#and gravely insult absolutely everybody present

[kidfoundonstreets]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA last post

SON OF A BITCH I KNEW IT

thats beyond creepy. im so happy hes presented in such a horrifying way the way that dorothy fr just brought out a gun as well.. literal queen. shoot this bitch to the ground but it might frame her. agh these kinds of people will honestly never be satisfied. theyll always want more even if they do achieve a level of what they want the person theyre with will forever be haunted by what was done to get it its so messed up. if you really loved your wife you wouldve stopped. anyway THE WAY IT POV SWITCHES?? AFGH anyway holy shit. noel honey sugar gravy my world please are you alright i cant tell if its just stress or something more serious i love how more genuine ashe looks his eyes are less exaggerated and same with his mouth. its nice to see

IS THAT HIS LITTLE SISTER OH GOD HES SUBCONCIOUSLY RELATING HIS LITTLE SISTER TO NOEL’S SITUATION,, ashes caring for noel........... MY HEART. its just really sweet in general when serious stuff isnt happening i really like them

THEY!!!!!!!!! STAR SHAPED CARROTS?? HELPGFHDSFGHDSHFSH THATS SO CUTE,, the thank you ashe with noel....ahgghjhhkjhoihejoieu21o3iu21093u2132 hugs it and keeps it in a little cloud forever this made me way too happy but at the same time kinda sad

seeing ashe’s thoughts >>>>>> i wish we’d see more  he’s pointing this out but he’s not insulting it. more just a mess of feelings i guess I KNOW I SOUND COMPLETELY CALM IN TEXT BUT AGSJFHGDJSHEKJE TJHAT INTERACTION MADE ME SO GIDDY ITS JUST SO,,,,,  ma n THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE CONVERSATIONS TBH :D SEEING ASHE ACT SO,,,,,,, GENUINE?????? AND STUFF WHEN WE HAVENT THE ENTIRE GAME IS JUST NEW BUT THE GOOD KIND OF NEW IM BAD AT EXPLAINING AND REPEAT MYSELF A LOT BUT HRHHRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG rolling around on floor okay back to pointing guns i guess

THE AMPOUNT OF SADNESS I WAS RGHT AWAY PULLED BACK TO DONT DOP THIS TO ME THIS IS SO BAD IM HAPPY SHE GOT TO AT LEAST HUG HIM BEFORE SHE DIED BUT WHATLL HAPPENED TO SIRIUS NOW PLEASE DONT HURT THEM EVEN MORE HTIS IS SO  SIRIUS SEEING ALL OF HIS PARENT FIGURES IN HIS LIFE DIE HES SEEN SO MUCH AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE IM SURPRISED SEEING LADY DOROTHY DIE LIKE THIS DIDNT ABSOLUTELY DESTROY HIM OR LEAVE HIM WITH REALLY BAD ABANDOMNET ISSUES AND SAME WITH LADY DOROTHY TOO SHE WS JUST IN SO MUCH PAIN AT THAT MOMENT BUT DECIDED TO WRAP HER ARM AROUND SIRIUS EVEN STILL IM 

i just put the keysmash through a translator and nothing showed this is so messed up. but i feel bad for the monster in a way. it didnt seem to rip her apart more just consume her or something

SIRIUS. HURT. COMFORT. RIGHT NOW  HE DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE GODDAMNIT NONE OF THIS WAS DESERVED claires horrified blank reaction. yea claire crying. yea so the monster was actually patricia? did they send her down as that? hgjhkg

everybody here gravely needs a hug. like right now. the witchs heart really just drives everybody insane

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL AFTER THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA actually had to step away this is fine wilardo story wilardo story wialrdo sotry

guy has had his antenna since he was born wilardo is so weird,, it reminds me of checkers thanks old man <3 found family real the way they all have these as dreams it must not be nice I REALLY WANNA TASTE ASHE’S COOKING ISTG IT DOESNT HELP IM HUNGRY RN TOO sweets r my favorite thing

#kid's heart

[july-19th-club]

the difference between spike and xander is that spike doesnt do half the shitty things he does. the writers make him do them. xander does all his own shitty things

#at first i did have sympathy for xander freaking out at his own wedding and running away because he doesnt want to become his dad #but it took him literally two episodes to call his ex-fiance 'disgusting' for having a single rebound fling with another lonely dumpee #because the other dumpee is inhuman WITHIN EARSHOT OF: said ex-fiance. said dumpee. said dumpee's ex-girlfriend #and gravely insult absolutely everybody present #like nobody felt good abt the rebound not even spike and anya they were just depressed and drunk whatever #but i think that like buffy knew that hey this is what i did ask for him to do is it not? little late to be upset about it now #meanwhile xander is saying all of the following: hey ex-fiance i keep saying i still love! i can't stomach inhumanity yours or anyone else's #hey guy i've known for five years! i don't see you as a person so much as a cartoon devil put on earth to oppose Virtuous Manhood #hey best friend of some time! when i say all of the above know it applies to you too and i think of you as tainted by association #wow what the fuck dude #buffy the vampire slayer

[foreverlostindreams]

Don’t ever dump me again

Friends. That's the reason Kol invited you here, because you were ‘friends’. He seemed to be lacking any more of those, or he would not drag you out every time he wanted to go for a drink, just to be distracted by any pretty neck walking past. And while you were glad that you had moved on from being on the menu, to being an, at least right now, treasured witchy help for the Mikaelson, you could definitely go without another evening spent alone in a bar, he chose for the two of you ‘to have fun’. You didn't have fun. Who would getting basically dumped every other night? It was not the best thing for your ego, so you ordered another drink.

It was just your luck, that sitting alone at a bar like this one seemed to attracted all kinds of other lonely or wishful guests of even that bar to try their best of getting closer to you. The stool next to you was still empty, but when the bartender brought you another drink, shortly after your ordered one, you knew that was going to end very quickly. The sound of dragging wood on wood seconds later proved you right and then you saw the guy appearing in the corner of your left eye.

He was not as dubious and off-putting as the other ones you usually attracted in establishments Kol dragged you to, but you also did not get a good vibe from him right away.

A good half an hour and a few drinks later you had warmed up to him though. No supernatural about him at all, right now a fat plus on your chart and just a lot of charming talk about college and annoying friends, just what you needed. You had started college before getting sucked into all the Mikaelson mess and even though you had not liked it there a single bit, compared to some of the things you did now, hell did you miss it. He seemed to have a slight intention of getting you tipsy, based on how fast he ordered you new drinks, when yours got empty, but you knew how to handle your liquor and based on the fact, that Kol in average would take another half an hour before he would get back to get you, you were just fine with how it was.

That was before the next drink hit you very differently. Your head was spinning instantly and you could feel your balance going off. Roofies, oh for fucks sake. You stumbled off your stool trying to get away from him, but your body was not cooperating very much. When he got up as well, playing the perfect help and no word of protest that you were trying to form would leave your lips, you started to feel a slight panic creeping up. There was no witchy power protecting you from this or reversing it, definitely not while you were in this state. God, you were so stupid. The first thing you learn in College, always watch your cup and don’t take drinks from strangers. Having spent so much time with vampires and angry werewolves, you had forgotten about all those mundane dangers. You could kick yourself.

Your thoughts were racing, when you felt the cold night wind on your face. He was getting you further and further away from the back alley or whatever kind of service room Kol, aka your only chance of help and his play thing were in, to everybody else you seemed like a drunk mess, that a friend was helping. “Km” you mumbled only to try directly again, with more force “Kom'' and again “Kol!”

Thank god you were not out with Elijah, you would have never gotten his name out, even though he probably would have not let it have come to this in the first place. But ones you had managed to get the name right once, you didn't stop, repeating it like a prayer. Hoping to get through the bar and street noise like this. Annoying him like he always would with you. When you heard a car door open next to you, full on panicking now, it mobiliced all the brain capacity you could manage “Kol, help!” you nearly screamed, as your legs finally failed in those heels under you and you fell against the car door, jamming the guys hand in the progress. You could hear him swear and then smell a very familiar smell in the next air breeze.

“I said have fun, Darling, not organize presents. But I’m not complaining.” He definitely did not know, when he could be funny and when not, you determined while trying to get safely to the ground to crawl away from the danger zone your ‘nice’ college dude had maneuvered himself into. You didn’t get to crawl through, you were picked up before that. The suit sleeves covering the arms in your vision did not seem like what Kol was dressed in the last time you saw him, but the voice you had heard was his. Trying to focus was getting more and more difficult you noticed and you felt your eyes getting heavier, before you felt something wet getting pressed to your lips. The first impulse was defence, but without much effect and when the copper taste hit your tongue you gave in. Vampire blood was probably your only chance now.

When the clouds started to lift off your mind and your own legs started to support your body again you let go and looked for the guy. You’d be damned if he would get away with this, but Kol had him good and scared to death, his hand still stuck in the car door. Now that couldn’t be good. On a second thought you turned around wide eyed before you realized it was Elijah who had helped you get the drugs out of your system. Where did he come from? They had promised you, they could not read minds. “I was trying to call you, to do a spell for Klaus, but you didn’t answer, so I was going to pick you up.” he offered you an answer, before you could even ask. An oppressed scream reached your ears distracting you again.

“Don’t kill him!” you scolded Kol, trying to get closer only to realise that vampire blood might have helped, but you were not yet your balanced and stable self. “Oh come on Darling! You can not still feel sorry for him. He was not going to take you on a picnic” he shot back dramatically “I know” I hissed at him and instantly regretted it, when his grin got wider again “Oh, so you want the honor?” “No” okay, maybe a bit and you got the chance earlier than expected because the idiot really did try to make his escape in just that moment. The force with which you smashed him into the ground before he did his second step and one of the other two men made a move was entirely because of the drugs, of course.

Pinning him like this you looked back at Kol “I want you to compel him to go to the next police department, demand to speak to a female officer and confess to her about every woman he ever did this to. And about the place where he gets the drugs, if he knows about any other guy doing it. Absolutely everything” “You are no fun” Kol complained “I am in this situation, because you fucking idiot always want to have fun, drag me along and then dump me at the bar. My liver is probably going to get me in an early grave, all because of you” You went off on him and could feel Elijah's disapproving look shooting over your head at his little brother. “Are you saying, you never had fun with me?” He really seemed insulted, what did he expect? “Like I say, you always disappear and the bars you choose are not known for it’s amazing clientele, but it’s the only escape I get from the third brother in your family, that would like to see me work on something for him every waking minute of the day, so i tag along.”

“Ready to go home?” Elijah asked then and offered you his arm, like the perfect gentleman he was “Kol, you got this?” he asked in a totally different kind of voice, while leading me to the passenger seat of his car. How had you not noticed he seemingly hit the brakes and parked directly behind you and the idiots car? “We are not done talking about this Darling!” “Oh, I so am. I will not discuss anything with any of you anymore today. I will not do any spells. I will just go to bed and sleep for a day or two. Maybe wake up in a life, where mine is not so out of control” A girl could dream.

Of course, you were back at breakfast the next morning already reading the grimoire Klaus had gotten in ways you didn’t want to know anything about. He had not complained to you about the time he had lost last night, but you were sure he spent the whole time you were asleep doing it to Elijah, who had put his food down about your need to sleep, also citing that trying a difficult spell with a halfway drugged witch was not their best chance. You were also sure Kol had heard his bit about letting it get to that.

Just when thinking of the devil, he slipped into the stool to your left, looking disapproving on your cornflakes. “That was how my last evening turned from bad to catastrophic” you commented on his move without looking up from the page. “You really did not enjoy a single evening?” Was his pride honestly hurt about that aspect? “Nop” “I thought you were! I thought, that was what you wanted, a way out of this house and not see a single vampire for ones, that's what you had said'' In that moment the penny dropped in your mind. You had said that! A little over a month ago, the day after Kol had arrived back here, when Klaus had had one of his days and Elijah was not on your side the way you had wanted him to, you had stormed off slamming doors and screaming your frustration out with those words. The day after, Kol had asked you to a bar for the first time.

You looked at him, checking for signs that he might prank you, but he looked genuine. You took a deep breath “Okay, let's start again. Hi, my name is Y/N. Your family drives me insane, sometimes I need a timeout from that, but I still do not like to be dumped in shitty bars, when asked out.” Kol took your offered hand “Well then, Miss Y/N. I will remember that. Would you like to accompany me to a better bar tomorrow evening, to redeem myself as good company?” “That sound not bad at all” He grinned back at you and then got up. “By the way darling, I would not eat that, it smells bad.” “Shut up Kol, better be worried, if you ever dump me again!” You could hear his laugh, even when he left the room.

#kol mikaelson #kol mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson x you #kol mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #witch reader #the vampire diaries #the originals #the originals imagine

[zenosanalytic]

Harrow the Ninth: Blood and Guts; With Feeling!!!

While I’m sure the physical trauma, gore, intentional autophagia, unintentional cannibalism, and necrophilia in the book will be what turns mainstream heads, what really grabbed me about Harrow the Ninth was its unabashed and sincere humanity.

Every character in Harrow the Ninth gets to be a full human being. The best example to my mind is Crux: a gruesome cadaver 2 parts loyalty, 3 parts shouting, and 5 parts sheer bloody-minded cussedness; who blew up a long-grieving, broken family(and their completely innocent pilot) for the “crime” of leaving the place that murdered their husband and father and broke them; who insulted, beat, and tortured Gideon her WHOLE DAMN LIFE. And, also, the major, if not only, source of kindness and sympathy in Harrow’s own.

CRUX!!! Kind uncle Crux sneaking her sweets once a year and whenever she gets sick? Reliable retainer Crux always honest with her about her hallucinations and never judging or dismissing her for them; doing EVERY BIT of what little he can to help and protect her? Soft-voiced and kind Crux being the only member of the household who DOESNT abandon her in the Nova AU? THIS IS HOW HARROW SEES CRUX! The guy who casually kicked and spit on Gideon, who treated her as less than trash and never showed her even the shadow of an ounce of kindness is, in Harrow’s mind, the kindest person in her life. That is Fucking Wild.

Everyone is allowed to be 3D in this book, even when Harrow and Gideon disdain them. Ortus -a too-big blubbering joke in Gideon the Ninth, and Gideon and Harrow’s minds both- doesn’t JUST get to be brave, to be selfless, to confront and face up to and SURMOUNT his mistakes and flaws and then ride off glorious and stupid into Valhalla, he gets something so much more important; to speak for himself. To be Known. Understood. Through Harrow’s petty sniping we get to see the love and care he has for his shitty poetry; through her defensively projected self-loathing his regret, his sympathy, the breadth of his Heart, the loyalty to Harrow which lets him be insulted and also the stubborn pride which insists those insults not go unanswered. I’m tearing up just writing this! We get to see, in his meeting Protesilaus, him struggle with the very image of EVERYTHING he wants to be but isn’t, AND we get to see him resolve that displaced self-hatred to BOTH men -who he is, and who he isn’t- and befriend them both, and realize that the physical distance between them is superficial before the siblinghood of souls, and even more: that the conceptual distance between his ideal and his reality doesn’t have to prevent him from being good. He’s still a side character but he gets an arc, development, a story, and resolution, and HE gets to give its summation. And he’s allowed to be Heroic in his own way! HIS words summon his Hero from The River to speak HIS meter while fighting to save them all powered by THEIR shared belief in HIS Art, and then a heaven of his own defining. What other book does that for a JOKE character?!

And again: this is everybody. Yes of course the souls Harrow unknowingly called up, all those too-soon dead from Gideon the Ninth; We get to see Abigail and Magnus’s love for one another -and the dreadful teens, and their universal big-heartedness- up close, and the refutation of(or perhaps counterpoint to) Ianthe’s selfish conception of love gets to come from Magnus’s lips(oh: and Abigail SAVES THE FLIPPIN DAY! Harrow gets to know her and, through this, we get to know the true tragic waste of her death at the same time that we get to watch her MAKE her own meaning from beyond the grave); we get to see Protesilaus’s bravery and grace and kindness; Dulcinea’s indefatigability and cleverness and morbidity; Marta’s selflessness and unshakeable faith in Judith; we get to see ALL OF THEM run literally soul-risking cosmic dangers to shepherd one grieving, suffering, traumatized young woman -their jailer!- not only THROUGH that grief, but also through spiritual invasion by the product of their society’s sins: Of COURSE that was Noble as Fuck and I was Sobbing.

but EVERYBODY! John, for all his exTREMELY fucked up morality and inability to understand her, GENUINELY cares for Harrow, GENUINELY tries to see the best in everyone(even if, I suspect, that’s for mostly selfish reasons), and we get to see the sincerity of that; his care, and the self-recrimination his missteps bring despite that unyielding, bullheaded, self-warping insistence to continue on one Faustian course after another. The Lyctors in all their twisted, ancient cruelty: we get to see their surviving virtues beside their ENORMOUS, demented, murderous flaws -Augustine’s cleverness, wit and charm; Mercymorn’s outrage at endangering the young; Gideon’s faithful dutifulness; the endless love and sorrow all of them have for their Cavaliers- in the context of the fear and strain and loneliness the Emperor has forced them to endure for ten thousand years. We get to see the true grief and betrayal, fresh and bloody even now, they feel at John’s lies and manipulations, the relief they feel at thinking it all finally over, and even some small glimpses of the love they’ve managed to carve out for themselves in all of that: Gideon’s necrophilic makeout with Cytherea’s corpse takes on a whole different meaning when you learn that the first soul he’s truly loved since Pyrra is driving it around. And this too is significant; for all the discomfort it brings Harrow, and the general gross-out factor, and despite their villainy, the Kindly Prince and his Lyctors, the “Adults in the Room”, are allowed to have desires; allowed to be full and sexual people.

And the same sentiment extends to how Ianthe is written. As much as she is Harrow’s tormentor(and she is); as much as she is a ghastly, gaslighting manipulator(and she absolutely is); we also clearly see that she is Harrow’s fellow prisoner and victim on that station. Her terror is real; her suffering is allowed to be real. As much as they would Harrow, the Lyctors would as soon kill Ianthe as help her, and the Emperor not only allows that mindset but orders it thinking it helpful; just so long as his deniability remains plausible throughout. She gets to be Harrow’s safest harbor in a sea of troubles while ALSO being the person fucking with her perceptions to build in her feelings of helplessness and dependency for the SOLE PURPOSE of getting in her pants. Yet Gideon herself names her joy at seeing Harrow alive Genuine; her love for Harrow, Genuine; as twisted and awful-made by the cruel ideals instilled by her life of entitlement and emotional abuse they are, those feelings are still allowed to be real and heart-felt. Her attraction to Harrow, expressed cruelly and selfishly as it is, isn’t dismissed; Muir treats it always seriously, as she does Harrow’s own desires, and repressed confusion over them, for Ianthe. Everybody in this book gets to be REAL.

Fuck even Alecto. Over and over again we get to hear the Lyctors call her a Freak, a Monster, Subhuman(and given her eyes, those white-on-black oddities, it’s very likely she ISNT human; either a Planet-Soul herself or something even stranger); we get to hear from John’s own lips -the person SHE guarded; HER Necromancer in a pairing we have seen presented as the epitome of intimacy through two books- how he betrayed and “killed” her to calm their fears of her; and yet all the while there she is with Harrow, comforting, advising, never shaming or judging, being the only real friend Harrow’s allowed herself to be aware of.

Harrow the Ninth may very well be “Genre” Fiction, but its emotional universal is not only meticulously naturalistic, it is radiantly understanding and humane.

#Tamsyn Muir #Harrow the Ninth #Harrow the Ninth Spoilers #The Locked Tomb Series #HtN Analysis #zA Reads #analytic posts

[365days365movies]

February 7, 2021: Emma. (2020)

Another late one, people! Tomorrow might be a bit later, too, full warning. Like I said, school’s back in session, and I got students to teach and class to prepare!

When I was a kid, I was a pretty avid reader, mostly due to my mom’s drive to get me to be an avid reader. I read Shakespeare from an early age, which might be why I like it so much, and why I remember it so well. 

I also read Jane Austen’s Emma when I was 10 years old. On a related note, I remember none of Jane Austen’s Emma. On another related note, I’m fairly certain that I saw its most famous adaptation, Clueless, and I don’t remember that either.

I’m tempted to rewatch that one, since I don’t remember it AT ALL, but I figure that I’m going to place a more direct adaptation of the work first on my list of priorities. And so, one of the ONLY movies to come out last year is one my list, starring an up-and-coming “it girl,” Anya Taylor-Joy.

From what I can tell, this is a fairly popular movie on this platform, so I’m looking forward to watching it, despite knowing NOTHING about it, other than the fact that it’s a romance drama, and based off of a classic British novel by Jane Austen. Shall we? SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Emma Woodhouse (Anya Taylor-Joy) lives in the 1815 English countryside, with her father, Mr. Woodhouse (Bill Nighy), and her caretaker, Mrs. Taylor (Gemma Whelan). However, this is about to change, as she is to marry Mr. Weston (Rupert Graves) that day.

Emma is a sweet girl, who seems to be ale to predict things to pass. She also set up the present marriage, although she seems not to want one for herself. However, she also seems interested in the whereabouts of Mr. Taylor’s son, Frank. He never shows up, though.

Meanwhile, the Woodhouses are visited by George Knightley (Johnny Flynn), whom her father favors, and whom Emma seems to clash with. And Imma call it now: they totally end up together in the end. I mean, c’mon.

Emma’s trying to replace Mrs. Weston nee Taylor as a governness, despite the fact that her father doesn’t want it. Emma finds Harriet Smith (Mia Goth), a young women whom she goes to school with, and apparently might be the illegitimate daughter of a nobleman. She’s also interested in setting Harriet up, as Emma prides her skills as a matchmaker.

However, Harriet’s already interested in a local farmer, Robert Martin (Connor Swindels), but Emma’s trying to set her up with a local vicar, Elton (Josh O’Connor). They go to meet Mrs. Weston, and Emma introduces herself to Elton, who she believes likes her in return.

The next day, Emma and Harriet go to the store, where the gossipy busybody Miss Bates (Miranda Hart) comes to speak with the VERY unwilling Emma, and the considerably more interested Harriet. Miss Bates is speaking up her niece, Jane, although Emma certainly doesn’t seen to care nearly as much as Miss Bates thinks she does.

On the way home, Harriet and Emma encounter Robert Martin, and Emma's definitely not a fan of that potential relationship. Instead, she regularly puts down Mr. Martin, and talks up Vicar Elton.

As Elton and Harriet begin getting closer, and Emma seems to be vindicated in support of the relationship she set up, Knightley’s...not impressed. In a conversation with Mrs. Weston, he basically says that she gets high on flattery, and while she isn’t necessarily a true narcissist, she still NEEDS approval from her peers and others. That’s why she’s setting up Harriet, who feeds her constant flattery.

In addition, her whole “never going to get married” thing doesn’t seem to fly with George, here, who’d like her to fall in love with someone who isn’t...well, a simp, let’s be honest here. And honestly, this is already an interesting character dissection, and I can dig it.

Knightley complicates matters for Emma, when he convinces Martin to write a letter, asking for Harriet’s hand in marriage. However, due to Emma’s subtle manipulations, she convinces Harriet to refuse the proposal, despite the fact that she clearly wants to say yes. And while Emma might be beautiful, and quite smart...yeah, she’s a bitch. Or, at the very least, she acts like one for her own benefit.

Knightley, pissed off about this whole thing, confronts Emma about her manipulations, and states that Martin might be the ideal match for Harriet. After calling her out, and warning her that Elton miiiiiiight be a bit of a ladies’ man, and that he’s certainly the wrong match for Harriet in the end. Emma admits that she mostly wants to keep Harriet for herself.

Autumn turns to Winter, and Emma’s older sister Isabella Knightley (Chloe Pirrie), and her husband John Knightley (Oliver Chris) (and George’s younger brother) come to visit Emma and her father for the holidays. George and Emma make amends, although Emma still won’t admit that she may have been wrong.

Christmas Day comes, and Harriet is sick, while Frank Churchill once again neglects to appear at the house of his father and new wife. George berates his neglect of his familial duties, while Emma argues in his favor, obviously harboring a crush on him still.

At dinner, Elton makes a remark about snow, causing LITERALLY EVERYBODY to leave the party prematurely, and Emma’s father accidentally leaves her behind. Elton, however, offers to give her a ride in his carriage. And in the carriage, he reveals that not only does he actually love Emma, but that he doesn’t care for Harriet at fucking ALL. Fuckin’ WHOOF.

Looks like Elton’s misread EVERY POSSIBLE SIGNAL, and Emma FUCKED UP SOMETHING FIERCE. Harriet is quite saddened by this, and is about to destroy a portrait of herself that Emma made for her. However, Emma instead keeps it. Elton disappears for a number of weeks, just as the niece of Miss Bates, Jane Fairfax (Amber Anderson) suddenly reappears.

At dinner, it’s revealed that Jane appears to know Frank Churchill, as they live in the same place. During a piano performance of Jane’s that’s WAY BETTER than Emma’s performance, it’s also revealed that Emma’s been compared to her all of her life, giving her some fat, fat insecurities!

After an awkward encounter with Mr. Martin, Harriet goes to the Martin household to visit his sisters. Meanwhile, the long-awaited arrival of Frank Churchill (Callum Turner) comes, and Emma is unsurprisingly smitten with him. He asks her for a dance at an upcoming dinner, and she accepts.

Knightley is, of course, not impressed with the worldly gentleman. Meanwhile, someone has apparently delivered a pianoforte to Jane Fairfax, and it’s pretty goddamn obvious that it was Frank Churchill. Although, it’s possible that it was George Knightley, who’s been matched to her by Mrs. Weston.

And it’s at this point that I should point out that GODDAMN THIS IS A SOAP-OPERA OF A MOVIE. The hyper-detailed intentions and events, all happening within the confines of high society and etiquette are both overly intricate, while also managing to be...weirdly enrapturing.

The next morning, after a six-week absence, Elton’s come back to town with brand new wife, Augusta Elton (Tanya Reynolds) in tow. Augusta matches Emma’s passive-aggressiveness measure-for-goddamn-measure, which, yeah, PISSES EMMA OFF.

But it’s still good news on the horizon, as Frank’s appearance has prompted the Westons to hold a ball. While Emma and Frank seem to be getting along, Elton is prevented to opportunity to dance with Harriet, only to refuse LIKE AN ABSOLUTE TAINT. On the verge of tears, Harriet’s rescued by George, and they dance alongside the rest of the partygoers.

Emma shows his appreciation for this, and Knightley returns his appreciation for her friendship with Harriet, who’s way goddamn better than Augusta. The two decide to dance together, and the two basically fall in love RIGHT GODDAMN THERE AND I AM GODDAMN HERE FOR IT.

Which sucks, because I’m, what, a little more than halfway in? No way it’s this easy.

And as Knightley and Emma realize their feelings the next day, they actually run towards each other, SEE each other...and then get iterrupted by Frank carrying Harriet post-her being attacked by muggers GOD FUCKING DAMMIT REALLY?

Plus, it looks like Harriet might be in love with Knightley now, after the previous night. HowEVER, since the previous night, Emma is now in love with Knightley, and believes that Harriet’s feelings are directed towards her rescuer, Frank Churchill. But Frank’s in love with Jane. Like, for sure he’s in love with Jane. And Knightley’s in love with Emma, although Mrs. Weston believes that he’s in love with ane, as he leant her his chariot the previous night, although he DIDN’T do that, and the chariot (and piano) must’ve come from Frank, who’s actually in love with her, not Harriet, as Emma believes. YOU GOT THAT? BECAUSE I’M ASTONISHED THAT I DO

Summer comes, and there seemingly no major changes to the love lives of our main characters. Can’t say that for George’s mansion, as he’s unveiled all of the paintings in the place.

Might be wrong about the progression of relationship thing, as George and Harriet appear to be getting along, and Emma and George suddenly...aren’t. And THEN, Jane tells Ema that she’s feeling super down at the moment, and leaves. Which is when Frank shows up, which Emma appears to not be super happy about.

Later, at a luncheon, Emma takes out her emotions upon Miss Bates who, while kind of annoying during the film, doesn’t deserve the insult lobbied her way by Emma. Afterwards, George DESTROYS her, and she...she gets it. She’s been an asshole.

After a good cry, she goes to apologize to Miss Bates, who immediately forgives her, as she tends to do. It’s also pretty quickly revealed after that that we find out that Frank has ALWAYS been engaged to Jane, since he arrived to Highbury. AND, Emma finally findss out that Harriet’s in love with George, not Frank. Which...yeah, Emma’s not a huge fan of, for obvious reasons.

However, Emma points out that George might have been trying to get Harriet involved with Mr. Martin, but also tries to step back. However, Harriet RIGHTLY calls her out this time, bringing up the fact that Emma fancies George, and that it’s because of Emma that she refused Mr. Martin. And Emma finally gets it. ALL of it.

George, hearing of Frank’s engagement, goes to comfort Emma in her time of distress. And after railing out Frank for his lying ass, he starts to confess his true feelings to Emma. But she tries to stop him, but THERE AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ LOVE BABY

And as he STRAIGHT-UP PROPOSES to her...her nose bleeds and she says no.

Finally, it’s confirmed that George was speaking on Mr. Matin’s behalf, not his own, and Emma pledges to make things right herself. She delivers the painting of Harriet to Mr. Martin, and he proposes to her. Harriet accepts, and has also finally heard from her father, who isn’t a nobleman at all, but a shoemaker. Emma still invites them over to their estate, and the two make up as friends.

And speaking of making up, George and Emma also make up, and the two are officially engaged to be wed. And it’s honestly...quite lovely. Which describes the whole film, which comes to a close.

WHEW. Now THAT...was a Recap. See you in the Review!

#emma. #emma #emma 2020 #emma (2020) #emma woodhouse #johnny flynn #george knightley #mia goth #harriet smith #miranda hart #bill nighy #romance february #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #usercsenge #userbennet #userrobin #userkatiea #ulexi #anya taylor-joy

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Game Night

You know what would have been great? If it had actually been a mystery who was attacking Donatello instead of it being obviously spoiled by the Previouslies.  

Also, remember how last episode whoever wrote it had Jack parroting a dumb fanfic line about movie nights every Tuesday?  Apparently whoever wrote this episode doesn't as there's this whole production about how it's soooo different from normal for them to stay in.  Continuity is something that happens to other shows.

The most disappointing thing about this episode was I started it with the thought that I would probably be a million times more entertained watching an actual game night in the bunker instead of whatever “plot” this episode was going to subject the characters to – and nothing that happened changed my mind.

It's off to a great start with Laurence suddenly being in a mysterious dead zone that has never, so far as I can recall, had any effect on the Winchester's ability to talk on the phone until right now.  Transparent and moronic excuse to split Sam & Dean up is transparent and moronic.

When we meet her, Sister Jo/Anael calls herself a so-so angel.  She tells Lucifer her job was literally to push a button to count souls and her suggestions were ignored by everybody – she was a nobody angel.  Suddenly when this episode's writer needed an angel?  Actually, that was after her demotion!  She was totes Joshua's right hand before that and knows how he communicated with God!  Yeah, that would totally not have come up the first time.  Just like how it makes sense that Lucifer didn't splat her ass for talking shit about him.  Plausibility is also something that happens to other shows, apparently.

So is subtlety.  Mary's speeches to Dean and Sam are such obvious shoehorned goodbye speeches that the writers couldn't have telegraphed they're about to kill her off any harder even if they put a giant glowing skull and crossbones above her head. Putting entirely aside the complete absurdity of her comparing her robot-self to Dean. 

Again, there's supposedly some ~deep~ ~significant~ story here with should-be-a-drooling-vegetable!Nick about vessels, but no.  There is literally no reason he is not dead other than this show's Pellegrino boner and we have seen nothing at all similar with Dean or anyone else in terms of vessel aftereffects (if for no other reason than because that would require the writers actually write for a Winchester and LOL).  So it doesn't work as a theme and is just as much of a daft waste of time as it's always been.  I don't care if he's Nick.  I don't care if he's Lucifer.  I don't care if he's crazy!Nick who just thinks he's at least part Lucifer.  Since we already threw not killing humans out the window, Dean should have let Sam kill him and just gone back to game night - maybe tried to save Donatello if they felt like it. 

After all the times we've seen Sam and Dean track people down, I just can not believe that Nick randomly has the skills to hide Donatello so very well that Sam and Dean couldn't find him, even with the time limit.  Except that's how all Dabbernatural's characters work, they magically manifest skills at random when needed for the “plot” – unless they're Sam, Dean, or Cas, who constantly lose skills at random so the extras supposedly present a challenge.  Like how Nick also manages to beat Sam in a fight.  What was that about plausibility I said earlier?

I am bothered that Jack does not fix Sam first.  Dean calls to tell Jack and Mary that Sam is gravely injured, but Jack goes after Nick first.  Jack's healing powers take, like, five seconds?  I think it just goes to show Dabbernatural's priorities.  In terms of what they tackle first (OMG! PELLEGRINO! SQUEE!) and how important the relationships between the characters are when it comes to actually showing them instead of just telling us they’re totes important (soulless or not – and I'm not sure the writers are on the same page here, tbh - Jack's motivation has been so very tied to the Winchesters, except not today!).  Not to mention that I suspect the writers think if they throw in a scene of Dean worrying over Sam we won't care about how stupid the circumstances are that are necessary to make it happen.  Nah.

As to the end?

Dear Chuck, what was with those special effects?  They were so cheesy and terrible, yikes.  Also, considering that I firmly believe there is no goddamn reason for not wasting Nick at least five or ten episodes ago, I see absolutely no reason for Jack not to kill him.  If the writers weren't railroading Mary and Jack on the train to Nonsense Plotville, Mary would probably shoot him herself.  But because Jack burns him up in a few seconds? Oh noes, so wrong!  Fuck. That.

Apparently, after the signposting earlier Mary knew she was going to die, so she donated her brain to science in advance.   That is the only reason for her to continue chasing down Jack and get exploded.  She knows something's wrong with him, she knows he's always had issues with properly controlling his powers, she knows he very well may not have a soul at the moment (in fact, she seems to have decided this is the case) and so she chases him down as he's obviously freaking out to keep whining in his ear? This isn't death by Jack, this is, once again, death by bad writing. They absolutely could have written Jack killing Mary by accident in a way that wasn't insulting to the character's (and the audience’s) intelligence – they just didn't see any reason to bother.

#spn 14x17 #spn season 14 #writer incompetence #anti nick #negativity for ts

[xtruss]

Interview with Mary Trump

"Donald Is a Fascist and the Republicans Are Trying To Destroy Our Democracy"

In an interview, Mary Trump, the only niece of the former American president, talks about an uncle she describes as dangerous, his enduring power and the growing hate in America.

— Interview Conducted By Marc Pitzke | 08.25.2021

— SPIEGEL International

Mary Trump: "He's literally the weakest person I've ever known." Foto: Sara Naomi Lewkowicz / DER SPIEGEL; Michael Reynolds / Zuma Press / action press

Mary Trump, Donald Trump's only niece, has just finished a talk show appearance by video chat from her kitchen. She's sitting in the library of her apartment building, trying to relax. The ceiling-high shelves behind her are filled with carefully curated coffee table books. Through the wall of windows, one can see Manhattan's thick traffic below.

Trump, however, seems irritated. "This was the first time I've been treated badly in an interview," she says.

She had just appeared on "The View," a popular morning chat show, where they discussed politics, the pandemic and racism. Yet one co-host checked out of the conversation without even greeting her: Meghan McCain, daughter of the late senator John McCain, who had been reviled and insulted by Donald Trump even as he went to his grave.

The younger McCain is famous – infamous – for her own conservative tirades. After the show with Mary Trump, she tweeted: "There is no 'good' Trump family member to me."

And there it is, Mary Trump's burden: her last name.

She will be forever linked to her uncle, his lies, is hubris, his incompetence, his autocratic tendencies – and the damaging fallout from his one term as president.

Last year, the psychologist published her memoirs: "Too Much and Never Enough." The book revealed the horrific family history of the Trumps – and made her a target of Trump fanatics, who still worship the former president. For months, she hardly left the house – because of COVID-19, but also out of fear of being recognized and vilified.

Now Trump, 56, has written a second book, "The Reckoning: America's Trauma and Finding a Way To Heal." It addresses the darkest period of U.S. history, with the nation's enduring racism, and, of course, her uncle.

DER SPIEGEL: Ms. Trump, last summer you called your uncle the world's most dangerous man. Now that he's out of office, do you still feel that way?

Trump: After the election, I was happy for about a minute. I was very relieved, of course, but the number of people who voted for him was just heartbreaking. Seventy-four million! Yes, Joe Biden won. But the Democrats in general didn't win enough. We needed a total repudiation of Donald and his party, and we didn't get one.

DER SPIEGEL: So, you think he still presents a danger?

Trump: We're not out of the woods. It became clear right after the election that he was going to do everything in his power to undermine the legitimacy of the results and that the Republicans were just going to let him do it. For him, losing is not acceptable and winning doesn't mean legitimately winning, it just means getting the win. He knows he didn't win, but I don't believe he knows he lost, either.

DER SPIEGEL: How so?

Trump: He's been trying for two years to steal this election. I don't believe he can wrap his head around the fact that everything he did, all the stops he pulled out, all the stops the Republican Party pulled out for him, haven't worked. So, he's still trying to steal this election.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you see Jan. 6, when a mob of his supporters stormed the Capitol Building, as such an attempt?

Trump: He is very good at finding people weaker than he is, which is shocking because he's literally the weakest person I've ever known. But they're out there obviously, in large numbers. Then, there are people who are much smarter and powerful than he is, who know how to use him. So, it's a very dangerous combination. Were there people around him who knew that it could very possibly lead to that moment? Absolutely. Was he completely willing and comfortable to take advantage of the situation and make it worse for his benefit? Absolutely.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you think he welcomed what he saw on Jan. 6?

Trump: Oh, my gosh, yeah. It was probably one of the best days of his life. The worse it got, the happier he was. It wasn't an accident when he told the mob that if he wasn't granted the victory, it was Mike Pence's fault. So, should we be surprised that people were running around with nooses wanting to string Mike Pence up? It would have been perfectly fine with him. Absolutely. The only thing he probably regrets about that is that there wasn't more violence.

DER SPIEGEL: What went through your mind that day?

Trump: I hadn't listened to his speech beforehand, because I've tried whenever possible not to listen to him or look at him, because I don't care what he has to say. At first, like everybody else, I found it really hard to know what precisely was going on. It just looked like a mess. The first word that came to mind was tawdry. But then it became obvious to me that it was much worse than that. This is our Capitol! This is the center of – well, I don't like to say American democracy, because I don't think America has ever completely been a democracy like we aspire to be.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you think he will run again in 2024?

Trump: I don't know. But because he's being enabled, he sees an opening. He feels the power. He also knows that the only way he stays out of legal trouble is to get back into power.

DER SPIEGEL: Does it weigh on you to be so personally connected to his world? In your new book you reveal that in 2017, a few months after your uncle's inauguration, you went into inpatient treatment for post traumatic stress disorder. What happened?

Trump: I just remember feeling so out of control. I remember spinning out and didn't know how to stop. I lived in a very Republican town then, so I was really isolated. For the first time in my life, I lost friends because of an election, and I knew I needed to do something. But despite the fact that I'm a psychologist, I didn't know there were treatment programs for that. I knew there were for addictions, but I didn't know there was such a thing for post-traumatic stress.

DER SPIEGEL: Your uncle traumatized half the nation.

Trump: Every once in a while, I think about how this country will be forever stained by what he did. That's really hard. We never recover from that. Maybe in 200 years, but not while I'm alive.

DER SPIEGEL: Don't you think his spell is broken? Joe Biden's policies are pretty popular, and Trump's "Big Lie" hasn't amounted to anything.

Trump: The Democrats don't understand the seriousness of the threat. They are playing by rules in a rulebook that the Republicans lit on fire. There are no rules anymore. They need to start fighting like their lives depend on it. But they're just not willing to do that. There is an unwillingness – also in the U.S. media – to use the kind of language that is accurate and necessary to get people to understand the seriousness of the threat.

DER SPIEGEL: How serious is it?

Trump: Donald is a fascist, and the Republicans are an autocratic, anti-democratic, counter-majoritarian party that would be perfectly happy to establish some kind of apartheid in this country. They are actively trying to destroy our democracy. If they win back the House in 2022, it would be fatal to the American experiment. I wouldn't be surprised if they make Donald, two years before the presidential election, speaker of the house. And then there will never be another Democrat allowed to win an election.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you really believe that?

"The Democrats don't understand the seriousness of the threat. They are playing by rules in a rulebook that the Republicans lit on fire. There are no rules anymore."

Trump: We see it happening already. Last year, there were 155 million presidential votes cast in this country. There have been maybe 36 cases of voter fraud, which is a vanishingly small number. And yet, we've got hundreds of voter suppression laws in place or being pushed by the Republicans. If the Democrats lose the House and/or the Senate in the 2022 midterms, it's over. It is over.

DER SPIEGEL: You don't think the U.S. democracy is resilient?

Trump: The way this country is structured is inherently anti-democratic.

DER SPIEGEL: What do you mean?

Trump: The U.S. Constitution is not a democratic document. For example, we currently have a 50-50 split in the Senate, but the 50 Republican senators represent 40 million less people than the 50 Democratic senators – because the constitution gives every state two senate seats, no matter how populous.

Trump supporters in Washington, D.C. on Jan. 6: "It was probably one of the best days of his life. The worse it got, the happier he was." Foto: Shay Horse / NurPhoto / Getty Images

DER SPIEGEL: In your new book, you write: "The ugly history of our country is filled with sordid, barbaric and inhuman acts committed by average citizens which were encouraged or at least condoned by the highest levels of government. To deny this history means to deny our national trauma." That's a devastating judgement – how did you come to that conclusion?

Trump: If there's one thing Americans are very good at, it's perpetuating myths about ourselves.

DER SPIEGEL: For instance?

Trump: One of the most astonishing things this country got away with was portraying itself as a beacon of democracy during World War II, while at the same time an entire population of people was being held in what was essentially a closed, fascist state in the South. Black Americans who served their country came home only to be lynched because they had the audacity to wear the uniform. Part of that is also that people think that the North were the good guys. But a large percentage of Northerners were really racist, too, and perfectly happy to have Blacks freed, but did not want them to have any political power, so they decided that it was more expedient to make common cause with the former Confederates than with the freed men and women.

DER SPIEGEL: Isn't the way of looking at U.S. history changing rapidly?

Trump: The right is doing everything to make sure that Americans continue to stay ignorant about their own history. Imagine if post-World War II Germany hadn't taken the steps that it has taken.

DER SPIEGEL: Not all Germans back then were too excited about that, either.

Trump: That's a good point. It requires the political will. We let people off the hook for flying the Confederate flag because they claim it's just about their Southern history. But they know what it means. It means that they are completely on board with white people owning black people.

DER SPIEGEL: Is the U.S. still a racist country?

Trump: If you're a white adult American, it's almost impossible not to be racist because of the media environment we grow up in, our families or our friends' families, the influences of our education. But when you become an adult, you need to take responsibility for that stuff. If we don't acknowledge it, then it's never going to change. But it's very hard to acknowledge that.

DER SPIEGEL: How much do you blame your uncle for that?

Trump: I blame him for the fact that it's becoming more and more acceptable to be openly racist. What Donald did was prove that racism is a successful platform when you run for office in this country. People like him are out there very openly being racist and white supremacist, and they're getting tens of millions of people to vote for them because either they agree with them or they don't have a problem with it because lower taxes are more important. We're in a really dangerous place.

"The Republicans are an autocratic, anti-democratic, counter-majoritarian party that would be perfectly happy to establish some kind of apartheid in this country."

DER SPIEGEL: Do you also blame him for the disastrous COVID-19 situation here last year?

Trump: That's been one of the worst things for me to deal with. Knowing that your uncle is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people is not a good feeling. That many died in exactly the same circumstances my father did, alone, because my uncle, who could have gone to the hospital to be with my dad, rather went to the movies. So, that's been really, really hard. Because of his incompetence and his cruelty we're still struggling with this. Because of his encouragement of the unvaccinated and his failure to model decent behavior, which he is incapable of doing. It's just a kick in the teeth.

DER SPIEGEL: Wasn't he one of the first to get vaccinated?

Trump: Secretly! Everybody in the family got vaccinated. They're all vaccinated. Imagine how people are going to react when they find out that they've all been betrayed and the people they put their faith in lied to them for political expediency.

DER SPIEGEL: Psychologically, how do you get people to admit they've lived a lie for so long?

Trump: It's hard. I don't hold out hope for most of these people. I really don't.

DER SPIEGEL: That sounds rather pessimistic.

Trump: I am bizarrely a quite optimistic person. Maybe that took a hit over the last couple of years. But I am pretty much an optimist. I haven't given up hope.

DER SPIEGEL: Yet the next Trump generation seems ready. Do you expect your cousin, Donald Jr., or your cousin Ivanka, to run for political office?

Trump: No.

DER SPIEGEL: Why not?

Trump: My uncle is such a buffoon, but he does have charisma. If you met him, for the first 10 seconds you would see it. After that, you would realize that he's a total psychopath, but a lot of people are very susceptible to his kind of charisma. Donald Jr. and Ivanka don't have any of that. They don't survive politically without him. They don't survive in business without him. No, I don't see that. Hopefully, they'll all end up in jail.

DER SPIEGEL: What's next for you?

Trump: My next book will not be about my uncle. I'm taking a break. Never write a book about trauma while you're still being actively traumatized.

DER SPIEGEL: Ms. Trump, we thank you for this interview.

— Mary Trump's latest book, "The Reckoning: Our Nation's Trauma and Finding a Way To Heal," was published in August by St. Martin's Press. The book has also been published in German translation by Heyne Verlag.

— Mary Trump, 56, holds a doctorate in psychology and has known the former president since childhood. Her father Fred Trump, Jr., Donald Trump's older brother, died in 1981. Her first book, "Too Much and Never Enough," about her uncle became a bestseller in the United States in 2020.

[a-kabby-k-fanfictions]

                                            Unspoken words

AO3

Chapter summary : (Missing scenes, collection 2/?)

Pre-season 1 missing scene about the delinquents' ejection.

A heavy silence fell upon the council meeting room. Marcus remained stoned-face but he felt a lump formed in his throat. He didn’t expect this when Councillor Kaplan had announced that he might have found a solution to the system failure. Discretely, he looked up and his gaze met Abby’s. She was deathly pale and her eyes were shining with panic. He didn’t have to ponder to know what she was thinking right now, or rather about who she was thinking. In a way, he felt bad about it. Of course, he had just enforced the law, it was his duty but still, the human part of him couldn’t help but feel responsible. After all, Jaha hadn’t asked for Clarke’s imprisonment. The Chancellor knew he didn’t need to and it suited him. After all, Marcus Kane was always there to do the dirty work, let him be the bad guy, let Abby hate him.

Like always, the council remained quiet, waiting for him or Abby to involve first.

"The earth won’t be survivable before a hundred years at least," Marcus said and the way councilor Kaplan frowned, made him think that he didn’t expect an objection coming from him.

A brief look toward Abby let him know that she didn’t either. She was now looking at him with a suspicious look, like if she was waiting for an even worst proposal from him than sending a hundred kids to their death. If he could handle the verbal taunts and the recriminations, Marcus still had trouble putting up with her deep distrust. It was like if she was constantly expecting him to hurt her, to destroy her life even more than he already had.

"Every measurement tools have been destroyed by the bombs. We know nothing about the earth, it be could an opportunity to evaluate the level of radiation," councilor Kaplan argued, throwing a tentative look toward Jaha who seemed to be in the middle of serious reflection.

"By sacrificing a hundred children?", councilor Muir took part in the debate, outraged.

"If we do nothing we’re all condemned anyway," councilor Kaplan reminded her sharply.

Marcus looked up at Abby, expecting her to overplay issues of innocent children but she remained quiet, staring at nothing.

"That’s not the main issue," he curtailed the sterile debate.

There was no more time for ethic and morality anyway. In all cases, some people will have to die to save the many. The only question was now to know how, when and who, nothing else.

"What do you mean?" Jaha inquired with a frown.

"A mission to the earth would require food, water, power supply and most of all oxygen. We can’t afford to lose any of it for a suicide mission," Marcus explained gravely.

Jaha seemed to consider his argument for a few seconds.

"Kane’s not wrong," he finally conceded, nodding.

"Will all due respect, Sir, councilor Kane’s solution is exactly the same except that it would offer us a short-term solution, not a potential chance of survival," councilor Kaplan pointed out.

"The earth isn’t survivable, every calculation we’ve done are categorical," Kane retorted with annoyance, clenching his jaw to not lose his temper.

"Yes, they are but they’re also only based on hypothesis not on fact. We don’t know how nature could adapt. Nagasaki and Hiroshima had been rebuilt after the war, people lived there again," councilor Kaplan told him defiantly.

Marcus couldn’t help but huff a laugh.

"Most of them fell sick and the bombs which destroyed the world weren’t the same, the level of radiation was much higher," he reminded him with a sardonic smile at the corner of his lips.

Councilor Kaplan was about to speak again but Jaha cut him off by a wave of the hand.

"Abby?" the Chancellor called for her.

The latter seemed to awake from her dormant state and shook her head.

"Don’t ask me to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea," she said coldly without batting an eye.

"I was asking for your medical expertise," Jaha clarified and for a second she seemed slightly unsettle.

"Okay," she breathed out, nodding and lowering her gaze for a second. "Then, as Kane said, the level of radiation was much higher--" she started to present her view but she was rudely cut off.

"She can’t be objective knowing her daughter would be among the delinquents," councilor Kaplan exclaimed angrily.

Marcus felt his heart skip a beat. That was low and disrespectful. He opened his mouth, ready to put him in his place but Abby got there first.

"Nonetheless," Abby kept talking, emphasizing the word "We’re indeed blind about nuclear consequences, it might be a chance of survival even after only ninety-seven years," she conceded, looking at Jaha.

"That’s absolute nonsense," Marcus raised up, scandalized by as much as wishful thinking.

Marcus knew that Abby was professional and impartial. He had never doubt of that and it was partly why he had considered councilor Kaplan’s words as insulting. He knew that she wouldn’t have rejected this plan just because Clarke could be involved but he didn’t expect her to believe that the earth could be survivable again. It was madness or stupidity nothing else.

"The kids will die the second they land," he added, staring at Abby.

"Do you care?" she snorted. "We all know that the prison station would be the one to be sacrificed if the council votes for your culling plan anyway," she spat and from the corner of his eyes he saw councilor Kaplan’s crooked grin.

"That’s not the subject," he retorted coldly.

"Tell me I’m wrong," she challenged him impudently.

"Stop, both of you," Jaha interrupted them, clearly annoyed.

Marcus let out an exasperated sigh and looked away from Abby’s glance.

"We all need some time to consider councilor Kaplan’s plan. We also need to evaluate the cost of a launch to the earth. I think it would be wiser to leave it there for today," the Chancellor said solemnly.

Everybody agreed, excepted Marcus who rolled his eyes.

"Meeting adjourned. See you in five days," Jaha declared, getting up from his chair.

  ***

Three days had passed since the last meeting and according to Thelonius, the majority of the council thought that Kaplan’s proposal was a better plan than Kane’s. Abby knew perfectly well that it was risky. She knew that the possibility that the earth was survivable again was highly unlikely but still, it would give a chance to the children. With a culling, there would be none and she was sure that the prison station would be sacrificed. No matter how Kane was avoiding the subject, she knew it.

Suddenly, she heard someone knocking at the door. It was late, probably almost eleven at night and she was craving for sleep. Abby rubbed her face vigorously, thinking it may be a medical urgency. Instinctively she grabbed her medical kit and went to open the door.

She frowned as soon as she recognized the cold face in front of her. For a second she wondered if he was there to arrest her but she noticed that he wasn’t wearing his uniform jacket. Instead, he was wearing a holed dark sweater and his hair was unusually messy.

"What do you want?" she asked him dryly, taking care to keep to door half-closed.

Kane let out a short sigh and she immediately detected a note of moonshine in his breath.

"May I come in?" he asked for in a low voice after having to take a look over his shoulder.

Abby stared at him suspiciously and hesitated. She was in no mood to hear him talk about scarifying hundred of their own people and to be true, since Jake’s death, she was in no mood to listen to him at all.

"If this is about the last council meeting then--" she started to say but he shook his head, cutting her off.

"It’s not," he assured her quickly.

Abby remained still, wavering for a few seconds but she finally shifted slightly to let him come in. Kane took a few step inside and stopped to pull something out of his pocket.

"What is it?" she inquired as he handed her a piece of paper.

"Permission to visit," he said, looking down like if he was almost ashamed.

Abby blinked several times, stunned.

"But...Clarke’s in solitary, I’m not allowed to--," she started to remind him as she unfolded the piece of paper with shaking hands.

"Except if you have a special authorization," he told her with a small shy smile at the corner of his lips.

She hadn’t seen her child for almost six months. No visitors were accepted in the solitary quarter and even Thelonius hadn’t consented to give her an authorization.

"Is she sick?" she asked him with worry, her fingers clenching around the paper in her hand.

"No. No, she’s fine," Kane assured her and from the corner of his eyes, she saw him raise his hand toward her.

She wondered if he was about to give her a reassuring touch but at the last moment, he seemed to reconsider and put his arm behind his back instead.

"Then...Why?" she asked him, shaking her head in disbelief.

She saw his jaw clench briefly as he stared at her for a second. He was ill-at-ease, she realized, as he seemed to avoid her gaze.

"Just-- Don’t tell her about Kaplan’s proposal," he finally told her with shifty eyes.

"I won’t," she promised fervently.

"I would appreciate if you keep it quiet," he added, still staring at nothing.

Abby raised an eyebrow, thinking about his sudden momentum of altruism. It didn’t look like him and she couldn’t help but wonder if this was a trap or a bribe for her vote. However, that was not him either. Kane fought for what he believed in, he didn’t deceive. Anyway, if she had the chance to spend some time with her daughter, she intended to take it no matter what.

"Of course," she agreed.

Kane nodded briefly and turned around without a word. She watched him walk away, biting her lips. It was maybe his way to apologize, to make the first take towards peace. It was a lost cause because she wasn’t willing to forgive him and it would probably never happen but still...

"Kane," she called for him as he was walking through the door.

Kane stopped and turned slightly his face to look at her over his shoulder.

She couldn’t say thank you out loud, not after everything that happened but even if she didn’t know why he was doing that, a part of herself was deeply grateful. She stared at him intensely, knowing that he would know, that he would understand.

Kane looked at her in the same way for a few seconds and nodded before walking away.

He knew, he understood, so did she...

#Kabby #kabby fic #kabby fanfic #kabby fanfiction #abby griffin #marcus kane #oneshot

[nymphalidaemonarque]

dear mother,

even though doing that is due more than several years, this is the first time i feel deep hatred from the bottom of my heart for you. it never came to the surface until a few months ago, and now it’s coming with an overwhelmingly big force. i said to myself, that i will go into my grave without ever talking to you again. you are dead to me.

there’s nothing you could give me, no amount of presents or fake caring words, that could undo all the pain and misery you brought over my family. that could undo the scars my dad carries from your terrible psycho terror he had to endure for decades. that could give my brother and my dad the time back they spend in mental hospital $uicidal because of you. that could remove the damage you did to my self love by insulting me as worthless and a fat pig, by telling me no man will ever love me. that could undo the trauma my brother and i carry from you hitting us every damn day and shouting at us for nothing and everything. that could take back the hypersensitivity i developed from having to estimate whether you’re aggressive again because you drank too much every day, from estimating whether we will be called worthless annoying, and the biggest burden you ever had, and get hit again. that could give me sense of basic trust every child should have, but we didn’t, because you wanted to give us away to some shabby childrens home, because you felt overwhelmed even though you had more than enough money and resources than most mothers. that could remove my mistrust in every damn civil servant, who didn’t care enough to try to see through your endless lies and fake tears, and let you do whatever you wanted to my dad and us.

you are a selfish sociopath and i am glad that i won’t ever have to talk to you again or be dependent on you again. you are in misery, because you know your life is piece of shit. because you know you won’t ever find what you’re looking for, even by spending thousands of euros for clothes and stupid stuff every month. i know you will never cry for anybody else than yourself, because you only ever cared about you and used us children only to portray yourself as the strong single mom whose childrens father doesn’t care for their children, even though my dad would have died on the spot just to finally put us into a safe place. who struggles with finances, even though you inherited a big house and cash worth more than 1 million. who cares so much about her children, while she couldn’t give less of a damn about them, but only about the attention she gets from everybody.

i will not make the mistakes you did. i will not drink everyday. i will not hit my children everyday. i will not insult them everyday. i will not terrorize my family until their mental health is destroyed. i will not let my own frustration out on innocent little children. i will not feed my daughter unhealthy crap until she gets fat just to insult her for being a big fat pig everyday. i will not just watch how she gets bullied every fuckin day in school and do absolutely nothing about it. i will not push my son to the point he lives on survival mode everyday. i won’t do a single thing like you did, not one. because every single thing you did was just wrong. and most of all - i will not deny everything when confronted with it like you did. i won’t give my children the fault for mistakes i did myself. i will not victimize myself when i am the culprit and cry out of self pity.

i would love to put a part now where i wish you the best anyways but i honestly don’t. i gave you one last chance by opening up to you about my mental health a few months ago when you proved, once again, that you don’t give a single fck. you ONLY EVER CARED ABOUT YOURSELF SO DONT ACT LIKE SOME KIND OF SUPERHERO MOM WHEN YOURE A THE MOST EGOCENTIRCAL DEVIL I EVER MET. i hope someday you realize what you did, and what a monster you are. and then, i will be long over you.

I hate you from the bottom of my heart.

goodbye

PS: all you other people who think bithgivers are infallible, who told me to not talk to my mother like that all that time, who told me she did her best. no she didn’t. i wish you could live just one day with that psycho just to see how it is. just to see whether you still say i should stop taking to her like that. theres not one person i am interested in having in my life again who just dismissed it like that. i had to experience people like that way too often, even though i rarely shared it. that just proves how people are conditioned to think how mothers are perfect angels even though they can be literal devils like mine. please stay away from me if you think like that and fck you as well.

#i #02.04.2022