restorerjourney

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A new unexpected adventure

April 5, 2022

It’s been almost already over half a year being back from DTS. Time goes by so fast and so much has already happened. Most of the things that are unexpected but in a very good way and God has told me this year would be an adventure. He sure did deliver. Some of you guys know that I’ve been wrestling since coming back to Virginia whether if I was supposed to do the leadership training program with Surfing the Nations located in Hawaii this January. It’s was a challenging time, but looking back I could see why God had other plans for me to stay. In he end, whether if it was Him testing my obedience or if it is a temporary delay, I can only take it one day at a time. I am so grateful for my accountability and community that helped me make this decision and to be at peace about it. Yet I still was itching to want to begin my journey of faith to see if God really is calling me to do business as missions. I visited Kona, Hawaii in January because my team leader wanted me to share my testimony and there would be free housing. It gave me the opportunity to reconnect and remember my experience and all that God has done for me there. I also reconnected with my friend’s dad who happens to be the YWAM business as missions program leader in Colorado. Because of the pandemic, this program became available virtually and the idea of doing this program grew bigger and bigger in my heart over the past few months. This program is 3-month long which I contemplated on doing however things came up and my body could not handle all the stress that I was going through. So I decided to do the seminar version which allows me to do a two week course load of this program for 3 months so that at least I could get my feet wet on knowing if this program is a good fit for me.

It’s been already a month, and I’m learning so much already. 

What is business as missions (BAM)?

“BAM is a holistic transformation of individuals and societies. BAM is about real, viable, sustainable, and profitable businesses; with a Kingdom of God purpose, perspective and impact; leading to transformation of people and societies spiritually, economically, socially, and environmentally- to the greater glory of God.”

“It is strategy for ministering to people and communities, the primary aim is direct impact for the Kingdom of God through relationship and service, the business is the ministry”

“Business embodies the essence of the Kingdom of God. Without business governments have no taxes, people have no work, communities have no quality of life. “

This program has opened my eyes and challenged me to read scripture and see what it says about business. Surprisingly the bible had a lot to say! There were so many examples of businesses whether if it was God Himself who created the world, or Joseph who used business to save His people from the famine. The bible is filled with many values that God wants to speak to us about how His original design on business. 

I have about two more months until I finish the program and I hope to continue to remain disciplined till the end. I do have some prayer requests to share...

Please pray for a revelation of what kind of business God wants me to do. To be honest,  I feel very incompetent right now. I never thought of myself as a business woman, I’m not someone who has many ideas, nor do I have a “problem solver” type of personality. The only thing that I could think of that would make sense is to do an optometry practice or a cafe. I know that whatever it may be, it would be a business that will bring restoration to the community, it would provide job opportunities to the marginalized, and bring the gospel through developing relationships and bringing transformative change to the community. I just don’t know what it specifically it’s supposed to look like. So this idea needs to be 100% God, because I am still kind of clueless. But I trust that in my weakness, He will fulfill His promises and my weakness does not get in the way of His plans. His ways are always better. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and go on this new adventure with me! 

-Alicia 

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Remix and Dallas

September 22, 2021 

It’s been about a week since graduating from DTS and a lot has been going on more than I can possibly imagine…but let me start with what happened during my last week in DTS.

What I remember most is it being bittersweet. Part of me was ready to go back home and see my friends and family. Part of me was unsure what it would feel like being apart from my tight knit community that I developed for the past 6 months. Part of me was ready for my space and room of my own, part of me will dearly miss always having close sisters in my room. Part of me is ready to move forward to what God has in store for me. Part of me was afraid of the uncertainty and that I have no control which of course isn’t comfortable. Part of me no longer wants to live the way that I used to live putting God in a box and although having this comfortable life, not truly feeling free in Christ. Part of me is afraid of letting go of control and truly having to depend on God with EVERYTHING. Part of me thinks I am crazy at times. Part of me thinks this is what truly living looks like and I have finally woken up. 

I constantly felt like I was in a tug-of-war between my flesh, soul, and spirit...but with my mind being renewed in Christ by fighting that alone time with Him, I’m always at peace that I don’t have to be in control of everything and I can trust in God. My mother when she first came to Hawaii, I felt that it was important to share with her the news of me possibly coming back to Honolulu to be a missionary with surf the nations. Knowing her, I knew there was no better time than for her to see with her own eyes what organization I felt the Lord has put on my heart. Am I completely sure? No, because where then is faith, right? For 6 months, we were trained to hear and discern God’s voice and for what I’ve known so far, I feel this is the direction He is leading me. Was my mom shocked? Absolutely. Fear seized her and she had a real difficult time processing it. We decided though to pray about it and trust that God would give both of us the peace and open doors towards this direction. Is it my life to live? Of course, but God gave me the conviction to honor my parents and give them time for Him to change their hearts. What’s different about me before DTS is that I would want to control and plan every little detail about the future, but now I realize that it just lead me to fear and distress when something doesn’t go to plan. The past 6 months, I’ve personally experienced God providing and moving in His ways which always trumped mine. His ways are better. Plain and simple. And I don’t have to stress about it. I do plan still but I still keep in mind to leave room for God and loosely hold things if He calls me to surrender and move a different direction.

Literally I am taking it one day at a time and God always provides. As my team members one by one left the house each day, I clung onto God tighter. The last day when there was only me and another team member, God moved in my life so deeply that I tear up every time I shared this with another (feel free to ask me about it). Even when I was the last one, God provided Door of Faith church members to take me out for lunch and provide all my needs and more. He is so so faithful. Months before during my lecture phase, one of our speakers, Pastor Derek invited me to stay with him and his family in Dallas, Texas. It was unusual because he only asked me and I didn’t really know him but after praying about it, we both felt God was possibly allowing me to have a week of transition before going back to VA…and here I am!

Even as I was flying to Dallas, I literally kept asking God…why am I going to this pastor’s house? What is your purpose God? Do you want me to move here later in the future? Already being here for 3 days, God has opened my eyes to know what raising a family looks like, how to discern what is going on with politics and the world, and to walk in the fear of the Lord. I’ve been thankfully sleeping 8 hours each day for the first time in a while. I’m still processing a lot and being in Texas where it’s a red state…has been interesting haha but I’m still processing and talking to God through this. I also have the opportunity to visit one of my closest friends in San Antonio before coming to VA so I’m excited to see what God has planned for us as we reunite. After that I will finally be heading home end of September!

 Prayer request:

1) Deeper intimacy with Jesus and daily revelations. I have had a lot to process transitioning back to reality and fear is always crouching to overtake me. All I can do is abide in Jesus and walk in spirit and in truth. Please pray for protection and continual revelations of the love of Christ for me.

2) Breakthrough of fear over my parents. Please pray for God’s perfect love to cast out all fear in my parents as they pray through this decision that I am walking in faith. Please pray that all evil assignments would be broken off and that they would become parents who walk in the fear of the Lord.

3) My team members. We are all dispersed and I’m sure we all have our individual spiritual warfare. Please pray that they would continue to fight for their intimate time with Jesus and to surround themselves with community.

 Mahalo,

 Alicia

[restorerjourney]

Remix so far

September 9, 2021

The first two weeks were rough. I was in Oahu about 6 years ago and it was one of the most relaxing places I’ve ever been to! So I was asking myself two weeks ago why I am so stressed now? it wasn’t easy feeling stressed with the unknown and having to deal with what I was going to do with my future. I would unconsciously clench my jaw and have jaw pain at the end of the day. My acne flared up to the worst it has been which made me more stressed and question why God was allowing this. We as a team had a lot of moments of miscommunication because of our living situation initially. I also felt I was having troubles with a different person each day. Living in close proximity with 15 people and one toilet...let me tell you, is truly sanctifying lol..but praise God we haven’t killed each other yet and our relationships as a family has gotten deeper than ever before.

In this season, God invited me to physically rest and enjoy this month which was very difficult because I was initially anxious. I was disappointed at first with my anxiety, because I felt all that I learned from DTS flew out the window, but by His grace, He walked with me to really enjoy my time here. It was a time I might not get to rest like this and one of the pastors here that we are affiliated with even lend his car to us for a whole month free of charge! This was.a blessing in disguise as a lot of us were getting low in our remaining funds. We mostly went to the beach, snorkeled, and hung out in cafes or at home. In the morning we had different speakers come and give us words of wisdom and their testimonies on how to transition back to our specific sphere of life God has placed us. Here are some gold nuggets that I compiled with the different speakers...

-try to understand your greatest weakness

-pursuing success is so different from pursuing obedience

*Who am I becoming by what I do today?..your future changes by what you do today.

-What am I going to bring from YWAM to the world?

-What is the biggest problem in the world? It is the lack of understanding who God is.

-The more you understand who God is, the more life make sense.

-The two greatest moment in your life. The moment you were born and the moment you know why.

-Did you know that God is fun?

-You are investing in yourself to invest others. 

-Every story in the bible is to teach you character.

-Your talents take you to the top but your character is what keeps you there. 

-If you see a reward for change, you will always change. It’s a mindset! 

-Only place you can grow in God is usually in discomfort

-God always rewards those who obey

-Delayed obedience = disobedience

-To hear God, obey God, and let Him deal with the consequences.

-It’s always right, to do what’s right, even if you don’t feel like it. Everyday we face this decision.

-Our generation wants the reward before obedience. Our reward for obeying God is more responsibility but our generation wants less responsibility.

-Am I living inside a box of comfort? the known? the dependent on self? Outside of the box is when we are truly depending on God and He is inviting you. It’s called faith. 

-How are you reshaping your lifestyle to follow Christ instead of fitting the traditional life style?

-Christ follower lifestyle is to follow Matthew 28:16-20 and 22: 37-40. 

-Am I worried about surviving? With the mentality of surviving, you stepped out of God’s hand and are trying to taking things in your control. 

-In my lifestyle, how do I feel and where does this come from? A lot of the times it is lack of rest.

-In my lifestyle, am I a new creation of God? 

-Did you know comparison is a sin? God never compares you with someone else.

-When we abide in Jesus, we get to live in so much freedom!

-Everything belongs to God. If you buy bread at the grocery store, did you create that bread? How could one say it is theirs when they didn’t create it? When you were born, could you claim and say it is your life? Did you make that decision while you were being born? When you harvest a crop, could you say it is yours? Did you make it grow or did you only plant the seeds and water it? All belongs to Him.

-God’s kingdom works like water...flowing from where there is abundance to the lowest place and it evens out. 

During this process of rest and spending time with God and community, He asked me one day what I would like to do after DTS. He also asked me what would make me happy? I thought of so many different choices but I realized in the end, I just wanted to follow Jesus. I want what’s best and I trust Jesus gives me the best so I’ll follow Him. I just honestly couldn’t imagine my life without Him and I want to live in the new freedom I’ve gained in Christ to the next chapter God is taking me. During that time, one of the speakers named Tom and Cindy Baeur came and left such a lasting impression on me. They are in their 70′s who started a ministry and non-profit organization called Surf the nations 10 years ago. Personally they are solid in Christ, truly exemplifying what a man and woman of godly character looks like, and their lifestyle is close to what I would like to do when I am at their age. Their obedience to God is evident by the fruits in their ministry. They felt that the Lord called them to market themselves as a nonprofit organization which has opened so many doors to those who do not know Christ and even other countries like North Korea. They got the opportunity there to develop relationships with them and share the gospel. They have a passion for investing in the youth and being a light into their communities locally and globally. They run a discipleship program similar to YWAM but it’s only 3 months long. Another fruit is the impact they made in their community locally. Through God’s supernatural provision and their “yes” to following Him, they were able to purchase a strip of buildings where it used to be part of the red light district here in Oahu. What was a porn shop became a self-sustainable coffee shop to support this organization. What was a strip club and liquor store, is now a boutique and surf shop where all proceeds goes to help the organization and empower other small businesses globally. This is just scratching the surface. 

Long story short, during my DTS and doing life with my team, I had the opportunity to learn more about my gifts and talents God has given me. I also have been walking in faith to what I believe God is leading me towards starting a business. Before DTS, business was the last thing I would want to do because my mom owns one and I saw how it robbed my mom’s attention from our family. I also couldn’t imagine what a Christian business would look like. I just knew if I were to do business, I would want it to be self-sustainable, to be a light in my community, and to impact globally either directly or indirectly by empowering the weak and marginalized communities. I just couldn’t imagine it was possible until I saw their organization and what God was doing. I also realized that when I am old, I could see myself so much happier impacting and discipling the younger generation and doing missions till the day I die. I felt like finally I made a realization to what truly makes me alive and flourish and it is to be in the mission field following Christ wherever He chooses to take me. 

That’s when I felt a pull in my heart from God to consider doing a leadership training program with Surf the Nations which consists of 15 months of missionary living. Three months are dedicated to training, and the 12 months is to activate what has been trained. Because they are a pioneering organization and they are launching a business ministry as well, I felt the timing couldn’t be more perfect. 

So for now I am saying “yes” to what I believe God is calling me to join the Surf the Nations Leadership Training Program here in Oahu for the next year and a half! 

Am I scared? Heck yea. But I’m just called to walk in obedience and allow God to confirm as I walk in faith. I’m still praying through the process and I believe God will clearly confirm it to me in His perfect time and He will open and close doors if this is from Him. 

Prayer request:

1) To enjoy the rest and community that we have with each other before we depart back to our homes

2) My mom is coming this Sunday and I believe God is using this time to help her experience possibly the next chapter in my life as I decide to move to Oahu.

3) To focus my eyes on Christ as He walks me towards the next chapter in my life.To not let fear, comparison, doubts, and other opinions hinder me from walking in obedience to Him.

Mahalo~

Alicia Kim

[restorerjourney]

Remix

08/25/2021

Aloha again! We finally are starting our remix session here in Honolulu, Hawaii! We have been so blessed to arrive here all together because we almost lost one of our team members! Our own leader! 

So quick story... after sharing this, most of you guys will probably never like myself fly with American Airline EVER AGAIN. Leaving to Mazatlan, our flight departure changed to leave one hour early, then when we arrived to Phoenix for our first layover, one of our team leaders lost their passport in the bathroom because she had a headache and just lost track of her stuff. Thankfully she was still able to fly just with a boarding pass and when we arrived to LA for our second layover...this layover was an overnight layover so we already booked a hotel overnight, when we collected our checked bags, both of our leaders lost their checked bags! We were all like...ok what is going on..it felt like a spiritual attack towards our leaders, so we all gathered and prayed. It was so hard to see my beloved leaders suffer like this when they sacrificed so much and don’t have much themselves to begin with. I wrestled a lot about this issue with God and He promised that none of their suffering was in vain, that their belongings would be returned, and that He is going to reward them more than they could possibly imagine. The next day on our flight to Honolulu we find out our leader although she is a South Korean citizen, is still able to fly with her Korean driver’s license to Honolulu. We were just so happy that not one of our team members was left behind and it really was by God’s grace. It’s been four days since we arrived and we found out recently that someone found my team leader’s passport! We are still waiting on the other checked bags, but I have a feeling they will return. 

So back to remix here in Honolulu, when we arrived we found out that we...all 15 of us are going to be living in one house...with one toilet and 2 showers. We really are living like a family. And honestly it feels like it and it feels so good. My heart is bursting with joy because I am so thankful to see how far we have come. As scary and stressful it was when we first arrived, we have been adjusting very well. 

Remix is a special session that only our DTS have where we transition back to the real world and really ask God what direction and calling He has for us. Only one of us really knows what they are doing after...the rest of us we have no idea...but because we all want to surrender our future to the Lord, we are all just surrendering everything to Him. Because this is such a precious time, I will not be updating every week but perhaps by the end of the DTS...I also will not be doing social media as much since I want to present each day while being here. I do have some prayer requests that I would greatly appreciate with my all my heart!

1) Rest and Abide in Christ . Since arriving to remix I’ve been feeling really anxious and fearful of the future. I feel like I’ve been postponing thinking about the future until remix and now I’m in remix. To me there are so many options, choices, obligations, fears, worries, and I could feel this paralyzing fear affecting me physically. I’m unconsciously clenching my jaw, my neck and shoulders, and I feel a knot in my stomach. It really made me feel discouraged because I’ve already experienced so much with God...why am I returning to my old ways....but I knew this was the enemy’s lie that he wants me to believe. During my times of anxiety, I was encouraged to praise and worship which has been helpful. During this time I feel that God is inviting me to just rest and abide in Him and when I am at peace, He will reveal His next steps for me.

2) Clarity and Wisdom for my future and calling. Please pray that I wouldn’t let my doubts on finance and provision be in the way to walk in obedience.

3) Healing. Me and two other sisters are currently praying for physical healing. I’m still praying for healing over my hormonal acne, neck, shoulders, and back. Haya is praying over her neck and eczema. Sebin is praying her acne, neck, back, and shoulders. So we felt convicted to pray every night together on this topic. We are walking in faith that God will heal us during remix.

Thank you for your prayers and support! 

-Alicia

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Our last week and a half of outreach!!

 08/19/2021

Sorry for the delay in updating you guys but the past week and a half has been a whirlwind...I feel like I’ve been saying that for every week, but literally this week was as well ^^;;

To summarize last week,

Monday: We did our usual preparation for street evangelism in the evening and asked God to speak to us on what He wanted us to do and who specifically He wanted us to meet. We call it “treasure hunting” when we ask God to highlight or describe whom God want us to meet. It’s been fun and so encouraging to see how we actually get to meet the people that He has described to us and encouraging that we could hear the voice of God. So normally when we get together we all take time to hear the voice and then go around in a circle and briefly share. It’s tedious to be honest and it’s tempting to just be told by the leaders what to do, but it’s SO MUCH better to do it this way because this really builds and unifies our faith as we trust God as our leader. That day we saw us doing soccer with the children, painting nails ministry, and meeting people as we walk down the street..so we divided into groups based on what we individually saw or heard from God. Some of us saw us worshipping with flags beforehand and so we decided to do that before we split into groups. It was so beautiful seeing the sunset and as we sang 3 songs, I danced with the flags. The old Alicia would have been embarrassed to be known as the “flag lady” but honestly it was liberating and I didn’t care what others thought of me. All I wanted was for the people to see through these flags that our group represented the peace and free gift from God. Locals took recording of us and watched us with awe and curiosity which was encouraging to witness. I did nail ministry and me and some of my team members met a group of girls who wanted to their nails done. After we ask them what color they want their nails done, we would share the 5 finger gospel that was represented with each different nail color so that they would remember. We also shared our testimony and I could see the awe and wonder in their eyes. It was their first time hearing the gospel and they all accepted Jesus in their hearts. I could tell some are still questioning it but I do believe and pray in faith that in that moment we invited the Holy spirit to plant seeds and start moving in their lives. 

Side note: In Mexico, because their religion is predominantly Catholicism, many of them get it confused with Christianity. We emphasize and explain that Christianity is not just a religion but a relationship...that it’s not about perfection but knowing Jesus died and rose again despite our weakness and failures...so when we share the gospel to them, they are very receptive to accepting Him and the Holy spirit. What has been really helpful was trying to connect them with a local church or giving them bible which we have been implementing lately. Our desire as team is to not have just converts but disciples of Christ. 

Tuesday morning we did one of the hottest ministries that I’ve experienced in my life..like literally it was so hot that you could cook an egg outside..and on top of that having to wear a KN94 mask and long sleeves so you don’t bit by mosquitoes...what an experience lol. There God spoke and assigned to us what he wanted us to do. Some of us gave food and drink to the families waiting outside of the hospital since no one could go in due to COVID. I was in the evangelism group and we encountered 3 groups of people. One of them was a christian woman who reached out to us to pray for her and her daughter who in labor early. It was encouraging to see her radiant faith and worshipping outside despite the heat for her daughter. There was another man that we met who was outside because his cousin got COVID and was there a lot longer than expected. Yedam, Javi, Yoonkyung and I shared the gospel, prayed for his original design, and encouraged him. Original design prayer is literally what it sounds like. Praying for what God has originally intended and gifted you before you were born. I’ve witnessed and experienced people becoming so much more receptive to the gospel and touched by the Holy spirit through this prayer. In the evening we did our weekly clean up at the base’s cafeteria. This experience is pretty much hard labor with no a/c, washing dishes, mopping the floor and praying that you don’t get bit by mosquitoes.  

Wednesday we did our last bible distribution. We give out about 77 bibles every time we go since we each carry 7 bibles in our backpacks as we walk through neighbors. This time I felt God was gracious to me that everyone received them and when there is no one home, we usually leave it at the door and pray for the home that the family there would know Jesus. We’ve heard stories of people receiving Jesus Christ just by reading His word so it really encourages me that we as our team get to be part of this ministry. After we did ministry preparation for the following ministries this week while eating oreos, mexican snacks, and our one drink we get a day at the cafe. I usually get just iced tea with no sugar. We then went to a local church later in the evening and attended worship and some of us, including myself shared our testimony. I shared my journey of getting my period here in Mazatlan and how this second time really sealed the deal for me that I was healed. Three main points that I shared throughout my testimony was 1) that God loves to see our faith before He shows us His power 2) His ways are so much higher than ours, even when it doesn’t make sense 3) to worship the promise keeper more than the promise. For those who are interested in hearing it, I have a recording that I can send it to you guys!

Thursday we had our weekly campus intercession where we prayed for each other and the different spheres that God has placed us...whether if it’s science, business, arts, family, etc. After we were told for our weekly base cleaning duty to weed the garden at the base. This garden is in between the two sections of the base where there is no shade and weeds everywhere. This was one hurdle that our team had to face weekly because as much as we understand the concept of weeding, it didn’t make sense to us they didn’t spray any weed killer after. Weeding at 12pm in 95 degree weather for an hour is no bueno. However God spoke to me of how similar sin is to weeds and that we need to continually check the gardens in our own heart to prevent these weeds from going rampant. The bigger the weed, the more difficult and work it takes to remove them...because they literally start to look like small trees. After that gruesome afternoon, we found out last minute that we can go to Stone Island for the last time. We had zero expectation that we could ever go since COVID cases were so high there and to protect the people however we got an open door opportunity. There I got to visit the rehabilitation center where it’s mostly people who involuntarily are put there to be rehabilitated from alcohol or drug abuse. I was with a team called BSN which is a secondary school that teaches their students how to teach the bible to others. Every week they visit this center and share a bible study with them. It really encouraged my heart that I got to see the church be a light to this center by sharing to them God’s word. Also every time we go Stone Island we have to take a ferry to get there so it was sad to ride it one last time. Stone Island has been special in my heart because that is where we did our first and last alpha course before the pandemic hit the island really hard. There is a lot of witchcraft and idolatry there as well. There is a part of the island where this is a huge wooden cross but right next to it, there is an animal sacrifice altar for witchcraft. That’s how dark this place is, but we’ve received so many promises over this place that God is going to raise an army of believer particularly children here. I’m so thankful that I got to visit the island one last time before we go. For dinner, we usually go out with some of the ministry leaders and we get to bless them with a free meal and develop a relationship with them. This is crucial to share because before we left for Mazatlan, we heard from the Lord to not only serve the poor but leaders as well. 

Friday afternoon we went to help out at another local church plant that just started but was postponed for awhile due to the pandemic. We helped out by giving out bible tracts on the book of John to the local neighborhood. I was with our translator Alejandro, Dayoung, and Imjae. The highlight for me during that time was when we got to meet a woman name Ilda and her husband to be and how welcoming they were to their home. They are in their late 60′s and although they didn’t have much they were so friendly and welcoming to their humble home. In the late afternoon we went to one of my favorite ministries which is Racham. Racham in Hebrew means “ a touch of compassion” or “to restore”. I shared previously that it is a children’s ministry that is partnered with the government to help abused children get out of the streets and find homes. All the girls there have been raped and all the boys have either done or sold drugs. The age range is 4 to 15-years-old. They are all so sweet and precious and we had such a great time playing games, teaching them how to hear God’s voice on their own original design, and the importance of community. Time flies by so fast when I am with them. 

During the weekend I mostly spent time with people that I would see for the last time in a while. In the morning I ate lunch with my old roomies, did some last minute shopping, and hang out with some of the ywammers here in Mazatlan. One of my favorite memory is going to Sophie’s house and having a girl’s movie night. We got to watch “Coco” which was perfect to watch while being in Mexico. It was so cool to see up close what a life of a long term missionary looked like. And what’s crazy is that they are mostly late teens early twenties. They are all truly brave and I admire their yes to Jesus. 

Sunday...omg was probably the HARDEST TRIAL I’ve experienced coming here in Mazatlan and it’s kinda comical. It was going to one of the local church’s sunday service. Before you judge, let me explain. 90% of the time when we go somewhere new to help out or attend, we have no idea where we are going. We just try our best to prepare. For example, always wear sunblock, and bug repellant because you never know where they might place you and you could be in the middle of the desert with a cloud of mosquitoes because there is a swamp nearby. I’ve gotten used to this always preparing myself as much as possible. When we got there, we find out there are 30-40 people there and the service is outside. I thought “Oh..Lord...”. Thankfully there were fans but it was HOT. And probably not the safest during the pandemic to gather like this, but what can you do? Just gotta walk in faith. So we did not take our KN94 masks off at all and by the end of the service which was almost 3 hours long!, our masks were gross. What was hardest for me was not preparing mentally that this service was going to be so long and while I was sitting there, the pastor had his microphone in full blast, the wind from the fans were blowing in my face giving me a headache, and I was getting hungry. Bad combination. I wanted to fall asleep so bad but had the burden to stay awake because the locals knew we were missionaries! It was like dying to myself and I had to use every once of strength to stay awake despite the heat and humidity. In the end, I felt convicted to never take a/c for granted at church and despite the environment situation, the locals were still worshipping God with everything they had which was inspirational. In the evening we had to out in the hot sun to support a local ywammer that we met who is making a music video and she wanted to use us as actors. As fatigued as we were from the heat, I believe God allowed us to be part of something so powerful through the song that she has written to bless the nations. I can’t wait to see how it turns out!

Monday morning we met with the Stone Island church plant pastor whom we partnered earlier to start an alpha course. We met them to answer any questions they had about alpha before we left and to tie up any loose ends. It was so encouraging to hear their appreciation and how our small obedience to God really bless their ministry and vision. The locals who participated even approached the pastor and asked when the next session was! They will be restarting Alpha again hopefully next month if things are more under control with the pandemic. In the evening we did our last street evangelism which was such a sweet ending. We felt the Lord leading us to go to a popular market place down town and worship there and do a prayer walk while treasure hunting on the way back to the base. God shared with me to find a woman with a small boy who would come up to me. When we worshipped, a lot of the by passers watched and listened to us in awe and wonder. A lot of our team members felt a shift in the atmosphere and it was such a great foundation to start our ministry. I went with Javi, Yoonkyung, and Grace and God graciously showed us all the people we were looking for! One highlight was the woman with the small boy that I saw immediately came up to us after we worshipped and we shared the gospel to them. I could tell her in her eyes she was so blessed and encouraged by her prayers. 

Tuesday we went to the dump ministry which was our last ministry for outreach. We went to the market to prepare the food as usual and this time thankfully didn’t have to climb up to the back of a truck to arrive to the dumpster. Some of us tried to put drops of eucalyptus essential oil on our mask but after 30 seconds it became powerless against the smell of death we faced at the dumpster. To me the smell the second time coming was a lot worse and I almost wanted to puke. It just smelled like death and you just would immediately feel nauseous. That morning however before ministry God spoke to me to find a woman named “ Esmeralda” and to pray for her and tell her how much God loves her. At the dumpster when I was trying not to puke, I asked around if there was an Esmeralda. No one answered. However more people started to line up and I asked again and I found her! There was only one and I got so excited. It’s just so cool and fun to do ministry like this with God and be reassured again that you could hear God’s voice. She didn’t know Jesus so I felt led to share the gospel and my testimony to her. She accepted Jesus and I shared to her how much God loved her and told me to find her this morning. I could tell in her eyes that she was in wonder and awe of who Jesus is. 

Wednesday we went to get our COVID tests done before our flight on Friday. We were kinda nervous because if one of us was positive that person would have to stay behind and quarantine. Praise the Lord we were all negative! I believe it’s because of God’s mercy and grace towards our team and we were so truly grateful that not one of us got COVID during outreach...especially with the number of people we met during ministry. 

Thursday we debriefed, packed, ate our last tacos, and cleaned up. Today is our last full day here and tomorrow we have our flight around 1:30PM. We have two layovers, Phoenix and LA...so we do have some prayer requests.

1) Travel mercies especially for our Korean citizens. They have to go through immigration again to re-enter the states and if they are denied they won’t be to finish remix and will be sent home. Also LA is doing pretty bad with COVID, please pray for protection and smooth transition to Honolulu.

2) Remix: Please pray for us to adjust quickly to our remix session as we will be spending about a month processing all that God has revealed to us..where God will take us...and what He wants to do after DTS. This is what we all have been waiting for really and on top of that, it’s also a lot of emotions because we have become so close as a family. Please pray that we would continue to pursue unity as a team and have many more breakthroughs while we are there. 

Thank you for reading this long summary! There is still so much I have left out but because I gotta pack, I will leave it up to here!

-Alicia

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Week 6 of 7.5

Aug 9, 2021

This past week's highlight for me has been these 3 events. 

The first was when we had our team debrief in the beginning of the week and I guess the best way to describe it was we were all were feeling off? Since it’s been over a month living here, we were getting acclimated to this place and had our routines. We started to get more comfortable and spiritually sluggish since we were doing ministry like clockwork and have been more focused on each other more than God. When we had our team’s weekly intercession, we realized this and had to repent of the idols of comfort, control, and doing ministry without really walking in the spirit. One of our team members had a vision of us taking a family photo but God was not in the picture. It’s crazy how the enemy attacks in such subtle and deceptive ways where in the outer appearance we seemed to be doing the right things, but the fruits yielded were not life giving. 

The second event was a long-dragged issue that our team was facing. One of our team members since Kona was having a dating relationship with another team member at a different DTS group whom also happens to be here in Mazatlan. The rule to not date originated because our purpose here in our DTS is to fully focus on God and no one else. However long story short, they still pursued the relationship and now we all saw the reciprocations, especially during outreach. After many interventions with our team member and the leaders it almost got to the point of him being sent home...but by God’s grace, we as a team got to see his life forever changed by the love of God. Did it cause our team a lot of headache and heartache? YES, however to see God’s redemptive work in my team member’s life was so worth it. After he apologized to our whole team and we all hashed out how we felt and what we learned through this process, we came out no longer as team members, but as family.

The third event was when we visited the dump ministry here in Mazatlan. It’s literally what it sounds like. YWAM has a relationship with a local church here in Mazatlan and what they do is prepare food, deliver it to the people who are living in the dumpster, and sharing the gospel. Even preparing the food was hard because we had to do it outside where it was hot, humid, there were mosquitoes everywhere, and you are not in the cleanest environment. What I will never forget is our ride to the dump area. We had to ride the back of a truck like cattle with really weak railings that we were not supposed to lean on and stand the entire time...while this car is moving 60mph. One hard stop could send our whole team flying. As scary as it was, it was fun seeing our team experience this together. A lot of the locals were just amazed to see a bunch of Koreans standing on a high-speed truck which to me was pretty entertaining. As we arrived to the dumpster, I was surprised at how vast and huge the place was. There were just acres and acres of trash all around. I’ve never seen so many flies swarming around like this. The smell was the worst smell I’ve ever experienced in my life. If I didn’t breathe through my mouth, I would have thrown up. It was so sad and vivid what we saw. That there were so many people living here. That this was their reality. None of them ran up to us to save them from this place. They just accepted this with hopeless written all over their faces. The stench reminded me of sin and the reality of what it is. That sin smells of decay and death yet when you live with it long enough, you get used to it like the homeless people here. What if we could see the reality and stench of sin in the world that we live in right now? I wonder what that would look like...is this how Jesus sees the world and feels grief over us playing with our own filth? We handed out food and drink for them and shared the gospel to them. On the way home, we would hand out tortillas and any leftover meals on the way at a street intersection. We were exhausted and when we arrived at the base, people said we smelled but none of us noticed it. I will never forget this experience and the heartache I felt grieving over my selfish and ungratefulness when there are so many that I’ve met living in such a horrible place.It really was an eye opening experience and I hope to go there one more time before I leave. Despite how hard it was, it truly was so worth it to bring relief and the goodness to the poorest of poor. 

Sorry I can’t share much because it’s been so busy but I do want to give you guys the overall update at least. Thank you for your prayers for they truly do make a positive impact to our team and the communities that we meet.

Prayer request

1) Grace and focus on Jesus. We have 1.5 week left here in Mazatlan and I received a promise a week ago from God that we would experience more wondrous and miraculous works of God more than the entire past outreach experience here already. That’s a steep order but I believe in His faithfulness. He really is a promise keeper and we as a team just need to walk in faith. Please pray that we would pour out all that we have. That we would walk in the spirit and obedience with no regrets looking back. 

2) Protection. We have 10 days before we head to the US and we pray that none of us would get sick or have COVID so that we would fly safely on time. Please pray for spiritual protection as we normally have experienced hardship and spiritual attacks right before we go out to do ministry. 

3) Team’s unity. We are experiencing unity like never before, but I feel there is more breakthrough that is in store. Please pray that the Holy Spirit would have His way in us and do whatever He needs to do. 

Our following schedule looks like this.

Monday: Street Evangelism

Tuesday: Hospital Mercy ministry and evangelism: We will be giving out food and drink and sharing the gospel

Wednesday: Bible distribution ministry

Thurdsay: Prayer and intercession for Stone Island, hospital ministry, or soccer ministry

Friday: Racham ministry ( Children’s ministry)

Throughout the day we are either busy with ministry preparation, team debrief and meetings, worship sessions, or base cleaning. Each day is really packed!

Thank you for your prayers and support! 

Best,

Alicia

[restorerjourney]

Week 5 of 7 in Mazatlán

July 31, 2021

This week started with hardships for me personally but ended with victories, deeper unity with Christ and our team, and freedom. When I create my weekly reels on instagram for this week I was surprised to realize that there were so many clips of us dancing with flags which represents freedom! Freedom is not just a feeling but a revelation of who we are and what God has given us the authority over. It’s a lot to take it in and I feel that I might understand it more in hindsight what God is making us go through as a team. 

To start off, like I said before the beginning of week was really rough. One of our team members decided to start a relationship with another team member at a different DTS and they both are here in Mazatlan. The rules were clear when we signed up for DTS that during DTS we shouldn’t start dating with another DTS student because we want this season to fully focus on God. It sounds harmless to date, but now as a team we could see the repercussions. Although the leaders were lenient during our lecture phase, during outreach phase they drew the line clear that they should put their relationship on pause only until after the outreach is over. This is because we are going as a team..we are in a foreign country..our purpose is to serve the nation that we are going to..etc etc. It’s obvious why, but that couple struggled and despite them thinking it was a private matter, it affected our team’s unity and trust. Long story short, God intervened in our team..in his heart..and in mine. The old Alicia would have been apathetic about how he felt and focused more on the boundaries that we crossed, but I felt the Lord change my heart during DTS. The Lord really guided me on how to approach my fellow team member who is like my little brother and learn to not judge him but to empathize with him. God showed me how to be with him in the hurting yet teach him the effects of the choices you make and how there will always be a cause and effect in life. It took so much out of me, but I am so glad God intervened the way he did and because we all do fear the Lord, were able to come back together as one. They decided to obey the Lord, to submit to the leaders and the rules, and surrender their relationship to God. It was a fight worth fighting for and I feel like I’m learning a glimpse of what parenting could actually look like LOL ( Dear Lord have mercy). 

Literally almost every day or every other day, one of our team member would be spiritually attacked. But I see each time that it happens, we would all gather, interceded, pray, declare God’s truth, repent, and be restored. It’s so exhausting but so beautiful. This time I got attacked mid-week when I was getting impatient of not getting my period and letting doubt enter my mind. I knew God told me that I was healed and to trust in His promises just like Abraham had to trust God when he was told to sacrifice Isaac. It made no sense why I was going through this...I was feeling “God why did you even let me go through that healing process? Wouldn’t it been better if I didn’t go through it?”. and that’s when I realized I had to repent of this old habit of mine that I allow myself to think that my ways are better than God’s. God told me I was healed, he told me it was my declaration of no longer agreeing to self-hatred that restored me, and to trust in His promises that I will be a mom one day. I just was getting so tired of waiting, not knowing, so I asked a sister from a different DTS to pray for me. When she prayed for me with another friend it was pretty weird. She was shaking and screaming and although she warned me about it before, I was kind of scared. During the entire time of praying I didn’t hear much from the Lord but just focused my eyes on him. She shared that she felt so much strongholds over me and that I need to repent of any ancestral sins. I prayed about it but God didn’t really highlight anytime for me. I then shared that experience with my parents and they were pissed haha. They were like “ who told you this? What are they teaching you”..and I realize then it was their involuntary parental bear instinct that was coming out of them because they didn’t agree with what she said at all. And then that’s when I realized, did I personally hear anything from God about it...and the answer was no, but I believed her. I started to question everything and everyone who prayed over me and that I believed without going before God and confirming it. 

I realized then that I was getting too comfortable of getting prophetic words and relying on someone’s physical voice speaking over me compared to the internal voice that I hear from God which requires faith. I had to repent and was reminded by God that I hear His voice best for me and that’s because of Jesus. That usually when people pray or have a prophetic word for me, it’s to confirm what was already told to me. Just because some random person comes up to you and speaks something true about your life and it sounds good, if you don’t hear this from the Lord yourself or if he doesn’t confirm it...it’s probably not from God. They say it like this, if you get a prophetic word, just put it on a shelf, don’t just directly receive it. I knew what God said to me the day I got healed a month ago and I am given a chance again to cling on to God’s timing.

Because the pandemic is still pretty bad here we are still limited to not be able to continue our alpha course or go to Stone Island, but we’ve been doing intercessory prayer. We also got to do bible distribution at a new neighborhood. The moment we got off the trucks, a lady who works at the store told us to come and gave us free cold water! It was so encouraging to see how God was using her to refresh us before we gave out bibles. During our time there, couple team members felt a dark presence over some of the homes and it happened to be those who refused to receive the bibles. I met a lady named Olga who had right knee pain and when we prayed for her, she felt better and was so thankful for what we were doing to her community. I met another man who looked sick when he came out and I asked, he said he had COVID. We always wear our masks and kept our distance but for a split second there was fear in my heart but I felt the Lord asking me to pray for him. We socially distanced ourselves and I prayed for healing, for protection for his family, and he was so encouraged. To be honest, we have been encountering more and more people with COVID and it really is by God’s grace that there has been no outbreaks in our team or at the baes. 

We did street evangelism too which was really cool that I want to tell you guys about. I’ve never done this before with any other mission’s team in my life but we had no agenda but just asked God as a team what he wanted us to do. We asked God where, who, and what we were going to do. Each team member would share what God spoke to them and it’s like a puzzle piece that we put together of what God is trying to lead us. We felt God has highlighted to focus on children this week. He showed us doing nails and braiding hair for the kids..he showed us doing a dance routine for them ( since they love BTS here)... he showed us giving candies...he showed us doing prophetic art with them.. and he showed us playing soccer with them. We prepared as much as we could and finally we asked God where and he led us to a park close to the base. We shared with each other that even if one kid showed up, that the one kid is worth it in Jesus’s eyes. We went and everyone we met ended up being children! I met a girl named Wendy and her sister who wanted to get their nails done. We sanitized our hands of course and wore masks as I did her nails. We got to know each other and I shared the gospel with her. She accepted Christ but it is perhaps because she was Catholic. I shared with her that being a Christian is not just about being good to be accepted, that despite us not being good, we are accepted. I believe she really felt the love of God. 

The last highlighted ministry for me was Racham’s ministry which in Hebrew, Racham means “mercy”. This Christian organization is under YWAM but is also funded by the government. They focus on children from the slums who were abandoned, sexually, physically, emotionally abused, and are in need of help. We are not allowed to post any pictures on social media because of the government and for outside volunteers, we can only visit them once a week for 2 hours. The leaders there asked if we could teach them about unity. There are currently 15 children there, almost 60% boys, 40% girls all under the age of mid teens. We created a skit for them based on 1 Corinthians 12: 14-22 and although it was hard work, they loved it. We did a drawing activity, painted their nails, provided sandwiches and juice, and played soccer with them. They shared in the end how thankful they are to us and one of them shared their testimony of how God has been working in his life. I could see God’s life in his eyes and all the children were so precious. What broke my heart as we were walking back to the base was what each child has gone through. All the girls were raped, and all the boys either sold drugs or were addicted to drugs. One of the boy was found homeless and alone for 2 weeks because his father abandoned him. It hurts my heart so much right now even typing this because when I played with them before knowing, I wouldn’t have ever guessed they went through hell at such a young age. They are so precious to Jesus...and as much as I am angry against the injustice towards them, God reminds me that those offenders will get judgement from Him. He reminds me that although those children are poor on earth, theirs is the kingdom of heaven and they have such a great inheritance. I feel so privileged to get to meet them and love on God’s children.

I can’t believe I’ve been living here for over a month and this is the longest I have been in outreach. I think I am getting used to the humidity? but there are times it kicks my butt and I’m sweating like I’m in a sauna. The food has been difficult too since Mexico doesn’t have that many healthy options and almost everything is too sweet or too salty. The food tastes good don’t get me wrong, but knowing my body, it hasn’t been adjusting well, but I’m managing as best as I can. Oh I almost forgot, we had an extra $3-4,000 donation given to us as a team so after prayer, we decided as a team to pour half of it to a church plant in Stone Island, and the other half for those who are in need of oxygen tanks at Calvary Chapel which is where the pastor who is church planting in Stone Island attends. Right now, Mazatlan is doing the worst out of all of Mexico and the hospitals are at full capacity so those who need oxygen are having to buy them or wait till there is room at the hospital. 

I also had some extra fundings sent by friends and after prayer I felt the Lord asking me to pour it all on 4 different missionaries here at the base. I’m so grateful that just as those who obeyed and financially supported me, I could do the same for someone else and bridge my friend to help those in need in Mazatlan. 

I’m also enjoying my experience in Mazatlan once a week by trying out different local restaurants, buying tourist souvenir’s for friends, and seeing the different parts of the city. We only have 2 more weekends after this so despite feeling tired and ready to go home at times, I want to look back and have no regrets that I could have done more. 

Prayer requests:

1) Grace and endurance to finish this race strong. That we would give it our all and still ask for greater things that God has in store for us to see in Mazatlan. I’m still asking God to not let me be comfortable and content for what He already has done but for even more!

2) Unity. We’ve been reading Hebrews and Psalm together as a team, and our unity held by Christ is what allows us to thrive and not just survive.

3) Health protection: We all have been feeling pretty fatigued.Yoonkyung has tendonitis on her right thumb and wrist, Esther has food poisoning, I have back, shoulder, and neck pain with no cycle still, and Sebin has back pain too. As we encounter more people with COVID during ministry, would we be protected and that we wouldn’t carry to the locals here.

Thank you amigos and amigas <3

Alicia

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