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aliceslantern · 4 years

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Serendipity, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 3

ser·en·dip·i·ty | n -- the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery.

It's all fun and games until someone gets pregnant.

Modern AU, Zemyx, Ienzo is trans and afab

Chapter summary: Ienzo and Demyx decide what they want to do with this unplanned pregnancy.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Ienzo went through the next few days in a haze. The word echoed heavily in his mind--

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

He didn’t look it. His stomach was as flat as it ever was. This clump of cells, such as it were, was only a few weeks old. Perhaps not viable.

Could he see a pregnancy through? Imagine himself swollen, heavy? And what of the other end, a whole human being he’d need to care for? He’d wanted children, but he’d figured it would have been ten, fifteen years in the future--and then, adoption. He hadn’t anticipated anything biological. Hell, he’d fully planned on having a hysterectomy at some point. Not to mention, he and Demyx were faring well, but it had only been months. This was a greater commitment than marriage.

He couldn’t keep this pregnancy. That’s all. It was a mistake, a blip on the radar. But for clarity’s sake, he did need to tell Demyx. It was only fair. He’d regret it if he didn’t.

The thought of it made sleeping impossible. He stumbled through the workday blearily, and when he got home he was unable to make the dinner he’d planned for. He sat on the couch, hugging himself tightly, imaging himself spitting out those words. This was all his fault.

When Demyx got back from class, he noticed the variance in Ienzo’s mood immediately. “Hey,” he said. “What's going on? Bad day?”

He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “I… suppose…”

Demyx sat next to him. “What happened?”

He tried to gather the nerve. “I need to tell you something.”

Something like fear sparked in his eyes. “What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

He felt the tears there, tremulous.

Demyx took his hand; he snatched it away. “Talk to me,” he said. “I can’t fix what I don’t know.”

He swallowed. He was shaking all over. “I… received some news,” he said slowly. “I figured out what’s wrong with me.”

“Isn’t that good?”

The wetness ran over. “I’m… I’m pregnant.”

There was a substantial pause. Demyx snorted. “Okay, real funny.”

He looked up. “It’s not a joke. I really am.”

He froze. “Oh.”

“I… I thought it wasn’t possible. And for the majority of people on T, it isn’t.” He gritted his teeth. “I guess I’m just lucky.”

“Oh,” Demyx repeated.

“I… I wanted to tell you. Before I made any decisions.”

“Thank you,” he said numbly. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Ienzo. This is my fault.”

“If we’re being technical, it’s both our faults,” he said.

“What do you want to do?”

“I…” He swallowed. “I don’t know. I’m still in shock.” Ienzo felt a bit faint. “What if there’s something wrong with it? From the hormones?”

“I doubt that.”

“But what if I can’t carry it the whole term--” He hugged himself tightly.

Demyx embraced him gently. “It’s your body,” he said softly. “Whatever you decide, I’m with you.”

“But this thing is also half yours.”

“I’m not the one who’s going to carry it and give birth to it,” Demyx said. There was something distant in his eyes.

“What do you want ?”

He pressed his forehead against Ienzo’s. “I want to make you happy,” he said. “That’s all. Whatever that means.”

---

This news did make things awkward between them, as he tried to slog through the next few days. Demyx seemed to be constantly walking on eggshells around him. Ienzo was exhausted, sluggish. He kicked things back and forth in his mind--

The finances. The newness of his relationship. The threat of the pregnancy triggering dormant dysphoria. His testosterone hurting the embryo. He needed to talk to someone, someone he could trust to be level headed.

Ienzo called his father.

Ansem was a busy man. Being a politician would do that. Trying to explain things to his other father only gave him anxiety. He needed real, solid advice.

It was a beautiful spring day. He was feeling swollen, despite the fact that he was too early along to show. His pregnancy had recently escalated to morning sickness, and it wasn’t fun. He was still sipping ginger tea in an attempt to reign it in when he saw him approach in the park.

“Waiting long?” he asked, leaning in for a hug. “Ienzo, I must say. Since I last saw you, you are positively glowing. Nothing like young love.”

“Glowing.” He snorted. Unfortunately, it was true. Since he'd been pregnant his complexion was flawless.

“Shall we walk?”

He followed him through the park, the just-blooming flowers. Parents playing with their kids. Bright, warm sunlight.

“All is well, I hope?” Ansem asked. “You seem distant this afternoon.”

“I’m afraid I have ulterior motives, for speaking with you,” he said. “I need some… fatherly advice. As it were.”

“All in the contract,” Ansem said, with a smile.

“You recall I’ve started a new relationship.”

“Not so new. It’s been some time since you mentioned it.” Ansem cocked his head. “I’m glad, to see you find someone. I’d hoped you would eventually.”

“I’m afraid I’m… dealing with a dilemma.” He looked at the lake, at the ducks. He admitted it to the water. “I’ve conceived.”

For a moment all that was audible was the splashing of ducks. “Are you… quite sure?” Ansem asked. “I thought--”

“Yes. I did too.” He sighed. “The proof is in the pudding. So to speak.”

Ansem touched his arm. “Do you feel alright?”

“Nauseous, emotional, humiliated,” he said. “But yes, fine, I suppose.”

“The chances of this happening must be--”

“Incredibly slim.” He felt his hand on his stomach and pulled it away. “Lucky me.”

Ansem considered this. “Lucky,” he echoed. “Yes, Ienzo, perhaps you are. Does the boy know?”

“Handled it gracefully, I suppose,” he said. He wished he had seeds, for the birds. “Says it’s my body, my choice, and all that.”

“Something like this--perhaps it is fate,” he said slowly. “Giving you something you didn’t realize you needed.”

“More like I was irresponsible once and these are the consequences.”

Ansem placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t base a choice like this on logic,” he said firmly, “as much as you are wont to. Parenthood is difficult, emotionally complicated. You have to go with your gut, Ienzo, or you’ll regret it forever.”

“How very helpful,” he spat.

“Your heart will tell you the right thing to do,” he said. “Regardless of whether or not you see this through… you have my support. But consider… after all, you ended up in our custody under less than ideal circumstances. And it ended up being a fortuitous match, yes?”

He blinked. “I… suppose.”

“Consider it an opportunity, either way,” he said, “To determine what you truly want from your life.”

“I shall.”

“I hope you do.”

---

Ienzo was drifting into an uncertain sleep when it came to him, with a painful clarity. He’d been in denial too long.

Go with his gut.

He rested his hand on the clump of cells. What was it telling him?

Likely if he continued his transition--his plan--he wouldn’t be able to biologically conceive again. This was likely a fluke--as it were. A once in a lifetime shot.

Wouldn’t he be a fool, to throw it away?

He looked at Demyx, fast asleep next to him. Quite possibly this person was the love of his life.

Ienzo had always lived by rules and plans. Breaking those rules had given him love and pleasure he hadn’t thought he was capable of. And to break this rule, this plan? Bigger, more consequential than the last? Would it reap a larger reward? Should he terminate, life wouldn’t be normal. The fact of it would sit within him forever, good or bad.

He wanted this child.

It wasn’t a clump of cells. Or an embryo. It was the potential for a person, something he’d made, despite the odds. It wanted him , despite his inhospitable body. Tears--of relief, maybe--clouded his eyes. He already knew he’d made up his mind.

Very well.

He sat up. Slowly. “Demyx?” He wasn’t sure why the man needed to know right exactly now at this god awful hour, but he needed to say it out loud. He needed it to be real.

Demyx groaned and pressed his face into the pillow. “Wassup?”

“I want to keep the baby.” Not cells, not a fetus. Something that would be a person.

He blinked, his expression sharpening. He took a breath. “I was hoping you would,” he said softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me, if you felt so strongly?”

“Because this isn’t a normal situation. I didn’t want you to be--uncomfortable.” He gasped out loud, as though just realizing. “But fuck, we’re really going to do this, aren’t we?”

“It seems that way-- if my body decides to hold the pregnancy.”

Another sound, almost like a laugh. “Jesus, Ienzo, I--we’re going to be parents. ”

“It… seems that way, yes.”

“God, I--love you.”

In the startled silence that followed, Ienzo realized it was the first time either of them had actually said it. “I love you too,” he said.

Demyx leaned in to kiss him. He rested his palm against Ienzo’s stomach. “There’s really something in there.”

“I know I need to… go back to the doctor, at some point,” he said. “Not only to tell her I plan to remain pregnant, but to gauge the baby’s gestational age. They’ll probably do an ultrasound.”

“Can I come?”

Ienzo wasn’t sure why this surprised him, or why he expected Demyx to be flighty and anxious about all this. “Of course you can.”

---

Actually seeing the baby was surreal. It was no more than a blip in a black and white wasteland, but it was there. Hearing that it had a heartbeat, too, startled him to tears. It was living, it was alive. He was apparently only six weeks into this pregnancy; another six before they could even be sure it was viable.

The anxiety of it all was getting to him. He wanted this child almost fiercely, though he had no idea why. Genetics? Instinct? Was this as Ansem told him, his heart telling him what he needed? Still, Ienzo did not dare dream of what might come of it. Not yet.

He tried his best to be healthy. He read voraciously about ideal diets despite his propensity to immediately throw it back up. Took vitamins. Tried to maintain hydration despite the steadily-increasing pressure on his bladder.

He was actually finishing getting sick at work when he heard a gentle knock on the stall door and a timid, “are you okay?”

Fuck. He thought he was alone. “I’m fine, thank you for your concern.” He dabbed at the fine sweat on his forehead. Shakily, he stood and opened the door. He saw a young man, with messy, spiky blond hair--one of the high school volunteers. Ienzo could not recall his name. Ted? Ben? He wasn’t wearing his pass, which was technically a violation of the rules.

“If you’re sick, you should go home,” the boy added. “I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

“I’m not sick or contagious. Such as it were.” He smiled wearily. “It’s a medical condition.”

“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that.” His blue eyes were terrified. “Is there anything I can do to… help you?”

“Not particularly--unless you mind me brushing my teeth.” He chanced a smile; the boy returned it nervously. The boy did what he came in here for and left, casting one more odd glance over his shoulder.

As he went through his normal daily routine… Ienzo realized he’d been slow for a time. Soon enough this “condition” would be obvious. He didn’t particularly care who knew he was trans, but he also didn’t wear it on his sleeve. Continuing would make it obvious.

Did it matter, truly? What good were secrets?

He’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

---

Ienzo and Demyx both waited with bated breath as the weeks crept past steadily. It felt as though the nausea was abating, and his energy returned; they were able to enjoy sex again. One morning he woke up and noticed after his shower that his stomach was no longer quite so flat. It would be impossible to tell unless one knew that it was a baby and not an extra five pounds, but it was visible.

The twelfth week came. According to the three month sonogram, all was well. He and the baby were both healthy. Things were becoming permanent. Demyx, who had been bursting to tell the truth for some time, told anyone who would listen, and one morning Ienzo woke up to a spam of angry texts from Naminé at not being told sooner. She didn’t buy the “we wanted to make sure” line. Then,

I think Demyx likes the cult of domesticity, she wrote. After the way we grew up… he likes the stability. He’ll love the crap out of both of you, I know that much.

A sigh. He already is. Always there to give a shoulder or back rub, to indulge his strange cravings (anywhere from kimchi to collard greens and chocolate), to not get more than vaguely annoyed when the hormones made him act like a maniac.

It was time to start planning this life for real.

#serendipity #ienzo #demyx #zemyx #ansem the wise #pregnancy #ienzo is trans

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