#and nobody believes them because Willie has been chaotically messing with the paparazzi for ten years

[innytoes]

very happy to (hopefully) enable you to write more chaotic gay guys so how about "Willex + I needed a fake boyfriend for a sec but I didn't know you're actually kinda famous and now reporters are asking us uncomfortable questions"? <3

They were out 'incognito' as Reggie called it, which really boiled down to wearing things they usually didn't, plus sunglasses, and ducking out the side door of the hotel because Reggie made friends with the wait staff wherever they went and they let them escape through the kitchen.

"This is fool proof," Reggie said, beaming in a yellow smiley face sweater he stole off Julie and a pair of shorts that belonged to Alex. His hair wasn't in its usual perfectly imperfect style, flopping over his forehead and onto the reflective orange sunglasses. Alex fidgeted in Luke's Flannel Of Sadness, Reggie's black shirt pulled tight over his chest. He'd shoved Luke's grey beanie over his hair, since that was usually something the paparazzi noticed. "And so worth it, I've been dying to get something other than fancy hotel food."

"I swear to god if you dragged me out here to get a McMuffin I'm murdering you in this alley," Alex said, peering out to see if the coast was clear because casually, very casually walking out. Reggie skipped along, beaming.

"No, dude, there's this cute little coffee shop that has great reviews a few blocks away." Reggie showed him his phone. "They make cookies shaped like corgis."

Okay, those were pretty cute. "Fine."

The café was charming, with pastel colours and lots of food shaped like cute things and fun and interesting sounding drinks. Nobody seemed to have followed them, so they took a seat at one of the tables and just... let themselves be themselves for a while. Snarking, joking, not worrying about whatever they said being spread across the entire internet the next day. (Reggie did take some cute pictures of their food to post once they got to their next stop on the tour, because this place deserved the shout out once they were free and clear.)

"Hey babe, sorry I'm late," a voice behind him said, before someone slid in next to him on the bench, pressing close.

"Uuuum," Alex said, voice squeaking embarrassingly high at the arm around his waist. "I think-"

"Please play along and pretend to be my boyfriend for like five seconds, this guy won't leave me alone and he's followed me into two other places already," the voice said quietly into his ear. Reggie bit his lip, looking behind them, clearly assessing how much of a threat this guy was.

"Hey, you made it!" he said brightly, before leaning over. "Alex, if you don't want to be the fake boyfriend, I will, that dude over there looks shady as fuck." Alex turned a little, looking at the guy on the bench.

Oh. He was beautiful. Long hair, tanned skin, and gorgeous brown eyes. "Fuck off, Reg, you already have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, stop being greedy," he said, flushing and leaning over to press a chaste kiss against the guy's cheek.

"Hi, gorgeous," Alex said louder, so the people around them could hear. The pet name felt a bit embarrassing, but well, the guy really was gorgeous. "I missed you." He couldn't take his eyes off the stranger, especially when he smiled a wide, pleased smile. They made lovey-dovey small-talk until Reggie said the guy had left, and the stranger slumped against him.

"Thank you so much," he said. "I'm Willie."

"Alex," he said, trying not to think about how Willie's hand was still around his waist, how Willie was still pressed against him.

“Reggie,” Reggie said, getting up. “You want a drink, Willie? Our treat.” He gave Alex an unsubtle wink, and he flushed. Willie either didn’t seem to notice or was nice enough not to say anything about it, and asked Reggie for a boba. He disappeared towards the counter, and the guy turned to him again.

“Really, thanks. I was getting a little freaked out when he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I didn’t have my board on me to make a quick escape.”

“You skateboard?” Alex asked, and he tried not to be mesmerized by the wide grin as Willie told him about it. They fell into an easy conversation, even with Reggie trying to talk Alex up like the world’s most earnest but unsubtle wingman. Willie didn’t seem to mind, though, smiling at Alex and flirting with him as if they actually were boyfriends. Willie was funny, and cool, and really interesting, and he seemed equally interested in what Alex (and Reggie) had to say. It was pretty much the best thing that had happened to Alex all year.

Or it was. They’d reluctantly had to go to get to sound check on time (Reggie hurrying back to the counter to buy a box full of cute-shaped cookies), and he and Willie had exchanged numbers. But when they came outside, they were swarmed with reporters, shouting questions at them. Specifically, questions about Alex’ Secret Relationship.

“So much for your fool-proof plan,” he hissed at Reggie, who looked sheepish. He turned to Willie to apologize, and the guy stared at him, wide-eyed, before turning to reporters with what could only be described as a gleeful, slightly manic grin.

“One at a time, please!”  he called, and the reporters seemed a little surprised. Usually when Alex was swarmed with paparazzi, he just kept his head down and powerwalked away.

“How long have you been dating?” one woman asked.

“Forty-six years!” Willie beamed.

“Alex, why did you keep your relationship a secret when you’re such an outspoken advocate for the LGBTQ community?”

“So you guys wouldn’t crash out dates like you’re doing now, asshole,” Willie said, stepping slightly in front of Alex. He grabbed his hand, and Alex squeezed it back, not sure what to make of this, but not sure how to stop him either.

“What’s your name?” Another one asked.

“Throckmorton von Beaverhausen,” Willie said with the utmost confidence. Reggie was trying to hide a grin, like the idea of just lying to reporters tickled him pink. It probably did. Alex would have to give Flynn a heads up she had to sit Reggie down and tell him he was not allowed to mess with reporters. “Now, are you going to ask us how our date was? This place has the best boba I’ve ever had, along with the cutest cookies in the world. Show ‘em, Reg!”

Reggie beamed and opened the box, chattering about how nice the cupcakes were too, giving the lady behind the counter a big thumbs up through the window. She waved back, a little in shock.

“Now, we really have to get where we’re going so we still have time to make out beforehand, if you’ll excuse us!” Willie said, pulling Alex along with him as he broke through the crowd and hailing a cab, hustling both of them inside. Once the cab had left the reporters in the dust, he turned to Alex.

“Okay, so first off, what the hell are you guys famous for?” he asked.

“Um, we’re in a band. Julie and the Phantoms?” Alex said, a little embarrassed, and highly uncomfortable at being squished in the middle seat.

“Tell your friends!” Reggie piped up. “Alex is the drummer, I play bass.”

“Oh, okay. I’ve heard your songs on the radio. They’re a bop.” Willie nodded in approval, and Alex felt his stomach flutter a little. He liked their music!

“You... you said first of all,” he said after a moment, when Willie didn’t continue. He was still holding Alex’ hand. “Is there a second of all?”

“Yeah,” Willie said. “Where the hell are we going? Because I just told the cabbie to drive like we were in an action movie and while I don’t think he minds if he just cruise around town all day, he might need an address.” The cab driver shrugged, and Alex awkwardly gave him the address to the venue they were playing at. They were going to be so late, Luke was going to kill them. Julie was going to kill them. Hell, Flynn was going to kill them too.

Except when they got to the venue, they found Luke and Julie and Flynn sat in the front row of the audience, crowded around a phone. “Well hi there, Throckmorton!” Flynn called.

“You better have saved some of those cookies for us, Reggie,” Luke threatened, beaming when he was given a sloth and a kiss on the cheek. Reggie followed up by giving Julie a unicorn (and a kiss), and Flynn a dinosaur (and a fistbump).

“So, anyone want to explain what the hell just happened?” Julie asked, cheerfully nibbling the horn off her unicorn cookie.

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” Alex admitted. But when he looked at Willie, who was still holding his hand, eyes sparkling, he was pretty sure it didn’t matter.

#julie and the phantoms #I wrote a thing #willex #willie throckmorton #alex mercer #fanfic #this is so long #AUs are awesome #Willie becomes a meme overnight #and he and Alex start dating for real #and Flynn is just like: you know what we're hiring Willie as our roadie/bodyguard/anti-PR person #and they all live happily ever after #and then one day on some late night show someone asks how Alex and Willie met and they tell the truth #and nobody believes them because Willie has been chaotically messing with the paparazzi for ten years