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the-lesbianest-batman · 2 years

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The Great War - Taylor Swift

I'm going to be analysing the song from a merthur perspective, trying to prove to you how merthur coded it really is!!!!

In my opinion the song is mostly from Arthur's perspective.

My knuckles were bruised like violets

so this is arthur, always a fighter, trained to kill since birth et cetera

Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep talked

arthur is very repressed emotionally and has feelings for merlin he's not accepting, so he let's that out through anger (also the sleep talk thing fits really nice because we've had scenes of both merlin and arthur sleeping/waking up saying each others names)

Spineless in my tomb of silence

I feel like the tomb of silence can be read has his fear of dying/ never being able to express his true feelings and arthur living his life like that- rigid and spineless because of his father's influence.

Tore your banners down, took the battle underground

so yes the banners are merlins openness, regarding both magic and being gay and arthur is repressed and ignores merlin being queer in more way than one. the battle of ofc the actual literal battles and also his internal battle over his feelings

And maybe it was ego swinging

this could be arthur thinking his ego/arrogance are responsible for the conflicts and the war

Maybe it was her

personally I see this as morgana, since she is the only valid love interest merlins ever had (in arthur's mind at least - tbt "where are my flowers") and also morgana being responsible for the war

Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur

this one's obvious- in my version of the great war of camelot vs morgana, arthur didn't die but got injured and is now regaining consciousness, so his memories start to come back. this could be when the song is playing because he's thinking about his feelings and the situation and all that.

now for the chorus

All that blood shed, crimson clover

so blood shed is like arthur thinking about like all the casualties of the war and also him having killed so many innocent magic users. plus him and his gang have killed many ppl so yes it fits.

Uh-huh, sweet dream was over

so yes this could be s2e10 sweet dreams (aka the ep with the best merthur potential imo) or more likely arthurs infatuation for merlin feeling like a dream (yk that high when you fall in love)

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

them both supporting each other during the war <3 (maybe merlins magic was revealed and they're fighting side by side?

Always remember

Uh-huh, tears on the letter

omg I have a great idea for this: post magic reveal merlin gives him a letter being all "I'm leaving" and arthur crying -> tears on the letter.

I vowed not to cry anymore

If we survived the Great War

them hoping for their eventual happy ending (which they DESERVE)

You drew up some good faith treaties

court sorcerer merlin helping arthur with political stuff/ lowkey being an advisor th3 way he kinda is in the show already???

I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone

again, arthur shuts himself off and doesn't accept or express his feelings. drawing curtains closed is very "I'm not out to myself/I'm the closet/ !!!beard!!!" to me and drinking my poison all alone is also heavily leaning on repressed feelings/ sexuality crisis.

You said I have to trust more freely

this is arthur trying to get over his prejudices/fears about magic. and perhaps even getting over his internalised homophobia and trust issues and merlin is for sure helping with that.

But diesel is desire, you were playin' with fire

arthurs internalised homophobia and stuff kicking in- he's scared after all. it's like the golden-harry styles thing. merlin: "I know that you're scared because I'm so open."

And maybe it's the past that's talkin'

Screamin' from a crypt

uthers god awful parenting and influences being the past that's talking. say it with me IN-TER-NA-LISED HO-MO-PHO-BI-A

Tellin' me to punish you for things you never did

arthur sees that magic is not a crime and that he shouldn't punish merlin for "the crime" of using magic. and on a subtextual leven this could again also apply for gayness since magic=gay (watch the aretheygay video on merthur, I'm not gonna explain that concept rn)

So I justified it

this right here is arthurs character development. he's no longer hiding behind his father's politics but taking matters into his own hands-legalisong magic and making a case for all magic users- justifying how magic should be legal in front of the conservative councilmen

All that blood shed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, the bombs were close and

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

Uh-huh, the burning embers

I vowed not to fight anymore

If we survived the Great War

pretty much the same as the first chorus BUT "the bombs were close" and "the burning embers" "and the last two lines. so the first difference is a reference to the war yes. the burning embers are imo merlins eyes when he uses magic. seeing merlins eyes go golden woudl be a pivotal moment for arthur-it being the undeniable proof that YES, MERLIN HAS MAGIC. and the last two lines are again about hoping for their happy ever after. arthur did dream about him and merlin living on a farm. if that's not gay then what is tbh

It turned into something bigger

friends to lovers say what

Somewhere in the haze got a sense I'd been betrayed

again this is both applicable to magic or gay. arthur felt betrayed that merlin didn't trust him and maybe even that merlin WAS that way (he's repressed not homophobic or magicphobic(???)

Your finger on my hair pin triggers

Hold you down on that icy ground

oooh what if merlin was like injured and it would be kinda opposite of s5e13 with arthur being the one panicking over merlins dying body (except that merlins immortal ofc)

Looked up at me with honor and truth

Broken and blue, so I called off the troops

so yes merlin is on his not-really death bed, loyal, honest and honourable until the very end proving to arthur that all his prejudices were for nothing because this, THIS is all that matters. HE is all that matters

That was the night I nearly lost you

I really thought I lost you

the "merlin almost dies and arthur realises everything right then and there" vision is SO CLEAR omg

We can plant a memory garden

Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair

it's giving "vision of the future and their happy ending". arthur dreams of their future together and wants more happy memories with merlin. plus the poppy flower thing is adding onto my merthur farmers au for this song. escapism due to war trauma so true

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

yeah so to me this is by now post war. the war is won. they're trying to pick up the pieces.

And we will never go back

confirming that arthur has had his acceptance arc, he's now accepting merlin, himself, magic, being gay and also turning his back to the violence, striving to bring a new peaceful era to the lands of albion.

To that bloodshed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, the worst was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

Uh-huh, we burn for better

I vowed I would always be yours

'Cause we survived the Great War

yes so end of war. the worst was over. also "we burn for better" is such a raw line? omfg taylor!!! so yes they got together in a "I might die tonight so I have to tell you something" situation, vowed they would always love each other and BOTH survived the great war. haply ending confirmed.

I would always be yours

Cause we survived the Great War

I vowed I would always be yours

repetition for emphasis.

so yeah. that was my analysis of the great war. I hope this wa enjoyable and I hope you all now add this to your merthur playlists.

#merthur #merlin #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #emrys #colin morgan #bradley james #taylor swift #midnights #the great war #merlin the great war #merthur the great war

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twpsyn-who · 1 year

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I'm going to my parents house this week and I wanna try (heavily underline the word 'try') writing some Mungrove.

The question is WHAT I write cuz I have so many AUs but they have the same. fucking. plot.

We have :

Merman AU where Billy and Eddie knew each other since little, but Eddie got captured by the lab at some point. He got away during the massacre and has been living with uncle Wayne since then. They meet again when Billy moves in Hawkins.

Lab Lovers AU where Billy and Eddie are from the lab (5 and 6, cuz not watching the show gives me the liberty to do whatever I want with canon) and got away during the massacre (or with 8 jury is still on that one). They get separated when they find their biological families and meet once again in 1985, when Billy moves to Hawkins (This one also have : Billy joining the Hellfire Club's table from the start ; Billy and Max actually being close siblings; so much fucking codependency they literally can't survive without each other)

Childhood Friends AU where Eddie has been living with his father in California up to age 13 until he had to move with his uncle. They were best friends (and their first kiss but shhh). Both with shitty fathers, one got away while the other had to stay. Two boys, one faithful promise that keeps the hope burning while also slowly killing it. What happens when Billy moves in Hawkins and meets Eddie again? (I have two ideas for the childhood friends AU, but the other one I plan to write regardless of whether or not I do this one)

Soulmates AU where when your soulmate dies, you die. This one also features Steddie, but it will be later on (the story focuses more on Billy and Eddie's relationship up to the moment Billy dies and Eddie doesn't because he does have another soulmate keeping him alive). Billy is really shitty in this one (in the others I'm making him more tolerable). No, it is not Harringroveson. Eddie is the only one with two soulmates.

Lowkey I wanna do them all, but again : they have the same plot. I guess I could say the soulmate one is a little different, mostly because of the ending, but other than that they kinda go the same way yk? I just love the idea of Eddie suffering after Billy dies.

Yeah they are all angsty and I can 100% guarantee you that Billy keeps dying at the mall. But there's fluff! In some of them. At the beginning. Depends on AU. I love you guys. Please don't kill me.

#there's some lack of mungrove in this fandom and I plan to change that. OOC Billy or not 😤#stranger things #stranger things mungrove #mungrove #not tagging the characters for known reasons #sometimes the eddie munson fandom scares me man #yk how some write steve and robin glued to the hip? that's how eddie and billy are in the lab au #the codependency is more for Eddie actually cuz he feels like he can't live without Billy- it makes even more sense when you knows their #powers #i have more ideas for soulmate au and merman au but they are steddie. need to put that down there #oh and my lab eddie au where he and patrick have a thing going on. i'm still working on how eddie's powers work so it makes fucking sense #too many ideas #too little motivation to write something #no Max Mayfield gets hurt in the making of these fanfictions #I'm a Bakugou Katsuki kin I know how to write an angry toxic character into a soft boy watch me rewrite Billy to fit in my narrative(s)#I'm an angst writer first and whatever society expects of me later

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shatteredgossip · 20 days

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@scuderiabaxter: JAPANESE GP THREAD !!!! @scuderiabaxter: OK OK OK YOU ALL ASKED FOR IT!!! SO!!!! @scuderiabaxter: Firstly omg i literally was staying in the same hotel as F.errari????? I'm literally screaming crying shitting my pants @scuderiabaxter: I MET MICHAEL AND ANNIE BAXTER. NOT EVEN LYING. I'M GETTING MY BF TO SEND ME THE PHOTOS RN!!!!!!!! @scuderiabaxter: [images attached] @scuderiabaxter: Okay so Annie was like. Super tired. She looked hella out of it. While we were together JACKSON. FUCKING. OTTO. CAME OVER. Not even kidding. There was like. Some totally weird tension or whatever there, IDK she was hella icy with both her dad and her Jax but whatever ig. She seemed lowkey bitchy but maybe it was the jetlag @scuderiabaxter: ANYWAY MY JAX PICS!!! [images attached] @scuderiabaxter: Okay so I talked to Jax for a little bit, he was super nice and friendly omg? He put HIS ARM AROUND MY SHOULDERS DO YOU GUYS SEE THIS SHIT???????????? dying dead and gone rip @scuderiabaxter: We also saw Carl Sands but I pretended to tie my shoelaces when he came over bc he seemed to think we actually gave a shit/wanted pics with him asdkljaslkjd @scuderiabaxter: Anyway lmaoo Jax's like. IDK. Nutritionist? Trainer? That Dante Lee guy. He came over. @scuderiabaxter: And OH. MY. GOD. YOU GUYS? HE'S SOOOO SEXY. LIKE. SO SEXY. @DANTELEEPT IF YOU ARE FREE ON THURSDAY NIGHT PLEASE CALL ME I AM ALSO FREE ON THURSDAY NIGHT IF YOU ARE FREE ON THURSDAY NIGHT JFFJLKASJ @scuderiabaxter: Sorry sorry. Anyway. He and Jax left not too long after but idk idk guys. MORE TENSION. SO MUCH TENSION. It was weird? But kinda sexy? Like, I was digging it. 10/10 would not be upset if those two fucked @scuderiabaxter: Like no shade to Persephone but there is just noooo flavor there ygm? She and Jax are so vanilla. @scuderiabaxter: @jaxxyotto4 Btw if you're not gay for Dante lmk because me and my BF *are* in an open relationship bestie! @scuderiabaxter: I didn't get to meet Eli though. :( I saw him from afar but he seemed kinda distracted. He was just sorta tailing Jax and Michael and keeping his head low yk???? @scuderiabaxter: I'M ABOUT TO BOARD MY FLIGHT SO I'LL FINISH THIS THREAD LATER OK!!!!

#ft. jax #ft. eli #ft. annie #ft. dante

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radiorenjun · 2 years

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Okay so imma rant about my whole day today related to genshin cosplayers so GET READY TO BE ENVIOUS OF MY Y/N MOMENTS @lebrookestore @gu-nil since yall were lowkey curious about the thing in my previous post here's context LMAOAOAOA

So like I went to this anime event called Animetokku in this mall near my house right AND THERE WERE LIKE SO MANY AMBER, YOI, HUTAO (ESP HUTAO), KUJOU SARA, XIAO AND BAAL COSPLAYERS BUT BRO SOMEONE COSPLAYED MS HINA?? I swear I saw someone shirtless to commit to their xosplay and I saw like a dinosaur cosplay, a heizou cosplay, TRANSFORMER COSPLAYS and a sht ton of demon slayer cosplays.

So like i was a kobeni cosplayer right? Handing out paper cranes to my friends and for the sake of privacy I'll be changing everyone's names so like I met up with my ex senior Cici who was cosplaying as hutao right and were both BIG NICCHO SIMPS (nicchocholas is this Xiao Cosplayer in indo u can look him up on insta he's super duper hot and he's great at cooking genshin foods on his tiktok) and then like I was their photographer whenever we come across each other so I took photos of them being kabedoned by a female gojo cosplayer (God I wished I was cici in that moment the gojo cosplayer was so fcking pretty bye)

And then afterwards we like lost each other in the mall right and me and my friends( blue, Oyster and cake) were getting tired because we were walking for like hours and hours taking pics and shit and we decided to go to Starbucks and otw we found a scaramouche cosplayer and they were posing w strangers yk w awkward distances in between them yk AND ME BEING SOMEONE WHO LITERALLY PLAYEF GENSHIN FOR SCARA I HAD TO ASK FOR A PIC RIGHT SO I CAME UP AND ASK FOR A PIC AND THEY??

OMG THEY STEPPED CLOSER TOWARDS ME? WRAPPED THEIR ARM AROJND MY SHOULDER AND PULLED ME TO THEIR SIDE?? BRO MY HEART WAS BEATING SO FAST I COULDNT EVEN TAKE THE PIC PROPERLY I WAS SCREAMING I WAS CRYING I WAS DYING IT FELT LIKE FLYING HUT MAYBE I WAS DYING WHO KNOWS AND I LITERALLY FELT MY HEART DO THE DOKI DOKIS AND LIKE? OH MY GOD IM STILL ALL GIDDY THINKING ABOUT IT HELP

And then we walked towards Starbucks right to take a rest and then lookie we met up w Cici and their sister (I'm good friends w their sister too since we were classmates) and then like they were like "OMG ANGIE HAVE U SEEN NICCHO YET" I WAS LIKE "OML NO HAVE U" AND SHES LIKE "NOT YET BUT MY FRIEND ALR TOOK A FRIEND WAIT" AND THEN LIKE THEY OPENED DISCORD TO SHOW ME THEIR FRIEND AND U KNOW WHAT??

BRO CICIS FRIEND WAS THE SCARAMOUCHE COSPLAYER OH MY GOD ??

and so we set on a mission to go find the scaramouche cosplayer so we can get more info on niccho ans CICI (SHES A HUTAO COSPLAYER, MIND YOU) TOOK MY WRIST AND STARTED RUNNING ACROSS THE MALL, PULLING ME WITH HER. I ALMODT TRIPPED ON MY OWN FEET AND WHEN MY HAND SLIPPED OUT THEY GRABBED IT SO I DONT GET LOST AND SOMEHOW WE WERE RUNNING ACROSS THE MALL HAND IN HAND TOGETHER?? HELLO??

I FELT LIKE A SHOUJO PROTAGONIST HELLO IS YHIS WHAT IT FEELS LUKE TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER? TO BE Y/N??

DUDE I ALMOST SLIPPED AND WE WERE SQUEEZING IN BETWEEM THE CROWD HAND IN HAND WHILE ALSO DITCHING BLUE OYSTER AND CAKE

and then we found the scaramouche cosplayer and cici was like "angie is a huge simp for u now" AND I DEADASS HID BEHIND BLUE OUT OF PURE EMBARRASSMENT BYE AND THEN WE TOOK PICS AND THEN PART WAYS RIGHT AND NOT LONG AFTER ME AND OYSTER FOUND THIS ZHONGLI COSPLAYER HE WAS SUPER HOT BUT HES LIKE A COLLEGE STUDENT I THINK AND OH MY GOD

I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE A PIC WITH HIM RIGHT BUT BEFORE I XOULD ASK HES LIKE "CAN I TAKE A PICTURE QUICKLY?" TO ME AND MY FRIEND CAMILA AND BRO??? BRO??? I DIDNT GET TO TAKE A PIC Q HIM ON MY PHONE BUT HE HAS A PIC OF ME AND HIM ON HIS PHONE QHICH HES GONNA POST ON INSTA IM SCREAMING???

AND THEN THE ZHONGLI COSPLAYER WAS LIKE "hey Oyster can u hold my phone for a bit" and I turned to Oyster "Oyster u know this dude?" AND Oyster was like "o yeah he's my sisters friend" AND I DEADASS

MY JAW

DROPPED.

SCREAMINF CRYING PUNCHING THE AIR RN?

anyways I will sleep peacefully tonight thank you

#angie's chatbox #bro i was dying thruout this whole day deadass

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2ynjns · 3 years

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txt's reaction when their significant other dyed their hair

anon sent:

txt’s reaction to their s/o surprising them with a new haircut or colouring their hair, that was a big change from their old hair 🥺

yeonjun

months prior you’re like “jjunie, i wanna dye my hair like yours.”

and he was like “lemme dye it for you!!”

but you didn’t let him dye it himself because you wanted it to be a surprise

and you didn’t want him to burn your scalp when bleaching LOL

you got it done at the salon

you came home you were unrecognizable

you legit came at your place and yeonjun watching his cameo on live on on his ipad

he turned to the door to see a pink haired human being

i was reading to throw the ipad at you

but you’re like “jjun no! it’s me!”

“you look like me!!”

guess what you finally dyed your hair after thinking about it for MONTHS

and you dyed your hair pink to match yeonjun’s :”)

as soon he was just UWU

he pulled you to him and he’d touch your hair and admire it

“you look beautiful baby”

and yk that red heart hair clip he wore on that one we lost the summer stage?

yes he got you one too

so you went out in public with matching hair clips

he’d go out on dates with you with matching hair styles

ponytail? cool. clips? great. space buns? bet put it on!

soobin

you just compulsively decided that you wanted to dye your hair

“soob, wanna go to the salon with me?” “yeah sure”

man just thought you’re just gonna get a hair cut

but

he saw the stylist whip out their bowl and brush

he was like (⊙_(⊙_⊙)_⊙)

he was starin at you and was scared for his life

you never done this before

you only got hair cuts before

but never dyed your hair

anyways

the stylist started bleaching your head and he was lowkey excited

“you never told me you wanted to dye your hair.”

“hehehe just thought of it earlier”

the final results were cute

you dyed your hair strawberry blonde and added fringe bangs

soobin went all uwu mode on you

he loves it!

he’d play with your hair 24/7, he’d curl it or straighten it for you

he’d also braid it

at the end of the day you’d both just take a lot of selfies and he’d set it as his wallpaper

that man just LOVES your hair okay

beomgyu

red hair definitely suited you, any color does

he’s the one who suggested to dye your hair

“your hair has been your natural color your whole life you should spice it up.”

and you’re like

“kai literally is brown haired throughout his eighteen years of existence, you tell him to dye his hair blonde.”

anyway

you both came to an agreement that you��re gonna dye your hair for him

that’s the birthday present you’re gonna give him

you dyingyour hair cherry red HAHA

here’s the catch

you dyed it yourself with him

it was scary as heck

please

i dont know why you trusted him, you could’ve been bald

but he was really careful with your hair

he loves your natural hair but he wanted to see you with a diff colored hair

you blacked it first then applied the color

y’all made a mess on the tub but oh well

finish product waS BEAUTIFUL

it was a lil bit patchy BUT THATS OKAY

BEOMGYU TRIED GIVE HIM A BREAK

you applied toner and extra stuff and the color evened out

you curled it and showed it

mans was hella happy

“BABE YOU LOOK SO GOOD SHOULD I DYE MINE TOO????”

you’re like hahahahahaha get your stylist do it

taehyun

as soon as you saw taehyun with blonde hair you were in awe

you got inspired to dye your hair

but you didn’t want to dye yours blonde

you wanted to dye yours a little subtle

light ash brown balayage

omFG

it’s subtle but it’s still noticeable yfm

taehyun was on schedule and you told him you’d go to the salon

you were really excited to see his reaction

as soon as you got home and brought home food

you settled on the couch and waited for tae to arrive home

(❤´艸｀❤)

that was his reaction

“my love, you look lovely…”

he cooed and smiled SO HARD

SO MF HARD

his iconic smile was plastered on his face

he was so in love oh my god

you both were eating and your hair was on your way

so he tucked it behind your ears like he usually do

and even got a clip to clip it back

mans is whipped as hell

he gave you compliments 24/7 until it grew out and the color faded

and insisted that you should redye it when it grew out

and made you do a blonde balayage instead

huening kai

wbk this man doesnt ever dye his hair throughout his career

so y’all made a bet on something

and hair was the punishment

both of you will dye your hair blonde if you win

and if he wins only you will dye hair

mf he won….

so you were the only one obligated to bleach your head

well kai we’re waiting for your dyed hair pls

dye in blonde for next comeback aka chaos chapter pls im begging

anyways

you were scared as heck what if you shed hair if you dont bleach it properly

but you didnt want to spend a lot on maney to get it done at the salon

so you did a lot of research prior bleaching

you’re not in the bathroom bleaching your head

the outcome wasnt that bad especially after the toning

your hair was now platinum blonde after so much bleaching and toning

rip your head

after three days of his busy schedule and not seeing you he came over to your place

as he saw you

(❤ ω ❤)

“AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!’

he ran towards you and smelled your hair

“smells like strawberries…”

he wanted to eat it

but no he cant

he was actually inspired with your newly dyed hair

he now wants to do it and reconsidering dying his hair

“kaikai, you should dye it. i’ll do it for you.”

“uhhh.. ill have my stylist do it haha thanks tho ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

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paycies · 4 years

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hello pretty peeps ! i’m already so happy n excited 2 be here tysm for the warm welcome 🥺🥰my name’s dani , i’m 20 & i reside in torONTO / the 6ix / best city in da world , which puts me in the est tz ! i’m obsessed w machine gun kelly n that’s really all you need to know about me SJFDSFS . but i’m super excited 2 be bringing my babyg paycie , she’s a wild card but also a lil sunflower & all the more info about her is under the cut + some wanted connections ! like this & i’ll slide in those dms to plot bc i wanna plot w every single one of u or you can also msg me on discord @𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958 !! ♡ ♡ ♡

» • * — ( madison beer , cisfemale , she/her ) . i think i hear righteous by juice wrld coming from apartment 2308. doesn’t paycie miller live there ?? i heard they are a twenty one year old student/model from manhattan , nyc , but they’ve been living in the apartments for three years . they come across a bit - reticent and - stubborn , but they also seem like they could be + quixotic and + adroit . whenever i see them , i think of hoop earrings , graphic tees & red roses . oh , and don’t forget to follow them on instagram at @payciem !

* 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠 .

full name : paycie anne miller .

age : twenty - one .

astrological chart : libra sun , aquarius moon , leo rising .

hometown : manhattan , new york .

sexual orientation : pansexual .

character inspo : lexie grey ( grey’s anatomy ) , brooke davis ( one tree hill ) , moe ( lemonade mouth ) , mariana adams foster ( the fosters ) .

* 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 & 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 ( death tw ) .

ok here we go

paycie was born an only child to the most loving parents

born and raised here in manhattan

her mom was an aspiring model when she met paycie’s rockstar father

they got married only after knowing eachother for a few months , but they were so deeply in love it didn’t even matter

they had paycie about a year after being married

and they couldn’t have been happier to have a lil girl!!

her mom and her were two peas in a pod growing up , her dad would always find them playing dress up together , doing eachother’s makeup , etc

they acted much more like best friends than like a mom/daughter , but there was never a problem w it

paycie was a very well behaved child , always having a soft demeanour even from the very beginning

so ya growing up was great for her , her dad’s career was at it’s peak , her mom stayed home to take care of paycie , so she always had her mom around , she ended up in private school that she enjoyed , made lots of friends & couldn’t have wished for anything in life

( death & car accident tw ) fast forward , paycie’s now 17 , while her dad’s away on tour , her mom dies suddenly in a car accident . this was by far the worst day of paycie’s life , she never in a million years imagined that her mom would be taken from her , and with absolutely no warning

her best friend in the whole world was gone and she had no idea how to move on from that

obviously her dad’s tour was cancelled & the tabloids went crazy with the story

the two of them struggled to get any privacy , paparazzi always waiting outside their house , etc sstuff like that

it was horrible n they hated it

but paycie quickly fell into a depression, stopped going to school , BARELY made it through her senior year but by some miracle she did end up graduating ( she didn’t attend however )

( anxiety tw ) she had to go on medication for depression & anxiety during this time as well , as she was struggling w panic attacks and such and still does sometimes to this day

her dad’s career diminished because he too was lost without her to work , & he wanted to stay home 24/7 to take care of paycie

it took a long time for the two of them to be able to figure out how to continue living life , but they did it together & as a united front

paycie and her father’s relationship continued to grow much stronger after her mom’s death , obviously both of them needing eachother to lean on

fast forward abt a year or two paycie decides she wants to go to college to study fashion , something her mom always loved & got paycie interested in

she’s taking a few music courses as well

so now she’s here living in her lil apartment that she adores and trying to live a simple life .

she really hadn’t been interested in being in the spotlight like her dad was , although her instagram following is what allowed her to gain modelling gigs after she turned 18 , being able to book a few big ones , to get money to help pay her tuition and other expenses

she enjoys it a lot but at the same time lowkey hates the idea of being famous , after how the media had such a big affect on her w her mother’s death

so she’s conflicted and tries to focus on school most of the time

* 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 & ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 .

paycie is a very kind and gentle soul

she’s quiet and tends to keep her thoughts to herself , when she’s around people she doesn’t know well

don’t get me wrong she can converse very well , but when it comes to meaningful conversations , you’ll only get that out of her if she completely trusts you

ummm she wears her heart on her sleeve tho and dreams of an epic love like her parents had although she gets scared of being hurt the way her dad was

which stops her from forming attachments easily

but at the same time her heart is so huge she can quickly form a soft spot for people once she gets to know them

if you’re her friend she will literally go to the ends of the earth for u , she will do anything for the people she cares about

she’s always experimenting w different outfits !

but she also loves hanging out in a hoodie and sweatpants w her hair in a messy ass bun , it’s her fave

on the weekend you’ll likely find her watching friends for the 100000 time in her apartment w a box of donuts

she does love to have fun and go out and get drunk w her girls and dance all night yk , 21 year old stuff <3

i’m still developing her always but yAH .

* 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 .

i want all da connections pls so like if u have anything ur dying for lmk & paycie can fill it ! i also have my own wanted connections HERE , so pls come plot w me hehe ♡

& ty for reading this whole ass mess , ily !

#ten23.intro #hii <3

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din-vampyr · 6 years

Text

Alright..thats it im so gay

June 16th 2018

So derrin and i went to the concert! Met some new friends

Ryan- He's such a little adorable bean! Like ive only known him for 6 hours but he's already like a brother to me haha. Also! Pretty sure he has a crush on derrin which is v gay and cute!

Charlotte- She seemed pretty okay but lowkey gave off this negative energy? Hmm idk maybe im just being quick to judge.

Emerald- shes this super cool gothy,punk, whatever you wanna call it chicka xD..also her vest is so fuckin cool! And turns out her step sister is one of my friends from middle school..Small world am i right? But anyways i can totally see myself hanging with her again!

Now for the big show stopper! FUCKIN M.I.K.A.Y.L.A! OHMYGOD WHERE DO I START?..so derrin and i got to the venue a lil early which is fine because im always fuckin early.But Ohmygod i saw the back of her snapback her and her jacket as she was walking to the gas station and IMMEDIATELY KNEW IT WAS HER!..not gonna lie i had like the biggest gay panic attack ever!. Some time goes by and Derrin,Ryan and i decide to go into the venue and just chill while we're waiting for the first band (time rift) to set up.. and BOOM Emerald and Mikayla both walk in to the Armory and im like at a loss for words haha..absolutely dumb founded i look at Them..As i hold back my screeching..And I say Hi and introduce myself and She smiled at us and did the same. But as i notice her smile i see that she has her fucking SMILEY PIERCED! LIKE SHUT UP AND MARRY ME OKAY BY!..ohmygod i need to chill.

Anyways time goes on and we're all just moshing away but we decide to all just hang out around Astoria and chill outside for a while which was great! Em tagged with a sharpie around town and even Signed "crash" on my hand haha.

THEN we start heading back to the venue just to hang on this hill near the parking lot..also? I just kinda sat there laying on the gravel and she asked me if i need CRP! IS THIS A BIG GAY HINT? DOES SHE LIKE ME? SHOULD I PRETEND TO BE DYING SO SHE CAN FUCKING GIVE ME CPR?.. Oof carry on!

We were sitting on the hill and Derrin and Emerald decided to yeet them selves down it whilst covering themselves in dust(casual reckless punk stuff yk?) But mikayla sat next to me..SHE SAT NEXT TO ME!....my heart got hit right in the gay feels i just wanted to say something or kiss her so bad!? I felt like she radiated this pure energy and i immediately knew that i had the BIGGEST,GAYEST MOST HOMOSEXUAL CRUSH ON THIS PERSON! So (being me) I ROLLED DOWN THE FUCKING GRAVEL HILL! (ENDED UP CUTTING MY KNEE OPEN) and didn't say anything about how gay i was feeling. :3

5 mins before leaving* i didn't want to leave! I knew it would be awhile until i saw her next and that reality was crushing. We also exchanged phone numbers and social media blah blah blah..BUT I WROTE MY PHONE NUMBER ON HER ARM AND SHE LOOKED AT IT AND GRINNED! ..i also had so much adrenaline i just wanted to scream and tell her how i felt but i didn't..To soon? Nah shes prolly straight? Hmm maybe she's dating someone else? There's no way she likes me? Well anyways the outcome of the night was..I HAVE A BIG CRUSH ON MIKA AND THIS NIGHT I WILL NEVER FUCKING FORGET- Sincerely the person whomst has no chance

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