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rae-is-typing · 4 years

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Scars

Original request from @sorrybutimtrying: Can you do one where Chris Evans or Paul Rudd meets a fan, sees her scars and tries to help her. Or something like that

Description: You win one of those contests where you and some other people get to meet and fraternize with a celebrity. This time, it’s Paul Rudd. He notices something you wished he hadn’t.

Characters: reader, original female and male characters (Sophia the Marvel person, Olivia the other teen girl, and a lot of unnamed men and women), Paul Rudd

Warnings: swearing, implied self-harm, self-harm scars, being sexually harassed at work, mentioned cat calling

Word count: 3.8k

See Ant-Man three weeks early, hang out with the one and only Paul Rudd, play laser tag, and pizza together on an all expenses paid trip to LA! Enter now! 12 lucky fans will be chosen. Entries close in three hours.

You take a moment to stop scrolling. Your heart speeds up; it always does when opportunities arise. You always apply, but you never win. Glancing at the clock, you see you still have ten minutes on break.

What the heck, might as well enter. There's nothing to lose.

Entering takes the rest of your break. You were asked questions, and had to enter your phone number and email address a few times. You submit your entry as soon as your break ended. Sighing, you push yourself to your feet. Back to serving customers and getting yelled at by your manager.

------------------------

Life gets hard and you completely forget that you ever entered in the first place.

You aren't proud of what you do to cope. Hell, you've managed to stop doing it completely for a few months. But sometimes it's so hard. Too hard to do anything else.

You don't show off your scars. By sticking to long sleeve shirts, concealer, and strategically placed bracelets, you can easily make it seems like there are a few birthmarks on your wrists instead anything self-inflicted.

Unfortunately, you can't afford to see a professional. Both you and your mother are working multiple jobs so you can eat and have a place to live. Deep down, you know you should tell her. Deep down, you want to tell her. But you can't bring yourself to. It'll only stress her out. Between two jobs and going back to school to finish her degree, you don’t want to bring her more stress. But your always hopeful for the day where she'd be able to help you through your hard days.

Speaking of hard days, you hate being a waitress. You work in a particularly sleazy part of town where the guys like to call out anything resembling a female body. Walking down the street brings you one cat call after another, and waitressing isn't any better. You get called every pet name under the sun. Sweetie, babe, baby girl, jujubee. Someone even called you, a 16-year-old wearing some of the baggiest clothes imaginable, sugartits. Your manager had fun with him.

After getting home, you flop on your bed and fight the urge to cry. You made a whopping fifteen dollars in tips that night for working 4 hours, a customer yelled at you for giving them iced tea with ice in it, and a guy started following you home until he got bored. It was not a good night.

Then your phone starts to ring. Maroon 5 reverberates in your room, simultaneously annoying you and making you feel a tiny bit better. Without looking at the caller ID, you pick up the phone.

"Hello?" You ask, voice muffled by the pillow your head is still buried in.

"Hi there! I'm looking for a Y/N Y/L/N." A feminine voice chirps through the phone.

"Yeah, that's me." You roll onto your back so you can speak clearer.

"Great. My name is Sophia Ramsey, I'm the one organizing the event with Paul Rudd. I'm so excited to let you know that you won! You will be one of twelve to be flown out to LA to meet with him and spend the day with him."

A huge smile tugs at your lips, so much so your face starts to hurt. "What?" You laugh. "Are you serious?"

"I sure am! Some blank documents have been sent to the email you provided in your entry. I need you to fill them out and either fax them to the number listed on them, mail them to the address listed, or scan them and email them to that same email address."

"I-I can totally do that!"

"Now this event is an all expenses paid, so everything will be provided for you. You'll be flown out the day of and flown back home after it ends. It will be held June seventh."

"Thank you so much!"

She laughs at your enthusiasm. "Of course. Once we get those documents we will be organizing your flights. We will be in touch."

"Awesome, wonderful. Thanks so much!"

"You're so welcome. Bye bye now."

You pull the phone away from your ear, sporting a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat himself. You won! You won you won you won! You're going to meet one of your favorite actors!

You pull up your email on your phone immediately. Spotting the email, you skim through the PDFs quickly. Since you're a minor, there are a lot of things your mom has to sign.

I need to print these. You think, biting your lip. You don't want to wait for the next at school, you want to fill these out now. Grabbing your wallet and apartment keys, you run (yes, run) down to the library that's a few blocks away. A lot of students gather there for studying and the free wifi.

You wave at a few of your classmates, and they nod back. You print the documents off quickly, paying a small fee for the paper, and you run (yes, run) back home.

You bounce into your apartment, still giddy (and sweaty).

"Mom! Mom, you'll never guess what happened!" You exclaim upon seeing your mother sitting on the couch in the living room.

She looks up from the book she was reading with a tired smile. "What happened, sweetie?"

"Remember that thing I entered? That event Marvel was hosting?" You ask, vibrating with excitement.

"I do."

"I won! I won Mom! I get to meet Paul Rudd!"

A grin broke out on your mom's face. "Oh, Y/N, that's awesome."

"I know! I have to fill out these documents. Do we have somewhere we can fax things? Do you know how to fax? I don't know how to fax."

She laughs. "I'll teach you how to fax things, don't you worry."

------

You get everything taken care of the day after. After another call with Sophia, you manage scheduling flights and times for the drivers (you get a driver! how awesome!)

In the weeks leading up to the event, all your extra effort is put into a gift for Paul. You have a knack for art that you don't have much time for anymore. Between school and work, it's also hard to find energy to put into it.

However, you said 'screw school' and began an art project: a hand-drawn collage of all Paul Rudd's characters, including Ant-Man. It takes all the time leading up to the event, but you manage to make it look amazing. Along with the collage, you write him a letter. You don't believe it to be anything very special, but you hope he will appreciate it. You detail your own struggles and how much looking up to him has helped you.

Then the day comes.

You barely sleep at all the night before. Adrenaline and an unhealthy amount of caffeine replace any semblance of rest you may have gotten.

The driver arrives at your apartment at 4:30 AM to take you to the nearest airport. After triple checking your stuff and a quick goodbye with your mom, you're off.

The car is so nice. You have no idea what make or model it is, but you're sure it very expensive. The drive doesn't take a long time; the roads are practically empty and there is little traffic, which is great.

However, you're left on your own in the airport, which is not great. A lot of zombie-esque people are there, a few crying children, and some drug dogs even joined the party. You bite your lip, scratching at your concealed wrists. It's something you always do when you're nervous.

You don't have any bags other than a backpack, so you don't need to check anything. Looking around, you try to spot someone that looks like they know what they're doing. You eventually do, and follow them to security.

The line is long, and after moderate hassle with the agents, you're through and on the way to your gate. Once you get there, you closely examine your ticket. First class. Your eyebrows shoot up. The first time you're flying and you get first class. Damn. Okay, you'll take it.

The flight was good: no babies cried, the flight people were all super nice, and you even got the entire row to yourself.

After the flight, you're off to the venue. You meet your new driver at the exit and get to another very expensive looking car.

LA traffic is everything you've heard and more. The streets are packed, and it takes quite a while for you to get where you're supposed to be. But when you do, it is incredible.

The building is huge. It's wall to wall one way glass. The sun bounces off the silver accents, almost blinding you. Out of pure impulse, you take a picture. You almost don't believe that you're here.

After thanking the driver, you hop out of the car and walk into the glass building. The interior is even prettier.

It's clean, with dark oak floors and chairs and tables lining the wall. A small group of excited people are gathered by a longer table full of stuff. Your anxiety spikes. This is actually happening. You're going to meet one of your heroes and give him some of your art. This cannot be happening. You nails find your wrist again.

After making your way to the small group, they immediately welcome you into the circle. They each introduce themselves for probably the millionth time, and one of them informs you that everyone is here.

After a few minutes of pure small talk, a woman walks into the lobby area.

"Hi everyone!" You all turn to her. She's dressed in a red sleeveless blouse, black slacks and high heels. Her face is done up nicely, as is her hair. She stands proudly with a charismatic smile gracing her face."I'm Sophia, the manager of this event. I'm so excited to get started! First things first, we'll start with the meet and greet. Each one of you will get 15 minutes with Paul. After that, there'll be a few games of laser tag, and finally, the screening of the new Ant-Man movie! We at Marvel ask that you keep all the movie details to yourself so everyone can enjoy the movie when it comes out."

Murmurs of agreement spread through the room.

“If you all follow me, we can get started," Sophia leads the group to a different room. Paul is sitting at a table with an empty chair next to him.

Excitement spreads through you. He looks so much more real in person, as weird as that sounds. You bite your lip, keeping your mouth shut. Excited calls from the other fans make him smile widely.

You keep your place near the back, slowly building up courage and thinking out what you're going to say. You certainly don't want to look like an idiot when you meet one of your heroes.

"Nice bracelets." The voice of a girl pulls you from your thoughts.

"Oh, thank you." You say, turning to see her. She has short black hair, blue eyes and pale skin.

"Yeah. I love Panic! At the Disco. Their music is amazing."

"For real, they're so good!"

The two of you share small talk until it's her turn. For twelve people each getting fifteen minutes, time went by very fast. She talks to him excitedly, something that he reciprocates. Another wave of anxiety comes over you. Your heart speeds up, your hands get a little sweaty. Holy shit! You're actually meeting him.You fight the urge to scratch at your wrist.

Finally, it's your turn.

You go up to the table with an anxious smile on your face. He smiles back.

"Hi there!" He says. "I'm so glad you won."

"Thank you!" You say, sitting down in the chair. "I actually brought something."

"Oh thank you! That's awesome."

You pull out the small framed collage, placing it on the table with the enveloped letter on top. There's a small stack of stuff on the other side of him. He carefully sets the envelope to the side, now examining the poster.

"Wow! This is so good!" He exclaims. "Did you draw this?"

You can only nod shyly.

"This is great, really. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The two of you talk for the rest of the time. He signs a couple of things for you, and you take a few pictures. At the end, you want to take a funny selfie for your instagram. While taking the picture, your bracelets slide up your arm. Your heart stops for a split second when you see a fresher scar. You pull back the bracelets immediately, and play it off as soon as possible.

But it was too late, Paul saw some of the scars. His face falls into something more solemn, concerned almost. He opens his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted.

"Alright everyone! It is time to move on to the next event."

Paul put a smile on his face, but he gave you a worried glance at you while he stood up. He walks by Sophia as you're led through the building. The interior continued to take your breath away. Postmodern design flooded your sight as everyone crams into an elevator.

You're taken up a few floors and the elevator opens to a small room with vests and guns attached to said vests. A blank scoreboard hangs proudly above everything. You glance around. Everyone is sporting grins.

"Let's do girls against boys!" Olivia, the girl you were talking to before, exclaims.

"You sure?" One of the guys pipes up. "I think there are more guys than girls,"

"There's like one more guy. We should do at least one battle of the sexes." She grins.

"I'm cool with it," A woman in her mid twenties smirks.

"Me too," You shrug. More murmurs of agreement spread through the group.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Girls will be red and boys will be green." Sophia says.

"I will leave you to Ralph, he is our resident lazer tag expert."

"Alright everyone, your goal is to destroy the other team’s base. You do that by destroying the power supply in the deepest part of the opposing team’s base. It looks like a dinosaur egg off of Jurassic Park, and it lights up. I have a few ground rules. No fighting, no sprinting, no food or drink near the equipment. But most importantly, have fun! There are large towers on each side where you have to charge your gun. Your vest will beep at you when you need to recharge. Good luck. Boys, enter to the left, girls on your right." With Ralph ending his spiel, everyone hustles into the room.

You follow behind one of your teammates to the back of the base. The room is absolutely massive. There's a large structure running through the middle of the floor with at least four sets of stairs. The supporting poles are lit up by green and red lights. You clutch your gun to your chest. It's not the very first time you're playing laser tag, but it is the first time in a long while.

You go off on your own, jogging up the stairs on the large structure. You speed walk quietly, ducking behind large foam covers that were spread sporadically throughout the entire floor when you suspect one of the boys had spotted you.You climb to the top. You hold your gun by your thigh, keeping your finger on the trigger. Slowly walking in circles, you try to spot the egg like power supply that Ralph had described on the ground below.

Suddenly, someone bumped into you. You jump, barely holding back a yelp.

"Oh, my god. I’m so sorry." Olivia quickly apologized. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, you just scared the shit out of me though," You laugh.

"I'm sorry... Y/N, right?"

"Yeah yeah yeah, and you're Olivia, right?"

"Mhm, what are you looking for?"

"I'm trying to find the power supply."

"Same girl. I think I saw it over there." She says, gesturing to your left. "But I'm not sure."

"Let's go check it out."

The two of you venture to the left, moving as quickly and quietly as before. Soon enough, you're able to spot the power supply through the guard rails. Only one guy is standing guard. You share a small low-five and split up to attack it.

Olivia jogs down the stairs to ground level and you go to the second floor for better range.

You crouch close to the floor, poking your gun through the guard rails and wait until you see Olivia come up behind the guard and start shooting. You join her immediately, and together you almost destroy it. However, your gun runs out of charge.

Cursing under your breath, you jog as fast as you can (almost running) down to a charging base, where you run into Olivia again.

"Dude, that was fucking crazy." She laughs. "We almost had them."

Laughing breathlessly, you agree. "For real though. We got them this time. Same plan?"

"Hell yeah,"

"What plan?" A new voice cuts in. The woman in her mid twenties pops up out of nowhere.

"We found their supply. I went low and she went to the second floor. If we have one more person, I think we got this. We'll have to hurry though."

A grin spreads on the woman's face. "Let's do it. I'll head to the first floor on the other side."

The three of you jog together back to the same place as before. You show the woman where to go, then you leave to go up one floor.

Once again, you start to shoot when Olivia does. The woman joins in soon after.

You hear the guards frustrated cries as he tries to fend off all three of you at once. A few of the other guys come running back, but it was too late. Girls won!

You laugh, throwing your hands up. "Hell yeah!"

Olivia cheers, and the woman whoops. The lights come on, making you wince.

"Game over. Red team has claimed their victory! Congratulations, ladies!" Ralph's voice comes over intercoms you didn't know were there.

You make your way down to ground level, meeting up with the other women. You congratulate each other.

"Let's do it again! Same team?”

The lot of you end up playing three more games: girls vs. boys, old people vs. young people, and Paul vs. Everyone else. Boys won, young people won, and the last one was a tie. (You and Olivia ended up teaming up with Paul anyways, but no one else needs to know that.)

After that, everyone was crammed into an elevator yet again. This time smelling a lot less pleasant after running and sneaking around.

All of you are lead to another floor. This one resembled a movie theater more than anything else. A huge table of food is set up in front of the door to the screening room.

Everyone begins to get their dinner, most of them being hungry from the hour and a half spent running around in the dark shooting at each other.

Before you could grab a plate, however, someone places a hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Paul standing behind you.

You smile up at him. "Hi."

"Hey. I wanna talk to you, could we step out?" That look of concern from before is etched onto his face.

"Sure," You say, the slightest bit of hesitation seeping into your voice. You step into a smaller, unoccupied corner of the hall. Before you can ask any questions, he starts speaking.

"Look, I don't know your situation, I don't know you, and I don't know what you've been through, but I saw your wrist. I know what it's like to be low, and I just wanted to tell you that it gets better. Everything is going to work the way it's meant to. Everything is going to be okay. And if you need help, don't be afraid to ask. Mental pain is just as serious and debilitating as physical pain is. I hate to see anyone go through this, especially my fans."

Tears prick at you eyes at his words. No one has ever taken you aside and spoken to you like this before. All the anxiety and trepidation leaves your body, and your left with this warmth and reassurance.

You can only bite your lip and nod. He smiles again and opens his arms. You hug briefly before leaving the corner and getting your food.

Everything after that is all smiles and laughter. The food is some of the best you've ever had; they certainly spared no expense.

The movie is incredible. You have no doubt in your mind that you'll save your tips and take your mom to see it one night after it comes out.

Truth be told, you're sad this is over. You want to do more with everyone, but you're so undeniably grateful that you got this opportunity. More pictures are taken, social media is exchanged, and soon you're all on your separate ways home.

When you get home, you pass out on your face, shoes barely kicked off your feet. You never expected to wake up to what you did though.

A DM from Paul Rudd.

Hey Y/N! It was so nice meeting you! I'm so glad you had the opportunity to attend the event. It's always so wonderful to spend time with fans. I wanted to tell you that your collage is amazing! You have a real knack for art. You should definitely keep it up if you can. Thank you for sharing your story in the letter. It really moved me. I also wanted to let you know one last time that things do get better, things do improve. Stay strong for yourself and your future. You got this.

#paul rudd x reader #paul rudd x teen!reader #marvel rpf #paul rudd #teen!reader #marvel #ant-man #ant-man x reader #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfic #avengers cast x teen!reader #avengers cast x reader

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sassycassie-s-writing · 5 years

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One PM Pajamas

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): Final Fantasy XV/Prompto Argentum

Rating: PG/K+

Original Idea: Nothing. Just a cute scene in my head.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) Hopefully this reads as cute as it was when I imagined it.

^^^^^

When my doorbell rang at one in the afternoon, I really should have been prepared to answer it.

But was I?

Nope.

I was eating a Cup Noodle for lunch in my pajamas without pants on—just in my giant T-shirt and underwear. My hair had been brushed but that was it.

I crept to the door and peered through the peephole.

Confused, I opened the door just enough to peek around it, letting it get caught on the chain. “Prompto! What are you doing here?” I asked.

He beamed at me. “I need your advice,” he said.

“You sure that’s a good idea? Last time you took my advice you dislocated your shoulder.”

“I trust no one else with this question.” The seriousness behind the playful look he gave me convinced me. I shut the door, slid the chain to release it, and opened it again. I let it swing wide to let him in, pulling my shirt down to more securely cover my modesty.

“Well, if you’d called first, I could have looked like a normal person when you showed up. Let me put some pants on. Make yourself at home. Grab a snack and a drink if you want. Be right back.”

I headed down the hallway to my bedroom, still making sure my T-shirt was pulled down.

“Hey how come you’re in your jammies at one in the afternoon?” Prompto called jokingly.

“Buzz off!” I shouted, shutting my bedroom door to change. “Mimi and I stayed up till like three-AM watching makeup tutorials and trying to replicate them!” I shucked off my pajamas and pulled on a normal person outfit. Nothing fancy—it was Prompto. He’d known me since we were kids.

“Where is your roommate anyway? She gonna walk in on our secret discussion?”

“Decidedly not. She’s at work all day,” I said. “Hence why I'm eating a Cup Noodle in my pajamas at one in the afternoon.” I went back into the living room. Prompto was sprawled on the sofa, holding a bag of chips.

“What in Eos, gurl!” he teased, throwing a pillow at me. “You said you were putting on pants not a formal outfit!”

“Sweats and a T-shirt that’s actually in my size is not a formal outfit, Argentum,” I snapped, grabbing my Cup Noodle from the breakfast bar and plopping down on the sofa next to him. “Now what’s up?”

“I need your advice.”

“So you said. Carry on.”

“Okay. So. There’s this girl—”

“Ooooh! A girl! Prompto Argentum has finally succumbed to the endless stream of romcoms in his Chocoflix queue and fallen in love himself!”

“Shut up,” he muttered. His ears and cheeks were turning bright red.

I laughed and gave him a hug. “C’mon, Prom. You know I love and support you in all your endeavors. And that includes dating. I'm just surprised you’ve finally fallen for someone.” I crossed my legs and put some noodles in my mouth. “Now. What about this girl? What do you like about her? What do you want from your interactions with her? Are you going to ask her out?”

“Uh… she’s smart, funny, nice. Seems to actually care about me—which is, y’know, awesome. I don’t know. I’ve known her for a while and I just… well. I realized the other day that I was head-over-heels for her with no idea what to do about it.”

“So you came to me.”

“Well I would trust no one else with this information.” He gave me a mock-serious glance.

I laughed. “Okay. So do you want to ask her out?”

“Yeah… but I'm nervous that if I do, it’ll destroy our friendship. And I value our friendship a lot.”

I pursed my lips, jovial mood souring slightly. “That does put a damper on things. It’s a hard tightrope to walk, I’ll admit. Because feelings change things and knowing about someone’s feelings changes things. Like, if you liked her and kept it secret, you could just go on being friends and she’d never be any the wiser if you played it right. But if you told her how you really feel… well. There’s always the chance of rejection and then the awkwardness that comes after. Because you want to try to still be friends but she knows you want to be more.”

“So what do I do?”

“Honestly, Prompto, that’s up to you. I can’t make that decision for you. I feel like if you really like her and she seems favorable to the idea, you could ask her on a low-key, friendly sort of date. Which seems counterintuitive, I know. But, like, ask her if she’s seen that new movie and if she’d like to go see it with you. Or offer to grab lunch with her sometime to chat. If she agrees, you can try stepping it up. I don’t know, Prompto. I'm Miss Forever Single, remember?”

“Well… just tell me what you would want if some guy you’ve been friends with for a while suddenly asked you out.”

“Depends. Is he a creep that I’ve known for a while?”

Prompto sighed. “I hope not. Okay. Imagine it was me. You and I have been friends for… how long now? Twelve years? Since we were kids. What if I asked you out. Would you say yes?”

“Of course I’d say yes. It’s you. You’re like… the greatest, sweetest guy in all of Lucis.” I smiled and flipped some hair off my shoulder. “Any girl—actually, any person—would be lucky to snatch you up. Like, you are a catch, Prompto. And if this girl doesn’t see it… that’s her loss. Truly. You don’t have to start big, Prom. Just be casual. And be yourself. You’re awesome.”

Prompto regarded me thoughtfully, munching on some chips while I had another mouthful of noodles. “Thanks. I guess you’re right. Casual sounds really nice, actually. Like… less pressure, y’know?”

I smiled. “Oh yeah. And really, girls don’t always like fancy dates. Getting ready is a hassle and sometimes it’s awkward. I love chill dates. Like that blind date I went on a couple weeks ago. We literally went to the arcade in jeans and sneakers and stuff and played games. It was great. He smoked me at Skee-Ball but I beat him at Crossy Road. Like, that’s where the real fun and enjoyment is. To me anyway. Your crush might like being splurged on and pampered but ugh why.”

That made Prompto laugh. “No… I think she wouldn’t mind a casual date.”

“So go for it. We don’t get a lot of time on this planet. Sometimes we just have to shout YOLO while diving headfirst into the deep end.”

Prompto knew how much I hated the term YOLO for being annoying, but it got my point across and made him smile. He had such a bright smile. It always managed to make me happy just by seeing it. Which was probably why I had so many framed photos of the two of us in my room—though that was also because I got one every year on my birthday from him.

“You’re right. I think I will ask her out on a casual date.”

“Do it. And tell me how it goes!”

“Yeah. Yeah I will,” he said. He gave me a hug. “You’re the best dating coach in the world.”

“For being perpetually single?”

“Well, coaches don’t play the sport.”

I laughed. Prompto let me go and put the chips he got out of my cupboard away.

“I'm gonna call her on my walk home.”

“Tell me how it goes. Text me when you get home so I know you got home safe, ‘kay?”

“You got it, gurl!”

I ruffled his hair. He groaned and swatted at me like I was an irritating fly before heading for the door. We exchanged another hug and he left. I disposed of my Cup Noodles and went into my room so I could get some work done for Ignis before he started breathing down my neck. Mimi and I had a small study where we literally just stored books and the fancy desk my dad had given me when I moved out. I only used it when I was feeling really productive. I sat at the desk with my laptop and set to work.

I wasn’t sure how long I was typing up reports and council notes that Ignis had handwritten—thank the Six his handwriting was as neat as a computer font and perfectly legible no matter how fast he was writing—but I could feel the passage of at least a few minutes in a slight ache in my shoulder.

Out in the living room, my phone buzzed.

I sighed. “What now?” I muttered.

I got up and ran to get it.

Incoming Call: Prompto XD

“Hello?”

“Hey! Would you want to come catch a movie with me sometime? It doesn’t have to be anything formal.”

“Oh my word. Were you talking about me?!” I demanded.

All I got in response was laughter.

“Prompto Argentum! I cannot believe you asked me for advice on how to ask me out. I hate you so much that I love you right now. Of course I’ll catch a movie with you sometime. If I can get this stupid report of Ignis’ done, I’ll be free tonight.”

“That’s great! I’ll come pick you up at five-thirty?”

I laughed. “Absolutely. I’ll be ready.”

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halethestilinskis · 6 years

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“You broke my heart!” - Dylan O’Brien Imagine

"I can't do this anymore" The words cut through you like a hot knife, "I'm sorry" he stumbled, "I just need some space from us, I need to clear my head"

You've felt a lot of heart break, a lot of boys have caused gallons of tears to fall from your eyes, but it was never like this, it was never the love of your life ripping your heart out of your chest.

You crumbled, fell to the floor, dropping the phone was in your hand and curled into the fetal position. You weren't sure how long you laid there, all you knew is that, when you got the call, it was light outside, and now it was dark. It was a numbing feeling. You couldn't feel anything, you felt like you were floating when you walked, you eyes fixated on nothing, your brain just powering your body.

You fell into an easy routine. Wake up, call out of work, and go back to sleep. You weren't sure if you were eating, and when you did eat, if you were getting enough.

This wasn't happening, this wasn't real, this was all a horrible nightmare that you were unable to wake up from, and yet the pain in your chest was so real, the pain you felt when crying yourself to sleep were real, and always made a wet spot on your pillow, and made your eyes 10 times heavier in the morning.

It wasn't like you could get away from him, he wasn't an average boy, his face, his life, his presence was everywhere. All over your house was his scent, his clothes, his tooth brush in the bathroom, his favorite cereal on top of the fridge. Everything was a reminder of what you just lost.

On top of that, Tumblr liked to remind you of what he was doing that day, constantly snapping pictures, and giving the fans an update of how delectable Dylan O'Brien looked today.

He was a known face, everybody drooled over him, wishing they could get a chance with him, and here he was, completely shattering your heart.

"He's not worth it" you lied to yourself out loud, picking yourself up from your bed for the first time in God knows how long and walking to the shower, where you saw his body wash, and lost yourself again.

You were like this for a week before you best friend noticed that something was wrong. At first, she thought you were just busy, maybe you were with Dylan while he was shooting, or maybe you were just busy with work like you usually were.

"(y/n)" she called, unlocking the door with the key you made for her, "Your car is in the driveway, are you home?"

You didn't say anything, you weren't sure if it was because your brain didn't register what was going on fast enough, or if it was because you didn't want anyone to see you like this, best friend or not.

"(y/n)" she called again, peaking open through the door to your room, "hey" she said sweetly, making her way to the edge of the bed, "are you okay?"

Words escaped you, but they weren't clear, which caused her to chuckled a little bit, but it was very obvious something was wrong.

"Hey" she said more seriously, "you're scaring me, is everything okay?"

You shrugged, sitting up for the first time since you crawled back into bed from your defeated shower.

"No" you said clearly, her eye's peaking concern.

"What happened?" she was nervous, her insides were panicking and you knew this, you could feel it radiating off her and prickling your skin, which was the first real thing you've felt all week.

"Dylan" was the one word answer, and you felt the heat in her face burn you.

"What, (y/n), is he okay!?" she panicked.

"He's fine" you huffed out, "I'm not".

"Oh my god, (y/n), I'm so sorry" she instantly understood, without you having to explain it to her.

She wrapped you into a hug without a second thought. You weren't sure how long the hug lasted, but it made you feel like you were in a better place with her here.

"What happened?" she asked, pulling you away from her, and out of your trance.

"I don't know" you shrugged, there was no energy left inside of you, "He called last week, and just, ended it"

"Last week!?" she snapped, "why the hell didn't you tell me sooner!?"

"I'm so numb, (y/b/f/n)" you cried, finally able to look her in the eyes, "I don't know what to do without him, and I never wanted anyone to see me like this".

"Please, like you haven't seen me worse, and almost light my ex's car on fire" she rolled her eyes.

There was a moment of silence, where all you could hear was each other breathing and you sniffling. You truly didn't know what to say or do, and to be completely honest, you didn't really want her here. As much as you appreciated how much your best friend cared for you and your well being, all you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and lose it.

Dylan was the love of your life. Six months into your relationship, you were sure this was going to be the man you married. You used to scroll through Pinterest and David's Bridal looking at wedding gowns and reception design ideas. Never looking at venues, or sharing the ideas with Dylan, but you were so sure, so set on spending the rest of your life with him.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, not sure how long you were lost in your own mind.

"I don't really know" you shrugged, not giving a convincing answer, she gave you a cross look, "what?"

"What were you thinking about, seriously?" she asked again.

You shrugged again, not wanting to be judged for how hard you fell, and how much you were hurting, "I loved him, (y/b/f/n), like really loved him" you couldn't look at her, instead, you played with a lose string on your comforter, "I thought I was going to marry him. I thought that he was going to invite me to Italy with him, when he did this movie, and we could travel and find this beautiful spot where he could propose to me".

You could tell she didn't know what to say after the silence that followed, "I even bought a ticket to surprise him" you said, tears spilling out.

"You should go" she said we confidence, "No" she interrupted before words could come out of your mouth, "you spent the money already, just go to Italy, and find yourself, or even run into him, see if you can work things out, I don't know, this wound isn't going to heal with you crying in your room. Go outside, go for a car ride, get some fresh air, and then pack and get on that plane, you need this".

She was finally able to look you in the eye, and it clicked in your mind. You did need this, you did need to get over, or get back together with Dylan, either one was worth a shot. You already took the days off of work, and the hotels were already books, it would be stupid to throw away this money, and your friends were all either too broke, or in class to come with you.

A few weeks passed, and you were feeling better about the situation. You couldn't admit to yourself that you were over him, but you felt the need to curl up and cry a lot less, only when things strongly reminded you of him.

People have been posting pictures of the movie being filmed, and at this point, you knew exactly where he would be when you got off the plane tomorrow afternoon.

The plane ride sucked, you thought you booked a window seat, but at the last second, the airline changed it to a middle seat, in the middle row of the plane, making it hard to do anything, including eat the complimentary dinner they gave you.

I wish Dylan was here you thought, at least you would have First Class if he bought the ticket, your mind couldn't slip away from that wish though, ruining your chance of sleeping greatly.

Six hours later, and you were finally at your layover in Amsterdam, calling your mom and best friends and letting them know you were okay.

Another hour and a half, and you were there. Your hotel was a half a mile away from the airport and you had no Euro's, so you decided to walk, the entire movie of Taken running through your mind.

Right beside your hotel was a crowd of people, you weren't really sure what Italian customs were, or if there was a beautiful landmark that all the tourists were attracted to, but you decided to check it out before you checked into your hotel, heavy suitcase and all.

And there he was, Dylan O'Brien, in the flesh, wearing the black t shirt and jeans, with black shoes, all battered looking, lip split, and wow, long hair. You stared at him longer than you cared to admit, even though every second you looked at him, the hole in your heart tore bigger, the more your stomach dropped, the more you wanted him, you couldn't look away. Seeing him laugh along with Michael Keaton, hit you so hard in the gut, you almost fell to the ground, you suitcase handle catching you, but at the end, you felt his laugh make you smile, just like he did with everyone around him.

You know in the movies, where the character sees their love interest while they're not looking, and then in slow motion, the love interest turns and locks eyes with the main character? That's exactly what happened. You watched his face drop, and felt your heart quicken, and the adrenaline pump as you saw him turn to your direction.

You quickly turned around, running across the street and into the hotel to check in. Fans started screaming, which let you know Dylan was close to gate, then metal clanging, which you assumed was Dylan jumping it.

Quickly, you checked in, thankfully there was no line and you were able to give them your name, ID, and credit card without Dylan busting in here and making a scene, even though his body guards probably picked him up and gave him a slap on the wrist for jumping the gate.

As soon as you got to your room and connected to hotel wifi, you saw you had a three missed calls and five texts all from Dylan, all asking where you were, and as you were about to text back, another call came in. This was it, you didn't want it as soon as you got off a plane and walked a half a mile, but this was it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, (y/n)" he sounded a little out of breathe, maybe nerves?

"Hey" you said simply, suddenly regretting coming to this country.

"Am I seeing things or did I just see you here" definitely nervous.

You cleared your throat, feeling your stomach quiver, "uh, yeah, I'm here"

There was a silence you weren't sure what to make of. He gave a deep sigh, which you could only assume he was either rubbing his face, or took his phone away from his face and looked at the sky.

"Why?" he said suddenly, you weren't able to tell if it was annoyed or sincere.

You took another deep breathe, regretting everything, thinking of things to say when you cuss out (y/b/f/n).

"It's a kind of a long story" you said after a nervous gulp, and after a couple seconds of silence, you realize he wasn’t going to leave it like that.

You sighed, "I already bought a ticket to surprise you before- well- you dumped me- and I didn't want to waste like 3 grand, so I decided to come, and I'm sorry, I didn't know it would be so close to your shoot, I'm not going to come bother you" you rambled.

He listened with a dumb smirk as you talked and defended yourself, although you didn't have to.

"Come by" you could hear the smirk.

"What?" you scoffed out at the end of the rant.

"Come by" he repeated, "I've missed you".

"Dyl" you sighed, not sure if it was a good idea, although you thought it was on the flight here.

"Or I can go there, but it's going to be a few more hours, I thought I'd show you what the set looks like"

You didn't know what to say, you wanted to see him, your heart ached for him, but you weren't sure how all this was going to turn out.

You sighed again, giving into it all, "Where can I meet you?"

The smile appeared again, "Just go to the gate, I'll get you over it".

"Okay, I'll see you soon, keep a look out" you agreed.

You hung up the phone and sat on the bed, letting a tear slip out before you dolled yourself up. This was a lot harder than expected, being away from him, not texting or hearing his voice, numbed you. There were days where you thought of him, and cried over him, but the heartbreak wasn't nearly as bad as it was the day you got the call.

An hour later, you were able to send him a text saying you were on your way. It would've been sooner, but you got caught up looking at the set from your window, looking at Dylan really.

"Excuse me" you said politely before it hit you that these were all Italians, and just ended up pushing through them, and waiting for Dylan to catch your eye, which only took 3 seconds.

"Hey" he grinned, calling over one of the guards and having him help you over the fence while fans screamed and cussed at you in Italian.

"Hi" you said back, unable to meet his stare.

"So" he cleared his throat, and maneuvered you forward with a hand on your waist, burning your skin through your clothes, "this is the set, Keaton just left so I can't introduce you, but I have to shoot a couple scenes in a few minutes if you want to stay for that, or you can walk around, up to you"

You smiled at him, when he wasn't looking, of course, "I think I'll stick around and watch".

"Great" he said, leaning down and giving you a kiss on the cheek, "I'll see you in a little bit".

He ran off before he realized what he did, and all you could do was touch your cheek and smile, your face burning hot, you turned to look at him as he was running toward a trailer, just in time for him to around and yell a sorry, effectively making you feel terrible and immense happiness at the same time.

You weren't sure what to do without him here, you didn't know anyone here, and you didn't want to accidentally walk into a place that you were unwelcome in, or where Dylan couldn't find you. A small walk away, under the tent you saw Dylan under earlier, was his chair. No one was around, you did a full 360 turn before taking a seat and looking through social media on your phone.

A few moments later, you heard "READY?" followed by "ACTION" and you watched Dylan shoot that same scene so many times, you could probably do it, and say every line with ease, run a little bit and fall onto a mat while pretending to shoot a gun, you just wouldn't look as graceful and well, sexy, while you did it.

Hours passed, even though it didn't feel like it, watching Dylan shoot his scenes was much more entertaining than you thought.

"How'd I do?" Dylan asked, jogging up to you with sweat beading up on his face.

"I actually had a lot of fun watching" you smirked at him.

"I messed up that much huh?" he winked with a grin, before you playfully hit him with a smile.

"You did great" you affirmed, getting up from the chair, "Are you done for the day, or what?"

"Yeah, I’m done, I was just going to run and take a shower and then I can meet you in the hotel" he said, pointing across the street.

"Why don't you just shower in the room, I'm sure it has better pressure and hotter water" you offered, your face burning at the invitation.

He paused, "uh yeah, I mean, it won't be awkward right?"

"No, not at all" you pushed the idea away, although it the back of your mind you knew it would and could be.

There was an awkward silence walking all the way to his trailer to get some clothes and then walking to the hotel. Guards were every where making sure he was safe and even stood outside your hallway to make sure no fans were coming up and knocking on the door, even though a guard standing by it made it pretty obvious which room you were in.

When you got in the room, you showed Dylan where the bathroom was, even though it's in the same place as every other hotel in the world, and then sat on the bed, turning on the TV, and again realizing, you can't speak Italian, so you went your laptop to watch some Netflix.

"How do you feel?" you asked Dylan as he was towel drying his hair, walking out of the bathroom, like a God. At least he had a shirt on.

"Good" he smiled, "What are you watching?"

"Guess" you smirked.

"Hm, could be a couple of things" he smiled, thinking about the usual shows you binge, "could be FRIENDS, Supernatural, or Gilmore Girls".

You grinned at the pause screen of Rachel telling Ross they need a break, "first one".

"Knew it" he smirked, his Stiles coming out, sitting on the bed next to you, throwing the towel to the chair.

You played out the rest of the episode, and the one after that before you grew the confidence to tell Dylan you guys needed to have a talk.

"So" you shifted awkwardly, "I guess this is when we have that talk".

You were looking at him through your lashes, unable to look him in the eye, you were uncomfortable, and he knew it, not saying a word until you looked up at him, he always hated when you hid from what you were feeling.

"Yeah" he shifted a little to face you, "I guess so".

There was a moment of silence, you weren't sure if you were supposed to start to apology, even though you had nothing to apologize for, or if he was thinking about what he wanted to say, either way, something had to be said in the next few seconds or you were going to implode. The tension was so thick, you felt as though it was strangling you, making you unable to speak although you so badly wanted to.

"I'm sorry" he said, looking at the bed, this time, he was unable to meet your gaze.

"What?" you choked out, not expecting him to actually apologize.

"Being here" he paused, "being away from you- it's stressful- and we've been dealing with it for so long, just being able to see you for a few weeks before I start another project in a different place that you can't come. All of my agents telling me to tell you to lay low, that you can't come with me to shoots, and we can't be seen together, it's a lot of pressure, and I just felt like I was drowning, I couldn't do it".

He rambled on more, but you stopped listening after that sentence, because the rest wasn't as important as those words.

"I get it" you stopped him.

"You don't" he shook his head, "I've missed you so much, we've missed so much as a couple, I'm not even sure we ever were a couple, just people who dumbly fell in love and fucked around a lot".

"Dylan" you rolled your eyes, "Look, I don't GET it because I've never been through your pressure, but I understand" you looked at him, letting him know you were being sincere, "you never told me about your agents, you never told me anything at the end, I was beginning to think I did something wrong and you were punishing me"

He smirked, but it was definitely a sad one, "I'm sorry" he said again.

"It's alright, I just- I don't know how to fix this- or us, or" you paused, realizing you could be reading the wrong impression, "if you even want to work this out".

"(y/n)" he sighed, and that's all you needed to hear.

"I get it" you admitted, feeling defeated and like a complete idiot for actually coming on this trip. The tears were starting to sting, the wound peeled back and fresh again. He couldn't see you like this.

"You're not even going to let me talk before you start tearing up?" he was smirking, this was a joke to him.

"You don't have to" you sniffed, "I get it, you don't have to explain yourself.

"What are you talking about, (y/n)" he scrunched his face in confusion. You looked up to see his face, not seeing a sad little Dylan anymore, but seeing an annoyed one for you not letting him talk, "I was GOING to say, yeah, I do want to make it work".

"What?" you breathed out, a tear falling.

"Stop saying that" he rolled his eyes, wiping the tear that fell, "I love you, more than anything in the world, the pressure was just so much, and I made a stupid decision, and I'm sorry that you've been hurting and dealing with it for the past month- and before you say you've been fine, I've talked to (y/b/f/n)- I know you've been in your room and called out of work for like a week straight".

"What did you expect?" your eyes bore through his, "for everything to move on as normal, you shattered me, Dylan, you broke my heart. I thought we were going to get married, buy a house, have some kids and grow old together, while we watch our grandkids, and then I wake up at 3 AM to a call from you that you can't do this anymore".

"Do you think I wasn't hurting too!?" he took offense, "Do you think I didn't let some tears fall in my trailer, and have to go back to make up to make it all go away, because there were a lot of those days for me too" he stood up.

"I didn't know what to think!" you scolded, "You left me, you did the equivalent of packing a suitcase and fucking leaving in the middle of the night!"

"I didn't know it would hurt you that much, I thought I was only hurting myself" he said reluctantly.

"You don't think I love you as much, if not more, than you love me- you thought I just had a list of side fuckboys I could run off to and forget about everything we had, every picture, every memory I have burned into my brain!?"

"That's not what I meant" he shook his head.

You started ranting some more, looking at him sink lower until he was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, he really didn't think it was going to be this bad.

"What if I didn't come here?" you asked suddenly, "Would you have came back to me, texted or called me at all to get back together or to see if I was alright?"

"I didn't think you'd want to hear from me, so I left you alone, and texted (y/b/f/n) to check up on you" he forced.

"And getting back together? Would that happen if I wasn't here right now?" you reiterated.

"I don't know" he said honestly, "You're here now, and that's all that matters, right?"

You thought for a minute before replying. No matter how much Dylan hurt you, made you cry, or call in sick to work, you loved this idiot, and this fight was going no where.

"Yeah" you breathed out, "I'm sorry".

"Don't ever be sorry" he said sincerely, grabbing your hand, and pulling you in for a hug, "I've missed you" he said into your hair, kissing your head while you breathed in his scent, "Every second of every day I've thought about you, and this, just being here with you, experiencing Italy with you before and after shoots" he gave a small chuckle, tightening his grip.

"You're all I ever wanted, Dyl" you spoke into his chest.

More silence came after that, but it was comfortable silence, just hugging and rocking with him. Finally you pulled back and looked at him, his brown eyes boring into yours, before you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes and brushed your lips against his, only for him to pull you in for a real kiss, where you felt as light as air, like you were flying.

When you disconnected, it took a few seconds for you brain to work again, and a few more seconds for you to pull him in again and stand there for a little while longer, just enjoying his presence in your arms.

"One more thing" you mentioned, pulling back just enough to look at him. He cocked his eyebrow, wondering what else you were about to bring up after just making up.

"This hair" you looked at him, grabbing a piece of his hair that was almost to his shoulders, "has to go".

He chuckled, and you joined in, "trust me, I can't wait to cut this shit off and trim this" he ran his hands through the beard.

"How many more weeks?" you wondered out loud.

"Three" he paused, "Three long ass weeks and then I'm free to come home and cut all this shit off".

"I might just stay until then" you winked, knowing you'll probably get fired.

"I wouldn't mind" he smirked, leaning down to pepper you in kisses again, at least this time, you were heading to the bed.

#dylan o'brien #mitch rapp #dob #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #dylan obrien #dylan imagine #dylan obrien imagine #dylan o'brien imagine #american assassian #italy

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yumenosakiacademy · 5 years

Text

metr0con 2019 friday diary

Cosplayed/breakfast/snack: same as thursday diary

For future me only. preferred that you dont read this, thanks.

Okay so we arrived at like, 10:23 or abt that time so i had some time before my first panel so i just kinda walked around. i dont think anything happened around that time, sorry. my memory of today is a lil bit hazy at parts. but while on the escalator, i looked over at registration n saw creeper print and a yellow crown n the person rly looked like king gavin n i openly Gasped but i couldnt get to them obviously but i was like gjhnsmjgh hh.

then, i went to the yoi panel! uhm.. not much to comment on for this panel, sorry. there was a viktor, yuri, and yurio! i remember there was a personality swap ask and for part of the panel, they all had switched jackets because of a dare.

next was the oh-shc panel! the honey was rly cute n gave a lot of hugs to a lot of the audience members n they were such sute hugs gjhnsm.. like the ones where u semi-leap at a person n hug em w slight movement it was so cute. kyoya said his entire budget book he brought was all for tamaki’s expenses and tamaki proposed to haruhi as a dare but earlier in the panel he was imagining outloud him n haruhi’s wedding gjhnsm

after that, i couldve went to the grav!ity falls panel or the bn-ha one, but since the bn-ha one was in the same room as the previous two, i just decided to stay in my seat for that one. the todoroki n kirishima came in late w starbucks which todoroki says was paid for by endeavor bc he had his dad’s credit card n he actually gave out 2 fake paper credit cards to ppl. aizawa got asked what the dumbest thing he’s gotten asked by one of his students n he said it was “whats your quirk, aizawa?” n todoroki said “it’s not ‘is mayonaise an instrument’? then there was other stuff n they played Sentences and i suggested the scenario “furry convention” after someone suggested todoroki and izuku. ALSO!!! i won the raffle for a bn-ha poster! it was drawn by the uraraka that was one of the panelists n it looks so good ;w; dunno where im gonna put it.. but as my first fanmade print (that’s not my hs wall scroll, which was officially licensed), ill cherish it.

after that i had time to walk! i saw a bunch of id0lish cosplayers! the id0lish7 ones in the dream journey outfits n the 2 trigger members i saw were in similar outfits? i forgot the name for them. anyway! i saw a gentaro n took their pic n they were like “i hav a dice n ramuda somewhere around here.. we’re fl!ng posse” so i wndered around the dealers room n eventually found the dice n ramuda together n took their pic too! thn i kept wanderin n i!! found the king gavin n i was like “are you cosplaying king gavin” n they were like “yea!” n i was!! so happy!!! n they turned to their friend n they were like “see you shouldve stayed in costume! [turns 2 me] they were mad k!ng ryan up until a lil while ago; they changed” but anyway i took their pic n they were talking abt how it feels kinda odd to come to terms w the fact theyre cosplaying minecraft n how they saw a minecraft person earlier n thought abt talking to them but it’s different bc it’s ach!evement hunter so they dont kno the full picture. i saw a corrin w arei button!! which was exciting. also met a nico who said they were gonna b arashi that day but didnt wanna contour but theyre gonna b her tomorrow!! DURING THIS TIME i also saw an adachi body pillow at an artist’s booth n im.. gjhnskm....... i wanted it...... i later found out it was $60 tho so. ;w; i met a sougo n tamaki n i asked if i could take their pic n they said yea, just give em a sec, n the sougo was like “r u cosplayin tsukasa??” n i said yep n they were like do u wanna b in our mv?” n i thought it was a whole event thing n i was like “oh. id hav to check my schedule i might b busy but” n they were talking abt how we (me, the luka next to them, n the kaito next to luka) would just do like steps to the side by following sougos lead n i was confused n repeated myself but the sougo was like “oh, no no it’s right now” n so i did that w them while the tamaki filmed n unfortunately i 4got to ask their instagrams so idk where the vid is but w/e. the sougo told me abt an id0lish meetup at 5 pm, too, out on the docks.

the h!veswap panel was p funny! an eridan n feferi in the audience were also entertaining, esp during the improve games. i remember someone asked lanque “what r ur fashion tips?” n lanque was like “...Dont Bother” n joey was confused by troll stuff n i asked daraya what her fav punk band was n she was like “we only listen to the grubbles. have u heard em?” n i was like “i.. actually havent heard the full album yet so i guess not?” but as im typing this i think i actually have?/ oops. anyway a lot happened but it’s rly hate so im gonna.... move on. im typing this paragraph last bc i 4got to type it lmao.

a ruby and dia complimented my nails! then i saw a doppo!! they were apparently the reo i took a pic of yesterday. they said their jakurai was still getting ready.

i tried to go to the grav!ty falls party but it was just one girl as mabel making the audience do games for prizes that were rly boring like decoding n stuff so i left after abt 15 minutes n went walking again. i had 2 hrs to walk now.

i went downstairs after walkina round the dealers room n there was!! a bloody banquet rei and koga!!! they were so pretty.. i was intimidated kinda but i managed to approach them n we talked abt rei’s rei itabag n koga’s goro itabag n rei said they once spent $150 dollars in rei merch in one sitting on yahoo auctions whoa. they were rly cool tho! we talked for a few minutes. later, i also saw another hypm!c group of MTR + ramuda n took their pics n the ramuda was like “ur sign omg. wait r u tsukasa??” n i said yep n we got excited abt ES n the jakurai told me theres an ES meetup tomorrow at 1 pm!! unfortunately, i hav a panel (2, actually, but i can only choose 1) that is at that time so idk if ill go... esp since it’ll prob only b a few ppl n im not the type of person to make friends anyway, yknow? ....anyway! the hifumi game me a lil clear heart tin w tiny fake yellow flowers n a piece of paper that said: “thank u, prince/princess! -hifumi [doodle of 2 champagne glasses]” n thats.. so cute. i gave them a lollipop in return. little while later, met another jakurai! i think we also talked abt ens-tars!! cant remember a lot of it tho gomen. then a lil while later, i saw the kakeru cosplayer i had heard abt on twitter! they were manning an art booth. i was like “are you cosplaying kakeru?” n they were like “yea!” n i took their pic n i was like “i didnt think id rly find k!npri cosplayers here aa” n the kakeru went “FINALLY i can use one of these!” n handed me a lil kakeru sticker they drew n i was like “his fumb bg pink jacket.. it makes him look like a Shrimp” n we both laughed n they showed me the k!npri stuff on their table n a joji on the other side of their display that looked like he was behind bars bc the display thingy and a jin hanging from one of the bars. they (the kakeru n the person they were with) were like “we kept seeing you walk by w ur sign n we were like ‘i hope they find leo!’” (both days, bc the other person asked if i was tsukasa yesterday) n i showed them my yug!oh card that’s an obscure reference to a tsukasa cg! n i talked to them a lil bit abt ens-tars but i cant remember a lot gahh!! and while i was standing there, a honoka came up and asked for my photo n i was like “ANOTHER ES FAN??” n i talked to them for a sec n forgot to put up my prop for the photo at first gjhnsm but that was cool!! oh, the honoka also asked me if i liked anzu n i was like “she’s super cute in the anime”

after that i tried to go to the fru!ts basket panel but im only 6 eps in the remake anime n they had almost all the characters n i didnt understand a lot of the questions bc i hadnt seen much of the show so.. then after only a few minutes of q+a they started up trivis so i left n just walked around the dealers room. it was during this time that my crown fell off (SECOND DAY IN A ROW) n i searched the whole dealers room but couldnt find it?? ghh..

ANYWAY i found another ramuda w a jakurai n the ramuda liked my sign too n they were like “ur tsukasa!” n i went yep n they saw the buttons ns tuff on my bag n all my keychains n they were like ‘oh, sry” n i was like “no no, it’s okay, u can go thru all the keychains on my backpack i hav A Lot” n i pointed out chiaki as my best boy n mika as my 2nd fav n they said they cosplay hakaze. at some point, i played drops on my flip phone i think bc ramuda was saying smth pertaining to drops?? mayb not. but i played it n jakurai was like “oh god i hav to hear it hre too..” (in-character, i think) n i spotted another ramud in the distand n asked them to wtch my stuff while i took the ramudas pic so i went over n the person next to them had an arashi plush!e n we both squealed (i think. i did tho, Loudly.)

after this i just wandered n i danced on the dance floor! chacha slide, cupid shuffle, n time warp iirc! def time warp tho. also to some 80s song n some guy not in cosplay spun me around nt ried to swing dance we me but he was completely leading it n i didnt kno what to do!! after that i saw a tumblr/con friend while on my way to the yoi panel!!

then the yoi panel was actually p funny! a lot of questions abt yurio’s parents being viktor and yuri and yuri n viktor slowdanced to an edd sheeran song n otabek showed off their muscles (like, flexed their arms in their tank top) n yuri kept dramatically thwipping open their rainbow fan esp in responses to gay asks. at one point, someone asked abt yaois n a mom who was attending w their preteen or teen child was like “whats yaoi?” n the ppl behind her were like “i dont wanna b the one to do this..” n ppl told the mom n the mom to their teen/preteen kid was like “what are u watching? where? is it okay? is it on tv?” n the kid was responding to ehr questions but i couldnt hear them gjhnsm. yurio did a dance to a song n after that, we all danced to cupid shuffle n wobble n then i stopped but others did the time warp too. oh! also i answered a trivia question right (”who’s yuri’s best friend?” “pichit”) and got an utapr! keychain/strap! it’s reiji in a glitter thing. none of the other stuff there aside from some yoi straps was my fandoms so i saw utapr! n went for it.

then the bnh-a pj party! ...uh. the original panelists never showed up so random bn-ha cosplayers (and their non-cn.ha-cosplaying friends) tred to host the panel but everythign was hectic and loud n unfocused n a wreck but i noticed a ramuda n a hifumi i hadnt taken a pic of yet in the corner of the room (there were no chairs) so i eventually got annoyed/bored n went over to ask for a pic but ended up asking to sit w them (i walked over, put my sign down, n went “i said Fuck leo rights n higumi was like “that chara is familiar..” n i said leo from ES n they were like “oh i watched p 1 of that” n i was like “ep 2, this unday. stan ryuseitai”) n i ended up talking to them abt hypm!c n cosplay stuff n i talked a bit abt ens-tars and we all agreed that stella n papillion Slap on the new album. n ramuda said they were cosplaying as a prom!sed neverland haracter tomorrow n recommended it to me n i was like “oh im watching fru!ts basket rn tho” n the hifumi said they were too n the ramuda was like “do u kno the horse one in fru!ts basket? My Horse Boyfriend....” (the game. i think that was the name) so i showed them the hypm!c ask blog where they draw some of the charcaters as horses n the other characters as cowboys n the ramuda showed me the pics that r on their swear jar (photshopped pics of kinako w long legs in stockings+heels) n id0lish memes n it was all chill!! i played drops for them on my phone too. someone came over n went “if u can type w those nails, ur a god[dess]” n i said i could w Only my nails n they said i was like a god[dess] hehe. the higumi said they should make a tumblr n i heard them muttering “should i put 14 on here?” n ramuda went “well i mean, you Are 14-” n i went “ur 14?” n they nodded n i asked the ramuda how old They were n they said 14 n i was like “oh my god.. yallre babies..... gjhnsmk im 18.” n the ramuda crawled back a bit n they were like “18??” n the hifumi was like “u look so young tho whoa! rly?” n i was like “yea i look p young.. ive been compared to a freshman b4..... n yea i graduated like 2 months ago” n the hifumi was like “congratulations :o”

#A LOT MORE COULD HAV BEEN SPOKEN ABT BUT IT'S LATE N I AHV 2 GET UP EARLY OKAY #con diary

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