#also i am currently fighting covid and my period as i type this so

[diesoonandsuffer]

updated thoughts on tng

just finished s3!

the last time i wrote about tng (here) i was 17 episodes into s1 so i thought this would be a good time to update what i think.

i can definitely see that the show is starting to hit its stride more. some episodes are better than others but for the most part i’m enjoying myself. our ensemble cast has been able to flush themselves out a bit more, which i love. i guess i’ll just talk about each crew member again.

picard: i still really don’t know what to think of this bald bitch. he’s had a few moments that i can appreciate but his character still feels so...stiff? which i mean it’s fine for someone to be but it means i won’t find them as interesting. he did just get taken by the borg so RIP :’( 

riker: he is noticeably less horny now which personally i’m okay with. don’t get me wrong i love a good man slut monday moment but sometimes i do be getting uncomfortable. i think he didn’t really get to do too much this season? but also i took a break from tng for a few weeks so my memory might be shoddy. his character is definitely getting there and he feels like a kind friend but we can keep digging.

data: i want to take this android, grab him by the shoulders, shake him and say “to want something implies emotion. curiosity does not come without emotion. don’t you understand? you feel. you’re more human than you think. you’re more human than some of the people on the enterprise.” but i can’t do that. however recently he did gain the ability to both a) murder and b) lie about murder so i’m a HUGE fan of this direction for him

geordi: i love the gay blind man who is in love with the android. i think any episode with geordi as the main focus is one that i’m gonna enjoy. he is just so.....he. you know?

beverly: i had to adjust to pulaski and then i had to adjust back again to beverly so i don’t think i really know what to think yet. i feel like i like her and i also feel like she will never be written with complete justice. just a guess.

wesley: i was told about wesley a decent amount before starting tng (or even tos) so i already knew going into it that i would have a fondness for this kid. but even outside of that, i don’t really get how anyone could like..hate him? he’s literally just a little guy. he’s not even in a lot of the episodes and the ones he is in he’s usually just going aye sir warp 8 or whatever. but like. he is a kid! a little guy! he got promoted to full ensign because he’s so awesome and cool and epic and has to save the day but also he has no friends his own age and is very home of sexual. i want to give him a big hug.

troi: hi troi <3 <3 <3 <3 HIIIIIIIII miss beautiful......... anyway sorry where am i? oh yeah. troi. i already know she’s never really gonna be written or explored in any way that really matters so i’ve sort of resigned myself to just looking at her like someone in an old cartoon does when a pretty lady walks by. you know, eyes popping out of my head, heart pumping out of my chest, steam coming out of my ears, i tug a train horn and go AHOOGA. that’s me. fun fact paramount+ refuses to load the episode where she has a love interest and i think they were trying to spare me. also i love whatever insanely casual on and off thing she and riker have going on. (i also find lwaxana troi interesting and also a lens through which we learn more about troi. i don’t know if this is controversial to think or not.)

worf: he still really hasn’t gotten to do much but i like whenever he’s around. he only had like one or two episodes this season that were about him. i do think it’s interesting that he now basically has no klingon honor. the zuko of it all...

um what else. oh i liked yesterday’s enterprise, i thought it was a good, actually proper send-off for tasha even though i know they are going to keep fucking with her character. i didnt mind pulaski but i think i prefer beverly since she feels more of her own character rather than a bones knock-off. i can’t remember her name but i miss that one security officer that was friends with geordi. i forgot about the borg until they came back but idk how to feel about them yet. whoopi goldberg is there. have y’all seen ghost? i watched ghost recently she was great in that. this isn’t relevant. um.

anyway i still have s4-7 to go through so imma be here a while but i’m definitely noticing the improvements and i’m looking forward to watching more.

#and by more i mean looking at troi. #i'm kidding. #if i'm in love with her that's MY business #also i am currently fighting covid and my period as i type this so #if this is incomprehensible thats why #sam's thots #tng #tng lb

[bacchicly]

So I used my bullet journal this morning (after setting it up on my wanderings this weekend) and it felt good. Update after the cut. This is just a personal annoying thing. Includes reference to Gretchen Rubin's "Better than Before"

I don't have the "must put this notebook in the freezer to stop obsessing over it" I had when I first tried bullet journaling - nor am I being particularly ambitious in format but I am being more "regulated" than my last few attempts to "just make sure I have a notebook with me" which failed.

I also am using a new period tracker on my phone which is not perfect but seems simple enough and a bit more flexible and helpful than Fitbit period tracking. Again I am trying to be clear but minimal with the tool.

We'll see how this round goes. I am cautiously optimistic.

I also use audiobooks as a type of guided meditation and self reflection and have been re-listening to Gretchen Rubin's Better than Before. I don't love everything about her the book; and in particularly. find it triggering from a body positivity standpoint.

And, even though I am a champion of the idea that people and projects can't be perfect or do everything all at once, I find it problematic that she geberally mute on her privilege. I also find it challenging that she does not do more than wink at the potential impacts of culture, disability, neurodivergence, and poverty on an individual's effort to change behavior through habits.

However, the attention she pays to minutia and her attempts to be non-judgemental are helpful guides to working through some of my current challenges.

I am also about to take on more of a design project where I can impact organizational behaviors and habits at work and her clarity around how different strategies can work for different people is helpful.

Things have been hard. Really hard. In the last two weeks I have had more intrusive thoughts than I have in a long time - but I am trying to focus on the fact that I did what I could to care for myself and did better than I might have in the past. I have been fighting a cold (not COVID), as has my family, work has been a particular flavour of difficult, and my and my husband's challenges with budgeting and saving money have been in high relief as we try to get back to somewhere a bit less scary since our encounter with cheerleading, illness in our extended family, caring for a senior cat, and our impulses to tip extra big and rely on a lot of take out and dining in restaurants as a way to deal with COVID are coming home to roost.

Anyways...things are going a bit better. Yay!

Tomorrow will be tomorrow.

#bacchic dances #tw mention of intrusive thoughts

[purplesurveys]

1264

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube?  Oh man, I’m probably subscribed to over a hundred, if not 200. I’ve subscribed to channels relevant to interests I’ve had over the years, and since it’s not my habit to do spring cleaning on my feeds, the subscriptions have just keep piling up even if I no longer keep up with literally like 98% of them.

Do you like to go to the farmer's market?  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one yet. They aren’t very common here and the ones we do have are pricey and mostly inaccessible to the everyday consumer, I’m sure.

What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be?  I wouldn’t want any other color than white.

What's your favorite melon?  I don’t like fruits.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died?  Arlee. Technically my family mostly considered her as just Nina’s pet, but the sting was felt all the same when we learned she died.

When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with?  Yesterday, because it was Friday. Pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to get to the weekend so I can finally let go of work for a couple of days.

Name one person you've never had a fight with:  Andi. I think we’re both afraid of pissing the other off, which works out for us lol.

What are you currently listening to?  I can just hear the really loud whirring of my electric fan because it’s a grossly humid day today.

What would you rather have: cat or dog?  Dogs.

Who is your least favorite person in real life?  I have a lot of uncles I just don’t like.

Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really?  Technically, yeah. I will sometimes tune in to livestreams of lofi music on YouTube, but I do it to listen, not to watch. 

Does your house have security cameras?  No.

If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be?  I think I might dye it for a certain period of time, but I also think I would eventually reach the point where I’ll just accept it and slowly let go of the dye.

What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened?  I haven’t run into much bad service, but I’ll never forget how long my order and bill took for Mad Mark’s. I never really vowed per se to never go back there again and I definitely didn’t confront the staff, but I haven’t eaten there since that incident.

What soundtrack do you listen to the most?  Not a big soundtrack listener.

Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult?  Nah, they’re kept from us until now. The biggest one I’ve heard about was having a kleptomaniac in the family but we were never told who it is.

Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you?  Yeah, my dislike for fruits.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?  Clothes, I guess, like bucket hats. I don’t shop a lot and clothes aren’t a priority in my budget, so when I do pick out clothes, it has to be exactly what I want so that I don’t feel it was a waste of money.

What’s the strangest decorative object you own?  We have several quirky, disconnected decor in the living room from gifts we’ve acquired over the years. One object I can tell you about is the polar bear glass figurine we have on the coffee table.

What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now?  Dating around.

What’s been your proudest moment?  Managing to stay alive this year and turn my life around for the better when I thought there was no hope.

What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen?  Eyes Wide Shut, probably.

Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals?  I don’t think so. Like any animal...? I would find that quite odd, honestly. And I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if we weren’t already close .

Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts?  No, nothing set in stone. I do want to fly out to South Korea soon, though.

Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal?  I know a few people who are afraid of dogs.

Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer?  Yeah, Apple.

Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills?  Hayley Williams and Jin, especially when he’s belting; and I don’t listen to her much, but I find that Billie Eilish has a unique voice that sounds really nice.

And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand?  Selena Gomez for some of her songs, Meghan Trainor for most of her songs.

Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf?  No.

Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today?  Sure.

Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? My aunt sent over this gigantic-ass slab of salmon that I can’t wait to eat as sashimi. I already had a few pieces last night and it was hea ven ly.

Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately?  Hmm, I don’t think so. I know my coworker Dev got into a relationship a few weeks ago but it fizzled out as soon as it started because the guy was shitty.

If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it?  Only on the emotional side; I rarely get physical symptoms. I usually feel down or emotionally heavy a few days before my period.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to?  No, I don’t have any tattoos. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?  Hmm, like last night. I wanted to stay up to maximize the weekend, buuuut I decided against it and slept instead since I had been up since 2 in the morning.

When was the last time you did something on a whim?  Two weeks ago when I impulsively dropped a thousand bucks to have cheese tarts delivered to Angela and Reena, hahaha.

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you?  My mom, grandma, and one of my aunts were the main people who raised me. Dad works overseas, so he was never at home much.

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week?  No, I wouldn’t do that.

Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’  Mik tried to pair me with one of his friends just days before I finally implied on social media that I was no longer in a relationship. It was a cool ego boost but I declined, since my emotions were still super turbulent then. Andi tried to initiate sex with me once too, but I also declined.

What is your card game of choice?  I hate card games; I can never seem to understand them lmao, though that’s really more of a me problem than anything else.

What is your favourite books series?  Growing up, I really loved the Septimus Heap series. But the thing about it was that I got into it while the series was still ongoing; and with how bad my attention span is, I always forgot the events/plot whenever the newest book came out. 

So whenever that happened I had to read the entire series from Book 1; eventually the number of books I had to reread/revisit became too many (it was a seven-part series) and I simply just lost the time to read and I never got to know about the conclusion.

Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Street names – more precise. Landmarks to me can be pretty subjective – a green building might look blue to me, and I could just end up being lost.

Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Sure.

What was your favourite gym class moment?  If I genuinely like or already play the sport that was being taught. That’s why PE table tennis was a lot of fun for me.

Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?  I’ve never been on one but I imagine they are fun, yeah.

Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  That’s not a tradition here.

Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?  No. I was too young for Scooby-Doo in a sense that I do remember watching the movies as a 3/4 year old as they were kept on in the background at home, but I didn’t get any of the plots/didn’t really appreciate the films.

Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?  Sometimes, yeah. If the fall looked nasty I would obviously be concerned.

Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?  Honestly, only one of my grandparents would be the type to do this but he’s been dead for six years now. It’s a big shame he passed before I could bond with him the way I had always wanted to. My three other grandparents are either too closed off or too quiet to share stories from their youth.

Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, nothing more than a celebrity crush.

If so... what does his/her name begin with? 

What attracts you to them? 

Do they know that you like them? 

If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? 

Name two people that you miss:  Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever seen Titanic?  More times than I can count. I’m sure I memorize like 80% of the script, too.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?  No. I’m not so sure if I’ve seen dolphins, either. Maybe I have? Or maybe I’m confusing it with whales...idrk.

When was the last time you had a stomachache?  Wednesday.

What's going to bed early for you?  11 PM or midnight.

Do you want to have a big family in the future?  I used to, but I don’t think that’s the future I want anymore. One or two kids should be okay.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush?  Technically speaking, an orgasm, I guess?? Lmao idk

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie?  I don’t think I have one.

Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have?  Yeah, I’m fully dosed. Sinovac.

If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects?  I was suuuuuuper tired right after my first dose and I wanted to be knocked the fuck out, but I went right back to work after the shot because I am allergic to filing leaves hahaha. Second dose went smoothly.

What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself?  A bucket hat or maybe one of the Fila x BTS shirts because the collection is actually quite cute!

What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful?  I join Facebook groups to be entertained, not because I actively look for advice.

Do you like your butt? Why or why not?  Yeah. It...has a good form hahahahahaha.

Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?  Yes, a few years ago I went to a food park with my ex-girlfriend. I was already not feeling my best that day to begin with, so having to see an old woman stare daggers at us for what felt like years really stung. I felt small under her look and almost cried, but in the end I felt angry that I momentarily felt shame about my relationship. I decided to just piss the woman off on purpose and do PDA right in front of her.

Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two dogs at present and I know they make me extremely happy.

Who was the last person you went on a date with?  Gabie.

Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?  No. The first and only time I was hospitalized (other than being birthed), I was about 12, I think.

What’s your favorite way to curl your hair?  I don’t do that. I rarely style my hair.

At what age did you start swearing?  I was 11.

What is something you physically can’t do?  Ride a bike.

What do like better, apples or oranges?  I don’t like any fruits; but in terms of flavored stuff, I like orange-flavored food, especially chewy candy, slightly more.

Around the holidays, do you hope for snow?  Well, no.

What are your top two favorite bands?  Paramore and Against Me!

How many people do you 100% trust?  There are a handful. I generally trust easily just because I like to believe all people are kind and loyal – but I can also take it away in the snap of a finger.

Do you care what others think about you?  Not so much.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?  Sure.

Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger?  Yeah but just super super faint memories. It wasn’t one of my main shows.

Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license?  I don’t.

Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat?  I doubt it. I could try, but I think I’d get cranky and start looking for meat way earlier than I would like to admit.

Have you ever had a rolling backpack?  Yup, if you mean a stroller. I think I’ve answered this on a previous survey.

Did you make any money today?  No, because it’s a weekend. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from?  Nothing dramatically high. I’ve had acrophobia-themed nightmares in the past, so even though I don’t actually have a fear of heights, the idea of jumping from a high place still makes me antsy.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river?  Not that I can recall.

What was the last souvenir someone got you?  I dunno if it counts but Andi bought merch from the AEW shop but made sure to also get a CM Punk sticker set for me :(

Do you have a favorite remix of a song?  Remixes have never been my thing. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument?  Piano.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies?  Yeah they can definitely affect the level of appreciation I hold towards a film. For instance, if I genuinely enjoyed a movie only to find out it has average to bad reviews, it invites me to think more critically about the movie.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)?  No.

If you had $500,000, what would you do with it?  Give half to my parents and let them do whatever they wish it. With the remaining P12,500,000, I’d probably get myself my own condo and have it fully furnished, then get braces, then get a new phone and laptop. I’ll have a bunch of money still left, I’m pretty sure – the rest of it I’ll save.

Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid?  No. I mean, I have honestly no clue what’s going on in her life now, but I know she doesn’t want kids so this is very unlikely.

"First loves are never really over." Is this true for you?  It’s true in a sense that she left me a lot of trauma and self-esteem issues that will irrevocably always be a part of me now even though I’ve worked hard to resolved most of them by myself.

Did you like Michael Jackson before he died?  Yes, because he has always been my favorite singer’s role model.

What are some things that would make you break up with someone?  I don’t know how to answer this question, honestly. All the red flags were thrown and tossed and slapped into my face and down my throat for six years yet I never left. I don’t actually know what my limits are, and I believe it’s because my coping mechanism has to just accept things and suck them up no matter how bad they get. That’s what I’m trying to change for myself now.

What was the worst breakup you've ever had?  I’ve had two breakups with the same person, and the second one was worse.

#survey #surveys

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #303

“if i can’t be loved, then i’ll be hated”

What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Candy corn or conversation hearts? They're both gross, don't make me pick between garbage. Do you own a lot of earrings? Not really after I weeded them out before moving. What did your backpack in high school look like? I dare say I had the dopest backpack of them all. It looked like a massive Ouija board, and the zipper was the planchet (sp?). Have you ever been to a rave? Nah. What is your favorite art medium? I have a particular fondness of oil paintings. They tend to look so smooth, and you can achieve incredible realism with them. How far away is the nearest hospital from you? Not even five minutes, I think. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My mom. What is your favorite car color? Pink, duh. How did you learn to type? We actually had a class specifically for typing in middle school. What style of wedding dress do you want? I don't have that set in stone yet, but I really do love ballgown dresses with long trains as well as a-lines with a moderate train. I love a lot, except really for mermaid dresses. Do you fit into any stereotype, or are you non-stereotypical? I don't know if I fit perfectly into any and really don't care. Would you want your first child to have your hair color? ???? I don't care about their hair lol?????? It would depend on the hypothetical father, in which case I'd probably find it cute, but this is so, so unimportant. Do you enjoy writing in cursive? Yeah, it just feels good and flowy to me. What is your favorite hair color? Natural? Probably blonde with natural darker undertones throughout. I like blonde hair because it's far easier to dye, haha. Now, if we're including DYED hair, rose gold or pastel pink is *chefs kiss* What is your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue, probz. Would you put your birthday on a different day if you could? Nah, it's fine where it is. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Valentine's. Do you vent on social media a lot? NOOOOOOOO. I barely post ANYTHING about myself on social media because I feel like I'm being annoying, self-absorbed, find anything I do actually interesting, or don't want people to think I'm a whiner. All I ever really do on social media is share or reblog funny shit, things I love, stuff I find relatable or inspirational, educational, important for whatever reason, etc... Do you have abusive parents? I am very thankful to say no. Is your house haunted? Doesn't seem like it. What's your favorite thing to watch on YouTube? I'm in a real WoW-related phase lately... Watching my favorite streamers, gold farming guides, and other various aspects of the game. What are five health problems that you have? I talk about the mental issues enough, so I guess I'll talk about physical stuff here. Uhhh I have very low blood pressure (it's a med side effect), I have extremely weak legs following muscle atrophy, I have bad tremors, especially in my hands (amplified by medication once again), maybe TMI but we're adults here and it's a legit issue that I have chronic and severe conspitation, aaaand then of course I have hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) to a fucking outrageous and also humiliating degree. Ooooonce again as a prescription side effect. This answer made meds sound kinda bad, I know, but really, I'd rather have the will to live and just have to deal with these than want to die everyday and not. Do you have surgery coming up? No, let's keep it that way until I lose enough weight and when I am 110% getting loose skin removal. Which family member(s) do you look the most like? My sisters, ig. People say my mom also, but I honestly don't see it. Have you ever cried while watching a YouTube video? Yeah, usually just in let's plays, but it's happened for other reasons. Are you missing a website that just shut down? Nah, none that I know of. NO. FUCKING WAIT. So, when my laptop was fixed, a LOT of shit was wiped from it, and that included all of my goddamn Lightroom editing presets. The site they were from no longer exists, so I had to use a different, pretty sub-par one to install at least a few because it helps me get a start on editing the photograph and leaning towards the "vibe" I want before spending like 15+ minutes tuning it myself. Would you be a barefoot bride? No. Which would you rather name your daughter: Eliana, Echo, Emerald, or Ellery? Ohhh, I like these. I think I prefer "Eliana," but "Echo" is a close second. "Ellery" is nice, but it sounds too much like "celery" to name my kid that lmao. Which would you rather name your son: Maverick, Matthew, or Moses? Ugh, none, honestly. But "Matthew" wins. When was the last time you gave a speech? Like a *legit" speech? Probably not since uhhh... I guess when I argued my disability case at court? Does that even count? Have you ever been in a stampede? Well, never seen this'n in a survey before, so good job, lol. No. If you were a fairy, what color would you like your wings to be? It would depend on what I wore, really. And my hair. But probably light pink. Would you rather name your son Storm, Skylar, Sorin, or Solomon? "Sorin." "Skylar" is SO Southern, and "Solomon" sounds like the creepy kid all his classmates avoid and I ain't putting my kid through that. Did you read a devotional this morning? Not my jam. Would you rather be named Arizona, Alaska, Cali, or Georgia? Hm... "Alaska" is actually kinda cool???? And I'm white as fuck so lol????? I wouldn't mind to nickname of "Ally," anyway. Are you repulsed by ugly reptiles? lololol bro get out Did all your friends know about your first crush or was it a secret? I was definitely secretive and shy about it when I first started getting crushes. Do you ever feel insecure about going out without makeup? I feel insecure either way, so... How many different natural hair colors are there in your immediate family? So, this is a hard question to answer. My mom was born with brown hair, but it darkened to almost black; only her daughter Katie inherited that. By some genetic magic, Dad had blond hair as a kid, but it also turned black. Like... how?????? I was born with dirty blonde hair like him, and mine turned an average brown with age. My immediate sisters have always had brown hair. What is your favorite online game? World of Warcraft is ballin'. Would you ever want to be famous and sign autographs? Ha, the idea of signing autographs is awful... I can't physically write very long without my carpal tunnel flaring up. Do you like your shirt to be loose or tight? LOOSE. Especially as a bigger person, tight shirts are just really uncomfortable. What is your favorite Spanish name? I don't know nearly enough to answer this. Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? I think Asia is, in general, more interesting and prettier as a whole, but I guess I'm drawn to European culture being more like my own and there are specific locations I'm interested in, like Germany or Scotland. So to answer the question, I guess Europe wins. Are there any Asians in your family? I don't believe so. Have you ever had colored braces? Haha yeah, I did that when I had them. Do you take birth control pills? Yes, just for period cramps. Without them, they can be immobilizing for me. If you live in the USA: do you feel free and safe? Ha, no. Well, not *entirely*. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? I was recovering from the stomach virus, if that counts. As in I still got sick the day before and felt iffy on my actual bday. 17th, I think? Is talking about your past painful for you? Yes. Are you a member of any support groups online? I'm a member of The Mighty site, if that counts. When I'm feeling very, very sound of mind and helpful without all the negativity being a detriment to myself, I do like going on there and trying to help or comfort people. Have you ever called a suicide hotline? Yes, and the line was busy, and that's when I decided I was a goner. Do you ever fantasize about revenge? I uhhhhh... sometimes. What's a movie you would recommend to someone who never watches movies? Ohhh, that's hard. I don't really watch movies either, and I'm trying to think of one that essentially anyone would like, so hm. Oh, Coco is absolutely a possibility. That movie touched me so, so deeply and is high on my favorites list. It's impossible to not feel the emotions. Do you want to have grandkids? Hell, I don't want kids. Do you want to be an aunt or uncle? I already am one, and I love being an aunt. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I don't remember their names or characters in general. Did you make a lot of home videos growing up? I mean *I* didn't, but Mom filmed quite a few. Do you enjoy babysitting? NO. What's an unpopular opinion that you have? Avoiding some political ones, uhhhh. OH. HERE'S ONE. THE SCENE AESTHETIC IS FUCKING CUTE AND NOT CRINGEY AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ABOUT IT. Are you attracted to the opposite gender, same gender, or both? Both are A+. Was your first crush on someone of the same gender or opposite? Opposite. As a kid, I didn't even fathom the concept that women could date women. What is something you'll never eat again? Why? Brussel sprouts. Fucking disgusting. What is currently happening that is scaring you? Besides the very obvious answer of "Covid," I worry about my mom a lot. She's so weakened after all the chemo and meds and can do literally less than I can without heavily breathing and sweating. I just worry a lot that cancer will return sooner than we hope; I don't want it to EVER come back, but doctors say it is very, very likely at one point or another because she was so very close to Stage 4. What would be your personal hell? Being completely and entirely isolated forever while somewhere hot and humid, lol. And play one of my trigger songs on repeat eternally. What made the "weird kid" at your school weird? There was this poor guy named Alfred that was VERY clearly depressed out of his mind, and I heard him speak maybe once through all of high school, and the entire class couldn't believe it. He always sat way in the back and never smiled. I wonder how he is nowadays. What is a word you personally find offensive? "Retarded" personally offends me the most when misused and spoken as an insult. What instantly puts you to sleep? Now that is HARD to do; I have a ridiculously hard time going to sleep. The easiest way though would probably be me being drained from an emotional breakdown. That is so exhausting that I'm capable of crashing pretty fast and hard. What song is in a language you don't speak, but you love it anyway? I adore Rammstein, so there's plenty. I'll probably say "Donaukinder" is their best. What is something you would like to do if you weren’t judged for doing it? I keep that I RP a complete secret in my "real" life for this reason unless it's like, pried out of me. What's a movie you think everyone should watch? Why that one? Johnny Got His Gun. See how goddamn disgusting war is. What was the most unexpected good thing that's ever happened to you? Ha, realizing I was bisexual after once being homophobic. What is the funniest fact you know? Oh man, I know a lot of random trivia shit, really, so it's hard to say. Maybe that quokkas throw their offspring at predators to distract and escape from them... As awful as that is, c'mon, you gotta admit it's funny and shocking with just how adorable they are. What was your 'mic drop' moment? Oh, I don't know. Possibly when I publicly came out as bi on Facebook and made it abundantly clear that I gave no shits about some homophobic friends and family & I was beyond willing to let anyone's ass go over it. What's the kindest way a stranger has treated you? I remember as a kid at McDonald's, the woman in front of our car paid for our food; apparently seeing a mom, dad, and three kids in a van was enough that she wanted to just be kind and give us a smile. We have no idea who she was, never saw her face or anything, she was just a sweet woman. What is the biggest design flaw of your body? Okay, I'm going to let go of all hatred for my body weight-wise and just think of this as from a strictly natural design perspective, in which case I'd say my toes are too small. What age are you afraid of turning and why? 30, because I'm terrified of getting there and seeing I've possibly gone nowhere. What is the strangest thing you have ever felt? I'm keeping this question in just because I think there could be some interesting answers for others, but I'm witholding my answer because nobody wants or needs to know lmao. What makes someone immediately unlikable? Acting better than others and belittling. Who's a villain you sympathize with and why? D A R K I P L I E R because of his origins and overall purpose and just simply existing. What is something you regret to NOT have done? I have this oddly weird regret of not going like, all-all the way with He Who Shall Not Be Named????? Idk why though????? Considering I loved him way too much and I was a reckless and impulsive person who probably at some point would have wound up accidentally pregs????? What a fuckin trip that woulda been. What movie changed your life for the better? None have really "changed my life." What book you think should be directed as a film? Oh, idk. Most I can think of have been. Of all the decades you've lived in, which one have you liked best? The 2000s, probably. A carefree kid. How are you doing today? I'm exhausted. While out with Mom and my sisters yesterday, we got behind a van whose driver was obviously drunk or high off his goddamn ass, and he was swerving EVERYWHERE, nearly shoving so many cars off the road. Mom called 911 to get in contact with highway patrol to report his dumb fucking ass in. I was having an absolute panic attack and cried quietly like the entire 45 or so minute drive home. I was just so, so upset because this is why I don't fucking drive, and I felt like I'd made my sister (who was driving) mad because she had to firmly tell me I had to calm down (I was hyperventilating and talking to myself to try to calm down) if she was going to focus and keep us safe. She later ensured me she wasn't mad, but I still wasn't the same the entire rest of the day. Anyway, I slept hard last night but had two nightmares, so I'm still really tired today. I'm trying to keep myself really distracted. What's something your relatives don't know about you? A whole lot really, considering beyond my very immediate family, I see almost nobody because they live many states away. What's something your parents did, which you have sworn never to do? Mom would spank us or slap an arm pretty hard if my sisters or I misbehaved or "disrespected" her by "talking back." I'm not having kids, but I would never, ever, ever, put my hands on them in any way that isn't loving. You do not teach children via inflicting fear. I also have this probably overly strong aversion to beer because that's what Dad always drank as an alcoholic. I'll probably never try it, not that I really want to because it smells awful. What's the most annoying thing your pet does? I feel like "annoying" is the wrong word for this, but Roman (my cat) can be incredibly demanding of attention and to lie on me when I'm on the laptop in bed, and sometimes I just want space and be able to clearly see the screen, haha. He will legit meow like a baby and gently swat my arm sometimes if I try to keep him back. Heeee usually gets his way. As for Venus (snek), she does nothing "annoying" either, but rather a bit concerning to a snake mom: she is usually very slow to find and strike her food. I feed her frozen/thawed mice, and she will first slither around her entire cage, tongue flicking and clearly looking for her food, even though I always place it atop the same spot on her hide, and she can have her head RIGHT beside it and still do nothing. She ultimately generally eats (as a ball python though, she's a picky eater and will occasionally reject a meal), but I of course wonder why she's odd about dinnertime... As a champagne, she does have the notorious "spider gene" in her, which can cause neurological issues, but idk if something like this could be related.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''rise rebel resist'' by otep

[eldritchsurveys]

1090.

Can you say you are fully happy right now? >> Some surveys have such standard and generic questions that I can’t rightly tell if I’ve already taken it. This is one of those, and because it’s so long I’m hoping to god I don’t get to the middle of it and be like “oh. I did this literally last week” lmao. Fingers crossed. I don’t know what “fully happy” means. I took my walk like I promised myself, and I made an offering and am now drinking it (it’s delicious, a dessert stout called Big Luscious), so I’m on track for how I wanted my day to go. And I’m not triggered or having any kind of episode, so I’m okay there. Which means I am currently stable, which is a great place to be (considering the alternatives).

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? >> It’s possible, I guess.

Is there someone who stopped talking to you for no reason? >> I mean, probably, at some point. Ghosting is a common thing these days, for some reason.

Did you ever get called horrible names like (whore, skank, bitch)? >> Sure.

Where did you sleep last night? >> In my bed.

Ever slow danced with anyone? >> Yes, outworld and Inworld. Inworld is obviously the best, though. ~

Ever cried in public? >> Yes. Privacy and solitude was a rarity and a luxury for most of my life, so I had no real choice.

Ever feel safe in someone’s arms? >> Inworld, yes. I don’t know what that’s like outworld.

What would you do if you were pregnant? >> Die.

Are you afraid of letting anyone in? >> So, I have disordered attachment, am a product of CEN and CSA, and have resultant CPTSD. You do the math. (*makes some kind of joke about how it’s probably gonna be algebra because of all the acronyms--*)

Do you like cuddling? >> I love it Inworld. It basically gets me through everything. I would basically remain glued to Can Calah at all times if I could (and on some bad days, I do). Outworld is a completely different story because of the things mentioned just above.

Ever cry in school? >> I’m sure I have.

Who is the last person to send you a message on facebook? >> Probably Casey, like a month and a half ago.

Do you look decent when you wake up? >> Why am I paying attention to how I look when I wake up? I’m in bed. Who the fuck am I performing for? -___-’

Have you ever been given roses? >> No.

Had a long distance relationship? >> Yes.

Does it bother you when people never answer their cell phones? >> Why would that bother me? I am also one of those people. Oh, I guess you mean, like... I call a person, they never answer... hah, as if I would ever call a person. This is totally outside my experience.

Do you care what happens in politics/your government? >> I mean... here’s the thing. I care in the sense that I’m not totally disconnected from the effects of politics on people like me. But the realm of politics, specifically, is so alien to me that I have no idea what to do about it except halfheartedly vote and hope for the best? I don’t know how much more I’m supposed to care. I hate the political system, period, I want nothing to do with it. People assume that anyone that feels that way must be privileged and unaffected by politics, but I guess their shortsightedness about how different people can experience and feel about things is not my problem.

Ever been called babe/baby? >> Sparrow says “babe”.

Have you ever witnessed someone else engaging in a sexual act (not necessarily sex)? >> Yes.

Where did you get drunk last? >> I don’t remember. I don’t get drunk anymore, I just like to drink a beverage and enjoy the taste and slight buzz. Like right now, it’ll probably take me the next hour or two to finish this stout, but that’s the way I like to drink. Slowly and comfortably.

What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? >> I’m married to her.

If someone went through your pictures, would they find a dirty one? >> Nope. The only time I ever took nudes was just for the fun of it, not to be sexual or anything. Just enjoying having a human body (god, I wish that were me now...). But that was a long time ago and none of those photos are available anywhere anymore.

Do you want to see anyone right now? >> No.

Have you ever fell asleep in someone’s arms? >> Inworld, yes. Outworld, no.

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night? >> About a half-hour after laying down, usually. Some nights a little longer, but then I just catch up on my reading.

How many pillows are on your bed >> Two.

When’s the last time you cried? >> Yesterday.

Is it cute when a guy buys you flowers? >> I mean, I’d require more context than that. If I’m friends with a guy and he’s like “I saw these flowers and thought of you!” that’d be adorable. I do love flowers, thanks for thinking of me! Also, I’ll probably use them as an offering, so double win. If some random guy sent me flowers, I’d be a bit disturbed and put-off.

Will things change in the next month? >> I mean, yes. That’s how it works.

How did you do on the last test you took? >> ---

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? >> I mean, yeah. Are you afraid to grow up? >> ---

Are you busy tomorrow? >> Probably not, unless something really unpredictable and abnormal happens. I might be plenty busy playing FFXIV, though, considering I can’t today because it’s patch day.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? >> It’s an undershirt, idk how long I’ve had it.

Do you give out second chances way too easily? >> Er, I assume not? I’m not usually in this kind of situation.

Has anyone told you that you’re amazing? >> Yes.

How many black shirts do you own? >> Like 15. For reference, I own like 20 shirts total.

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? >> I don’t see why I wouldn’t be. A lot of weird and sudden shit would have to happen to change that.

How come you’re not going out with the person you like? >> ---

When you feel cold does eating warm food help you feel warm? >> I don’t know. I do feel warmer after eating, just in general, probably because of the blood moving around to start digestion.

Do you want to diet? >> No. No I fucking do not. Don’t even suggest that to me.

Are you unsure about your feelings for someone? >> I’m not unsure about my feelings for anyone. I know how I feel about people. It’s other people whose feelings are a complete mystery to me.

Who did you last hang out with? >> Sparrow, because we live together.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? >> I mean, obviously the money, since I can’t drive and don’t want to...

What song are you currently listening to? >> None.

Are you happy with your relationship? >> It’s fine.

Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? >> Other than a cigarette or weed?? So, like... crack???? I really couldn’t say. It’d be years ago.

Does anything on your body hurt? >> Not right now.

If the last person you kissed were calling you right now, would you answer? >> I would, because if she’s calling me, then it must be a real ass emergency. Or probably like an EMT using her phone to find an emergency contact. So yeah, I’d answer. One of the very rare times I’d answer my phone.

In the run of a week, how many times do you straighten your hair? >> ---

Are you mad at someone right now? >> Nope.

Last thing someone gave you? >> I don’t remember.

Who woke you up this morning? >> Just me, naturally.

Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? >> ---

What do you do in your spare time? >> All my time is "spare” time, by other people’s standards, so, uh...

Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? >> Just Can Calah. :B

Where is the last person you kissed? >> Inworld.

What was the last thing you ate? >> Veggie burger and chips, breakfast. I’ll probably grab some lunch and queue up a movie after this.

Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? >> ---

Do you remember the meanest thing the last person you kissed ever said to you? >> I don’t think she’s said anything particularly vicious to me. Just... kind of thoughtless things, I guess, earlier on.

What does your last outgoing text say? >> It was a link to a TikTok of a cute dog.

Have you ever been called prince/ princess? >> No.

Waiting for something? >> No. Well, the Dinnerly box, which is gonna get here eventually and which I’ll have to go downstairs to retrieve and then unpack.

Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? >> Yes.

What are you doing this weekend? >> I imagine the same things we do every other weekend in these COVID times.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? >> I imagine so.

Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? >> Yeah. Where is your biological father right now? >> ---

Where is the biggest scar on your body? >> Probably the one on my face. How late did you stay up last night? >> Not very. I think I went to sleep shortly after 11. Have you had your birthday this year yet? >> Yeah, in May. You had to kiss the last person you texted, would you? >> I mean, I have. What would you call your body type? >> I don’t want to call it anything. Are you a morning person? >> Yes. Have you ever been to Target? >> Yes, many times. Do you like iced coffee? >> It’s okay. When is the next time you’ll be at work? >> --- Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? >> Not that I can recall. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? >> Probably not. I take that kind of shit super fucking hard. Ever made a prank phone call? >> No. Does your mom vacuum early in the morning, when you’re sleeping? >> --- Have you ever been in a car accident? >> No.

Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? >> Yes.

Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? >> Physically? I assume not. Have you ever had stitches? >> Yes. Name a time when you had to be strong. >> Like... all the time? I don’t really know how to answer this. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? >> The first two, no, because my parents were not together. The third, yes. Have you ever lost someone close to death? if so, how many? >> Once. Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? >> No. Have you gone through a lot emotionally growing up? >> Obviously. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? >> I really would not want anyone to do that. Anyone that can disrespect the rules of their current relationship so flagrantly is going to disrespect me next. Also, that’s a messed up thing to do to the third party, too. Do you want to see someone this very minute? >> Not especially. Unless it’s D. :)

Are you happy with the way things are going? >> Some things, sure. Are you a forgiving person? >> Sometimes, I guess. It’s not what I’d call a character trait of mine, though. Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace? >> --- Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? >> --- Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: >> I cannot do that. Would you like to go back and change any part of your life? >> I mean, I don’t know. I am who I am, and that’s because of what I’ve experienced. I don’t know who I’d be otherwise, and I do like myself and I want to continue being myself, so... I have to take the bitter with the... less bitter. When will your next kiss be? >> I don’t know, whenever I want it to be. Last person you saw other than your family? >> --- Will tomorrow be better than today? >> I mean, today was pretty okay, so if tomorrow’s even better than today, boy howdy. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? >> No. What’s going through your mind right now? >> I’m just taking this survey, dude. That’s all I’m thinking about. When’s the last time you had fast food? >> Day before Thanksgiving. Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? >> I mean, I guess, if we have to put it that way. I just think that people are largely alike, and that if I can see the “shadow self” in me and everyone that is capable of many of the evils of the world, then I don’t see why I can’t also see the “higher self” in me and everyone that is capable of the beautiful things that people do for and with each other. These divisions always make me twitch a little because I think making it a dichotomy misses the real point a bit, but I haven’t run into better words for this yet so I’m doing my best with what I’ve got. Is it okay if you kiss people when you’re single? >> ... When was the last time you saw someone attractive? >> I mean, I can see Can Calah or King Crimson whenever I want. :B What was the first thing you did when you woke up? >> Probably reached for my phone to see what time it was. Think back eight months ago, were you single? >> No. What do you carry with you at all times? >> Myself :) Are you okay with the life you live? >> I’m okay with a lot of it. Way more okay with the lives I’ve had to lead before.

Do you have a Tattoo? >> Yes. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? >> I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought about it because I’ve been so focused on tattoos in recent times. I’d just rather have ink. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? >> Probably. Have you ever been to Disney World? >> No. If so, how many times have you been? >> --- Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? >> Meh. Like, here’s the thing -- even if I don’t capitalise proper nouns or use dialect grammar as opposed to “proper” (don’t get me started on the connotations of that term) grammar, I can still be understood. And that’s the whole fucking point. I use the social standard for grammar and capitalisation when it’s necessary, and for some reason I’ve been taking surveys with the social standard of English for so long that it’s a habit by now, but I’m not obsessed with it. I love being able to code-switch and I love using vernacular and I love “Internet dialect/grammar” and all of that. Language in all its forms, unrestrained, is just so. fucking. cool. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? >> Sure, I like the orderly origami-like process of wrapping. Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? >> No, it’s in Sparrow’s (bigger) room. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? >> I enjoy big dinners and small dinners. I assume by “big” you mean “lots of food”, not... “big” as in “lots of people”, because that I do not enjoy. Is your vision good? >> Yes. Is your present hair color, natural? >> Yes. What was the last thing you ordered online? >> A crystal. Fuck, that reminds me, I gotta poke around on Etsy for some stocking stuffer type gifts.   Have you ever worn color contacts? >> Yes, quite often back in the day. If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? >> Almost nine years or something, idk. I’m bad at time math. Where are your parents as of now? >> --- Do you follow a certain religion? >> No. Do you have any family members who live out of town? >> --- Do you consider yourself short? >> Not really. What room are you in? >> Mine. Do you listen to any country music? >> Sure. Do you ever watch Lifetime? >> No. I don’t have cable, but I wouldn’t watch Lifetime even if I did. Would ever consider having children in the future? >> Probably not. Have you ever lived on a farm? >> No. Do both of your parents have jobs? >> --- If you had the chance to move to a completely different state, would you? >> Yes. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? >> Clean my house. IDK, lol. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? >> Oh, stuff. What food are you craving right now? >> I’m not craving anything, even though it’s lunchtime. I have no idea what I want to eat. ...Hmm, egg, rice, and roasted veggies sounds really good but idk if I want to make eggs right now... How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa? >> I never was told about him. I kind of vaguely knew he existed from just... cultural saturation, or whatever, but yeah. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? >> A lot. Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you’re sure they won’t tell? >> --- Would you ever get someone’s name tattooed on you? >> You know, every time I see this question I totally fucking forget that I already have a person’s name tattooed on me. My X-Files tattoo that matches with Sparrow’s says “scully, it’s me”. Scully is a name lmaoooo So, yeah, I guess the answer is yes.

Does your family have family picnics? >> --- If your doctor said you were pregnant, what would you say? >> “That’s not a funny joke, so please stop”, I mean, what else would I say? That’s literally impossible so the doctor must be trying to pull a funny. A really fucking bad one, too.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

[thetimeoftomorrow]

COVID19 FAQ/CLARIFICATION

(From Singapore's Ministry of Health: https://www.moh.gov.sg/covid-19/faqs)

[Relevant as of 27 March 2020]

Introduction

Hello everyone. Firstly I would like to inform you that I am from Singapore, and we are fighting alongside everyone against the Corona virus. Secondly, all the information I present will be taken directly from my country's government and the link has been provided above as I am not a medical student. Thirdly, please do take this pandemic seriously as it is NOT a laughing matter, and I hope that you keep calm and positive througout this situation.

What are Coronaviruses?

Coronaviruses (CoV) are a large family of viruses causing illnesses ranging from the common cold to pneumonia (a more severe lung infection). A new coronavirus strain has been identified in Wuhan, China. Coronavirus Disease 19 (COVID-19) has caused cases of severe pneumonia in China and cases have been exported to other countries and cities.

How does COVID-19 spread?

There is human-to-human transmission of COVID-19. For now, the evidence suggests spread is mostly via droplets. The virus is carried within droplets emitted from an infected person over a short distance, such as when the person coughs or sneezes. If these droplets come into contact with the eyes, nose or mouth of another person, directly or indirectly through hands that have come into contact with these droplets, the other person may become infected. Members of public are advised to remain vigilant and observe good personal hygiene practices.

What are the symptoms of COVID-19?

The symptoms of COVID-19 infection are similar to that of regular pneumonia. Typical symptoms include fever, cough and shortness of breath.

What is the treatment for COVID-19?

Supportive treatment is provided based on the patient’s clinical condition. No proven specific treatment or anti-viral drug for COVID-19 is currently available.

Is the disease deadly? How is it compared to SARS?

The situation is evolving and many characteristics of the virus and how it may affect people are still unclear. However, current information suggests COVID-19 can cause severe disease and death in 2% to 3% of people with the infection, especially among the elderly and those people with underlying health problems or compromised immune systems.

Who should wear a mask?  What kind of mask should I wear? 

For the general public who are not having any symptoms at all and are well, there is no requirement to wear a mask. 

As a good hygiene measure, people who are not well and have respiratory symptoms should wear a mask so that they do not spread any infection to other people. Anyone who has symptoms should see a doctor as soon as possible, to make sure that they remain well. 

In the case of COVID-19, we know that the infection is spread through droplets. Wearing a mask will protect other people when someone with respiratory symptoms coughs or sneezes, as the mask would trap those droplets and prevent those droplets from spreading and disseminating.

As such, a surgical mask is sufficient for this case and fulfils the important function of preventing a spread if worn properly. The mask should be changed if it gets soiled or stained.

Why do healthcare professionals use an N95 mask and don full personal protective equipment (PPE), including goggles, then?

When dealing with infectious diseases, healthcare workers are required to wear the personal protective equipment (PPE), including N95 and goggles, as they are in close contact with patients and their bodily fluids.

As such, the PPE is needed to create a barrier between healthcare workers and the infectious agents from the patients, and to reduce the risk of transmitting micro-organisms from healthcare workers to patient(s).

How long is the incubation period? If somebody travels to cities with confirmed cases, how many days of no-symptoms after the travel, will he/she then be considered clean and disease-free?

Data from cases in China suggests that the incubation period is around 14 days.

Therefore, travellers are advised to monitor their health closely for at least 2 weeks upon return to [home country]. You are advised to seek medical attention promptly if you feel unwell, and to also inform your doctor of your travel history.

Summary for COVID-19 FAQ

I have compiled the FAQ to be useful to an international audience so if you are a fellow Singaporean please head to the website and remain updated as often as possible. If you are NOT from Singapore, you may still check the link for relevant general information if it helps. Please note the relevancy of this information and stay up to date with the latest news.

COVID-19 Personal Experiences FAQ

(Circulated among Singaporean Citizens)

Introduction

I have compiled a list of relevant information that fellow Singaporeans have been sharing among themselves. I hope people would take the time to read these anecdotes to understand the gravity of the situation, and that it may help in your understanding of this virus. Please do also take the information with a pinch of salt as they have not been confirmed/checked by any authority.

Annecdote from a Singaporean Patient's Family

"Make no mistake. When loved ones are removed from your home by ambulance because the virus has hit them hard, you are not going to be able to follow them there, sit by their hospital bed and hold their hand. You are not going to be able to pop in at 7.00 pm for visiting hours. They are going to have no one other than exhausted and brave hospital staff to see them through days or weeks of barely breathing through a ventilator until they either die or recover. They are not going to be well enough to text you.

You are not going to be able to phone the ward to check in on them regularly (staff will be too busy for that). During that time, they will be completely alone, while you sit at home waiting to hear whether they have made it through.

Imagine that person is someone you love dearly. Because it's going to be a reality for many in the coming weeks.

And if that person in hospital happens to be you, going through that ordeal completely alone, it would be nothing less than terrifying.

Please stay home and only go out if absolutely necessary. Social distancing is imperative right now for your family and mine."

Day by Day Symptoms of COVID-19 from Patients

Day 1-3

Common Cold

Itchy throat

No fever, no fatigue & good eating & drinking seems normal.

Day 4

Painful throat, more itchy/scratchy. The body is weak, & seems intoxicated

Hoarseness (husky voice)

36.5° body temperature

Start to decrease appetite include not wanting to eat & drink water

Mild head pain/headache

Mild diarrhea

Day 5

Inflammation of the throat (You might see white dots or patches in the back of your throat-might be red & swollen). Hoarseness until you lose your voice

36.5°-36.7° body temperature

The body is weak (body malaise) and joint pain(the pain is like rheumatism or gout)

Day 6

37° body temperature (fever)

A dry cough (coughing without phlegm)

Painful throat while eating, worsens when you swallow & when you talk

Body malaise, nausea or recurrent vomiting

Mild breathing problems/shortness of breath

Hand & finger pains

Vomiting (throwing up) and diarrhea (watery bowel movements)

Day 7

High fever from 37.4°-37.8°

Persistent cough with phlegm

Headache/head pain along with diarrhea

Persistent diarrhea

Persistent vomiting

Day 8

Fever 38° above

Breathing problems/Shortness of breath

Persistent cough

Headache, more joint pain, that passes in the lower back like pain in the buttocks (lumbar strain)

Day 9

No relief at all

Fever is getting high temperature

Persistent cough with phlegm

Worsening shortness of breath

If you feel all these, please go to the nearest Hospital's for testing and medication. There is no need to be afraid of having checked on what is being felt to avoid the loss of life for no reason.

Summary

I would like to emphasise that this information is NOT checked by authorities so please do not panic unnecessarily. Please do not spread panic or quote this information without citing its lack of source. Remain calm, and please direct yourself to the nearest hospital/clinic if you are unwell. If that is unavailable to you in your country/state and you are sick, please socially distance yourself at home until the medical team's/hospitals call you in.

Concluding Statement

I understand that for some of you information, medical facilities/equipment, and perhaps even basic necessities (such as food/water/shelter) are unavailable, seeing as I am interacting with an international audience. However, I would like to implore you to stay calm while you treat this matter with the utmost seriousness. This is because anxiety among the people would only cause prices in goods to sky rocket, and you will only endanger people when the market starts bidding wars for things such as equipment and medicine.

So please, firstly do not conduct mass-purchase of anything unnecessarily as it would only result in an inflation in prices for important goods. An example would be chloroquine which is NOT a cure for COVID-19, as mass purchase will place/is placing people suffering from lupis and arthritis at a disadvantage. These patients need that medication, unlike some of us who don't even know if it works against COVID-19.

Seccondly, please do not treat social distancing as a joke. Lives are at stake, and this means any form of contact with the virus will infect your immune system. While travelling overseas might seem fun due to the low priced flight tickets or because of spring break, this virus will infect you and your loved ones if you do not take the necessary precaution. This means sharing of food, untensils, clothes et cetera should be avoided to prevent the virus from infecting others and yourself. Some of you might want to die, but others don't so please, mind their consent if you can't be bothered with yours.

Thirdly, (I do apologise if I sound distinctly more annoyed as I type this, seeing how humanity consistently tries my patience) the corona virus is not an excuse for you to be racist or classist. I repeat: the corona virus is not an excuse for you to be racist or classist. While the COVID-19 virus did originate from China, it is not the 'chinese virus' and it was not borne from skin tones or genetics. It was instead born from the unlucky evolution of bacteria/germs that China so happened to win said lottery for.

This is the country that is developing and making the ventilators you need to stay alive. This is the country that has developed a new technique to keep you breathing/blood circulating if you are unable to do so. This is the country that gave the world 42 days to prepare for an enslaught of cases. They have no reason to help you: the virus was not made by them and you are not their citizen. But they are helping, and the least you can do is to be kind. (And if anyone would like to argue I'd like to quote Wu Chuanpu of supply chain Vedeng on ventilators that "the expansion of the production line is very time-consuming and resources-intensive," and "also involves personnel training. It is too cumbersome.")

So please, do not judge, do not be prejudiced and for the love of god be kind. The world is suffering, and people are dying. This is not the time to be fooling around or placing other things as your priority, whether it be your job, your fun, or your god damn xenophobia.

The priority is containment and survival.

To rebuild humanity you need humanity to exist in the first place. Stop being stupid, selfish and a damn ass hole about it. The virus isn't picky about its victims. It isn't going to care how much money you have, what your skin colour is, or what your age is. We have to work together and fight the common enemy. So stop taking sides and pick this one, the one where everybody wins. Don't be a fucking wuss cowering in the face of this virus. Mankind is resourceful, you are resourceful! Focus on what you can do and not what you can't! Take action, even if it seems small, because the small ones definitely count.

Keep yourself safe, signal boost this for people in need of information, and let's fight hard! Cause I'm definitely welcoming 2021 with all you people on this weird blue site.

Hugs and kisses from the fucking little red dot in Asia bitches ♡

#covid19 #covidquarantine #coronavirus #coronapocalypse #covid19 FAQ #covid19 Singapore

[sirjustice160-blog]

Myrobimson

Magafuli sending folks he wants to be kebis gay, u poor and stupid, u gays, have sent the same sirjustice200 tumblr a/c to every nation on either my Facebook mcsleepy nelson or Instagram as well                  

come to my presence with ya dire stupidity, if that money specified on sirjustice158 tumblr a/c is withdrawn by me cause at dat time i will be in a possession of a gun. New padlocks and keys hard to imitate so resort to the above check them below

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch... 

Hamtuweza but its purely hunger

come to my presence with ya dire stupidity, if that money specified on sirjustice158 tumblr a/c is withdrawn by me cause at dat time i will be in a possession of a gun.

now talk, we still develop, u stupid and silly see my tumblr a/c sirjustice158 i have sent to every country 1 of the footballer in in national team either in Facebook or Instagram, check their walls. we still thevelop talking rudely, motherfucker

anything that makes u feel better increases longevity, like leaving some foods on the plate after eating, not eating like whole wheat products i.e chapati u have cooked discarding some in the dustbin, doggy and sit on an elevation (woman) type of sex as on bed facing each other but the irony is the missionary style, kinda, snatches some years off ya life span and many know not, this is done under sampling like Gallup opinion polls.

Following German Tricks that they are rich cause women take per-eminance more than men in-terms of economic building not knowing the truth hidden in the following tumblr a/c of this 1 of like getting money online. Friends they say such men country are good in combat not knowing now we got drones mounted with explosives and guns to do the same, i mean guard them so they are safe.

When u do like getting to a place daily or just sitting in ya own hse 4 decade without being bored, it means, kinda, u got no shame and of disturbance. People of sense can sit in a place 4 long, even in jobs.

A yellow imaginary ball flies as u see it in ya mind looking 4 a place to get to or enter as looking whereto heap indignities as you are new Christ if u show resilience in ya of opposing things or wanting things straight as helping people iit gets to ya making ya head big.

We have just known it, they r given weekly stipend of $10 if u r pro-kikuyu or blooded like luo and that’s why they got nothing to do saying they are guarding things so they got Russia blood as they have sent international students to investigate their to give them results its big land and of plenty, be ya self, make ya nation and stop playing others. The 2goinvoice name changed so though u can withdraw via M-pesa but not many times as the line ownership now is not more than 3 and they have changed the software being used to 1 which people know not including the name, so Safaricom withdraws from the office as much as they want to give these people this $ 10 and the covid apparatus huge sales, a small percentage also forms part of the weekly stipend still no shame disturbs ya with their kids and wanting ya food saying they r in bad shape thinking we know not of the above trickery of the day. What do they want from some1 even after being given the stipend,is what we wanna know b4 they are deemed useless to live and killed and that money they don’t want the people they disturb to get, only them alone dude- Nepotism of the highest caliber.

Songs should be placed on you-tube without the sound but just instrumental as another with the song but not the video placed, so to listen to both u open 2 tabs to start at the same time to get the music to make people discouraged and engage in other useful activities not just in cyber-nation and to protect copy rights even with videos.

Drinking barley changes ya mind, makes u have a strong sex appetite shortly after and draws women close to ya, if u partake such u risk going to hell fire as they send some1 to investigate the above if they see such occurrences thereby many r advised to take water guard drops cause as well it got the same feeling. Friends aint kidding as u disturb the hearts of many a woman with that feeling will be the  case that day or out of the above u enjoyed and never told ya friends on the same even on social media. Friends learn to share such with friends, might liberate them to liberate ya as well dude.

With ya eating less if u not taking u to break into peoples roadside business then where so we follow ya, and with kebi eating much b4 rushing to the cyber to write some of the content of this tumblr following that moves the world like innovation, then stop dude, we cant follow ya silly way dude, its to emulate kebis way cause with writing requires constant thinking which needs ample food. U sick and stupid, behaving as if wanting ya food or if u got even a left penny of cash in ya pocket which again if u spend, they start the below, kinda, they want to bite ya flesh, u glutton need to be eliminated of masai blood. U angry bustared dogs with no sense as have agreed to die so put on a no sense image to be forgiven at judgement they were insane, u aint insane but normal with all the buildings u build and the welded materials and winning cases at the ICC. Friends it will be more tolerable 4 sidion and tire than that city built on a hill at the judgement day, all most all inhabitants will find themselves in hell fire. Sycamore tree with Christ to bring reality home to ya, u wont get by dude.

The bible says all left when every nation has the capacity to build their own gadgets and make life necessities like soaps, toothpaste, salt or artificial food products, so they don’t import or export to burden the importing nation is just to eat but not 4 the lazy, meaning as much as u want. U want to reverse the bible 4 folks to eat less, who are u? A lazy braggart claiming he is u so he eats ya food without sense, that they r sending money to Build Tz they will benefit from shortly as oil will be discovers not knowing the alternator generator has overtaken the same. Where is the stone is the next question if u tolerate them, ugly people of no caliber. Stupid and insane, yet kebi is here with them. KB teachers then came to my presence if my coop bank Kenya or Equity got more than $10,000 and confirms secretly, at that time i will have a gun not now that it aint credited, i will shoot ya pussy or testis or the hell out of u, want from ya not minding of how they thwarted ya past ways, I am a bad man, get it period even with college lecturers. U got a gun so don’t twist it that i said now i wanna take ya life but in times futurity when my a/c is credited. U bastered, gay and foolish, cut throat dogs. Very stupid teaching things they know not and now wanting ya food, let the devil cheats ya to get into my premise at that time, sure, i will shoot the hell out of ya like Lord delamere confusion people with a monkey as the excuse 4 shooting and he gets by at court judgement time. They send even folks to want to fight with me out of blues as pulling my trouser down to get to my manhood, these are judgement parts and will be used against ya.

I cant leave ya my food daily or give ya a dime, a male with 2 legs still alive, then u pride ya self and u got no agenda where this character will end. Stop dude, look 4 feasible solutions. With tumblr a/c if u don’t follow any a/c like the horse in the link below then u cant shift the a/c to delete

https://www.facebook.com/pg/PromovamRomaniaFrumosa/photos/?ref=page_internal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DXpOrvBuAA

Following u cant delete very many as they r following u daily even when what they want has been already made and it cant go that way as hay used to make gas and gadgets and fuels Russia where selling to them and they have known the same so will tantamount to war if they want to know much. They want people to fear them and live poor and even the foods they sell in Eu they have known how to make

Kebi saying with like a voice that mourned yesterday but now tired, Mochanda peana hiyo kitu, chini ya paja, kwenye surwali, wacha kukuwa ngumu, ambiye magdalin piya apeane hicho kitu. Wachakuwa mchoyo, haikulwi au ngoleka.

When no fuel or alternator generator has been made cheap, then stop telling 1 to still make it buy dude, as cheap as $ 50, then what do u want.

The starter comp like 4 kitchen in the link below can produce up-to 24-48 volts when rotated with 1.5 V motor with like 3 other gear to make it soft to rotate much bigger magnet to produce much power and take long as not to burden the circulation of current inside the motor wires to make the dry-cell weakens 1st

https://www.jumia.co.ke/epath-3pcs-130-small-dc-motor-with-2mm-shaft-diameter-and-1-to-6-volts-for-model-toys-9797714.html

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-1pcs-mini-micro-small-3-phase-wind-turbines-hand-alternator-generator-3v-24v-12v-new-18194523.html

And the current should be much to be reduced to constant 12 volts to power the motor so even if the battery is like 30% to die still it produces 12 to make it overstay like even in a 12 hour journey b4 u replenish another 1 or changed the charged 1. The solar charger controller scc technology can help us with that and if 4 household take like 6, 48 such comps to give ya 300 Volts which again can have a scc that maintains the power like at 100-200 volts still being used by home or office appliances as that alternator generator that harbors the 6 comps can use 1 single dry-cell 4 like the whole day and friends this a new happiness altogether as a new happening or unbelievable twist upon which people are waiting to see as the doubting thomases as Bartholomew with Christ resurrection, saying “Unless he sees the marks is when he can believe that is that simple boy who has come up with the invention described above“ KEVIN Dawa rather Dawe of Minnesota.

The wet cell of already made E-vehicles or motorbikes as generators can be made using the technology above, where such are placed inside and still the legacy of the above innovation still lingers on. like in the link below makes still not branching to a near by gas station but to a chain-store or shop to buy another battery to replace the finished 1 with a new reality

https://www.jumia.co.ke/catalog/?q=motorcycles+cell+ups+batteries

When u said u want to delete the information on the following of sirjustice200 tumblr a/c and u have learnt u cant do the same better stop dude and move to ya own nation as previously thought. What do u want do and eating corpse as 1 of ya plans also blocked dude. Get to ya nation, wasting ya time, kinda bro, u will not win better quit early or now, if u cant separate them, leave them dude cause they want u not to join them cause u aint equals but of wired characters period dude, You stupid Mr Hindu or White male man.

Mochanda molo cha palo en-kende emathunde otiye kole mabel, kolo okomiya time as am wasting his time ka luonge, osungolena, anbe adwanyise ni kolo angithunde mochung ekola kaka mekego,okoblo kelo na sunga meke. Kebi was cought saying that late last night and infact he is in puberty with swollen nipple, that condition as signs 4 puberty 4 males or we know not maybe cancer.

Their is a new gimmick in them, want ya food like every hr from dusk untill dawn claiming they want folks to leave them, what is that u want folks to leave u alone so develop that bad character, nothing dude, want to hack a/c as above and kill the owner which has been blocked, then resort to advising ya women to leave ya thinking they will win u as gay, which if proves futile organize ya ambush liaising with even dignitaries and foreign embassies or bringing their kids next to ya claiming u have refused to feed them, yet still they are in pride and mark u the father to that kid aint dead or lame, still alive and gets to town very early in the morning, if u refuse the same they claim u r, kinda, beating kids in secrecy which they investigate not sending hooligans with even panga or rod to ambush ya like above, which if u ran away they get into ya house and still cause at that time ya door is opened, they time ya or send kids to ya house to ransack to later tell criminals of ya property b4 they still again which if u refuse the same they say the above on kids, Folks sickening and tiring. They don’t want ya to eat but with them eating claiming they r investigating ya if u love others food or glutton or of bad eye as if they are very important eyeing the same above which has been blocked dude. Finally they belittle ya but want ya food to the point of creating a fight, the masai character in them, investigating ya spending manner b4 again they bring their kids to ya or want ya food but still with pride Kenya is better than USA or on that road. Folks some people get to other nations cause they hate early morning argument or talks heading nowhere which is peculiar in Kenya, tires u and makes u hungry, eating much food which they hate and since they know side effect of morning arguments as eating much or needs food to send u again their kids and want ya food and give u names that u r masai blooded so u should accommodate them as u see things on ya eye so u r Hindu blooded so u should as well accommodate them which if u refuse they again resort to being gay on ya or to the vices explained above. Another bad trait is they think u want what they are up-to or want, which if u love is intense jealousy but don’t like they became futile with ya as starts investigating ya and giving ya names, like with women now its crystal clear they will never get as the a/c cant be hacked and deleted as make it theirs officially to get pride. Very very bed in deed, very very bad character indeed but happy are we, its long overdue.

What they had not known 4 many centuries kebi knew at 9 years of age, how to make machines, the Negro in slavery, pissing u off, kinda and he brought even more that could not be invented in-case he died. Even made ya to protest as wants good life and come back to Africa so to learn the same and go back. U hold grudges out of that 1, u stupid braggart Mr Negro.

When the Embassy liaises with criminals to thwart 1 ambition in another nation then they should close down altogether cause to deliver what they were mandated to deliver proves futile but rather engages in dubious dirty activities at 1st they claimed they were championing 4 as well as the University sending hooligans to do the same to returned foreign student in their nation even monitoring their eating habits then it calls 4 immediate resignation of every official in that campus to pave way 4 new who knows ya not but USA wrecked, as the Government even sponsors terrorism via internet money they have refused to eliminate. Kinda, Good Girl gone bad Gimmick.

solar power yacht in the link beside

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=generator+made+in+nigeria+yacht+images&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjyosCtrZrpAhWjqHEKHbToCpYQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=632#imgrc=35LIQMFRqoB9AM                                                                      

Vomitting, tea sound as artificial tea has finished them, could have left u once u said Mr Hindu gets money off 2goinvoice- wacha, wide eye, wanatowa, casket the wsu and USA at large meaning. Now they want to put a price tag, that u can get out of the joining if u pay an extra amount cause they r poor and wants to reap huge, Mr Hindu. Wakatwe na panga or they could do the same to ya. Eying xmas as well with her accessories. The above photo is on Mcsleepy nelson Fb a/c like in the link below

https://www.facebook.com/mcsleepy.nelson.39/videos/137986677798049/?t=0

They don’t want people to live good as accessories that makes life livable are now made in any nation shown in following tumblr a/c of this a/c, where they don’t want this as well, when cash placed online, they if u pay on credit daily, weekly or monthly u wont escape paying as it will be automated payment from ya phone provided ya phone got money, so out of this they fear their will be no bad debts out of escape or-else in prison or death, folks click the link below 4 more explanation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mQJaXwGPlg

Gino, that thing, hiyo kitu, they keep on saying as will uplift them or benefit from yet they know not the bulk of these writing are gotten from the net proved by the links displayed they claim they understand not or gotten from other people Fb sent to my a/c.

Kebi en kijana ma mande silwal, lando kuonde moko to ratenge other sides, to eye okwang, but periodically if he frawns or his manhood pissed off it erects looking upside the sky with round ball on top, kinda, warning women to try it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf7XwQzS0s4

You can as well apply the many sensor placed in the head of the sicks in developed nation as make them as sensors and place them per equal cm on the roof top in case 1 lands on top of ya roof it sounds the alarm system to ring like in the link below.

https://www.masimo.ca/products/continuous/root/root-sedline/

Duvet bag holder the transparent 1 they locate people who have bought such dovet and ask them 4 the same where they place duvet gotten from houses as most houses are left without the door closed and from nursing homes place them inside the bag and sell them as new and many people in USA knows how to make the same themselves even in Mexico and do the same b4 shipping them to other 3rd world nations.

Kebi was given chance by moch as we hear, the next day while brushing his teeth, do u know what he was telling mochnda as moch says secretly within herself, this 1 i will leave soon if not drunk. “Dawa moch, dawa ya nini, Colgate, wapi dawa, where is the toothbrush drug, medicine in a disgusted voice as if the owner of the house“ moch though he had slight headache or was a gimmick wanted not to get off her house.

wet cell will be eliminated completely together with the acid, sorry to those who works in those company as it will be replaced with like rechargeable phone/ camera batteries or just dry cells as the starter comp where the motor rotating the magnet to produce power can use 1.5 volts dry-cell, it means the above folks, where it can be placed inside household appliances to power them eliminating as well sockets and wires to those switches cutting revenue 4 firms involved in that category of production or eliminates wires to bulb if bulbs as well are made that way, the same way eliminate gas and cooking gas as gas is no 1 Forex exchange for middle east nations and Norway, as well destroying the economies of those nations. Christ with king of the jew to cement the truth. A new phenomenon, instead of getting to the gas station to fill ya car u branch to a shop or a chain-store not to buy gas but if u don’t use rechargeable cell, u buy a dry-cell to power ya machine like with motorbikes, lorries, buses, tractors, speed boats, yatch or airplane. Its like killing many not just 2 written in books with 1 stone as u can place 2 battery as 1 being used another charged b4 an automated exchange is done, mfalme wa ya whodi to bring reality of Christ made to dies not ya own thinking in another version as Worker and vineyard brings down the reality, yath are trees u can hang wind turbine or medication as chwa/okwaju, tamarind seed with treating Aids, Malaya i will be fucking giving them cash, so spare me of ya daughters and leave me all alone to do my thing, my 1-2 step slowly and softly as smoothly.

North Kenya was abysinia while part of North Tz was Italy, the owner will crush them to wretched end once they have know the machine making techniques which they migrated only cause they knew not at that time and Abysinia inhabitants were Chinese. Now u got the Sourer technology get to the planet u came from away from ours which u disturb us with creating havoc each day and night, get to ya own planet dude, Or what do u want with us dude, like luo to Pluto and kikuyou to Uranus and kisii likewise and many other similar character tribes i know not bro

If they used to telling people they drunk the blood of Christ and made others into meat when was still young at taking blood sample in hospital 4 diagnosis and when he died to make them sharp and still are locating him alive in other folks to do the same cheating other tribes to follow suit which blindly they want to engage in like with Killing kebi and doing the same.   Question arises and is, still Kebi is all alive like a dime yet they have made much tremendous developments in coming up with the very very machines u claimed or deluded people that if they drink his blood and some selected few will amount with wings like u. So its a pure lies, cause out of the following tumblr a/c of this even many African nations have made original gadgets without doing the same. Mr White-man my advice to ya, take your lies to ya self or will tantamount to acts of war, aint kidding dude. Now they have made sure they have blocked kebi ways as antagonize him with the locals so in times futurity not find a good place 4 burial as his corpse fears being exhumed with all the security measures he has explained explicitly laid down regarding exhumation of graves, u now want him to get to ya nation to do the same and eat him together with ya stupid Negros as now coming to Kenya is cumbersome out of all explanation that Kenya is not all that rich 4 u to come here cause u have learnt her tactics of wanting to make gadgets and artificial food as well as chemicals, disinfectants and gas to sell to ya even with Xmas lighting. So eating his corpse to facilitate the lie below only can easily happen in USA cause he is a stranger their and as usual no1 gives a hoot even of their own death or graves in the developed nations

Click the link below to get 100% software made in Benin 4 smartphone

http://www.rfi.fr/fr/emission/20150621-wakpon-une-application-smartphone-100-made-in-benin

Buy Negro made smartphone in the link below or whirlpool home appliances

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=blue+advance+smartphones+images&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwibjLfbx5fpAhUKDxQKHWoBCn0QsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1024&bih=632  

Many such made drones like approaching bee or housefly in USA barracks fitted with guns and small detonators or grenade as bombs can finish the USA even in boot camps. Beatitude with Christ meaning and now made in Africa and the same African can make such anywhere. Even just a small made cylindrical plane controlled from the computer fitted with grenade launchers detonator at the mouth when directed to hit like a hard surface detonates and destroy the area and is dimmed a mini-missile and is now made right in Africa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfVR3luAMTk

https://techcrunch.com/2017/08/17/a-defense-company-put-a-machine-gun-on-a-drone/                                                                    

The alternator generators eliminates as well the below completely                  

https://www.tripplite.com/products/ups-buying-guide

If the earth is 16 km or in some parts 10 km, then instead of cremation hurl people down that hole to the outer space with a drone taking down photos so its not waited upon with another radar controlled drone for the reasons explained below

Lake Victoria unless reduced, if u got that picture u see the fire en-kindled on it stops as well as lake Trukana were expanded, if u fish on that water u risk going to hell or bathe and if you place or take a voyage on it and that’s why the whites left cause many fell in fire, if u eat neem tree and u place the deceased in ya mind u see them whether waiting in a bench or already in fire of safe outside. Lest u repent fervently. Lake cant be that shallow but but deep like Tanganyika, even fish from those lake if u eat u risk the same, eat from fish-ponds.

Uhuru and Raila and other transfiguring people 4 u, a panga cut, many, awaits ya in podium as i hear just like with the news anchor approaching people from either in-front or behind like in the song below with hand hell BMI machine, it will not go 4 long dude, though u manipulated me, yours also long gone and dead, now u got it kenya poor and dignitaries got no cash so even forcing poor folks with positions, kinda, silly not as previously thought. White blood cell counter machine is another sure way as well and see how it works in the links below as well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isaXqowHZuU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCHB4GCyufE

https://www.jumia.co.ke/handy-stitch-electric-hand-held-mini-sewing-machine-26776619.html

https://www.alibaba.com/showroom/hand+held+digital+bmi+machine.html?fsb=y&IndexArea=product_en&CatId=&SearchText=hand+held+digital+bmi+machine&isGalleryList=G

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCrOAQt-6ws

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMNyi0XVYpU

Exhumation laws can be incorporated, in that the decease pays that amount to a certain company, either once or instruct the bank to pay monthly from his opened a/c, as this also opens employment, where like in every 5-10 years the grave is exhumed to ensure the grave safety and the explained below like casket taking or corpse and his attire aint done b4 again the grave sealed waiting again 4 the same period to do the same thing in-regards to how many years the deceased has placed his will where even wireless alarm systems and cameras fixed from below the grave but above the casket under bright lights illuminate the upper part of the grave to ensure no exhumation or if so rapid steps are taken to thwart the motives, bring shame and reality in the society of the explained above, the lights can be many depending on the bulb life span so if 1 burns up another is lit automatically or wirelessly as well can be placed on radar i.e in computers like in Skype 4 public or as in live you-tube

Mini-weight measuring machine even for scrap metal pickers or the vendors in the link below

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Travel-weigh-Portable-digital-Luggage-Scale_1881820448.html?spm=a2700.7724857.normalList.110.4d9e2cdatvY9JF

Booster tall metallic poles if u leave all that large like in Australia or Beverly hills in Carli4nia then take like 500 watt wires with electricity that are invincible and cross on top in a linear way to thwart those using drones from another compound to settle on ya roof top or balcony at night when u know not to, kinda, rob or ambush ya.

Even on shoe u can make holes or on shirts, suits, jackets, trousers that u discard on the bottom tip parts, so not to fund illicit activities and make other dignitary stay in power out of that cause its crystal clear the money they r payed though huge, u owe it out b4 it gets in living in debts lest u resorts on other gimmicks like in the above. Like with shoes on the tongue like in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?q=parts+of+shoes&client=ms-google-coop&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=A3Oy_0FFk65iZM%253A%252C2bLgRANYR9J8fM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kTw07wRxrMY4s-dyNEyW9dXVjg2Jg&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwih1amhhZrpAhUs8uAKHZdwD4cQ_h0wAHoECAsQBA&biw=1024&bih=632#imgrc=A3Oy_0FFk65iZM:

Desist from buying meat products, go 4 the walking animal or bird as organize many people then u share but keeping in mind if u help in eating a walking animal which can be extinct soon, u can find ya self in hell. Even corpse can be cut into pieces and made into any meat sold in restaurants. Go 4 the 1 which 1 u know has taken blood sample i.e like from cattle neck or intestine of fish and gets into the room and makes b4 selling unto ya, even human plasma makes the same and u r qualified eating corpse or even sausages, the feces of the dead makes the same. Got and sheep parable to bring reality, the blood u see or ascertain as Malachi 4 comes handy to bring u reality dude, desist but its ya choice bro

Ice placed in dough gives u as well big planes, internet, decoder servers, computers, medical equipment as well as office appliances and military vehicles or glass bottles or vice versa or any product u see when u place such. Now i have given the police my Id b4 i replace another to give them cash they r tracing. Now find i who transfigures and withdraw that cash, stop disturbing me dude, u coasterians wanting free things on their side but on ya side cant help ya as runs away from ya, u got Jamaica blood and nice with prostitution if ya land is poor but if rich many will long to work 4 u and that’s the reverse dude. U white-man sympathizers to still oppress of ya color. And now he wants still say i wanna be a politician, u poor, want to bar me so i die here be buried in rural area where they can exhume my grave and eat me, u cannibals while in temperate lands can be buried next to the road in an expensive inside the city grave where such explained above are hard, that’s all dude, i know well ya plans. I will never or see me campaign but if u insist give me that position on a silver platter and u see as siren gas made this way dude, the next morning u will be all corpse so God place me in hell fire, cause i have warned ya prior and nothing can be more christian to cement my long term truth that i hate ya but rather tolarates ya, 4 how long will i say this absurdity. Must end dude!!!

In a big cylinder, u place hay inside with water or the dirty river water of Africa as River Nyando or Yala or Congo then seal it in an airtight manner then in the dark spit saliva many people on the big container sides and boom that gas formed whether methane or siren gas b4 transferring into other small containers. Christ with transfiguration to bring out reality like in the links below

https://www.alibaba.com/showroom/big+gas+cylinders.html?fsb=y&IndexArea=product_en&CatId=&SearchText=big+gas+cylinders&isGalleryList=G

Artificial fish is made with few or the fish intestine placed in ice flakes and many spit on the container that holds the above in the dark and boom the fish of ya type formed as much as with sugar and glucose. With detergents u place the detergent, chemicals, some few amount even with solid fat or applying oil using the same process as much as salt, it can as well be cold water same with finger lings, meat and most animal products as well as coin money and padlocks, bulbs or try with any product like in the above procedure. Even cereals and flour made that way, so they can bring about huge population, to make such and import and if u never know thats their supreme motive even with fuels made that way i.e ethanol, kerosene and car gas or cooking gas where such placed in big container or dirty flash sheet erosion water and the above gimmick done and boom ya gas type b4 transferred to tiny containers, even made with blood plasma of every animal as much as human mostly siren gas.

If truths wants to dawn about exhuming coffins, then lets us sample over 1000 graves in any part of the world mostly in cemetery and Africans buried in their rural homes, folks, i bet u will find the same and we can use, wireless camera to illuminate 4 folks to see the change in coffin or no coffin or parts of the corpse missing, so they know the same, so wanna bring violence so the truths sublime in war excuses as people exhumed the same 4 food as they are cannibal or sold the caskets cause at that time situations were hard. Inside the grave we can employ many lights that can be opened wirelessly in-case 1 burns to monitor the casket and those who can open to tamper with the same, it can harbor wireless camera with solar as described in other following tumblr a/c of this a/c period dude, to bring reality home.

Atuomo, owena, otuomokotugi, jowa said another passing by old woman. Ameachiwa wasee, anagong’a kungong’a

anyalo dhiye jela mang'eny donge,  owena anyono, steping on that thing like never b4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCS2mbIcbZw

When u wear the covid mask to make ya ears kitten like, it makes u not feel all that food appetite u used to when they were straight, the indictment with those people with such earlobes as their rapid anger so white-men want to capitalized on that to make people intermarry with such to bring such kids not to enjoy the delicious foods around esp E-Africa.

With the toilet described below, u can employ the combined harvester mouth to grind the fecal matter b4 pumping it into the sewer system to even not heap but to pump even 4 one person immediately while its not hollow where u aim the feces to fall to the grinder but have an enclosure, either automatic when u sit or in a push pull manner not to allow smell from below into the room. Like in the link below dude, the header

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=mouths+of+a+combined+harvester+tractor&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiZ-bfEkJXpAhXgA2MBHX8lDeIQsAR6BAgIEAE&biw=1024&bih=632#imgrc=FknKPA36S7ebOM

https://www.explainthatstuff.com/howcombineharvesterswork.html

The starter comps in the link below can be place 4 in a raw connected in a series connection to give 200 volts those of 48 volts while the (1) motor rotating the magnets on each either connected in parallel or series  or using a belt with 1 motor to rotate all the 3 other gears without a motor but with magnet on top of those other 3 gears, instead of heaping them (starter comp) above each other like described in the link below or u can use 4 such motors as the former. Just like in the diagram below on wood instead, u tell the devil just like with the alternator generator that was drawn in Kevinelson mondy Facebook a/c which many tried to make to bring confusion in town but now on shops as factory made as alternator generator or no fuel generator. History repeats itself dude and the same indictment we see has started falling on the above. Claimers to be of their tribe to benefit but luckily enough the comp is china made

https://www.google.com/search?q=photos+of+an+engine+head+with+the+cylindrical+pistons&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjJy7GRkZXpAhVWwIUKHRmbDKQQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=photos+of+an+engine+head+with+the+cylindrical+pistons&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1CERliceGC8emgBcAB4AIABsgKIAbwgkgEIMC4xMi43LjGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZw&sclient=img&ei=UGGtXsnjNdaAlwSZtrKgCg&bih=632&biw=1024&client=ms-google-coop#imgrc=62AiHPwJeE5MOM

https://www.jumia.co.ke/epath-3pcs-130-small-dc-motor-with-2mm-shaft-diameter-and-1-to-6-volts-for-model-toys-9797714.html

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-1pcs-mini-micro-small-3-phase-wind-turbines-hand-alternator-generator-3v-24v-12v-new-18194523.html

https://www.jumia.co.ke/catalog/?q=magnetic+rods

https://www.jumia.co.ke/robot-mini-bluetooth-wireless-speakers-fmmemorycardusb-25615476.html

The above can even use phone battery like in the links below or the photocopier belt system

https://www.google.com/search?q=mini%20photocopier%20belt%20systemimages&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg%3ACTXdvnNvcWCdImCQr_1v41iwKbbSMlQfltzEW_1uAG0RoBerqKyYa7xgOi6bS68SlmGEjVKxpfWrK11I_1jgq9ua3aPw7cV5BYQcUiqZZgPZfvY8WdwCO0Ua20gSK8HLdZeVzmhans9Acx2fOIqEgmQr_1v41iwKbRGJJSWIClGshioSCbSMlQfltzEWERY1SglsoC-uKhIJ_1uAG0RoBeroR4JcAgV334pgqEgmKyYa7xgOi6RHglwCBXffimCoSCbS68SlmGEjVETkJ0GNipgHJKhIJKxpfWrK11I8RBYP-ElKG2D0qEgnjgq9ua3aPwxHGxdziiM5D1CoSCbcV5BYQcUiqEY0ZrV6R0kltKhIJZZgPZfvY8WcRyRAivLSfEbIqEglwCO0Ua20gSBHYrYsKsi75dyoSCa8HLdZeVzmhEXTh2OEiVzAJKhIJans9Acx2fOIRPLI-n6U0ihNhiNhjPaUPuHU&client=ms-google-coop&hl=en&ved=0CAIQrnZqFwoTCKiVuNKWlekCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAF&biw=1007&bih=615

The starter comp technology described above can be employed in stereos and TV that uses less than 40 volts, 1 such comp placed inside as inbuilt just as the TV with in-built decoder and with Gadgets that use more the 40 volts, i.e Fridges, blender, kettles, washing machine, oven, toasters, cookers can used the above that gives 200 volts, with iron box it will be big so can employ like 2 such above and used many watts small step up transformers, partially big than the normal iron box like in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?q=images%20of%20big%20electric%20iron%20boxes&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg%3ACdZBcnhUd_1MCImCvj8SfyIJzDlXjRCyxSGDYpAefpAOXAFBCCu2AaojmUHfK2BFywqsA2EIFp-EPLiuhIbzZKoZC2cS_1jUFmE6pOzxgGddQfUViIz3zmADEe4fuk64pfHmLNb5vPQQ9vbasqEgmvj8SfyIJzDhGLg0f9VsI0QyoSCVXjRCyxSGDYEcGr6IxUB_1hwKhIJpAefpAOXAFARHn0N59eJG48qEglCCu2AaojmUBHarGOAQJ7DDSoSCXfK2BFywqsAERzFTMBN-7_1lKhIJ2EIFp-EPLisRkqpRxlu6TkEqEgmhIbzZKoZC2RHalmOWYDwLayoSCcS_1jUFmE6pOEbrgn7DW-Z11KhIJzxgGddQfUVgR2Of2cAGWJPYqEgmIz3zmADEe4RGux46kynPPVyoSCfuk64pfHmLNEcznruoavwkyKhIJb5vPQQ9vbasRZjHVlt1sXUthFViGb9FHPvc&client=opera&hl=en-US&ved=0CAIQrnZqFwoTCIjBsKz_lukCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAN&biw=967&bih=641

https://www.expertreviews.co.uk/home-appliances/1405852/best-steam-iron-the-best-steam-irons-to-buy-from-15

Ciara of USA, 50 cent, Knowles and like J-zay of yesterday we know and more are not those personalities rather others of same countenance or those who transforms as the drone they were using underneath as described above fell and no rescue to fall in land but just going down in the space, so they are long dead, if u wanna find out, this the answer those who transfigure into other Animals dont partake sour or bitter things and in-fact is more in African political figure and it should follow suit to avoid the former as u cant get a post if u fail to partake such described above to eradicate that shit once and for good with employing other feasible mechanisms such as Wireless BMI machines which are aim at ya the digits gotten

In-fact with explained in following tumblr a/c of this 1, as Lake Victoria was small and enlarged by making a big tunnel on its main draining to the sea rivers then on-top of the long tunnel, km and more heaped debris more than maybe even 100 meters 4 if the tunnel blocked the water dont over flow immediately but collects at the awasi border (Kendu bay homa bay road), the above was done and its crystal clear u see the lake drained its water in the Indian oceans and if u sturdy the East African Land topology, most likely the lake reached Nairobi, while the national park b4 the white relocated where animals gotten from Nyabondo plateau and transferred so in times futurity hamper the spread of the city 4 the better cause it was a lake land and could take ya to hell if u aint a fervent christian, so that will be their justification in time of judgement, has having an excuse, Jesus with Transfiguration another version to bring out reality. Friend get it straight like in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?q=images+of+long+river+tunnels&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwi6tJK5_5bpAhVH04UKHZyfAiwQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=images+of+long+river+tunnels&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoECAAQQzoCCAA6BggAEAUQHjoGCAAQCBAeOgQIABAYUPTIOViUnDpg6KE6aAZwAHgAgAGMAogB0iWSAQYwLjIxLjSYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZw&sclient=img&ei=M1uuXvrONsemlwScv4rgAg&bih=641&biw=967&client=opera&hl=en-US#imgrc=V7qOSZjCwZmBqM

Dont discard ya waste in plastic or metallic bottles or anything given to scrap dealership as u can combine such and sell and buy something meaningful 4 people in ya groups or society like motorbikes cause if u do the former u r promoting the bad character of wanting to eat in ya house trukana or Masai blooded who r now able even to bite and eat ya flesh in the midst of getting into ya conversation. Please thwart their motives dude.

Portacabin houses are now cheap, like 1 room goes 4 $200, so b4 the pursuit of processing ya green-card to avoid u being victimized u can buy such prior in rural America to go to instead of shelter or 1 house or school that increases the victimization index. In-fact should be placed in ya process ya green-card procedure with i.e like buying an E-Motorbike to aid u in ya movement in-case blocked. I went, i saw and i conquered the truths to tell ya, so a blessing in disguise. Once in a century appears 1 like Nelson but not always as mostly rarely. Not even ya education will help u at that time, in snow is cumbersome dude, lest u got the above or take a flight back home just like Kebi did homies.

https://www.google.com/search?q=nigeria+portacabinhouses&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjM6bfplJXpAhVK_IUKHcR5A1sQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=nigeria+portacabinhouses&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1D5dVjChQFggYwBaABwAHgAgAHCAogB2wuSAQcwLjQuMi4xmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWc&sclient=img&ei=LmWtXsyaM8r4lwTE843YBQ&bih=632&biw=1024&client=ms-google-coop#imgrc=k6XVHoMuSTuNrM

Wasee pigeni rungu, hambiya watu waache kung’edhia, hata peeni kebi motisha apige rung’u, awache kung’edhia ng’edhia tu hapo nyumba, madem ni wengi mno, hata hawo wanajidai madignitary wapige rungu, message from Hamphrey Eteni OF meridian nursing home in Kansas friend with Mike of the same at Via Christi Hospital

If know nothing u need to eat much to make u much fat 4 people to avoid ya as destroy ya brain as well vice versa with investigated sharp people and 1 of the reasons people grows wild over u and some cases police arrest if u eat much yet sharp, they want not, disturbs peoples mind.

Starter comp 4 kitchen that gives 48 volts if u connect 4 in a series connection way gives ya 200 volts rotating the a long shaft inside them with 1.5 V drycell mounted on a slight gear like the toy car wheel system to rotate more fast as finding 2 of such gear where after connecting to rotate on the other end still u find the same connect vice versa on the same end leaving the gear to be rotated by the motor to rotate the shaft cause its soft on that end more than the end connected on the end rotated by that motor on its soft gear part, i mean the part that rotates the wheel, kinda, the shaft can all magnet like the rod inside the radio which wires rolls on, the turning of station part, without placing a step up transformers dude like in the links below, or 8, 24 such below or 16, such 12 volts, Generic 1Pcs Mini Micro Small 3-phase Wind Turbines Hand Alternator Generator 3V-24v 12v. Unless i see i when i can believed as forwarded to me in my Facebook a/c

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fsteemitimages.com%2F640x0%2Fhttps%3A%2F%2Fsteemitimages.com%2FDQmb35dGSrLrQoH1aErj2rcUBv4x4WnjAuWRNFxV6Yh6z2u%2Fam2.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fsteemit.com%2Fteardown%2F%40proteus-h%2Finside-a-basic-am-fm-radio-receiver&tbnid=HEldBFO7PjMtxM&vet=12ahUKEwjqrbiewpTpAhVB4oUKHYQ2A1QQMyg6egUIARCIAQ..i&docid=8c1JTMtOXgosxM&w=640&h=360&q=images%20of%20parts%20of%20a%20small%20radio&client=ms-google-coop&ved=2ahUKEwjqrbiewpTpAhVB4oUKHYQ2A1QQMyg6egUIARCIAQ

https://www.alignable.com/milford-oh/mikes-electronic-parts/crystal-radio-kit-3

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-1pcs-mini-micro-small-3-phase-wind-turbines-hand-alternator-generator-3v-24v-12v-new-18194523.html

https://favpng.com/png_view/car-lego-mindstorms-nxt-gear-lego-technic-transmission-png/90gEjrXz

Odila compounds in KSM migosi estate was where King Solomon house stood along time and besides the road at that time was where the lake started b4 River Nile was dug to shrink it as at that time it drains its water to red sea or Indian ocean in Somali, the mouth to the out let was at awasi border along kendu bay Homa bay road, they heap artificial made debris to make not the river flow again and if u pass their u see the land on this side hangs while the lake water kind wants to overcome the land and fall over but relatively far. They blocked it b4 leaving as it had much water falls that could generate electricity which could hamper they huge population motive as time gets by transport electricity below the earth crust to evade the sea to get big cash from the high population they are championing, even bringing people here from other spheres to facilitate the above truth. When the owner comes knows how to make military vehicles and what they don’t know, will cut ya into pieces, the Naphtali tribe, they feared war cause no point to fight yet they got no internet technology which the people they killed got, so had to relent but now they even know how to make home and office appliances that makes life movable. The Italians machines are the most sophisticated and durable, so imagine and that’s why the Guard tribe killed yesus thinking he will tell Italians the same and subdue them economically and in war dominance and get pride as Christ emanated from their tribe but don’t do that as they fear the explained above.

Buy America whirlpool, mabe or Mexican NAFTA home appliances bro in the link below, must stay ahead of competition to be good and accept reality, rather their goods wont be bought or discarded altogether if they join the bad like support America.

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=whirlpool+electronics+images&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif6Z2Yx5TpAhU15OAKHRBTAVMQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=632

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-google-coop&ei=xxOtXt9ptciDB5CmhZgF&q=NAFTA+home+appliances+from+which+country&oq=NAFTA+home+appliances+from+which+country&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzoECAAQRzoECAAQQzoCCAA6BggAEBYQHjoICAAQFhAKEB46BQghEKABOgcIIRAKEKABOggIIRAWEB0QHjoECCEQFVDGIFiYbWCccmgAcAJ4AYABhgWIAYNKkgEKMi0zMS40LjAuMZgBAKABAqABAaoBB2d3cy13aXo&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwif6Z2Yx5TpAhU15OAKHRBTAVMQ4dUDCAs&uact=5

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=made+home+appliances+images&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjA8eHmx5TpAhXnAGMBHb-aCdEQsAR6BAgIEAE

Artificial ground nuts, sunflower or sim sim used to make as well artificial oil is grinned not that much then much water added then many spit saliva in a big container in the dark and boom they are formed or a little oil on water in a container then the above done and boom the cooking oil. Christ with little kids to cement the truth.

Artificial made pineapple makes ya head shape cone shape 4 the better as the face shape of inverted cone piss many a woman or men but eat it ones and divorce its usage, cause much makes it more/much that way 4 kids to start their laughs or people thinks u r sick or malnourished.

https://www.google.com/search?q=+types+of+humanface+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwic_KKwyZTpAhWj8IUKHadaDywQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=+types+of+humanface+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1DvZFjzeGCRe2gAcAB4AIAB1wGIAZ8DkgEDMi0ymAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWc&sclient=img&ei=EhatXpyrEqPhlwSntb3gAg&bih=632&biw=1024&client=ms-google-coop#imgrc=AMD-5VEM6URHbM

Kebi saying where is that Mochanda and MAGDALENE who has refused to get into his love trap, playing not hard to get but rather star-bon, he has done all hairstyles but to no avail including changing attires, now he is signaling women around that his penis can be played with and looks up indirectly by wearing kiri kiri or akala with aerial like projections looking up to cement the truth of the above waiting finally 4 the 2 women say cause like he says he cant stand an erection thinking of them, warning them they can find themselves in hell out of that. Like in the link below

https://www.facebook.com/AkalaShoes/photos/a.1538986833076066/1538986819742734/?type=3&theater

https://www.google.com/search?q=shapes+of+kenya+made+akala+or+kirikiri&client=ms-google-coop&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=1gU96dYBvwKD7M%253A%252CXWEfFtP77WZ96M%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kRjjYAf5GQs2pxz4fBRXqTZ6CDTRw&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjz-P-LxJTpAhXUDWMBHSRkCnMQ9QEwCHoECAgQBw#imgrc=1gU96dYBvwKD7M&imgdii=n0ndiNtGP-OnZM

Dough in ice or cold water make Radios, Tv, home appliances as well as office or medical equipment or glass/plastic bottles or containers. Ice in dough or cold water or vice versa makes artificial tea if u spit saliva in the dark, tiles, tires, guns or any military vehicle or ammunition and even toys and many more gadgets u come to see after u partake neem leaves in ya meditation.

Daily wages is sweet than that saved in the bank if relatively easy to get and can take ya too hell if u do it daily as opposed to people who r looked at who got much cash and life in danger of being robed hence applies tight security measures.

Those who love like kids or rice or play love flat lands with flash like water on them not dry. Those who love snacks love flat dry lands and its known dat way bro. Those who love cold mountainous lands love corpse and if u like such lands investigators think u r 1 and many taken to prison out of this even when u select online. Those who love plain lands or champions in explaining things love lands which are flat but not all that dry like lands which has just experienced slight flash rainfall. Food lovers loves partially hill places not rolling while those who love themselves loves the later rolling lands and its true and ya character known that way while those who love women love lands with water bodies as cities next to or generally people loving people character. Living in big cities creates another character of instilling chauvinism or class in u as vice versa, lands with few people breed love and ya character pegged on the above underlying truths

Pit latrine which are clean with water beneath when u shit in them gives ya the calmness of mind as directs ya or open ya ways bro, serious and try dude and toilets where feces fall on water b4 flashing wobbles ya mind and makes ya less sane scenario with many whites yet they know not but instead give those using pit latrine names as much as with negro folks. It should be made dry where if u sit the shit fall directly into the below part which can be made like 2 meters b4 the fecal mater heap to add much water to pump it to the sewer line using a water pump to avoid the explained above with mind wobbling period dude like in the link below

https://www.jumia.co.ke/k-water-pump-motor/

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=flashable+toilet+images&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjPxd2Pm5LpAhXYDmMBHZ86DVQQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=632

Now their is affirmative action with the new E-bikes which don’t spoil unless wares out in wheels or break parts after long and eliminates completely fuel money the previous use giving ya like 200% profit of the money u made using the gas powered 1, so women not complain or wait on men no-more, as they can buy the same to save their money they used on the same as transport while carrying other women they found on roads like in the links below or just organized to take women in the morning to town and drop them from work in the evening or when call made like from airport or hotels, women now is the time to pro-act and stop waiting on men as E-motorbike profit is huge. Like in the link below

http://africa.chinadaily.com.cn/weekly/2015-07/17/content_21309042.htm

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Flookaside.fbsbx.com%2Flookaside%2Fcrawler%2Fmedia%2F%3Fmedia_id%3D1475038859248143&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FEvalast.The.Future%2Fphotos%2Favailable-in-nairobi-kajiado-coming-to-kitui-town-next-week%2F1475038859248143%2F&tbnid=VXpF0JNl_oR8SM&vet=12ahUKEwid2uqMnJLpAhWX4oUKHb6pAOcQMygOegUIARCNAg..i&docid=tsKCuYsNtfILhM&w=960&h=734&itg=1&q=e-motorcycles%20in%20nairobi%20images&client=ms-google-coop&ved=2ahUKEwid2uqMnJLpAhWX4oUKHb6pAOcQMygOegUIARCNAg

https://www.doit.com.ng/2019/12/04/do-you-know-mobile-toilets-are-goldmines-in-nigeria/

In the above link u take out the shit u don’t flash it out to the sewer line and its like the pit latrine gimmick above

Buy Zero USA made motorbikes in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-google-coop&ei=IturXsebG4_UUbGAmtAF&q=kanos+electric+motorcycle+from+which+country&oq=kanos+electric+motorcycle+from+which+country&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzoECAAQRzoECCEQClCzxANY0OgDYOHuA2gAcAJ4AIABowKIAdMQkgEFMC4xLjiYAQCgAQGqAQdnd3Mtd2l6&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwjHtOmDnZLpAhUPahQKHTGABloQ4dUDCAs&uact=5

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=zero+motorcycle+images&client=ms-google-coop&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjym8TCnZLpAhWt6uAKHaA_BlgQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=632

The know nothings wants u to join their bandwagon which if u refuse they say u hate not good looking people as u disrespect them, as talk much as them with their ears closed and mouth wide open, MR crocodile the Governor where is the utility of all ya Degree which theorem machine have u come up with to help masses or just talking in reproaches and planning hooliganism with hooligans, tell me dude, ya daughter in love with kebi wanna elope or what dude, talk Mr Governor or afraid wont get ya post again. They say Kenya good than USA without proper reasons b4 again saying they r Negros, if they get their they will send us much dollars, stop dude and figure out, they have not know yet how to make home appliances if we know a head of them will sell to them and be rich but now they have known the same as per the links below even with motorbikes. Stop Stop stop, accept u r defeated and lets move on

They still locate people houses to disrespect them and economy wont build that way on disrespect lines but stiff principles below which don’t select whether poor or rich and all ya dirty dubious ways explained below now blocked so source 4 others which r blocked as well. Google bro, now with cheap portacabin house like in Nigeria when other nations have learnt the same, placed in credit eliminate the vice u have heaped upon people 4 ages. Go to hell and die if u wanna dude!!! Locating folks with money to join them, bad character or if not so plan their downfall to start disrespecting them, or cut them in view of exhuming such people casket b4 they sell again even seats brought from Kansas should bore drilled holes as marks on the hind parts using a drill and with anything one left to thrift store or place outside their homes i.e plates that finds their way to Africa so we know they r from the USA to be made cheap or given as donation to thwart the old gimmicks of getting rich fast yet belittling the very people who are hardworking to buy the same. Kids get to the same rest rooms as parents and find feces particles of the later which breeds disrespect among families or people, houses ought to have different toilets to place a mark between parents,kids and visitors to avoid the above. Make ya toilet clean like 100% to avert the later.

Signs of a brighter day bro, we cant teach old Dogs new trick just let them lie as they know not of the below as a good turn deserves another period.

shampoo made out of grass grows ya bald so desist bro  ya information. Kenyan motorbikes in the link below  

https://cleantechnica.com/2020/02/18/fika-mobility-wants-to-jumpstart-the-kenyan-electric-motorcycle-market-with-battery-swap-model/

The link below represent E-motorcycles which are Kenyan made called Fika, grab your today bro, now stop standing on the road to poke others or in a base to propel hooliganism lest arrest let the law be implemented as fast as the speed of sound period, thought it will never change, dude change will change ya if u don’t relent and obey, We arrived as tumefika not sluggards bro

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=fika+mobility+motorcycle+from+which+country

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=fika+mobility+motorcycle+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjQ9dG8qpDpAhXE8uAKHf1yCVcQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

https://www.google.com/search?q=small+solar+lighting+from+china+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiQl_yGmZDpAhWK_IUKHeVLCJgQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=small+solar+lighting+from+china+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1C52gFYy4QCYI2MAmgAcAB4AIABnBGIAf80kgENMC4xLjUtMS41LjktMZgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1n&sclient=img&ei=h8qqXtC3Mor5lwTll6HACQ&bih=910&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-dUnless i

http://africa.chinadaily.com.cn/weekly/2015-07/17/content_21309042.htm

see a generator that uses a 1.5 v dry cell to generate 240 volts is when i can believe to alludes of CHRIST 1 disciple called Bartolomeo or just illusions. Can even use the phone battery charging technology as u charge another to replace it cause charging 1 battery and using it at the same time without replacing it cause landslides and heavy downpour. Like in the link below or can be automated in that if the battery reaches a certain voltages it becomes the charged 1 while the was charged 1 now rotates the shaft to produce power and it goes on and on

https://www.google.com/search?q=+phone+battery+external+chargers+from+china+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjKv63ImJDpAhXI4YUKHTfFB00Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=+phone+battery+external+chargers+from+china+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1D7tAJY9PQCYPiDA2gAcAB4AIABjQeIAfoQkgEFNS0yLjGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZw&sclient=img&ei=BMqqXsqtH8jDlwS3ip_oBA&bih=910&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

https://www.google.com/search?q=small+solar+lighting+from+china+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiQl_yGmZDpAhWK_IUKHeVLCJgQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=small+solar+lighting+from+china+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1C52gFYy4QCYI2MAmgAcAB4AIABnBGIAf80kgENMC4xLjUtMS41LjktMZgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1n&sclient=img&ei=h8qqXtC3Mor5lwTll6HACQ&bih=910&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

Even electric bulbs and other accessories are made in euphorbia mixture with water where u place 1 sample of bulb and boom many are formed, torches as well and solar kits, even some phones.

Placing tea in dough and spit on the mixture gives even cooked chapati or raw, mandazi, other biscuits, cookies or cakes.

Put stains on shelter materials like clothing, nursing homes apparels like blankets, bed sheets, pillow or duvet that are permanent so if seen in the markets of other nation are barred from being bought as shame, kinda or make holes at the tip the around the hole sew it again to avoid over-tear to be a mark as above to discourage dubious ways of getting money leading to triumph belittling others for nothing who are industrious and yet know not of ya hidden dubious agendas. A people who are geared at forging the country ahead no-matter what as u joke and give in to play.

The plane in the link below can take to the sky up-to 5 years and used to transport the above using fissures on the earth crust to another nation as being controlled from the computer as a wire is rolled underground to emanate from these holes to make it not lose direction and fall or just a person b4 he hangs it on a hook after reaching the hole to the earth crust as the destination. It has a not 1 coil system to heat the siren gas cylinder but like 3 like the alternating press pen in that it rotates to change the coil if burns up as the wire that carries the same current to heat every coil has a red light to signal its working which if goes off means the coil aint working so u change another as switch a switch to rotate the 1 in use out as u remove it to allow another 1 works as much as having enough spares on the place to sail ya through

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fbillionairetoys.com%2Frolls-royce-hybrid-powered-apus-i-5-demonstrator-aircraft%2F&psig=AOvVaw0rw7fAM8ZoGlwjmmQvQmMH&ust=1588338170462000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAkQjhxqFwoTCMjeofaakOkCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/699113542134647779/

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/funfair-carnival-games-children-adults-amusement-197508050

With tumblr a/c if the email is guessed and has more than 30 characters u cant get back and log in even if some1 gives ya the password period dude, get this straight, let it not be a debate bro lest wanna put up a fight even if u try to open that guessed like g mail a/c to send magic link to still get access to the same a/c u cant bro. Get it straight fellows and all my following tumblr a/c displayed in sirjustice104 r opened that way, so what u r saying u want to delete then take out a flight out the hood is a pure impossibility unless u attack the servers of tumblr company in Ny. Dude whats ya take or what u r up dude b4 u resort to wanting my food in a rich nation as u claim as rich people have developed another character away from the known behaving like poor people or b4 u look at my property to steal in open way or want to grab my manhood esp Mr Hindu doing roadside show businesses along the way. Accept defeat and lest move on, me i see thing in my eye like Robinson or Minaj booty in USA while me in Kenya but u, u only see 10 km radios, as u claim not me, if u were me u ought to see the same, fuck u Mr Hindu and stop ya sick open games and resort to hard works. In these day not even ya cash will aid ya period.

Even the photos of hairstyles and cuts of people when inserted on dough or used bottles, snow flakes or chaff make gadgets not necessarily cut heads that can be a target in political instigated even like demonstration, reason being the same above yet the normal people know not as u r targeted of hair-style to make with machines.

Any1 in life who has been a head of ya, manipulated ya in 1 way or another their is away u get him in life, just like in a movie some good get bullet shots to teach u the same that also u with another aint spared and how life is, even with America, Eu or Asia, most African nations have come up with machines ahead of them and are left in awe as long they used to say its the skin color that makes them think as opposed to Africans. Question fellows where is that gimmicks, even those ahead in class u get them as later in life ahead of them in cash and they get perplexed as they were tought aint right as not only school define life, so can advice others to take another course of life. Christ with prostitutes going to hell ahead of u. Folks some people r never judged after death cause their sins minimal and many wonder that judgement houses like in Minneapolis to small 4 50 million-people who die annually as per records.

The people who are not all that bad in life gets to the bottom cold floors of hell as described below in hot lands and vice versa in cold lands like the tundra, those bad get to the hottest floor bearing the above in mind, neither bad nor good gets in the middle and as well what was ya favorite city temp, so they fight the reverse to get where u did not want whether hot or cold.

Volt meter on planes need not capacitor or place 2 after and b4 the capacitor as placing 1 b4 only tells of power past SCC but the capacitor as well can burn and it doesn’t show that rather if u place them many even 5 in a parallel connection.

The police like, coast, Jamaica blooded men, find new excuse as argument cause u have thwarted their thinking, now where is ya mask which if covid is over we don’t know the new slogan they will put on their lips every-time and another is about the home appliances, guys who are making these things after u read my tumblr a/c, purely is me giving them the guiding-lines to make such but little did u know they start to quarrel with me again on something am championing to defeat Mr white man as buy from ya country and discard from nations that supports the derailment of the above but if they change still u can hang on their gadgets as excuse can be ya home made are detriment to the eye while their not that bad, so folks they build up animosity if i say the same that u ought to buy from ya nation on what i have help build. Bad character anyway as u have blocked them to kill ya and eat ya corps so they hold grudges upon ya. Its a new debate with ya all together.

Most never wants to love kids as situation aint still good and loop holes r going to be blocked, so have known the same, so by locating those who eat they send dem kids to ya and you knowing u don’t love them as it makes u feel bad as kinda, an umbrella opens up on ya mind and close the nerves of ya senses in ya brain to stop u from thinking, so many hate kids around them and many give them names yet they know not the above or just know to wanna spread the raising kid expenses to others or give ya names or maybe they teach ya of the same to look into how u can make people love simple life cause maybe they see u can do it and have not realized not. It goes this way in life, u cant expect me to accommodate others in my house yet me i was not accommodated rather was terrorized with my peers around me and chased by grown ups, scratch my back i scratch yours is the norm of the day, get it straight dude, never just give people names yet u don’t understand their past, its a spirit that needs to be eliminated with tricks to reverse the above.

Artificial foods Af just like Africa with mad, breed belittlement on you to people around you,kinda, it snatch out respect out of ya and many are sent to investigate as eating corpse described above as it will be part of judgement in life after death with like appendix, kinda,1 sees u like useless, weightless as flying to indicate the above, u wont deny in hell everything got side-effects even if eating in secrecy or corners.

Blessed are the comic, 4 they shall inherit the earth, without china i could be in bondage as Eu nations would not have made the same alternator generator to at-least calm the situation but Nigeria had made it, if at all they did not made it they could have helped liberate the situation. Planes should be made like comic plane to avert plane fall and they above employed as the running along the middle parachute or individual ones placed inside the plane 4 the same.

The starter comp 4 kitchen alternator resembling the motorbike 1 in the link bellow can be made big like of much wire and a big portion of magnet to instead of producing 24 volts as specified bellow produces 220 volts where it can overtate complete alternator generator for better/good as well in the link below as it will be small and can use like one 1.5 V dry-cell creating a new wonder or phenomena in the world of innovation without passing via an electric inverter. Make work easy, pro-act dude instead of reproaches

https://www.jumia.co.ke/catalog/?q=no+fuel+generator

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-1pcs-mini-micro-small-3-phase-wind-turbines-hand-alternator-generator-3v-24v-12v-new-18194523.html

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FtiKH48EMgKE%2Fmaxresdefault.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DtiKH48EMgKE&tbnid=67CDPehP1h5X3M&vet=12ahUKEwjK3LzEv4_pAhVR8IUKHWJMDpMQMygZegQIARA7..i&docid=onZ-cF4VZzPkIM&w=1280&h=720&q=the%20most%20cheapest%20alternator%20generator&client=ms-google-coop&ved=2ahUKEwjK3LzEv4_pAhVR8IUKHWJMDpMQMygZegQIARA7

When made it will something like the describe gadget in the link below powering ya house or ya business premise, in fact its portable and can walk with it alongside ya and never feel the pinch

https://wxnaiermic.en.made-in-china.com/product/pCvnqjxoHYkE/China-500W-12V-24V-48V-Three-Phase-Low-Rpm-AC-Pmg-Permanent-Magnet-Alternator-Generator.html

Africa is like the head of some1, so countries on the back of the head as west African states will have the day with speedboat or yacht transport via the sea to America as much as parcel delivery and on the nose as horn of Africa and North Africa nations bordering the sea after good roads developed as well as railway. With tumblr a/c if u follow no-1 u cant shift the a/c or if u use a browser like opera mini or chrome u cant do the above or when creating the a/c u used a pass-code more than 30 characters u can log in again even if u know the created password. And on Instagram or FB i just search the country name and find where to comments and follow them or send personal text b4 they react and u can check on my following how many nations i have done the same, in fact all nations of the world, so if u ambush me out of wanting that to be ya own u r on wrong side of history as they got the same and moreover i have searched under google to post to ya on my following tumblr a/c what they have made period dude. Dude what now do u want? Answer me homie!!!

shampoo made out of grass grows ya bald so desist bro  ya information. Kenyan motorbikes in the link below while 1 made out of Euphorbia after long protrudes ya 4head out as Malachi 4 cements the truth another version. They are gays so guides ya women to leave u hoping they will be yours in short time which they find not easy and that’s the gimmick, “we have been warned“ mostly dignitaries and lazy men in society. Resort to bar soap women with barnabas to guide ya!!

Siri Lanka speed boats r too expensive, this the quotation they tell me for their boats, compare with china made ones bro b4 selling to respect fellows

50-60 feet semi long line vessels $120000-150000

https://cleantechnica.com/2020/02/18/fika-mobility-wants-to-jumpstart-the-kenyan-electric-motorcycle-market-with-battery-swap-model/

U can opt 4 the below machines in the link below

https://www.agrimachines.co.ke/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=4&Itemid=104

kebi could not stop saying moch nyimi long'o as he was giving it unto her

Houses are even made with cereal chaff or the remains of harvested cereals like with maize, millet etc, where foundation dug only they the above heaped even with garbage and u can fence to hold them in place, b4 in the dark many spit upon the above and boom the house of ya type u inserted many photos of gotten from the net formed even with city buildings, bridges and sky scrappers.

On the wireless alarm system to call ya phone after subscribing 4 unlimited with like cricket as explained in 1 of the following tumblr a/c of sirjustice200 u can use the radio call in the link below instead but 4 short distance if u leave by

https://www.jumia.co.ke/boafeng-bf-888s-16-channel-two-way-radio-3w-27823759.html?seller_product=1

For the 1.5 volts battery described above u can use these ones instead of phone battery if u like or wanna as u replace each after 1 finishes in power

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-or-16208-pcs-3.7v-cr123a-16340-2800mah-yellow-gtl-rechargeable-li-ion-battery-yellow-25951617.html

https://www.jumia.co.ke/generic-12pcs-vtc6-3.7v-2500mah-li-ion-rechargeable-18650-battery-18650-charger-purple-2-groove-24820891.html

some truths as well make money via blockchain like in the link below            

https://www.blockchain.com/ and remote controlled kid boat        

https://www.google.com/search?q=nigeria+remote+controlled+boats+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwioha2U9pzpAhUH9BoKHQAPAcwQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=nigeria+remote+controlled+boats+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoCCAA6BggAEAgQHjoECAAQGFDYyBVYr4oWYK-NFmgAcAB4AYABsAOIAdc3kgEKMC4xLjI1LjMuMZgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1n&sclient=img&ei=xXaxXuiOD4foa4CehOAM&bih=632&biw=1024&client=ms-google-coop

https://www.facebook.com/mcsleepy.nelson.39/videos/pcb.138322994431084/138322891097761/?type=3&__tn__=HH-R-R&eid=ARBRnzBYXghWeHUuldbr-0ovmbHV1kW7A74Xja3s6Bt8qy4kS69xQOnIwxMbboJOXeuK2hrCKrj-jzFM

Eliminate paper money at-least coin which has the width testing machine where if old the bank takes to replace immediately not to stop the above. 2 protect the coin from cutting ya appendages insert on water from outside the building, it only does the above if u touch the money inside the building, money made out of feces of those who are HIV/aids positive. Click the link below 4 more, Anyway just a gimmick, can tell the devil to make of the same width and he makes, eliminate liquid cash period and place money online

https://www.thesprucecrafts.com/how-to-detect-counterfeit-coins-4163525

Play the game in the below link to earn

https://playmaster.co.ke/en/casino?utm_source=mgid&utm_medium=newcasino4

Most English sweet message songs as well as swahili were King David and Plato made, they knew swahili,the Italians give people to redo them making u think 1 is wise, even ecclesiastic were platos things in the bible, he was made to kill himself to take the same as they did to give them respects which now can make Solomon lands in hell, in-fact if u eat neem leaves of see his head being elevated above and maybe 1 reason why they changed the bible to evade the above. In-fact the bed where King Solomon was made lies helpless along Kisumu kakamega road on a bed furniture shop. The Romanians and balkanized nations wants to tell u who Christ was cause they know the truth as they have eliminated fee of being victimized as they have learnt how to make military vehicles and other machines to suppress the G10 nation gimmicks. Still opposing then kill us b4 we kill u, king of the jew to cement the truth.

When u google the photos of ancient Europe scholars or leaders they direct ya to go slow, they will accept,kinda, the words echoes in ya mind giving ya hope to be of respect. They thought other nations will not learn automation so if u wanted to get to Russia think twice it got no resources rather made ones not as earlier thought. A mind changer bro!!!!

Even Cambodian girls got pointed breast at even after puberty and they hate joining things, if u got that trait then u got that blood of wanting no disturbance with shallow things, most biblical leaders like David and his son got that blood. Worker and vineyard parable to bring reality back home. Partially of big eyes like the Togolese or some Jamaicans as much as Eritrea and Kuwait.

Hindu can transfigure ya lips so eat fresh deep fried Nile perch or Ginger with skali ngulu to avert the changing process once u got the desired body part i.e teeth or lips, or drinking sewer water widens ya lips even in unnoticeable amounts

[restorerjourney]

Week 5 of 7 in Mazatlán

July 31, 2021

This week started with hardships for me personally but ended with victories, deeper unity with Christ and our team, and freedom. When I create my weekly reels on instagram for this week I was surprised to realize that there were so many clips of us dancing with flags which represents freedom! Freedom is not just a feeling but a revelation of who we are and what God has given us the authority over. It’s a lot to take it in and I feel that I might understand it more in hindsight what God is making us go through as a team. 

To start off, like I said before the beginning of week was really rough. One of our team members decided to start a relationship with another team member at a different DTS and they both are here in Mazatlan. The rules were clear when we signed up for DTS that during DTS we shouldn’t start dating with another DTS student because we want this season to fully focus on God. It sounds harmless to date, but now as a team we could see the repercussions. Although the leaders were lenient during our lecture phase, during outreach phase they drew the line clear that they should put their relationship on pause only until after the outreach is over. This is because we are going as a team..we are in a foreign country..our purpose is to serve the nation that we are going to..etc etc. It’s obvious why, but that couple struggled and despite them thinking it was a private matter, it affected our team’s unity and trust. Long story short, God intervened in our team..in his heart..and in mine. The old Alicia would have been apathetic about how he felt and focused more on the boundaries that we crossed, but I felt the Lord change my heart during DTS. The Lord really guided me on how to approach my fellow team member who is like my little brother and learn to not judge him but to empathize with him. God showed me how to be with him in the hurting yet teach him the effects of the choices you make and how there will always be a cause and effect in life. It took so much out of me, but I am so glad God intervened the way he did and because we all do fear the Lord, were able to come back together as one. They decided to obey the Lord, to submit to the leaders and the rules, and surrender their relationship to God. It was a fight worth fighting for and I feel like I’m learning a glimpse of what parenting could actually look like LOL ( Dear Lord have mercy). 

Literally almost every day or every other day, one of our team member would be spiritually attacked. But I see each time that it happens, we would all gather, interceded, pray, declare God’s truth, repent, and be restored. It’s so exhausting but so beautiful. This time I got attacked mid-week when I was getting impatient of not getting my period and letting doubt enter my mind. I knew God told me that I was healed and to trust in His promises just like Abraham had to trust God when he was told to sacrifice Isaac. It made no sense why I was going through this...I was feeling “God why did you even let me go through that healing process? Wouldn’t it been better if I didn’t go through it?”. and that’s when I realized I had to repent of this old habit of mine that I allow myself to think that my ways are better than God’s. God told me I was healed, he told me it was my declaration of no longer agreeing to self-hatred that restored me, and to trust in His promises that I will be a mom one day. I just was getting so tired of waiting, not knowing, so I asked a sister from a different DTS to pray for me. When she prayed for me with another friend it was pretty weird. She was shaking and screaming and although she warned me about it before, I was kind of scared. During the entire time of praying I didn’t hear much from the Lord but just focused my eyes on him. She shared that she felt so much strongholds over me and that I need to repent of any ancestral sins. I prayed about it but God didn’t really highlight anytime for me. I then shared that experience with my parents and they were pissed haha. They were like “ who told you this? What are they teaching you”..and I realize then it was their involuntary parental bear instinct that was coming out of them because they didn’t agree with what she said at all. And then that’s when I realized, did I personally hear anything from God about it...and the answer was no, but I believed her. I started to question everything and everyone who prayed over me and that I believed without going before God and confirming it. 

I realized then that I was getting too comfortable of getting prophetic words and relying on someone’s physical voice speaking over me compared to the internal voice that I hear from God which requires faith. I had to repent and was reminded by God that I hear His voice best for me and that’s because of Jesus. That usually when people pray or have a prophetic word for me, it’s to confirm what was already told to me. Just because some random person comes up to you and speaks something true about your life and it sounds good, if you don’t hear this from the Lord yourself or if he doesn’t confirm it...it’s probably not from God. They say it like this, if you get a prophetic word, just put it on a shelf, don’t just directly receive it. I knew what God said to me the day I got healed a month ago and I am given a chance again to cling on to God’s timing.

Because the pandemic is still pretty bad here we are still limited to not be able to continue our alpha course or go to Stone Island, but we’ve been doing intercessory prayer. We also got to do bible distribution at a new neighborhood. The moment we got off the trucks, a lady who works at the store told us to come and gave us free cold water! It was so encouraging to see how God was using her to refresh us before we gave out bibles. During our time there, couple team members felt a dark presence over some of the homes and it happened to be those who refused to receive the bibles. I met a lady named Olga who had right knee pain and when we prayed for her, she felt better and was so thankful for what we were doing to her community. I met another man who looked sick when he came out and I asked, he said he had COVID. We always wear our masks and kept our distance but for a split second there was fear in my heart but I felt the Lord asking me to pray for him. We socially distanced ourselves and I prayed for healing, for protection for his family, and he was so encouraged. To be honest, we have been encountering more and more people with COVID and it really is by God’s grace that there has been no outbreaks in our team or at the baes. 

We did street evangelism too which was really cool that I want to tell you guys about. I’ve never done this before with any other mission’s team in my life but we had no agenda but just asked God as a team what he wanted us to do. We asked God where, who, and what we were going to do. Each team member would share what God spoke to them and it’s like a puzzle piece that we put together of what God is trying to lead us. We felt God has highlighted to focus on children this week. He showed us doing nails and braiding hair for the kids..he showed us doing a dance routine for them ( since they love BTS here)... he showed us giving candies...he showed us doing prophetic art with them.. and he showed us playing soccer with them. We prepared as much as we could and finally we asked God where and he led us to a park close to the base. We shared with each other that even if one kid showed up, that the one kid is worth it in Jesus’s eyes. We went and everyone we met ended up being children! I met a girl named Wendy and her sister who wanted to get their nails done. We sanitized our hands of course and wore masks as I did her nails. We got to know each other and I shared the gospel with her. She accepted Christ but it is perhaps because she was Catholic. I shared with her that being a Christian is not just about being good to be accepted, that despite us not being good, we are accepted. I believe she really felt the love of God. 

The last highlighted ministry for me was Racham’s ministry which in Hebrew, Racham means “mercy”. This Christian organization is under YWAM but is also funded by the government. They focus on children from the slums who were abandoned, sexually, physically, emotionally abused, and are in need of help. We are not allowed to post any pictures on social media because of the government and for outside volunteers, we can only visit them once a week for 2 hours. The leaders there asked if we could teach them about unity. There are currently 15 children there, almost 60% boys, 40% girls all under the age of mid teens. We created a skit for them based on 1 Corinthians 12: 14-22 and although it was hard work, they loved it. We did a drawing activity, painted their nails, provided sandwiches and juice, and played soccer with them. They shared in the end how thankful they are to us and one of them shared their testimony of how God has been working in his life. I could see God’s life in his eyes and all the children were so precious. What broke my heart as we were walking back to the base was what each child has gone through. All the girls were raped, and all the boys either sold drugs or were addicted to drugs. One of the boy was found homeless and alone for 2 weeks because his father abandoned him. It hurts my heart so much right now even typing this because when I played with them before knowing, I wouldn’t have ever guessed they went through hell at such a young age. They are so precious to Jesus...and as much as I am angry against the injustice towards them, God reminds me that those offenders will get judgement from Him. He reminds me that although those children are poor on earth, theirs is the kingdom of heaven and they have such a great inheritance. I feel so privileged to get to meet them and love on God’s children.

I can’t believe I’ve been living here for over a month and this is the longest I have been in outreach. I think I am getting used to the humidity? but there are times it kicks my butt and I’m sweating like I’m in a sauna. The food has been difficult too since Mexico doesn’t have that many healthy options and almost everything is too sweet or too salty. The food tastes good don’t get me wrong, but knowing my body, it hasn’t been adjusting well, but I’m managing as best as I can. Oh I almost forgot, we had an extra $3-4,000 donation given to us as a team so after prayer, we decided as a team to pour half of it to a church plant in Stone Island, and the other half for those who are in need of oxygen tanks at Calvary Chapel which is where the pastor who is church planting in Stone Island attends. Right now, Mazatlan is doing the worst out of all of Mexico and the hospitals are at full capacity so those who need oxygen are having to buy them or wait till there is room at the hospital. 

I also had some extra fundings sent by friends and after prayer I felt the Lord asking me to pour it all on 4 different missionaries here at the base. I’m so grateful that just as those who obeyed and financially supported me, I could do the same for someone else and bridge my friend to help those in need in Mazatlan. 

I’m also enjoying my experience in Mazatlan once a week by trying out different local restaurants, buying tourist souvenir’s for friends, and seeing the different parts of the city. We only have 2 more weekends after this so despite feeling tired and ready to go home at times, I want to look back and have no regrets that I could have done more. 

Prayer requests:

1) Grace and endurance to finish this race strong. That we would give it our all and still ask for greater things that God has in store for us to see in Mazatlan. I’m still asking God to not let me be comfortable and content for what He already has done but for even more!

2) Unity. We’ve been reading Hebrews and Psalm together as a team, and our unity held by Christ is what allows us to thrive and not just survive.

3) Health protection: We all have been feeling pretty fatigued.Yoonkyung has tendonitis on her right thumb and wrist, Esther has food poisoning, I have back, shoulder, and neck pain with no cycle still, and Sebin has back pain too. As we encounter more people with COVID during ministry, would we be protected and that we wouldn’t carry to the locals here.

Thank you amigos and amigas <3

Alicia

[sinceileftyoublog]

Andrew Bryant Interview: Sidetracked By Mortality

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“I’m still trying to make something out of my life,” sings Andrew Bryant on “Birmingham”, a shimmery standout on his new album A Meaningful Connection. From an outsider’s perspective, he’s being modest, borderline facetious. The multi-instrumentalist and producer is a member of Water Liars, one of the most underrated rock bands of the past decade, and he’s released many intimate solo records over the years. His latest, self-released and out on July 9th, is perhaps the most reflective, thoughtful, and deep, soul searching without being navel-gazing. 

Dig more, though, and Bryant is still grappling with who he is; A Meaningful Connection is, at its heart, about changing things about yourself. For Bryant, some of these changes are new, and others have been building for decades. Growing up in an Evangelical Christian household, questioning his background, and eventually rejecting religion altogether shapes how he views the world, how he perceives what’s true and what’s not. Indeed, throughout the record, Bryant is concerned with what people believe versus what really is, and he writes about it through the lens of technology and the sociopolitical climate of the past half-decade. “So please, y’all, don’t @ me / I’m trying out this vibe / I don’t have to listen to your truth or your lies,” he sings on the fuzzed-out “Reality Winner”, a song inspired by the formerly incarcerated intelligence specialist and whistleblower with an eerily appropriate name. Of course, Bryant’s aware of social media rabbit holes and that not everything you read online is true: “Folk singers on Twitter / You know they’ve got all the answers,” he quips on album opener “Private Window”. In a way, the rabid pursuit of truth in the era of #FakeNews can prove just as dogmatic as the Trump-voting Evangelicals Bryant grew up with. “You can eat from the tree of the God that keeps you up at night,” Bryant continues on “Private Window”, this time more weary and wise.

Last month, I spoke to Bryant over the phone from his home in Oxford, MS, a year and change into the period of COVID-induced isolation we’ve all gone through, one ripe for the type of contemplation that pervades A Meaningful Connection. Though Bryant started writing these songs in late 2019, lockdown encouraged him to write every day. He got sober during the pandemic--the gorgeous and acoustic “Drink The Pain Away” was written a few months after his last drink--another move that has, among other things, aided his pursuit of not the truth, but self-truths, or perhaps a belief in yourself. “I want to be like Christ, but I don’t want to die,” he sings on “Fight”, wanting to find meaning in life that doesn’t involve atoning for sins or self-sacrifice. Of course, that’s, ironically, a lifelong project for all of us, but to Bryant, making meaningful connections along the way, within himself and with others, is a means to such an end.

Below, read my conversation with Bryant, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: Would you consider A Meaningful Connection mostly inspired by the COVID-19 lockdown?

Andrew Bryant: Absolutely. It’s kind of weird, because the title for me represents more the idea I had going into making the record, what it means to be connected with people. I really wanted to get into how we form connections that are and aren’t personal, and work it out in song. I wanted to use technology in song for the first time. I really don’t like to say things like “text” [in a song]. [But] in one of the first lines of the record, I say, “Twitter.” I don’t really like to do that in songs, because it dates them so specifically. But I really had that intention of going into this record that was doing something for the time. After the lockdown, I really turned inward a lot more than I intended to, with all of it. It ended up being another songwriter’s personal look at himself in the mirror. [laughs]

SILY: The first four words, “folk singers on Twitter,” are funny, because when you think of “folk singers,” you could think of the 60′s, but also the folk tradition. It’s time ambiguous when contrasted with something like Twitter that’s so specific. It really is a funny juxtaposition.

AB: That’s kind of how I approached it at the beginning. There’s a lot about time on the record, and I wanted to juxtapose phrases that were timeless with phrases that weren’t. I don’t think I did all that well--I think I got sidetracked by the idea of mortality because of everything that was going on.

SILY: You sing, “Don’t @ me,” on another song. What’s your relationship with social media? Are you on it a lot?

AB: Yeah, and I was on it a lot last year, like a lot of people. I’ve always had a fairly funny relationship with it. It’s something that came when I was in my 20′s. I grew up in a house without a computer at all. I never connected with people the same way that younger people do. In the last five years, because I’ve been using it for so long, it’s interesting for me to see how it’s become its own force in society and our psyche and the way that we are and relate to one another in a way that doesn’t exist when I was a kid. When I think about my memories as a kid, it’s hard for me to even imagine the way people related to one another.

SILY: On “Private Window”, you also sing, “In another 140 years, there will be another 140 people writing lines about what it all means to let it bleed.” Is the 140 a reference to the one-time character limit of a Tweet?

AB: It is.

SILY: Part of that line that also sticks with me, that I’ve noticed on a number of records that deal with grief, is that there’s almost an absurdity to the idea that coping with something makes for meaningful art. At the end of the day, somebody’s dead.

AB: Absolutely. I think that’s why I got so obsessed with the idea of time. It goes on and on.

SILY: On “Fight”, you seem to be grappling with the idea of legacy when you sing, “I want to be like Christ but I don’t want to die.” Are you saying you want to live for something valuable?

AB: Yeah. I’m still in a lot of ways deconstructing from the Evangelical past I was raised in as a kid. My family still says that being Christlike is the only thing that matters. It’s an easy thing to say, but not to think of it as the ultimate way of being, to die for no reason, or to be sacrificed. I think that song is a way for me to be okay with just who I am. Letting the art that I make be what it is, whether it’s great or bad, whether I think it’s good, just me wanting to be myself and not have to think about being a Christ figure in a lot of ways.

SILY: What’s your current relationship with religion?

AB: I’m an atheist on a really bad day and a little bit of an agnostic on a really good day. I pretty much left it all years ago. It’s one of those things where if you were raised the way I was, completely submerged in it--our entire family’s entire lives revolved around it--if you grew up that way during a formative 18 years of your life, it doesn’t really ever leave. It shapes the way you interact with the world even if you know that you’ve intellectually rejected it. There’s so much underlying inside of you that makes your body and emotions react in a Western Biblical way. So much of our country is like that more than people realize. A lot of our laws, the way we interact and do everything in society is a Judeo Christian, Western way of thought. I’m not naïve to think it doesn’t still have a little bit of control over me, unless I keep it in check.

SILY: How do you think it finds its way into your songwriting?

AB: I think the inward reflection does it a lot. Me judging myself. That’s the worst thing to come from it. How much self-doubt and judgement I put upon myself. It shows up in my work and my producing work. If I want to produce something that’s not me, if it’s not all about me all the time, it’s a struggle. Christians say you’re not supposed to think about yourself, but if you live in that world, for me, it’s all about saving your soul from damnation. It’s not about other people.

SILY: Would you say this album’s central theme of the truth versus lies falls into that idea as well?

AB: For sure. The Trump administration, too. The people who voted for him and put him in office, I knew them. A lot of people who are Evangelicals who voted for him were waiting for someone like him their entire lives. He embodied what they wanted. A lot of my worst fears of what could be possible were right in my face. But the thing that scared me the most was when Trump was talking about fake news. What is truth and what is reality really blurred for the last 5 years. In social media, too, that’s why I really wanted to interrogate that idea of truth and reality. I really wanted to get people to see that sometimes those things are the same, and sometimes they’re not. We’re each able to have our own truths, but they’re actually our beliefs. Where I think I failed on this record is not using the word “beliefs.” There aren’t two truths, there are distinct beliefs.

SILY: Do you distinguish between “the truth” and a personal truth?

AB: Of course. Each person has their own truth. I believe that. And perspective. Truth is fluid always. But 2+2 is 4 is accepted as a truth. The accepted truths coming from math and science is what I call truth. When it comes to everything else, it is just belief. If you grow up with an Evangelical worldview, you grow up with the truth and the only truth. Once you’ve spent 20 years really figuring it out, and these media figureheads like Trump come out and try to reverse it all, it’s so hard. It’s really, really jarring.

SILY: It’s interesting to me that the line “I guess I never really learned how to let go of the truth for a lie,” came in the song “Drink the Pain Away”, because if you think about alcohol, it’s something that can both be a truth serum and something that brings up emotions that can blur the truth. Was that an intentional juxtaposition?

AB: Absolutely. I got sober last year, during the making of the record, and that song was written when I was about 3-4 months sober at that point. But, yeah. [laughs] Alcohol definitely does make things true that weren’t true, or expose some truths that even then weren’t true. Truth serum is a great way to put it.

SILY: Is the song “Reality Winner” named after the person?

AB: It is.

SILY: Is there anything in that song actually about that person? Why did you title it that?

AB: Not really. I had the song written first. I had the riff, and was working on the chorus, and I wanted to write about her, but I went down a Twitter rabbit hole about it one night in particular to the point I was so full of anxiety I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I went to the park and literally wrote the song there in my head. What intrigued me, too, was her name. The name Reality Winner, the metaphors were too great. I needed to write about problems that I was having surrounding the ways she was treated. I sort of made it about myself, which is not great. But hopefully you’re gonna find out about Reality Winner if you don’t know about her already. I’m not that good at writing political songs. [laughs]

SILY: Do you think that “Truth Ain’t Hard To Find” is a response to the previous songs on the record that might state otherwise?

AB: Yeah. That was the last song I wrote for the record. I didn’t know how to sum it up. I always knew it was where I wanted to go at a certain point, but the album got sequenced around a couple times in my brain, and I cut a couple songs off. I knew I needed to say something to bring it all back together, so that was the point of that song.

SILY: The record’s really aesthetically diverse. Some songs are more power pop, while others have a slow lurking stomp. How do you go about juxtaposing a style or melody with the themes of the songs?

AB: Part of the reason for that on this record is during the pandemic, I hadn’t updated a lot of my studio here, and then I [finally] updated my [recording station]. A lot of it was learning on the spot. Basically, whenever I found a [new] sound, it made it in. I’ve been doing this for so long where I just kind of listen to things and just run with it. Usually, when I get everything tracked, I look back and try to make it more cohesive. It’s more all over the place in the early stages of mixing. I ended up re-tracking a lot of guitars that appeared throughout the album and honed in a lot of drum sounds.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the album art?

AB: That’s my wife on the cover. To me, I had an image I wanted to use for the cover that was really dark, that was just her arm in bed, and it was too dark. I wanted two people sleeping in bed together, and I wanted to show time, space, and technology. It’s an image that represents the big ideas of the album. We were actually in bed one day and were reflected in the window. I was thinking of the idea of “Private Window”, windows, reflections of how we see ourselves, how we see ourselves from our phones versus how other people see us. I came up with the idea and invited some friends of mine over and we shot it.

SILY: You mentioned wanting to do some acoustic house shows around this record. How do you feel about stripping these songs back down to play them live?

AB: Not too bad. I’ve been playing around with them. I got a new guitar the other day. They won’t have all the parts there, but that’s how it goes. That’s how it’s been for years. Sometimes, you just try to play the song and sing it well rather than having a huge band playing all the parts. I think it’s a personal and emotional enough record that if I play in a small room, it might come off better than in a club.

SILY: What else have you been working on in the meantime?

AB: I got a couple local folks I’m helping with their records, a local hip hop guy. Kind of their first time. I’ve pretty much got my next record written, which is pretty different from this one or anything I’ve done on the last few albums. Kind of acoustic-based, fictionalized writing. I’m gonna start tracking that in a couple months, I imagine. Trying to keep myself busy. I’m trying to work on a memoir. [laughs] Songwriters are not known for being good authors. Some of them can pull it off.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

AB: That new Godspeed You! Black Emperor record. I’ve been a fan of theirs for a long time. That new Damien Jurado record, I like how short and beautiful it is. I’ve been a fan of his since the 90′s. I just finished watching The Crown on Netflix. My wife had watched that show, and I thought, “I’m not interested in the Royals, I don’t want to watch this.” But I had sort of run out of shit to watch, and I needed a series. I was really surprised how well done that show was. It really interested me. 

#interviews #andrew bryant #a meaningful connection #water liars #reality winner #twitter #covid-19 #godspeed you! black emperor #damien jurado #the crown #netflix #the royal family

[orbemnews]

When It Comes to Taxes, Being Tracked Can Be a Good Thing This article is part of our new series, Currents, which examines how rapid advances in technology are transforming our lives. Two months ago, Jeff Sheu, a private equity executive, moved from San Francisco, where he had lived for close to 20 years, to Summerlin, a Las Vegas suburb. During the stay-at-home period of the pandemic, he realized he no longer needed to be in a city where property was expensive, taxes were high, and his quality of life, now that he was married with a small child, had changed. And with vaccinations available and business travel resuming, he could live somewhere he liked as long as he could get on a plane for work. “I love California, but over time the cost of living got exorbitantly high,” said Mr. Sheu, who was born and raised in that state and went to the University of California, Berkeley. “I grew apart from California.” Moving out of a city for more space in the suburbs is a pretty common goal. It often marks a maturation point for Americans with young children, who value well-regarded schools over a nightlife scene. But given the state Mr. Sheu had left and the high compensation from his work, he was concerned that his departure would not go smoothly. As the managing director of a private equity firm, he is exactly the type of high earner California does not want to lose. When people in his tax bracket leave, the state is likely to audit them to make sure they really have left. With the May 17 tax filing deadline approaching, people who have moved to another state or are working more remotely need to be extra vigilant with their tax documents. For Mr. Sheu, that involves an app on his smartphone that uses location services to track him all the time. What he is sacrificing in privacy, he is gaining in peace of mind, knowing he will be able to show exactly when and where he was in a particular state, should California’s tax authority come after him. Tax-starved states are none too happy to see big taxpayers leave. Enter the need to track meticulously where you are all the time. “As part of the move, there’s a checklist of things to do, like changing your voter registration,” Mr. Sheu said from Atlanta (having been in Tampa, Fla., and Philadelphia in the previous 36 hours, when he had been traveling for work). “Then there’s tracking your days. You can use Excel, but if I get an inquiry from the tax board, it’s just in Excel. They could argue I fat-fingered something. But I’m never apart from my phone. It feels to me like a pretty undebatable way to track where I am.” Tax apps like TaxBird — which Mr. Sheu uses — and TaxDay and Monaeo were created years ago with a different purpose in mind: to help largely affluent retirees avoid a tax burden when they returned to their second home in a high-tax state. But since the pandemic sent people home, and in the process freed them from being in an office, these apps have become relevant for professionals who want to work wherever they want to live. These apps operate on a subscription model and are modestly priced. TaxBird, for example, costs $34.99 a year. After a free 90-day trial, TaxDay charges users $9.99 a month. Monaeo is geared more toward high earners and offers more options for its service, charging $99 a month or $999 a year. “We’ve seen a fourfold increase in our app without any advertising in the past year,” said Jonathan Mariner, founder and president of TaxDay, who was himself audited when he worked for Major League Baseball in New York but lived in Florida. “When people are concerned about privacy, I say you probably have a dozen apps on your phone that are tracking you, and you don’t even know it.” People who use the apps understand their location will be tracked, and the apps acknowledge in their privacy policy statements what data is and is not used. Monaeo makes a point of describing how the data is cataloged — city, state and country, but without specific locations. It also says upfront that it does not share any data. (All three of the apps are vigilant about that.) While each tax app has different levels of precision and features to upload supporting documents, they all fulfill the basic need to prove your location to a tax authority. When it comes time to file taxes, users download reports detailing where they worked with varying degrees of specificity, from a simple day count to more detailed location information. “Over the past year, it’s becoming a contentious issue between states,” said Chester Spatt, professor of finance at the Tepper School of Business at Carnegie Mellon University. “The question is what does it mean to have your employment be in another state in the virtual world? In the physical office world, it was easy.” With hundreds of millions of dollars at stake, states in need of revenue are not going to let the money go without a fight. “This has the potential to become as messy as you can envision it,” said Dustin Grizzle, a tax partner at MGO, an accounting firm. “States are going to say, ‘Hey you’re just using Covid to give you the ability to work remotely.’” One thing is clear: the pandemic has, in fact, extended these types of tax debates to middle-income earners who would like to live somewhere else. At the center of the debate is a magic number: 183 days — half of the year, plus a day — which is the amount of time most states use to determine if a person has been somewhere else for tax purposes. (There are exceptions: Ohio requires residents to live outside of the state for only five months.) Residency, though, is something you have to declare; it is not something you can establish by traveling. For many workers, the issue will be where their employer says their office is. David R. Cohen, a lawyer who focuses on complicated litigation cases, had been traveling from his home in Ohio for decades. During the pandemic, he rented a place in Naples, Fla., with his wife and realized there was no reason to go back to Cleveland in the winter. After renting, he bought a house in Naples a few months ago. “Covid proved everyone could work remotely,” said Mr. Cohen, who uses TaxBird. “It was at that point that I began to think about residency down here.” His incentives went well beyond the weather: He reasoned that most of his cases involved multiple jurisdictions, so he was either traveling or working out of his home anyway. That kind of shift has some states worried. There is currently a tax dispute between New Hampshire and Massachusetts that could end up in front of the Supreme Court. The central question: Where are people working for tax purposes when they are not allowed to go into an office in another state? When the pandemic started, Massachusetts issued guidance, saying if you normally worked in an office in that state, you would have to continue paying income tax there, even if you were working from home. New Hampshire challenged this by filing a lawsuit. “There’s a strong argument that the pandemic should change things,” said Eric Bronnenkant, head of tax at Betterment, the financial advising app. “But one of the things I’m concerned about is if the Supreme Court comes down on the side of Massachusetts, other states will say the Supreme Court gave their approval. That will make remote-worker taxation more complex.” Source link Orbem News #Good #Taxes #Tracked

[melancholiclad3]

It’s Okay Not to be Okay

An open letter to my co-angels,

Please bear with me. This is a super long and dramatic letter. I wrote it in english to suppress the tears while typing this. After reading this, please don’t ask me how am I doing. I have a very long explanation that I can’t tell to you in person without crying. Please, this is for our group only. I will delete it later. 

There was one time when you told me that I don’t usually share my problems to you, and you were right about that. I tend to keep it for myself because I know that I can handle it. I’ve been through a lot and I bounce back with a smile, but this time I’m confessing to you that I am not okay. I am telling you this, not because I want you to pity me but to apologize for my future failure and mistakes that I might commit. I also want to share what am I feeling

For the past weeks, I am suffering from depression. Yeah, I’m finally admitting it. 

These past few weeks, I am barely breathing. I haven’t got a decent sleep since then. Darkness is all over me and none of my hobbies can distract me from all of that dark voices calling and pulling me down. It’s hard to be strong. I am tired. Physically and mentally. 

I am not telling you this  for you to pity me or to worry about me. I am sharing this so that you can understand my actions during this dark episode. I’m gonna be okay, but not today or the days or weeks to follow. I don’t know when, but I will. 

Weeks ago, the family of a dear friend tested positive for Covid-19. She tested negative and it somewhat gave me a relief. Due to our busy schedule (this was during our demo period) I forgot to chat her to ask for her situation. Then I got  a call informing and confirming me about the current situation of their family. That’s when I remember to chat her. she didn’t respond right away and that’s where the sleepless nights started. I fell asleep at almost dawn.

The next day, when I woke up with her reply telling me that she tested positive in the antigen test and will undergo swab test. That struck me like a bomb. Minutes later, I was informed that my uncle died coz of Covid-19 related disease. He was admitted to the hospital and died of heart attack but he was positive in Covid-19. Aside from that, my aunt is also positive and my cousins are in quarantine. 

I was totally devastated. I was dumbfounded. Two bad news within a few minutes time frame.

That hits me hard. The fear on how fast that dreaded virus can take our loved ones away from us. With that, the weight becomes heavier. The paranoia struck me like a ghost. With a heavy heart and dark atmosphere,  I continued living like nothing is wrong. 

Days after, my friend informed me that the result of her swab test will be release later that day and when it turned out positive, she will be admitted to the hospital where her family is. We prayed and hoped for a negative result but it turned out positive.

With heart breaking, I tried to reply to her in a positive tone. I can’t be weak for her. I needed to be strong for her. She then assured me that she will make it coz it seems like a mild case. Nevertheless, fear is still there because covid is covid. It’s a traitor. 

The weeks she’s in the hospital we continued to communicate, informing me that she’s doing okay and her family members are getting better. One by one, they tested negative and it gives me small comfort. 

Then another news came out, I’ve learned that one of my cousin tested positive too, but my family members were have a positive outlook about their situation. they were doing okay and recovering, so that eased one of the mental burden that I was carrying.

Fast forward, I got a good news that my friend will be released soon. She’s the only one left in covid ward among her family members and the weight was starting to feel lighter. 

On the day of her discharge from the hospital, that was supposed to be our happy day, but she informed me that her sister will be intubated coz of low oxygen in her body. Once again the weight becomes heavier but we still have high hopes for her recovery. Hours later, she informed me the dreaded news. Her sister passed away. The hours she was told to go home, her sister was gone already. 

That was the last straw... That happened Monday night. I am not okay. I’m devastated. Last night I didn’t get the chance to sleep coz I just can’t sleep. I tried to distract myself but whenever I tried to sleep, tears will just flow. I am not okay. I feel worthless coz there’s nothing that I can do for my friend. I can’t be with her because of this tough situation. Plus, I fear that they are not yet ready to receive visitors after all of the things that happened to them.

I am not okay for the past few weeks, I am not okay today. I don’t know when will I be okay. I may be smiling but I am so lost... 

While battling with my tears last night, I have this sudden urge to write you this letter. 

I thought that I am strong enough coz I've been through a lot of battle, but I’m wrong. I’m still weak. I’m still human...

Please bear with me. I’m asking for your understanding. I might not function properly for the days or weeks to come and I will apologize for that. I’m tired of fighting, but I will still continue to fight. 

Whenever you’ll see me alone, please let me be. Whenever you’ll see me slacking from work please understand. Whenever you’ll see my eyes fluffy from crying, please don’t ask me why. Whenever you won’t see me around, please don’t look for me. When I’m with you, please act as if you know nothing. I will truly appreciate that. 

I’m fighting a silent battle and I’m looking forward to my self healing. Don’t worry I’m a fighter. I’ll get through this. 

Thank you.

[negahc]

March 2021

It is with great regret and sadness that we announce History Center Board Member, supporter, and dear friend Jackie Cooley passed away On February 9.  She had been a Board member since 2016, but she and her husband Counte had been involved with the History Center for much longer, especially in relation to the White Path Cabin. Along with Counte she had operated Electronic Sales Company for 23 years. She was incredibly active in the community, including as co-founder of For Her Glory, an organization that helps cancer patients in need in medical assistance.  Jackie always had a smile, an encouraging word, and a sharp insight, and she will be truly missed.

We have lots of exciting livestream programs for the month of March! Every Wednesday at 2 PM EST we host free livestream programming to the general public. Every Friday at 2 PM EST we host special Members Only programs.

Become a Digital Member today for as little as $3/month or $35/year at www.negahc.org/member.

View our entire March lineup at www.negahc.org/events

Homeschool Connection is going great. It is hard to believe we are approaching the midterm point of our 2nd semester already! We have just entered the 20th century in our American History Course. Last week we learned about WWI and we time traveled to meet a German Imperial Soldier who had been fighting in the trenches in France.

Is the pirate life for you? Come to the Northeast Georgia's virtual family day made possible by the Ada Mae Ivester Education Center on March 14th from 1PM to 5PM EST and find out. We will have lessons on the history of piracy, the weapons and tactics used by pirates, and you'll get to meet some of the most famous pirates to ever sail the seven seas! We will also talk about pirate legends and why are pirates are so popular today. And to end the family day be sure to join us live at 5pm to play our Pirate Trivia Game. If you win you may just get some treasure!

Thank you to everyone who joined us for our February Family Day: Voices for the Vote! It was held on February 14th which we learned is the League of Women's Voters Day. We had a wonderful time learning about the women's suffrage movement through the virtual tour of our special exhibit, crafts, fashion, and dance. We even had famous suffragists Sojourner Truth, Lucy Stone, and Frederick Douglas come and speak about their views. This program was made possible through the Ada Mae Ivester Education Center and viewers like you!

March Forum: Plagues in History

I know, we're all tired of hearing about, thinking about, and living through COVID-19... but what about some of the other pandemics from the past? Join us for a socially-distanced, mask-free virtual presentation on Tuesday, March 9, at 7PM ET for a MEMBERS ONLY Forum as we look back through history at some of the not-so-good days where plague walked the land and what our ancestors thought about disease and it made it through... Eventually.  

Not a member?  It's not too late!  got to https://www.negahc.org/member and become one in just a few minutes!

We exceeded our February donation goal! Our goal was $200 and our generous viewers and members supported us with $215. Thank you to all of our donors: Eric Falls, Dale Granata, Sue, Leigh Elkins, Rosann, Phil Fortin, Jeanne, Arrelina Bernal, Stella, Anonymous, and HandsOnHomeschool Academy!

In March, we are going to try to reach $250. If you donate toward our March goal, you will be automatically entered into a raffle to win a $15 gift certificate to our online museum shop. Every $5 gets you one raffle ticket! So if you donate $20, you will be entered into the raffle four times. Donate today at bit.ly/march21goal

In our latest episode of Then Again, Glen discusses the geological history of Appalachia with geologist and professor Jim Buecheler from Northern Virginia Community College. Learn the effects of continental collisions, mountain formations, and more in this ROCKIN' episode! You can also follow Jim on his Twitch channel to watch his fascinating geology lessons at www.twitch.tv/geojim2006

Visit our website to listen to this episode (and all other episodes) at: thenagainpodcast.com

The brand new online Museum shop is now open! We have over 70 items currently in the store, with many more items soon to come. We also have discounts of up to 70% off on select books!

Visit our new store at: http://negahistorycenter.square.site

CJ Payne: Digital Studio Intern

My name is CJ Payne, I’m a recent graduate of the University of North Georgia. I got my bachelors’ degree in Film & Digital Media with a minor in Graphic Design. I’m passionate about bringing stories to life through editing videos. I love working on documentaries because true stories have much more of a lasting impact with their message, in my opinion. I am interning at the Northeast Georgia History Center because I want to gain more experience working as a video editor. I enjoy learning about the lifestyles of people in past time periods especially those from cultures other than my own like the Cherokee nation. There’s much to learn from people living in a different era than mine.

I love spending time on set with friends, watching movies, and hiking. I dabble with outdoor photography and take way too many pictures of my dog. I also love to read and take my dog for long walks.

Andrews Gless: Digital Studio Intern

Raised in North Georgia, I fell in love with music and movies at a young age. From  action movies to historical biopics and classic hip-hop to opera, music and movies are something that I have always loved. History is very special to me. Apart from being one of my favorite subjects in school, I love learning about different figures and events through time. There is always a lesson about life that can be learned through the study of history.

I have a Bachelor's Degree in Film and Digital Media with a Production Concentration from the University of North Georgia, where I was able to work on several different award winning films throughout Georgia and the South, (A Devil in God's Country, Dead Winter,  Halfway). I wanted to continue to hone my editing and production skills. The History Center offers the unique opportunity of being able to help produce different types of content for all ages with a  variety of professionals. I hope that I will be able to assist in bringing more stories of North Georgia and the United States to life. I love good stories, great food and movies of all types. I'm an amateur vinyl collector, avid gamer and I can always be found sharing a laugh with my close friends and family.

From Cheryl and Jerry Vandiver in memory of Dinah Wayne, Jack Frost and Frank Norton Sr.

From Cathy and Tony Herdener in memory of Frank Norton Sr., Dinah Wayne, Jack Frost, Jackie Cooley, Jim Walters and Jo Ann Adams.

From Sandra Williams in memory of Jackie Cooley and Jack Frost.

[purplesurveys]

1068

What internet browser do you use?  Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now?  Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday?  April 21st.

Thoughts on kids?  I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents?  The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered?  I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?  No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted?  They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?  We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion?  Is there something you intend to buy in the near future?  Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have?  What's the screensaver on your computer?  Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl?  THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021?  Who was the last person to send you a message on social media?  ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown?  Have you smiled at any point during the last hour?  What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel?  What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo?  Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine?  When was the last time you had a pillow fight?  Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means.  What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live?  Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball?  Have you ever had a water balloon fight?  Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly?  Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe. 

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza?  Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year?  I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes?  My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before?  Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve?  What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it?  Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? 

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day?  I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack?  Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID?  For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree?  Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn?  Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting?  Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic?  Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?”  Too much.

Do you own fairy lights?  No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods?  No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology?  No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own?  One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet:  I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have?  Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated?  Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?  I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes?  No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use?  I don’t use makeup.

#survey #surveys

[eminentfocus]

The Shot Into The Dark

It hit me like a bullet.  I couldn’t breathe.  My ears rang.  Everything stopped for a moment.  The world stood there, completely suspended.  Just long enough to feel my heart beating out of my chest.  It touched way too close to my spirit for me not to feel it!  Was it another panic attack?

”Childhood trauma:  Research indicates that children are especially vulnerable to trauma because their brains are still developing.  Children experience a heightened state of stress during terrible events, and their bodies release hormones related to stress and fear.  This type of developmental trauma can disrupt normal brain development. As a result, trauma, especially ongoing trauma, can significantly affect a child’s long-term emotional development, mental health, physical health, and behavior.  The sense of fear and helplessness may persist into adulthood. It leaves the person at a significantly higher risk of the effects of future trauma.”- Jane Leonard, Medical News Today

I’m safe.  I “ground myself”, just as I was taught in therapy.  I stay open-minded and read on, already triggered.  Risk factors for PTSD include previous trauma, physical pain/injury, having little support post-trauma, having to deal with other stressors simultaneously (ie. financial trouble), and a previous history of anxiety or depression.  Um… Well, hey! Check all those bad boys off that list for me my friend! And that was all before the age of six!  And the good news is that the trauma party had only just begun! Whoo-hoo!

Sarcasm is a negative way broken people deal with pain, not healthy, stop… another helpful bargain I was taught while in therapy to cope in my own head.  I move on but the doom really sets in here though: “as little as 6.8% of Americans report a lifetime prevalence of PTSD”.  Less than 10% of the people in America can understand, relate, or empathize with my particular kind of crazy.  The one mental health problem that is caused and deepened by isolation, is found in isolated numbers as well, it seems.

Now I’m truly annoyed because I know there has to be an answer.  I’m approaching 40 years of this mental fiasco and there has to be more!  I’m fully pissed off into my trigger at this point which gives me just enough fuel to flow seamlessly into the rabbit hole.  “Evidence supports CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) as the most effective approach for PTSD.”  It is based on the theory that how we interpret, or how we think about the events of life that we experience, affects how we choose to behave, and more so, how we feel.  “Problems arise from the meanings people give to events, as well as the events themselves.”  So… It’s a simple mind-mapping problem already isolated by modern psychology?  Well, why is it so hard to fix in such a small population, then?

Are you ready for it?  It’s a very simple, easy to understand, and scientifically proven answer.  Because CBT does not work.  Period.  If it did, you would not see that 6% reporting rate, am I right?  Ready for the TLDR of the rabbit hole directly to the entry of the crazy train?  Here we go!  This is the fun part for me!

Training someone to turn off the automatic responses for survival that are deep-rooted into the electricity and hormones of the brain does not work.  It is built into our fight or flight mode survival wiring long before birth.  You cannot turn it off or manipulate it too much outside of a lobotomy.  You cannot role play or replay situations and tell someone a “better way” to react “next time” in effort to remap it.  This not only adds new microtraumas of self-doubt, but also undoes any self-mastery over positive trauma with emotional confusion.  It does not work.  It makes it worse. Actually.  It is a trick to distract you from fear for short periods of time.  Merely sitting in a room with other people “like me” and sharing my trauma aloud during a group therapy session, nope!  That does not normalize the internal stigma and shame that I do not “think right” along with the other mere 6% of the country.  It reinforces the western idea of toxic positivity and goes against the very things that make us human.  It does not work, it only keeps you busy enough to worry about the pressure from the program’s “problem-specific, goal-oriented approach that needs the individual’s active involvement to succeed”.  It is busy work that allows a crazy person to compartmentalize, just enough to not look insane in public.  That’s all.

By using our pure innate nature as a compass, I have found that we are not organically designed to be happy all the time.  We are purely fueled by grace and gratitude, which can only be obtained in the present moment.  Fulfillment does not happen by achieving personal goals or smashing records.  It is quite the opposite of that, actually.  The story that you tell yourself daily is just a conditioned and patterned reinforcement tool that not only converts you into a battery for your feelings, but also destroys your environment in the process.  Your environment is simply a symptom of the core beliefs you hold onto. Hard truth.  This is not just an opinion I’m talking about here, but objectively looking through science with an ontology-colored lens.

Our current mental health system and the confluence of COVID-19 has left the entire world in more wreckage than anyone truly cares to talk about. Until today.  Case in point: Suicide rates are up over 600% what they were this time last year.  40% of patients have reported daily feelings of depression and anxiety with their general practitioners within the last three months.  The number one complaint in this particular symptom category in the WHO research finding, was the feeling of “impending doom”.  Over 80% of those same patients listed this as a minor complaint only, meaning they experience these thoughts 1-3 times a week.  To clarify: 40% of the Americans who have seen their doctor within the last fiscal quarter are reporting the number one symptom of PTSD threatens them daily. 80% experience it 1-3 times a week!

The sky is really falling.  I am really talking.  Loud.  And.  Clear.  Are you are ready to challenge everything you thought you knew?  

#TheRabbitHole

[ad-smr]

when I talked about 2020

I described 2020 as a year full of plot twist moments that, in the end, made me questioning my wants, my will, and my heart more in the end. Some things still considerably not twisted, for instance : graduated with MSc. However, this year is so... well, I can tell you the full story here.

1. Worked my master thesis in a company : as my dream, but...

After long and hopeless efforts, not added being pressured by the facts that the flatmate got bunch of master thesis interviews in a week and I was rejected by a company due to the language barriers, I finally got a topic for my master thesis in December 2019. I started working on the topic in January 2020 and expected to finalize it on June 2020 - the normal scheme. The topic itself is not really that interesting for me, at first, since I was projecting myself to work on a smart city issues instead of... e-scooter. But then during the process, I learned many things that I find so fascinating. Not being added the supportive supervisors, especially from the company side. I also enjoyed the experience of having my own space for work in the office and the free flow coffee. Even though I did not sit on the same floor with the other employees, I still found it fascinating when I could see any researchers from different department (and subject!) worked so dedicated on their own project. And sometimes, a fika conversation with those people (even though I have a tendency to avoid conversation with strangers)

Then plot twist happened...

The corona-things happened and it made us harder to go to the office. We need to familiarize ourself with the concept of work from home, which is for me, never worked. I also found a delay on my research since it was almost impossible to see people went outside in Stockholm due to the COVID-phobia. I could not manage to go to the office until the end of summer and when the opportunity to go back to the office came, surprise-surprise... the whole floor was empty. There were not even a single furniture left in the floor. I found it later that the other department moved their office to another building of KTH and it means, the only active room in the floor was mine. Uh oh, and not being added the fact that my other classmate that worked on the same topic also went back to the UK since the first outbreak of COVID-19 hit Europe. It means.... I am being alone for almost four months.

It made me realized later that no matter how much I hate social interaction, I always need someone to talk to while working. I enjoy talking to people in the middle of the working hours, just to discuss about what types of sunblock that is worth to try on the Scandinavian weather. It also made me remembering my old days in the old office in Indonesia where I used to have the most compatible gang for office gossips during a those hard (but lovely) times. 

Well, well.. I survived this once, but, could I handle it more ?

2. Suspected to be infected by COVID-19, but...

I was in the Netherlands when the first case of COVID-19 was identified both in the Netherlands and in Sweden around the end of February. I discussed with my friend about it and we believed that corona was just happening in China, which is far far away from Europe. I also remember that I already planned for an autumn holiday in the Netherlands and booked a ticket for stay there three weeks. After a very usual goodbye, because we believe that we will meet again in April, I went back to Stockholm with a very healthy mental. But not physically...

A week later, I found myself could not move my body for an inch from the bed since the morning till the night. I just found my body so tired, which was so peculiar. Ah, it must be because I forgot to take some pills after the period time. But then, another symptoms occurred. I got light fever every morning. Then, it went away and change into a dry cough during the evening. That was strange because I have no history of dry coughing for a lifetime (I always have a phlegm cough due to my allergy). I also lost appetite for several days.

However, due to so much chaos that also happened around the society outside my bedroom, I could not do anything except praying that I will not die. After two weeks, I slowly gained my energy and started to feel hungry after not eating anything for a day. Of course everybody was panicking but well, there were no proof that I was positively infected by this virus. I got an antibody test on June when the government finally provided a free public test for everyone. The result ? Negative. 

I wanted to believe that I never been infected with this virus but it turned out, I had too many moments where I was severely ill. A kind of illness that includes various symptoms of COVID. My circle also got infected one by one with this virus. However, the latest PCR test that I took also showed a negative result. I think this is one good thing for me during 2020, being immune to corona. 

3. Obsessed with research and decided to pursue PhD, but...

Due to the delayed that I faced during my thesis, I got many free times during the summer. While waited for a survey result, I had not much things to do during summer. With no summer vacations on the list (yes, another cancelled plan to Iceland), I had no other options than traveling through my browser. Then, a very brilliant idea flashed - applied for PhD position. I started to look for an opportunity on my own campus, which was currently has an opening on a smart city topic. An experience on applying to PhD position in Sweden also made me realized that.. almost 90 percent of PhD positions being offered has been reserved for someone. Ugh...

Slapped by this reality, I expand my application to another countries. Despite of a personal feeling that I want to leave Sweden, I also think that it would be nice if I could move to a specific place - let’s say Netherlands. But then, I was not the only one who think that. I got rejected by two campuses in the Netherlands, even though it was more because of a not suitable background to the project. Well, I also got rejected by UvA because of... I don’t know, inexperienced? Week by week then one day I got an e-mail from one of the university and they said that they want to have an interview with me. Started by a disbelief feeling, I went through all processes and by the end of July (not even finished with the master thesis!) got accepted to one of the PhD program. Guess where? Estonia!

In what right mind that I looked for a place that has more extreme weather then Sweden?

It is what it is.. Here I am in Estonia, waiting for a new semester comes while contemplating that is this a right choice that I made, at least, for now?

4. Optimistically going back to Indonesia after study, but...

Here I am in another part of northern Europe. 

I remember that in one day during summer, I had a light conversation with my flatmate about our time after graduating. I, with my realistic mind, said to him that I will go back to Indonesia and looked for a job in Jakarta. It was based on a fact that I did not mastering the local language, which is a mandatory for people working on a social science field, and it would be easier to find a job where I could speak the local language fluently. I also believed that at least, I will go back to work in my old office. Not really a bad plan though...

But then, twisted. He, with an excellence track record with several Swedish companies and IT background, was the one who go back to Indonesia. And me, as explained before, got an opportunity to stay longer in the land of Europe. What a joke! 

5. Decided to be just friend with him, but...

We can’t. 

As you know that we made so many errors in our friendship for the past two years, including an affair and countless fights and another affair, I (at least) could not stand to being in a friendship with him. We already built too many emotional attachments that, during our time in Stockholm, made us hard to stay away from each other. The longest fight that we had was for two months and, honestly.. it was killing me. However, I hated him that much and I assured that being in a silent mode with him would make us easier to last our friendship, at least until we separated life. 

Then it was his birthday. And no one remembered it. And I was not cruel enough to be one of them. So, I sent him a birthday chat and... we were back in a normal relationship again.

I knew that we should not start over again because, yes, it caused another error in our relationship. This one, too much. Later on, I decided to cut up my relationship with another person since I did not want him to know (or as simple as realized) what happened. I also didn’t have enough guts to tell him everything. Including the fact that I am no longer like him that much. Well, I guess now it’s a time for me to befriended myself again.

Oh, what a year.

#personal

[khalilhumam]

On the Path to End Violence Against Women: Supporting civil society organisations to combat Gender-Based Violence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory

New Post has been published on http://khalilhumam.com/on-the-path-to-end-violence-against-women-supporting-civil-society-organisations-to-combat-gender-based-violence-in-the-occupied-palestinian-territory/

On the Path to End Violence Against Women: Supporting civil society organisations to combat Gender-Based Violence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory

Ghalia, 49 years old, lives in Gaza and has been involved in Oxfam’s interventions in the Occupied Palestinian Territory (OPT). Photo credit: Kieran Doherty: Oxfam

Violence against women in the Occupied Palestinian Territory (OPT) does not only stem from deeply-rooted patriarchal norms, but also from the experience of the Israeli occupation. Existing literature shows a direct link between the increase in Sexual and Gender-Based Violence (SGBV) and exposure to occupation-related violence. The more people are exposed to violence from the occupation or perpetuated by settlers, the more likely they will take it home with them. The correlation between political violence and patriarchal structures means levels of violence in Gaza are higher than in the West Bank. Three consecutive wars and an ongoing Israeli blockade have taken away people’s freedom of movement and ability to trade, leading to a deterioration of the economic situation, and a lack of economic and human security. Those have in turn increased Palestinians’ levels of stress particularly at home, making women more vulnerable to domestic abuse. The COVID-19 pandemic has exacerbated the issue of violence against women worldwide, as it did in OPT. Many civil society and women’s rights organisations have reported an increase in the number of phone calls and consultations sought by SGBV survivors during lockdowns. For example, the Women’s Center for Legal Aid and Counselling (WCLAC), witnessed throughout the lockdown period an increase in the number of women who reported threats to their lives, particularly noticeable one month into the state of emergency. A recent study conducted by the Oxfam-led Naseej project confirmed for instance that in East Jerusalem, 99% of respondents agreed that violence against women and girls (VAWG) increased since the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as 84% of respondents from Jericho and the Jordan Valley, and 77% from Hebron. Such figures indicate that the levels of violence in these areas have been much higher in the year 2020. With the decreased capacity of service providers throughout the pandemic due to the restrictions of movement and lockdowns, the impact of VAWG will be harsher.

Typology of SGBV in Palestine

Data from the 2019 Violence Survey of Palestinian Society conducted by the Palestinian Central Bureau of Statistics (PCBS), indicates that 29% of currently/ever-married women (aged 18-64) reported that they had experienced SGBV at least once in their lifetime. The survey also found that 9% of women currently married or ever married (18-64) experienced sexual violence from their husbands. However, all CSOs interviewed for the Naseej study (16 organisations) agreed that the prevalence of violence in Palestinian society is much higher than what was published in the survey. Psychological violence is the most common type of abuse detected by the PCBS, affecting 57% of the women who reported some form of violence in the preceding year. The data from PCBS on the prevalence of psychological violence is backed up by data from the Naseej research, as 78% of female respondents agreed that verbal abuse is the most common type of violence. Much of the violence committed against women is justified by social norms, impunity for the perpetrator, and the expectation of tolerance from the survivor not only by family members but also wider society. Survivors of violence are expected to tolerate and endure the abuse for the sake of their family and children.  

“The law is not fair to women, even when going to court to get custody, divorce, or inheritance, they tell you that the law is with women…. but when I complain about my brother or ask for my rights, why am I asked to leave? ….. [they say] Just bear with it for your husband and children, and for your parents.”(Female respondent from Gaza)

Harmful social norms like the culture of “honour” including what is known as “Eib” (shame) engulfs women and girl’s behaviours and bears the expectation that women should remain silent if they experience any form of violence. If they refuse to do so, the violence that is committed against them is justified. As one respondent said: “to summarize it we live in a culture of what is frowned upon by society, “Eib”- shame. Which is a set of rules and behavioural limitations…For example, it is frowned upon for a female to go out at night or walk with her brother.” Perpetrators of violence are usually known to survivors and are in their circle or community: the top three perpetrators of violence according to the baseline survey are the husband (40%), father (24%) and relative (17%).

Women’s Rights Organizations leading the efforts to end SGBV

Women’s Rights Organisations in Palestine, including many of Oxfam local partners, are active in the battle to tackle violence against women. Their collective effort for example supported the development of a national referral system which keeps on improving. WROs are also engaged in different awareness-raising activities. Since 2004, they have in fact been strongly advocating for the Palestinian Authority (PA) to pass a Family Protection Bill that is crucial in the fight to end VAW in OPT. They provide services to SGBV survivors and refer them to get the specialized support they need. WROs continue to work with different segments of society in order to change harmful social norms that perpetuate and justify violence against women, raising awareness on the negative impact of VAW and on concepts of gender equality. Thanks to the Naseej project implemented by Oxfam, local civil society organisations and women’s rights organizations, we will be able to channel financial support to these actors to improve SGBV services and referral systems, to support their work on harmful social norms and their advocacy efforts to improve legislation to eliminate violence against women. At the same time, we realize that because violence against women is a global issue, having the space to meet, discuss and reflect is incredibly significant to women’s rights organisations fighting to eradicate SGBV in the region. By providing such spaces for these organisations to exchange, network and learn from each other’s experiences, we hope to contribute with concrete steps to the eradication of VAW in the region.

Note on methodology: This piece is based on data collected between September 9th and October 1st 2020 by conducting a survey with 623 respondents, including 208 males and 415 females. The respondents were randomly selected from 8 governorates in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. In the West Bank, respondents were randomly selected in Qalqilia, Salfit, Jericho, East Jerusalem, and Hebron. Data collection was conducted with respondents from Khan Younis and Rafah in the Gaza Strip. Moreover, 5 focus groups with members of vulnerable communities were conducted, in addition to 17 in-depth interviews with psychosocial and legal experts from women’s rights service providers, and 17 interviews with experts from CSOs, governmental institutions and international organizations, focusing on the types of services they provide and in which areas.

Author

Razan Wazwaz

Razan Wazwaz is the Gender Project Manager of the Naseej project at Oxfam in the Occupied Palestinian Territory and Israel.