#and she never told me the whole fucking truth abt my bio mother either

[idontdrinkgatorade]

what if i wrote my college application essay about the trauma of my mom treating my romanian heritage as if it's freakish

#idk smth smth about my mom comparing cultural practices to the occult and saying their cuisine is disgusting #and saying my baptism wasn't real bc it was done in an orthodox church and making me get a “good” and “correct” evangelical baptism #and also the way my mom estranges me from knowing about my biological mother #literally has to try and justify the negative things she says by saying “i don't hate her. she was just weird” #jesus fucking christ #and also the way my mom made sure i got adopted because she didn't want my ROMANIAN FAMILY TO TRY AND CONTACT ME #because she was paranoid that they would try to take me away from her. like she was forever predestined to be my mother or smth #telling me that even though she didn't give birth to me she always knew that she was my true mother. and not my actual (romanian) mother #i told her i had a SINGLE memory of romania and asked if i'd visited a second time during early childhood #and she told me for the first time (mind you that i had lived with her for THIRTEEN YEARS) that i had lived in romania for six months #FOR HALF A FUCKING YEAR #AND SHE NEVER TOLD ME #and then later she was like 'why did you want to know that. are you contacting your grandmother in romania' #GIRL WHAT THE FUCK NO #MAYBE I JUST WANT TO ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT MYSELF #and she never told me the whole fucking truth abt my bio mother either #i had to figure it out myself at a CHURCH CAMP when i was FIFTEEN #and it was confirmed not by her but by my FRIEND who knew before I DID because HER MOM mentioned it at FUCKING DINNER ONE DAY