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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years

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Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, part 9.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like a scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: Y’all thought that I’m dead? I am back, bitcheees. Also, I want you to listen to a song Fly Me To The Moon by Bobby Womack because it influenced the ending a lot.

Warnings: You are not going to be pleased about what Fezco has to confess. Also revealing a bit of Fran’s past, so some big angst and sadness.

Word Count: 3.7 K

Read the rest here, babe: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Tagging: @charmed-asylum (I wasn't going tagging with this shit, but I just wanted to let ya know, bro), @jeyramarie, @pantherxrogers

There's a lot of things from your growing up that you completely forget as time passes by. There's only so little that you remember. Probably your first day at high school. Your first kiss. Your first alcohol experience. Your first sex.

And surely that one thing which needs a shit ton of courage. That step. That big, big step right into the lair of adulthood. To have your parents meet the person you love for the first time.

When you're introducing the first one, you're somehow ridiculously nervous - your parents aren't, because they know that most probably they aren't the first and the last love of your life. But that meeting is really important to you. Probably so important that you feel sick and your hands tremble.

You tried to keep your relationship away from the knowledge of your parents for the longest you could. But nobody said that you're good at keeping secrets. Your mom already knew that something's up when she was putting someone's clothes into the washing machine. But she didn't say anything.

Then, you started to go out a lot more often than before. You still were hanging out with Rue, Jules, Lexi and sometimes even Fran, but the truth was that Fezco was taking a good portion of your time.

Sometimes you went to his shop to help him and Ash with the business, sometimes he invited you over to have dinner and watch some movie together. Sometimes you just hung out in the park, he was taking a nap on your booty, taking it as a pillow while you studied. But it was taking you a lot of time to be fair.

The last sign of you having a boyfriend was a hickey. You didn't have any idea of how that happened, but one time you came home from Rue's hangout evening and there was a bright, red hickey. And your mom wasn't blind.

"What's his name? Or hers, I don't judge after Fran's big coming out." - She asked with a playful voice. You were sitting at the table, eating your dinner slowly, but you almost choked at her words. Your eyes almost popped out like if you were a deer in the headlights, you hadn't got any idea of what the fuck you should tell her. - "Come on now, you're with him or her for a long time now. Do they even have something to wear when you took all of their clothes?" - She asked again when you sat there in shock for another minute.

"Fezco. We call him Fezco." - You said quietly. After all that time, you were a part of his life as he slowly told you most of the things step by step. Once, he started with Ash and his past. That got you pretty deep. Life was cruel to them in all of the ways it could.

When you were ready to ask about the back part of his house, he told you about his grandma. Fezco tried his best to explain what happened to her and why he's taking care of her. He owned his grandma everything he had. Sometime later he told you what was the reason for him dropping out of school. He was a complex person with a colorful past, which made you sad, to say at least.

"So you have a boyfriend. I see." - Your mom giggled. Sometimes you two were arguing, those arguments were heated and loud, but which parent who had a normal relationship with their child didn't argue with them at some point? And sometimes you were just best friends, like at that moment. - "Is he younger? Older? Hope he's not like... Forty."

"Mom!" - You cried out loud. This conversation was just embarrassing at that point. - "He's five years older than me."

"That's nice, so he's an adult. I'm expecting that he has his thoughts and priorities set straight. How much handsome he is?" - She asked the next question very blatantly, without giving a single shit about your nervousness.

"Oh, you have no idea." - You sighed dreamily. Your mom was thrilled.

"I got that feeling when I met your dad. He was fuckable to say at least." - She giggled and your brain went on an automatic shut down. Your mom, a Christian lady in her best years, just told you that she thought about fucking your dad. You didn't know if you were more shocked or more amused. She certainly was happy that you have a boy - since Fran's 'first time' was a girl, but she put too much effort.

"That's enough. I'm ending the conversation right here." - You stuttered and got up to get the plate into the sink.

"Ok. Say to Fez that we'll be having lasagna this Sunday. He should come and say hi." - And that was the official moment you were fucked. Before you even got a chance to pull your shit together, Fran was making fun of you for being so obvious. You could keep that relationship secret for at least other few months before your parents would find out.

"But obviously, ya the clumsiest little shit ever, aren't ya, sis?" - Fran asked with her laptop on her thighs, smoking a joint and eating a load of cookies in the process. What? She was hungry as fuck when she was stoning her ass the hell out. - "And I'm curious about dat mysterious boy as well."

To be honest, you didn't know that Fezco is dealing. You had no idea at that point. You may hear some talks, but you weren't sure. And Fran didn't know that her dealer is your boyfriend. And if you had any idea that all of those worlds will collapse and explode, becoming one and new. Agatha Christie couldn't write a better plot twist.

Your last chance at that point was Fezco. You were praying for him not wanting to go on your family meeting - but that fucker was all positive about that. You didn't ask further questions, but it was because he hadn't a normal family on his own, so he wanted to meet yours. Secretly, he was eager for that meeting to happen three days prior.

"You look like a normal, subtle boy. Jesus. Can we get out of the car, for god's sake?" - You mumbled to him nervously. Your mom was taking the meeting really seriously - she ordered you to take a dress and some nice shoes and Fezco was aboard with that idea. He took the white shirt and black tuxedo pants that he got on your first date.

"Ya really think dat ya ma gonna like the bowl we bought?" - Fezco asked as he undid the seatbelt. At that point, he was just messing with you. The worst part was that you knew it. He loved the nervous you because you couldn't sit still and you mumbled all the time. You were cute as hell.

"Fuck that bowl and let's go. I want it to end already." - You got out and he did as well with a confident chuckle. You weren't too far from murdering him at the spot at that moment. Fezco looked like a fucking piece of cake, a delight to be around, and that made everything even worse for you. How someone so muted and... How was he able to pull off those looks so easily? It was fucking you up.

"Geez, chill. It's going to be just fine, baby girl. Ya will see." - He smiled at you and kissed your temple. Your mom was already opening the door for you when he saw you and a slim, nice looking boy by your side. Of course, she had her dark violet dress on.

Your dad was looking just fine. But you knew he ain't too happy about you bringing a boy to his house. You were his little girl and while he was ready to take Fran as the irresponsible adult she was, you were the sweet one who was never supposed to grow up. And yet, there you were, shining in your glory with a nervous smile on your lips.

Your mom made even Fran and Cal dress up too. Cal loved dressing up for an occasion since he was a little kid, but you were sure as hell that your mom was holding a knife under Fran’s throat to make her do it.

The actual introduction went without further problems. Your mom was kind and nice to him, he also had a big plus because of the bowl he bought, your dad had an unnatural expression on his face and Cal was pulling off his best words. But when Fez was offering his hand to Fran, her face got paler as she shook it.

Something wasn't adding up. She watched Fezco without a word, without a single emotion in her face - it was like if she was looking at a ghost. That wasn’t your Fran at all.

The dinner was quite nice, which you didn't expect at all. Your mom pulled off the best lasagna in the whole world, Fezco tried his best to speak formally for that one evening and Cal was constantly asking him stupid questions. Only Fran was sitting quietly on the other side of the table, playing with her food with a fork, she wasn't speaking that much. That was bugging you off so much.

Sometime after the dinner was over and your mom and dad were preparing the sweet dessert in the kitchen while they chattered loud about Fezco being an overall nice boy, you couldn't overhear his conversation with Fran. It was more a whisper shouting argument than a conversation.

“And how da fuck was I supposed to know, Fran? Ya aren't a single shitty bit similar.” - Fezco answered something she said and you heard her sigh loudly before she thought of her answer.

“Ya could just ask me, fuck! Hey, isn't Y/N your sibling or somethin’? And yeah, man, we’re dating by the way. That would do the fuckin’ trick. ” - She answered. You listened to them with a serious, thoughtful face.

“Fran, there isn't another Fezco in this fuckin’ town.” - He whisper-shouted back. - “I'm gonna tell you diz: I'm in love with that girl. She doesn't know shit. I'm trying to keep her away from dat shit. I swear to ya, I'm doin’ ma best.”

“What are you two doing?” - You interrupted them, taking Fezcos side without further thinking, his hand automatically gripping your side. - “Seems like you have a serious conversation. What's that about? You know each other?”

“Go on, Texas. Tell her right in front of me.” - Fran told him with a furious face. Fez looked down for a moment before he glanced on your scared face for a moment.

“Just promise ya will not lose your shit, okay?” - He carefully put his palms on your shoulders. You glanced at Fran's angry face once again before diving into the gaze of his eyes. - “Ya promise?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I promise. Can you tell me what is going on?” - You took hold at one of his hands, gulping out loud. You were nervous as fuck at the exact moment.

“Okay, here goes nothin’. I deal. I deal every fuckin’ shit you can think of. I was the one who dealt the shit to Rue, I'm the one who is dealing weed to Fran. I have a lot of kiddos coming to me regularly, to be honest.” - He spoke quietly and softly, having tears in his baby blue eyes. You were fucking out of your mind at that moment, you were just too shocked to lose everything and snap.

Fezco was a fucking drug dealer. He was probably dealing at every party that you went to together. Just moments before kissing the shit out of you, he was selling drugs to somebody.

But also knew that you need to remain as calm as possible. You were in your very own house, your parents were three rooms away, preparing something for a sweet tooth. So you just stood there with your mouth opened, staring Fezco down.

“This isn't some fucking joke, is it?” - You spoke after a long minute. There was shit exploding inside you - Rue had OD herself. And now you knew who have done it to her. It was your very own fucking boyfriend, the one who was looking in the eyes at the very moment. Great. Just fucking great. - "Ok. We'll play like nothing's happening. We're in my parent's house, so we'll be acting like adults. But we'll have a loong discussion, you fucking bet." - You hissed to Fezco. You weren't using curse words so much, so he knew that he had fucked up, plus your hurt look? That was fucking something.

You did exactly what you intended to do. You and Fezco played the perfect couple for the rest of the night, smiling and laughing at what your parents said. But on the inside, you were ready to snap at any given chance. Fezco was a lucky guy - he found himself a girl which was reasonable and smart to say at least. And who was beautiful and nice as well.

He was on fire the whole night, his hand tensing on your thigh at a few moments. He was afraid that you'll leave him because of it.

Fezco was exactly who your parents always told you to avoid. The bad boy, someone who was nice on the outside, but rotten inside. But that wasn't true, you realized. Fezco, your Fezco, was a wonderful, gentle young man who would give anything up just to make you happy. You were torn inside - he was doing something illegal.

Even though your parents were telling you to cut those people off, you were madly in love with that boy. And he confessed to Fran that he's in love with you as well. You were very angry with him for not telling you. You were supposed to be a couple without those poisoning secrets and yet, he kept the biggest away from you.

The inside your head was almost unbearable. One voice was telling you to immediately break up with him because he was doing such bullshit. But the second voice was reasoning with you about his qualities. You needed to talk to him about his dirty business. You were strangely sure that he can explain himself.

It was bittersweet when he was leaving. He held you tight like it was the last time he was able to see you. That kiss didn't have his usual spark and taste and you looked... Surprised and let down. Your smile wasn't even that big when the door closed. But your mom wanted to chat with you so hard that Die Hard had nothing on her.

"That young man is so... Nice. Maybe a bit out of this world, but what do I know, right?" - She handed you a root beer and you glanced over Fran who stood in the doorframe with teary eyes.

As soon as he told you, she realized how shitty her move even was. Fran would swear that at that one moment she could feel every emotion you were feeling for that guy. That love was warm, fuzzy and raw like nothing she saw you feeling before. Until that moment, you shined with confidence and gentle manners for your man. But after the confrontation? You were different, distant and lost in your own thoughts.

She was glad that you finally knew everything about Fezco, but she wanted to take all of it back. She hurt you. And that was something bigger sisters aren't supposed to do. She was about to cry, so she went to her room so she could get all of it out.

"Do you like him?" - You asked your mom as you helped her with washing the dishes. She nudged your side playfully.

"It isn't what I and dad expected, not gonna lie, but I like the way he listens to you and how he feels you. Not only physically, but mentally. We had the feeling that he's answering directly on your thoughts at moments." - She sighed with a slight smile. - "You're in love with very, very much, am I right?"

You sighed as well. What should you tell her? Yes, you were, but to be honest, you were madder than in love at that moment. You needed to be alone for a few days. Maybe hang out with Jules and read some articles online with her, or watch animated movies and Love Island with Rue. No Fezco for at least a week. That should give him time to think it through as well.

"Yeah, I've fallen hard." - You said quietly, concentrating on the dishes in your hand.

"We've been like you and Fran, and how Cal will be, Y/N. I and dad. We were young when we have met and we did some good things... And some bad things, but we did them together. That love never left me. And you... You should let it blossom inside of you until you can. Harvest it, take care of that feeling, protect it. Maybe it won't work out... But what if it does? Huh? Until you're happy with that boy and until he isn't harming you or your life, we'll support you." - Your mom told seriously all of a sudden. You gave her a long look and you felt as your eyes watered. - "I'm sorry that he doesn't have parents. But when we get to know him better, he can be a part of our family. Now he's a stranger who is dating our baby girl. But we like that stranger. Alright?"

You just hugged her with your wet hands, crying at that moment. You were so grateful that the people who raised you were so wise, and that they loved you. No matter what life path you chose, they were by your side - supporting you when you did something you were happy about and nursing you when the sadness fell on your shoulder.

That night, your window stayed shut as you layed down on your bed and watched the ceiling. Your door was locked and the only sound in the room was your breathing and quiet music coming out of your earbuds.

Fly Me To the Moon. Your safe song. Your and Fran’s save song. The one who was always supposed to hold you up, on the top of the water surface. But at that moment, the song felt so heavy as your eyes cried by their own will.

Memories were flashing in front of your eyes so fast you couldn’t even catch them properly to feel those little, magical moments. Your first ice-skating, when Fran held your waist and you both laughed. You were six. The first time when she tried to put make-up on your waist and then you stole mom’s high heels. You were eight at that point. The moment when she stole candy from the store because you wanted some and you were crying because mom refused to buy you some. You were five.

The first time she stoned herselft and vomitted all over the terrace, back in Arizona. When she came home drunk and just came out to your parents, yelling it out loud to your father’s face. She yelled that she is a dike and he yelled at her to calm down, they had a huge argument that night. The first time you and dad went to pick up Fran to the police station because she had beaten down the boy who was bullying you at school. You just turned fifteen that day. The first day she got excluded out of college for the first time because she sometimes couldn't keep her shit together.

The bad things started to mix with the good ones - you and Fran singing Fly Me To The Moon when you were doing dishes, dancing. Next flash: Fran sobering in the bathroom before she fainted. Blood poisoning. She went to rehab for some time. Next memory: you playing Scrabble and she was cheating so much it made you laugh. Then a next one came - Fran, totally drunk out of her mind, begging you not being like her, crying like a little girl, phlegm dripping out of her nose, holding your arms and head and mumbling it over and over and over again. She told you that you have so much bigger potential she will ever have.

Fran had her bad, rotten side and moments. But sometimes it seemed like she is far over all of it. But then it usually came again - she drunk her ass down, she cheated on a test or... She was doing so much bullshit. But you loved her no matter what.

And the same feeling you had for Fezco. Even he was flashing in front of your eyes - you and him dancing to some song in the shop while Rue laughed loudly, a kiss behind the ear when you were too occupied with watching the movie, those night in your bed when you just chatted about everything and nothing, making you giggle, feeling so happy. And then the freshest memory came up. Him being a fucking dealer.

All the memories took a strange, bad turn at one moment and you just layed there while your phone buzzed every five minutes - either it was Fez trying to call you or text you, whether it was Rue who got to know what happened just minutes after Fezco left your home or Jules who was worried as hell.

You didn’t feel like responding. You just wanted to be left alone while you cried and flown to the moon.

#fezco euphoria #fezco x reader #fezco hbo #fezco imagine #fez euphoria #fezco #fez #euphoria series #fly me to the moon #remember kids #nobody’s a saint #and yet you love them #rue bennett #jules euphoria #jules vaughn #rue euphoria

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pocketfullaflowers · 4 years

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Don’t Think Twice

Namine thinks it’s time to get something off her chest. She refuses to let a past she can’t change control a future she can.

“I want you for a lifetime So if you’re gonna think twice, baby I don’t wanna know, baby, I don’t wanna know”

You can read on Tumblr, or here on AO3.

“So, where do you wanna go?” Xion asked.

Namine had asked Xion to take her to Twilight Town, but hadn’t given any further explanation. Xion didn’t mind, she loved this place, and hanging out with Namine was always fun, so she was going along with it. The two were walking down Station Heights, Xion always enjoyed the feeling of the afternoon sun on her face.

“O-Oh, I don’t know wherever you wanna go, I guess.” Namine looked visibly nervous, wringing her hands together and barely meeting her eyes, and that confused Xion. They were friends, right? Friends hang out all the time, that’s what Axel said at least. Xion shook her head, there were so many parts about being a Somebody that she still didn’t understand.

“Well,” Xion said, letting the word linger on her lips, “We could always get ice cream and go to the clock tower. Who knows, maybe Hayner, Pence, and Olette could join us.”

“No!” Namine paused as her face reddened, “I mean, um, let’s try somewhere else?”

“Okay? If you have somewhere in mind, Namine, I’d be more than happy to join you, but you have to tell me.”

“Ah, um…” Namine paused again, and took a deep breath, “Just, follow me?”

Xion shrugged, “Cool, you lead.”

The two wove through the afternoon crowds milling around the tram common, children darted this way and that with their friends in tow while shopkeepers advertised their wares. Xion wasn’t paying attention to where they were going, and nearly bumped into Namine when she stopped. They were far from the crowds now, down a side street that led nowhere.

“Um, Nami? Where exactly are we going?”

Namine sighed, “I promise I have a plan, but we need to go down to the sewers.”

Xion’s eyebrows shot up, “O–kay?” She said, and rocked back on her heels, “Still not gonna tell me where we’re going?”

Namine chuckled a little, “You’ll see, I promise it’ll be worth it. Just… plug your nose?”

The two slowly made their way through the sewers, being careful not to step in any trash or puddles. It was dark, and Xion felt on edge, she knew there was nothing to fear, but she summoned her keyblade, just in case. They heard rustling up ahead and Xion ran in front of Namine and fired off a fire spell just in time to see it miss a very agitated rat.

Xion blushed and rubbed her neck, “Whoops?”

Namine giggled, “You’re my hero, huh?” She took Xion’s hand, “C’mon, it’s not much further, just stick by me.”

Xion blushed further, glad for the darkness surrounding them. Light up ahead signaled the end of the tunnel. The two climbed out of the tunnel and were instantly surrounded by the soft smell of dirt and grass. Xion looked up and saw tall trees filtering the soft afternoon light above them.

“This is…” Xion’s mouth hung open.

“The woods next to the old mansion, yeah. They filled up the hole in the wall, so I had to find another way to get here, sorry about the sewer.” Namine chuckled.

“But… Why?”

“You’ll see, follow me.” Namine grabbed Xion’s hand again and led her through the woods.

The last time Xion had been here had been right before she died, when she had fought Axel. GIven the choice of dying as a puppet or dying on her own terms, she had chosen the latter. In the end, that didn’t matter, though. She had been faithful to her master to the very end. Xion smiled ruefully. Namine, as though sensing her friend’s dark mood squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

The two walked in silence until they reached the mansion.

Xion’s eyes widened, “Namine, wha-” There was a red checkered blanket laid down in the courtyard of the mansion. On top of the blanket was a basket and a guitar case.

“It’s a picnic! Olette told me about them, you sit on the ground and eat!” Namine was practically vibrating with excitement, “I asked them to set it up before we got here so I could surprise you.”

“But… Why would we want to sit on the ground? And why would you want to surprise me?”

Namine shrugged, “She said it makes the food taste better, c’mon!”

Xion noted that Namine didn’t answer her other question as she joined her on the ground. Namine opened the basket and passed out food and plates. Grapes, cheese, finger sandwiches, strawberries and crackers, too. They had orange juice to drink, in fancy wine flutes that Namine said came from Pence. Namine was right, food did taste better sitting on the ground.

After they had eaten, Namine brought out the guitar and began strumming softly, humming along to a tuneless song. Xion laid next to her and let her eyes go soft, almost dozing. She didn’t even know Namine could play guitar, but she was quickly finding there were many things about her friend she didn’t know.

Xion sat up, “Not that I’m not loving this, but why did you bring me here? Why a picnic?”

Namine flushed and put the guitar to the side, “Well… we both have so many awful memories of this place, and I’m tired of letting a past I can’t change control my life. I just thought, if I had a happy memory here, it might help.”

Xion nodded, “I guess I understand that, but why with me? Why not Riku? He was here longer and spent more time with you and Ansem than I did.”

Namine’s face resembled a tomato, “Ah, well,” She took a deep breath, “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that living with the Organization was hell. They used me only for my abilities, I was nothing to them. I was so lonely, I let them use me to do horrible things. It was all I ever knew.”

Namine paused, “And then I met DiZ, and he saw me as just another tool, just another way to get what he wanted. But I was free, and that’s all that mattered.” Namine looked towards the mansion, to her window, “It’s another white room, just like the castle. He kept me there to remind me of my place.”

She looked back at Xion, “And then I met you, and it was almost worse knowing that I had to destroy you.” Namine’s face turned dark, “With all the powers I possess, I cannot keep even one piece of the being called you connected, I remember saying that and wishing I could go in your place. In the end, it didn’t matter, did it? You were destroyed and I returned to Kairi, and that was supposed to be the end of the story.”

She looked down and Xion saw the tears in her eyes, Xion grabbed her friend’s hand as Namine opened her mouth to speak again, “But it’s not the end of the story, we’re both back, we have our own lives to live now, and I don’t want to live mine being afraid of my past, or who I am, because the truth is, Xion, you’re only everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I love you, and I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I just needed you to know.”

Xion gaped at her friend, not believing her ears. Then she burst out into laughter, feeling bad when Namine’s face drooped. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Xion said, wiping tears off her face, “It’s just, you must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?”

Namine opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say.

Xion shook her head, “Nami, I love you, too.”

“Oh.” Namine’s face was curiously blank until– “Oh… Oh. ” Hot tears brewed at the insides of her eyes.

Xion leaned forward, wiping the tears off Namine’s face, “Namine, what’s wrong? Hey, it’s okay.”

Namine started to laugh, too, “I’m sorry, I’m only crying ‘cause I never dreamed it’d take this long for me to get the courage to ask you, I never even imagined you liking me back.”

The two smiled at each other, Xion risked a look down at her lips and Namine realized how close they were to each other. She flushed brightly.

“I don’t bite.” Xion’s breath was hot on her face.

“I know.” Namine closed her eyes and leaned in, sighing into the kiss.

Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times

Cross the line

0o0o0o

“Yes!” Olette quietly cheered from the bush she, Pence, and Hayner were hiding in.

“Ugh, can we go now, my legs are asleep.” Hayner complained.

“I ran out of snacks ages ago.” Pence said.

Olette smiled at her boys, “Fine, fine, let’s give them some privacy. Think of is this way; now we won’t have to listen to them whine about their unrequited love anymore.”

“You just like playing matchmaker.” Hayner said.

“Guilty as charged!” Olette smiled at him.

“Guys, c’mon, let’s go to the clock tower, this is lame.” Pence said.

Hayner smiled and took off, “Last one to get an ice cream is a rotten egg!”

“Hey, no fair!” Olette and Pence ran off after him, leaving their friends to finish their picnic in peace.

#namixi #namine #xion #hayner #pence #olette #kingdom hearts #fanfic #archive of our own #the flower speaks

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blissfulnightrain · 4 years

Text

It’s been a while since I’ve shared any of my writing, hasn’t it?

Here’s a piece I wrote the other day, a canon-compliant fic set in KHII featuring the experiences of Axel and Naminé’s, and how they brought the two of them together.

If you prefer FFN or AO3, it is available there as well!

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Memories of Promises

Words: 1941

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Twilight sky, cotton candy clouds, and Ansem - no, Riku, she had to keep reminding herself - disappeared behind a smoky veil of black and blue.

She was no stranger to the Dark Corridors, having been in them numerous times before. It was thrilling, in a way. They’d been her means of travel with DiZ when they first escaped Castle Oblivion - the first time she’d ever been outside the confines of its labyrinth of white walls. Unbeknownst to her what their ultimate destination was at the time, she daydreamed, bright-eyed, about what they might find on the other side. Would it be some sort of tropical isle? Maybe an arid desert laden with bazaars and the rare oasis? Or perhaps an underwater realm populated with rainbows of fish and all kinds of other sea creatures as far as the eye could see? These were, after all, just a fraction of the many places she’d seen among Sora’s memories.

Naive was just one of the many words she could have used to describe herself. It had been foolish of her to expect great sights, or even think that she was worthy of any sort of adventure with the task she had at hand. The mansion may have been in a different world, but every morning she was still greeted by the same white walls and the same boy whose life she’d stolen a year away from.

She got a taste of what life outside those walls might be like during those last seven days. In a race to finish getting Sora’s memories back intact, she had to get out there, get in touch with Roxas. The virtual Twilight Town was just as beautiful as she imagined the real one was, perpetually bathed in the same reds and yellows of the setting sun that she’d always see illuminating the lawn and broken pillars littering the view from her window. She kept having to remind herself that none of it was real, that Roxas was the only thing that truly existed in that digital realm.

The warmth of his hand in hers when she’d when she reached into the darkness after him…

What looked like pain in his cerulean eyes, when she repeated DiZ’s words, that he was never meant to exist…

...Everything about him was real, genuine, despite what DiZ said.

And he still was, even though his physical form disappeared after he finally rejoined with Sora - like hers would when the inevitable time for her to rejoin her own Other would come, too.

At least, that was what she believed.

But that didn’t appear to matter to DiZ now that Sora was awake again. His memories restored, Naminé’s calling was fulfilled, and he had no need for her anymore. She was useless, only a nuisance now at best. Riku’s mercy was the only thing keeping her alive now. And so, here she was, alone in the Realm of Darkness.

“So, just you and me from here on out, huh?” Alone with Axel.

This wasn’t her first time getting acquainted with the fiery redhead. Their first meeting pre-dated the events at the Castle and the domino effect that occurred thereafter. He had been the captors that held her hostage to do their bidding, who’d convinced her to use her powers to cause the whole mess in the first place. Though, Axel wasn’t quite like the others.

He’d set her free to move about, allowing herself to follow her...whatever the driving force behind her decision-making was. And it was because of him she’d met Sora in the flesh in the first place.

She hadn’t seen Axel since then, so meeting him again now was quite strange. Much had transpired since then, that she was aware of. Restoring Sora’s memories meant she’d had to sift through Roxas's as well, and she’d seen, over the year, how the light and flickering flame of their friendship had grown.

What Axel was feeling now, if anything at all, she couldn’t quite say. His expression was hard to discern; gone was the playful, rather arrogant mask he always wore around the Castle, revealing solemn emerald eyes set above those tear-shaped markings underneath.

“So…” she began rather awkwardly, their words echoing despite the lack of walls or structures in this realm.

“Thank you.”

“Huh?”

“For taking care of him.” He looked up, quickly noticing her puzzled expression. “Of Roxas.”

“Nobody would miss me.” Roxas's back was turned to him, barely visible under the cloak of his Organization uniform and the looming night sky of The World that Never Was. Axel’s face grew wet, but it was the pitter-pattering against the concrete streets that told him that rain had begun to fall.

It was foolish of him to think the sensation hailed from anything otherwise - he would have needed a heart to cry, after all.

He could only stand and watch as his best friend disappeared into the night rain, chasing after the answers he hoped resided in its mist. Answers that Axel already knew, but couldn’t relay himself.

Cowardice was what a Somebody might call it.

“You did the thing I wanted, but couldn’t bring myself to do,” he continued. “Not until it was too late, anyway.” He looked straight into her indigo eyes. “You had the guts to tell him the truth.”

She pushed strands of her wispy blonde hair behind her ear, finding herself needing to take a step back under his rather intense stare. “Only because...it was what he wanted. Even though...” The pained expression in those cerulean eyes flashed in her mind once more. “...it ended up hurting him.”

“He deserved to know.” Axel’s shoulders were slumped, gaze averted. “He deserved to make his own choice in the end.”

“As do we all,” Naminé agreed, clutching her sketchbook close to her chest. A few somber moments passed between them.

“So, you said there was someone you wanted to go see,” Axel inquired, finally breaking the silence. Naminé looked up; gone was the glazed-over haze that clouded his features, replaced by the return of that impish grin he’d always worn around the Castle. The same mischievous look he’d given her the first time he’d let her go free… “Now who might that be?”

Her sketchbook was still turned to the page she’d been glancing at before, seated against the grain of that wooden park bench and under Riku’s watchful gaze. The shadows of the Realm of Darkness now obscured the white space of the canvas that Twilight Town’s setting sun previously illuminated, but the scribbled forms of Sora and Roxas still stood tall, hand in hand, in its center.

“Given the way things are, I think putting my munny on Sora’s a good bet, wouldn’t ya say?” Naminé let out a gasp, only suddenly aware of Axel’s tall, lean frame looming over her.

“We made a promise,” Naminé explained once she’d regained her composure.

“A promise, huh?”

“Yes. But...”

“When I wake up, I’ll find you,” Sora began, standing in front of the pod he didn’t know he’d be spending his next year in. “And then there’ll be no lies. We’re gonna be friends for real. Promise me, Naminé.” She remembered the warmth of his calloused pinky entwined with hers - a physical symbol of that promise, Sora had explained.

She’d smiled then, but that wasn’t the expression she bore on her face now.

“You’re going to forget making that promise,” she’d explained to him. And though he denied it then…

“‘Thank Naminé,” Jiminy chirped, reviewing the memo he’d left behind before he’d been put to sleep along with Sora. Now finally awake, Sora simply stood between Donald and Goofy, the three of them shaking their heads, not a single spark of recognition in any of their eyes.

It had been foolish of her to hope otherwise, and yet the truth still stung. Part of her wondered what might happen if she did go through and reunite with him, but she knew better. If Roxas couldn’t remember Axel, his best friend, while imprisoned in the Data Twilight Town, why would Sora remember her, now an insignificant speck who’d been more of a nuisance than anything in the time he’d known her?

But there was another promise she’d made, one that was already half fulfilled. Roxas had gone back to Sora, whole again, as Naminé had guaranteed. Now, she had to make good on the last half.

“Roxas!” she cried, staving off DiZ’s grasp as he tried to drag her through another dark corridor. “We will meet again, and then we can talk about everything. I may not know it’s you, and you may not know it’s me. But we will meet again. Someday soon. I promise!”

If she ever wanted to see either of them again, this was not the form she could meet them in.

“Roxas isn’t the only one who needed to go back to where he came from.” Naminé flipped her sketchbook closed, now holding it against her stomach.

“Don’t tell me…” Axel’s jaw was clenched, his fists shaking harder and harder as she’d relayed her true resolve. “You’re going to throw your life away, too?”

“A life that was never meant to exist in the first place. Just like Roxas's.”

“You really believe that?!” She could have sworn embers began to glow and swirl around his body, his shoulders tightening even further. Still, she stood steadfast.

“I never had a right to exist. And by doing so...look what’s happened. I messed up so much for so many people, and Roxas paid the price, too…”

“You were our prisoner!” Axel only grew more exasperated. “You only ‘messed’ things up because we told you to!”

“And you only told me to because of this power I have,” she shot back calmly. “A power that’ll be much better done away with now that Sora’s memories are restored.” Another moment of silence passed, though tension weighed heavily in the air. She held her breath when Axel opened his mouth once more.

“You’ve never actually had a taste of freedom before, have you?” Axel broke the silence once again. His tone was much calmer this time, devoid of the fiery passion she feared might burst into flames earlier.

She looked up at him, curiosity now simmering beneath her deep blue eyes. “Freedom?” she parrotted, the word leaving a foreign, indiscernible flavor on her tongue.

Now Axel was the one dumbfounded. Everything in her tone, her body language, demanded an explanation of the concept, and yet…

All his years as a Nobody had been spent serving under the Superior, until now.

A rogue agent, he...was truly free for the first time himself, wasn’t he?

“Well,” he began, his words now brimming with newfound purpose, “we’re gonna figure that out together.” He turned, his back now towards her as he began to step forward. “And I’m gonna bring him back. So he can taste freedom too.”

“What?”

“Come on, you can’t think it’s fair? You and me, finally free to do what we want, while Roxas is trapped and hidden away? You say he made the choice, but you think this is what he really wanted?”

Naminé pondered over his words for a moment, finding herself not completely disagreeing. Had the circumstances been different, would Roxas have made the same choice?

Would she?

“...Even if we could, how would we - ?”

“We’ll find a way,” he assured her, tone full of resolve. Axel marched onwards, and Naminé was forced to decide whether or not to catch up with him.

What “freedom” truly was, Naminé still did not fully understand, but the choice behind her next step was hers to make.

#Axel #Naminé #Roxas #Sora #Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts fanfiction #KH fanfic #blissfulnightrainwrites #thanks for taking the time for reading my crappy writing #long post

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nadziejastar · 4 years

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Can you think of other characters besides Riku, Terra and Isa who might have a 'Shadow self' and 'supressed feelings'?

“Master Eraqus, you see, is so afraid of darkness that he, too, has succumbed—not to darkness, but to light. It shines so brightly, he forgets that light begets darkness.”

It’s sad how underdeveloped a lot of the characters are. Fortunately, we’re gonna get Dark Road pretty soon, which will flesh out Xehanort and Eraqus a lot. I think Eraqus had a very strong Shadow Self and a lot of suppressed feelings. He was so afraid of darkness, it caused him to turn on his own pupils and miss vital warning signs that Terra needed support.

*Sigh*, it was so much better when I had no heart. When I didn’t have to worry about things like liking someone.

Becoming fond of something is painful. That’s why those feelings were taken advantage of.

Larxene definitely had a strong Shadow Self. Unfortunately, she didn’t get much backstory during the Xehanort Saga. But obviously, her issue had to do with love. Larxene wanted love, but she was suppressing that desire. She pushed people away and acted cold to protect herself, like Elsa. She had been hurt in the past.

Namine was originally thought of as Kairi’s Shadow Self. I think Namine was supposed to be the manifestation of Kairi’s suppressed feelings. Kairi was left alone at the end of KH1 while Sora went on other adventures. She felt useless and forgotten about by everyone. Her two childhood friends were gone. She was lonely. Of course, since Kairi is a Princess of Heart, even her Shadow Self is still really pure-hearted and bright.

Are you really worthy of being a Keyblade Master?

Obviously Aqua developed a strong Shadow Self after being in the Realm of Darkness.

Is there any point in continuing this fight?

Her Shadow Self voiced all her fears.

You'll never see the Realm of Light again.

And all her doubts.

Just let go of everything and fade into the darkness.

She felt hopelessness and despair.

No one can save you. And no one wants to.

She didn’t even think anyone wanted to save her.

Your bonds of friendship only tie you down.

My favorite of Shadow Aqua’s lines has to be this one. All of her other ones are pretty much what you’d expect. But this one sounds so out-of-character for her. She’d never EVER say that out loud. It was definitely a suppressed feeling.

Only your heart is hollow enough to be a demon's.

But part of here DID feel like her bonds only brought her down. And she felt guilty for feeling that way.

Ansem the Wise had a strong Shadow Self. DiZ was nothing but a persona to hide his shame. He convinced himself that he was acting as a servant of the world when deep down, he knew he wasn’t. Of course, Ansem the Wise didn’t get fully developed, either. I’m sure there was a story there in KH0.5 where it would show his whole backstory, how he got banished, how he became DiZ, and how he came to be remorseful enough to put his data inside of Sora’s heart while he was asleep.

Sora is...complicated. Too complicated, which is probably why it didn’t really go anywhere.

The figure at the center of the room glanced up at him, and Roxas flinched at being caught staring. But though the hood kept the wearer’s eyes hidden, Roxas could see a smile. Something was so familiar about it, but he couldn’t think of where he would have seen it before. There were so many things he couldn’t remember about these last seven days. It hadn’t scared him before—but now it did a little.

When Xion was born she looked up at Roxas with a creepy smile. I think Xion was born of Sora’s Replica/Shadow Self, who also had a creepy smile. Xion wasn’t a unique character any more than Riku Replica was. She was a Sora Replica. Riku Replica is Riku’s Shadow Self. Xion is Sora’s Shadow Self. Xion can even wield a Keyblade from the Dark Realm (Two Keys).

Roxas was also the bright one, while Xion was the more “dark” and pessimistic one. Roxas was optimistic and didn’t worry or think too deeply about stuff. He always thought Xion could come back to the organization and everything would be fine. He was pretty simple, like Sora. Xion was the moody angsty one who questioned her existence all the time. She felt like a burden on Axel and especially Roxas. Roxas always helped her out. And at the end, she was sucking his power from him. She felt like she didn’t deserve to exist.

Once Roxas absorbed Xion, that’s when he became the angsty person everyone remembers from KH2. Before that, he was pure and bright, like Ventus. It was only after Xion disappeared that he became so “dark” and angry.

Like Namine, Roxas was originally meant to just be Sora’s Shadow Self, nothing more. But he evolved into his own unique character with his own heart (Ventus). I think Nomura originally wanted to use the connection between Sora and Ventus to develop both Ven’s and Sora’s darker sides, but he never really got the chance. KH3′s story was a mess and Xion and Vanitas really didn’t amount to much other than being needlessly convoluted. Vanitas didn’t have any depth at all. But he was supposed to be Ven’s darkness as well as the shadow that Sora cast.

Ventus is Sora’s darkness. Sora’s powerful light was the reason why his heart was a prison to him.

Roxas: I hate you so much...

DiZ: You should share some of that hatred with Sora. He's far too nice for his own good.

Roxas: No! My heart belongs to me!

His heart couldn’t wake up because Sora’s light was casting too large of a shadow on him. Sora’s light only fueled his anger and pain and pushed him further into the darkness.

Sora was supposed to do something to awaken the darkness in him in order to wake Roxas/Ventus up, but of course that subplot went absolutely nowhere.

“But why would you advise me not to fight darkness with light?”

The Fairy Godmother replied, gentle but admonishing. “Strong rays of sun create dark shadows. Sadly, Lady Tremaine and both her daughters are jealous of Cinderella’s charm and beauty, qualities that appear to you as ‘light.’ Jealousy is darkness. Light and dark go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.”

I think the idea was that when someone is in a lot of pain, you can’t truly connect with their heart just by being “light”. You need to be able to meet them where they are---in the darkness.

Riku didn’t preach to Dark Aqua about letting go of her misery and despair. He could empathize with how she felt because he had his own darkness. And I think THAT’S what Sora needed in order to be the real hero. His light wasn’t enough. He needed to enhance his darkness in order to really be empathetic and wake Ventus up. But that never really happened.

Perhaps it’s why Nomura said he cannot empathize with Sora and he relates more to dark characters like Xehanort. Sora was too bright for him in the end. It’s why he wouldn’t have made a good Seeker of Darkness.

Nomura probably relates to Riku more. The closer Riku got to Sora’s light, the greater his shadow became.

“You’re talking like I’m some kind of creature of the darkness.”

But it was true that he’d turned away from the light.

No—not from the light exactly. From Sora.

Because Sora shone too brightly… And then, he became the hero of light, and I gave myself over to the darkness.

Like Roxas/Ventus, Riku couldn’t tolerate Sora’s strong light because it fueled the darkness inside him. Being around someone so overwhelmingly bright and positive made him feel bad about himself and he became jealous.

“And Aqua and Ventus, their lights shine too bright. It is only natural that they cast shadows on your heart.”

Master Xehanort pointed at Terra’s chest.

The light within Aqua and Ven—created the darkness in me…?

Xehanort probably felt that way about Eraqus, too. I’m sure he had a very strong Shadow Self and was projecting that onto Terra. Ventus and Aqua were too bright and they only fueled Terra’s shadow. Of course, Aqua and Ventus had their own darkness. Aqua threw herself into darkness for Terra. And I think Ventus’s time as Roxas (Sora’s Shadow) was supposed to give him enough development and darkness to truly understand Terra’s pain, so he could be able to properly connect with him and bring him back to the light using the power of waking.

It seemed like you didn't need me either. Yes, I thought that I didn't need you with me anymore. That's why I sacrificed myself to that man. If you didn't need me, then I no longer held meaning.

The greater the light, the darker the shadow. Riku and Terra felt like they were overshadowed by their friends. I think they had a similar idea for Lea and Isa, only a bit different. Riku was jealous of Sora in an envious way. I think Isa was jealous of Lea in a possessive way. And this is why I don’t think Lea would have made a good Seeker of Darkness. He was meant to be the bright one, like Sora. It was part of his character. He did gain a lot of darkness over the course of the story, to make him empathetic enough to reach Isa. But he was a Guardian of Light at his core.

I think Isa felt the same way Xion did. He felt like he was nothing without Lea and had nothing to offer him. He was just a drain on him. Lea was the light, the Sun. Isa was the Moon, the darkness. The Moon can’t create its own light. It is dependent on the Sun and simply reflects its light. And I think that’s how Isa felt about Lea. Lea was the source of his light. He was so happy, positive, outgoing, and cheerful. But Isa felt like he had nothing to offer him. And that’s why Saix became so irrationally jealous when Axel became close to Roxas and Xion.

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mellz117 · 4 years

Text

Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2!

Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.

[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]

It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.

Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that -> ……

Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image

Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote

Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.

SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT

……………………………………………………………………………………………

I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.

IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is!

So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao

In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation.

blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV

He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.

This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.

TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc

This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it

I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.

The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.

A+ dialogue

Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken.

“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.

So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.

I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh

Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.

After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.

“Tell us about the picture thief.”

“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”

You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.

Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like

The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.

In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.

God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.

Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.

We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...

Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.

SKATEBOARD

“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”

Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?

Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!

So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....

But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!

FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW

HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days

Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.

Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!

The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.

These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.

Chicken wuss

WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.

This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING

DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!

Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.

Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL

SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while

IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?

I'm not funny.

Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]

Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.

youtube

#mellz plays kh2 #Kingdom Hearts Series #kingdom hearts 2 #kh2 #PlayStation 2 #square enix #disney #mellz post

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chuplayswithfire · 5 years

Text

By request, this is my bullet point summary of the kingdom hearts series. This hits all of the most major plot points and should prepare the uninitiated to at least understand the things being talked about on their dash

Some things to know:

I'm making this on mobile so I can't cut for length

I do not go into detail on everything, this is, again, to hit those major plot points and get you caught up on the gist

It is 49 points long

1) once there was an age of fairy tales where tons of people collected light to fight darkness. They eventually began to battle each other, had a war, destroyed the world.

2) the world came back

3) way later there was a fuckboy named xehanort who found out about the keyblade war and a power (kingdom hearts) that could theoretically make him god and he wanted it

4) so he became a keyblade master and eventually decided he was too old and would die before he reached his goal and decided to make a new vessel

5) the kid he picked for it (ventus) wasn't strong enough so he decided to experiment on him to try and make a superweapon. When he thought he failed, he ditched half of it on his ex-friend (eraqus) and met his two kids (terra and aqua) and decided his ex-friend's son-kid (terra) would be a good vessel

6) years later he tries to obtain that power. He fails but does obtain that son-kid's (terra)'s body. his weapon-kid (ventus) is in a coma and the sister (aqua) is in darkness and he lost his memory

7) luckily he's taken in by someone on his side (braig/xigbar). They start experiments, create the heartless, and he regains his memory in time to split himself into two: a heartless to command the darkness (ansem sod) and a nobody (xemnas) to prepare the rest of his plans

8) ten years later Sora Kairi and Riku are building a raft to leave their world when it's destroyed. They are split up. Sora gets the keyblade

9) Sora meets Donald and Goofy and goes on many adventures trying to find his friends

10) Sora finds his friends but Riku is giving into darkness and possessed by ansem and Kairi's in a coma bc her heart is in Sora. Sora frees her, becomes a heartless, she saves him, he fights ansem-who-is-xehanorts-heartless, and Riku and King Mickey help him seal that major baddie away

11) the islands come back, Kairi goes home, Sora goes looking for Riku and Mickey with Donald and Goofy

This is KHUX/KHChi, Birth By Sleep, and KH1

12) when Sora freed Kairi, he created a nobody because he became a heartless. His nobody Roxas is made part of Organization 13, which is lead by Xehanort's nobody, and seeks to destroy heartless to collect the hearts to make the superpower Xehanort wants.

13) Roxas has a friend named Xion who realizes she is a weapon created to steal Sora's power and memories to prevent him from waking up. Xion grapples with her own morality and mortality and decides that fucking over Xemnas and saving the world is more important than just burying her head in the sand in hopes of having good times with her friends and sacrifices herself.

14) in between 12&13 is Chain of Memories, where in which Sora first encounters org 13 as a bunch of weirdos in a castle who give him a riddle and imply Riku is there. They are under Marluxia's command and want to make Sora their puppet weapon with the help of Namine.

15) Namine is Kairi's Nobody who was created when Sora unleashed Kairi's heart. she has power over memories, but only Sora's, probably because she was created from his body and Kairi's heart. Marluxia and the org are threatening her to change Sora's memory. She replaces his memories of Kairi with memories of her to convince him to go further into they trap.

16) Namine feels bad about this bc she is a good person in an abusive situation. She eventually rebels and helps Sora because of this

17) Axel, a nobody who is also there, has turned on Marluxia and co bc he is actually there to kill the traitors, because Marluxia wants to use Sora to rule the Organization. He lets Namine escape to fulfill that goal

18) one of the reasons namine feels so bad is because of Repliku, a replica of Riku who is like Xion except he thinks that he's the real Riku and doesn't have any bonds outside of the fake memories. Namine has to break his heart to stop him from killing Sora.

19) Sora beats Marluxia and Namine puts him, Donald, and Goofy to sleep so she can fix his memory. Because of how she messed up his memory, this will make him forget her and everything that happened. Sora promises to see Namine again and be friends with her for real.

20) it turns out Riku really was here the whole time. He fights Nobodies too, including Lexaeus and Zexion. He beats Zexion and the power of Ansem, from his possession, kills Lexaeus. He tries to control his own darkness and finds Sora, and promises to protect him while he sleeps.

21) Axel uses Repliku to kill Zexion and gets on back to the org. He's BFFs with Xion and Roxas and realizes he was kind of a dick by being friends with them.

22) he friend breaks up with Saix, bc they've changed and he doesn't recognize Isa in Saix. Axel killed Vexen and Zexion bc he and Saix were scheming together to take down Xemnas and get their hearts back.

23) SAIX IS NOT JEALOUS OF ROXAS, THAT IS A FANDOM MISINTERPRETATION. he has a line about fake friends or real friends and this is not Saix vs Roxas, but him trying to tell Axel that Xion is a Replica and not a reason person. Note: Xion is a real person, Saix is misinformed and being a dick

24) Roxas leaves after Xion dies and gets captured by Riku who dumps him in a data world made by DiZ so he can start integrating back with Sora

25) DiZ is the origibal ansem who was yeeted into darkness by Xehanort when he stole his name, and bc of that he hates Nobodies and wants to destroy the organization

26) axel finds roxas but Roxas ultimately does go back to Sora (looks like my summer vacation is over) exactly one year after he was created. Sora wakes up with Donald and Goofy

27) Sora learns about the Nobodies and that the worlds are in danger again and goes to help the worlds and look for Riku and King Mickey. He kills Xaldin and Demyx while in Disney Worlds.

28) Axel kidnaps Kairi as part of an effort to try and get Roxas back from Sora but loses her to Saix

29) Sora learns Kairi is kidnapped and is big mad

30) axel realizes he was a dick, tries to rescue Kairi, is mostly-murdered by Saix in the effort, and dies to protect Sora.

31) Sora kills Saix and Luxord and Xigbar, is reunited with Kairi and Riku

32) DiZ yeets himself back into the land of darkness destroying the fake kingdom hearts created from all the gathered hearts, roxas and Namine return to Sora and Kairi for good, and then Sora and Riku kill Ansem and go home

This is Chain of Memories - 358/2 Days - KH2

33) Sora and Kairi and Riku enjoy a brief break while Donald Mickey and Goofy recap things. They realize Jiminy's journal was erased when Sora had his memory wiped by Namine and discover a strange message: their hurting will be mended you return to end it

34) they create a data Sora and go through all the worlds from kh1 and then com to try and get to the bottom of the journal, which has corrupted data. this game is brushed off as filler but is critical bc it establishes that fake beings like say, data copies, can in fact develop hearts and therefore Xion is real and has a heart fuck off gamer Bros

35) also Pete and Maleficent are there bc the games continually remind us they exist

36) it turns out the message was written by Namine, who made a data Namine to let Sora know about all the memories of other people connected to him. Mickey and Data Sora learn that Roxas, Xion, Axel, Terra (Xehanort's first vessel), Aqua (bbs girl and true keyblade master), Ventus (1/2 of that failed superweapon) and Namine all need to be helped and have the pain in their heart mended.

37) Ventus is in Sora's heart because when he almost died, Sora as a newborn baby connected his heart with Ventus. current theory I have is that Sora was born exactly as Ventus was dying and this weird connection allowed this to happen.

38) Mickey writes to Sora and Riku that they should take the Mark of Mastery exam to become true keyblade Masters and gain new power

39) Sora is confident about his coolness bc he saved the universe twice but Riku feels bad about giving into darkness and so they both take the test

40) the test is hijacked by Xehanort who reveals he's back and also that he's used time travel to bring back every version of himself. They want to use Sora to make a 13th version and start a new keyblade war to get Kingdom Hearts

42) they revealed that nobodies can regrow hearts and xemnas made up that no emotions forever shit because he wanted to rule his cult and make them all into vessels as a plan b

43) Riku stops them by saving Sora, with the help of King Mickey, and Lea, Axel's complete form

44) it turns out that when a Nobody and their Heartless die they become whole again. Lea wants a keyblade to rescue his friends including Isa, Saix's somebody who is norted

45) Xehanort says they will fight soon, when his 13 darknesses (aka possessed bodies) fight the 7 lights, and this clash will create the superweapon the X-blade which will let him open kingdom hearts, recreate the universe, and become god

46) Riku passes the exam and becomes a master. Sora fails but isn't too broken up about it. Yen Sid sends Riku to get Kairi and begins to train her and Lea as Keybearers to be Lights

47) Sora takes off to Olympus with Donald and Goofy to train with Hercules and recover the strength he lost when he was nearly possessed by Xehanort

48) meanwhile while all of this happened, back in point 10, we have a short game about Aqua who has been trapped for 10 years. It's depression the game and intersects with the plot bc she helps Mickey find the thing he needs to seal the darkness. She's separated from him and Riku which is why she can't get out to the darkness when they do in CoM

49) we are caught up to kh3

This is Really:Coded, Dream Drop Distance, and 0.2 Birth by Sleep

Misc. Details:

Kairi, Xion, and Namine look alike because Namine is Kairi's Nobody and Xion is based on Sora's memories of Kairi. Their main difference is hair color and style: Kairi has red hair, Namine has long blond hair, Xion has short black hair

Ventus and Roxas look identical. This is basically because baby Sora allowed Ventus to take shelter in his heart, so Roxas ended up looking like Ventus despite being connected to Sora

Vanitas looks like Sora but with black hair and gold eyes because Vanitas is the other half of Ventus, and thus connected to Sora's heart

There is a young version of Xehanort because of time travel. Don't stress about the time travel, just accept it

Pretty much all the main characters who aren't from a Disney property, a villain, or Axel/Lea (redhead, green eyes, fire powers), Aqua (blue hair, blue eyes, keybearer), or Terra (brown hair, blue eyes, keybearer) are underage.

#kingdom hearts #kh #no spoilers #just some backgroind knowledge to understand kh3 #long post

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raeseddon · 6 years

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Fic Roulette

So, not too long ago @a-crab-called-diz and I came up with this epic Pokemon B/W AU that got entirely out of hand in the best way possible.

Cilan had been dreading the tactical meeting for weeks.

It was hard enough as it was keeping Iris away from Drayden, but as the Inheritor of the Dragon and the leader of Opalucid Gym, the two were bound to be in the same room at one point and that was, regrettably, the same day Cilan had to spend all morning assessing the next flood of draftees.

He missed cooking. He missed taking all of his frustration out mashing Oran berries into a thick, sweet paste for pie or macaron filling. He missed the days when the worst of his concerns were stealing restaurant forks back from Crustle, who hoarded anything shiny like a block-y, carapace'd dragon-type.

By the time he was half-way to the command room, he could already hear yelling, as if he needed anything else to spur on the headache that had been lingering at his temples, ready to pounce most of the day. The door opened before him to reveal Cynthia, Iris, and Drayden in the midst of yet another argument that in no way needed to be that loud this late in the day.

"Regrettable?! Is that what they're calling abandoning the Village of Dragons?" Iris screeched. "There's nothing but women and children there now, all the trainers have been sent to protect his city, and his sainted school and gym. Boy have you forgotten what matters!"

She bristled where she stood, attempting to tower over Drayden by power of will alone.

"It's not my choice." Drayden ground through a beard that had grown longer and more unkempt over the last month.

"But you're not objecting to it." Iris said pointedly, calming slightly as she caught sight of Cilan.

"I've negotiated with the League as best as I could Iris," Cynthia said, pain clear on her features. "The gym and the city are more important, tactically. If we can't stop Plasma at the opposite end of the valley they have a clear path to break into Western Unova, completely cutting the supply line."

"Which is why we make our stand at the opening of the valley, closer to the village-- Cilan--" she set two wide dark eyes on him pleadingly.

"I've negotiated with Giovanni," Cilan said, bringing the entire room to a dead silence. "He agrees with Iris, the geography at the opening of the valley is more to our advantage-- the cliff-sides were weakened with a recent downpour, if absolutely necessary we can cause a landslide and seal the valley off from the east." He and James had worked the strategy out themselves after Rocket scouts had returned with the most recent surveys. "And if we can't stop them there, the village is our first fallback. It's better than just leaving them to be over-run."

Tears welled in Iris's eyes as she clutched Axew painfully tight in her arms in relief. She had wanted to trust James when he said they'd think of something but she'd been too scared to hope...

"So the League really is accepting help from Team Rocket?" Drayden humphed, "I don't know what I expected from a bunch of colonizers."

"Drayden," Cynthia pinched the bridge of her nose, "our allies are few and far between as it is. The International League is burying their heads in the sand-- the won't even say the word 'war' because it hasn't been spoken in that chamber since the Silver Insurrection forty years ago. Where should

we look for allies?"

The tall man growled and stormed out of the room with a wave of one long, muscled arm. Cynthia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Cilan. I wasn't sure how much longer I could be condescended to without ripping his mustache off." She smiled wanly, patting Iris on the shoulder comfortingly.

Ever since she'd heard that the Village of Dragons "wasn't of tactical importance" she'd been on a war path to rival Kyurem. Since the ritual to cement her position as Inheritor, Iris had changed. Most would attribute it to stress or anxiety (of which there was more than enough to go around) but this went deeper--she was speaking for Unova itself-- the land, not it's people.

Distantly she wondered what it felt like. All dragon trainers did. Legends of the Inheritors had gotten as far as Kalos in the ancient past as feared beings, on behalf that having direct contact with the Dragonforce effected people differently. Some succumbed to it, becoming something feral-- not human, not pokemon but something in-between that tore the mind apart. Others were feared simply for their accomplishments, be they noble or ignoble-- the uniting or tearing apart of entire regions. For her part, Iris was keeping the power in check better than most who only knew her by reputation would expect. The strain of it showed at the bags under her eyes and the slight but perpetual downturn of the corners of her mouth, but that was as much as it showed outside of the near-daily outbursts that Drayden seemed hell bent in bringing out in her. Never mind it was an open secret that at least half of his frustration was born of envy. All that power. Given to a child. By an old, dying, raving mad-woman.

It could not, in Cynthia's estimation, have been a better a decision.

#AU Roulette #all that rises must converge #I can't believe that AU has a tag now

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singingcookie · 6 years

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Status

Status…, the words shown bright as the pod pulsed in the background, trying to find any minor change to what lay within. The gaps between them grew longer each time. And then finally new words appeared. Memory failed to link. Retry? Naminé sighed, unaware of how long her breath had hitched between the two messages on the monitor.

“Not again,” she muttered, pulling herself up from the low chair. She pressed her hands to her head, trying to swallow the lump in her throat as she forced herself to breath. She had been working so hard, pushing and pushing as much as she could to progress her goal. But it wasn’t enough. It never was. She shuddered as she took another breath, lowering her hands as she approached the side of the machine.

He was in there—how long had it been now? Several months…at least five? If everything had remained simple, he should have been out already. But of course it couldn’t be simple. The universe had to intentionally throw her own work back in her face. Make it incredibly difficult to keep a promise to her first real friend.

“Naminé.” It was as though she had awoken from a trance, the way she recoiled at another’s voice. There was his best friend. Looking down at her with a frown. He was disappointed, wasn’t he? How could he not be? She was the whole reason his friend was stuck in stasis.

At first, she was relieved that it was him, rather than her “caretaker”; but he couldn’t possibly be happy with her either. So the relief became anguish, she couldn’t bring herself to even look him in the face.

The silence between them was long. It was hard to find the words to say. He couldn’t tell her it was alright, she wouldn’t believe him. He didn’t know if he would believe himself. There was really only one solution.

It took opening and closing his mouth a couple of times before those words could actually get out. When they finally did, they were accompanied by an extended hand. “C’mon, you need to get out of here. Being here just makes you sad.”

“I’m.” She turned her head to the side, her chin lowered as she mumbled, “I can’t be sad, Riku.” She still accepted his offer, touching her fingers to the black gloves he wore.

She always said things like this. Nobodies don’t feel anything. No hearts. No feelings with that said. But that just couldn’t be true. DiZ often repeated the same notions. But…observing her over the course of these several months…Riku knew it couldn’t be. No matter how much they insisted.

Riku’s hand squeezed hers as he guided them toward the exit, his own head low. “Then why are you crying?” He received no reply other than her unsteady breathing just behind him. He didn’t mind, it was fair that she didn’t know what to say. She could not seem to wrap her head around the idea that she might not be as disconnected from ‘real people’ as DiZ tried to lead her to believe. So he didn’t push the subject further, only continuing to lead the way.

He came to a stop once they had entered the foyer, jerking his head briefly toward the opposite side of the stairway. “You should go grab one of your notebooks. One that doesn’t have anything related to all this.” He could feel her tense up and so released her hand as he continued, “And meet me on the ground floor.”

She did not question, only quietly agreed before doing as she was told. It took a few minutes—perhaps finding a notebook like he described was difficult—until she joined him at the bottom of the stairs, clasping one along with the crayons she had been given. “Alright, let’s go.”

She seemed to hesitate as he led the way toward the front doors. “Um, I’m sorry but…where exactly are we going?” He placed a hand on one of the doors, shoving it open and standing in front of it as Naminé walked through, attempting to shield her eyes from the light. It gave her step a slight stutter, and she paused once she actually stepped out to look back and await an answer.

“Out,” he replied as he moved to lead the way again. Perhaps more curt than he had been intending. In all honesty, he felt as though he had sort of forgotten how to talk to people. He and Naminé didn’t talk all too much. And DiZ wasn’t exactly the best conversationalist either. Aside from them, the only one he had spoken to was Xion. Just that one time. Maybe it was best that he clarify just a bit. “We just need to get you out of that place for a while. It’s not healthy.”

She continued to follow him but nonetheless noted, “That doesn’t really answer my question, you know.”

He was about to glance back at her, he could have sworn he could practically hear a small smile in that, something highly unusual. “Oh.” But he came to a stop instead, and she bumped into him, unprepared for the sudden halt. “I almost forgot.” He reached behind his head, his fingers moving to find the ends of the black material covering his eyes.

“What are you doing?” He could hear her sandals crunching the foliage under their feet, as she moved to his side. She sounded concerned.

He managed to untie the knot and stuffed the strip of cloth into his pocket. “It’s not exactly normal for people to walk around blindfolded in town.”

Only after saying so did he slowly open his eyes, cringing at how intense his surroundings were. It wasn’t like being on the islands: the reflective sand, the ocean, the clear blue of the sky. Here, it was only the deep greens of the foliage, the warm browns of the tree trunks, and the gentle orange of the near perpetual sunset… The colors were so much more muted. But after only seeing the black of that cloth for several months…it was a stark adjustment.

“Riku?”

“Sorry, I need a second,” he started, his eyes blinking rapidly as though that might help somehow. “It’s been a while. Can’t guide you if I can’t see, right?” She reassured him that it was fine and he chanced a glance at her. Perhaps a mistake. If the subdued scenery was blinding to him, it was nothing compared to her against that very backdrop. The white of her dress, the flaxen hair; she was the sun, and he had to look away from something so bright.

He cleared his throat as he pressed on leading them through the demolished courtyard. “Anyway, I don’t have an exact place in mind. But I’ll figure it out as we go.”

Naminé hummed in reply as she fell into step behind him. Walking through the woods was much better the shade of sunset coming through the leaves helping with the adjustment. “So, blindfolds aren’t normal?”

“What?” Did she actually think that? He supposed it would make sense, as he was one of the few normal people she had interacted with. This would also be her first journey into town also. He couldn’t help glancing back at her, an explanation on the tip of his tongue. And then he saw it, a quiver of a smile that could only mean she was totally messing with him. He expelled a breath, just a hint of a laugh in it. She was joking. “Yeah, well, I like to follow my own path…”

Just being outside was already working wonders on her.

They approached the gap in the wall that separated the town from the woods, and he wondered, “What kind of thing would you like to see?” That might help him decide where their destination should be. Unfortunately, she responded that she didn’t know. It figured… Well, she was prone to drawing. Maybe that could help. Somewhere high up, but not enough to where she couldn’t easily see things or people to sketch. “Alright, I think I have an idea.”

He picked up the pace as the entered the tram common, following the tram’s path toward the southeast. She started to ask a lot of questions as they continued. Why did that part of the ground look different? What were all these buildings for? What was the tram for exactly? Sometimes, it really did surprise him just how little she was allowed to see of the real world. He answered each question as they came, leading them up a staircase. When he finished explaining that a tram was for transportation, she asked, “Could we ride it later?”

“If it’s still going, maybe,” he replied, explaining that it usually stopped at a certain time. “How’s this?” He came to a stop as they reached the edge of a rooftop, which gave a clear vantage point of the shopping section of the common. He watched as people sifted through the open area, going from business to business. “I know it’s not like going to an actual place but…” The girl had sat down, her legs curled up beside her and flipping her notebook open with a crayon already held aloft. Well, that was a relief at least.

He sat down beside her, his legs hanging over the edge of the building. Seeing all of these people…it reminded him of travelling into the city on the islands with his friends. Those days felt so long ago now… It didn’t help that chunks of his memory were so fuzzy; but that was bound to happen, so many of those memories were tied to Sora and not to mention Kairi. Kairi’s presence helped to solidify them as real events, but the specifics of them were more unclear.

He didn’t do much as she drew. It was mostly people or cloud watching. Sometimes, he tried to help put a coherent memory of his friend group. Younger years were easier. Maybe because that was where she had started her work. Around the time Kairi became a best friend of theirs, that was where things got foggier. Why did the Organization even do this?

“Does DiZ know you’re letting me out today?”

That snapped him out of his recollection, glancing back to finding her scribbling color into one of her doodles. “I don’t really talk to him,” he admitted, leaning on his palms and looking toward the sky. “Unless it’s necessary.”

“Why’s that?”

He hesitated to answer. “I don’t like him much.” It sounded even worse than he thought hearing it outloud. Her crayon stopped moving against the paper and she began to ask another question. He already knew what it was. “I’m here for Sora. Not him.”

“Does he know that?”

“Probably on some level.” DiZ had always been annoyingly perceptive of Riku’s motivations after all. “Don’t worry about him. If he finds out, I’ll take the blame. It was my idea anyway. Besides…” He gave a laugh, thinking of everything he had seen of the man. “What’s he gonna do? Ground me?”

“No,” she said as she turned to another page, and starting another picture. “Maybe take your blindfold.”

He quirked his head in her direction, there it was again. “Was that another joke?” Her smile grew a little when he asked that, and he said with a chuckle, “You might need to get fresh air more often. You seem happier out here.”

“Maybe.”

#Naminé #Riku #Namiku #Namine #OTP:You Won't Fade #I've been stuck on this one for a while #I'm glad I finally finished it #the cookie sings #fanfic

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akria23 · 7 years

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TGD Articles #1

The reason I love The Get Down is not just because its about a part of my own people’s history in this genre of music…but because it’s a metaphorical speak in the image of many artist that’s lived that life coming from a colored, poor, and seemingly broken land. The cultures that represented in this show – they’ve always been at the pinnacle of all the big art forms. Often times that history was erased replaced with the face of someone else, the credit is given to those it didn’t belong to and even when correct credit is given the tale is spun to make it negative – our form of dance was something violent, dangerous or not a real form / our music was/is degrading at best and tasteless at worst / our art was never art just unnecessary incoherent scribbles used only to mark ownership and ruin what was once perfect. Time and time we’re shown that the lighter the flesh the easier the content is to swallow but TGD isn’t about that harsh reality. In fact, these young men and women are to focus on their own moment trying to breathe some life into their own dreams that there's no room for that story. So what happens is we get this ultimate focus on this representation, on this reality that I think isn’t shined on enough for people like these. You have real artist who’ve lived through similar events as these, whose history match. These too are our stories, and TGD remembers that, they remind of that, they teach that to those who hadn’t known.

I’ve been doing this thing lately where I’ve been feeling this need to describe everything by one word and one word only. The only rule was that the word had to not only speak for the entirety of the piece but that it must also trickle down to having more than the one meaning. Sometimes this is difficult…this time it was simple.

Freedom.

The word has found its place within the story. Its grown so much its become an entity of its own, it’s presence refusing to be ignored, it has weaved its way through characters and threaded itself to the spine of the storyline. Its more than the star gazing and the bird metaphors, it’s the hard lyric dropped on the backbeat and the spray from the can that paints every one of Dizzee’s mottos. Each character’s struggle is one marked by a quest of the word.

Mylene seeks absolution from her Father and his church. Like many of the characters, she desires to use her talent to transcend her from the gutters of rags to riches and class. To be raw, Mylene sole drive is for control, of both her own form and mind and through that her own message in her art. She is the one most driven by this need for the boys have total autonomy over what they perform and how it's performed, and while the girls may do back lib for her and therefore have not much say they are still free in form of body and decisions. We watch her transition from her father’s control, trying to fit her dream inside his reality, to trying to fit that same dream inside someone else’s who wanted her for her sex appeal. In both cases, she was told what to think, feel and how to act. Her only purpose was to achieve theirs. It's only when the first chains are truly broken (with her father’s death) do we see her take a stand and start of this different path. We know this path is one of fruition because, in the scene where she finds herself at the party (this scene also mirrors with another character’s awakening), she's lost in herself, singing her way – carefree and just for the art. It is this moment that gets her the deal of a lifetime. Through Mylene we see many other characters in search for some form of freedom – including her mother whose wants to escape the marriage she's bound herself to, her ‘uncle’ who's made a life of trying to free others from poverty, and a broken city – and Jackie a drug addicted musician who finds himself lost in the biggest musical block until she frees him with creativity and inspiration.

Unlike Mylene, Zeke doesn’t know he's in need of being free. To be fair his prison is, in part, one of his own making. Yes, his family and teacher put pressure on his to succeed their way…but he doubled that by trying to add Shaolin and the Kipling brothers to his track. There's nothing wrong with trying to succeed but you can’t walk to paths at once and that’s what Zeke finds himself trying to do and often finds himself taking steps backward instead of forward. He stretched himself thin instead of giving his all to one route. Maybe that’s why his story is heavy with guilt and sorrow because his goal was to make too many people happy – someone was destined to be let down – and if part 2 was any marker, that person is shown to be Shao, the brother who he's never really put his full trust in. Through Zeke we are shown sometimes we have too many options and refusing to make a choice can cause us just as much as making no choice, but also that our decision that can come with a duality. Zeke was free to choose…although I don’t know if his choice was all it was cut out to be. Zeke was inspiring though and with that came those who wanted that to shade them, such as Ra-Ra who latched onto this group because he saw the potential and hoped that his brain would be enough to lead them down the right path to creating a kingdom of their own.

Shaolin had the story of no choice. Shao lived in a mindset of survival and in that mindset all your decisions are fronted with that goal. His body was even more out of his control than Mylene’s, Fat Annie made sure of that from a young age. Even though he’s a jack of all trades (art, music, dance), even though deep down he's always hoped and has finessed his talents in wait of an opportunity, Shao never believed he would actually find a path to escape the world Annie had built for him. Leaving always meant ending back there. This is why he was enamored of Zeke – he was an opportunity, he was a promise of things Shao never had (a family, a partner, a bond) he was the road to freedom. He not only made him see, but he made him believe (this is also why I don’t like Zeke – Shao was always all the way in, damaging himself further, but Zeke always held a part of himself out knowing he had more than one route). When he gripped onto this idea, he couldn’t let it go, even if it meant getting his hands dirty. He was willing to steal, beg, borrow, and in one case assault for this thing. Because if he could do all those things to survive in a world he didn’t want to be in, what was stopping him from doing them when the destination was something he actually wanted? The sad thing about Shao’s story is it presented the reality of placing your trust in someone and having them drop your ass. Hope – it was so close and he knew it was gonna work. Growth-excusing the world he lived in and the things he had to do, to standing up and saying no. Devastation-having the foundation pulled from under his feet with the realization that having something and losing it may just be worse than never having had it at all. Reversion- of all the things he’d once known, the life he once lived, the thoughts he once had. Freedom is an illusion when life keeps proving that you deserve no such thing. And that ties in with Boo, he thinks he has no real tools to leave that place. The city has its claws in him, feeding off his anger and hardheadedness that keeps him in the belief that those like him and Shao were meant to be left behind and hardened for that life. Those who think they don’t deserve to be free succumb to their prisons.

Let me be frank – Dizzee’s story is my favorite in every way possible…including this one. If Shao’s storyline thus far has been about the manifestation of freedom letting you down, then Diz’s is about that manifestation being the best thing that allows you to soar high. Free/freedom is a theme we see surrounding Dizz a lot. This is in part to his sexuality and in part to his rebellious artistry. He himself has atoned himself more freedom in one than in the other. Dizz is fearless and driven in the face of art. His train quotes usually as such ‘Forget safety, be notorious’. He goes all the way into a dangerous neighborhood just to see Shao’s new work. He added his own work to one of Shao’s trains and even went to a gang territory for another one of his own creations. His art presents not only his thoughts and beliefs but allows him to freely hide in plain sight though his write line and alter ego Rumi. He’s the only character whose freedom is always at the stake of being stolen (though his art being a crime) while also seeking a different form of freedom (both his sexuality and the legacy of his art). Dizzee’s story is like a caterpillar going through metamorphosis – when the audience first meets him we don’t realize his sexuality is on the table. It isn’t until we’re introduced to Thor that even becomes clear. Thor is interested upon first meeting when he hears exactly who Dizzee is and his explanation of Rumi. Thor immediately understands the representation of Rumi. He’s the first character to see the genius in Diz instead of weird because he’s the first to actually see him fully for what he is and understand his metaphors. Thor is actually the element that’s pushing Diz’s transition. We get a lot of signs of Freedom when Thor is around – when they exchange books Thor tells him to make it the craziest, nastiest, freest, most revolutionary piece he’s ever made – Thor has a train quote that goes ‘You have wings, Learn to fly’ – before Thor ask him to go to the club he ask Dizz ‘Doesn’t Rumi wanna rise from some Alien ashes, be a phoenix, find a new form? Set the alien in the top hat free bro, introduce him to the world’. This is forthcoming to Thor’s own form (the phoenix – one reborn) already settled and free in his own sexuality, the bird standing for both freedom and rebirth (which is a point diz is at during his last scene). I do think that Thor feels because he’s able to see Diz/Rumi so translucently that others will/can too. You see this when he invites him to the club and tells him not to worry they’ll let him in. – In the club scene, it's as though Dizz is actually leaving one world entering a new world, all the while with Thor leading Dizz forward with a guiding hand. This sense is deepened by the fact that the audio is cut and what we hear as they are in this new place is Thor’s joy (laughter) at sharing this new world with Dizz. He tells Dizz that “this is where free people come to be free, just birds singing in bird voices and doing bird things (basically free people doing free people shit)’”. When Dizz gives Thor the Set Me Free album and tells him that it made him think of him it makes sense because that’s the route Dizz has been on since meeting Thor. It is easy to see that Thor is his first male romantic action given his hesitant nature when Thor was first flirting with him on the train – he remained stoic until he did the turn with a La revolution before exiting. But Dizz is also a full steam ahead kind of guy once he decides to do something. We get another one of those scenes in the club. Because everything was so new Dizz is contained and awestruck but after the kiss and the first note of Come Set Me Free, all those walls fall and we see Dizzee in his most pure form.

This theme, of course, follows into part 2 as Thor is literally locked up and Dizz has shut down in his own way. This season also focuses on Dizz standing up for his place and himself. He’s no longer letting comments slide by, choosing instead to confront them head on. When Thor gets out we get this intricate scene that while drug induced, allows us free entree into Dizz’s mind where Thor is concerned. Love, art, protection and of course free as we’re reminded of Rumi’s destination. Some fans take the Boo-Dizz conversation to mean that Boo secretly knows about Dizz’s sexuality…I didn’t take it that way at all. When Boo says – remember when I used to know all your friends it was a reminder that Dizz like the rest of the characters was still locked in a box. There's a reason Ra says..yo that’s my brother in the face of Thor whose trying to help. None of Dizz’s family knows Thor. It’s the same reason he tells Boo no when he ask if he could come along to see Thor. So even while he's at the point of not apologizing for being an alien he’s not yet a phoenix. When we see Dizz again, he's at his happiest. He and Thor are shacked up in what I refer to as Paint Palace, isolating themselves from the outside world like they’re on a honeymoon and drawing their truth on every surface they can. As I’ve said in my other post, this is one of my favorite scenes – because everyone should be allowed to experience that kind of freedom. Dizzee is in a safe space, doing something he loves, surrounded by positivity and with someone who inspires this safe feeling. He doesn’t have to hide, doesn’t have to speak in half-truths nor outright lie. Thor doesn’t judge him, and although he’s his guide he doesn’t push or force him to move faster than his own pace will allow. The reason Thor is presented smiling and happy when Dizzee is lost in his art is because he is both enamored and in full support of Dizz during these moments because they’re when Dizz is at his most real. Thizzee does not overtly mention their feelings because the real message loses its meaning that way. You see all the other relationships/friendships in the show and they all tell each other their every feeling but when it comes time to put up…someone is often left hurt, disappointed and jaded. Dizz is aware of all those feelings – love, protection, freedom – not because Thor says them, but because he shows through action. Thor is Dizzee’s manifestation of freedom and through he found himself on the path to accepting himself and freeing the sides of himself that others didn’t understand. Dizz is learning to fight for himself as much as he’s willing to fight for his art. Thor teaches him that Viva la revolution has space in other portions of his life. And that’s where we leave Dizz, transforming himself into something new…

Sometimes freedom is the fight for control, sometimes it’s the need to make a decision, sometimes it’s a manifestation, and other times it’s learning to accept yourself. The show made sure to sprinkle it in every character (even those I didn’t mention). As I said at the start, it was the floor the genre of music and art was built upon. Neither got much respect but still, artist used it as their route to escape whatever struggles they needed to overcome and the greatly exhibits that. These characters want to be kings and queens, they want to make their own mark on the world, leave behind their own legacy. They fight, love, and sometimes lose. They learn to learn to understand one aspect of one another they probably thought they would never see. That's what's so freeing about TGD, what makes it so damn good.

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Video belongs to Anna on YT! This post was in part inspired by said video. The gifs are as credited.

#the get down #tgd #mylene cruz #zeke figuero #ra ra kipling #boo boo kipling #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #dizzee and thor #dizzee x thor #thor the get down #tgd articles

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