#and every other second i dont exist

[of-mice-and-maydayparade]

Don't even know why I bother trying to have friends irl, they all just leave in the end

#always alone #they care for like .2 seconds #only while its convenient #and every other second i dont exist #even when im not okay and i reach out #nothing #am going to be forever friendless 🙃 #yay #kate

[kagoutiss]

rly rough sketchies…..ft impa

#oot #ocarina of time #impa #ganondorf #sheik #undercover sheik au #tagging au bc why not. #i need. impa ganondorf enemies content injected into my veins. Now #theyre both waiting to meet with the king or something. unfortunately at the same time #i literally dont even think theyd look at each other like it’s just static where the other should be when they’re in the same room #like impa to ganondorf is the personification of every greatest horror he’s ever known #and ganondorf to impa is the personification of everything she is divinely dispatched to prevent #like both of you are the perfect representations of each other’s failures to protect the single most important things you exist to protect #etc. #and in the second pic impa and sheik are relaxing with tea

[snixx]

got queerbaited into reading a book by chatgpt. is this rock bottom

#girlblogging.pdf #apparently coding isn't the only thing that thing is ass at. fetching basic information is too #i mean i Wanted to read it anyway and i knew it wasnt queer before. idk why i let chatgpt gaslight me into believing i was making it up #whatever. neither the main character nor her best friend are textually queer or in love with each other. they're both pretty boy crazy tbh #but the mc is giving big aro vibes. like she's so done with her best friend every time she starts talking about men or crushes #also her crush on this guy is giving extremely platonic im not biased i swear #she just throws herself at him because she thinks itd be cool to date her besties crushs bff #so she could feel normal like her #they do have a cute friendship though. mc and the guy. also they start dating like 2 seconds after her bff dies so it's not really romantic #also theres a very cool lesbian who gets more pagetime than the guy and whos friendship with mc is super angsty so #w #its a really good book ok i just went in with really wrong expectations #like a sapphic hiaylm #but every day i grow closer to the great truth of my life that sapphic hiaylm will never exist #and i should stop looking for it and find the beauty in things for their originality and what they are #anyway in this case the lack of sapphicness did not detract from the book at all dont get me wrong #i just found it funny

[slutdge]

day 3647388377437 of only existing to be a punching bag, somehow still alive

#yeah incoming breakdown pls fuck off i just remembered how meaningless my life is #outside of being used #my famtasy lately is journeying deep into the everglades and dying there and never being found. that seems like id finally feel peace. #ill be alone forever and im ok with that #as long as thats where i am #cause i cant fucking take waking up every day of my life and my only purpose being supporting everyone elses weight #what kind of a fucking life is that youd wanna die too if that was your life. if that was all you had to look forward to. #its camp anyways lolllll and all that other stupid shit i say to dimish how badly im suffering #at least if i go die out there i can benefit the earth #the conclusion: yes i am so embarrassed dont worry i am humiliated in ways you couldn't even imagine #im embarassed every second of my life for being like this #i know yall are tired of me complaining believe me so i am i and i feel guilty for just existing 24/7 #cant wait to finally be appreciated when alligators rip into my dead body

[psalmsofpsychosis]

lmao

#throwback to that time when i had a close friend on here that was so much like me in every aspect imaginable but 10 years younger #and i ended up having to unfollow her even though i dearly loved her and she unfollowed me too #she was insanely suicidal which. well. yeah #and i dont think she could actually see herself becoming someone like me 10 years down the line and it gave her a lot of grief #to exist in my vicinity #and we both knew we were pretty much identical even in the very specific way we both felt so lonely in our experiences #and in how antagonistic towards and alienated from common human interactions we were #and i think that the only difference between us was that at 20 i couldn't imagine in a million years to end up where i am right now #but i could absolutely imagine changing drastically. changing is second nature to me i'm a whole entire new bucket of feral farts everyday #so whatever happened i knew for a fact that i'd change. a lot. #and she couldn't imagine herself changing at all. so. #i do miss her immensely; she had incredible taste in music. #but i couldn't handle her suicidal nature. sometimes you make so much progress that you just can't look back #even though you have a world of sympathy for the other person

[legendary-assassin-stance]

oh i'm sorry, i didn't realize we were taking moral standing points from the asura now. y'know. the race that full-hog experimented and ripped apart sylvari even after knowing they were wholly sapient beings (and it wasn't even inquest! it was regular fucking asura! the arcane council most definitely okayed those experiments! never mind the fact that the council TO THIS DAY fucking openly allows inquest to do as they please so long as they don't cause trouble in rata sum) and have done little to nothing to apologize for that fact to their sylvari allies.

but no, you're right, the humans are the worst race in tyria just by way of existing and trying to find a place for themselves. how could i have ever thought different?

#from beyond the grave #hi i'm going to go fucking feral #I'M NOT EVEN A HUGE HUMAN FAN. i have them and i love the ones i do have! but i greatly prefer sylvari as my playable race. #what the FUCK are you talking about #“did everything they can to push other people off their land” are you talking about pushing charr out???? cus uh. #i don't know how to tell you this but the charr STOLE THAT LAND IN THE FIRST PLACE EVEN BEFORE HUMANS #dont even get me started on their HoT take (the One Expansion that anet gave sylvari before forgetting they exist) #and the icebrood one (the charr should have never been the fucking main focus of the goddamn NORN PLOT ANYWAYS) #the “human interference” in icebrood was literally a fucking BLIP amongst the bullshit of the charr getting involved #don't even fucking talk to me about “humans being lynchpins” for icebrood. it should have had NOTHING but NORN LORE. #it was the NORN PLOT. jormag had always been NORN STORY AND PLOT. #“buhbuhbuh humans” I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. THE CHARR SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE EITHER #it's extremely telling that you don't care that the charr shouldn't have been there either #and only focused on the .0000000000003 seconds that kas helped in anything related to the plot #while also framing crecia and rytlock's relationship problems throughout as “human-looking” squabbling #god forbid rytlock get some character development where he WANTS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for his kid #(even tho it should've happened in a charr-centric story thread and NOT THE FUCKING NORN ONE ANET) #and every charr in the world is like “but why do you care??” because charr society is so incredibly FUCKED re: their kids #“being attentive to the story” my fucking ass. just say you fucking hate humans as a race and move the fuck on. #i didn't mean to rant this much in the tags but the more i stared at the post the more i felt like biting someone #OH. OH SORRY. i just noticed that #the person was like “lol inquest figured out how to harness elder dragon energy before xunlai <3” #JUHGTFJHKDFJHGLKFD ?????? #okay for one the inquest are a bunch of literal rat bastards who caused a NUCLEAR REACTOR EXPLOSION in metrica #i'm not going to trust a fucking inquest ANYWHERE NEAR ME let alone praise them for “ethical” dragon energy #the “uhm ACKSUALLY S W E A T Y” tone of voice re: canthan tech vs. asuran is asinine and also annoying as fuck #“all of PoF was about humans :(” IT IS LITERALLY. ABOUT A HUMAN GOD? IT IS *THE* HUMAN XPAC. #IT WAS NOT A SURPRISE FOR IT TO BE HUMAN THEMED? WE KNOW ELONA IS H U M A N S ? #yet again. what the FUCK are you even talking about. #OKAY. jesus christ. i think i'm finally done bitching about this.

[lesenbyan]

There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point

#personal; #yeah fatphobia is bad but dont you dare act like people aren't asking disabled people to medically alter themselves every day??? #you compare bariatric and gender affirming surgeries in such a way that makes the latter sound easy to get?? #and in fact don't at ALL go into the struggles for transition care except for a nod at FL while comparing us (trans people) #to fat people like our lives are Much Easier instead of /oppressed by the same white colonial structures that enforce fatphobia/ #but go off i guess #i was giving a lot of leeway when i was just side eyeing the comparisons with racism bc i'm not fat and i've not experienced enough racism #to say either way on those #but the MOMENT she started using trans and disabled comparisons i about lost it #and also randomly started calling it antisemitic (sure as much as it's violnt to all poc) in the last chapter with nothing supporting it #like you can tell it was written over the course of the last like 2 maybe 3 years without enough space to breathe #i have listened to a book on writing memoir so often i've got some of it all but memorized #and i agree that if it's more recent than a decade you're probably too close to be writing it #and this author's writing mostly about during pandemic times. this is more a journal and call to action than memoir #but its not polished enough to be a proper call to action bc there's not much it gives you to do other than 'stop dieting & dare to be fat' #which isn't an effective call to action when only those most harmed by fatphobia can act on it you know??? #lots of complaints #3/10 #edit: reiterting that i'm not saying it' #*it's not anti-semitic; just that a good published work of this kind doesn't make last second claims and certainly not ones #they haven't already explicitly supported in the text #i feel the need to clarify with the very very vocal rise of anti semitism esp in the left #like yes there are anti-Semitic ties. she didn't name them. just said 'they exist lol' and this went to print #great study in poor research slipping onto shelves bc topic matter is relevant

[ur-humble-overlord]

dear google what is the most professional way to request time off for intrusive ideations of not wanting to work anymore

#really dont want to EXIST anymore but yknow apparently that has more consequences #i keep being told that the way i feel isnt permanent and boy howdy do people just mean its possible for it to feel worse ! #which is impressive. #i have worked to try and prove myself at this company hand over fist and it doesn't. matter. im still stuck. #and it doesn't! matter! no one cares #no one cares that i have burnt myself out trying to show them im worth their time. #and i cant just leave because i have bills and there's no comparable jobs #i thought it would be somewhere that would see me and my value and it has been the opposite of my experience multiple times over. #i feel kicked and spit on and everyone thinks i should be good with a “thank you though!” like are you kidding me? #you gave a 10k promotion to the other person which could change my life but you want me to be content with being a close second? #im doing twice the projects they're doing but im a close second ????? wgauqgwuavwhwvajwvwjwbjagwuahs #i just. i want to scream and i want to break things and i want to stop thinking about it when im off work and i cant!! i cant!!! #i have to wake up every morning and keep going and pretending like i can handle this #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[weirdlizard26]

i guess the thing abt the diagnosis for me is that. nothing has ever been severe for me. its just kinda. annoying and vaguely concerning. people with the real disorder are out there suffering and im just. mildly bothered. but im still diagnosed nonetheless? sounds fake

#wl26 #and its not just abt ocd. well it kinda is bc thats the only diagnosis ive got #but like with all the other suspected disorders too #like the other day i told mom that i brought up with the therapist that i struggle with studying and preparing for classes #and then a few days later she was napping while i studied #and she said hey maybe its not a disorder problem. maybe its just because ur always getting distracted to text somebody #and i didnt wanna admit it to her so i took evasive action but like fuck! maybe so! #n she said maybe if you just closed all ur apps for an hour and focused on studying maybe then u would get it right #n im like fuck! maybe ! #but i dont want to is the thing KFJDNGDFGD #guy who is so painfully lonely every second of his existence. tbh #i dont want to have to NOT talk to my friends. i dont want to #so its like. do i actually have adhd or am i just a stubborn childish loser who deliberately refuses to put effort into ANYTHING #bleh

[constantvariations]

Thinking about how the official White Fang uniform is red, white, and black, but Yang is the one to help Blake end racism 🙃🙃🙃

#rwde #first i wanna know who actually makes these clothes. are they tailored for every fang or mass produced? #where are yall getting the resources? why do yall even need a uniform? wouldn't a logo bandana or smth suffice? #id love a pair of white fang socks ngl #but anyway gr8 to see that the color show is following up on its color symbolisms and foreshadowings #love that yang literally never gives a shit abt the plight of the faunus even when shes iN lOvE w one #and that she only knows adams name from a news reel but acts like she knows all his dirty laundry the one time they actually talk #and she doesnt even say smth like 'fuck you for taking my arm what the shit was that abt??' #like id personally like to know why some random jackass decided that i should lose 10 lbs in 10 seconds but whatever #you do you Yang #but straight up i dont think ruby even knows abt adams existence #blake mentions him by name at mt glenn but ruby was on watch and not part of the conversation #only yang saw the news abt adam being at beacon #and only blake sun and yang ever fight the guy #RUBY CANONICALLY DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT ADAM TAURUS #man it sure would be a bummer if in an au adam and ruby had met in mistral and hit it off and ruby accidentally helped deradicalize adam #and neither of them know exactly how closely entwined their mutual people are so when the others find out all hell breaks loose #god i wish i could work on ohar but my trilogy has already expanded into 5 installments #plus the essay im currently dying over #guys i need an intervention send help lol

[arcaneprism]

It took me reading many many JATP fics where Reggie has some kind of chronic pain condition to realise that some of my various aches and pains are not just a normal thing and I dont know how I feel about this

#julie and the phantoms #like I already know about the back pain #and the joint pains make sense bc hypermobility #but I thought chest aches every other day when Im feeling things is just normal cause big sadness can have physical symptoms #and now im realising the chest pains from lying down wrong is probably also a pain thing #siley had to see me spiral into this realisation im sorry shdbdbddb #i dont know how i feel about the fact that if reggie fics where he has various conditions didnt exist Id never have realised this #also the aches from feeling things isnt even like… big feelings #i literally just think about jatp or my favourite characters or how jatp has been cancelled and my chest aches and i have to lie down #and wallow till it goes away #netflix im getting physical pains from the cancellation of jatp i demand a second season as compensation

[lord-squiggletits]

Absolutely zero offence to jariktig, I'm just using their outsider perspective as an example to jump off of, but I feel like the fanon idea that "Autobots get praised for the same things Decepticons get villified for" is SO FUCKING WEIRD because I don't understand how you could possibly think this unless you either haven't read phase 2 of IDW1 or just??? Didn't fucking pay attention to the story whatsoever?????

#squiggposting #genuinely i dont even know where to start #first of all some characters getting in universe punishment or hetting off scot free #doesnt mean that the authors condone or approve of what they did #second of all #(deep breath) #HAVE YOU AND I READ THE SAME FUCKING COMICS???? #IN WHAT WORLD IS IDW OPTIMUS VALORIZED BY THE NARRATIVE #IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD WERE THE AUTOBOTS AS BAD AS THE DECEPTICONS #yes there were things like MTOs on both sides and also prowl exists but like #one side was fine with colonizing occupied planets and the other side was not #also there are multiple stories like the wreckers which show morally gray autobots #the autocracy trilogy where the autobots are widely criticized and distrusted and seen as failures #EVERY FUCKING THING BARBER WROTE ABOUT OPTIMUS #IN WHAT WORLD DO PEOPLE THINK THE IDW AUTOBOTS WERE PORTRAYED AS UNIVERSAL HEROES #OR THAT THE AUTHORS WERE TRYING TO PORTRAY THEM AS UNIVERSAL HEROES #IN. WHAT. FUCKING. WORLD??.??? #s2g i hate sharing this fandom where people who can't read dictate fanon #and then people who don't read spread that fanon #half the shit self identified fans of idw1 believe in literally isnt true #idw op being valorized in universe (by a specific group of people only) doesnt mean that the narrative #is valorizing him and saying he's a flawless hero #jfc #like i understand if people think like that just by listening to fandom #but people who read the comics have no excuse

[bmpmp3]

speaking of furries have u seen what they’ve been doing in the medium of visual novels recently? magnificent work

#i mean dont get me wrong furries have been integral to visual novels forever from what i can tell #i cant read any of them but ive seen enough untranslated bara furry vns from like 20 years ago to get an idea #salutes #but recently its like every other day i find out about some extremely well rated high production value 20-50 hour long furry vn #that i swear didnt exist the other day. its great. love ur work #i havent gotten a chance to read much of any of them except making a couple minutes of a few but even just the little ive read has been good #was i good enough to dare grace myself with the fine name of furry i would absolutely become like #the giorgio vasari of furries in an art historical documentation sense. 2 seconds away from writing Lives of the Most Eminent Furry Painters #Furry Sculptors and Furry Architects. but alas i feel like someone whos the worlds first wannabe furry shouldnt take that honor #am i making sense? i think furries are an art movement of monumental importance and worth is what im saying #im an art history major u have to believe me

[goldiipond]

so fucking brave having a major cc that is literally the most underrated character in a series with a dying fandom. imgoing to explode from how much i love don tpn

#skye's ramblings #DON DOES NOT HAVE NEARLY ENOUGH CONTENT FOR THE AMOUNT OF IMPORTANCE HE HAS IN THE STORY. IS THIS THING ON. CAN ANYUONE HEAR ME #ive felt like utter SHIT all day and ive been thinking abt him to cope hes so everything #scouring t/pn blogs that have been dead for years like seen that. seen that. you dont get him like i do. seen that. i hate that ship. seen t #some of this art i really need to rb though i just need to think of stuff to say. i try to leave nice tags on all art i rb #i could make more don art since i have so much trouble finding it but. aforementioned feeling of shit </3 #anyway other thing abt don i saw an image of a culte little plushie of him the other day and yelled. i didnt think don merch existed #i need to find it i dont know WHERE to look i cant buy it right now but it would be nice to know where it is when i can .. #such a cute plushie i must have him with me every second of the day. he was way smaller than my ray one so i actually probably coulf #anyway whatever im holding him up lets talk about him. ithink he is a silly little guy. whatever

[chisatowo]

Begging ensekai to hire a new graphic designer holy shit is the current event title so ugly

#rat rambles #sekai posting #just opened it for the first time basically since it came out and jesus christ the font used for all the other text looks so ugly too #like every screen looks like it was edited in google slides like how do people tolerate it #also comparing other event title graphics in ensekai to jpsekai was a soul crushing experience like what the actual fuck #they. they changed the names of titles. that were. were already in full english in jpsekai #this isnt like run-ing down the halway in bndori where it was a pun that didnt translate its just fucking english #I genuinely dont understand with most of them is color of myself rly that confusing in their eyes fucking my color fuck you #this is part of the reason I hate ensekai btw <3 fucking incompitent bastards #honestly the second I read some of shiho's dialogue when it first came out I lost all hope that ensekai would be a good localisation lol #Im also very much. not a fan on how they handled mizuki. #ok ok I got all that anger out now time to go back to pretending ensekai doesnt exist

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I was going to go to sleep early tonight but then I had to Google my most painful ex and listen to the entirety of Five Seconds Flat by Lizzy McAlpine. I may have to listen to it again, so it's going to be a busy night.

#okay but every time i google her i find something new #the last time i found out that she has some poetry published in a book #tosay i found some more of her poetry. she's so talented. such a good writer #shes written a poem about me. its not published. it just exists for us #other interesting findings have been: she got a position in a prestigious internship. she has a student spotlight video for her college #she has a critical roll t-shirt that says 'dont forget to love each other' and i nearly ordered it tonight #anyway. cried over her again tonight and then had to listen to five seconds flat #actually i lied. five seconds flst was before the googling #because i have a crush on someone and it made me think of 'hate to be lame' (a song from the album) and i had to listen to it #which made me want to listen to the whole album. of course #i forgot how good her music is #doomsday? orange show speedway? what a shame? erase me? hate to be lame? all iconic #anyway its 5am and im still listening to her album. and could probably find more if i keep googling. so maybe ill do that #or get so sad and impulsive that i text the girl i have a crush on. yeah thats an option too #im much too busy to sleep. clearly