and the camera would rather focus on the epic action, she just felt put on the sideline. At least she still did something, I guess, but Sakura by this point really needs opportunities to shine.

Givenea

Let’s see. Zabuza is a big threat until he isn’t, then Kakashi just slaps him about. There’s also this weird moment where we’ve cut to Naruto, Sasuke and Haku for a long conversation then cut back, and Zabuza and Kakashi has apparently just been standing there for several minutes. We get Haku’s backstory, it’s genuinely touching. Then Gato shows up with a bunch of goons. Team 7, the villagers and Zabuza team up to defeat him. Everyone is happy, except for Haku, Zabuza and Gato who’re all dead. Zabuza’s death scene was pretty touching though.

Also the bridge is named The Great Naruto Bridge, because fuck everyone else.

I have so much to say about this episode.

Let’s start with tying a nice big bow on Naruto and Inari’s relationship. There are two scenes to carry in mind for this.

First, Naruto saves Inari and his mother Tsunami from some goons Gato send to kidnap one of them for some reason. Inari starts crying (can’t blame him) but tries to stop himself. Naruto tells him that there’s nothing wrong with it as he’s being happy and that’s fine.

Ok, so tears of happiness are fine, got it. Crying can happen due to just about any strong emotion and is a healthy outlet of such thing, but this seems to be the thesis we’re going with.

Inari then fetches the villagers to go scare of the last of Gato’s goons, good for them.

The second scene to bear in mind comes as the episode is ending when Kakashi and team is saying goodbye. Inari is trying not to cry, and Naruto tells him it’s ok to do so. Then we see that Naruto too is bawling his eyes out, and I agree with Sakura here… this is really damn stupid.

The lesson is apparently that it is only ok to cry if you doing so helps make Naruto look good… I don’t think I have a middle finger big enough, to express just how far this show can shove that idea.

So, let me moan and complain about the bridge instead. See, there is a Great Naruto Bridge in real life Japan. It lies in continuation of The Small Naruto bridge and crosses the Naruto strait. Now I was not able to find anything on how long it took to build The Great Naruto Bridge. I was however able to find something on the New Little Belt Bridge here in Denmark.

Let’s compare bridges:

New Little Belt Bridge:

Suspension bridge.

Length: 1700 meters.

Width: 31.2 meters.

Time under construction: 5 years (1965-1970)

Great Naruto Brigde:

Suspension bridge.

Length: 1629 meters.

Width: 25 meters.

Time under construction: no idea

Now, The New Little Belt Bridge is slightly bigger than The Great Naruto Bridge, but I don’t think it is completely crazy to say they could be constructed within a similar time span. And from the view the show gives us of the damn thing, we can conclude a few things:

The bridge is a suspension bridge. This can be seen from the general design when people are working on it in episode 11

It is almost finished. When Zabuza and Haku arrived in episode 12 you can see that the bridge is very close to reaching shore.

At the end of the ark it is done. The team walks home over the bridge, it kinda must be done for that.

From the scenes in episode 11 where Giichi quits we can see that keeping workers is hard.

From the scene in episode 11 where Sakura and Tazuna goes shopping we can see that resources are tight.

Also, according to the tale of Kaiza in episode 11, Kaiza arrived 3 years prior and Gatö arrived about a year prior to the events of the ark according to Tazuna’s explanation as they sail under the bridge in episode 7.

So with these facts in mind, time to make some assumptions:

With the difficulty of keeping workers and the lack of resources it is assumable that the progress on building the bridge has been pretty much halted in the year Gatö has been there.

The bridge could not have been built response to Gatö’s takeover, as construction would have to have started 4 years prior to his arrival.

Again, with the lack of resources and workers, it is assumable finishing the bridge would take longer than anticipated.

We are gonna assume for the need of simplicity that it takes equally long to build a meter on any part of the bridge and that the short distance we can see is 50 meters long. We are also gonna assume that The Great Naruto Bridge of the show is the same size as The Great Naruto Bridge in Japan. That means that under normal conditions it should take Tazuna and a full crew 56 days or almost two months to finish the bridge.

Now Tazuna does not have normal conditions, he has, if nothing else, to bring in more workers and figure out how to pay their wages. But let say he manages all that he needs to quickly. In that case the ninjas could maybe be home after something like 5 months after heading out…

But see… here’s the thing, as far as I could understand. The bridge is supposed to have been built in response to Gatõ. Tazuna supposedly finished a five-year project in about a year, with barely any money, few workers and a sadistic, dictatorial business tycoon breathing down his neck.

I don’t think I have to explain how impossible that is.

Here are the links for the pages I used to look up the bridges:

https://www.japanhoppers.com/en/shikoku/naruto/kanko/662/

https://da.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilleb%C3%A6ltsbroen_(1970)

http://www.vejdirektoratet.dk/DA/viden_og_data/statens-veje/broer/Sider/Lilleb%C3%A6ltsbroen.aspx

Fluttersniper13

I'll keep this brief. Goons blow up wall, Inari's an idiot, Naruto is an idiot. On the bridge, Sakura does nothing. Sasuke does something. Kakashi is being cool. Silent killer isn't being silent again. Haku is cool. Naruto comes in, is a mororn. Things go downhill. Ends with a relatively touching scene, which Naruto ruins. Good job, show.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13125294/9/Naruto-Rewrite-1-Road-to-Ninja

#naruto #naruto rewrite #review

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queensofrap · 7 years

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The Year of Cardi B - She went from stripping to becoming the breakout star of 2017. So what's she worried about?

Cardi B is butt-naked in the doorway of her hotel bathroom, yelling about her vagina. On a mid-October evening, she's readying herself for a college show in Baltimore, and the toiletries provided by the hotel aren't to her liking. "That soap gave me the yeast infection of 2017!" she hollers in her thick Bronx accent. "My pussy was burnin' like a Mexican taco!"

It takes all of 10 seconds in Cardi B's presence to be reminded of the sheer force and hilarity of her personality. Simply being Cardi B, at maximum volume, made her a star – first on Instagram, then on the VH1 reality show Love & Hip-Hop: New York – before she'd recorded any music at all, let alone knocked Taylor Swift from the top of the pop charts with the sly swagger of her single "Bodak Yellow." She is the people's diva – or "the strip-club Mariah Carey," as she once rapped – unfiltered in a way the world often doesn't allow female stars to be. In a culture reshaped by streaming and social media, where the kids, without much corporate nudging, get to decide who the stars are, Cardi B is what you get.

Yesterday, Cardi turned 25.  She took a rare day off, hanging  with her entire family – sister, parents, cousins – at her mother's house. But she missed her boyfriend (now fiancé), Offset of Migos, who was touring in Australia. "I was sad, because it's like, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm not getting no dick on my birthday,'" says Cardi, whose bedazzled acrylic nails are decorated with tiny reproductions of Offset paparazzi shots. "But I wasn't going to get dick on my birthday anyway, because I got my period."

She finds a cleanser she can deal with and hops into the shower, before slipping into a bright-red spacesuit-inspired Milano di Rouge jumpsuit, complete with a yellow patch that reads "Safe sex saves lives," part of the designer's anti-HIV initiative. She glances at it and arches her eyebrows. "Girl," she says, "I don't even use a condom."

It may not seem like it, but this is actually a newer, more cautious Cardi B. After a few social-media controversies – including when she was justly called out for a since-deleted tweet that referred to Kim Jong Un as "Won Tung Soup" – she is trying to learn to hold back a bit. "I used to tell myself that I will always be myself," she says. But she worries that she's going back on that vow. "Little by little, I'm feeling like I'm getting trapped and muted."

Her life is changing fast. She put out her first mixtape, Gangsta Bitch Music, Vol. 1, in March last year, back when she was still Love & Hip-Hop's breakout star. It was a gloriously raw and raunchy introduction that cashed in on her TV catchphrases with songs like "Washpoppin'" and "Foreva." She released Vol. 2 in January this year, five months before announcing a major-label contract with Atlantic Records.

In June came "Bodak Yellow," named in homage to Florida rapper Kodak Black, whose song "No Flockin'" inspired its flow. "Bodak Yellow" is an unlikely Number One: a tough trap song with zero concessions to the mainstream, or even anything like a conventional pop hook. In a year when the youth power of streaming services, which now count toward chart positions, is changing the very meaning of pop, she's become the first female rapper to score a solo Number One since Lauryn Hill in 1998. Not bad for someone who initially pursued rapping as a way to monetize her reality fame. ("I said, 'TV don't make you rich,'" recalls her manager, Shaft, who once produced Lil' Kim. "'You gotta sell something! Waist trainers, hair, something.'")

The pressure is building. Her once-carefree social-media presence has drifted toward moody reflections about the downsides of fame. She's stressed about creating a debut album – the very word "album" makes her wince – that can live up to "Bodak Yellow" and the best of her mixtape tracks, not to mention the challenge of creating singles that can keep her on the charts and avoid one-hit-wonderdom. There is a chorus of doubters in her head, she acknowledges, and it sounds something like this: "Can she make another hit, can she make another hit?"

She fears failure, and paints a vivid picture of what it might look like: "If you go broke and lose your career, it's bad – and everybody is talkin' shit about it! At least if you lose your 9-to-5 you don't got millions of people judging you and talking shit while you lost your job."

Seven years ago, Cardi B was convinced she'd already failed at life. To please her mom, she was studying at a Manhattan community college with plans to become a history teacher. Born Belcalis Almanzar, she'd grown up in the Bronx's Highbridge neighborhood, and she was struggling to survive financially on her own. "It was just very sad," she says, uncharacteristically subdued. She's in the back seat of a black SUV on her way to a performance at Baltimore's Morgan State University, and the college setting is bringing back memories. "It was very frustrating – you have to pay for everything. When I finally got a job at Amish Market, I had to debate, 'Do I wanna go to class or do I wanna finish my shift?'"

She dropped out after two semesters, and soon took up stripping – a career move helpfully suggested by her Amish Market boss. "A lot of people wonder, 'Why would anybody want to be a dancer?'" she says. "Because there's money!" She used some of her stripping cash to briefly return to school. "I kept missing classes," she says, "and quit because I felt like I was already failing. It was such a disappointment."

Her strict Trinidadian mother worked seven days a week at a local college; her Dominican father, who separated from her mom when Cardi was 13, was "the cool parent," she says. For Cardi, his experience doing "different things in the streets" was a cautionary tale. "That's why I be so careful with my money and always try to invest. I see people who have it all and then lose it."

As a kid, Cardi had a sense that she was destined to do something creative, which led her to a performing-arts school on the Bronx's east side. She tried acting and singing (though she was convinced all of her classmates were better), wrote some poetry. But she'd also crack up friends and boyfriends by rewriting songs by, say, Beyoncé to make them "waaay sluttier." That hobby caught Shaft's attention years later, leading him to encourage her to pursue rapping seriously.

Until then, Cardi B relied on her abilities to charm and to hustle to pay the bills. And it worked: She quickly broke 100,000 Instagram followers in her strip-club days, expanding outward from her loyal customers, mostly on the strength of playful videos – "sucking dick" and scamming men were favored topics.

After Shaft suggested rapping, he began making beats for her at home, and helped her find a lyrical voice that matched the charm of her delivery.

But Cardi – who calls herself "a negative person" – had to overcome her own skepticism. She thought hard about her subject matter (her first single: "Stripper Hoe"), determined to defy haters "expecting me to drop something trash. It just made me, like, 'Aha, I gotta study these other rappers,'" she says. "Study how to do something different from them. You know all these female rappers, they talking about they money, they talking about they cars, so it's like, what's something that I enjoy? I enjoy fights!"

A few hours after the show, Cardi B is back in her hotel room, still wearing her red jumpsuit. She's curled up in the bed, blankets piled on top of her, talking about the future in a tone that's almost resigned. "I cannot turn my life back around," she muses. "I'm already a public figure, I'm famous. … It's like, I might as well keep it going, might as well make the money. People are always going to talk shit – I cannot make myself unfamous."

She's faced an impressively varied set of criticisms and unsolicited opinions. She's been accused of not being a real lyricist ("I'm not trying to be"); of somehow "not being black" because of her Latina heritage and light skin ("It gets to the point that you ask yourself, 'Damn, what the fuck am I?'"); of sleeping her way to the top ("I always had sex appeal – and niggas still give me a hard time"). The rapper Azealia Banks has quarreled with her, but Cardi B has tried hard not to play into the narrative that female rappers can't get along. "It's not even the female rappers that are catty, it's the fans," she says. "They just want that beef."

Her in-progress album is never far from her thoughts. "I got six, seven solid songs that I like, but I wonder if a month from now, I'm going to change my mind." All the looming expectations, she admits, are making it harder to come up with songs. "It's not as fun to do music," she says. "My mind doesn't flow as free 'cause I have so much on my mind."

She's aiming to mix the Spanish and reggae music of her youth with the trap sound that's inescapable at the moment, putting in late nights with her "Bodak Yellow" producer, J. White, and dancehall specialist Rvssian. She freely acknowledges she's chasing hits. "It's so sad to say, and I don't want to be the one to say it, but you gotta follow the trend," she says. "This generation loves to get high. They love to be on drugs. This is why they on that shit: They don't want to think about what you're saying."

She cites Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole as rappers who still write brilliant, conscious lyrics – some part of her might want to try to follow suit, but she feels like she couldn't get away with it. "A bitch like me, it might not work out for me," she says, "so I'm going to stick to trapping."

It's barely past midnight in Cardi's hotel room, and she is already exhausted. "I'm an old-ass girl now," she says with a sigh, head on a pillow. For all her outrageousness – she finished her show tonight by hopping offstage and twerking in the audience – she's not much of a partier. She stopped smoking weed at 21 because it interfered with her increasing fame and accompanying schedule. She had taken Molly as a confidence booster before stripping but doesn't need it anymore. She rarely drinks. "If I drink," she says, "it's like, my man is gonna be around, and I'm gonna have sex."

She's been with Offset since a chance meeting with him in New York in February – just after Migos scored their own Number One with "Bad and Boujee." "We polish each other," she says, noting they confer on music-biz questions. "I could always ask him, 'Do you think this is OK to do? Do you think I'm getting tricked?'"

She hasn’t been shy about the ups and downs in her relationship with Offset, like the night in October when she seemed to break up and make up with him on Instagram in the course of several hours. She also hasn’t been shy about her intentions to marry him — and, a few days before Halloween, Offset made her dreams come true, popping the question at a Philly concert with a raindrop-shaped ring. She knows she wants to have a family. "I need to make money for my family and my future family," she says. "I'm not a YOLO person. I think 25 years from now. I think about my future kids, future husband, future house."

And where exactly will she be in 25 years? She smiles dreamily, and says, "I see myself cursin' at my kids."

#cardi b #rap #rolling stone magazine #hiphop #hip hop #female rapper #female rap #rapper

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lucky-clover-gazette · 6 years

Text

season 4 first watch impressions

under the cut are my thoughts and my new overall series episode ranking (spoilers)

ep1 - uss callister

- by far my favorite of the season

- a perfect blend of comedy and tragedy

- i would have loved this as a full movie

- honestly nanette is amazing, like she owns her smarts and sexuality and never gives up i love her

- male coder: “it won’t work, i’ve already tried”

nanette: “well i haven’t” HELL YEAH

- i honestly loved all the ‘crew’ characters, even the gym rat boss

- i especially enjoyed the speech from the boss to robert, where he’s like ‘i acknowledge that i was an ass, but dude, YOU PUSHED MY SON OUT AN AIRLOCK’

- also the fuckin casual dialogue between the monster and bad guy and the crew

- OHHH BOY AND THE FACT THAT ROBERT’S GONNA ROT TO DEATH IN HIS APARTMENT BECAUSE HE PUT ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ ON HIS APARTMENT DOOR, HELL YEAH

- ‘oh my fuck’

- 10/10, watch it now

ep2 - arkangel

- preface: the kid playing young owen teague and his family were actually really close with my family when he and my little sister were kids. it was goddamn surreal to see that lil guy talking about porn when i remember him being, like, eight. but nice going nick, keep kicking ass lil dude

- okay so this episode was... conflicting

- the opener made sense, but in some ways i thought it was TOO obvious and indicative of the episode’s message and tone. i can’t help but wonder if it would have been better just starting like five minutes in

- her father looked like counselor healy from orange is the new black, so that was distracting

- okay jesus christ lady, i get that losing your kid is scary, but implanting her with ‘optional’ optic spying and censoring software is such a massive violation of her privacy. like, it’s one thing when she’s tiny, but how the hell are you going to feel okay with yourself as a parent when she’s an adolescent?

- the blocking especially pissed me off. that’s so fucking dangerous. either this woman is just very stupid, or very desperate

- at least the narrative established that it kind of was the latter. when her father gets sick, the mother has to care both for both her father and her child. that’s a lot. but still not an excuse for such mental violation of a quickly-growing human being

- young edgelord and sara are fucking adorable

- sara’s self-harm and rage issues are not, however,, and i’m glad that her mother took her head out of her ass and ditched the tablet

- is it just me or is fifteen-year-old sara kind of an idiot? like i get it she’s grunge and artsy, and i loved her giving a treat to the dog, but she seems to be almost hanging out with owen teague because he deals, and not despite it. like i get that i’m supposed to buy that their romance has kind of a subtext of him ‘teaching’ her about things, but like the underage sex and coke are kinda yikes. i feel like he definitely should have had more restraint, and although what the mother does is royally fucked, he and sara are also both to blame

- all right, so the smoothie motif. what a great narrative tool. the miscarriage pill was the most clever part of the episode. sara’s reaction was very well-acted, and the standoff between her and her mother was intense as hell

- i liked that sara’s rage issues remained into adolescence. i was glad that the tablet got wreckt, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been more effective to have her rage-smash it prior to her mother coming come, leaving the pieces for her to find. the actual beating up of the mother with the tablet seemed to literal, too much sinking in the message. there were moments in crocodile and hang the dj that were the same way.

- the ending, with sara hitchhiking in some stranger’s truck, was very smart. the ambiguity of a young girl, on her own, hopping in some stranger’s vehicle, is powerful without much explanation. any parent would be horrified by this; that’s what i don’t think we actually needed to see the mother screaming sara’s name and bleeding to understand the horror of losing a child to the unknown

- this one definitely gives me the most complicated feelings of the season; on one hand, it had a lot of great devices going for it. on the other hand, it was over-written and at times trying too hard to be ‘black mirror.’ the grey morality and ambiguous ending reminded me of a literary short story, which i love in my TV.

- 7/10, watch it if you liked most black mirror episodes that weren’t san junipero

ep3 - crocodile

- ah yes, the ‘i watch black mirror to be fuckin ashamed of humanity’ episode

- idk man, i liked it. it was bleak, and fucked up, but i’m all about that downward spiral. i liked that the story kind of began in three different places and then tied together. just as i had with ‘hated in the nation,’ i love police procedural stuff

- also damn, it was freaky as hell to see the straight-laced white blonde soccer-mom type being a despicable murdering sociopath!!! like, gotta go kill an entire family of POC, including a goddamn INFANT, and then see my kid’s show, that’s great. i was so happy when she got what she deserved.

- all right, so i had one MAJOR PROBLEM with this episode: why the fuck did they make the son blind? the guinea pig twist was so GOOD, and mia fuckin killed a BABY, they didn’t need to further modify that!!! this is another example of black mirror doing just a tad more than it needs to make the audience feel horrible.

- okay black mirror, we get it, that song is your thing, but can you maybe slide it in as a less glaring easter egg?

- 8/10, but only if you’re into dark shit and bad endings

ep4 - hang the dj

- not nearly gay enough

- seriously, the entire episode i was unable to focus on the main characters because i kept looking around this Tinder-esque 20′s dating paradise and saw ZERO GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES. i’m so surprised by this, especially after ‘san junipero.’ at first i was like, maybe this is like society’s way of encouraging procreation because of population decline, but that wasn’t the twist at all. no reason for nearly everyone to be hetero

- THAT BEING SAID, i see you. bi amy. even before the girl partner, i was aware that she used ‘they/them’ pronouns when referring to hypothetical partners. i just wish we could have seen more gay couples in the background (for example, at the choosing ceremony thing, it coulda been two dudes of something)

- uh okay, so everyone loved this episode, and it was okay. some of the banter and jokes were funny and relatable, but honestly, this wasn’t *that* good. the plot wasn’t super original (reminded me a lot of ep1 of hulu’s ‘dimension 404′) and the execution was kind of suuuuuuper basic. like, black suited Enforcers with tasers? a massive matrix wall? the whole thing seemed so predictable and just... basic as hell.

- but shit man, amy was cool. loved that character in a vacuum.

- honestly if someone could explain the reasons for loving this episode, i’d like to hear them. because i just don’t get it, man. maybe it’s because i’m gay, or young, or single, or unexperienced... but i just wasn’t very impressed

- 6/10, not even fuckin close to ‘san junipero’ lmao

ep5 - metalhead

- black and white seemed sort of pretentious, not gonna lie. i think i would have preferred the dirty palette of ‘white bear’ post-apocalypse

- i am all for these female protagonists this season. hell yeah

- soo those corpses in the bed were heavy, but i actually kind of wish we got to see more of that? like, the remains of humanity after the dogs attacked? also, more small explanations for the dogs’ attack would have been interesting

- loved the chase and fight scenes. i can see how they’d be boring, but the moments of conflict between man v. machine were fucking awesome

- K N I F E D O G

- anyone else get serious farenheit 451 vibes?

- the teddy bear thing was dumb. i don’t think we needed to see what was inside the warehouse. yet another time black mirror threw in just a little more than we needed

- okay so belle keeps alluding to the fact that she has safe family members out there somewhere, so am i to believe that there is some place where humans are safe from dogs? if so, why the actual fuck did she leave? i can’t believe it was just because of fuckin teddy bears

- alllllll the david lynch vibes

- 7/10, but you gotta actually pay attention to the visual details to get the best parts

ep6 - black museum

- BOOOOYYYYYYY! this entire episode i waited for the fuckin shoe to drop and then SHE! DID! THAT!

- the amount of callbacks to previous episodes was,, nice,, but also it was kind of annoying??? and unnecessary?

- the museum owner was reaaaaaalllly annoying, which is think was intentional. what a fuckin sleaze. in comparison, i thought that jon hamm in ‘white christmas’ was still a somewhat charismatic narrator, but this dude was just yikes

- so, the first story was... kind of a lazy reach? idk, it just felt kinda like a parody of black mirror itself. i get the entire ‘mad science’ vibe they were trying to evoke, but as opposed to the next story, this one had very little to say about human nature. black mirror works its best when it tells stories that use technology as a way to analyze humanity; this one really didn’t (we all already know we’ve got weird kinks)

- the second story was better, but, like, SUPER heartbreaking. poor carrie. i don’t think her husband should have done The Thing at all, honestly, I don’t believe that he couldn’t have seen what happened next coming. it’s like the arkangel mom again; either these characters are just SUPER present-oriented, or just fuckin dumb

- the most tragic moment in this season was ‘monkey needs a hug.’ i felt nauseous

- okay, now for THE TWIST! the accent drop was a great touch, and i loved that she was poisoning him the entire time. also fuck white men and supremacists, and fuck the museum dude for enabling them.

- the ending was great. i liked that her mom was chillin with her. the building blowing up was very tarantino. loved her a lot

- 8.5/10, boring in the beginning but the end is worth it

and now..

BLACK MIRROR EPISODES RANKED (AS OF SEASON 4)

1. U.S.S. Callister

2. Nosedive

3. Hated in the Nation

4. San Junipero

5. Fifteen Million Merits

6. Be Right Back

7. White Bear

8. White Christmas

9. Black Museum

10. Crocodile

11. Arkangel

12. Metalhead

13. Hang the DJ

14. Playtest

15. The Entire History of You

16. Men Against Fire

17. Shut Up and Dance

18. The National Anthem

19. The Waldo Moment

#black mirror #black mirror s4 #sam reviews #uss callister #arkangel #crocodile #hang the dj #metalhead #black museum #bm

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