#and it doesn't help that i've been busy

[nell0-0]

Ingo doodle <3

#submas #subway bosses #subway boss ingo #pokemon ingo #pla ingo #warden ingo #ingo #but he shaved!!!! #alas. this is meant to be post pla #doodle #my art #i missed drawing so much!!! #I've just been too busy lately #*holds the blorbos gently* #doesn't help that the only things I have to draw are my phone + finger #augh

[sisterdivinium]

Guilt served as comfortable bed sheet, as did darkness — the price for the sacrilege of love.

But a mischievous light shone briefly from outside and Jillian perceived the shapes of the woman she had spent the night adoring: scars, dimples, hair and fat which she only loved all the more, growing ashamed of her shame, of hiding her own mangled arm.

Then she saw the thin, injured skin of Suzannes’s knees and understood.

She could not hide from God.

Jillian dropped to her own knees, cursing the cross, defying it; worshipping her lover with new passion under His resentful eye.

#doctor superion #warrior nun #jillian salvius #mother superion #warrior nun drabble #i've been a bit busy with dreamwidth these past couple of days -- it's snowflake challenge season so a good time to be there -- but! #here's a drabble for doctor superion drabble friday as usual. i have a ficlet to write until the 10th and revision to do yet this came out #there was another one before it but i need help with a sentence in italian before posting it as previously mentioned #and instead of halting the entire thing i decided to just skip that drabble and go on with the rest until a kind italian soul steps in lol #anyway. i know i know post-resurrection suzanne probably doesn't deal with guilt as pre-resurrection but still #the idea of being unable to keep secrets from god just lodged itself in my brain and wouldn't let go #narratives and similar

[kyouka-supremacy]

Today was a good day :)

#Today three strangers were kind to me in three different occasions. It was such a nice coincidence :) #I've been working on Akutagawa's birthday the entire week and today Akutagawa posts were all over my dash. I'm so happy! #I managed to do all the edits I had set up to and I'm glad :) #I dressed rigorously black and white and wore the black striped pants I bought because they reminded me of Beast Akutagawa's outfit #I did my nails black and red!! #My mother called me to congratulate on Akutagawa's birthday #I even baked a cake with a friend and they were so sweet ///// #I'm so grateful they managed to make time for it even though they've been so busy and tired because of their job #More than everything I'm grateful they weren't weird about it #They found it a little silly but they never made fun of me. They helped me pick the cake. #And today they even told me that they looked up a video of the character to understand me better #Which TERRIFIES me because no way anyone could get a good impression of Akutagawa from a single video #But if we ignore that it was an unbelievably nice gesture :') #It's just such a foreign feeling because outside of my blog I NEVER talk about my hyperfixations irl. #Because when I used to when I was younger I was only met with scorn or mockery so ever since I started university I simply learnt not to? #And it's just so genuinely weird to talk with someone irl who wouldn't judge me for it– #and not really in the good way because part of me is still convinced that they *are* judging me for it. #Doesn't matter everything suggests the contrary. And I keep overthinking if I overshared about Akutagawa or if I said something dumb #But I'm trying it not to get to me. Today they've been nothing but nice through and through #Whatnot. The last months were very tough for some reason I'm just happy good things can still happen :) #I want to start the queue again now that I'm generally more free and done with Aktgw's birthday and everything. #I also have new exams the first days of April and the program is pretty heavy and wide. On top of following courses. I'll see what I can d #I'd like to start regularly posting again because I'm afraid if I don't I'll just sulk further in misery. We'll see. #Ah I need to catch up with the dash since I've basically not been on Tumblr for three days... #That's it just rambling. I hope everyone's days are nice too!!! #random rambles

[savage-rhi]

💙

#I am not gonna let what happened take away my passion and innate desire to help people because I can't ignore that #if I learned to trust humans before I can re-learn and give people a chance again #Just because I've had a bad streak of dealing with people who see me as less than were abusive or otherwise #doesn't mean that everyone is a heartless bastard wanting to set me up to fail or want to personally hurt me #I am not gonna stoop to the level of those who have hurt me #whether they fucking like it or not I'm gonna be a therapist #I'm already a PSS they can't take that from me #I'm gonna be my authentic self I am not going to change my mold for anybody not for these dated policies and archaic fucking beliefs #that are designed to keep people sick and trapped #I can't save everyone I can't click with everybody but damn it I'm gonna fucking try and be present for people that don't have support #even if people hate me for whatever damn reasons they have cause everybody deserves a shot #may everything that has already been done to me be given back to by those that dealt it #I'm gonna wrap up my finals for this week and then open up my kofi shop for business #i still don't know wtf im gonna do to survive but im laying out the stones #thank you to everyone that has and continues to check in on me i love you a lot

[smolfangirl]

I went to a local fabric store today that I haven't visited before and while they have more fabric to offer than any other store here I've been to so far, I'm not sure it'll be my favorite... because the owner was just. A Lot.

Like. I didn't ask for a lecture on how a 300€ sewing machine can't possibly do a good job and that especially new sewers need the better equipment and that starts at 600-700€. That's an insane amount of money! Especially for someone who is just picking up a new hobby and doesn't know whether they'll stick to it long-term! Even horseriding is cheaper to pick up, and that's a hobby that's notorious for being expensive to begin (and maintain).

And to then have the nerve to imply that me being happy with my machine comes from a place of unconsciously justifying my choices! As if I haven't seen experienced sewers consistenly do incredible stuff with machines cheaper than mine. As if the art could only ever be good if you use the most expensive, inaccessible tools. As if my machine (good girl) isn't fun to work with. (Side note: I've had her for six months now and already heard from two people that they'd love to take her if I ever upgrade, unprompted. But sure, she's no good 🙄)

If anyone read til here: you don't have to spend 600€ on a sewing machine. You don't even need 300€! While I dearly love mine, I know I'm in a privileged position to have been able to afford her. Sewing doesn't have to be this luxurious hobby *some people* are making it out to be. There's only a handful of stitches/functions/etc. that you really need, everything else is mostly just nice to have and therefore very optional.

#mandy gives no ducks #sewing #rant #maybe my emotional attachment to an inanimate object is showing but I feel so offended on behalf of my machine #and then during checkout the owner asked if I worked in IT or social media with the clear implication of ''help wanted'' #like no. I've been here once. you don't know me. I don't want to do your Instagram #and even though you asked I will not start lecturing people on how to do their sewing projects. I'm rejecting your gold star for doing #mock-ups. if someone doesn't want to do them and doesn't ask for advice that's not my business #you being judgy will just harm your business. you can't shame people into respecting you

[worstloki]

prediction for @galaxythreads' fic You Screamed For So Long We Forgot To Care Anymore 

#staring at the ceiling in contemplation of this fic as one does and ????? #the image of Clint trying to explain anything to Loki is so djkbhdgh #ESPECIALLY since Clint would be explaining the thing about Loki TO Loki ??? #Clint: you have history with theses guys #Loki: (messed up memory and doesn't want anyone to know his business anyway) no i don't. i don't know what you're talking about. #Clint like I could understand you talking to the aliens and Loki is like. what aliens. #PLUS Clint and Loki have a kinda friendship-y bond going on #a little rapport #i just like the avengers getting along #and Loki suffering #except now Clint suffers too!!!!!! :D #Clint like bestie i've been having your dream-mares and Loki like ugh not another horse joke and Clint like no like memory nightmares. help #fic rec #Language! #L! #anyway this is less a prediction and more enjoying the story unfolding because hoo boy the characters are a mess #i love you @galaxythreads

[dredshirtroberts]

finally tackled the absolute mountain of laundry in various states of cleanliness around my room. now all of it is sorted and put into its respective zones of "away".

#98% of my room being clean with visible floorspace is just finally handling the laundry #i am ashamed and embarrassed that i always have so much dirty laundry #eventually i'll get back to the point i was at when i was the coach of laundry where i'll have like a week's worth of shit to get done #and not a backlog of several months #eventually #and i will be working on not feeling so much shame about the state of my laundry #i don't *like* that i do it but there's nothing inherently immoral about it like the voice of my mother that shouts in my brain thinks #the put away laundry plus the effort i've been making to Make My Bed before sitting in it has helped me feel more settled in the space #so that's good #when i am not as concerned about blocking the various registers in my room i will be in business #(mattress on the floor only fits in one specific corner right by the intake) #(output register is awkwardly directly in the middle of the opposite side of the room which makes arranging the furniture where i'd like it #an interesting endeavor that i'm not super excited in attempting to orchestrate in the future) #i know where i'd *like* things to go #whether or not that'll actually be feasible is another story #also i think i'm going to have to just go through my clothes with the mindset of actually getting rid of things #i threw out a couple pairs of socks because they were worn so thin i'm not sure mending would have fixed the holes #like that that point i'm making a whole new sock and you know what i could do instead? not do that #i also have a lot of Baggage Items i haven't quite gotten around to divesting myself of #(as in the items of clothing have a lot of emotional baggage tied to them that i may or may not be using to negative effect on myself) #lots of old shit lots of things that don't fit lots of things i don't even like actually #but it was free or nearly so and i've just held onto it because free #only a few things are kept because i like wearing them and the texture is nice #so we'll just. go through some stuff and eventually i'll get to the point that even if *all* of my clothes are dirty and on the floor #it doesn't take up my WHOLE goddamn room #that said this has in fact been a problem my whole life and so i don't imagine it's going to be quick or easy to fix lol

[swordsonnet]

on the off chance anyone on here followed me for my jonmartin fake dating au, currently standing tragically unfinished at 7 out of 8 chapters: i'm still working on the last chapter! i would love to have it up this year, but unfortunately i can't make any promises, because i've started a new medication and the side effects are wreaking havoc on my mind and body. haha isn't chronic illness fun. but rest assured the fic is the beating heart under my floorboards, and i WILL finish it one day

#i feel pretty bad about it because my update schedule has been really inconsistent for the whole fic :/// #and now the final chapter is going to be even more epically delayed than the other ones #should've probably finished the whole thing properly before i started posting it but you live and learn i guess #my chronic illness really messed with my ability to write and i hate it #like the chapter is almost done. under normal circumstances it wouldn't take me long to finish it #but it's like my brain has forgotten how to make words happen. ugh. #i don't want to let people down by making them wait so long for an update #but i also don't want to let them down by giving them a mediocre chapter y'know #if all goes well the new meds might help with both the chronic fatigue *and* the depression which would be an absolute godsend #but ngl. the side effects are rough. and they can apparently last for up to six weeks #and i've only been taking the meds for about 2 1/2 weeks so i've still got a long road ahead of me #i also started my period yesterday which certainly doesn't help lmao #delete later maybe #just needed to vent for a lil bit. and as everyone knows there's no better place to discuss your private business than tumblr dot com

[whirling-fangs]

[[ gonna be fairly inactive today because I'm helping a friend move, then this afternoon I have a 5km race, most likely under pouring rain 😢 hope to see you all tonight or tomorrow if I made it :') ]]

#mask off / ooc post #[[ i'm not vibing with threads these days and i've been busy so hopefully a day away will help #Doesn't help that i was dragged outside yesterday after work had a shitty time and forgot to eat #Which is a very Bad Move a day before a race I'm very mad at myself]]

[7goodangel]

Me: "Oh shoot! I've been on Tumblr for 7 years! Maybe I should see what I posted 7 years ago and reblog that? Nah... people might not want to see that... plus my art back then probably looks weird now..."

*looks it up*

Me: "WAIT - I posted a drawing of Undyne 7 years ago?! HECK YEAH - I have to reblog the angry fish!"

#7rambles #so I'm gonna get that reblogged soon XD #it's a little bit janky and was drawn traditionally.... but it has some charm! #Definitely helps to reblog old art while I've been either 1) #so busy to even do sketches - 2) to tired to do sketches or 3) #battling art block.... and doesn't help that the one thing I'm currently drawing is taking a total of months cause of all three XD #so yeah why not!? and maybe angry fish can GET THESE BOTS AWAY FROM ME GOSH DANG why are there so many?!

[kangaracha]

wouldn't expect a lot of queenmaker until ~christmas time, which is not what i would like to say but my body is just telling me to ease up after november and i'm hitting that pre-holiday slump so we're just chillin. we're playing a game for the first time in six months. we're doing a puzzle. my eyes are really blurry rn so i think i'll go to bed.

#i did manage to sit down and do a lot of planning for queenmaker specifically though #had a good chat with zom mom about pacing and stuff #i say 'ease up' like i haven't added more projects/tasks to the list #i've just half started looking at planning and editing rather than writing like crazy #picked up daily korean practice again #added my novel back to my wip list #we're now working on the basis of 'every time i hate my job and i want a new career i write 1k of my novel' #whatever works #this is a lot of tags for someone with very blurry eyes #the game thing actually doesn't help with physical illness my tv is too small and it just makes my eyes strain really hard #one day someone is going to give me the gs i'm owed and i'll get to buy a new one #technically i saved for a new tv six months ago my savings are just tied up in an offshore account called Someone Else's Pockets #these tags have gotten way out of hand #i just wanted to talk about my life idk #been too busy to talk to my friends about life? post it in the tumblr tags #anyway i'm sure z m or keeps or someone is all the way down here #Roundup! #queenmaker has like 16 chapters plotted #none of chapter 5 written but i'm definitely. looking at starting it. #nevermore i wrote 500 words #haven't looked at it in a week #know exactly where it goes so if i'm not stuck i'm circling back within a month #pirates is ongoing most nights #however i don't know what the scene by scene play is so #very much Just Vibing i added what i will call the cake scene today because i was emotional about an uneaten piece of cake from a month ago #so that's where pirates and my mental health are at #damn this is a full life update huh #systems check #heart (the novel) is truly at 100k now #i figured out the holes in the first part of it so i can actually connect all these dots now

[bladeofthestars]

.

#i'm so fucking stressed all the time #i want to be done with this stupid class #i wanna hang out and do stupid stuff with my stupid friends more #but they're all busy with other stupid shit #i'm just flailing around drowning trying to cling to something but all the rocks here are slick and the waves keep dashing me against them #like practically nothing is making me happy right now #there are too many people in my life sick and dying right now that need attention and my sister just had a baby #and is being hit with post partum and needs attention #but i *also* need attention. just cuz? i guess? #which makes me feel like such a whiny asshole #oh boo hoo i'm dealing with the same depression that i have been since i was thirteen and it's bad right now #just. fuck. #asking for help and attention doesn't get me anywhere #except with my partner but like. i fucking ache to just spend some time with some people?? #my partner is obv a person but i need a good group sesh #drinking and board games and dumb jokes and anecdotes #and 'i thought of you's #my life right now is work. come home and fidget on my phone bc if i start a task that task should be classwork. do nothing productive or fun #sleep. wake up the next day and do it all again #cram some classwork in on my lonely weekends after everyone i've asked to hangout turns me down #fuckin keep hitting all the pleasure buttons to see if something sticks #legitimately i think i'm addicted to sugar #more often than not nowadays i feel straight uo nauseated when eating sweet things #but instead of stopping i just keep going #and i go back for more later even though it STILL makes me feel like trash then too #maybe *this* oreo will make my brain feel motivated enough to do a task #the answer is usually no #but every now and then it works so i keep fucking doing it #took a long walk the other night and it didn't help me finish task but it did bring a little peace of mind #unfortunately my legs and knees have been starting to hurt a bit again

[lilyharvord]

Shade and corrine siblings fight story please

I can do that.

#(*ask lily*) #(*shut up lily*) #red queen #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #broken throne #post broken throne #coriane barrow calore #shade barrow calore #I've been toying with an idea for them #its just him walking into the bathroom and seeing his older sister on the floor bleeding and trying to stitch up her own abdomen #and them fighting while he's trying to help her #mostly they are fighting about how it's none of his business why this happened #and him being upset that she doesn't tell him everything anymore

[diabeticgirl4]

Hhh scraping and clawing my way thru exu calamity and it's kinda frustrating how. Everybody loves it so much?? And it's def much better than the other exu's but I'm just having heavy brainrot for c3 specifically and I want to get back to the main characters and plot!! Don't get me wrong I'm super enjoying brennan as a dm and everyone having fun but I just feel bad bc I'm not enjoying it as much as I feel I should and I'm just. Not attached to these characters or whatever plot happens bc it's all in the past and I'm assuming they all die anyways so I'm just having a hard time w it. :<

#ignore me #maddie liveblogs exu #do I need a calamity specific tag hm #maddie liveblogs calamity #sure why not #this has unfortunately been my calamity review so far :/ #it's not fair bc it's good?? just not what I want?? #but I don't want to skip it so I'm just painfully slogging thru #I've got one ep left..... 6 hrs tho jfc....... #doesn't help that I've listened to most of it while busy at work so I've been less focused and keep losing details #idk man I just kinda feel bummed about the whole thing #hopefully there's a recap I can check out afterwards? #I will say the bit w purvan suul (sp??) was such a blessing. finally some familiarity lmao.

[lilyvines]

im not like fading out of the mcyt fandom in a normal way where i stop being interested in the content, it’s more like i am interested in the content from like. a year ago. like i routinely think about that clingyduo weekend or the early mod videos or the tom simons tuesdays but when i have the free time to actually watch stuff i am just. not interested

#like i have 2 drafts of fun headcanon posts just sitting there but they're abt lore from like a year ago #i made them recently! but like i can't make myself be interested in the recent stuff idk why #i barely even watched the tom simons nyu charity stuff even tho it's right up my alley just agh #it also doesn't help that i've been editing more and when i edit i prefer to watch stuff like video essays #plus a lot of the early mutuals i made in this fandom have moved onto other interests or left tumblr #either they got busy or they moved on naturally or the drama became too much #and its weird bc usually when i lose interest in smth its so clear to me that im losing interest but here it's just not #dont rb but replies are encouraged ! psychoanalyze me

[catboyolli]

⭐

#vent post #i had a terrible day at work today but someone just messaged me via teams to tell me that he and the team are very grateful for my help 🥺 #and now i'm crying of course lol #i've been having a bad time thanks to a new hire in the team that doesn't have any manners and thinks i'm a chatbot instead of a coworker #i gave the trainings and i'm the main point of contact whenever he has any questions (very often which is expected as he sets in the role) #but sometimes he doesn't even say hello or good morning or hi or anything. just the question and expects me to have the answer #and i understand that social stuff and cues are hard (it happens to me as well) but this chatbox treatment makes me feel kinda dehumanized #i would expect it from people from other countries but not from someone from my country like cmon dude 💀 #plus he doesn't have any manners. like today i was looking something up in a db for him and it took me quite a while+ #when i didn't reply for a long time (because i was busy looking up the damn thing) he messages me: 'so?' #like. no buddy just no. but welp it's nice to feel appreciated by someone after being treated like this today 💖💗💕💕 #btw he's just 1 year younger than me so this isn't a kid fresh out of school not in touch with the working environment. this is a man #and probably libertarian 💀