#and sorry again for the lateness :'O

[syrupsyche]

🪩 and ✍️ for writing ask :D

Sorry for the late answer omg I shared that ask and immediately boarded a plane so I've been busy since T-T

🪩Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate?

Other than actually writing lol? Probably start writing early when it comes to fic exchanges or any sort of event where the fic needs to be submitted by a certain date. I loved writing in the two (2) exchanges I've been in so far but as a chronic procrastinator I was definitely sweating bullets towards the end bc I was still finishing the story MINUTES before the deadline so... I should probably start earlier next time :'D

✍️Which stat matters most to you (if at all!): subscriptions, kudos/favourites, comments, bookmarks, word count, or hits?

I've always written for 'myself' so as long as a story is published to my personal liking, I'm pretty satisfied! That's not to say that I'm not obsessed with validation too lol; literally any stat makes me happy because it makes me realise that people have Read My Work!! I love comments a lot tho bc it makes me realise that people have Read My Work and....Liked It??? Enough to leave a few words??? It makes my heart swell every time. But really, even just a hit makes me :D because I'm always so happy to know that I've contributed to a fandom.

#thank you sm for the askkkk <3333 #and sorry again for the lateness :'O #syrup asks #syrup writing

[q-starhalo]

I never thought about it til just now but you can literally tell that Bad did lose 7 children.

Chayanne - While yes, as of recent there hasn't been much interaction between the two, you can tell Chayanne trusts his uncle Bad just like Phil does. I mean, Phil literally said that a big reason why Bad has access to the bunker was because Bad always keeps an eye out for the egg and will do anything to protect them. And Chayanne and Bad spent a lot of time together! Bad had made a dungeon for Chayanne and was planning on making another one. If Phil can't make, he'll just go to Bad and get his quests done. So if anything happened to Chayanne, Bad would feel highly guilty because Phil and Chayanne trusted him to keep him safe.

Tallulah - Tallulah and Bad are just really sweet (and sad) whenever they're together. Heck, Tallulah mentioned how she sees him and Phil as father figures. Whenever Tallulah feels bad and Phil isn't there, she goes to Bad. She asks him for a hug, for him to tuck her into bed, for him to read one of her papa's letters. She trusts him oh so much that if Bad loses her....oh the guilt he'd have

Ramon - This one, if anything, is pretty self-explanatory. Dapper and Ramon are close to the hip. No questions asked. Bad and Fit would spend a lot of time together babysitting them to the point that if Fit wasn't around, Ramon would follow Bad and Dapper. If I remember correctly, Ramon mentioned how Bad was like a father to him. And somewhat recently! Ramon was on and Bad saw he was alone and Ramon showed him the improvements he's done and any cool machine! So yeah, he'd feel guilty because Ramon saw him as a father figure and Bad just let him down

Leo - I don't care what you think, Leo and Bad always have the best interactions DESPITE the language barrier. With Bad only knowing English and Leo knowing mostly Spanish, they still make it work! If Bad says anything in English, he'd make sure to repeat some keywords in Spanish that he knows to make sure Leo understands what he's trying to say and Leo uses the translation bubbles (I assume) as well! Even in the early days, Bad and Leo spent a good amount of time with each other due to bothering mostly Foolish. There's a reason why Dapper, Leo, and Ramon are considered the triplets of the group. Bad and Leo just have that good dynamic. And Bad losing his niece that would teach him some Spanish and was fun to have around....yeah, he'd feel so much guilt

Richarlyson - Don't know what to tell you. They have spent so many nights together that Richas had a crazy amount of time on the server, only beaten by Bad because he is also crazy. Bad considers him like a son and if anything happened to him, he'd feel so empty without the egg that would just run around.

Pomme - That's his daughter. That's his daughter. He'd do almost anything to protect her. And it's incredible to see Bad's paranoia and anger rub off on Pomme like when Bad was angry at Quackity for kidnapping Dapper. If anything happened to her he'd go feral yet feel so hopeless because that was his daughter.

Dapper - That's his porcupine. His sunshine. His everything. They joke but they're still together. Bad would sing "You are my Sunshine" to Dapper anytime he felt down or he made a mistake. Dapper would always hit her father's head with a shovel but hit someone else's once they speak badly about him. They're each other's lights. It's them against the world always. And if his sunshine is gone, he'd be angry, yes, but he'd be so lost. He failed them.

He failed them all. He failed to protect them. He failed to take care of them. He failed. He failed. Sorry sorry sorry sorry. He failed them and he's so sorry

#and I don't know what I'm talking about at this point :D #sorry it's late I have to go to school tomorrow and there's so many emotions #again tell me if I mis worded something or if I got something incorrect #I do not care for grammar right now #sleep time qsmpblr o/ #badboyhalo #qsmp eggs #qsmp

[idaaadivock]

not to talk about dune on main but like. lisan al-gaib became an instant meme in the theater i was at. like great acting amazing music (thank you hans zimmer you're a real one) phenomenal photography and setting and fight choreography

but stilgar's LISAN AL-GAIB in every circumstance possible was so funny it made the whole theater erupt into laughter directly after the fight with feyd-rautha which is supposed to be like. poignant ig and powerful and an overall vibe

y'all hit the wrong vibe besties 😭😭

#dune #dune two #dune 2 #dune part 2 #dune part two #sawry besties it was a riot #unironically the movie was kinda fire though #my mum was clapping and cheering #so wild #father didn't even fall asleep this time #that's a real compliment #i love you zendaya #i love you florence pugh #timmy did great i gotta say #why do i see him as a child he's a whole guy #i think it's the french in him #also my mum was like #what are thanos and drax doing here #she has not watched the first dune #or read anything abt it #a true icon #no i didn't leave out austin butler #my mum just made a comment abt him being some sort of evil model and i– #why is she so funny #TO TUMBLR USER CAFFEINEECOLD #thank you for telling me his name i was so not looking forward to going through the book again #searching it up didn't even compute it is very late and my brain defaults to bbc merlin's look in a book doctrine #i'm sorry i took the s/o out of the actual post but my mum said it didn't make sense and i should put it in the tags #either way you're amazing thank you

[qiekzart]

Kaiba in casual clothing or school uniform

its october the 12th you know what that means (day 12 of drawing kaiba every day of october) 12/10/2023

this gave me an idea. so have kaiba in oversized hoodie!!!!!! :333 .. skrunkly...

[plz reblog]

#TEHCNICALLY I AM . AS O F TYPING THIS . 8 MINUTES LATE BCUZ ITS TECHNICALLY THE 13TH #but it doesnt matter #my art #art #plz reblog #yugioh #ygo #yugioh fanart #yugioh dm #seto kaiba #yugioh kaiba #idk what to tag. im so sorry #OK IF UR READING THIS #I AM SO SO SORRY FOR BAD ART RECENTLY #i will improve I SWEAR #but life has not been nice to me recently :/ #IF I DONT GET MUCH BETTER THIS MONTH I WILL BE IMPROVING EVENTUALLY. i PROMISE #again i am . so so so so so sorry </3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-

#its like 'oh a message! i will respond later' #and then later never comes cause i have no damn object permanence Or working memory #then its like... what do i even say #'hi sorry i ghosted your simple question for two days i forgot you messaged me' AGH #or especially lately #i mean to do things and then i get a New piece of distressing information about the way my life is going #which then consumes my thoughts and leaves no room for anything else #ahaha thanks! ill claw my eyes out now!! wow!!! FUCK! #trying to keep up the things i enjoy is. so tough rn #but ill flounder w/o em so! hard work that i am mostly failing at but i Keep Trying #yes i wanna do comms. yes i wanna draw. yes i wanna talk to people. can i? mmmmm...... #can't wait for this chapter in my life to be over. goddamn. #ive been in a perpetual state of intense stress since early childhood #but my fucking duck things lately have been taking the cake #absolutely unprompted #oh no this is turning into a vent post Look Away #well my mother called again last night and was all 'im getting you a car' #and uh. i started physically shaking while profusely thanking her (lying through me teeth) #GIRL!!! I DONT NEED A CAR THATS TOO MUCH RN!!! #she's always mentioning how the collective We are tight on money #and that rn i need to focus on making decisions and getting a job ill hold for like. a month #and then she slams this down outta left field??? thats so much extra stress i dont need right now??? #now i gotta worry about parking and maintaining it and gas money i dont have And And And- #i cant exactly tell her Dont Fucking Do That bc then she'll blow up in my face and call me inconsiderate & ungrateful again #me and my stepdad dont have the fucking TIME to get one! and then she was like 'oh i can always come down to help' #please dont. do not do that. i cant deal with you in person right now that sounds hellish #anyway. case in point #cant even think about messages and stuff i Want to think about bc all this bullshit is taking up my entire mind #metaphorically slamming my face into a brick wall till theres nothing left. aaaghhahsbkjadadj #its too much its Too Much everything is so much and its too much and can i be let be for two fuckin seconds please

[sunsetcowboy]

Just finished a week of stressful and tiring appointments/procedure. It's turns out I'm fine, nothing some medicine can't fix! I'm soo relieved. These past 4 months have been the scariest and most painful months of my life.

#i haven't been here l ately cause I've been b usy/d istracted w all of this. literally took all of my e nergy everyday #that was just this we ek i had so many other a ppointments/t est done cause my d octors were all w orried #but luckily none of it was anything too serious #still having to deal w my p revious pr oblem but im getting better at m anaging it #for the f irst ti me in four years i can see m yself li ving...l iving more #all the lost o pportunities. f riendships. t ime. I'm still m ourning them. #but maybe it's not too late for other chances #way more p ositive thinking than about 3 weeks ago #rin posting #maybe I'll l ove things again. things like d rawing and w riting. maybe I can #I'm sure no one even n oticed i was gone really but this is g ood n ews so i felt like s haring it. #sorry. a sk to t ag

[samwise1548]

Day 19/200 Confession

((Father Edwin Burroughs just has so much going on with him, I couldn't draw just one thing :3))

Prev, Next

#tma daily doodles #mag19 #mag19 confession #sorry again for being a day late #father edwin burroughs #edwin burroughs #bethany o connor #martin blackwood #tma #the magnus archives #doodles #my art

[nostalgia-tblr]

i've been trying to Do Tumblr Correctly and only Like posts so I can return later and Reblog them but I don't remember to do the Reblogging and some of the Likes were just in case I did so my Likes page is as unhelpful as it was before but now I also feel the loss of Liking things just to show whoever posted it that that I saw it.

Also I must say I am, in general, not a fan of the Tumblr Use Rules that you only find out about when people tell you off for not following them.

#i saw someone blame AO3 non-commenting on tumblr's “DO NOT add your thoughts to the OP except in tags!” rule once #which apparently teaches The Youth Of Today that their thoughts are not wanted and will only annoy the OP? idk does it? TELL ME O YOUTHS!! #that said the person who reblogged and added that they can't find Fucked Up Shit on AO3 when looking in the wrong tags #is less irritating than the HUNDREDS of people who have since reblogged to point out their mistake in the tags #wish someone would reblog and tell them that ON THE POST so i could have peace (hang on I could do that myself couldn't i?) #probably too late now anyway - too many versions without that addition to reblog and tag with “lol skill issue” LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DID #...sorry i clearly have something here i need to work through #mostly my fear of making Popular Tumblr Posts (“popular” here means > 100 notes btw) #they never die you know! five years later they will reactivate and your notifications will fill up all over again! oh what a lark! #:| #tumblr

[seamayweed]

Last song I listened to

Thanks for tagging me @godotismissingx!! 💙

Bloodhounds and all its Batman references really reignited my old love for Batjokes, gritty crime settings, and hero/villain stuff, so I've been rereading a lot of my fave (mostly Nolanverse) fics. As such, I've been listening a lot to Gingerbread Man by Melanie Martinez lately; it's so childlike and playful yet twisted and sexy and I love it!

Though before that I was listening to Fantasmas by Twin Tribes too around my first watch of Bloodhounds a few weeks ago; especially the lines "The candles burned out the light" and "I don't believe anymore" make me think of Gun-woo's state of mind immediately post-ep. 1 and post-Kim Myeong-gil (what with all the darkness/eclipsing imagery, not to mention that it was Gun-woo's first real touch with evil; his Crime Alley and hero origin story):

Tagging @illwynd, @pyrebomb, @argents-huntress, @pashminabitch, @rhaenys-queenofkhyrulzz, @highflyerwings, @bobafvcks, @hedvig-ulrika, @sadviper, @rain-hat, @nubreed73, @seon-hwi, @fuckingfeatherine, @blueberry-cheese-pizza, @springkitten, @contagiousrhythminmybrain, @noona96n, @strandedchesspiece, @bienmoreau, @cumberbatchedandproud, @chadekelevra, @laireshi, @judiwench, @itsza, @convenientalias, @avauntus, @holographings, @gigerisluv, @talesofsorrowandofruin and anyone else who wants to do it!

#godot #meme #tag meme #tagged 💙✨ #ty bb! #sorry for tagging so many people but i get anxiety at the thought of forgetting anyone or making anyone feel left out #so it's either i tag everyone or no one at all haha #(also please forgive me if i forgot someone after all) #and no pressure as usual!! #(sorry for not answering your ask yet godot /o\ #it's been a really busy and crazy week #late last night there was even a fire in the underground garage of my apartment complex and the firefighters came etc. #but hopefully i'll finally get around to your ask tomorrow or on friday when i'll get a small breather before it gets hectic again!)

[sunlightdrop]

          i’m completely free ~ !

#rapunzel #tangled #tanglededit #disneyedit #disney #princess rapunzel #♡ #*edits #*gifset #i've had a hard time lately mental health wise... #i keep having nightmares of ending up in my family home again #completely trapped alone... everyone i love just out of reach #so i wanted to make a lil something celebrating my freedom from corona to kind of ease my heart y'know !! #sorry if that's silly ;o; #but it is v comforting to me to relive this moment !!

[sennamybeloved]

Sorry I know I already sent an ask but would it be possible to know some trivia about you and Mileena? As a fellow villain liker I am dying to know about you guys! - flowerhound

awww oh my god ;; these asks are so fucking sweet, thank you SO much for them. it genuinely means a lot that someone is this interested in what i have to say about my girl. of course you can have some trivia about us.

(also, i apologize that it took me a minute to get to this! wasn't ignoring it, just trying to perfect my answers :>)

this specifically discusses mk9 - 11 mileena! mk1 is excluded for now.

in mk9 - mk11, my self insert is a genetic experiment done by earthrealm's government, combining humans with animals to create ultimate war machines. however, very few of the experiments were successful, and those that were escaped when the laboratory they were created in fell apart. i was combined with a fox, of course :)

i joined the tournament to cope with how hollow my life had become after leaving the lab. i was raised to fight and knew nothing else, so, kombat soothed me. imet mileena around this time, who attempted to capture/kill me, but ultimately failed, because i won her over with flattery. more specifically, i called her face beautiful, which is something she'd never been called before. so, she spared me, and we began to talk.

at this point, i didn't have a name; only a subject number that was assigned to me in captivity. so, mileena named me "phantom" after my fur and uber-cool stealth powers. it stuck, sooo, self insert name origins!!!

other story stuff is kinda blurry. i aided her during her rebellion in mkx + the comics, helped her escape captivity before we got executed, and convinced her to "settle down" somewhere away from all the drama and politics. mileena's idea of settling down still involves terrorizing people, however, she isn't like... actively wanted for war crimes anymore. so that's cool.

on the topic of general realtionship stuff, mileena is..a lot to handle. she is aggressive and childish in the same breath, meaning that she deals with everything (both good and bad) in a way that is either inherently harmful or downright frustrating. aside from the fact that she is a literal murderer, she is bossy, whiny, petulant, and a couple other things that most people would find annoying--however, i absolutely do not find her annoying. in fact, i find all of these qualities extremely endearing! even the whole murder thing.

she's extremely clingy. she wants my undivided attention and doting affections all of the time. i'm busy? nonsense! there is no reason i shouldn't be paying attention to her.

[CW: POSESSIVENESS/JEALOUSY] not only is she clingy, but she is also protective, possessive, and a tad bit obsessive; she wants me and only me, and wants me to feel the same about her. fortunately, i do, however, that does not stop her from threatening to eat those who get sweet on me. she wants everyone to know that i am claimed by her for life, and she will stop at literally nothing to prove that.

she masks it pretty well, but she is actually extremely insecure about her appearance and origins. she finds her own face to be repulsive, hence why she always wears a mask, and envies those with traditional beauty, like kitana. i, on the other hand, think she's gorgeous just the way she is, and i am not shy about telling her that. she adores my praise, so, i keep it coming.

our primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. we are stuck to each other like glue, always purring compliments in the other's ear.

mileena has eaten people for me. she will continue to eat people for me. i cannot stop this from happening.

mileena loves all of my hobbies. every time i pick up something new, she wants to hear all about it. she's a great listening, surprisingly, but only when it comes to me. she has great retention when it comes to my hobbies and my hobbies alone. she loves watching me draw, adores listening to the music i make, loves proofreading my writing. she's even tried picking up some of my hobbies for herself!

i take her friendship in mk11 as canon. one of the few things she has patience for is sewing. she tailors her own clothes, fixes up my clothes, but most importantly, she makes teddy bears. she has an entire collection of teddy bears, both big and small, some created by her whereas others were stolen and scavenged. she adores them. me and her throw little tea parties with them sometimes.

she doesn't have lips, so she can't kiss me. instead, she licks me. like a dog. like this.

she also bites. it is NOT gentle, but it is out of love, so i don't really mind it.

she is actually pretty marvelous at helping me cope with my anxiety. this is because she takes everything i say at face value instead of second-guessing and trying to convince me otherwise, so she's able to meet me where i'm at.

we both kinda suck at singing, but we sing together sometimes. she has my very diverse taste in music.

#【 🥩 】 ✦ * · ˚ — want me down to the marrow │ r: mileena . #augghh thank you for this again #you are so kind! #sso so so so so sorry for the late reply i was gen just stumped on how to structure this #but i decided a thought dump would work best #lotus answers #lotus rambles #self ship community #f/o community #self insert x canon

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

hii, it's the anon that asked about red earlier. thank you so much for explaining I understand now! but also I would love to hear what inspired u to ship w/ red👀

(no pressure tho, I love reading about what drew ppl to their f/os, in a way it's like their story of how they met)

WELP OKAY HERE GOES!!! (thank you so much by the way, im always so happy to know there's people out there who enjoys my rambles!)

alright... these pictures should help get the idea first

so, almost a year ago - I actually started selfshipping with THIS red, but the twist is that he's a creepypasta equivalent for pokemon! or pokepasta I should say. keep in mind this isn't jaide :3 this is emme! she's only exclusive to the pokepasta media

this red design was taken from frid.ay nigh.t funki.n's community created mod named hypno's lullaby which basically revives the classic "scary" stories you'd hear back in the day but they turned it into a rhythm HORROR game ALSKAKKEKEKAA (if you know fri.day n.ight fun.kin then you probably know how this game could look like. it's so high quality for something that's community created.)

^^^ LOOK THERE HE IS ^^^ MY EDGELORD BABYGIRL

anyway so while I was busy crushing on this red, (he is named glitchy red here!) I kinda got curious how he actually looks like (my common knowledge for pokemon was very poor at the time) and mind you, I did not play pokemon yet. at least, I didn't get addicted yet 💀 so I went to check, saw the many iterations of red via his gallery etc etc and then... i saw sm red 😭 and I just ???????????????? hello???? that was the first time I saw him

.... and then I saw the fanart..... 💥💥 (which means. i now dig him too.) and that's how it happened 🧍i simultaneously like the spooki and normal one :3

thank you for listening ☕

#honestly very happy I get to talk about glitchy red because the day i started liking him is on october 26! itll almost be a year!! #though.... i ended up liking another iteration of red in the same medium along the way so like aksjhsjjkss 😭😭 #literally falling for every red im sorry 😭😭😭😭 #though im currently enjoying glitchy red in a more /p manner lately but redemme holds a special place in my heart #because it was the reason why i went back to playing pokemon ^^ like if it werent for me checking this horror mod- #appleshipping would not have happened at all #its also thanks to my friends who- despite how niche the pokepasta community is - still stayed to interact with me abt pokepasta #i was actually suuuper shy to open up about glitchy red because hes my first “horror”esque f/o #this got a little sentimental because its almost a year now but thats it! :] #thank you for allowing me to talk about him! #me and my friends are still riding high on the spooky hype because they actually got a big update for pokepasta coming soon and we're happy! #so you might see glitchy pop up again #~ mailbox #anon tag

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

kissing her licking her etc

#sorry it’s the middle of the night and i’m trying to do work but the thought of her is so distracting #nakdshdjshdh #oh i got an appointment scheduled to see a general doc soon and i bet they’ll hook me up to her again :) #then they’ll send me to a cardiologist or smth #idk if it’s my heart exactly anymore tho. i was having trouble breathing earlier. like my throat felt like someone was choking it #but it went away by the time class ended so i was like. eh. can’t be that bad #but i still get chest pain and i stood up earlier and was like wouw my heart oughhh but eh i got shit to do lmao #so much fun tho #i was thinking of housesitting for the next few days and i might still but i would be w/o a car or the internet. which i smth #but i would have access to a shit ton of manga (including dn) and two kitty kitty cats that are sooo cute #and if i downloaded everything i could do school w/o much distraction which would be so useful #but again. no car no internet. u can still call 911 w/o internet if need be but ambulances cost money #so if something happened i would be majorly screwed but whatevs might do it anyway it would be kinda useful for schoolwork u know? #i’m rambling bc it’s late and bc i’m procrastinating. i would give my apologies but it’s kinda a character trait atp

[deityofhearts]

I just want attention but I want for people to actually want to give me attention without me having to all but beg for it (and even then I end up begging for attention, that’s what this post is)

#deity dialogue #I can’t exist without some form of attention and if I’m not receiving attention and interaction then everything just seems pointless you #know? I don’t expect constant attention from any one person that’s absurd and not like someone’s job #I just hate the feeling of loneliness and being unwanted or a burden #I know there are people who do like me and my presence and like hearing from me and i and very very grateful to you all #so hi hi if you see this post I love and appreciate you #I’m not making this post to diminish the affection and attention I receive from others #I guess just to voice that I’m constantly hungry for attention like some sort of attention vampire #blah blah I could pinpoint why exactly I’m like this but it would do no good #just like the feeling of not getting enough attention or feeling like I’m unwanted when o do recieve attention or try my best to get peoples #attention #I’m just tired of being this way but it hasn’t changed yet I try so hard to not be bothered and to not care and to not keep craving #attention or like going out of my way to get peoples attention and yet #anyways sorry for my depressing late thoughts I should go to sleep but once again I cannot #I did however make myself cry because my own thoughts (again) #I’m gonna go check on my forehead and then like idk #resume reading the stupid vampire webcomic or like make myself try and sleep #I need more sleep medicine but I don’t have the money to spare for that lmao #any money I have rn is in savings for my impending phone bill #i can just sleep during the day. also like a vampire

[karamazovanon]

DUDE I still think about off an unreasonable amount for an obscure rpg that came out I think 15 years ago now?? like I forget it exists for a year or more and then I'm like damn. I should play it again. And then i do. I think I've played it maybe 4 times in English and once in the French before they patched it. Underrated cornerstone of modern existentialist/post-surrealist media if u ask me

THE OFF (GAME) TEENAGER TO CAMUS ENJOYER ADULT PIPELINE IS FUCKING REAL

#sorry for putting you onthe jumbotron (answering publicly) MORE PEOPLE NEED TO PLAY OFF!!! SPREADING THE GOOD WORD #and YES i do the exact same thing!!! every maybe 1-2 years i replay it and hyperfixate on it all over again and its definitely in my top 3 #games of all time i think if not number 1. it might be number 1 actually #i dont think ive had a notebook for class notes that hasnt had at least one z/acharie doodle in it since i first played it in like #good god was it MIDDLE SCHOOL?? jesus christ im old #my very first tumblr blog had my shit 12 yr old z/acharie fanart as the icon <3 #i also got pretty far into the french version too a few years back when i was really trying to learn french #i took 2 yrs of french in high school but all i remember is that the song papaoutai by stromae fucks LMFAOA #ive been trying to study it a lil more lately...ive always wanted to learn languages but im really bad at long term endeavors bc adhd lol #anyway i cannot hear the words pepper or steak without Hearing It. #thank you for the opportunity to gush about off i love it more than is physically possible!!!!!! #anonasks #<- ask tag i guess :O i need to make a pinned with all my tags very soon

[pepprs]

ok i took a nap sorry for miseryposting

#purrs #i don’t feel better per se but i do feel less angry so i think that’s good. but i did have a fucked up and disturbing dream so now im #focused on that a little bit but it’s whatever. i think i just feel stuck in my life and overwhelmed rn but i have to be gentle with myself #and okay with accepting outcomes that are compromises even if i really don’t want to. but idk. i have to think on it more. and i wish i felt #less lonely bc i KNOW i am not it’s just i have no emotional object permanence and i keep dismantling all my inoculations and then crying #out for more inoculations and i don’t know how to stop. and now im getting upset again typing this so I’m going to stop even though i havent #gotten to the end of my thought yet and like reblog some things or watch a video idk. i really need to find a counselor and speaking of #which i feel like someone told me lately (on here probably and ididnt reply im sorry) that my counseling place should give me referrals to o #other places and they didn’t and maybe it’s bc i told them i was taking a break from counseling but i am kind of like 😐😑. but i’ll figure it #out and find someone. i think there’s a thing i can do through work i just have to gather the spoons to actually do it and i spent all of th #them on the drivers manual today. also i read like half the drivers manual today! which is something to acknowledge. ok im done now bye