#and my parents were up late last night so i couldnt fuckin relax cuz sudden unexpected routine changes give me anxiety

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

#i fuckin #ugh #i have shit i need to do #but am very stressed by...everything #and all i want to do is read ofmd fanfic and posts about autism #because im so tired of the world #and autism brain needs the special interest dopamine #but because i also have other shit i need to do AND other shit i want to do #im just #stuck #like physically #cannot move from my chair #doesnt help that its getting hot out #its like 85 out rn (29°c) #and my parents were up late last night so i couldnt fuckin relax cuz sudden unexpected routine changes give me anxiety #and i need to find some way to make money so when my parents finally find some property out in the country they can also #keep this place so /I/ can keep living here and hopefully also have althea move in so she doesnt have to deal with her abusive ass #parents anymore since theyre her fuckin landlords rn #and my mom will do whatever she can to help me out but i dont even know what i need help with #working in a factory wouldnt be so bad (repetitive tasks!!!!!!) but the long hours and shit working conditions would kill me #idk how tf my uncles have energy left over after working to still have fucking lives and creative projects and shit #i have some sims speed builds recorded and partially edited for youtube #but even if i get those out itll still be over a year before i could possibly start monetizing them #and i actually do wanna stay here cuz i have a lot of ideas for how to make this place look nice #but thats also gonna cost money #can society just collapse already #everything has felt less and less real every year since 2012 #i would like to fling myself out of this dimension please and thankyou #if youve read this far hi hello i hope youre enjoying my slow descent into madness