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abby-howard · 1 year

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Hi! I've been following your comics for a long time and just saw that you squatted over 200 lbs! Congratulations!!

I want to ask this with the best of intentions and good faith. Would you still consider yourself fat? I recently started weightlift training myself and there's this annoying fatphobic part of my brain that is always present whenever i start any type of exercise that says "oh, will this be the thing that makes me loss my belly?" And it usually gets drowned out by the learned body positivity telling me not to make that a goal and there's nothing wrong with my fat.

Tysm! And that is a very good question, thank you for reaching out.

I would definitely still consider myself fat-- I work out 3-5 times a week and have for years, and my legs are pretty muscular, which is nice! But I am a chunky person, and it's pretty clear to me at this point that even if I drown in anxiety every time I eat a piece of bread, that's not going to change XD

That acceptance has definitely shifted the way I think about the gym/working out for the better. My goals are no longer focused on maximizing calorie output, setting the gym up as a punishment for having the body I have, which would always send me into anxiety spirals about going. Instead, I wanted to make the gym a regular (non-stressful) part of my life, because I realized maintaining a baseline of fitness-- at whatever size I am-- is important to helping me remain independent and able to do the work I'm passionate about as I age.

I feel like this change in my relationship with the gym has been one of the more important changes in my life-- treating working out as something more like doing the dishes than some kind of major shift into a new, thinner chapter of my life. I figure that I probably have many years ahead of me, and with how much I value my independence, I want to make sure I can stay mobile and pain-free for as long as I can (so I can keep making comics).

That of course doesn't mean I'll never get sick, or that ppl who do get sick just didn't do enough squats or deserve to be stigmatized for it! But osteoporosis has cropped up in my family before, and lifting helps increase bone density, as well as building a good foundation of stabilizing muscles if anything ever goes wrong. It's helped get rid of back pain and improve my posture, and while I'm sure there's a technique component at play, I feel like I have lifting to thank for my wrist strength-- drawing all those tiny lines somehow hasn't destroyed my wrist, and is always easier when I'm consistently deadlifting!

And, of course, there's the confidence that comes with picking up a big heavy thing and putting it back down. I feel proud that I have a body that can do that, which is something I have never felt before, even with everything I know about body positivity. When I first started lifting I also had those little thoughts about how it might impact my waistline-- I think it's something that's so deeply ingrained in fat people to prioritize that it's really hard to shut off. But it eventually did stop, replaced with an honest desire to explore my body's ability to pick up heavy thing off ground. An exploration of my body's strengths instead of a punishment for its perceived faults.

I hope this was helpful and didn't just sound like an ad for powerlifting XD

#fatphobia #fitness #powerlifting #this also is not meant to serve as a guideline for life #the last thing i want is for people to feel like i look down on them for not doing the things i do #and as i said of course i don't think powerlifting will make me immortal #i could blow out a knee just as easy as anyone else #but! it's fun to be able to pick up my spouse and dance around with him on my back

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clonerightsagenda · 4 months

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Welp I have now achieved "tumblr is so anti-science" on the lunar burials post, will I have to turn off replies

#also hysterically someone responding and going 'well you know most people don't read past headlines.#we don't know everything about it like x y z (things explained in the articles)#which I did in fact read #once more cursed by not knowing which posts will blow up #i don't want to tag this mooncourse

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antisocialxconstruct · 4 months

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I haven't worked in a pet store in like eight years but god I still have SO many feelings about good fish care

#almost came to blows one time with a woman who really really wanted to put a goldfish in a bowl #which like. I understand. that's the cliche #but after I politely explained to her why that wouldn't be good for the fish and ALSO the store had a policy not to sell goldfish for bowls #she was just like 'well what if I tell you the bowl is for something else? then you'd sell me a goldfish right? ;) teehee'#and I was just like. ma'am. why is it so important to you to have a sick dying fish #if you can't even be bothered to set up a 5gal with a filter then you don't actually want a fish. you want decor #get out of here.

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pocketramblr · 2 months

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Dash simulator

Blog 1: lol anyone else seeing a lot of strawberries in new recipes now? sometimes its fun but i really dont get the appeal of adding it to everything. why did you make strawberry garlic bread

Blog 2: u kno im not a fan of strawberries, i really like the rich sweet and sour notes from oranges, oranges and chocolate is such a good combo. i altered a recipe for a smoothie with oranges last week and it was soooo good ill give you my notes if you want Reblogged by: Blog 1: ahaha yesss i love chocolate and oranges

Blog 3: I canNOT believe the hate im seeing to strawberries right now, like, you know guys know the rule don't like don't bake right?? you know you can hit the back button right?? honestly what's wrong with yall

Open draft- wait guys you know there's a difference between leaving a comment on a recipe saying you hate strawberries and the recipe writer should never use them, and going to your own blog to say you don't really like strawberries, without naming any specific people or recipes right? you know there's a difference right?? - Save - Post - Discard

Draft discarded

Blog 4: why is everyone jumping on the strawberry hate train right now. what is wrong with you. Reblogged by: Blog 5: I knowwww like guys some people stop baking because of reading things like that, please stop it, if you don't like strawberries you can be quiet about it

Open draft- im so sorry if anyone's getting sent mean messages or comments about what they're writing and baking, but i'm literally not seeing any of that and if you are, please use the block button. but someone making a post on their own blog is not that, and if you can't see the irony in you being allowed to complain on personal blogs but not them i can't help you... - save- post- discard

Draft discarded

Blog 2: are strawberries even in season?

Blog 6: woo cherry pie!

#trying so hard to be a blog 6 rn #im discarding those drafts #but clearly it has been too much for me as this one is getting posted #like i really am sorry if any. strawberry antis are directly being rude to anyone #that isnt ok #but i have seen zero of that on my dash or in the tag #i saw a few blogs saying lol they don't like strawberries #and then i saw a ton of blogs saying how dare there be any negativity at all #and seeming to act as if those blog posts were specifically about disliked fic authors i mean recipe makers #which... if any of them were... i didn't see it because of how i blocked large swaths of the fandom like three years ago #when i realized that it was determined to blow up a discourse topic every single month #and if there are people doing that. please. do what i did. block en mass #if you open a recipe that turns out to have strawberries in it and you cant hit the back button but instead leave a nasty comment that is a #you problem #but also if you see a random blog post about someone saying they dislike strawberries- hate strawberries even- and you feel personally #attacked and start crying about how now you never want to bake a strawberry shortcake again and they're so mean #that is also. a you problem.#'what fandom is this pocket' dont worry about it #not one i have any mutuals in #which. considering the mass blocking and the annoying chronic discourse explosions. perhaps is not surprising

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waitingforminjae · 2 years

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i have sooooooooooo many thoughts abt pete’s physical appearance that i can’t even begin to form a coherent thought esp bc ik it’s probably tied to a lot of........questionable bl tropes regarding uke/seme and top/bottom but also regardless of the reasoning behind it their decision to maintain his soft and unassuming physical appearance really works for the character bc it emphasizes the complexity that build put into pete, but also bc it’s nice to see a genuinely badass character like pete not be hyper-beefed up, but just look like a normal guy

#i am fully obsessed w build jakapan btw i need him to be only in good films/shows and also to blow up and be famous as an actor #f: kinnporsche #p: build jakapan #like. tbh pete as a character wouldn't hit as hard if he looked like idk bas or bible #pete looking like just some guy is soooooooooo crucial to the character hitting as hard as he does #like i don't want him to be bl famous i want him to be famous among the gp as a good actor

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softquietsteadylove · 12 days

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Hello birdie 🖤✨

I've got something for the Life Interrupted AU.

Thena isn't feeling well lately and is considering to go back into this hellhole where she's getting drugged to unconsciousness. She's packing her stuff when Gil shows up. He's trying to talk it out of her.

(And I definitely didn't had this Idea because I'm stuck in one of those hellholes, lol)

✨🖤Hugs an Love🖤✨

"Going somewhere?"

Thena sighed, setting down one of her shirts and staring down at her bed. "I was thinking about it."

Gil walked further into her room, having just arrived. "Druig texted me. Really surprised me to hear from him, but he said you've been acting weird--wants me to 'talk to some sense into you'."

Thena let out a humourless chuckle. "I'm surprised he decided to entrust you with that task."

"Gotta say, I am too," Gil agreed quietly until he was standing behind her. "I have to agree--you seem a little anxious lately."

She had been nervous, jumpy, and Gil knew it. They hadn't been able to go out on a date in weeks because she felt on the verge of a panic attack at the thought of having to navigate crowds or risk running into someone. "Maybe...maybe I should consider-"

"Don't," he whispered, placing his hand gently over hers. Her bag was already half full. "Don't say you're going back to that place."

Thena squeezed her eyes shut, tears already burning the insides of them. "Where should I go, Gil?"

"Anywhere else," he concluded. He pulled her hand away from packing up as if she were sailing off into the horizon. He moved slowly and gently until he could sit on the chair in the corner of her room and look up at her. "Please, Thena, just talk to me."

When he was seated lower, she had no excuse not to look at him. But she stared down at his hands, holding hers so, so gently. "Druig and Makkari have been looking at places again."

Gil raised his brows. "That...that's good...right?"

It was. It was what she wanted. She wanted their lives to continue on after the ugliness of the last year. She wanted her brother to feel free to settle down and marry the love of his life. And he could do that without worrying about his sister, she was determined.

"He keeps asking me to see them," she admitted quietly, as if Druig had his ear pressed against the door and would be wounded by overhearing her. "He keeps picking rooms that he says can be mine--if I so choose."

"So," Gil prompted, giving her hands a little squeeze, "what's so bad about that?"

Thena shook her head, looking up around the ceiling of her room to keep her tears from falling. "I'm not some child he has to drag around with him. He should be choosing a home to suit him and his wife, not worrying about his burdensome sister."

"Come on," Gil whispered, his eyes drifting downward from the sheer weight of Thena's discouragement. "You know he doesn't think of you like that."

Thena sighed, pulling her hands from Gil's and plopping herself on the corner of her bed. She pressed them to her head, trying to keep them from shaking. "I know he doesn't. That is exactly the problem."

"Okay, so you don't want him worrying about you," Gil shrugged, turning in the chair to face her head on again.

Thena stared down at her knees. She wasn't wearing her work dress and stockings with a tight ponytail. But she couldn't bring herself to wear soft sweatpants anymore, opting for athleisure leggings and a cardigan at even her most comfortable.

"What else?"

She toyed with her fingernails. "I don't want to live here alone."

Gil nodded again, leaning back in the chair.

She hunched over herself more, despite her sore back. "It's not about the cost, it's...I can't be here by myself, thinking all these...things."

"Okay, so we'll find somewhere else for you," Gil leapt at the opportunity to suggest an alternative. He leaned forward again, even scooching toward the edge of the seat. "I'll help you look."

She smiled, although she still wasn't feeling the intent behind the action. "Druig offered the same. Even Makkari--but that's not the point."

Gil seemed to understand what she was getting at. And of course he did, it was Gil. He was sweet, and understanding, and he always seemed to know what she was trying to say, even if she didn't have the words. "You want to find a place for yourself."

She sighed, looking at her hands again. "I don't seem capable of anything these days."

Gil took her hands in his again, rubbing his thumb over her skin. "You know that's not true."

She wasn't as sure as he was. She never was--never had his confidence, or positivity. It was something she both envied and admired about him. She loved it about him. "Maybe-"

"No!"

She blinked, taken aback by his outburst. He was always so soft spoken, especially with her. She had never heard him so much as raise his voice. The only things he did loudly were laughing and sneezing.

"Maybe nothing!" he pressed, standing from the chair. "That place never did you any good. I don't think it does anyone any good! And I will not let you go back to that misery!"

Thena's eyes fluttered, her back straightening. Her heart began to squeeze at the sheer volume of things, but this was Gil--she was safe with him.

"Thena," he finally quieted again, kneeling in front of her. "You never have to go back to that place, okay? I don't care if you have a nervous breakdown--I'll take care of you. I'll take better care of you than they ever would in there. Just--just promise me you won't go back there because you're worried about burdening people."

She blinked, those tears she was trying to hold back finally falling. It was completely dark outside, her small bedside lamp offering minimal lighting. But it caught Gil's features in just such a way that made him seem so beautiful. "I don't want to go back there."

"Good," he nodded, turning her hand so he could press his lips to it.

"But," she gasped, her lip wobbling. She clung to him. "But what if I'm not me, anymore?"

"You're exactly who you need to be," he said without a hint of doubt in his voice. "You're Thena."

So completely unwavering, her Gilgamesh.

"You're my Thena," he repeated, softer this time, kissing the back of her other hand before pulling her up to stand with him. His hands slipped around waist to rest at her back. "That's all you need to be."

She wasn't sure who 'Thena' was, at times. At least, not as she knew herself before all this. Gil kept saying that the past year was a part of her, for better or worse. But she just wanted to leave it behind--to revert to the version of her that had existed before it all.

"Look," he whispered, still holding her so gently. "Maybe that's easy for me to say. I didn't know you before. But the Thena I know is pretty damn amazing."

She let another laugh, still not humoured in the least.

"She is," he chuckled, though, and he did mean it. He leaned closer, touching his forehead to hers. "She's this badass translator, works in a big, fancy office. She's actually pretty funny, if she's in a good mood. Kinda likes messing with me."

"I do not."

"Just a little," he contested, scrunching up his nose faintly. "But I think that side of her is cute. And she's tough--way tougher than she thinks she is. And she's an incredible sister, even when her brother is being a pain in our ass."

"Our?" she interrupted.

"Our," he confirmed, touching the tips of their noses together to silence her. "And I know he's just worried about you. That's why he keeps saying you can stay with them if you want. But I guess he doesn't really know it's stressing you out."

Thena sighed, dragged back into the depths of her problems like plunging into ice cold water. "How do I tell him?"

Gil skipped over that question, still busy holding her, almost swaying as his weight shifted from foot to foot. "So, this Thena--I mean, to me, she's the most incredible woman in the world."

"Gil," she sighed, trying to pull him from his reverent description of her.

But he nudged her head until he could kiss her lips, also gently. As gently as everything else about him. "She's the woman I love, plain and simple."

Oh, did she ever love him. She had gone from being someone who probably didn't really believe in love for herself at all to being head over heels for her sweet, gentle giant.

She sighed as she kissed him again, leaning up on her toes to loop her arms around his neck. Kissing Gil always made her feel more human--more grounded and real. It took away the buzzing in her head and replaced it with with a heavy and pleasant sedative that could spread through her veins.

Gil stayed close, his forehead against hers, lips still faintly puckered. "Better?"

"Hm," she sighed. She didn't need to explain herself--not to him. She ran her fingers gently through the hair at the back of his head. If only she never had to go to work, or take public transport, or go to house viewings where the realtor would look at her oddly. If only she could stay in Gil's arms every second of every day.

"Good," he sufficed to say, tapping his fingers against the back of her sweater. He moved his hand to her hip. "So, about this living situation-"

"Right," she sighed the heaviest she had yet (which was saying something).

"Hey," he nudged her gently, pulling her eyes up to him. "A unit in my building is going on the market for next month. It's the one above mine--sweet old guy is moving out to be closer to his grand kids."

Oh. Living that close to Gil--being neighbours?

"I can always ask him if he'd be open to a lease trade-off," Gil suggested, although he was unable to hide his excitement at the prospect in his smile. "What do you think?"

Being that close to Gil? Being his upstairs neighbour?

His smile wobbled faintly, turning sheepish as he looked away. "It's a little more modest than this place. But it's a one bedroom, and it's not a bad location. And-"

Thena stood on her toes, pressing her lips to his, even with a cliche 'mmwah' sound. He looked dazed after the firmer kiss, which made her smile genuinely for the first time that night. She leaned against him heavier, but he steadied her without a second thought. "I think that sounds perfect."

"Really?" he asked, beaming like a dog about to receive a treat with a wagging tail.

She took his cheeks in her hands, "it sounds wonderful, Gil."

"O-Okay," he laughed, sounding near hysteria. But he pulled her against his chest in his arms, even lifting her off the ground slightly as he spun them. "This'll be amazing, sweetie, I promise!"

He needed no promises. The thought of having him a mere flight of stairs away was already comforting, in a sense. And she had been to his flat plenty of times. He was right, it was in a good location, and it wasn't any further from her office than she was now, all things considered.

Gil set her on her feet once more. "I'll talk to him tonight."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself," she advised gently. It wasn't often she was able to offer a calming voice of reason these days; it felt familiar, even soothing. She toyed with some some stray hairs of his. "I may have to apply, like everyone else."

"Peh," Gil waved in dismissal again (making her laugh, again). "The old guy loves me. And that's before I tell him some sob story about wanting my girlfriend to move in so we can be closer."

Thena blushed softly, toying with the hem of her cardigan. Sometimes she had to remind herself that Gil wasn't just 'someone she was seeing', and actually the man she had known for more than half a year and had been dating for more than half that time, now.

"It'll be great," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "We can carpool to work, I'll be right downstairs if you ever wanna talk--or cuddle."

"Gil," she admonished, but it came out as a light and air whisper as he kissed her cheek again, his five o'clock shadow against her skin.

He stopped nuzzling her just to look at her more solemnly. "You should tell Druig."

"It was your idea."

"Exactly," Gil made a face, shrinking somewhat. "He'll kill me."

Thena rolled her eyes, her spirits lifting by the moment. "It's not as if you're offering to shack up with me yourself."

He didn't laugh at her joke. He didn't even seem to realise it was a joke, just shrugged one shoulder. "I mean they're both only one bedroom units. Plus, I imagine you want some space for yourself for a little. Feel like you have some more control?"

Well, he was exactly right about that, as always. Although she hadn't expected his rebuttal to be that they would need a larger space if they were to live together. She just blinked, "precisely."

"So it's decided," he grinned again, and gave her another kiss for good measure. "I'll go talk to Karun, you talk to Druig. He really is worried about you."

"I know," she mumbled, feeling properly chastised. She unlinked her hands from behind his head and squeezed his forearms. "I'm sure he was desperate to call you."

"And I'm suggesting you move into my building instead of in with him?--he's gonna have my head."

Thena laughed genuinely for the first time that night. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from him."

Gil stared at her in a way that made her toes curl. He bent his head down to sneak into the crook of her neck under her jaw. "I know you will."

She shivered as he left a kiss on her pulse point.

But he left it at that, pulling away and standing to his full height again. It left her feeling chilly, needing to pull her cardigan tighter around herself. "Okay."

Thena nodded, letting him take her by the hand. She did have to talk to Druig--about everything. About moving and also about how she would be okay without him hovering over her shoulder. She would be okay without that hell hole and its medication and she would be okay even if she felt like this different version of herself, possibly forever.

Gil grasped the doorknob with his other hand, the door not fully closed and letting in just a sliver of light from the rest of the house. He held her other hand, giving it a squeeze. "Ready?"

She nodded, holding his hand tighter, just in case she needed it. But she smiled, "ready."

#Thenamesh Life Interrupted AU #I love this au!#and we love you Love!#Thena is feeling worse and worse about Druig moving out before proposing #he's all stressed about her staying with them #but stressed because she doesn't want him to stress #it's a lot going on #so Thena gets more withdrawn thinking about all this #and eventually Druig does the unthinkable #he texts his sister's boyfriend and tells him to get his ass down here and talk to her #they come out of her room #They're holding hands and Thena looks oh so besotted #Druig sits up from the couch holding Makkari like I already don't like this #Thena tells Druig listen she appreciates his concern and she'll come and visit all the time #but she's going to move into Gil's place #and Druig loses his everloving mind #he blows up about how it's too soon and they barely know each other and he doesn't trust Gil enough to let them shack up #and Thena lets him get it all out of his system before finishing saying: Gil's apartment........complex #Makkari: lol #Druig totally loses his steam and just goes oh...well I guess that's not so bad #because Thena knows how to break bad news to her little brother #Druig is still a little wary of it and he still tells Gil that if he ever thinks Thena is upset because of him #he's got a whole lot of hell comin' his way #but he's also a good brother and tells her he'll help her move and he's not going anywhere until she's settled #they haven't settled on a house yet anyway and he won't actually leave until Thena is settled #if she called and said I don't like it here Druig is like okay we're living in the townhouse forever #meanwhile Thena actually wants him to leave the nest so she and Gil can be cutesy flirty neighbours and carpool and have sleepovers

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flutteras · 1 month

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Anyone wanna be spam booped?

#dont want to blow up someone's notifications randomly but i also want the badges for booping a lot #boop #april fools #feel free to spam boop me i don't give a fuck about notification spam

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sisterdivinium · 2 months

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Sometimes I wonder whether the cancellation wasn't positive in its own way.

We went out on a high, so there were chances that whatever came next might not match those expectations; we were left with quite a few unanswered questions, which can be inspiring both for those of us who write fic as well as those who try to read more deeply into the show; there are blanks that facilitate a fic writer's making use of them which might have been filled in less satisfying ways should canon have failed to live up to what we each wanted of it...

But I suppose it's easier to look at it like this from the point of view of someone who is invested in creating her own little versions and what-ifs concerning her favourite characters in the show. For someone who is just a reader or who just appreciates all the ways in which fan creativity manifests itself without much taking part in it, I guess there's a bit more dependence on canon.

#to be entirely honest with you i prefer it stays cancelled if getting it back in any way pointed at my faves being anything but gay lol #i'd rather have the total ambiguity and all the open possibilities i have now than see canon even suggest men in their lives #(me? never forgiving the show for having lilith kiss adriel like that? it's more likely than you think)#i know some people would be overjoyed but to me it's like. i never get to have my faves as lesbians in media. ever.#so having no confirmation but also NO shred of canon suggestion they might be anything else is pretty satisfying TO ME.#it's so much better to not have to acknowledge some random bloke from a woman's past for once #(lol i remember getting in an argument with an ex about borias in xena this one time. that was... wild.)#of course i'm CURIOUS as to what they would have done if we had had s3 and beyond #but who knows what might have happened?#i'm not tagging this because i don't know what sort of response it might get lol. please be thoughtful if saying anything #do feel free to TALK though. me not wanting this to blow up doesn't mean i don't want a conversation lol!#meta fandom talk i guess

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wizardnuke · 24 days

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loudly bitching about someone over the phone for 40 minutes straight at work while coworkers sideeye me. sorry. i have never shown this behavior before and itll be another two years before i do it again

#THERAPEUTIC. incredible things happening.#this person. me and this guy both love this person. but Oh my God.#he called to tell me abt something that kind of pissed him off last night and i started talking about a month and a half ago #why are we handholding this grown ass person thru fomo and massive control issues. well. it's not a dealbreaker but i might blow up one day #oscillating between 'yes i love them' and 'i've been pissed for a month and a half'#the horrors of having a interconnected friend group? it's really just two people i would really really hate to lose. others wouldn't be as #affected but those two. i love them. and AGAIN it's not a dealbreaker it's just kind of a buildup of behaviors. anyone remember my bitchy #post about the fomo/anxiety essay #also smaller things like Why are you trying to micromanage two disc servers that you dont have to lift a fucking finger in #um. my beloved irl if you see this. you didn't. i do love her to death. you know i do #the issue is if i put out all my issues they would take it really badly like they would act like it's the end of the fucking world #when i'm just like hey i am not your mother or your therapist and also stop trying to tell me what to fucking do #they would. um. lose it.#and some people are gonna get hit in the crossfire and i don't want to cause that. even tho it. wouldnt really be me.

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fromtheseventhhell · 6 months

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Huge fan of annoying stans getting their comeuppance in the form of either a) getting the ending they wanted but it being so poorly written that it's universally criticized and ignored (bonus points if it involves the writers or cast doing damage control and recontextualizing things) or b) them getting the exact opposite ending to what they predicted with only the tiniest of crumbs towards what they wanted (bonus points if the crumbs in question have to be misinterpreted to count)

#my personal favorite is the ending being hated + it only being scraps + the writers going walking things back as the death blow #it just has a certain flavor to me...annoying fans getting their karma for acting crazy over fiction and getting absolutely zero out of it #applies to a....certain ending in particular 🤭 but this could also apply to a lot of fandoms #show!stansas being very high up on the list #them getting the ending they wanted but GOT being universally considered one of the worst finales in history + it's cultural #impact disappearing basically overnight because of how hated the ending was...it's so funny to me #I love when annoying stans who think they understand the material more than anybody else and act like they own the fandom #end up looking stupid cause the source material and fan reactions don't go the way they think they should

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 1 month

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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #sebastian vael #listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks #okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else #and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't #it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more #even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline #whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke #i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame #then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him #even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there #and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah #but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els #also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him #i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it #also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious #because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like #an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks #i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power #and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai #and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think #i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him

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boxwinebaddie · 1 month

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does cd's management like raven and jersey dating? bc i just knowww that raven started taking care of himself and looking cleaner

oooooh.

okay, so i am going to answer this through the lens of ravenstan and jerseykyle secretly dating sort of in the middle of rm, after kyle finds out raven is his stan ( which is my second favorite chapter aaaaa!!!! ) because by the time they start actually officially dating/are out to the public, the original corrupt management line-up, namely fartman aka e.t. tenorman, are dissolved/dealt w.

but management...while they don't Know abt it,

…they do naught like it.

At All, tbh.

because, yes, while i do think that kyle be ironing stan's pants and fluffing up his hair...he do be equally fucking it like secretly violently making out with him before shows ahsdlkadsk so, like, as a result, i would proport that stan is cleaner...but his reputation gets Sloppier.

i say this because ravenstan is a 'yes man', lived under managements thumb ( by management i really just mean cartman -- i called him 'management' so as not to give too much away ), was basically a pretty boy rockstar marionette that cartman could get to do whatever he wanted bc he owns raven/all of the cd boys technically.

but when stan starts secretly dating kyle...jersey really bolsters his confidence and rae starts to get very bold and defiant/take his power back. bc kyle watching stan wither is like, you don't need to take that baby! you are in charge, this is your show. you don't have to do whatever they want! they're the ones who have to listen to YOU.

so when management starts ordering stan around, for like the first time since he started being raven, he puts his little combat boot down ( ravenstan having tiny ass feet is so funny to me ) and is like "no, i don't want to do that. i want to do this." literally my man is like "I. SAID. I. WANT. TO. GO. TO. TACO. BELL!" sdhkjsahd go awwhff!

but more than any of that...he just looks so much Happier. :') like he is drinking waaaaay less, he's smiling so much more and it's genuine, its not a shield for his sadness...him and kyle do play up hating each other to divert the suspicions of their friends and the world around them, which is so funny bc they're like "i hate you" and then texting each other hearts and smileys, kickin their feet and twirling their hair.

tldr: stan gets securer, happier and bouncier while secretly dating kyle, but that means his performance as gritty bad boy heartthrob raven of crimson dawn gets a lot weaker, faker and messier. he starts standing his ground and i'm not sure about whether cart knows or not, but i think the wheels are turnin in his head, watching stan and kyle sit closer and closer together, stan racing out of his dressing room with his clothes askew, at meetings on his phone w/ heart eyes.

cartman gets angry/jealous, feels like he's losing control,

ergo...

Enter Call Girl. ;)

-uncle nina, diabolically wringing her fingers together

#i hope this answers your question darling #but yeah jersey does clean ravenstan up #( he does look his best w his hair a lil messy tho )#and he drinks a lot less so he is way less sad and tired #like u can just see the he is noticably healthier #mentally and physically all of a sudden #and kyle starts teaching stan to stand up for himself and stop taking all of carts shit and doing whatev everyone else wants #so stan starts being hella bold and being like no!! i don't want to!!!! which freeeeaks cartman/management out #jim marj n kenny are also shook bc holy shit did our stan just yell did our stan just argue yo im scared but this is awesome #but yeah cartman gets mad mad mad i think he starts having a pi follow ravenstan/jersey and starts lurking on em and #to put an end to things...#for a bad time cartman contacts call girl with an offer ( who as a rising star does need the clout of dating raven of cd )#and the internet blows up w the news that punkrock prince raven of cd is dating the internets gf pop princess call girl #and ohhhhhh my god stan had no idea #and when kyle sees it??? ALLLL HELL BREAKS LOOSE #its such a mess he wont even let stan explaIN DUDE :( hes just like stay the hell away from me i cant believe u lied to me #AGAAAAAAAAAAAAIN #were in hell #but yeah daibolical am i right #also call girl did not know raven of crimson dawn was not down with it she was also confused bc she thought #raven was dating jersey askhdksd like everyone else!!! but cartman was like no :) just publicity stunt :) sign here <3 #hEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MESSY AS HELL

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fluffyk97 · 1 year

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I just keep thinking of all these different scenarios of either Sonic dying, or becoming immortal thanks to the emeralds- all that. Now suddenly I have the idea of both, kinda (sprinkled with a bit of Sonadow).

Sonic's special bond with the emeralds (because he totally does) leads him to be a but burdened with immortality. Of course he hates it when it's found out, feeling a part of his own freedom being taken away from him, even if it's death. It hurts seeing those around him growing older and eventually passing.

But Sonic being Sonic, he makes sure to find the positives through it all. Tails for one, luckily being a kitsune (I'm attached to the idea), doesn't pass either. Then Shadow and Omega, he manages to grow closer to them (Shadow especially). Raising Silver (Adopted? Tube baby as a Sonadow kid? Can't decide). All while keeping the world safe. He even looks forward to seeing Chip again.

But terrible event happens and the world starts dying. Drought, all vegetation drying up and falling apart. All energy in the world is just... dying. Even the Master Emerald, but the Chaos Emeralds still hold their power.

Sonic draws the last energy of the Master Emerald into himself and the Chaos Emeralds, he overfills himself with energy begging to be released, ready to tear his body apart. Tails frantically tries to pull anything else up on any of his tech to try and find another solution, but all he gets is static and a black screen. Shadow feels himself frozen as he stares at Sonic glowing like the sun right in front of him. He tries to tell Sonic to stop, let him do it instead. Shadow feels so angry as grief bubbles in his chest while Sonic just smiles at him and shakes his head. They both know only Sonic can do it anyway...

Sonic floats down to Shadow, placing the shared inhibitor ring Shadow gave him so long ago in his hand. Shadow feels his hand burn from how much energy Sonic has as his eyes burn from the tears gathering in his eyes that he hates are there.

He hates how Sonic is just smiling at him. He hates how he's just going to leave his little brother behind. He hates how he managed to worm his way into his heart. He hates how he's making him feel at that moment. Hates how he's making watch someone close to him die in front of him again. He hates how he loves him.

Sonic floats up into the sky until he's no longer seen except as just a second sun in the sky. It suddenly bursts and the light surrounds the Earth. Technology sparks back on. Water returns and fills up the oceans, lakes, rivers, streams. Plants bloom and gain back color. Life and energy returning to all other living beings around the planet that were suffering. The Earth was revived.

The Master Emerald gains back its wondrous glow, but instead of just green, it starts to shine multi-colored. Red, yellow, green, teal, blue purple, white.

Tails and Shadow inspect it later and find the similar energy signatures of the Master Emerald merged with the Chaos Emeralds and Sonic's. It hums and glows brighter in their presence, washing over them and the world as they grieve.

Sonic became a part of the Earth he loved so much, and they'll make sure to keep him safe.

#sonic the hedgehog #tails the fox #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #silver the hedgehog #Sonic au #sonic headcanons #Just brain dumping because I feel lonely and want to get things out without worrying I'm bothering somebody-#Also thinking about Sonic ideas to distract myself from blowing up about Monkie Kid S4 for my friend that's waiting for English release #Anyway yeah just very thrown together #I keep listening to audios on tiktok too and getting Sonadow feels #I kind of forgot Silver being there in the end with Sonic sacrificing himself -#personally don't know what he'd do either-#Its 2 am #Yeah take all this how you want #This is also like- very inspired by all sorts of like aus and fics I've read and seen and got printed into my brain #I am cringe but i am free

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