#also maybe im desensitized to fictional Bad Things Happening | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

johannwolfgangvongoethe · 1 year

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reading yaoi for the plot

recently i seemingly entirely stopped my life for a week to read the visual novel Slow Damage.

i dont really play vn’s (reading in front of my pc is HARD) nor do i read that much boys love (i am a bit of a gayboy by nature, so im not opposed to it) so what drove me to absolutely devour this one.....i honestly dont know. i would never have bought it for myself but my bestie gave it to me. so here we are.

slow damage is a game that you Could play. maybe should and maybe shouldnt. its sad and since it deals with self harm, suicidal thoughts, violence, sexual violence and rape, child abuse and just about every other bad thing you can imagine.......... man that shit can be depressing as hell. and since its a eroge, they are out there sexualizing shit they really SHOULDNT.

AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!! all those “fiction doesnt affect reality” talk some people do is bs in my opinion. yes, you probably wouldnt hurt people irl bc youre reading this rape scene. but YES, bad porn will still condition your brain negatively in the long run.

anyhow. slow damage is pretty damn self-aware. dont get me wrong man, i love the game so much. and yet, and yet.

its so deeply important to me how the game really pictures.... unconditional love between friends and multiple different endgames that finish the story Well for the protag. he can attain salvation and peace. whether it means never touching the wounds of his past or confronting it headfirst. either way he can go through the worst of the worst and end up better. or worse. its all so fickle but thats the good part right. mental health is very sensitive and as a chronically sick person, he is so so vulnerable. (not madarame. fuck everything to do with him. i think theres a storytelling and character study merit to his ends as well but this paragraph wasnt about them)

ive been thinking about talking about it but theres probably people who have. better more informed takes than i do. here are my 2 cents anyway

id love to talk about the ludonarrative dissonance that is a yaoi game with rape scenes taking a stance against rape

im also really intrigued by the setting; a very desensitized city with desensitized people, which we are supposed to see as sad, yet a lot of scenes are there for shock value

CAN WE TALK ABOUT GENDER. WHY IS SLOW DAMAGE SO FILLED WITH GENDER. ITS EVEN GOOD WITH GENDER. I LOVE THE AMOUNT OF GENDER IDENTITY TALK!!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE CIS PEOPLE TALK ABOUT GENDER. WE LOVE NORMALIZED DYSPHORIA TALK. BUT ALSO I LOVE HOW SENSITIVE THE TRANSLATION WAS ABOUT ITS TRANSFEM/GNC CHARACTERS

the fact that the game has an Entire big arc about gaslighting and an abusive relationship, that makes the protag really really internalize selfhate and doubt and makes that mindset smth that he wears like a protective “its just us two against the world” shield. its so sad yet so close to life

the protag, though horribly abused and traumatized, has the advantage of having a very functional very very loving support system in the form of his two best friends, one of which happens to be a doctor. can you imagine how much worse this could be. im constantly aware of it

thinking a lot about how much class plays a role in the last route and towa and fujieda only start to get along once their perceived differences are lifted, in fact them being “the same” is of fundamental importance - but also undermines how unbridgable their differences would have been otherwise

deeply in love with the fact fujieda, as someone who studied law and has been dealing with courts professionally, is this huge vigilante. bc he doesnt trust justice to happen unless he does it himself. and towa is important to him, but ultimately his own goals are just a bit more important than towas comfort. i love when characters have spines <3

on a related note, i also love when characters dont have spines. taku is literally my fav. the fact hes a human sanctuary contrasts so beautifully with him withholding vital info, constantly telling white lies, being conflicted about Everything, but eventually going to jail bc he thinks he Deserves it

how and why is eiji a metal gear solid character stuck in a pokemon characters body

#slodaposting

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lucacangettathisass-a · 6 years

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another anti rant sorry guys

here’s some stuff i dont get about antis.

they have this thing where they attack u over ur ships unless ur a victim of abuse, but how can they prove that? the net is full of liars, we know that, so how can they prove that the people theyre harassing are actual victims?

there’s two ways it can go:

1. someone who ships smthn that is considered Impure (which is another topic i’ll cover in a bit) is attacked and called an abuser/abuse apologist etc. and is told that unless theyre a survivor they cannot like the thing (which is.....yeah.) which results in this person, who in this scenario is a victim, opening up about their trauma, which is smthn they shouldnt be forced to do. NO ONE has any right to badger u about ur trauma UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. NONE. IF THE ONLY THING STOPPING U FROM HARASSING SOMEONE IS FOR THEM TO REVEAL THEIR A SURVIVOR/VICTIM (depending on how they identify) OF A FORM OF ABUSE THEN GUESS WHAT? UR A SHITTY PERSON. and how can they verify that? they cant. all they can do is interrogate the person about their trauma which is so fucking wrong and u should feel bad about doing that shit.

now for 2., same situation as above, except the person in question lies about being a victim. they may still be interrogate the person about their ‘abuse’ but they can make shit up and no one can verify it.

this makes that whole thing useless.

second item:

i know yall want to protect minors from predatory adults. i get that. that, in and of itself, isnt bad, in fact it’s honorable and i applaud u. but the way u go about it? messy af.

for one thing, calling non pedophillic ships pedophillic? messy. not to mention it desensitizes people’s reaction to pedophilia and takes away the meaning of the word. if say shuri x bucky is pedophillic, then what about the ships on tvd and to that involve vampires? it’s the same basic principle; high school aged people being paired with incredibly old vampires (i say people because i think there are high school dudes who are paired with vampire chicks???? idk i dont really watch those shows), which can be considered worse considering that, as vampires, they are not only older but more powerful. remember how damon manipulated caroline in season fucking one? that happened yall. but people still ship it and i would argue that it is worse than shuri x bucky (not to bash that ship i have no problem with it, it looks like damon became a better person over the seasons so idk how the dynamic between him and caroline changed it’s just not my thing personally) (also i cant say shit about vampire ships because i ship klonnie and bamon to hell and back), as there is a history of manipulation and abuse whereas with shuri x bucky there is no such history.

and to blame fictional ships for real life acts of abuse is just,,,,,,no. will abusers take a piece of fiction to justify their actions? maybe. ive personally never heard of that but that doesnt mean it doesnt happen. but abusers are just likely to use smth else to justify their actions, or not try and justify it at all. putting the blame on fiction is so incredibly puritan i genuinely wonder what kind of purist upbringing some of yall had. it isnt new and innovative in the slightest.

people will use whatever they can to justify their actions. look at religious extremists; they use their holy texts to say that their bigotry and hatred is not only justified, but right in the eyes of their deity. does that mean we should burn all holy texts? fuck no. and if u argue for that i will legitimately fight u catch me outside.

(genuinely it sounds like some of u really do want a bonfire of the vanities jfc)

is comparing the burning of holy texts to the nonsense antis do over dramatic? yeah im willing to admit to that, but considering how dramatic they are it seems to fit.

and this obsession yall have with purity? again puritan af and fucking tired and stupid. ridiculing people, esp women, for their desires, esp their sexual ones, is incredibly old and i really dont know how else to express that to yall. telling women what they can and cannot like is naive at best and viciously misogynistic at worse, and doesnt help women. if anything it’s detrimental as it prohibits women from fully exploring their sexual desires and wants and identities, which can lead to sexual repression which im sure yall know is bad. but in case u didnt know it’s bad, it’s bad. like google that shit sis.

anyways tl;dr im tired of this shit, it isnt progressive, it’s dumb.

@irresistible-revolution @thefudge thoughts?

#long post #ask me to tag #nearly used the anti tags but the lord reached down to stop me himself #also guys feel free to like not respond to this giant word vomit lmao

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missjackil · 7 years

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Fan Fic is Better Than This!!

If you have ever said this about Supernatural or any of the shows/movies you like, I have a couple things to say to you.

1. You’re absolutely right!

2. You read too much fan fic! Ill get to both of these points, in just a sec, just let me say first, I am not insulting neither readers, nor writers of fan fic, I am both myself, so no need to get defensive, but please give me a few (maybe more) minutes, and hear me out :) I see a lot of SPN fans complain about the show, for any number of reasons, but one thing keeps being said by the complainer, and that is “I’ve read better fan fiction!” And well, of course you did! Anyone who has a favorite fic, or really anyone who has read more than 3 fics, knows that fan fiction is better. The reason being, is simpy the lack of restrictions. Supernatural is restricted by many things, the channel that its on, prevents the language used, the amount of sex and violence, and even the themes. The actors, Jared and Jensen age every day (im sure they wouldnt mind changing that hehe) the show’s own canon (even though sometimes it’s overlooked) and the PTB’s desire to not take the story certain places... ie, no ships will become canon most likely. However, Fan Fiction has no restrictions. If you dont like the way an episode or story arch ended, you can find a fix it fic for pretty much anything, If youd like w*ncest or d*stiel or s*stiel to be explored, you need to go to fan fic, because it wont be on the show. So, really, saying you have read better fan fic is redundant. The purpose of fan fic is to be better than the show. Imagine, your favorite fan fic played out on screen. Wouldnt it be awesome? Or, is there an episode you liked so much that you thought “OMG, that was better than fan fic!” Probably not, if you have read it, and have any that you like at all. My second point is to say, that you may possibly read too much fan fic

When we reach for fan fic, it is usually because something in the show grabbed us as exciting, intriguing, sexy, painful or any interest really, and it inspired us to think about it in different ways. Example, I like when Sam has been sick or hurt and Dean comforts him, or vise versa, so I like reading hurt!comfort fics because the show doesnt get into it enough, or deep enough. I loved The Trials, when Sam was sick and emotional, and Dean wanted so bad to take care of him, he carried a thermometer around with him! But it passed so quickly, I really wasnt satisfied, so I go look for fics on that topic. I didnt like the way 12x2 ended after all Sam’s torture, he didnt recieve any comfort, so I wrote a fix it fic. I think this is how all us reader/writers do this right? However the problem is that because we read or write so much fan fic, that we kinda forget that some things never happen in canon, or happen very rarely, and sady this makes the show seem boring. Like I loved the “Nothing past or present I would put before you” speech so much, but stuff like that happens rarely on the show, yet its in pretty much any angsty Sam/Dean fan fic. Now, fan fiction is like a drug. We all remember when we first fell in love with the show, and the characters. All that excitement and emotion that kept us coming back even through crappy episodes, or even crappy seasons. So we go back and re-watch our favorites, but even that desensitizes us. After 25 watches, even Swan Song doesn’t pack the same punch. So we itch for new episodes, hoping to feel that way again, episodes with such an impact are very few and far between, especially when we have to watch week by week. So we reach for fan fic to get us through, and even though its artificial, it fills us with that excitment and emotion again, until eventually, another epic episode airs, and leaves us flat “It was ok, but Ive read better fan fic” not even realizing fan fiction cannot be duplicated on screen. Eventually, even are favorite fan fics dont do the trick and we need new ones, with more of this, and less of that, and maybe try some of this thing for spice, but fan fiction always expands, and the show can only go so far. If you were a big fan of soulless!sam you can only enjoy about 9 episodes of him, or you can read 200 fan fics (maybe more) about him, and even anticipate more coming out. Maybe you think Demon Dean wasn’t explored enough? Theres dozens of fics on him too, and how about a team up of Demon Dean and Soulless Sam? The show isn’t likely to bring those 2 back, but you can visit them in writing whenever you want. You think/hope/wish Sam and/or Dean are bisexual even though the show never even hints such a thing? Fan fic remedies that, but read enough and you’ll start to believe the show supports it, and then when it shows otherwise, it may upset you, or make it seem like the boys are OOC when attracted to a female. Again, I have no problem with fan fiction itself. Its fun and I like writing and reaging it, but I appreciate the great things the show has given us, even stuck in their restrictions, and sometimes those restrictions encourage me to write a fic that would be better than what Ive seen on screen. So maybe change the thought a little. Instead of saying “Ive read better fan fiction” watch a bad episode and think “Ive read worse fan fiction” because I know you have done that also ;)

#my meta #fan fiction

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