#also like i DO have dreams with sequrls/repeats/returns sometimes even years later & 'remember' the last one. nightmares included.

[fluentisonus]

waking up from.a frightening dream at 4am in which a scary book was central which in the dream (could sort of tell I was dreaming on one level) I thoroughly believed was a real book that had been brought up the other day irl & that my dreaming mind was riffing off of bc I had not read yet. but having woken up. I'm not entirely convinced this is the case. and now I'm kind of scared to look it up tbh bc what's worse that it doesn't exist but I've dreamed about it several different nights & it's broken down my dream/reality conscious barrier (& I might dream it again??? this does happen to me) or that it does & I have to live in a world where it exists & I could read it.

#seriously considering just not sleeping any more & just getting up now at 4am now lol. i don't want to go back to sleep #thoughts #tbc in the dream the book was just a horror type deal it wasn't actually like. powerful. beyond the way it warped my 'levels' of reality #which ngl has shaken me bc i can usually tell well enough if I'm dreaming even if I can't act on it #so some sort of scary narrative/reality breakdown here #<- sorry for the distracted rambling I'm still half asleep & twitching at weird sounds. i will feel better shortly though i usually do #the last time this happened i was in high school & having a dream i could tell i was dreaming in & then 'woke up' & rolled over to find a #perfect representation of my room except the lady from my dream was standing in the middle of it facing away from me oddly still. & then #when i woke up for real I couldn't make myself turn over for like an hour i was so distressed abt what I'd see but also more importantly #that i didn't know/couldn't reliably trll if i was dreaming or not. terrifying prospect tbh #also like i DO have dreams with sequrls/repeats/returns sometimes even years later & 'remember' the last one. nightmares included. #which i hate btw