#and stop putting elain as second best because that is not what we see

[freepandahugs]

i was thinking and i would like to add my grain of salt onto the mor/elain thingy regarding azriel's feelings towards the both of them, because apparently some people love to keep bringing this up. i will go book by book:

ACOTAR: we literally don't know of the existence of these characters

ACOMAF: we are introduced to them, az's crush on mor is set up, mor states that no matter how much of a crush he has on her he has never and probably will never do anything about it. we get some glimpces of azriel being infatuated with mor but that's about it. mor states she has no interest in him but doesn't know how to reject him.

regarding elain, he barely knows her. they meet halfway through the book and get along well. elain is at ease with azriel around and azriel waxes poetics about flying because she asks. we can assume there were some off-page meetings because of the letters they were sending the queens but that's assumptions. elain gets turned into fae.

ACOWAR: azriel starts being attentive of elain, he pays enough attention to her to be able to figure out she's a seer. spends time with her in the gardens and seems relaxed around her (aka him sprawled on the garden chairs sunning his wings). we have the moment where she calls his hands beautiful and he BLUSHES. azriel starts initiating physical contact with elain. azriel goes on a literal suicidal mission to save elain. elain does what she can to help azriel in order to escape the hybern camp. the truthteller scene and then elain appearing out of thin air to kill the king of hybern.

we get feyre, the mc of the book, questioning elucien's bond.

azriel is shown to be exasperated with mor sleeping around, not reacting outwardly but instead WALKING AWAY from her. mor is hurt by rhys and azriel making deals with keir. we learn that mor is bisexual but leans more towards women.

ACOFAS: mor gives azriel a solstice present that he barely reacts to. we don't have much in page interaction, if any. mor is going to the continent.

azriel helps elain carry the potatoes to the table, elain becomes self conscious about her appearence and goes to clean up a little. azriel makes everyone wait for her before eating. azriel looking out windows into the garden (a place elain usually frequents). elain gifts azriel the headache powder and he laughs so much that everyone seems surprised. "this will be invaluable"

unrelated to azriel but we also get elain show the first signs of not wanting lucien. not talking to him, getting annoyed with feyre for trying to make her interact with him. "i don't want a male", elain is probably still getting over graysen

ACOSF: mor is off to the continent for the vast majority of the book. cassian notices azriel doesn't react as much when mor is around and wonders why he would give up now.

azriel being protective of elain, reacting outwardly to mentions of her being upset (his shadows look like serpents ready to strike). we are reminded three times about azriel rescuing elain. we get a charged glance pass between them, witnessed by nesta. azriel can't be near lucien and elain because of the smell of the bond. bonus chapter happens around here and azriel stays away from elain for the rest of the book.

BONUS CHAPTER: (i will tackle this one separatedly because it's not part of the main book and a lot of people don't have access to it so i don't want to mix it up with the main story)

elain and azriel seek each other out to exchange gifts. azriel buys elain a necklace that reminds him of her. we learn he has been thinking and pleasuring himself to the thought of elain for the past year, he can hardly sleep nowadays. sexual tension, both elain and azriel are aroused. azriel wants to have sex with elain and also wants to eat her out. they almost kiss. azriel says that the encounter was a mistake and elain is hurt. rhysand orders azriel to stay away. azriel is questioning the cauldron. elain gives the necklace back, and azriel gives it away because he can't stand keeping it. azriel keeps away from this point on.

rhysand asks azriel "what about mor?" and azriel doesn't answer.

-----

i would like to point out, out of the 5 books, there's only 3 in which mor and azriel are physically in the same territory, and only 2 in which they interact more than just one or two lines. out of those 2 books, azriel doesn't know elain for the most part of the first one and then pays a lot of attention to her in the other one.

obviously azriel did like mor, but it doesn't seem like that anymore. and more importantly, we never get azriel talking about his crush on her nor does he acknowledge it, it's always everyone else (a bunch of busybodies) so personally i take their words with a pinch of salt.

mor is not a point of comparison in whatever petty fights people want to start.

(if i have to be honest, my personal theory is that azriel never told anyone he moved on from mor a long time ago to keep the status quo until mor is ready to come out to her family. everyone already knows mor is not interested in azriel and that's why she rejects him, if he were to give up and some other guy came along, everyone would question why she doesn't want him. he's the spymaster and he knows how to keep secrets, i would be surprised if he honestly didn't know about mor liking women. but that's me)

#elriel #elain #azriel #moriel #mor #pro elriel #stop messing with mor #and stop putting elain as second best because that is not what we see

[harrystylesfan2686]

Pieces Part 2

Pairing: Azriel x Reader.

Summary: You finally confront Azriel about your feelings which ends in huge argument.

A/N: thank you to everyone who read and loved Pieces. I tried my best to make Azriel up to your expectations. I hope you all like this!

Pieces Masterlist

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I stopped making efforts with Azriel.

I stopped talking to him. Stopped waking up with him to wish him goodbye at the door. Stopped asking him about his day at dinner. Even stopped waiting for him to eat. I make our lunch, eat and get out of the house. Walking until I'm sure he's gone again. Come home make dinner, eat and sleep without waiting for him.

I accepted the fact that he doesn't want me anymore.

He still kisses me goodbye though.

So I guess there is still hope but I don't want it.

I open my eyes and glance to Azriel's empty bedside. I rub my eyes, already feeling tired even though I just started my day. I havn't been getting good enough sleep lately, staying up almost every night, rethinking everything over and over again. And when I do get sleep, it's always dreamless. I always feel like I fell alseep just a minute ago. I sit up on my bed to find a note on the bedside.

Dinner at Rhys tonight.

Four plain words in Azriel's handwriting. He didn't even sign it with his name. I sigh and get up from bed. I don't want to face anyone right now. I'm too tired to put on an act of being happy. Well at least I won't have to make food.

My throat feels scratchy. I warm up a little water to relieve the soreness but it doesnt make any difference. I suddenly sneeze, covering my face and freeze after realization finally hits me. I'm sick. I groan.

Can this day get any worse?

-☆-

When we arrived at the river house, I conversed with everyone for a while, catching up on everything after not seeing any of them for so long.

Feyre complemented my dress and commented on how my face looks different. I laughed a little saying that's because she hadn't seen me in so long, hoping my smile and lie seemed real enough for her to not get suspicious.

When I sneezed and coughed again, she figured I was sick and scolded me a little for coming, saying I should've stayed home and rested. I shrugged at that.

When we sat down on the table, Azriel whispered to me,"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" To which I had kept looking away and answered,"You didn't ask." He didn't say anything else to me and neither did I to him. In fact I didn't talk to anyone much and only spoke when asked to do so the whole time.

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Azriel questioned when we walk into our house. I hang my coat on the coat stand and remove my shoes, taking my time answering him and finally say,"As I said before, you didn't ask."

"How was I supposed to know? And you didn't even spend much time with me. You went straight to Feyre, the second we entered and didn't talk to me at all the whole night." I could hear irritation in his voice which made me clench my jaw.

I took a deep breath,"I didn't realise you missed me so much considering you were glued to Elain all night." I spit out without looking at him and walk to our bedroom.

"What do you mean by that?" He follows me.

"Nothing." I sigh not wanting to have this argument right now but, of course, he doesn't care about that.

"No, tell me." He frowned.

"You talked to Elian all night so I thought, maybe I shouldn't disturb whatever conversation you must have going on." My lips thin as I look up at him.

"I had no choice but to talk to her because you didn't talk to me and and we were the only two people left alone." He said.

"Alright. But that was tonight. What about that other days and nights you spend with her? You like her. I get it. You don't need to explain yourself." My eyes fill with unwanted tears and I look away from him. I try to get away from him but he grabs my arm to keep me there.

"Yes, I like talking to her, but I would prefer to talk to you more." He says softly. I scoff.

"Don't lie az. Do us both a favor and accept it that you like her company better. I have." I snatch my arm back and try to walk away. He still follows me.

"No. I admit I like her company but no more than yours. You are more important." He stops in front of me.

"I don't believe that." A tear falls down my face. His eyes look into mine with confusion. "I watch you with her. How happy and content you look in her presence. Everyday you come home, speak barely two words to me and go back to her again." I fold my arms on my chest and look down. "You spend the time with her that youre suppose to spend with me. You tell her the things you should tell me. Your like her. More than me."

"That's not true. My love, I like you a lot more than her. You are the most important to me." His hand wips my tears and rests on my cheek. I rip it off me. "I don't believe you." I look at him with anger.

"You tell me Azriel, when was the last time you commented on my cooking? The last time you told how I looked? When was the last time you asked me how I was doing? When was the last time you held me? The last time you truly listened to me?" His expression falls in realisation, as my questions grow. "When was the last time you told you loved me and fucking meant it?!" I breath heavy, looking at his face tilted down, eyes cast down.

"I-," He clears his throat. "I did always meant when I said I loved you."

I turn to the other side. I can't look at him. I cover my eyes and try to focus on settling down my breathing. "I think you should leave." I whisper and turn to him again.

His head snaps to mine. "No! No. No. No. Don't push me away. Please." His voice cracks and a tear falls down his eyes. "Please give me a chance to fix this. Please don't push me away." His hands on either side of me and puts his forehead against mine, eyes looking into mine filled with tears and anguish.

"You pushed me away first." I whisper, gently taking his hands off of me and his face crumbles as more tears fall down. I cry with him.

"I just need time." I watch him nod silently, wiping his face clear with his hands while stepping away from me.

"Okay. I'll be in the house of wind. Please come to me when you're ready. I want to fix this. I don't want to let you go." I nod silently, not trusting my words.

I watch him nod again and go out of the door, leaving me alone in the house we bought together. Leaving me alone for my thoughts and memories to haunt me in the dead of the night. I'll be alright though. I'll take my time to think everything through. I'll heal myself then think about giving azriel a chance to heal us.

I just need time.

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Tags: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @crazylokonugget

#acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #acotar #azriel angst #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel #azriel x femalereader #pieces

[lalachat]

"And there you were..."

Author's note: I am starting to understand writers block... How does SJM and my fellow fic writers do this! This story was just a silly little thought i had in my head and now i'm writing thousands of words about it! My brain is running empty😭 But all of your love and support has made me want to keep writing! Luckily I popped some tunes on and one of my favorite songs came on! I encourage you to play it while you read this chapter because it what inspired it(hence the title)! It's called Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson! But I have a couple of ideas to get more plot in this story, both dramatic and smut. For now just sit back and enjoy this short relaxing blerb before we start to kick the heat up a bit! LOVE YA😙

Summary: You and Lucien wake up slow and have a nice breakfast over banana pancakes.

This is for all my Lucien girlies❤️

Warnings: the tension increases, flufffy fluff fluff, use of profanity, some typos

Word Count: ≈1,740, I’m sorry it’s not longer! I’ll make up for it later🫶

Chapter 3: "Banana Pancakes"

You were woken up by the sunlight peering in through Lucien’s bedroom window. However, you didn’t want to move. You looked up to see Lucien still peacefully asleep with his arms around you. You couldn’t help but smile at the male. His beauty was so unique compared to the others. Sure, Azriel was handsome, but Lucien was handsome in a different kind of way, and you loved him for it. After your conversations, you truly learned how much he was put through. No one recognizes his trauma or spares his problems a glance. He was put through just as much, if not more, as the others he’s surrounded by. You looked at the long scar on his face and frowned. How you wanted to take all the burdens he hides beneath the surface and put them on your shoulders. This male deserved so much better. Even after everything he has been through, he still puts himself last for anyone, especially Elain and Feyre. Hell, he was even here putting you first by offering you a comforting night. You don’t know how you survived without him as a friend the past couple of years. You are not letting him go again.  

You decided to be bold and reach out to cup his face and trace your thumb across his scar. Why couldn’t the mother have blessed you with someone as caring as him? Instead, you got Azriel who doesn't even spare you a glance. How are you supposed to feel comfortable telling him he's your mate if he won't look at you? You sigh and keep tracing Lucien's scar. Your fingers start to travel from his scar, to tracing along his jaw, and through a couple strands of hair. Your eyes follow every move your hand made. Your fingers start to move to his lips before you stop. His lips... you wondered what they would feel like against yours again.  

“Why did you stop?” You practically jump at the words as he looks up at you and smirks. 

“FUCK ME! Lucien, you scared the crap out of me! Don’t do that!” you swat his bare chest playfully, and he chuckles. Oh my god... his morning voice. The deep scratchiness of his chuckle had heat wanting to spread throughout your body. Gods you wanted to hear it again.  

“If the lady wishes, I will gladly fuck her, but how about some breakfast first?” he slowly started to get out of bed.  

Did you just hear that correctly? Was he joking or was he being serious? Before you could finish your questioning thoughts Lucien sensed your concentration on the matter. 

“Y/n I was just teasing you! Not about the breakfast part though, I am starving!”  

“Oh... okay. It just threw me through a loop for a second.” you smile as you wave your hands around.  

“my, my, my y/n... You seem a little disappointed.... OMG YOU WANT ME!” Lucien circled his finger around and booped your nose. 

“Ugh, as if!” as you got out of bed and stood next to him. You reached your arms above your head and stretched out your body from sleeping all night. “Man, that was the best sleep I have gotten in a while.” You looked up and smiled at Lucien, but his eyes were glazed over.  

While you were stretching you didn’t realize your shirt had come up a bit, giving Lucien a little show of your upper thighs. You looked at him again, “what?!” 

He shook his head, “Its nothing, I also slept soundly. Now, how about some breakfast?” and smiled at you.  

You followed Lucien to the kitchen. Eyes scanning over the muscles on his back, and gods, those slutty little gray sweatpants were not helping you stop your oogling.  

You finally reach the kitchen, and he turns around to ask, “So what are we craving this morning?” Your brain went down the gutter when he asked that question and it caused a giggle to escape your mouth. 

“What? What’s so funny about breakfast y/n? This is no joking matter!”  

“Right! Sorry... how about some pancakes and fruit?” 

“Sounds like a plan!” as he starts to grab all the ingredients and utensils you will need to make breakfast. “Would you like to cut the fruit while I start the batter?” 

“Sure!” as you grab the cutting board, knife, and a couple of fruits. You saw Lucien had picked out bananas. You start peeling all the bananas and place them on the cutting board to start cutting. As you cut the bananas you help but to snag a couple of slices. You sneak a couple more in your hand and walk over to Lucien making the batter. “Open!” you demand as you point to his mouth. He looks at you mischievously and does as he's told, never stopping his mixing of the batter. You pop a couple of banana slices in his mouth and smile at him.  

“Thank you,” he says with a mouth full of banana.  

“Chew with your mouth closed Lucien, no one wants to see that.” You laugh. He swallows and dips his finger in the batter and turns towards you. 

“Your turn!” you roll your eyes and open your mouth, only for Lucien to put it on your nose while chuckling. 

“Lucien, are you kidding me right now?!” 

“Sorry, I saw the opportunity and i took it. Here, let me help you.” he swipes the batter off your nose with his finger. You can feel his hot breath on your face, a hint of banana mixed in. “Open, for real this time. I promise.” Your brows furrow at him but you decide to trust him. You opened your mouth, and he placed the tip of his finger in letting you lick the batter off. You decided to get him back for all the teasing he’s done. You closed your eyes and moaned. Lucien’s body tensed at the sound as you sensually licked the rest of the batter off his finger and let it go with a pop.  

“That’s really good Lucien!” You smiled at him, knowing this time you were the one teasing him. You grabbed another dollop on your finger and really played up the innocence roll as you started to lick it off your own finger. Lucien’s eyes follow your every movement.  

“You are positively evil; you know that right?” he huffed and finished stirring the batter. 

“I do not know what you are talking about, I was just trying the batter...” you smirked and walked back over to finish cutting the bananas. Soon the kitchen started to smell like pancakes, and you started to realize how hungry you were. 

“Almost ready over here, did you get all the banana’s done?” Lucien asked as he flipped a pancake in the air.

“Sure did! Do you need me to do anything while you finish up flipping them?” 

“You can set the table and I'll bring everything over.” You nod at his answer and start to set the table with two pairs plates, silverware, napkins, cups, and lastly your freshly cut bananas you put in a bowl. Just as you placed the bananas, Lucien was right behind you with a stack of pancakes.  

“Oh, those look delicious! Do you have any syrup for the pancakes and juice to drink?” 

“Yeah, go look in the fridge! I'll start setting our plates.” You walk over to the fridge and open it to grab the syrup along with a bottle of apple juice. You walk back to the table, place the syrup down, and look to see Lucien had made you and him both plates. You smiled. 

“Thank you," as you decided to somewhat return the favor by filling up his glass with juice. You bend over slightly and pour the juice in his cup. Lucien's cheeks flush at the sight of you bent over, giving him a clear view of your cleavage due to how loose his shirt hung on you. He picks up his glass and takes a sip after you're done serving him.  

He coughs and says, “Thank you.” Trying to hide the ever growing blush on his face.

“You’re welcome.” You walk back to your spot across him, pour you a glass of juice, and start cutting into your food. You both sat there and enjoyed breakfast. Casually giving each other compliments about the food. You swear after this morning you had a new favorite breakfast food, banana pancakes. They will always remind you of this past night and morning with your friend. You smiled at Lucien as you both had finished. “That was lovely!” 

“Yes, it was, we should do this more often. I have missed you.” 

“Awe, ladies and gentlemales, the Lucien Vanserra missed y/n y/l/n!” 

“Way to ruin the moment y/n,” Lucien said with an eyeroll, and you chuckled. 

“You know I miss you too Lu, but I should probably get going. I’m sure mother Rhys is worried sick about me.” You laughed.  

“Most likely, here let me get you a bag for your dress and a pair of pants.” He walks away to get them for you. He comes back not a moment later with a bag and a baggy pair of old pants “Those should fit you! I believe you left them at my place a long time ago!” your cheeks burn at the thought of why you left them. One of your previous little rendezvous nights.

“Oh my god I have been looking for these for so long! Thank you.” you say as you took both items from his hands. You place your dress in the bag and walk to the bathroom to put your old pants on. You can’t believe he has kept them all this time. He could have easily tossed them out but didn't. "That's sweet of him," you thought. You walk back out and grab everything you came with and turn towards Lucien waiting for you by the door.  

“Thank you for everything you have done for me, it means a lot. I will give your shirt back the next time I see you.” You smile at him.  

“Keep it, it looks better on you anyways,” he winks, “I will see you next time then?” 

“Till next time Lu!” You smile as you give him a hug. He wraps his arms around you and places his chin on the top of your head. 

“Till next time doll!” as he places a soft kiss atop your head. You both let go and wave at each other as you make your way back to the Town House knowing an anxiety driven Rhysand and an overly excited Mor await you.  

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Tags:

@thelov3lybookworm @justdreamstars @character---obsessed @stained-glass-eyes0708 @acourtofbooksandshadows @sourapplex @annaaaaa88 @fides25 @b0xerdancer

[acourtofthought]

HAVE YOU READ THE BONUS CHAPTER!? I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS!

Bonus Chapter Spoilers Ahead in regards to the ACOTAR characters:

I think the bonus really highlighted the friendship that seems to continue building between Az and Nesta. In it we see Az apologize for his snapping at her which is a big deal for his character as he's one to usually sulk and brood rather than owning up to his behavior. And I think that's all very important when you consider Gwyn and Nesta are best friends (along with Emerie) and Cassian and Az are best friends. So a relationship between Gwynriel with a beautiful friendship between Nesta and Az is a pretty perfect setup.

I also think it shows Az and Nesta still haven't fully learned their lesson about undermining Elain considering Nesta talks of how she and her sister were made fae by the King and Az immediately follows that up with how the king was defeated and Nesta beheaded him, with Nesta responding how he had it coming.

No shade to Nesta but she continues telling this story on repeat whenever it's brought up as if she did something brag worthy on her own when it's being conveniently left out that she owes Elain her own and Cassian's life. How seconds before Nesta beheaded him, Elain stopped him from killing them by putting a blade through his throat, making it possible for Nesta to behead him.

It's fine for them to claim Nesta stopped him from taking another breath but it's not fine for them to act like she did something dangerous or heroic or difficult. I used this metaphor before but it's like my husband taking a cake out of the oven once the timer goes off and him taking credit for baking it even though I spent 30 minutes mixing the ingredients and putting into the oven in the first place.

Nesta and Az don't even need to say "Elain" stabbed him if they're trying to avoid specifics but they could say, after someone stopped him from harming Nesta, she was able to finish him off but they both act as if it was really all Nesta's doing.

It's not that I hate Az or Nesta for this fact, I do acknowledge that SJM keeps pushing this narrative because she's trying to make the point that Elain isn't valued in the NC, that they either still try to protect her in a way that hinders her growth or they just can't admit to themselves that maybe she doesn't need them in the way they're desperate to be needed because being someones protector gives them a sense of self worth. But it's become almost comical how many times SJM has give their character chances to acknowledge the parts Elain played in the war yet neither does.

Also, I think it's clear Az is still salty about not having a mating bond, 7 months after the events of Solstice. To me, that doesn't mean he has feelings for Elain but wants his own mating bond, something that he in canon does not have with anyone that we know of. Which is fine, all the ACOTAR males had wanted a mating bond because they grew up realizing what a special thing it was. But I think anyone trying insist that he'd be happy with Elain knowing she has a bond with someone else is an argument they'll lose in the end. I think E/riel ended on Solstice but even if there was something still there, I believe he'd always wonder if his mate was out there somewhere and that's not the kind of setup that ends well for anyone.

My final thought is that the E/riel theory that Az's shadows work off "firstlight" is ridiculous considering the battery of Bryce's phone died and it was Az humming to himself that caused the shadows to dance. And the kind of music he preferred was what he called "pleasure hall" music to which Bryce replied "are you a club rat".

Music has never been a part of Elain's arc. She likes balls, for sure but I can almost bet that the dancing and music of a ball are much different than that of a pleasure hall. Does Gwyn like the pleasure hall scene? No clue but we do know that Nesta and Feyre mention Elain herself never frequented the bar scene. And it cannot be denied that SJM created a very obvious parallel between the end of his bonus in SF, what with Az's shadows singing in answer to Gwyn's singing and the end of the HOFAS bonus, with his shadows dancing along to his own humming.

I still don't think that means Az's books being next is a certainty. Music preferences and bitterness over a lack of a canon mating bond are still not relevant to where things left off in Silver Flames (the issues with Koschei, Beron, Spring, the treaty).

I think SJM is continuing to build up who Az is so that anyone who does read across her series will have a better idea of his character when it's time for his book, whether it's after Elucien or before, but that buildup continues putting him farther away from Elain and closer to Gwyn as his endgame.

#elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #anti e/riel #gwynriel

[ae-neon]

Nessian Rant part 3

First I wanna say the looneys in this fandom make it so unbearable to be here and just have fun. I used to post whatever I wanted without a second thought but now everything has to sit in the drafts for 3 days while I stress over how people might react.

Fuck that.

I'm gonna scream about what I wanna scream about and if you take it personally that's your problem. These are just characters, clock in to reality and stop acting like they raised you.

Now...

I always see my Nessian mutuals talk about acowar Cassian and trilogy Cassian as a whole being so great but...

To be clear I don't mean Cassian as a standalone character, he's literally amazing alone but in Nessian? Be serious

He's also amazing with every other woman he comes into contact with except Nesta... 🤦🏻‍♀️ can't believe yall stan this ship, stand up rn please 😭 lolol jk. This is just a rant, ship literally whatever the fuck you want, luv u 🫶🏼

I said in a recent answer that the key to enjoying SJM's books is abiding by the Sarah Says rule.

Listen to what Sarah Says even if you read with your own eyes that in canon that "character A got shot by character B", if Sarah Says "well actually B doesn't have fingers so he couldn't pull the trigger and A actually shot himself from 3 feet away being both the victim and the gunman" then that's that.

I'm gonna refer to the facts on paper as canon and what Sarah Says as the narrative and what fans think as fanon.

The thing with a lot of (anti Feysand pro Nessian) fans is they can break the Sarah Says rule only when they want to.

They see past the narrative and fanon to look at the canon and say "I don't like that/ I don't think that's healthy/ that guy sucks/ they both suck"

But then will say acomaf and acowar Nessian was great. What was sooooo great about it? I'm not gonna act like they don't have good moments but they definitely aren't as good as fanon or the narrative makes them out to be.

Let's look at their first meeting

Narrative/ Sarah Says/ Feyre's Mind: Cassian is looking at Nesta and Nesta is ignoring Cassian. There's a little back and forth. Nesta tries to ignore him, he doesn't like that. Do you feel some tension? I feel some tension

Fanon: Cassian was the only one brave enough to call Nesta on her BS and dish it back to her/ he got under her skin/ finally someone tells her off etc you know what I'm referring to

Canon: Feyre and Elain frequently challenge Nesta and she more often than not gives in to them. The IC are in the house because Feyre wants to be there and Elain said to hear them out. In that same scene, Feyre essentially tells Nesta she's living her best life and to fuck off. And power to her. That's just their dynamic.

But Cassian? Cassian is a stranger. He's in her house. He's asking for her help. His HL is asking for her help. So why was he antagonising her?

The narrative and fanon loves to act like Cassian is at best an equal and at worst below Nesta in some way and he's just stepping up to meet her energy but ???

Nesta didn't want them in her home. She worried that just working with them would put herself and others in danger. She didn't want to become Fae. She didn't want to share her story to garner sympathy for the NC. She didn't want to kill or use swords.

But all of those things happened anyway??

She's always the one backed into a corner and then treated like she was on equal ground just cause she's still got her pride? That single sin of not breaking is always punished again and again.

Do you see how you've bought into what Sarah Says?

Hybern and the Cauldron?

Cassian was twitching trying to reach for her, this was the moment we knew for sure they were gonna be mates omg

And Nesta? She was right. Everything she feared would happen did but even worse? She and Elain have been kidnapped and she doesn't know why they're being dunked like chicken wings but the fucking pot tried to kill her. She's the one who fell for an eternity and fought her way back to life.

No offense but not the greatest moment to base your romance on since you have to swivel the camera away from a woman in a traumatizing situation to point at a man and say look how seeing her hurt hurts him 🤕

And acowar??? The supposed golden era of Nessian?? Babe, that's just spray paint

It's Nesta who stands up for Cassian at the HL Meeting. You know what she also does? Recount her trauma to strangers, she isn't feeling well, she stands up for innocent humans and fae, she commands a room full of the most powerful men on the Continent.

It's Nesta who calls for Cassian, saves his life, and covers her body with his. These are Nessian moments yes but they are Nesta's actions. It was her who made Nessian shine.

Cassian? He promised her forever and then ignored her? Pulled away, got embarrassed or something who the fuck cares.

But this is your man - look at the canon - this is your man??

And you said yes.

That's why you got ACOFAS. That's why you got your 500 year old man telling a shell shocked, dying woman that he didn't know why her sisters loved her. That's why you got a leader of legions raging like a 14 year old league player. A whole r/AITA villain

And that's why he embarrassed y'all in ACOSF. That's why you got EIGHT HUNDRED PAGES AND NOT A SINGLE I LOVE YOU because you already accepted less than the bare minimum

Because you failed to apply the rule equally for both ships.

Cassian is also in a power imbalanced relationship with Nesta, he's also 500 years older than her so why suddenly have issue with him having control over her and using it to break her and reshape her how he wants?

Again. You can ship what you want. You can indulge in fanon all you want. I support that. Just hope you know that that's what you're doing.

Mutuals don't hate me 😭

#anti nessian #acotar rant #anti acomaf #anti acowar #anti sjm #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta deserves better #pro nesta #sjm critical

[im-unthinkable]

“The problem is, We look for someone to grow old together, While the secret is to find someone to stay a child with!”

Charles Bukowski

What does Love mean to 4-8 year old kids? Slow down for a few minutes to read this...

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore... So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca - age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.' Bobby - age 7

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine - age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image!) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross...' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry.’

Now, take a few seconds and post this for others to inspire and spread Love like butter!

And then be a child again today!

ctto: Stu Dunn

#child love #love #charles bukowski #contentment

[luverofralts]

"Still? When's this going to be over?" Adrienne shouted at the cards on the floor. It was nearly Winterfest, which meant that it was time for the Helios family birthday party. Noelle, Adrienne, and Luciana all had the same birthday and their grandparents wanted to celebrate it the most economical way possible. By combining the three birthdays into one party, Elaine saved time and money. It also usually meant that her children wouldn't feel obligated to show up at her house on Winterfest itself. The less time she had to spend with Nathan and whoever he was bringing home that day, the better.

Theo had absolutely no interest in answering Roman. Instead, he and Adam were texting, since Theo had been unable to ditch the family event. They'd been texting non-stop about all the interesting things Adam was going to do with his own family on the school break. Adam was going snowboarding, and shopping in the high-end magical stores while Theo watched his little sisters blow out candles and his father argue with his siblings for an entire afternoon. They wouldn't get to see each other until after Winterfest, which felt like an eternity. How was he supposed to manage without Adam for so long?

"Theo? Can you help your father set up the living room? He needs a second pair of hands."

"Theo! Now. Go help your father. When you're done, you can come help me make dinner in the kitchen."

"I don't get it!" Adrienne shrieked, shouting at the unresponsive deck of tarot cards on the floor. "They can't just show up here, I told them that! Victoriana is supposed to know and then they come. They'll mess up everything!"

"Rien, put your cards away. Just because it's your birthday doesn’t mean that you can shut yourself away with them. Go celebrate with your sister and cousin. Make a friend, I don't care who. Please, Rien, please."

"Yes, Dad," Adrienne sighed. "But-but it's important that I see what's coming. There are huge plans in motion that-"

"Give me the cards," Roman snapped, cutting his daughter off before she could mumble strange prophecies again. "You're not getting these back for at least a week. No one can accurately predict the future, and even if you could, what's the point if you're not living it? Let whatever happens happen and we'll deal with it then."

"But Dad-"

"Now it's two weeks," Roman declared, glowering in the direction of his son. "Theo! Get off your ass now and help your father or Adam won't be allowed to come over for three months. Now mister, go."

Theo grudgingly stood, no doubt telling Adam how cruel his parents were via text. Roman didn't care what the teenagers thought of him, so long as it got Theo off the couch and helping his family set up.

Elaine passed her youngest son in the hall, deliberately avoiding him as best she could. The last thing she needed was to deal with Nathan's drama while the Bellamys undoubtedly brought enough of their own drama for the day.

"Ugh, Kaeileen is obsessed with me," Nathan grumbled, scrolling through his messages. "'Your child support didn't come in this month, why haven't you signed the form for Naethan's school trip?' Doesn't she have anything better to do with her time than bother me?"

"Happy birthday!" Luciana exclaimed, hugging her grumpy cousin. "What's wrong? We're getting presents and cake today."

"I don't want to talk about it," Noelle replied. "You wouldn't understand. Your parents care about you."

"Oh, what did Aunt Lucy do now?" Luciana asked. "Dad hasn't yelled about her for a long time. Did she get an important case? Is she suing the school so we get a longer break?"

"No, none of that. I found out who my other mom is and...and I can't talk about it."

"Okay!" Luciana chirped, ignoring her cousin's moodiness. Today was still going to be awesome even if Noelle was grumpy. Cake and presents always made things better. "Have you seen the presents on the present table? There's so many of them!"

"I don't care," Noelle sighed dramatically. "It's our birthday and I'll never see my other mother here. I've been abandoned. No one wants me."

"I can get you some pretzels," Luciana offered. She didn't have the focus today to put up with her stepcousin's drama. "Dad hasn't got the desserts out yet, but there are pretzels."

"Hard or soft pretzels?" Noelle asked. "I love the soft ones that just came out of the oven."

"Both," Luciana replied cheerfully. "You know my dad doesn't skimp on anything. Let's go find some before dinner. It'll be fun."

Noelle paused for a moment and considered her options. Her absent mother wasn't a priority to anyone else, and the one mother she did have in her life was completely distracted with her attention seeking behavior. No one wanted to listen to Noelle, so she might as well join her friend for a birthday pretzel.

"Hey, how are things going? Busy? I'm pretty busy. I don't get back to Arkhelios as often as i should," Nicholas said.

His old friend and stepbrother, Nathan, had been erratic their entire lives and didn't often call Nicholas to hang out, so this was probably the only time they'd see each other for a while. From what Nicholas understood, Nathan spent his life jumping from job to job, country to country. He spent days with royalty in Crystal Cove and then weeks hanging out with a vampire coven in Strangetown. Anything to avoid the typical life his mother wanted for him. Anything to avoid paying child support to Kaeileen, not that he held a steady enough job for her to collect from. He had Gareth and his boys for the length of the party, after which, Naethan would be returned to his mother and Gareth and Garth would return with him home, until Nathan had another impulse to disappear again. It wasn't exactly parent or partner of the year behaviour, but no one fought Nathan on it. He always came back, didn't he?

"Yeah, things are busy," Nathan replied dismissively. "I travel a lot, do a little work here and there. I can't complain. You're still where? Strangetown, right? You fled one desert for another. At least they have good clubs there."

Nicholas shrugged.

"I guess so. I wouldn't know, we're expecting our first child soon. All I've been doing is fixing the nursery and reading book after book. It's the greatest thing to ever happen to us. We're so excited."

"Eh, I guess," Nathan replied, rolling his eyes. "They're expensive and whiny too. Don't have too many."

"I can see why Gareth keeps you around," Nicholas remarked. "You're such a romantic."

"Oh, Gareth! Good to see you."

Abe waved to his ex and Nathan's fiancé as he walked down the hall.

"Hey Abe! How's the birthday girls? Excited for their party?"

Abe paused to consider his answer. Noelle had been sulking all day while glaring daggers at her mother and Rien was busy crying on the stairs because Roman took her tarot cards. Luciana at least was running around, shoving food in her mouth and laughing. At least one of the kids seemed to be enjoying the party.

"You know those three, always off doing something," he settled on. "God only knows what Theo's up to too. He's spent the whole morning texting and now I can't find him. He's supposed to be in the kitchen helping, but I can guess what he's actually doing. Just wait until your boys are teenagers; everything you ask of them will suddenly be the end of the world."

Gareth smiled politely.

"I can imagine. Is...uh, is Roman here too? He'd not like, running errands or anything?"

Abe cringed, remembering the first time Nathan had brought Gareth to the family house and how Roman had lost his mind threatening him for having slept with Abe a few times in college. Roman had been better with prolonged exposure to the man and the fact that Gareth was now engaged to Nathan. There was still hostility when Roman went anywhere near Gareth, but Gareth believed that there would be large consequences if Roman threatened him again. He'd lost Elaine's automatic support from his affair with Ulyssa, and Lucy tried not to indulge in petty pranks when her high profile wife was nearby. With all that protecting him, Gareth had downgraded the threat Roman posed enough to just be nervous of the man.

"Roman's in the kitchen, or he will be once he hunts down our son," Abe assured him. I doubt that you'll see him until dinner."

"Gareth? Gareth! Did you send Kaeileen money yesterday? My account is mysteriously missing the amount she wanted. I told you, Mom's going to draft something to get her off our backs."

"Sorry, I should talk with him," Gareth apologized. "He doesn't understand that child support is not optional, and that his mother can't just make his responsibilities go away."

"Yeah, of course," Abe said, watching Gareth storm off to yell at his partner.

He had no idea how Gareth tolerated Nathan. He was Abe's little brother and Abe couldn't stand to be in a room with him for more than ten minutes.

Naethan and Garth were well behaved, unlike their father. They were only half siblings, but they seemed to be inseparable and weren't too impacted by their shared father's inability to be a functioning adult. Abe didn't see them often, as he didn't willingly spend any time near his brother, but it looked like Gareth and Kaeileen's parenting was making up for Nathan's.

Elaine scoured the living room for her missing grandson. Roman was getting pissed off in the kitchen with Ironman, which made Elaine pissed off that her first grandson, with at least some of her DNA in him, was being a lazy slacker. For all the money she helped his parents pay to his fancy school, Theo certainly hadn't been taught manners or responsibility.

"Theodosius Bellamy, you come here this instant. You have been summoned to help with dinner, and if you don't get in there in the next three minutes, there will be consequences. Ironman knows how to block cell reception and take down the wifi network. It'd be a shame if you couldn't call anyone, wouldn't it?"

"God, I have to go, Adam, my bitch grandma is yelling at me for some reason. Yeah, I know. I miss you too. I'll try calling you later."

On his way to the kitchen, Theo's eyes spotted his grandmother's new karaoke machine in the living room. He loved to sing and play guitar, and it was there for the party guests to use, right? One little song wo wuldn't be the end of the world before he was trapped, cutting onions and peppers with his father.

He scanned a few songs in the catalog, while Noelle was already prematurely booing his future performance.

"Boooo! No one wants to hear you sing, leave the machine for the people with talent!" Noelle called out. Teasing Theo was almost too easy, but it helped ease the hurt she felt when she thought of her mothers.

Theo glared back at her, completely unshaken. It would take a lot more than heckling to rattle him. He could be just as petty as her.

"Her name is Noelle, I have a dream about her," Theo sang, making sure that his voice was extra obnoxious for his cousin. "Something something, I've got gym class in half an hour."

"Shut up already!" Noelle shouted, stamping her feet. "It's my birthday, and I'm sick of that stupid song everyone thinks is funny. There are other songs with Noelle in them! You're stupid! This whole party is stupid! Don't make me break your stuff. I'm still a kid, no one will blame me."

"THEODOSIUS ULYSSES BELLAMY. Get in the kitchen now, or I swear to god-"

"Coming," Theo groaned, putting the microphone away angrily. "This whole party sucks. I wish I were with Adam. His parents would never make me help with dinner."

#sims 2 #arkhelios #roman bellamy #abe chun #sim: theo bellamy #lucy chun #elaine helios #noelle helios #sim: noelle helios #luciana bellamy #Adrienne Bellamy #nathan chun #nickolas fontana #theo bellamy #arkhelios adventures

[1solone]

The problem is;

We look for someone to grow old together,

While the secret is to find someone to stay a child with!

What does Love mean to 4-8 year old kids?

Slow down for a few minutes to read this...💕

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore...

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.

That's love.' Rebecca - age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him,

to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt,

then he wears it every day.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that.

I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody.

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine - age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'

(what an image!) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross...' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.

People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

(this made me cry!)

Now, take a few seconds and post this for others to inspire and spread Love like butter!

And then go be a child again today!

[acurlygirlamy1]

The problem is;

We look for someone to grow old together,

While the secret is to find someone to stay a child with!

(Charles Bukowski)

What does Love mean to 4-8 year old kids?

Slow down for a few minutes to read this...💕

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore...

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.

That's love.' Rebecca - age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him,

to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt,

then he wears it every day.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that.

I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody.

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine - age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'

(what an image!) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross...' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.

People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

(this made me cry!)

Now, take a few seconds and post this for others to inspire and spread Love like butter!

And then go be a child again today!

Found on FB no credits available.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Angsty prompt with Nesta recovery arc: day of her wedding is soured when Cassian is once again distracted by Mor, whom she reluctantly invited as a bridesmaid per his request. Feyre has been more enamored with the wedding itself than reassuring Nesta’s nerves. Rhys is holding the check over her head even tho she insisted he didn’t need to pay. Amren is just being a bitch and souring the whole evening with her attitude against marriage. (Perhaps an omen?)

Finally done with being second, she sneaks out the back with The Valkyries in tow and a couple hundred bucks Eris gives her (was supposed to be a wedding gift but better suited as a runaway bride advance - he’s loving it! Much blessings and thank you for the drama!!) and roads trips to anywhere with her best friends. A weekend of clarity and a phone discarded in some church bathroom.

Creative liberties to the writer - you never disappoint!

Ok so if you squint then I kind of fulfilled what you asked for … I started with good intentions I swear but it just took on a life if it’s own! Always dangerous to give me creative liberty 😉

“You look so beautiful,” Elain smiled. She smiled and for a second Nesta almost believed her. Almost deluded herself into thinking that this happy, gentle, sweet, make no conflicts version of Elain was real and not just a facade she put up to avoid sharing Nesta’s fate.

Not that Nesta’s fate was bad. It was good, of course. It worked out. Everything worked out exactly as it was supposed to. Right?

Nesta placed her hand over Elain’s on her shoulder and smiled back, “Just like the drawings.”

Nesta pretended she didn’t see Feyre’s eyes flicker dark even as the first ounce of genuine light entered Elain’s.

“Drawings?” It was the first word Mor had spoken all day - a fact that Nesta had been, up until this second, extraordinarily glad of. She had invited Mor to her bridal suite (or whatever it was called for a mating ceremony) out of courtesy more than anything else. Respect for her relationship with Cassian - confusing and annoying as it was- and because she knew Mor was the sort of girl who would die to see a wedding dress before everyone else.

She was right on that score if the way the blonde’s entire spine straightened up the second Gwyn clasped together then final pearl-inlaid button was any indication.

“Nesta and Elain used to draw their wedding dresses on the back of sheet music when they were supposed to be studying piano.” Feyre’s delivery was simple and free of bitterness. Mor’s eyes were not.

“You didn’t joint them?”

“Feyre was never a fan of girly things like that,” Elain’s jaw worked hard with the force of her plastered on smile. “We asked her to draw a wedding dress with us once and she drew a huntsman’s cloak instead.”

Feyre grinned at the memory, “I did, didn’t I?”

“More practical, you said.” Nesta didn’t add that Feyre repeated the sentiment again once they were back in the cottage and her and Elain were fantasizing about their wedding gowns while Feyre was hunting.

“But you love beautiful dresses,” Mor half pouted. Yes, Feyre loved to go shopping and feel silks and dress in starlight with her new friends.

“I like wearing beautiful dresses when they are placed in front of me as Rhys and you do … I don’t spend my free time thinking of them.”

Nesta felt Elain’s hand clamp tighter on her shoulder. She squeezed back in acknowledgment. The shared frustration.

“I suppose you had more important thing to think about.”

Was this going to be the rest of Nesta’s life? Waiting for Cassian in a pretty dress while his family reminded her of every sin she committed as a child? Would he defend her? Would he tell Mor to stop, if he was here? Would these subtle jabs and hairpin pricks ever cease? Shouldn’t Nesta know the answers to these questions before she accepted eternity?

Choosing Cassian had never been easy, but it had always been worth it. His family though …

No.

Not his family.

Just Mor.

What did it say that Nesta trusted more entirely in Rhysand to defend her against Mor’s comments than her own mate? Rhysand who wouldn’t stop showering her in gifts and wouldn’t hear a single bad word about her from anyone. Rhysand who took a debt for a debt. A language he and Nesta understood completely. Rhysand who owed Nesta 3 lives that he would never repay. That she never wanted him to repay.

Cassian owed her nothing but himself. And it was enough. Cauldron and mother and wall and old human gods, it was enough. But … was it enough when he was not there?

That had always been the question, hadn’t it.

Hand stitched silk tightened around Nesta’s middle. Squeezing her organs together and trapping her nerve somewhere deep inside her rib cage.

A huntsman’s cloak, her little sister wanted.

Ironic, that so many years later she sent a huntsman to trap her wicked elder sister’s heart.

And of course he succeeded.

For a very long time Nesta convinced herself that it didn’t matter, if he trapped her heart or she gave it willingly. But suddenly, in this room, with Elain’s hand pressing down on her shoulder and Mor’s glare so thinly veiled and her sins splashed across Feyre’s face even on this day … suddenly, nothing mattered more.

“It’s ok,” Elain whispered. “Do it for both of us.”

Gwyn’s eyes shot up, bright teal reflecting off of shining white. Emerie stood where she had been watching quietly from the corner.

“Any summit,” her Illyrian sister said. “Any battle.” Her gaze flickered to Mor and the High Lady. “Any choice.”

And just like that, her organs loosened. Shifted back to their proper spot, floating free among her blood and muscle.

Nesta wanted to run, and if she did, more people in this room would cover her tracks than try to claw her back.

She was not where she was all those months ago. She was better. She was freer. She was … loved.

Loved by her sisters. Blood and found.

Loved by her brothers (in-law but every bit annoying enough to count as the real thing)

Loved by her mate.

Loved by … loved by herself.

And that made all the difference.

With one foot out the door, Nesta did something she never could have done a year ago. She admitted what she truly needed in that instant. “Everyone get out.”

They did. Without question.

And with a single tug of a golden string…

“Cold feet, sweetheart?”

#nessian #nesta archeron #nessian fanfiction #acosf #cassian #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #nesta and cassian #gwyn berdara #gwyneth berdara #a court of silver flames #valkyrie #Valkyrie trio

[separatist-apologist]

is now a good time to ask what your updated ginger rank is for this month (lucien, cal, hux, eris, tharion) 👀

-fictional ginger anon

I would rank fictional characters every day of the week if you asked me to. Fictional gingers are my favorite, though.

AS ALWAYS WE HAVE

5- Tharion: the more space I put between CC2, the more I am certain I hate that series. NO ONE LOOK AT ME it's just Bryce is SUCH a pick me and that GYM sex scene was MISERABLE. Tharion is still hot, he can't help if his narrative is bad. But he's too impulsive for me, a person who is already very, very impulsive.

4. Hux: You know I had to do it to 'em. I've been reading more gingerrose lately which has been enjoyable but fundamentally Hux is TOO grounded in his ideology, like your dad or uncle that watches Fox news on a constant loop and I know, don't ask me how, but he fucks in socks. I just, I have that sense and I have never been wrong about that. Some men just exude that vibe, you know?

3. Eris- I'm sorry. I'm know I'm on my Eris bullshit but I'm also on his little brothers bullshit, too. He is so, so hot and so, so aloof. Does he like me? Am I disposable? I never know until 3am and I get that wyd text that I immediately respond to because lets face it, he knows EXACTLY what he's doing. and in the morning i pretend im chill with this arrangement but my feelings are hurt. he knows it, i know it and still we say nothing.

2. Lucien- HEAR ME OUT. This man is for the STREETS first, Elain second. HE is TOO hot and I am insecure. What does he see in me, a midwest 8 but a west coast 4? I know its because I'm funny because i hear him tell his friends that, but coming from Lucien's perfect mouth, it's definitely an insult.

Cal Kestis- DID YOU SEE GROWN UP CAL???? Because I did and I'm having thoughts, mainly: how can I corrupt this jedi? Just a little? JUST A LITTLE- look, it's like having a very hot priest come to guest lecture on Sunday or whatever. Hello???? 911????? Why did no one stop this man from swearing to a life of celibacy except I know from the SW's books that Jedi are allowed to fuck, and I just want to know, you know? Cal has it all, truly, a big ass lightsaber, an unwavering moral compass, and a droid best friend that rides on his shoulder. I want what he has, even if I can't see him naked.

#cal is truly living the life #anyway im still not over the jedi: survivor trailor #it literally robbed me of air #i screamed #i think about it all the time #fictional ginger ranking #we need to find some gingers guys #create a top 10 #this list is sjm heavy

[lutatia]

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore... So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca - age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine - age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image!) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross...' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

Now, take 60 seconds and post this for other to see. And then be a child again today!

[acourtofthought]

How do you feel about Feyre saying, “why not make them mates” “why Lucien?”

I feel like it’s used as a way to say that Sarah intends to end with E/riel.

To me I’ve always seen Feyre as an unreliable narrator, and I find Sarah uses that tactic consciously and purposefully.

Her assumptions are often wrong, they’re almost immediately contrasted by what happens on page. I think if anything, when you go into a first person POV, you should assume their biases make them an unreliable narrator.

Examples that are argued about a lot:

In ACOTAR, in her state, she believed that Nesta and Elain both paraded as if the people in town were a second grade social circle, but then immediately Nesta and Elain speak of Tomas Mandray with excitement and endearment, or that Clare Beddor was actually a close friend to Nesta. It seems they do try to be social and don’t hold themselves at any higher of a rate than them.

Feyre saying that her sisters were no help (they weren’t in a lot of ways), but by the end we see that Nesta did chop the wood, she did try to get Feyre back, she did actually ask her family for handouts when they fell poor, it seems she was comparing their strengths unfairly. Even Feyre admits she’s wrong when she sees that Nesta dropped Tomas solely because she knew he wouldn’t help her get Feyre back, that was a line in the sand. “But she had cared, and perhaps loved more fiercely than I could comprehend, more deeply and loyally”.

In ACOSF, when people don’t understand why the inner circle seems, “out of character”, I don’t agree with that. Feyre’s POV of the IC, is going to be biased, in turn our own as well. Both she and Rhysand made poor choices, and we all didn’t feel the wrongness of it, because their actions always worked out for them, benefitted them. When we switch to Nesta’s POV, we see that their actions aren’t always good for others as it is for them. Which is fine, I quite like seeing flaws in otherwise loveable characters.

It’s safe to assume, at least in my opinion, that Feyre chose to question Elain and Az’s partnership, because she assumes thats what would be best. It’s easy to connect that not only does Feyre underestimate Elain, but also coddles her, she’s constantly thinking of things that would ease Elain’s life, make it uncomplicated.

It’s all perspective bias, what I’m interested in, and what I’m excited to see, is what Elain’s POV is on this. It’s the only one that matters when it comes to what she wants/ needs. It’s easy for Feyre, and then Nesta, to make assumptions without having all the information, it doesn’t make any of their thoughts gospel.

I definitely agree that Feyre, as well as all the other characters can be unreliable narrators when it comes to how they themselves perceive someone else. Especially when their opinion of that character is somehow tied into a feeling they have within themselves. For example......Nesta often thought the absolute worst of Feyre at the start of SF. That Feyre was trying to control her and she was only putting an end to her drinking and gambling because she was embarrassed. By the end of SF, however, Nesta (no longer blinded by her own self hatred), was able to realize that Feyre loved her all along and had never stopped looking out for her. It's no different than Feyre's perception of Elain. She's somehow always surprised by Elain's one liners or hearing her laugh at a joke, seeing her do something brave, etc. Because Feyre has always struggled to see her clearly (and as a result a lot of anti's have now drawn the conclusion that Elain enjoys being coddled and is dimwitted) so it comes as a surprise to her when Elain is just being the Elain she's always been. Elain isn't suddenly a comedian. She's not suddenly wise. Feyre just has not fully seen beneath the quiet exterior Elain tends to have up around her two sisters. Not that I'm completely blaming Feyre for that, all the sisters are different people around their friends than they are family. I just mean to say that Feyre doesn't speak for Elain, she doesn't really understand what Elain needs or wants and only Elain can tell us that. Feyre, at that time, was also extremely new to the world of the Fae, Mates, etc.  She understands her own mating bond but doesn’t really understand all the ins and outs of Mating Bonds in general.  So she’s curious, she’s asking questions, and that’s good.  But her thinking out loud and voicing a question doesn’t mean she’s any sort of authority to say what would be best for anyone.  All she sees, this sister who likes to fix everything for everyone right away, is that Elain isn’t running into Lucien’s arms and she and Az are cool just chilling with one another.  Uncomplicated, like you said.  Because that’s what she wants for everyone, easy and settled.  Especially when she’s struggling with severe guilt for everything that went down with the Cauldron.  Wouldn’t it be nice if she found a quick and happy solution for everyone involved so she can feel a little less terrible about everything?   As far as her discussion with Rhys, “Why not make them mates?”  I think that’s way too obvious to end up happening.  It’s just my opinion but that would be like SJM having Feyre telling us about the Night Sky on her dresser drawer and dreaming that maybe her future husband will someday like the stars too.   The foreshadowing that has been in the book (discounting Elain’s visions which are more literal) has always been something that only made sense after the fact.  When you first read it, you were unable to understand what it meant at the time because it seemed unimportant or you thought it was referring to someone else (i.e. Stay with the High Lord).

  The information may have been included for other reasons.  Maybe it will relate to Mor and Eris and we’ll see a rejected bond through them.  Maybe it was put out there so we would have some understanding of what might have happened between Helion and the LOA.  But I definitely don’t think Feyre developed prophetic abilities and predicted an E/riel endgame.  It’s also worth noting that since that discussion, she’s never mentioned Az and Elain coupled off again.  A random comment Feyre made when we know she doesn’t really understand who Elain is and who she will eventually become is not enough for me to believe in.  Like you said, the only opinion that matters in who Elain will end up with is Elain’s.               

[email2000s]

Fwd: WHAT IS LOVE?? (DO NOT DELETE!)

This has come through before, but worth reading again.

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.

What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy -age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an imagination) Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Father, God bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen.

Then send it on to five other people, including the one who sent it to you. Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life. P. S. Five is good, but more is better

#fwd #love

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-Nine

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: not an ending, but a middle.

this chapter was ridiculously difficult to write and edit. it tops out at 7.5k words so… beware

***

Cassian and Nesta make full use of the summer house without his friends there, making love on every other surface just because they’re all alone and they can. Nesta shows a soft spot in particular for having sex in Cassian’s old bed, proving to him that she can be just as sentimental as he is.

Which is how they end up sprawled naked on the living room floor early the next morning, fast asleep in each other’s arms with nothing but a throw blanket to cover them.

Cassian is woken up by the sound of the front door being flung open, followed promptly by a feminine yelp as the intruder catches sight of the tangled couple in the living room. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Cassian whips his head up to find who interrupted his sleep, and his nostrils flare in shock when he sees Mor at the entryway. He carefully but swiftly moves his arm out from under Nesta’s head and replaces it with a nearby pillow before starting to stand up. “What the hell are you doing—”

“Fuck no, I can see your ass—No, now I can see your dick!” Mor squeals in disgust, promptly spinning around and clapping her hands over her eyes like she can burn the image out of her mind.

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Cassian whisper-hisses at her, throwing a worried glance at Nesta’s still sleeping form. She doesn’t shift an inch.

Scooping up his flannel sleep pants from the floor, Cassian pulls them on while Mor makes gagging noises with her back to him.

Spying a pair of underwear flung over the arm of a chair, she bends to pick them up with two pinched fingers and turns to face Cassian, who’s now appropriately covered. Heavy judgment wrinkles her nose as she casts a glance to the owner of the panties, then to Cassian. “Granny panties, Cass? Is this what your sex life has been reduced to?”

“Don’t touch Nesta’s underwear.” He stalks over to Mor and snatches them out of her hand, before grabbing her by the elbow and dragging her off into the kitchen.

She shakes him off once they’re out of earshot from Nesta and takes a seat across from him at the wooden breakfast table. She brushes her golden hair over a shoulder and smirks. “Someone’s been having fun on their own while waiting for the rest of the party to arrive.”

“What are you doing here?” Cassian repeats.

Mor waves a languid hand dismissively. “I ended up taking a commercial flight. I wasn’t a fan of being stuck on the same private plane as Az and Elain.”

Cassian blows out a tight breath, wishing he’d at least gotten some warning before his plans for the day were ruined. Plans that included taking Nesta in the lake before breakfast.

“But seriously,” Mor glances over her shoulder in the direction of the living room, “what’s up with the prude panties? I thought you would’ve thawed that ice pussy by n…” She trails off at the look on Cassian’s face, and a glimpse of fear crosses her own face. She forces a nervous laugh and twists her fingers together. “I suddenly remember making a promise a while ago,” she murmurs while staring down at the table.

“It’s a good thing you remember,” Cassian says stoically, “because I was just about to bring it up.”

“I know, I know, no criticizing your girlfriend.” Mor rolls her eyes.

“It’s about a lot more than that,” he grits. “It’s about how you’re only wary of her because you don’t trust me to choose who I give my love to. It’s about how you don’t respect my decision enough to maintain boundaries when you talk about Nesta.”

For once, Mor looks put off her game. “I never meant it like that,” she tries to say.

“That’s what it looks like,” Cassian retorts. “It looks like you’re judging someone you have no right to judge, like you’re trying to protect me from an imaginary threat.”

Mor coughs aloud. “Do I really need a scolding for a girl I see maybe twice a year? I haven’t even thought about Nesta since the New Year’s party.”

“It’s not a scolding,” Cassian says firmly. “It’s an order to be on your best behavior for the duration of this vacation, because the sisters and I went through a lot to get Nesta to come here. There will be no catfights, or backtalk, or rude looks and snide tones until we’ve returned home. The same applies for everyone else once they get here.”

“Or, how about this? I’ll stop making ice pussy jokes if you stop being this…” Mor waves a hand up and down at Cassian’s shirtless figure with a grimace, “unrecognizable creature with the tension of a forty year old single dad.”

Is Cassian tense? Of course he’s fucking tense. The last time he convinced Nesta to go to a family event with him was Christmas Eve, and he’s never letting that mistake be repeated ever again. His glare confirms it.

“Morrigan,” he says lowly with a hint of warning.

“Okay, okay,” she exclaims, throwing her hands up in surrender. “But for the record, I’ve never said anything rude to your girlfriend’s face, and I never plan to.”

Cassian crosses his brown arms across his chest. “No, you’ve only done it to my face.”

Guilt crosses Mor’s features for the quickest second. “Oh.” She bites her bottom lip. “In that case, I’ll pull back from now on.”

He releases a terse breath. “Good.” Now to hammer the message into anyone else who might threaten the quiet solitude he and Nesta have found here.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she adds somewhat apologetically. “You know I just want the best for you.”

“And you know I already know what’s best for me.”

Mor dips her head in reluctant acknowledgment. “Can we go back to normal, then? I don’t like feeling like your adversary.”

Cassian’s shoulders slump in relief, and his crossed arms fall away. “Of course, Mor.”

Like flipping a switch, Mor claps her hands together. “Good. I left my luggage in the rental car and it’s super heavy; I brought enough clothes for three outfit changes a day. Why don’t you put those big strong muscles to work while I get settled into my room?”

Before Cassian can object, she’s out of her seat and flouncing out of the kitchen. From the entry hall, Cassian can hear Mor say perkily, “Good morning, Nesta! Love the undies.”

Cassian drops his head onto the table with a thud, lifts it, then drops it again. Mor is going to be a work in progress.

“You okay?” A voice makes Cassian look up from the wooden table. Nesta stands in the kitchen entryway wearing nothing but Cassian’s shirt, and her hair is a rumpled mess from sleep. Her hands twisting into the hem of his tee tells him she couldn’t be less excited about Mor’s early arrival, though the rest of her doesn’t show it.

Exhausted apprehensiveness drops in Cassian’s gut. “How much of that did you hear?” he asks warily.

“Not much. I just woke up a minute ago and heard your voices.” She comes over to him and wraps a comforting arm around his shoulder. “Why, were you guys arguing?”

Cassian slings his arm around Nesta’s waist, basking in her warmth. “Not exactly.”

She frowns. “Was it about me?”

“It was about Mor.”

She nudges him. “Will you tell me about it?”

“No,” he quips, yanking her down onto his lap. He pecks a kiss onto her lips. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Nesta hums to herself. “So our morning plans are out the window?” she asks, raising a brow.

“Yup.”

“Does Mor actually like my undies?”

“Nope.”

***

The rest of Cassian’s friends and Nesta’s family arrive by late afternoon, piling out of a dark SUV in a frenzy of noise and colors. Nesta forgot how… many of them there were.

She lets Cassian and Mor handle the greetings, choosing to observe everyone from her spot near the stairs.

Azriel is the first to catch her eyes. He looks the same as ever, dressed head to toe in black even in the middle of a heat wave. Elain is an overdressed peacock in comparison to him, not that anyone would be comparing them, because they carefully stand at opposite ends of the entry hall.

He sends a simple nod Nesta’s way, which makes her narrow her eyes. Does he think he can act too cool for her just because they haven’t talked in a while? Idiot.

Feyre notices Nesta next and waves her arms wildly. “Get over here!”

Nesta reluctantly pulls away from the banister and nears their group, offering only a half smile to everyone there before hiding behind her sisters. Cassian cuts a glance her way in solidarity, and it feels like a pillar of reinforcement against her wavering self. She scrambles around for a solid ten seconds for something to say, either to her sisters or to the whole group, and finally comes up with, “What are we having for dinner?”

“That’s still hours away,” Rhysand assures. “Everyone scram and put your shit up first.”

“The girl has a point,” Amren grumbles. “I’m starving.”

“Yeah, Rhys, can we have an early dinner?” Mor whines.

And just like that, Nesta has melted into the background again. Which might be for the best, considering how loud it is right now.

Feeling overwhelmed, Nesta checks on Feyre and Elain to make sure they’re not paying attention to her, and then meets Cassian’s gaze through all the luggage and bodies. Tilting her head toward the back door to let him know that she’s leaving, she silently slips down the hall and out of the house.

Outside in the gardens, the light breeze soothes her heightened senses. It’s hot as shit at this hour, but she’ll take it for the peace and quiet.

Only a few minutes into her getaway, however, Nesta hears the porch door open behind her. Her shoulders stiffen when she hears footsteps that don’t belong to Cassian. There goes her peace and quiet.

Nesta is surprised to find Amren slinking up to her side, her small head appearing at Nesta’s shoulder.

Discomfort crawls through Nesta’s bones at the woman’s unexpected presence. It’s a subtle sense of wrongness, like being in the proximity of a predator but not having enough information to guess how they’ll attack.

“Hiding out from Rhysie’s big bad inner circle?” Amren taunts.

Nesta stiffens. Just because it’s true doesn’t mean it needs to be thrown in her face.

“I suppose I can’t blame you,” she goes on. “We can be a scary group.”

“I’m not scared of anybody,” Nesta says, keeping her focus glued to the trees’ cherry blossoms. “I just wanted fresh air.”

“And I’ve wanted to find out what Cassian sees in you ever since he gave me that verbal lashing about being nice to his new girlfriend.” Amren turns to face Nesta fully, closing in. “What kind of pussy grip can a woman have to make Cassian of all men heel?” She hisses in a thoughtful breath through her teeth.

Nesta only shrugs, but her interest is piqued at the idea of Cassian warning Amren away from her. She definitely doesn’t need the protection, and once would have found it offensive, but… she likes the idea of someone standing up for her, being unapologetically on her side even if they have no good reason to do it. The only other times she can remember feeling defended were brief, subtle childhood instances with Feyre and Elain, and that was only because blood instinctively defends blood. It’s different to feel chosen. It makes her chest crack.

When Nesta doesn’t respond, Amren throws out, “Are you on the spectrum or what?”

Nesta again doesn’t reply.

“No one mentioned it, but I assumed as soon as I saw you.”

“It’s rude to make assumptions,” Nesta says, her voice cool as a running river.

Amren barks a laugh that sounds like a whip lashing. “I like you, girl.”

Nesta finally meets Amren’s silver gaze and states, “I don’t like you.” Her tone is blunt, to the point—but if she has to participate in this twisted version of small talk, then she should at least get to be honest.

Amren laughs aloud again, as if that genuinely amuses her. Nesta doesn’t know how amused Amren will be when she realizes that Nesta is serious.

She shrugs to herself, turning back to face the garden. It isn’t her problem, she decides.

***

“Even for you, this is overprotective.” Rhys’s voice comes from behind Cassian, who stands at the sliding glass door at the back of the kitchen that peers out onto the gardens. He’s been watching Amren converse with Nesta for the last seven minutes—or rather, he’s been watching Nesta, inspecting her body language to gauge her discomfort.

It was a struggle not to hold his arm across the back door and block Amren from following after Nesta earlier. Amren had the look of a cat going out to play with a new toy, and Cassian had nearly snarled at her for it until she gave him that expression: the raised brow and sneer that said Really, Cassian? Pathetic.

It made him think of how Nesta would feel if she knew he was trying to physically keep people away from her, and he managed to have enough shame to move aside and let Amren pass with only a warning look.

So far though, it looks like Nesta is handling herself just fine. He should’ve known better than to underestimate her.

When Rhys doesn’t get a response, he comes up to stand at Cassian’s side and get a look through the glass door. “I never thought you’d be applying your passion for security to your damn girlfriend.” Rhys lets out a low whistle.

Without taking his eyes off Nesta and Amren, Cassian tells Rhys, “Protecting her is protecting myself. When she gets hurt, I feel it twofold.” And he really doesn’t want to be hurt on this vacation. Nesta already thinks he’s a crybaby as it is.

Rhys is silent for a long minute, as if he can’t deny that he would feel the same way for his own girlfriend. Eventually he says, “I might finally understand what’s going on in your brain whenever you’re around her.”

Cassian only nods.

Rhysand claps his hand down suddenly on Cassian’s shoulder, breaking the somberness of his confession. “Call them in to help make dinner,” Rhys orders. “I want all hands on deck tonight.”

Cassian looks at his brother with narrowed eyes. “And what will you be doing to help?”

“I’ll be watching the game on the nice TV that I paid for, in the beautiful new living room I also paid for.”

“Bastard.”

***

Nesta and Azriel help prepare dinner in silence. Their quiet acknowledgment of each other is better than any words could be, but it’s all shattered when Mor dumps a serving platter on the counter right next to Azriel.

“Ooh, ricotta-stuffed mushrooms!” She grabs a handful and starts arranging them onto her platter. “Az, how was your mystery weekend away? I haven’t seen you since you got back.”

Azriel shares an unreadable glance with Nesta before sliding his chicken parmesan dish toward her and saying loudly, “Wow, is that football?” He promptly turns around and walks out of the kitchen.

Nesta glares after him in disbelief, but Azriel can’t hear her wordless cries for help because he’s already in the living room.

Left alone at the kitchen counter with Morrigan, Nesta keeps wiping at the wine glasses that have been gathering dust in the cupboards. From the corner of her eye, she can see that Mor’s mouth is tightened into a displeased line.

Not that Nesta isn’t grateful for it, but Mor usually isn’t one to keep her mouth shut. She wonders if something is wrong that she doesn’t know about. “You look constipated,” Nesta tells Mor under her breath. “Anything you want to get out?”

Mor only scoffs in indignation. Then she shakes her head and mutters to herself, “I promised not to say anything.”

Now Nesta is really intrigued. “Promised who?” she prods. “Cassian?”

“Like you don’t know about it.” Mor rolls her dark eyes.

Nesta doesn’t know, though after Amren’s comment earlier she might have a hint. “I would prefer you be honest with me rather than follow Cassian’s orders.”

“That’s funny, so do I.” Mor plucks up a stuffed mushroom and shoves it into her mouth.

Nesta thinks back to how she woke up to Cassian and Mor’s voices lowered in seriousness. After what Nesta overheard on New Year’s Eve, it’s no secret that Morrigan doesn’t care for her, but she suddenly has the urge to have it said to her face. “Well, if you want to stop holding back with me, I won’t tell.”

Morrigan sets down her mushroom platter with a thump, turning to face Nesta like she’s done her a personal wrong. “You know what I know about you, Nesta?” Mor says. “I know that Cassian has changed since he’s gotten with you. I know that he’s more serious whenever he’s around you. I know that you don’t love him as much as he loves you. How can Cassian expect me to trust someone that doesn’t want to be around his own family? How can he expect me to trust you with his heart? Not that I’m allowed to be saying any of this, because I’m supposed to be hiding my feelings about you to stop my best friend from hating me.”

It’s crazy how a year ago those words would have been enough to make Nesta retreat to her room and never come out again. Each statement pricks like a shard of glass against her skin, though none of them are accurate or true.

And yet Nesta finds herself hurting more for Cassian than for herself. She feels her familiar old mask go up around her face and harden there.

“It sounds like your problem is more with Cassian than it is with me,” Nesta says stoically. “Because I won’t be going through any trials to prove myself. I have nothing to prove. I don’t care if you like me or not, if you’re nice to my face or cruel behind my back—but it’s rude to shit over your friend’s life choices like that. He’ll stop trusting you if you keep it up, and it won’t be my fault when it happens,” Nesta finishes. She wordlessly gathers the wine glasses in her hands and abandons a silent Morrigan to go set the table.

Nesta knows the dynamic at dinner is off with her presence there.

For once, Cassian’s priorities lie somewhere other than laughing with his friends. He keeps a protective hand on Nesta’s thigh from the moment they take their seats, and he only removes it when he’s filling her plate with food.

With memories of Christmas dinner hanging over all of them, Cassian looks like a bodyguard prepared for attack— except he’s contributing to a good half of the tension at the table.

“How was the drive here?” Feyre pokes at the two of them in an attempt to break the ice. Nesta glances to Cassian for his response, but his attention is taken by the platter of bread rolls.

Sighing internally, Nesta answers, “Better than yours, that’s for sure.”

Everyone laughs hesitantly. A steaming bread roll then appears on Nesta’s plate, golden and fluffy with a buttery aroma; one glance at the rest of the bread tells her it was the biggest roll in the pile.

Nesta drops her walls enough to give Cassian a small smile and an arm rub of appreciation, and then she reaches straight for the bottle of wine.

She loves Cassian and hates this dinner too much to allow this to go on.

After filling Cassian’s empty glass high with Merlot, Nesta presses it into his free hand with a subtle kiss on his cheek. “Relax a little,” she murmurs into his ear.

It takes ten minutes and two full glasses for her plan to take effect, but relax Cassian does. Like oil slipping through rusted gears, the tension in the room slowly unwinds and natural conversation starts to flow.

“You guys will not believe what I had to walk in on this morning,” Mor announces at one point during the meal.

“Yeah, yeah, Cassian’s ass and dick, we’ve already heard,” Amren says.

Cassian’s glare at Mor is more lighthearted than life-threatening. “This is why I can’t talk to you anymore,” he states, pointing a finger at her. Nesta is so glad for the lack of tension in his shoulders that she doesn’t even care if everyone basically knows about her having sex in the living room.

With Cassian acting more like his normal self, the pressure to make useless small talk is no longer on her. Nesta is content to watch everybody share stories and laughter, but for once she doesn’t feel like an audience member on the outside looking in. Maybe it’s because no matter how much Cassian drinks, his hand stays steady on her leg the whole night, keeping her rooted there with everybody else. He doesn’t let her fade into the background for a second.

“What’s that on your wrist, Az?” Mor’s voice rings from one head of the table. Azriel snatches his hand back in a flash before Mor can reach for it. From his other side, Nesta grabs it smoothly out of the air to take a look at the cause of Mor’s question.

She raises her brow at the sight of three colorful bracelets lining Azriel’s right wrist.

Az tries to pull his hand away, but Nesta’s hold is tight. Even if the signature of the maker wasn’t stamped onto one of the childish bracelets, she would know who had made them with one glance.

“What does it say?” Mor asks her.

“Nothing. Just some beads.” Nesta pulls Azriel’s dark sleeve over the beads that spell out GWYN’S BITCH and gives his arm a little pat. She sincerely hopes Elain is thoroughly over Azriel by now.

“Was that Rainbow Loom I saw? Since when did you wear kiddy bracelets?” Mor snorts at Az.

Nesta’s attention is pulled away from their conversation by a heavy head falling onto her shoulder. “Nestaaa,” Cassian slurs, slumping against her side.

Blushing at the attention he’s drawing to her, Nesta tries to shove a drunk Cassian back upright. “I think we need to get you to bed.”

“Oh really? Promise you’ll tuck me in?” He tries to wink at her, but it comes off as a strained blink.

He looks ridiculous. It isn’t helping the blush on her cheeks, though.

“I promise.” Nesta shoves her finished plate aside and grabs Cassian by the bicep, standing up and attempting to drag him with her. “Come on, I’ll take you right now.”

Mor is quick to get to her feet. “We can take him,” she offers eagerly.

“Who’s we?” Azriel mutters. Nesta hears a hard stomp, and then Az is coughing, jumping out of his seat after Mor. “Yeah, we’ll take him,” he says.

Nesta reluctantly lets Cassian slip out of her grasp as Morrigan and Azriel take one of his arms from either side.

“Wait, but I want Nesta to tuck me in!” Cassian twists around as he’s dragged away, drunkenly finding Nesta’s gaze. He’s pouting.

Affection battles with secondhand embarrassment and wins. “I’ll be right there,” she promises with a wave. As soon as Mor and Azriel accomplish whatever it is they’re trying to accomplish. Her voice flattens into a cold warning when she adds after them, “Be careful with him.”

Daring a quick glance back at the table, Nesta wants to cringe when she meets everyone else’s eyes. Rhysand looks highly amused. Feyre looks disturbed, and Elain looks glum with envy, the love-obsessed bitch. Amren is Amren.

After dinner is over, dishes duty is handed over to Rhysand and Amren goes off to bed complaining about beauty sleep, which leaves Nesta alone with her sisters in the foyer.

She doesn’t quite know how, but she ends up forgetting her promise to Cassian and following the girls out to the front porch for some fresh air instead. The sun has long since set, taking some of the summer heat with it, but the air is still stuffy as the three of them settle down onto hand-painted wooden chairs. Lanterns on the porch are lit up to keep the darkness away, and the lake before them gleams with the reflection of the rising moon.

Feyre is the first to speak, her voice hesitant. “It’s hot out tonight, isn’t it?”

“I’m not doing this,” Elain announces. She stands abruptly from her chair and goes back inside.

Nesta and Feyre stare wide-eyed after the swinging front door, but a minute later Elain returns holding a decanter and three crystal glasses. She sets the glasses down on a side table and starts pouring. “It’s not really Tennessee without a strong whiskey,” she says to no one. “And I’m way too sober right now to handle this vacation.” The third glass gets an extra finger of liquor, and it ends up in Elain’s hand. She passes the other two to Nesta and Feyre before settling back into her seat.

Nesta grimaces at the drink in her hand without even tasting it. She hates most alcohol, but strong alcohol especially. For the sake of her sisters, however, she throws back half the glass without thinking.

Liquid fire scalds her tongue and throat, and she groans aloud. Instant regret.

Elain has no such issues downing her liquor. “Did you know,” she says after swallowing a gulp of whiskey like it’s apple juice, “that our old place is just a mile and a half that way?” She waves with her glass toward the back gardens.

“Is it really that close?” A frown wrinkles Feyre’s brow, like the memory of their old home might taint the perfect life she has now.

“Yes,” Nesta confirms. She doesn’t offer anything else.

Feyre shudders despite the temperature. “I hate even thinking about it. It’s so depressing. Reminds me of Papa.”

Which is also depressing, Nesta thinks to herself.

“It wasn’t depressing for me,” Elain says, chin tilted up in defiance.

That doesn’t surprise Nesta. Even in the depths of their father’s patheticness, he was Elain’s favorite man on earth.

Nesta used to wonder how her papa would have reacted if Elain was the one with crippling endometriosis pain every month instead of her. Would he have ignored her cries like he ignored Nesta’s, or would he have come running to her aid?

It’s not a question that’s worth Nesta’s time and energy, though. Not when the man himself has long been six feet under. Instead she pokes at Elain, “Then why did you hide your background from every guy you met like you were ashamed of it?”

“I was ashamed,” Elain says primly, “but that doesn’t mean I hated all of it. We didn’t all grow up with a ten foot stick up our ass; at least I could appreciate what we had without taking my attitude out on everybody else.”

The whiskey must be working quickly, because Nesta can’t hold back an unseemly snort. “There you go again,” she drawls in a cutting tone, pointing an accusing finger with the hand that holds her glass at Elain. “Dishing out shit when you can’t take it back. At least not without crying.”

Feyre, who was trying to hide her cringe with the rim of her drink, now perks up with eagerness. “She does do that, doesn’t she?” she exclaims. “I thought I was the only one who noticed.”

Elain’s lips twist into an indignant sneer. “What’s this dynamic now, why’s everyone ganging up on me?”

Nesta mutters, “Because you need to hear it every now and then.” Turning to Feyre, she adds, “God, she can be fucking annoying.”

���Oh, like you’re everyone’s favorite person to be around?” Elain scoffs.

“At least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. That’s called a con artist, Elain. You’re a con artist.”

There’s stunned silence for a tense moment—and it’s broken by full laughter. Elain is chuckling sweetly as she says, “Well, I suppose it’s okay if only you two are the ones who notice it. It can be our little secret.” She presses a finger to her pink lips.

Feyre giggles along at that too, but Nesta remains quiet. Too sober for the current mood, perhaps. “Do you think someone will notice at one point?” she asks Elain. “That the smiles and Southern charm and—the kindness...” She doesn’t know how to feel about that word in relation to Elain. “Do you think someone will notice that that’s not all there is to you?”

Elain’s grinning face freezes quicker than an actress’s. “No one will know,” she answers smoothly, “because I’m not going to be with anyone else for a while.”

At the confused silence filled only by the chirp of cicadas, Elain supplements, “I’m trying out the single life.”

Nesta meets Feyre’s eyes, and it only catalyzes the sound quelling up in her throat. At the same moment, the two sisters burst into cackling laughter. Well, Feyre cackles. Nesta makes a noise that imitates a dying whale.

“I’m serious,” Elain insists, glaring at them. “If Nesta could spend all those years living like a widowed hag, why can’t I? I don’t need men to live.”

Nesta’s laughter sours at the insult, and she turns to Elain with seriousness in her tone. “No one needs anyone else, Elain—but you treat loneliness like a leper from the Middle Ages. Are you even happy for me and Cassian beneath all that jealousy?”

Elain shifts uncomfortably in her chair and mutters, “Of course I’m happy for you two.” And then she adds in a much quieter voice, “Deep, deep down.”

“Is that what was wrong with you on New Year’s?” Feyre asks gently. “You were jealous?”

Nesta raises a brow; she didn’t know this.

“I wasn’t exactly having fun watching you two suck face right after getting dumped by Azriel,” Elain tells Nesta. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you. I just…I’m not used to being the lonely one.” She huffs out a sigh and reaches for the decanter again. “If anyone should be in a happy and healthy relationship right now, it should be me.”

Feyre turns to Nesta and whispers too loudly, “You’re right, she is fucking annoying.”

“Don’t get too friendly; so are you.”

Feyre leans away from Nesta in affront. “I didn’t even do anything this time!”

“You don’t need to do anything for Nesta to think she’s better than us,” Elain chimes in.

The three of them break out into bickering, which soon devolves into hysterical laughter, which then morphs into a comfortable silence—which doesn’t last long until they’re bickering again. They spend the rest of the night going in small circles like that over their whiskey, occasionally taking breaks to talk of more serious things: Elain’s flower shop is finally starting to pick up business, but expenses are still too high. Nesta is worried about Cassian being all alone in Italy by himself, but she’ll never show it to him. Feyre’s work at the children’s art studio is making her seriously consider having kids (“Don’t you dare, you’re way too young,” Nesta threatens).

Each of them reveals that they miss at least one of their shitty parents these days.

Maybe it’s because they’re under the same night sky that they spent their childhoods under, but if Nesta closes her eyes, it’s like she’s seventeen again, letting her sisters stay up and talk her ear off even though it’s a weeknight.

***

The lack of Nesta in Cassian’s bed must stop him from succumbing to deep sleep, because his nap is hazy and doesn’t last more than a half hour. When he blinks awake, the fog of wine from earlier has mostly cleared away and the lamps in his room are lit. Mor sits on the bay window seat and Azriel lounges on a chair nearby, both of them murmuring quietly to each other.

Noticing Cassian’s movement, Az turns away from Mor and drawls, “That was quick.”

Groaning, Cassian rubs at his eyes and sits up straight. His shirt and jeans are flung on the floor, and he can only assume he took them off himself before collapsing into bed.

Holding the thin blanket to his chest, he demands, “What are you guys doing here?”

“Oh, now he has modesty,” Mor grumbles.

Cassian grabs his wrinkled shirt from the floor and shrugs it on before repeating his question. “What are you doing here, and where’s Nesta?”

“Don’t know,” Az shrugs from his chair. “But Mor wanted us to talk alone, so Nesta probably doesn’t need to be here.”

Growing wary, Cassian straightens up against the headboard. “Talk about what?”

Mor’s words take him by surprise. “I wanted to apologize.” She straightens up in her seat and throws a cautious glance at Azriel. “And I wanted Az with me for moral support.”

Az rolls his eyes to himself, likely considering the task beneath him.

“I didn’t take your words that seriously this morning,” Mor goes on, “but I’m taking them seriously now. Someone made me realize that I’ve been blaming your—girlfriend... for our relationship changing when I’m the one who’s been pushing you away the whole time. While you were falling in love, I wasn’t there for you. I didn’t trust you to find love without my input, and I didn’t respect you when you did.” Tears line her dark eyes, taking Cassian aback. “I’m sorry,” she says weakly. “Please don’t hate me.”

A headache takes root in Cassian’s temples, and he has to shut his eyes against the dull thudding. “I could never hate you, Mor,” he says past the lump in his throat. That was never the problem, though her words have eased some of the pent up frustration in his chest.

Cassian lets out a long-suffering sigh. “It’s not just you. It’s every single one of us. We’ve known each other so long, we’re so fucking entangled in each other, that even when I’m living by myself up in my cabin I feel like I can’t get away from it.” He stares out the window like he might find some relief there. “That’s why I’m going overseas. To get some space from all of this.” He waves between the three of them and laughs bitterly. “We created this incestuous little circle and now we don’t know how to care about anyone outside of it.”

He catches Az frowning, fingers toying with one of the bracelets on his wrist that Cassian spied earlier.

Mor sniffs away a lingering tear. “What about Nesta, then? Where does she factor in?”

Cassian’s mouth turns down in a distasteful frown. He still doesn’t like that he has to leave without her, but the fact that he doesn’t like it is only more proof that he needs to do it. “I can’t let Nesta be a part of me,” he answers. “I need to be all of me.”

Only once he learns how to do that can he be the friend and lover that the people in his life deserve.

***

Nesta wakes up the next dawn not on a hard chair, but in a soft bed. The smell of Cassian lingers on the sheets wrapped around her, and she blinks blearily as she tries to remember the events of last night.

Feyre fell asleep first. Elain and Nesta were just going to close their eyes for a moment and take a brief rest as well, but the next thing Nesta knew Cassian was helping her take out her contacts and laying her head against a pillow. Now the sun is dawning and she has a pounding headache. She needs at least another ten hours of sleep before she’ll be fit to face the world again.

She looks around for her phone to check the time and spots it plugged into the charger on the bedside table. Despite feeling like she’s been rammed with the flu, the tiniest smile lifts Nesta’s lips at the thought of Cassian carrying her to bed and making sure to charge her phone.

She finds her lockscreen blown up with notifications, all from her shared groupchat with Gwyn and Emerie.

Clicking into her texts, Nesta scrolls back through the hundreds of messages to see what she missed.

Emerie: i can’t believe nesta isn’t here for this.

Emerie: what the hell is she doing

Gwyn: probably hanging out with her best friends the inner circle

Gwyn: or getting railed

Emerie: >:(

A tired laugh escapes Nesta as she reads the texts, and she’s grateful for the reminder that these are her chosen friends. This is her found family, and she’ll be back with them soon.

Scrolling a little further back, Nesta finds the cause of all the commotion.

Emerie: A RACCOON JUST FELL THROUGH MY CEILING IM GONMA DUE &%!@

Emerie: DIE

Followed by multiple pictures of a scarily large raccoon chewing up Emerie’s bed.

Nesta shudders at the images. Reminding herself to message the girls back as soon as she has her head on straight, she puts away the phone and drags herself out of bed.

Her knees wobble a little as she stands upright and slips her glasses on, but her body keeps moving automatically toward the door. It’s not until she’s halfway downstairs that she realizes she’s looking for Cassian.

In the main hall that cuts through the house, Nesta glances between the back door and the front door. Instinct tugs her toward the front door, and as she passes the living room she spies Elain knocked out on the couch.

One of her legs dangle off the edge of the cushion and she still has her shoes on, like she dragged herself up onto the loveseat in the middle of the night and fell straight asleep.

Cassian brought Nesta up to their room sometime during the night, and Rhysand would have done the same for Feyre, but Elain… Elain has no one to carry her to her room, Nesta realizes.

Hating the unusual feeling of pity that blooms inside of her, Nesta goes over and grabs a throw blanket from nearby. She flings it haphazardly over Elain’s body. There, that should do it.

She might take a few seconds to tuck the blanket in a little better, but then she’s out the front door and jogging down the porch steps. Early morning dew beads the grass, and the sun isn’t high enough in the sky yet for the heat to be unbearable.

Like perfect timing, Cassian’s form appears from the lightly wooded running trail that circles the lake. He has his hair tied up and is wearing nothing but workout shorts, and even from this distance Nesta can see the sweat gleaming off his hardened chest.

She forgets about her headache and the bitter aftertaste of alcohol coating her tongue. Her feet speed up on the grass, and then Cassian takes sight of her too. He grins wide and breaks into a run toward her.

When they’re mere feet away from each other, Nesta is the one to halt first and hold out a hand, blocking Cassian’s incoming bear hug. “Don’t you dare.” She eyes his body with a warning look. Nesta will do a lot of things for her boyfriend, but sticking her face into his sweaty pits is not one of them.

Cassian looks her up and down with scrutiny, trying to decide if going in for the hug anyway is worth it. “Fine,” he gives in. He spins on his heel and walks down to the head of the pier, where a standing shower is set up for washing off after swims in the lake.

Twisting the faucet, Cassian stands under the cold burst of water and gives Nesta a look that says, Happy now?

Nesta cautiously goes over to where Cassian stands, but she gets too close—

In a blink, she’s being tugged under the shower stream, held tight to Cassian’s chest.

“Cassian!” Nesta splutters, trying to pull away. Droplets hit her glasses and blur her vision, and she has to shove the glasses up into her hair so she can properly glare at Cassian’s face.

He only laughs deeply and tugs her closer. “Like you don’t smell either. You’ve been in that dress since yesterday.”

Nesta catches her breath under the pouring water, glancing down at her soaked sundress. Right; she probably needs this more than he does.

The water isn’t freezing like she expected, she realizes as she relaxes in Cassian’s arms. It’s actually the perfect temperature, almost soothing after the initial shock to her senses.

Broad hands stroke long lines across her arms, like Cassian is making sure that she isn’t uncomfortable. The action triggers an old memory inside Nesta—or rather, an old familiar feeling. The feeling of Cassian in Nesta’s early days of knowing him, always pushing her out of her comfort zone but never tossing her in the deep end to drown.

“I handled my sisters and your friends pretty well the other night, don’t you think?” she murmurs into his chest.

Cassian looks down at her with pure reverence in his eyes. “I can’t be surprised. You’ve always been like that.”

“Like what?”

“Brave as hell. From the minute you stepped outside of the little circle you’d drawn around your life, you became the bravest person I know.”

“Not true,” Nesta states matter-of-factly. “I can name at least three braver people.”

Cassian pokes her in the ribs, but his smile is good natured. “It’s just an expression, Nes. Take the compliment.”

The shower keeps spraying around them, refracting the sunlight to scatter rainbows across Nesta’s vision. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” she tells Cassian earnestly. “I did the bulk of the hard work, but you…you gave me that first push. You taught me I could find safety in others, because you were my first real friend.”

Her words clearly take Cassian by surprise. Maybe it’s because Nesta is so rarely open about her true feelings, so her words have more value when she is. Maybe Cassian just wasn’t expecting to get so much credit, which is why he blinks rapidly now. “And what now?” he tries to tease, emotion tangled in his throat. “You have better friends?”

“Much better,” Nesta plays along, but her gaze carries all her sincerity. She suddenly laughs to herself, remembering: “I was terrible at socializing.”

It’s something she brushes off easily now, but few people will ever know that part of her inability to get close to others stemmed from a debilitating fear of rejection.

“Not to me.” Cassian reaches out to twist the faucet off, leaving the two of them standing soaked in the morning air. “I loved talking to you. I couldn’t stop wanting to talk to you, even if you didn’t feel like talking back.” That was how insistent he’d been on becoming her friend, that he would open up to her even when she was closed off to him.

Nesta watches Cassian tug his hair tie off, a little dazed by how much she feels for him in this moment. She isn’t ready for when he scrubs a hand vigorously through his loose hair, shaking the dripping strands out like a dog.

“Cassian!” Nesta scolds for the second time this morning. She flinches back at the water droplets hitting her eyes, making Cassian laugh when he looks back up at her. “Sorry,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. To make up for the assault, he delicately plucks her glasses off the top of her head and uses the hem of her wet dress to wipe off the lenses as best he can.

He slides the glasses back onto her face and nods, inspecting her. “That’s better.” Then he swoops down to kiss the mole beside her mouth.

Nesta wrinkles her nose in surprise. “What’s that for?”

“It’s a thank you,” he says. “Thank you for your car breaking down in the middle of the woods, and for agreeing to spend the night at my place last September.”

Nesta’s brows raise high in amusement. “Shouldn’t you be thanking Feyre? For calling in that favor with you?”

“One day, I’ll do that too,” he promises.

Nesta bites down on a smile and shakes her head, muttering, “Ridiculous.” Yet she can’t help but wonder: who would she thank?

The universe, probably. Whatever forces made it possible for her to wake up every day in the same bed as Cassian, eating the food he cooks and accepting the unconditional love he offers.

She suddenly shivers under the rising sun, becoming aware of how just uncomfortably her sundress clings to her body. Without Cassian’s words distracting her, everything is damp and cold.

Cassian notices and slips his hand into Nesta’s, already starting to pull her away from the pier and toward the house. “Let’s get you dry,” he says. “I’ll make us pancakes before everyone else wakes up.”

“With chocolate chips?”

“With chocolate chips.”

So hand in hand, the two of them walk back up to Cherrywood House.

***

a/n: IM FREE OF THIS BEAST. that ending was absolutely horrible to write, but i hope it satisfied you anyway. and if didnt, well, that’s what the epilogue is for

tagging: @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @arinbelle @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes

#nesta archeron #nessian #cassian #ncssianwrites #a favor #nessian fic #nessian au

[1solone]

The problem is,

We look for someone to grow old together,

While the secret is to find someone to stay a child with!

What does LoVe mean to 4-8 year old kids? Slow down for a few minutes to read this...💕

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore... So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca - age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine - age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image!) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross...' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

(this made me cry!)

Now, take a few seconds and post this for others to inspire and spread LoVe like butter!

And then be a child again today!🍂🦋💙🦋💖🦋😘💕