#also Isadora annoyed me- GET A GRIP GIRL

[amarrymeinbostonwriter]

I could have chosen ANY (or almost any) books to do my paper on and I settled on Fear of Flying by Erica Jong and Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

Gilman is a much better short story writer. I did one of my other grad papers on her short stories.

I thought Jong was one of my favorite writers but after that I don't think so. Her poetry was much better than her novel but also I read her poetry when I was literally manic so I don't trust my old opinion of her. :/

#yes Gilman is the yellow wallpaper author and that is her magnum opus (and her other short stories) NOT Herland #this was just a bad choice all around #I wanted to read both those books pretty badly until I actually read them #so very bad paper topic choice but we roll any way #Jong's book just made me glad to be single because a lot of her male characters were repulsive!!! (barf) #also Isadora annoyed me- GET A GRIP GIRL #fear of flying #herland #I read both these books in December #I'm currently reading about Branwell Bronte (Anne Emily and Charlotte's unfortunate brother) #Daphne Du Maurier did a biography on him #I'm also reading Josephine Tey's Daughter of Time where a police investigator tries to solve the mystery of Richard III #both are wayyyy more interesting to me #I still like to read just not whatever they are trying to force on me at school. I'm over it! #so this is kind of a bookblr still (I'm planning to post book covers soon maybe for my monthly read or something?) #books #bookblr #mychatter

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Forty - Klaus searches the Hospital

“You sure it feels okay?” Isadora asked. 

Duncan shrugged. “I mean… not okay, no, but the medication makes it better.” He sat up a bit more, glancing at the door. “You think we can get clothes on now? I don’t like the hospital gown.” 

“We’ll have to wait until the doctors finalize everything.” 

“And then they ask for money and we have to explain we’re orphans on the run from the law.” 

“Technically,” Isadora cocked her head, “The Baudelaires are on the run from the law. We’re running from a madman and his acting troupe.” 

“Oh, God,” Duncan slapped his forehead. “Isa, we’re just on the run from a theater kid.” 

Isadora burst out laughing. “You say that as if we’re not huge theater nerds!” 

“He’s worse than us, though.” 

“How?” 

Duncan giggled a little, curling up his knees to hug them. Then he glanced over at the door, his face falling slightly. “When do you think they’ll be back?” 

“Soon.” Isadora said, patting his hand. “They’re just running up to the library of records and coming back once they get that file. Then we’ll all figure out what it means.” 

“Where did you say the telegram came from?” 

“Black Cat Coffee. You know it?” 

Duncan shook his head. “Must be a local café, instead of a chain, or we’d’ve seen adverts, right?”

“You’d be surprised how many companies exist without our knowledge, Dun.” 

“Though,” Duncan pressed, “I bet if we figure out where there are Black Cat Coffees, we can find where the original note was sent from. Meaning-” 

“We can find Lemony’s friends.” 

Duncan nodded, smiling a little. “Then hopefully they can tell us where they sent the third part of the file. So whatever’s in it, we can have it all together, and-” 

Isadora held up a hand; when Duncan stopped talking, he, too, could hear frantic footsteps in the hall. She stood up and moved to the door, opening it slightly and peering through. “Uh-” 

She leapt back as Klaus pushed the door the rest of the way open, tumbling his way in. He kicked the door shut as Sunny screamed from his back, and then he raced to the corner where the edge of Duncan’s bed met the wall, pulled the Sunnybag off his back and leaned it against the wall, and then dropped a second bag beside it. 

“Klaus…” Duncan said quietly. “Why do you have Violet’s bag?” 

Klaus opened his mouth to respond, and then burst into tears. 

Sunny wailed from her bag, struggling to get out, and Klaus crumpled to the ground, hugging himself and rocking. Duncan shared a terrified glance with Isadora, and then he leapt off the bed, throwing his arms around his friend. 

“It’s okay. Klaus, breathe. Klaus, breathe. You need to talk to us. We need to know what’s happening.” 

Isadora raced over and knelt between the Baudelaires, but before she could move to help Sunny, the toddler finally tore through the bag’s straps, tumbling to the ground. Still screaming, she raced for Klaus, flinging herself against his leg. 

“Klaus, Klaus, look at me.” Duncan leaned back, taking Klaus’s face in his hands and making eye contact. “Look at me. We’re here. We’re listening. What do you need?” 

Isadora shook, putting one arm around Klaus and one around Duncan, careful not to touch the bandaging around his shoulder. Klaus kept shaking, trying to slow his tears, and she finally said, “Okay, one thing at a time. Have we been found?” 

Klaus shakily nodded. 

“By Olaf?” 

Another nod. 

Isadora took a deep breath. “Where is Violet?” 

Klaus gripped the edge of his shirt, and then reached down and grabbed Sunny’s hand. Though the toddler was also crying, she looked up at him and nodded, scooting closer. I’m here. We’re here. We’re getting through this.

“She- she’s still there…” Klaus whispered. “She said she’d meet us here but- but there’s no way. I waited at the bottom of the building, nobody came out of the window… she didn’t come out… they must have her…” 

Duncan shuddered, then glanced at the clock. Damn, it was already, like, six AM. How late had they reached the hospital? How long had they been here? How long…? 

“Do you know who was there?” Isadora asked. 

“I- I think it was just Esme, but… but the rest of em will have to be here.” Klaus said. “They have Violet, they’re going to kill her- Isa, they’re going to kill her-” 

“We won’t let that happen.” Isadora said. 

Duncan narrowed his eyes, and then, his investigative brain whirring into overdrive, he said, “If Esme is here, are your parents?” 

Klaus blinked away more tears, and Isadora reached to wipe his eyes. “I- I think so. I- that’s what they want. To kill us in front of them. He’s going to kill her.” 

“If your parents are here, then they won’t leave for a while.” Duncan considered. “They’ll have your parents in the hospital, but there are still doctors and nurses running around, so they won’t be able to hide them for long- unless they’re knocked out and under a pseudonym.” 

“What?” Isadora asked. 

“We put me under a pseudonym.” Duncan said. He had gone into reporter mode- facts now, emotions later. It was a tricky mode to be in sometimes- he was pretty much banned from family funerals after what had happened at Aunt Margery’s- but for now it was helpful, and he could tell. Klaus was looking at him, something shining in his eyes that wasn’t tears. Someone had a plan, so there was hope. 

Duncan leaned over, picking up Sunny and bouncing her on his knee while he thought, ignoring a throb in his shoulder. “We put me under a pseudonym,” he repeated, “So Olaf will put- no, no, if he wants to torture them, that’ll be loud. They’ll need to be in a wing where people won’t question screams. He won’t kill Violet yet, there are too many people here. Too many witnesses. But he’ll have to hide her… until he gets you.” 

“Us?” Sunny asked. 

“He wants maximum pain for your parents, right? So he needs you two for that… and he must know you’re here…” 

Sunny whimpered, and Isadora put a hand on Klaus’s knee. 

“Violet probably doesn’t have long, though, so we’ll need to move fast. We need to get out and look for her- search every room. Though, I suppose breaking out without paying for my treatment could be an issue, they’ll track us down.” 

Isadora considered, and then said, “We could leave you here.” 

“We’re not splitting up again!” Klaus cried. 

“Uise!” Sunny squealed. “We could wear a disguise!” 

“Not a bad plan.” Duncan nodded. “I bet there’ll be a storage closet somewhere. We’ll throw on doctor’s coats, beards, wigs, whatever. If Olaf can get by with disguises then so can we.” 

“We can’t search every room in the hospital, though.” Isadora said, shaking her head. “This place is enormous, I’m not even sure we could find a comprehensive map.” 

“We’ll have to try.” Duncan began, just as they heard a low buzz. They jumped, before realizing it was from an intercom above them. 

“Attention, patients,” said a cold, eerily familiar voice, and Sunny hissed while Klaus glared at the speaker as if intending to catch it on fire with his eyes alone. 

“Fuck.” Isadora muttered. 

“Babs, your former department head, has just retired to take up an occupation that involves jumping off roofs.” Olaf said coldly. They could almost hear his shiny eyes above his voice. “I am Doctor Mattathias Medicalschool, and I am now in charge. Everything shall continue as planned, but we would like to announce an exciting new program- tonight, we will be performing a cranioectomy on a fourteen-year-old girl in the operating theatre. It’s a very dangerous procedure that will hopefully go well- but, well, accidents happen. We hope to see you there. Proceed.” 

The intercom turned off, and the children looked to each other, all with levels of fury rising in them. 

“Well,” Klaus said, “There’s Violet.” 

“We can’t wait til tonight. We can’t let him do something.” Isadora said. “We’ve gotta get her out of here.” 

“Cri?” Sunny asked. “What’s a cranioectomy?” 

“Well,” Klaus said, “‘ectomy’ means ‘to remove,’ and ‘cranio’ means…” his eyes widened. “Head.” 

They stared at each other in horror, and then Duncan said, “Okay. We find a supply closet, we disguise ourselves as doctors, we find Violet and/or your parents, and we get the fuck outta here.” 

“We can’t just walk into random rooms, though. What if they expect us to do surgery?” Klaus said. “We need some reason to-” 

They heard a distant singing, then, outside their door. 

“We’re volunteers fighting disease! And we’re cheerful all day long! If someone said that we were sad That person would be wrong!”

They looked to each other. 

“The Antivaxxers.” Klaus nodded. 

“Antivaxxers it is.” Isadora shrugged. “Now let’s get out of here before a doctor comes by and finds out we don’t have money.” 

It was relatively easy to slip into a supply closet. They managed to get surgical masks on, and Isadora tied her hair into two buns while Duncan messed up Klaus’s hair. They had to help Sunny into a lab coat so that she didn’t trip over it, rolling up the ends and sleeves, and once they were all prepared, Klaus held her hand most of the time as they walked out. 

When the Volunteers Fighting Disease passed by, Klaus waved his hand. “Excuse me!” he called through his mask. “We have the day off and would like to spread cheer with you all!” 

The Bearded Man, at the head of the group, gave a wide smile. “Well, of course, brothers and sisters!” he gestured, and the other Volunteers cheered. “Come on over and grab a heart-shaped balloon!” 

Klaus cautiously lifted Sunny up so she wouldn’t get trampled, hoping nobody questioned why he was carrying a “doctor.” Nobody did, of course, and Isadora and Duncan stuck by him, holding heart-shaped balloons to try to obscure Sunny from view. Duncan flinched every now and again, and once in a while someone bumped into his shoulder which elicited a gasp, so Isadora made sure to stick close by him, hold him by the arm and make sure he stayed upright. 

From room to room they went, singing along to the repetitive, annoying jingle with too many verses to keep track of but the same tune for each one, meaning Isadora and Duncan, who were trying to sing along, kept mixing up lines- not that anybody noticed, the Volunteers were too preoccupied cheering the patients. While they held balloons, Klaus scanned the beds of every room, trying to see if anyone was Violet in disguise, wearing a mask that could conceal her face, or if there were any beds she could be hidden under, closets she could be stashed in. Isadora and Duncan kept standing by the edge of the volunteers in case any of them needed to be distracted from Klaus tearing up wardrobes behind them, but thankfully nobody seemed to notice. Or care. 

They went from room to room, floor to floor, hour after hour. But by the time afternoon had come, they were still only about halfway through the hospital, and still had no sign of Violet. 

“What do we do?” Duncan whispered, as they continued down the hall and the Volunteers sang around them. 

“We need to find where she is specifically.” Isadora murmured. 

Klaus considered, and then said, “Duncan, you said she may be under a pseudonym, right?” 

“Yeah, probably.” 

Klaus hesitated, and then stopped them as a group of Volunteers went into a room. The Bearded Man was holding open the door, and Klaus said, “Excuse me, sir, may I see your patient list? I believe I may have forgotten about a patient of mine today-” 

“Oh, of course, brother.” the Bearded Man shrugged, handing over the clipboard. “I hate reading the names of all these sick people anyway. Too depressing.” 

“Thank you!” Klaus waved. 

The Bearded Man went inside, letting the door slam behind him, and once it did, Isadora whispered, “Fuckin antivaxxers, man.” 

“Ocu!” Sunny shouted. “Come on, let’s find somewhere to look that over!” 

“Right, yeah.” Isadora nodded. “Into another storage closet to go over these patient names.” 

They found one nearby, and once they ducked in, Klaus moved to a sidetable, unclipping the papers and spreading them out. “Okay, so we’re going to need to figure out which name is Violet.” 

“We could cross out everyone we visited.” Isadora said. 

“That’ll take forever.” Duncan groaned. 

“Visi.” Sunny said. 

“She’s right.” Klaus said. “We can cross out the wards we visited and at least narrow it down.” He handed some papers to Isadora, then reached just the papers of where they hadn’t been. “Okay, what fake name do we think she’d have?” 

“Easiest would be anagram, I’d say.” Duncan shrugged, leaning over the table. 

“Ana?” Sunny asked. 

“It’s a word or phrase with the letters scrambled in order to encode it.” Duncan explained quickly. “Like… if they hid you and called you ‘Yunns.’” 

“Eeo.” Sunny narrowed her eyes. “I can’t read.” 

“Luckily, we can.” Isadora said. She glanced around the shelves of the closet, and ran to one, taking a can. “Alphabet soup. Sunny, bite these open, we’ll use the noodles.” 

“What?” Duncan said. 

“Everyone take the letters to ‘Violet Baudelaire.’” Klaus understood, nodding along. 

“And scramble names along.” Isadora said. 

“Actually, we can narrow it down more. It’ll have to have a ‘V’ in it, won’t it?” Klaus said. “So anyone with a V-” 

“We check there.” Isadora nodded. “Hurry it up.” 

With the three of them working along, it only took about a half hour of flipping papers, scrambling names, before Klaus triumphantly held up a paper. “Laura V. Bleediotie.” he announced. “Anagram for Violet Baudelaire. We found her.” 

“Thank fuck. Also, I’m not doing this doctor shit anymore.” Duncan took off his white coat, tossing it to the ground. 

“You can’t just walk around the hospital without a disguise.” Isadora sighed. 

“It’s too hot!” 

“Deal.” 

Duncan sighed. “It’s pressing on my bandages and it hurts.” 

Isadora narrowed her eyes. “Are you saying that just to get sympathy or-” 

Sunny held up her hands. “Gaughgit!” “Let’s just go get Violet, okay?” 

They nodded, and Klaus picked up Sunny again as they set out. Klaus directed them up the stairs, scanning the halls for the right room number, his hand shaking a little as he held the paper in his hands. 

When they reached the room, Isadora tossed it open and ran in, and then slid to a stop. 

“Klaus, there’s nobody here.” 

“What?” 

Duncan raced ahead, looking around. There was one bed, pressed against the wall and a little rumpled, as if someone had just been removed from it. As the Quagmires moved to it, ducking down to see if maybe she was beneath, Klaus stepped into the room, placing Sunny on the ground and squeezing her hand. 

“She’s not here.” he whispered. “She’s not here.” 

“Of course she’s not here,” said a voice behind them, and Klaus stiffened, “We’ve already moved her.”

Duncan and Isadora instinctively dove under the bed. Klaus turned to see that Count Olaf was walking forwards, his shoes clacking against the ground as he did. Klaus’s first thought was he probably can’t see the Quagmires from here. His second thought was oh, shit, he can definitely see us. 

Olaf stopped at the doorway, crossing his arms, and then he smiled and nodded. “Great disguises. I wouldn’t have recognized you if I hadn’t told you what to wear.” 

Klaus froze in confusion, and Sunny cocked her head. Then, carefully, Klaus said, “Oh, yeah. We, um…” 

“You almost look like a boy.” Olaf shrugged. “Good work there. Now what are you doing here? You’ll be needed in the Operating Room in just a few minutes.” 

Klaus shook slightly, and Sunny squeezed his hand, before saying, as clearly as she could, “Knife.” 

“Yes, we were trying to find a sharper knife.” Klaus nodded, nervously laughing. “Can’t perform a cranioectomy without a proper knife!” 

“Of course.” Olaf smiled wickedly, and then said, “Of course, we’ll need more weapons, too, for when her bratty siblings show up.” 

“Her siblings, yes.” Klaus muttered. 

“Once we have all of them in one place… then we can begin the real show, won’t we?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, you find that sharper knife,” Olaf said, “And then hurry down. If you’re late, I’ll have to start without you. And we wouldn’t want that. You’ll want to be there.” 

“Of course…” 

Olaf turned and walked away, and Klaus quickly kicked the door shut. Once it closed, he turned and said, “You two need to get out of here.” 

“What?” Isadora crawled out from under the bed, helping Duncan to his feet. “What did he-” 

“He thinks we’re his troupe members. Probably the white-faced women.” Klaus muttered, squeezing Sunny’s hand. “We have to go or he’ll realize he was wrong. We’ll go in, free Violet, and meet you outside. We’ll need to… to find a way out… but you can’t be seen with us. It doesn’t seem like he knows you’re here.” 

“We’re not leaving you!” Isadora shouted, stepping forwards. “Not when that bastard wants you there! It’s a trap, Klaus, and you know it!” 

“A trap, yes, but he doesn’t know we’re… us.” Klaus gestured to his and Sunny’s disguises. “Sunny can probably bite whatever ropes are holding her, I’ll find a way to stall and get her out, and… we’ll meet in that unfinished wing of the hospital, hide there for a bit, and then find somewhere to run. We can… can probably hijack a car… we’ll figure it out.” 

“Klaus! We’re not leaving!” Duncan insisted. He hugged himself, and said, “There’s gotta be a better way. You can’t just walk down there and expect to get out.” 

“Sacer.” Sunny smiled quietly. “That’s why we’re sending you outside.” 

“Then you won’t get caught with us if we get found out.” Klaus said. “We have to protect you.” he looked to Duncan’s wound, his face paling a little. “We’ve done a shit job of it so far.” 

“Klaus…”

He picked up Sunny, holding her close. “I’ll protect Sunny as best I can, but he expects to see us down there. If things go bad, he’s got a good chance of slipping away in a crowd due to her size. You go get the Quagmires if we get separated, Sunny, okay?” 

She nodded, but Duncan just shook his head. “There’s gotta be a better way.” 

“Well, if you can think of one, I’d love to hear it.” Klaus sighed. “Because we’ve got about five minutes before we have to be down in the surgical ward.” 

Olaf walked down the hall, leaned against the wall, and then pressed his walkie-talkie. On the other end, Esme said, “Your idiot henchpeople have just gotten the ugly little girl sedated, and I’m taking care of keeping the others quiet. This better be good, we don’t have much time.” 

“It is.” Olaf’s eyes shone. “The brats are on their way to the theatre. Be ready to begin.”

#asoue #asoue netflix #a series of unfortunate events #runaway baudelaires au #asoue fanfiction #the hostile hospital #mine #my fanfic #all those things they couldn't say

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Chapter Twenty-Three:

The One Where Violet’s Backpack Comes in Handy

“We’re dead,” Klaus whimpered as he continued to cry. He laid on his stomach looking down further into the dark abyss that was the ersatz elevator shaft at 667 DArk Avenue. “ Duncan?!” he cried down there. He waited a few seconds but no answer.

“Can you please stop saying that?” Violet huffed annoyed, untying and retying her hair. “Why don’t you try saying something positive? ”

He didn’t even turn towards her, what was the point? She couldn’t see his face and he couldn’t see hers. “Sorry,” he said sarcastically. “I’m positive that we’re dead,” he huffed. “ Isadora!?” Again, he waited several seconds but no answer.

“I swear to God,” she muttered annoyed. “Crying about this won’t help,”

“What would you like me to do, Violet?” he asked. “ We are trapped. It’s over!”

“It’s not over,”

“For you, it’s not,” Klaus cried. He turned his attention back to the darkness that laid below him. “ Sunny!?” he called. And again, he received no answer in return.

He rolled on his back sighing. “Why aren’t they answering?” he asked aloud.

“Best case scenario is he’s gagged them,”

“Worst case scenario?” Klaus asked.

“He’s moved them,”

Klaus didn’t respond. He just began to cry again. Violet and Klaus sat in the sickly eerie elevator shaft. Violet tried to concentrate on their situation but Klaus’ cries were distracting her. But Klaus’ cries weren’t stopping any time soon. He slightly trembled as he felt his body get cold. He wrapped his arms around himself as he laid in the net. “You will never see Sunny again!” repeated on an endless loop inside his head. Olaf’s voice refused to give him any peace. Violet untied her hair again, nearly giving up. She was ready to place her ribbon back into her pocket but when she reached her hand inside her pocket, her fingers grazed the cold metal of the spyglass. She smiled. She took the spyglass out of her pocket and she desperately turned the dials slowly trying to activate the light. She made sure the top of spyglass pointed away from the net that held them up. She didn’t want to accidentally burn the only thing that had stopped the siblings from falling to their deaths. As she slowly turned the dial, she remembered Jacquelyn had told her that there were over two million combinations. She didn’t have time to try all two million, she needed luck to be on her side again.

“ Duncan!...Isadora!...Sunny!” Klaus tried again desperately. “ Please someone answer me!”

“Klaus,” Violet said irritated. “If they haven’t answered you by now, they aren’t going to,”

He sat up angrily. “ This is your fault!” he shouted as he reached around the net looking for the item that he had taken from Esme’s living room table. He found it and threw it towards where he believed Violet to be.

Feeling something hit her back, Violet turned around to face where she believed Klaus to be. She glared even if he couldn’t see it. She continued to turn the dials of the spyglass. “ Excuse you?!” Violet shouted back at him both annoyed and confused. “ How the fuck is this my fault!”

“Oh, I don’t know maybe it was when you suggested trusting Esme!” he yelled.

“How was I supposed to know that she was in cahoots with Olaf and that we couldn’t trust her!?”

“Well, for starters, she’s a fucking bitch!”

“That doesn’t mean shit!” Violet argued. “Nero was a dick and he wasn’t working with Olaf!”

“We don’t know that, honestly,” Klaus argued.

“It doesn’t fucking matter!” Violet yelled. “ I”m going to fix this!” she screamed.

“You keep saying that and you’ve only fixed it temporarily!” Klaus yelled. “And then shit gets worse!”

“Well maybe if you helped me instead of blaming me for shit that is out of my control!” She wanted to throw the spyglass at him so bad but she knew she needed it. “Do me a favor either shut your mouth or help me!”

“Help you with what? ” He asks. “Look around, Violet! We’re in a fucking net in the middle of an empty elevator shaft!”

“You know you are a ray of sunshine,” Violet replied sarcastically.

“I’m realistic,”

“No, you’re unhealthily pessimistic,” Violet corrected. “You gotta believe there’s always something,”

“Can you please stop saying that?” Klaus asked. “Because when you say that all I can think about is that there’s always something that can get entirely   worse,”

She continued to work the spyglass, rolling her eyes. “It could be worse, you know,”

“ How?!” He shouted. “He has the Quagmires! He still has her! He has my baby sister, Violet!”

Violet stopped what she was doing and looked up at where his voice was coming from. She had half a mind to tell him off but she took a deep breath. “Just shut up,” she said finally. “I will figure out a way to get us out of here and then I will do all I can to save the Quagmires and your baby sister,” she said bitterly.

Klaus noticed the bitterness in Violet’s tone and immediately frowned. “I...I...I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered.

“Just...shut up. I’m trying to concentrate,” she said.

Klaus responded to Violet with silence as laid back down on the net looking up at the darkness that had swallowed him whole.

____________________________________________________

Esme and Olaf walked back to the penthouse laughing. “A story that began with a stolen object , a moving violation, a misdemeanor,” she began.

“ Two poison darts, ” he interjected with venom in his voice. “Three civil suits,’

“More or less settled out of court,” she pointed out happily.

“Ends with two orphans trapped in a net and three more being dragged to the auction house,” he said laughing.

“ I love a happy ending!” She squealed. “It’s like Wuthering Heights, which I never read.” she laughed. “I still don’t see why we had to set up the net?”

He looked at her confused. “Because we can’t kill the Snicket girl…”

“I know, I know,” she said dismissively. “Although, wouldn't it have been fun to just push one of them down the shaft to their doom and just snatched the other one?”

Olaf contemplated this for a second and then responded with a shake of his head. “No, not only do I have this feeling you would’ve pushed the wrong one to their death,” he said looking pointedly at her. “But...even if you did push the boy, it wouldn’t be as satisfying as what I have planned. I wouldn’t be able to see the splat,”

Esme rolled her eyes. “You know, darling, it has been so lonely living in a penthouse with nothing but my insane wealth, luxury and a husband I married for...complicated reasons, and also an elevator…” she explained. “If I knew adopting those brats would bring you back into my life, I would’ve orphaned them myself,”

Olaf chuckled at this as Esme proposed a toast. “To the star of a citywide manhunt and the incredibly stylish woman who found him again after all this time!” she handed him a glass of parsley soda.

“To us, darling, and to the taste of victory!” he said before taking a sip and spitting it out immediately. “What is in this!?” he asked. “It takes like shit!”

“It’s parsley,” Esme explained annoyed. “Parsley soda. It’s very in,”

“Parsley?” he asked incredulously. “Why would…”  He took another sip and spit it out again. “Who would drink this disgusting shit!”

Esme glared at him. “It’s in,” she explained again.

He just shook his head in disgust. “You really should start thinking for yourself,”

“Excuse me?” she replied.

______________________________________________________

After what felt like forever, Violet finally got the spyglass light to turn on. “Yes!” she said happily.

Klaus sat up as the small bit of light slightly illuminated their ersatz prison. He looked around desperately. He couldn’t see anything that could help them out of their situation. The only items with the two half-siblings were Violet’s backpack and Esme’s In Auction catalog that Klaus had swiped from her.

Violet glanced around, shining the light where her eyes went. She made sure to be careful when she pointed the spyglass to the net. She took notice of the catalog and looked at Klaus.

“Where did that come from?” she asked, not looking at Klaus, still angry about their little argument.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I swiped it off the table,” he admitted.

Violet gave a small smile. “I guess you are your mother’s son,” she joked, she turned to Klaus, who stared at her and frowned. “Too soon?” she asked.

“It’s not funny,” Klaus explained. Klaus felt a wave of denial wash over him. “My...my...mother,”

“ Our,” Violet corrected in an irritated whisper.

“She wasn’t a thief...she was a good woman,” Klaus replied more to himself than to Violet. He blinked his eyes and shook his head. “She isn’t like them,” he said.

“Klaus, I was just joking,” Violet said.

He shook his head as he tried to come to grips with that bombshell that Esme had dropped down to the two kids. “You didn’t know her,” he reminded Violet. “She was a good woman. She had her flaws….like everyone else,” he whimpered. “Like what happened between you and her was fucked up...or maybe it wasn’t. I don’t know...I wasn’t there,”

“Are you okay?” Violet asked as she pulled her backpack to her. Klaus sat there, staring at the wall.

He shook his head in response. “Did she steal from Olaf?” he pondered aloud. “Is that why...he…?” He placed a hand on his chest, closing his eyes. “No, no,” he told himself as Violet glanced up at Klaus. “He’s just evil for the sake of being evil. Mother isn’t to blame,” he told himself. He was slowly beginning to cry again.

“Please don’t start crying,” Violet pleaded.

“I can’t help it! Do you know what’s going through my mind right now?” he asked her.

“Probably the same things that are going through my mind,” she reasoned.

“We are going to die,” he said after a long silence. “They’re going to gut us like fish...or...or…” he closed his eyes.

Violet rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. Calm down, Vi. You can break down later. You can go off on him later. He needs you right now. She told herself as she slowly crawled closer to her brother handing him the catalog. “Klaus...it’s going to be okay,” she reassured.

“ No it’s not!” he screamed. “We are stuck in a net awaiting for our captor to come back!”

“We’re not going to be here when he comes back,” Violet reasoned. “Nothing’s going to happen to us,”

“ I don’t care about us...I care about Sunny!” he screamed at Violet. “ Did you see her eyes!? Her lifeless eyes,”

“As long as they don’t have us, she’s safe,” Violet reassured.

Klaus shook his head. “She might be alive, but she’s not safe,” he countered. “Fuck, he could be killing her now!”

“They won’t kill her,” Violet explained.

“You’re right. ” Klaus agreed. “He’s going to wait until I can witness him kill her because he’s that fucked up!”

“Hey...don’t be like that,” Violet said. “We’ll make it, you’ve made it this far,” she reminded him.

Klaus looked up at Violet, she could see that he was still crying. “Because of you and your father,” he admitted.

She gave a small smile as she began to tie together the materials she had stolen from Esme’s penthouse. She glanced at Klaus who sat there with the catalog in his lap. She handed him the spyglass. “Here, use this. I need you to figure out what item he would hide them in,” she ordered.

He took the spyglass offering her a frown. “What are you going to do?”

She smirked. “I filled my backpack with extension cords, neckties, and scarves,” she explained. “I’m going to fashion a rope and…”

“That won’t help us, not only will it be impossible to toss the rope up,” Klaus interrupted. “They closed the doors,”

Violet raised an eyebrow. “Dear brother, who said we were going up,” She said as she glanced down.

“What?!”

“Not only is there the possibility that they’re still down there just unable to answer us,” Violet explained. “But he had to get them down there somehow, There has to be an opening. We’ll use that to escape. All five of us,”

“Or we’ll be walking into his clutches. And that’s if we get down there. Do you really think you have enough materials to make it the rest of the way down?”

“We won’t know until I’ve tied it and we send one end down.”

“But extension cords, neckties, and scarves won’t make a sound when they reach the ground...how will we know if it reaches?”

Violet glanced at her backpack. “I’ll send my backpack down first, slowly. The second we hear that its made contact with the ground, I’ll start climbing down and you’ll follow behind me,” she explained as she began tying the materials together.  

“I don’t like this,” he admitted.

“It’s better than nothing,” she replied. “Now get reading,”

So for several minutes, Klaus and Violet worked in silence. Klaus read through the catalog studying everything single in item that could fit three kidnapped children inside while Violet tied several Devil Tongue Knots to the point where her hands were slowly beginning to cramp. She sighed as she took a break glancing over at Klaus.

“Have you found anything?” she asked. “Cause if you have you can help me tie,”

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “Each of the items in the auction are called lots and the catalog lists each lot with a brief description and a small picture. I’ve read up to Lot #47, which is a valuable postage stamp.”

Violet looked at him incredulously. “You’re the researcher, right? Olaf can’t hide them in a postage stamp, so you could’ve skipped that lot,”

“I’ve been skipping lots of lots,” Klaus said matter of factly. “But I’m still no closer to figuring out which one Olaf would choose. He could hide them in Lot #14, which is an enormous globe. Or Lot #25, a rare and valuable piano.”

“You can’t hide in a piano,” Violet countered.

“Actually, our Uncle Monty would beg to differ,” Klaus said with a small smile remembering the weird, random picture of the Baudelaire parents that Monty had framed on this wall of pictures. “But never mind that, right now. Back to finding the Quagmires and Sunny. See, Lot #48 is an enormous statue of a scarlet fish. Would he hide them in that?”

“I don’t know,” Violet admitted, scooting closer to Klaus to take a look at the catalog for herself.

Klaus pointed at the picture of Lot #48, Violet shrugged her shoulders after glancing at the picture. “Would he hide them in Lot #49...which is…” he said flipping the page. He gasped and Violet’s eyes widened.

“I can’t believe it,” Violet whispered. “You’ve got to be kidding,”

“This must be where he’s going to hide the Quagmires and Sunny,” Klaus said smiling.

“Weird,” Violet said pointing at the page. “There’s no description for this item,”

“There’s no way that’s a coincidence. Every other item has a description,”

“It’s not a coincidence. Remember, Duncan said everything is connected,” Violet replied glaring intensely at the catalog. Both siblings continued to glance at the page of the catalog, making sure that it was neither a hallucination nor phantasm. And it wasn’t. Right there, written in neat black type under the heading “Lot #49” were three letters. Three letters that have haunted Violet Snicket since this tale had begun. Three letters that had destroyed the life of Lemony Snicket before it had even truly begun. Three letters that were to blame for all the suffering that Klaus Baudelaire had endured. Three letters that have claimed so many lives, caused so many fires and were the reasons behind so many kidnappings including the kidnapping of two of the Quagmire triplets and Sunny Baudelaire.

Three letters that seemed to spell out the solution to the problem in Klaus’ eyes, even though these are the same three letters that Violet was more than sure was the root cause of the problem. The two children looked at one another, one smiled while the other glared. Both of them could hardly believe their eyes as they were certain that those three letters spelled out the hiding place of the Quagmires and Sunny as clearly as it spelled out “VFD”.

Violet closed the catalog and went back to tying her supplies together. “Now we are one step ahead of Olaf. If they’re not down there still, we know where they are,”

“I hope they’re down there,” Klaus muttered.

“Me too,” she replied. She handed him some materials. “Now get tying,”

The two half-siblings worked quickly but efficiently. The first few knots Violet watched to make sure that Klaus was tying them correctly. He tied those slowly listening to Violet’s instructions. Both siblings could feel the uncomfortable tension that still filled the room. Violet’s tone was still slightly angry while Klaus’ had a sense of guilt written all over it.

The silence was driving them both crazy. Klaus randomly took the spyglass using it to glance around the room. He noticed the tiny pipes that were on the wall. He nudged Violet’s shoulder.

“What?”

“Wanna hear something crazy?” He asked and she nodded. “If Sunny were here she would try to climb this elevator shaft with her teeth,”

Violet started laughing thinking about that scenario. “Hmmm,” she replied. “I’d let her,”

Klaus looked at her incredulously. “What the fuck? I wouldn’t,”

Violet laughed. “See that’s why I’m the fun older sibling,”

“No, you’re the crazy older sibling,” Klaus corrected. “There’s a difference.���

“Ahh, but if Sunny and I are the majority. That means our logic is what should be considered normal. Your logic, which differentiates from ours, would be considered crazy.” Violet said as she continued to tie knots.

Klaus rolled his eyes but laughed, He went back to work. The two siblings falling into another silence. Klaus wasn’t liking the silence, it allowed his thoughts to creep up on him and all he could think of was what Esme meant when she said she wanted to steal from them like how Beatrice stole from her and he couldn’t stop thinking about Sunny’s lifeless eyes and how Olaf declared he would never see her again.

Violet, on the other hand, was hoping for a miracle. She didn’t know if the Quagmires and Sunny were still down there and she was unsuccessful when it came to finding the saw from the penthouse but she would have to make do with what she had. She thought of her birth mother and what Esme could have meant by her bombshell. She glanced over at Klaus, who was starting to cry again. She sighed.

“What’s wrong? We’re going to be out of here in no time,”

“Six weeks,” he whimpered.

Violet looked at him confused. “Six weeks?” she repeated.

“Six weeks,” he repeating wiping his eyes.

“I don’t follow,”

“That’s how long I hated her,”

“Hated who? Mother?” Violet asked.

Klaus shook his head. “Sunny,”

“What are you talking about?”

“The first few weeks that she was born, I couldn’t stand her…” he admitted. “The crying, the attention-stealing,” he sighed. “Maybe ‘hate’ is a harsh word but...I can’t think of any other,”

“Resent?” Violet offered.

“Same difference,” he replied. “For six weeks, her first six weeks, I hated her. I...I wouldn’t even agree to their promise,”

“Klaus… why are you bringing this up? You’re only going to make yourself feel like shit,”

“I keep thinking about her eyes, Violet. You remember what she screamed when she saw us?”

“I love you?” Violet guessed trying to remember.

Klaus nodded. “I didn’t say it back. I should’ve said it back. What if she thinks I hate her and…” he wiped his eyes. “And that’s why I suck at keeping her safe,”

“Klaus,”

“Six weeks,” he repeated. “I mean, I know to you and me six weeks isn’t a long time. And she may not even remember it...but six weeks for her is a long time since she’s so young and...I...I don’t want her to think I hate her,”

“She knows you love her,”

“I failed her,” he argued. “She’s going to be stuck with Olaf for the rest of her young life,” He turned to Violet. “And you...he’s going to hurt you. He’s going to hurt you in ways that I rather not imagine.”

Violet shuddered.

“I’m sorry for dragging you and your father into this mess,” he whispered. He averted his eyes and stopped tying the materials together.

“This isn’t your fault,”

He ignored her. “Can you...can you do me one thing?” he sighed. “If...if somehow this plan fails and Olaf kills me and you see her again… can you tell her…” he stopped, choking on his words. “Can you tell her I’m sorry,” he said. “ For everything. The six weeks. The birdcage. Her getting kidnapped. Everything. Tell her I tried,” his voice choked. “And that I love her,”

“Klaus...I can’t promise that,”

“Violet, please. You heard him, he’s not going to let me see her again.”

“I can’t promise you that,” Violet said as she zipped up her backpack. “Because I’m going to do you one better. We are getting the fuck out of here and then after we rescue her and the Quagmires, you can tell her those things,”

Violet pointed the spyglass to the wall as she tied one end of her rope to a corner of the net. She reeled in the other end of her long ersatz rope and quickly tied her makeshift grappling hook to it. Before she dropped that end down the shaft, she used the broken umbrella to help her slice a big enough hole in the net. Klaus couldn’t see much in the dark even with the spyglass giving them a small ray of light. He sat there trying to watch the silhouette of Violet work. Before she dropped the broken umbrella end of her grappling hook, she looked to Klaus. “How high do you think we are?”

“I’m not sure. There’s no way to know,”

“I’m going to drop this slowly then, so we can try to determine how long our climb is,” Violet said as she began to slowly reel her grappling hook down. “I can’t imagine we’re too far up, though. We fell for quite a long time and how else would they have gotten this net here.”

“Well there are really tall ladders,” Klaus suggested. “Wait, how would they get any kind of ladder at the bottom of the elevator shaft. Even with a way out...I can’t imagine how they would manage that,”

Violet continued to reel the grappling hook down. “Shush,” she said as she listened for the faint sound of a Clank! She looked up at Klaus as she put her backpack on. “To answer your question, I’m not sure,” she said. “But we’re about to find out.”

Violet placed the spyglass in her pocket as she gripped the rope. Before she could hoist herself down from the hole in the net. Klaus stopped her.

“Violet,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry,”

“Klaus, for the last time none of this is your fault,” she said as she lowered herself halfway into the hole.

“That’s not what I’m talking about, although I do apologize for getting you into this mess,” he said.

“Then what are you sorry for?” she asked holding the rope with one hand and taking the spyglass out giving the siblings a bit of light.

“For earlier,” he said. “I misspoke. It’s not an excuse...but...I’m still fully adjusting,”

Violet sighed, looking at the remorseful expression on his face. “I get it. You were raised as an only child until you were gifted with a baby sister. You don’t need to be sorry,”

“Yes, I do,”

“I know you misspoke. You’re not like everyone else trying to invalidate my relation to our mother,”

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt your feelings,” he argued. “I do value you as a sister, not just a protector,”

“I know,”

“You know you have her attitude,” he commented.

“Huh?”

“You remind me a lot of Mom,”

“How?” she asked looking at him as if he had just told her the greatest news ever.

“You’re protective. You have a giant heart. You also don’t let them bring you down. You’re resilient,” he said. She smiled. “I mean, nothing against your dad. I’m sure you got some of it from him, too.” “But...you definitely remind me of Mom,” He put a gentle hand on her shoulder as she looked like she was about to cry tears of joy. “That’s why I feel safe around you…”

Violet smiled happily. “Thank you. You will never understand just how much that means to me,”

She put the spyglass back into her pocket after turning the light off. “Let’s go, little bro. We’ve got friends and a baby sister to save,” she said as she began to hoist herself down slowly.

He grabbed onto the rope worriedly.

She could sense his hesitation. “You got this, Klaus. Just use your feet to bounce off the wall. And don’t worry, if you fall, I’ll catch you,” she called up to him.

He began to slowly and shakily hoist himself down the ersatz rope. Violet called out words of encouragement as she continued her own decline down the elevator shaft.

“Violet?” Klaus called down when they were about halfway down.

“Yeah,”

“Thank you,”

“I haven’t really done anything yet,” she said laughing.

“I disagree,” he said. “So thank you,”

“For what?” she asked.

“For being the older sibling that I’ve always wanted,”

Violet glanced up in the dark at her brother as he said it. She smiled. She could feel the nice chill of her locket bounce on her chest as she bounced down. She felt something she hadn’t felt in a while. It was a feeling that she felt when her father was alive and he was more focused on hiding from the authorities rather than battling Olaf. She felt loved and appreciated. She felt as though she belonged. She didn’t know how long this feeling would last or if it would ever end. But what she did know was the one thing that her father had drilled in her head. Which was Snickets take care of their own and as she scaled down the ersatz elevator with her younger half-brother in hopes of saving her friends and her younger half-sister, all Violet could think about this phrase. She knew her father died trying to save her siblings and now it felt as though it was her turn to play this sick game with Olaf. But she hoped that she’d come out of the game victorious. She had to. If not for her birth mother and her siblings’ father. If not for her own father. But for them. For Klaus and Sunny. They were now her entire world and as she quietly climbed down the elevator shaft all she could think about was what she would do for them. She would set the world on fire if it meant protecting them. And it was that determination she possessed that reminded Klaus so much of his mother and it was that resemblance Violet would cling on to. She refused to let them down.

#misery loves company #violet snicket #violet snicket au #violet baudelaire #klaus baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #count olaf #gunther #esme squalor #jerome squalor #duncan quagmire #isadora quagmire #jacquelyn scieszka #jacques snicket #larry your waiter #olivia caliban #ersatz elevator #lemony snicket #daniel handler #asoue #asoue fanfic #asoue fic #asoue au #asoue netflix #asoue fandom #asoue fanbase #asoue movie #asoue books #bertrand baudelaire #beatrice baudelaire

[immiebee]

Oh god...I loved Valerius’ ending in Nadia’s Route. I’ve been working on stories for him and Lactarius, but I haven’t reached this point yet. I had to share this short before I go crazy!

*********************

A boisterous laugh filled Valerius' study on a warm sunny day. The windows opened to let in fresh air and warm sunshine into the large grand study; books lined the walls in large bookshelves, paintings of Valerius, Lactarius and their son hung on the wall. A constant reminder to continue to better himself, not just for him but for his family. Currently abandoned work documents  pushed to the side of his desk and in their place a large leatherbound book opened to reveal a knight doing battle with a great dragon.

Valerius couldn't resist his son's large blue eyes, especially when Alaric cocked his head to the side, soft pout on his lips. Damn his wife! She could teach him fire breathing for all he cared, but her signature smolder playing on his cubby face....TYRANNY! It also didn't help that the toddler was desperately clutching the large book to his small body, trying so very hard not to let it touch the floor. Nadia had let the boy keep the book when Lactarius and Alaric had visited the palace a few weeks ago. The Countess eyes sparkling when Alaric sat at the floor in front of the fireplace sounding out words, eyes squinting in concentration as he tried to read the words before him. Soon what was supposed to be a meeting for the aquaduct system turned into story time as the group took turns reading the fairytale the young boy was currently wrapped up in.

So here the partially retired Consul sat, with his son in his lap, at his desk, and reading how the brave Knight Oryn battled against the vicious Dragon. Smiling when Alaric squealed as Knight Oryn barely missed a sharp claw, rolling away from snapping jaws. The ombre haired man reaching down to playfully grab onto his son's side, mocking a growl as the Dragon's tail lashed out striking the Knight, giving his own laugh as he tickled Alaric's side. His son turning in his lap, arms raised and short ombre hair thrown back as he gave his own fierce little roar in return.

Valerius shrunk back in his chair, "Oh dear! It seems as though my son has been transformed into a dragon! What ever will I tell his dear mother?!"

The Consul falling back clutching his chest dramatically(maybe he should stop going to the theatre? or tell Lactarius that damn doctor isn’t allowed on the ground) closing his eyes, peeking open one as his two year old placed his small hands on his face. He gave a soft smile as Alaric's eyes became huge.

"No Da! It me! No faint!"

"OH THANK GOODNESS!"

Alaric squealed as Valerius sat up tickling his sides. The two of them too wrapped up in each other that they failed to see Lactarius staring out her greenhouse window across the length of the manor, eyes shining as she watched the two of them playfully swat at each other. The witch shaking her brown misscut hair, pulling it back so the undercut was clearly shown as she continued to clip and trim her overgrowing forest that she called a greenhouse. Gannen's large black body sprawled out in the greenhouse window, the Main Coon mix chittering as the birds hopped around on the stoned patio that connected the greenhouse to the outdoor garden.

As the pair finished the story, Knight Oryn having slayed the mighty Dragon and was now to wed the Princess Amata, Alaric sat in his father's lap content and tired. Valerius closing the book, craddled his son against his chest, placing his son's head on his shoulder as he picked up the scattered documents to read later. Alaric's little arms wrapping around his neck, tiny fingers twisting into his ombre braid.

"Grapes...."

Valerius gave a soft smile. It wasn't anything new that his son would randomly blurt out anything he thought of or saw. That magician's violet snake may not be cute to Valerius, but Alaric had picked up on her random outbursts. Watching the two of them (supervised under Valerius' commanding request) the two of them could make a crowd melt.

Patting his son's back Valerius murmmured softly, "Yes son. Da's wine are made from grapes."

"Moo!"

Confusion shifted in the Consul's face, "Your Momma has her cows in the barn. We can see them after you had your nap."

“Moo! Eat grapes! YUM!"

Alaric sat back pointing out behind Valerius, his bright blue eyes wide and a grin crossing his chubby face. Short ombre hair raising in excitment, mimicing his mother's excited demanor. Valerius turning his head to the window in confusion nearly dropping his son in the process. Golden eyes wide open as he stared in horror as one of Lactarius' brown Swiss cows poked her head into his study, licking her red/purple covered muzzle. Bellowing into the study to the man and his son.

"MOO!" Alaric laughed as Valerius placed him down before he raced over to the window slamming it in the cow's face, as his son bounced happily. "MOO! MOO! MOO!"

"Shoo!!! AWAY WITH YOU! NO! nonononono!!! Get away from there you beast!" Shrieking when he saw three more happily trotting through his vineyard.

Valerius opening the window to yell across the length of the manor, "Lacatrius! LACTARIUS!!!! YOUR DAMN BEASTS ARE OUT!"

Staring in horror as he saw the short woman desperately battling one of her other cows, shoving at it's chest as the brown silver cow happily munched on an uprooted strawberry bush. Quickly picking up his son and shouting for servants, Valerius had an army of guards and servants trying to contain Lactarius' five free roaming girls. As they wrangled the first two, Bane, the eldest and head guard, discovered the rowdy group had broke the fencing that went around their pasture and barn, successfully containing them until now. With two of the brown and silver cows contained in the large stone barn the group turned their attention to the three runaways.

Passing Alaric off to Mabel, the senior house maid a kind greying woman, Valerius raced off to help Lactarius with an irrate cow. The one in question, Sweet Pea (the guards having named the aggressive silver cow) throwing her head low, stomping the ground as Lactarius, her grey dungaree dress and white sun hat firmly tied around her neck, held her hand open in a desperate attempt to buffalo the cow. Valerius slowing to a stop behind Lacatrius, unsure but ready to help his wife. Thank the gods, she had rubbed off on him fashion wise. His black casual pants and knee high boots, loose white shirt were better for fighting off angry heifers, not his expesnive cashmire robes. Turning back to Lactarius, Sweet Pea wasn't falling for it, she charged forward head lashing out as she butted agianst the woman. Lactarius gripping, the heifers ears as she locked her legs in place keeping her head back from Sweet Pea's thick skull.

"OI! Knock it off you cantakerous bitch!" Another buck of the head followed by a quick session of front hooves stomping the dirt in a desperate attempt to crush toes. "Quit it Sweet Pea!"

Valerius covered his ears as Lactarius gave a loud sharp whistle. Head turning when he heard the sounds of whinnys from the stone stables, directly across from the barn. His beautiful black Arabian mare, Isadora, and Lactarius' blue roan Draft Shire, Onyx, were turned out to pasture earlier that morning. Isadora cantering up and down the fence as the chaos continued, her snorts and whinnys shrill and annoyed as people scattered about. Onyx on the other hand had stood watching, ears perked forward, breathing steady taking in the scene. That was until Lactarius' sharp whistle had him galloping away from the fence only to race back towards it, clearing the tall wooden structure.

His thunderous hooves charging towards the two humans and the irrate cow. A loud bray had Sweet Pea backing off from Lactarius, head still low ready for a fight. Onyx cantered around the couple placing himself in between the group. His large head lowered, stance wide as Sweet Pea charged again, only to be met with Onyx's flank in her face and his bucking legs. The cow backing down as soon as she realized she couldn't bully her way into the garden, turned her attention to the green and blooming vineyard. Valerius' breath hitched in his throat, pushing past Lactarius towards the blue roan Shire. "HERD HER BACK DAMMIT! HERD HER BACK!"

After an hour of Onyx playing body guard for the vineyard, all of the cattle was placed in the barn. Not without casualties, some of Lactarius' garden had been trampled and eaten, while a small section that was closest to the pasture was stripped clean from the other two that they had been dealing with. Groaning the sweaty and dirty couple sat down on the greenhouse patio under the shade of a willow. Valerius grumbling curses as he counted the cost of the damages done, Lactarius chin tucked up to her chest as she growled lowly. Those damn girls! She can't blame them, it was a beautiful day and they were just being animals. If anyone was to blame it was her, she should have built them a stone wall last year. Rubbing her eyes she stared over at Valerius, eye downcast as he met hers.

Scowl on his lips, he sighed reaching over to brush the hair out of her eyes, "It's not your fault. Your damn girls are too smart and strong for their own good." He grimaced as he picked a bit of mud from his braid, white shirt stained with mud and grape juices from helping shove the final heifer into the barn.

"I should have gone out to check the fence this morning."

"Yes you should have." Leaning over to kiss her sweaty cheek. "But then it would have made for a very boring day."

Snorting she rolled her eyes, "Well boring, but we would still be making money."

"It's not about money, love. We can make money anytime, this makes for a amazing memory."

Standing up, she stood over placing a leg on either side of his lap before sitting down. "Well listen to you, my beloved husband. I feel like our roles are reversing, shall I go up to your study and finish your work for you? I don't think I am fit to call myself your feral witch any longer."

Gripping her hips he dropped a kiss to her chest, "Never. You have brought out the best in me ever since I placed that ring on your finger." He leaned up locking eyes with hers, slowly bringing her down for a kiss. Tongues dancing, as she sank into his embrace with a soft sigh.

"SNACKS!"

The two of them nearly jumping out of the seat, turned to see Mabel walking towards the pair, smirk playing on her lips as Alaric rushed forwards with a large serving plate. On the plate was a stack of small sandwiches, fresh salad, and a small pile of bite sized fudge. Taking the plate Lactarius slid off her husband's lap to set it on the small wooden table, picking up Alaric to set in her lap. Gannen making an appearance as he sat on the edge of the wall, long tail swishing as he opened his jaw yawning. Mabel setting down a pitcher of fresh lemonade, serving it to the family before turning to leave, "While you two were out here playing round up, your boy was very helpful in the kitchen. He even helped make the sandwiches."

Lactarius hugged him tight blowing rasberries on his cheek, "Did you now?! What a helpful boy!"

Giggling Alaric picked up a sandwich chewing it and Valerius shook his head smiling, reaching over to take a sandwich for himself. Looking at his wife and son enjoying their snack, he looked over their estate and over to the fence as the guards repaired the last woodent structure under the confused stares of the cattle from their windows in the barn. Onyx and Isadora both trotting alongside each other in the evening sun in their pasture, heads thrown back, and Onyx kicking his heels. Despite the chaos and damages caused that day, many years later Valerius still held it as one of his fondest memories.

#the arcana #the arcana valerius #consul valerius #the arcana lactarius #lactarius

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Chapter Twenty-Five:

The One Where Violet Wins Lot #49 & Receives a Red Herring

The Hook-Handed Man startled as Esme Squalor and Olaf walked into Veblen Hall. “It’s almost showtime!” Esme squealed. “Think of the money we are going to make!”

Olaf laughed as he glanced towards the red herring statue. He also thought about the two orphans who were blissfully trapped in a net in an empty elevator shaft. “Oh, I am,” he cheered. He glanced towards his henchperson. “Where're the others?”

His henchperson shrugged his shoulders in response. Olaf rolled his eyes. “I need baldy to make sure no pesky volunteers try to muck up my plan,” he ordered. “Larry and Jacquelyn have gotten on my last fucking nerve,”

“Yes, sir,”

Esme glanced at the red herring statue. “Hooky?”

“Yeah?” he asked dismissively, not even turning towards her.

“Did you take care of the brats?” She asked.

“Of course. They’re in the fish, aren’t they?”

“But the fish is moving and making noise,” she pointed out.

“Goddammit,” the henchman muttered as Olaf growled.

“Can you do anything right?” he hissed at his henchperson. “How the fuck are we supposed to get away with this if they’re conscious and causing a ruckus!”

He walked over to the scarlet red fish statue angrily. Esme was right. When he reached the fish he could hear the muffled shouts of the three orphans that somehow fit in there. He could clearly see that they were also hitting the inside of the statue trying to get the attention of anyone who was near. Unfortunately, for these three children, no one was here except for Olaf, Esme, and Olaf’s henchman who was glaring at the fish with a face mixed with disappointment and irritation.

Olaf ripped open the fin of the fish and watched as the three orphans fell out piling on top of each other. Olaf grabbed Duncan by the collar of his shirt. “Do you three like pissing me off?” he asked.

“Leave him alone!” Isadora yelled shuffling to her feet before Esme grabbed her.

Duncan didn’t look Olaf’s way. He watched what was happening to his sister and Sunny. “Let me make myself clear. I have the two remaining brats…” he began before Sunny’s head shot up.

“ No!” She shrieked in the highest pitch she could. Duncan and Isadora even cringed at the sound.

Olaf growled in response, still gripping tightly to Duncan. He looked down at Sunny, offering her a wicked smile. The toddler glanced back up at him with a face that was a mix of her siblings’. Anyone who looked at Sunny could see that she was trembling slightly, either from her rage that was building up inside of her like a volcano ready to erupt, or the fear she had concerning her siblings, her friends, and even herself. They could see that her lifeless eyes were a strange mix of water and fire. With tears of anger slowly leaking out. But her expression started out one of paralyzing fear but as Olaf glanced at her and laughed her face changed into one of unbridled hatred.

“ That’s right,” He gloated. “ I have both of those miserable brats!”

“Klaus! Violet!” she screamed.

He leaned in closer to Sunny doing his best to try to intimidate the toddler. “ And once I’ve taken care to you and these twins,” he lifted Duncan a bit to indicate exactly who he was talking about. “ I’m going to come back for them. And you remember what I told you, babylaire? When you asked about your brother?” Sunny’s glare intensified but she was still paralyzed with fear. “ I’m going to do it again, but worse this time. Slower. Deeper. Sharper. He will bleed out entirely.” He hissed. Everyone in the room cringed. “And the girl...well, I can’t tell you what I have planned for her but just know that it’s very, very bad.” He smirked down at Sunny. “ And soon, I’ll find out exactly how much Snicket is worth and depending on the answer...I may not need you anymore. The only question is will you suffer a similar fate to your brother...or a unique one?’

Now if you’ve ever seen a raccoon attack a human being, you would be able to see the scene that followed easier than others. Sunny rushed to Olaf and began doing what she does best, she began to bite him relentlessly. His arms, legs, fingers, even his knees.  She moved faster than he would have thought she could after days of being in his captivity. In her fit of rage, he had to let go of his grip on Duncan, but he was able to push Duncan towards Esme, who surprisingly held a firm grip on the two triplets.

Olaf growled an inhumane growl as he tried to catch Sunny, who continued to move faster than he could, biting and nipping at him. With each bite of her sharp teeth, she broke skin causing him to bleed and yelp. The Quagmires watched in amazement even cheering Sunny on.

Olaf looked towards his henchman and Esme to help him. Esme pulled on the collars of the Quagmires in response. Her way of telling Olaf that her hands were full. He glared at his henchperson who walked over and caught Sunny on to his hook with no effort. Sunny dangled from the man’s hook struggling vigorously. Olaf had to take a minute to recover from Sunny’s attack.

“ Leave them,” She shrieked. “ Alone!”

She waved her tiny fists at Olaf and Esme. Who both glanced at each other and laughed. Olaf took a step towards Sunny. The closer he got, the fewer movements Sunny made. Fear taking over as his evil shiny eyes glared down at her.

“You have me,” she pointed out meekly.

“I do have you for now,” Olaf hissed. “If I didn’t prefer you over your annoying older brother, you’d be six feet under. But I really hope that Snicket bitch is worth both fortunes because then I don’t have to deal with your feral ass!”

“ Fuck off!” Sunny yelled. Olaf responded with a cruel grin as he raised his arm and with as much power as he could muster after Sunny’s brutal attack. He slapped Sunny across the face. The toddler's head swung to the left harshly. The Hook-Handed Man gasped in surprise as Sunny began to cry.

“You piece of shit!” Duncan yelled struggling in Esme’s grasp.

“She’s a toddler!” Isadora screamed beginning to struggle in the wicked woman’s grip.

“She needs to be taught to obey her elders,” He explained. The Hook-Handed Man was holding back every urge to hold Sunny correctly, to check her over. He looked from his boss to the young toddler stuck to his hook. Why didn’t they just listen to me? He asked himself.

“Darling, can I see your bag?” Olaf asked glaring at the toddler who continued to wail. Esme threw him her purse and Sunny’s eyes widened when she saw what Esme had in her bag. She could see Olaf pull out a muzzle that looked like it could fit her. She began to struggle in the henchman’s grip and she continued to rapidly try to bite down on either the muzzle or Olaf’s hand as he tried to strap the muzzle on to her.

“No!’ Sunny pleaded.

Duncan and Isadora struggled. Both confused as to how Esme was able to effortlessly hold on to them with her long, manicured nails.

“Don’t hurt her!”

“No! Leave her alone!”

Olaf ignored the cries and pleads of the two Quagmires as he maneuvered the toddler-sized muzzle onto Sunny’s face. Sunny stop struggling once Olaf had succeeded. “There,” Olaf barked. “Much better. Until I know what I’m going to do with her,”

“We’ll just take it off her, you fuck!” Isadora screamed.

Olaf turned around to face the two Quagmires. “Oh, you won’t get the chance,” he hissed as he pulled out a syringe from Esme’s bag and stabbing it into Isadora’s arm.

Duncan started struggling even harder in Esme’s grip as he watched Isadora’s eyes slowly close. “No! Don’t hurt her!” Duncan cried.

“Oh, she’s just sleeping. Like soon you and the baby will, too,” Esme explained.

“We can’t have you three mucking up our plan,” Olaf said grabbing for a second syringe and stabbing it into Sunny’s arm. Duncan watched in horror as Sunny’s eyes closed quicker than Isadora’s and her body seemed limp.

“You won’t get away with this!” Duncan cried. “Violet and Klaus will…”

Olaf and Esme laughed a cruel laugh that made Duncan’s stomach shift anxiously.

“They found us before…” Duncan said. “They’ll save us.”

“But darling,” Esme hissed from behind him. Letting go of Isadora’s collar. Allowing her to collapse to the ground with a harsh thud!   “Who’s going to save them?”

Duncan’s eyes went wide. “What have you done to them?” he barked at the cruel man who pulled out the third syringe.

“Nothing yet,” Olaf said.

“If you touch either one of them,” Duncan warned trying to get out of Esme’s grasp.

“Oh, Quigley,” Olaf mused.

“ Duncan,” he corrected through gritted teeth.

“What are you going to do?” Olaf asked as he stabbed the third syringe into Duncan’s arm.

Duncan could feel his eyes getting heavy. He tried to struggle. “No. No. Please. Someone...help...us,” he said limply as Esme dropped him in the same fashion as she had Isadora.

Olaf glared at his henchperson. “If you would’ve done that in the first place,”

“They were behaving for me,”

Olaf glared. “I don’t care. I don’t know how long the sedative is going to last so get some tape and rope for the older brats. Keep the muzzle on the brat and tie her hands too. I will not have any orphans mucking up my fucking schemes!” He hissed as he walked away to go change into a new pinstripe suit seeing that Sunny had ripped holes in the one he was currently wearing.

_____________________________________________________________________

Klaus continued to hug his big sister in silence until he was sure that her feet were planted back into reality and not her daydream. He waited until he could hear her hiccup uncontrollably from her crying fit.

“Vi...we need to hurry,” he told her. “The auction might have already started.”

She lifted her head and looked at him with her tear-stained eyes. She could see in his eyes the sense of urgency that was behind them. She slowly nodded her head as she wiped her eyes. “You’re right,” She took one look at the burned remains of what would have been her childhood home as Klaus did the same.

“Maybe one day,” Klaus said. “We can rebuild it and you can live in it...and…”

She smiled. “Let’s save Sunny and the Quagmires and when I inherit my inheritance we all can live here,” she agreed.

“With a library?”

“Bigger and better than the one you had before. We’ll put the boring books on the top shelves,” she said.

“And a giant kitchen?” he asked as the two started walking out of the burned remains.

“The biggest kitchen ever,” Violet agreed. “And a study for Isadora to do her poems and a study for Duncan to do his research for his newspaper. We’ll put that room next to the library so you two won’t be too far from each other.”

Klaus blushed at that. “Well then your inventing studio should be near Isadora’s study,” he joked.

Violet blushed but nodded her head. “And we’ll block off that passageway,”

“Oh, agreed,” Klaus said turning his head to look back at his old home. He frowned once more as he and Violet stepped into the street.

“We’ll just get a taxi,” she said.

“We don’t have money,”

“Ah, but that is where you are wrong,” Violet said as she pulled out her father’s wallet from her backpack.

Before Violet could signal for a taxi, a small familiar car nearly hit the two siblings.

“Out of the way,” the driver coughed. “I’m trying to get somewhere quickly!”

“Mr. Poe?” Violet asked.

“April? Klaus?” Mr. Poe replied back.

“Her name is Violet,” Klaus corrected.

“Why are you here and so dusty?” Mr. Poe asked ignoring Klaus.

Violet and Klaus rolled their eyes as Mrs. Poe was squealing over some random headline about them being covered in dust. Klaus opened the door for Violet and himself to hop into the backseat of Mr. Poe’s car.

Violet slipped her father’s wallet into her pocket. Might need this later. She thought.

“Mr. Poe there’s no time to explain. You need to give us a ride.” Klaus explained as he sat behind the banker.

“I can’t possibly give you a ride,” he replied through coughs. “I’m running late to the In Auction.”

“That’s where we need to go,” Violet explained.

“I don’t know, dear. The auction is invitation only,” Mrs. Poe explained.

“Our guardian is the one hosting it,” Klaus explained through gritted teeth glaring at Mrs. Poe.

“It is a charitable function, so let’s be charitable,” Mr. Poe told his wife. He turned to Violet and Klaus. “I’ll try and get you in as my guests.”

“Cool. Let’s go,” Violet said irritated.

“Don’t get ashes on the upholstery,” Mrs. Poe commented as Mr. Poe began to drive the car.

Several years before Violet Snicket and Klaus Baudelaire were born, Veblen Hall won the prestigious Door Prize, an award given each year to the city’s best-constructed opening, and if you ever find yourself standing in front of Veblen Hall, as the two half-siblings did that morning, you will immediately see why the committee awarded the shiny pink trophy to the door’s polished wooden planks, its exquisite brass hinges and its gorgeous, shiny doorknob, fashioned out of the world’s second-finest crystal. But the two orphans were in no state to appreciate architectural detail. Violet and Klaus stood in line with the Poes as they slowly walked up the stairs of Veblen Hall.  

If I had been either Violet or Klaus, I probably wouldn’t have entered that auction hall. I would have considered myself lucky to have gotten out of the net suspended in the middle of the elevator shaft and to have escaped Gunther’s evil plan, and I would have fled to some remote corner of the world and hid from Gunther and his associates for the rest of my life rather than risk yet another encounter with the treacherous villain. An encounter, I’m sorry to say, that would only bring more misery into the lives of all the orphans involved. But these two children were far more courageous than I might have been.

“Fuck,” Klaus muttered pointing at the bald man who was checking guests in at the door.

“I got this,” Violet muttered. “Nothing is stopping us. We got this far. Behind that door is our last chance at revealing Gunther’s true identity and his terrible plans.”

“Just past the bald man,” Klaus muttered. “Is our final opportunity to save Sunny and the Quagmires from being smuggled out of the country.”

Violet glanced at Klaus. “And within that hall lies the answer to the mystery of VFD and why the secret hallway led us to the place where your childhood home burned to the ground, burning your parents, and beginning the series of unfortunate events that haunt us wherever we go.”

Klaus looked at Violet as they were getting closer and closer to the front of the line. “Mr. Poe…” Klaus tried. “I need you to bid on an item for us,”

“Oh, I don’t think so. I’m glad you’re showing interest in the activities of your new guardians, Klaus. But I can’t condone spending large sums of money on frivolous items,” he replied sternly in between coughs.

“Look, dear, a wooden spoon with googly eyes!” Mrs. Poe squealed.

“We’ll bid high!” Mr. Poe replied. Violet and Klaus glared at him as the bald man allowed the Poes to enter but put his hand in front of the orphans.

“Halt!” the bald man barked. “You’re not on the list,”

“Olaf wants us captured, right?” Violet asked as Klaus glared at the bald man. “If you let us in…”

“That’s kind of like capturing us,” Klaus added seeing exactly where Violet was going with this.

“I need to think about this,” he replied but Violet and Klaus pushed their ways through. Instantly the two siblings found themselves in the middle of a huge crowd of people in an enormous, fancy room. Veblen Hall had a very high ceiling, a very shiny floor, and one massive window that had won first runner-up for the Window Prize the previous year. Hanging from the ceiling were three huge banners, one with the word ‘In’ written on it, one with the word ‘Auction’ written on it, and one last one, twice as big as the others with a huge picture of Gunther and Esme. Standing on the floor were at least two hundred people, and the children could tell that it was a very in crowd. Almost everyone was wearing pinstripe suits, sipping tall frosty glasses of parsley soda, and eating salmon puffs offered by some costumed waiters from Cafe Salmonella, which had apparently been considered ‘in’ again. The two children may have been in pinstripes, but they were definitely different among the crowd seeing as they were both covered from head to toe from the ashes of the burned remains of the Baudelaire mansion. But the in crowd didn’t seem to pay the children any attention seeing that they were too busy gazing at the far end of the room.

For at the far end of Veblen Hall, underneath the biggest banner and in front of the massive window, Gunther was standing up on a small stage and speaking into a microphone. On one side of him, there was a red herring statue and on his other side was Esme, who was standing and gazing at Gunther as if he were a charming and handsome gentleman instead of a cruel and dishonest villain.

“This red herring fish will be a lovely addition to any home or place of business or, how do you say, dentist office lobby,” Gunther announced. “In old country, fish is called seafood.”

Several hands shot up for bids.

“I hear eight and a half. Eight and a half from Mr. Fellini.”

“I’d like to bid on that red herring for Herring Houdini,” the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender commented. “Where I work.”

“Sold!” Gunther yelled hitting his auctioneer’s gavel on his post. “To restaurant person for unknown amount to be paid later.”

Klaus and Violet looked at one another. “I don’t get it…” Klaus muttered. “VFD is where he’s hiding them why is he having his henchpeople bid on other items?”

“Maybe a fake-out?” Violet asked. “Maybe he knew we’d escape,”

Klaus shuddered. “I don’t like thinking he’s one step ahead of us,”

“Just follow my lead,” Violet whispered.

“What is the plan anyway? Do we wait for the next lot or confront him right now?”

“I don’t know. We were so focused on getting here that we didn’t think of a plan,” She admitted. “Just...follow my lead,”

The two children watched as the white-faced women pushed the red herring off the stage.

Violet glared at the stage as Gunther was prepared to announce the next lot. Klaus followed her lead and glared daggers at the two villains who stood on the stage. Esme caught wind of the children first, her expression fell.  “Darling,” she whispered. Her eyes glaring back at Violet and Klaus. “The brats are here,”

Gunther looked at her confused and then looked to where she was pointing. Violet and Klaus glared back at the man, who started walking backwards on stage as if thinking what his next move was going to be. Klaus could see his cane in his hand as he walked around the stage.

“Orphans in!” he yelled happily pointing at Violet and Klaus. “It’s okay for the orphans to be here, please,” he replied to Esme. Esme gave him a rather confused look but she nodded her head as she gave the two children a devious smile.

Violet and Klaus looked around for Mr. Poe and his irritating wife.

“We proceed as normal, please, to the crying of Lot 49,” Gunther announced glaring at Violet and Klaus.

“Lot 49,” Violet said happily.

“That’s VFD!” Klaus said back happily.

“We’re not too late,” Violet agreed.

Klaus turned desperately to Mr. Poe. “Can I use my fortune to bid on an item?” he asked.

“Your parents’ will has no provision for public sales,” Mr. Poe explained.

“Can’t you bid on it for us?” Violet asked desperately.

“As a favor?” Klaus cried.

“Our friends’ and sister’s lives depend on it,” Violet explained.

“You shouldn’t use hyperbole, Wine,” Mr. Poe replied. “But...I could make a modest bid. I did receive that promotion,”

“I still don’t know how,” Klaus muttered as Violet elbowed him.

“Don’t insult him, he might help us,” she whispered.

“You still don’t understand how this plays out, do you?” Klaus whispered back. “He isn’t helpful, at all, ever.”

Mr. Poe glanced at the catalog. “Lot 49...VFD?” he read aloud. “What in the world is VFD?”

“It’s a surprise,” Klaus said. “A surprise...I want to get for Sunny when we find her,”

___________________________________________________________________

Larry made sure to keep his face hidden in the small sea of costumed waiters. He had somehow infiltrated Veblen Hall and was waiting for his back up before he did anything. He grabbed his walkie-talkie. “Larry Your-Waiter,” he said. “Did you get past the bouncer?”

“Not yet,” Jacquelyn replied hurriedly. “But he has to let me in. I am on the list,” she said as she walked passed the bald man. “Yessica Haircut,” she called out as she passed him.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Our agents have infiltrated the auction,” Jacques told Olivia. “If we hurry, we can help,”

“I’m already going sixty in a fifty-five zone,”

“Floor it,” he ordered. “This lengthy chronicle of woe and unpleasantness ends today!”

___________________________________________________________________________

Gunther smirked at the crowd, glancing specifically at Violet and Klaus, who glared back at him. “VFD, of course, needs no introduction, as is known all over the world in countries that are foreign and not so foreign.”

Gunther didn’t turn his head but he could hear a harsh slam like a platter being slammed into someone’s face.

“As you see, is prime specimen, this VFD. Very large with a few air holes poked in the top at the last minute,” Gunther commented as Violet and Klaus’ eyes widened. All they could imagine were their two friends and baby sister being utterly terrified that they were going to be smuggled out of the city. “Ladies, please turn the box around on all sides so everyone can see all of the angles.”

“Actually,” Larry said, no longer in his stupid salmon suit. “I identify as a man.” Klaus looked at the waiter happily as if someone was finally helping them rescue Sunny and the Quagmires.

Gunther glared at Larry. “Where is women of advanced age, please? And the other guy? One with, how do you say, alternative fingers?”

“Let’s start the bidding!” Someone in the crowd yelled.

“Yes, Gunther,” Jacquelyn said rushing up to the stage. Giving Violet a kind smile on her way up. “That’s what any legitimate auctioneer would do.”

Esme glared at the two VFD volunteers and gave a nervous glance towards Gunther. Who simply smirked at Jacquelyn. “Very well, please.” Gunther hissed. “Please, What is first bid, please?”

“I bid twenty,” Mr. Poe called out.

“Fifty,” some random woman in the crowd yelled.

“Fifty-five,” Mr. Poe countered.

“We have bid of fifty-five from unhelpful banker,” Gunther announced.

“Sixty!” Mrs. Poe yelled.

“You’re bidding against me, darling.”

“It’d look nice in the powder room,”

Gunther looked at the hopeful faces of Violet and Klaus and decided to have some fun with them. He glanced towards his henchperson indicating that he wanted them to bid on this item.

“Seventy,” the henchperson of indeterminate gender called out.

“Eighty,” Mr. Poe called.

“Ninety,” they countered.

“Oh, goodness. It’s getting expensive.” Mr. Poe told Klaus and Violet. “Are you sure you want VFD?”

“ Please, Mr. Poe.” Klaus pleaded desperately. Violet was too busy counting the money in her father’s wallet.

“Very well then,” Mr. Poe answered. He turned his attention back to Gunther. “One hundred! And that’s my final offer!”

Gunther smiled happily towards the crowd. Klaus’ heart sank as Olaf’s henchperson called out a bid. “One hundred twelve!”

Klaus looked at the box, imagining Sunny and the Quagmires being trapped inside of it. Fuck it. He thought. “One hundred thirteen!” he yelled.

“One hundred nineteen!” the henchperson yelled.

Still counting the money, Violet yelled. “One hundred twenty-one!”

“One hundred twenty,”

Gunther looked at his henchperson unamused as Klaus looked at them confused.

“Darling,” Esme said irritated. “One hundred twenty is less than one hundred twenty-one,”

“It is?”

“Yes!” she hissed.

“Okay, sorry. I bid two hundred.”

Gunther looked like he was about to choke. He glared at his henchperson. The crowd gasped as Klaus looked nervously towards Mr. Poe.

“What do I care? It’s not my money anyway,”

Gunther looked ready to kill his henchperson as Mr. Poe turned to Klaus. “I’m sorry, but I cannot let you bid any higher,” Mr. Poe explained. “I don’t want to spoil you,”

Klaus looked at Mr. Poe worriedly. “Please...you don’t understand.”

“Let someone else have a turn,” Mrs. Poe said.

“I have a bid of two hundred,” Gunther hissed. “Please, from someone who will be yelled at later. Pack it up and take it away, please,” he said but before he could hit his gavel down. A man entered Veblen Hall.

“Not so fast!” he yelled.

Violet and Klaus looked behind them to see who the familiar voice was coming from.

“Jerome?” Esme asked annoyed.

“Yes, darling,” Jerome said as Violet and Klaus smiled at him. “I’m sorry I’m late. I could not get off the sofa this morning. Must have been something I ate,” he said accusingly.

Esme glanced nervously at Gunther.

“Hello, everyone!” Jerome said as he began to walk towards the children. “I am proudly one of the legal guardians of Violet Snicket and Klaus Baudelaire,” he said pointing at each child as he said their names. “In the short time they have been under my care, I have been impressed with their intelligence, their fortitude, and their charm.”

Violet and Klaus looked at one another smiling. “At least in the hours that I was awake,” he noted. “They’re noble children, like their parents.” He reached the two children, putting a gentle hand on one of their shoulders. “Therefore, if they’re interested in a cardboard box with air holes in it. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure they get it.”

“Thank you, Jerome,” Violet replied.

“You don’t know how much this means to my sister and me,” Klaus replied.

“Two hundred and four!” he yelled.

“Jerome. Darling. Love of my life. Don’t be an idiot,” Esme replied. “You don’t know anything about what is going on,” she turned wickedly to Gunther. “Two hundred and five,”

“Esme, love of my life. I am tired of being treated this way,” he said glaring at her softly. “Two hundred and six,’

“Well…” she said smirking. “Maybe I’m tired of you! Two hundred and seven.”

“Maybe I’m tired of both of you! 208!”

“I’m tired of failure and hopelessness in the face of treachery and doom!” Larry yelled. “Two hundred nine!” he glared daggers towards Olaf.

“I’m tired of self-indulgent existential crises and an overabundance of hardcover books!” Olaf replied glaring at Jacquelyn and Larry, not using his disguised voice either.  “Two hundred ten!” He shrugged his shoulders.

Suddenly, the doors of Veblen Hall opened quickly. The crowd gasped as everyone turned to the two people that were entering the auction. “Two hundred twelve!” the man yelled.

Gunther glared at the two adults who had just entered. His eyes focused on the man. He could feel his blood boil. “ Snicket!” He hissed under his breath, glancing over at Violet hoping she didn’t hear him.

“You’re not on the list!” The bald man yelled at Jacques grabbing him by the shoulders. “Two hundred thirteen!”

“I have a splitting headache,” the hook-handed man explained attacking Larry “Two hundred fourteen and a half,”

“I have a degree in welterweight boxing,” Jacquelyn cried attacking the Hook-Handed Man in an attempt to help Larry. “Two hundred fifteen!”

“So do we!” the white-faced women yelled as they grabbed Jacquelyn’s arms pulling them back. “Two hundred sixteen!”

“Why is my secretary fighting with those two old ladies?” Mr. Poe asked. “Two hundred seventeen!”

“Two hundred eighteen that I took from my husband’s wallet!” Esme called out angrily.

“Two hundred nineteen!” Jacques cried from under the bald man’s arm, seeing that Olaf’s henchman grabbed him in a headlock.

“A quarter past eleven!” the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender cried from under Olivia’s arm, seeing that Jacques’ associate pulled him into a headlock.

Gunther smiled happily towards his henchperson. “I got quarter past eleven from person I no longer have to yell at!” he said. Olivia glared at Gunther in confusion as Klaus looked towards Olaf pissed. “Going once! Going twice!”

Violet’s head shot up. “ONE THOUSAND!” she yelled as she grabbed all of her father’s money, quickly folding it twice to make it look like she had more than she actually had. Klaus looked at her confused.

“What did she say?” Mrs. Poe asked looking over at Violet.

Esme and Gunther looked at one another but ignored Violet. Violet stood up quickly. “I said one thousand!” she yelled again.

Violet glared daggers at the two villains as she held up the wad of money for them to see. She glanced down at Klaus, who looked back at her with a hopeful expression. Violet gave him a small smile. Even if she knew for a fact that she didn’t have that amount, she knew that Sunny was worth so much more than a mere thousand dollars. So were the Quagmires...so was Klaus. They were worth her entire inheritance and then some. Gunther looked at Esme confused pondering what he should do.

“My sister said one thousand, fuck face!” Klaus yelled standing up alongside Violet. Violet showed off a wad of money to the crowd.

“Where in the world did you get that kind of money?” Jerome whispered to Violet. Slightly hoping that he wasn’t expected to pay that much for a cardboard box.

“When my father died, he left me his wallet,” Violet explained.

“Your dad is fucking amazing,” Klaus said happily.

Esme smiled at the wad of money in Violet’s hand as the siblings glared at her. She shrugged her shoulders towards Gunther, offering him a slight nod of the head.

“ The bid is one thousand,” Gunther hissed through gritted teeth glaring at Violet.

“Good grief!” someone in the crowd yelled. “I’m not going to pay more than a thousand for VFD. It’s simply not worth it!”

“It is to us!” Violet stated fiercely.

“ Please...let the pretty orphan give the big money to the pretty lady and then the auction is over!” He hit his auctioneer’s gavel on his podium. Violet shoved the money into her father’s wallet and placed it safely back into her pocket.

“ The only thing that’s over is your horrible plan!” Klaus yelled as he and Violet began to rush the stage.

“ How dare you!?” Gunther hissed at Klaus, tapping his cane on the ground in irritation.

Olaf’s henchpeople looked at one another as Klaus and Violet finally reached the stage. Desperately pulling the tape off the box ignoring Esme holding out her hand awaiting the thousand dollars that Violet had promised her.

“Ah ah ah. You can’t open this box until you give me the money,” Esme pointed out glaring at the children. “ That’s illegal!”  

“ What’s illegal is auctioning off children, you bitch!’ Violet hissed back trying to open the box to show the crowd what she was talking about.

“Not everywhere,” Esme pointed out smiling.

“ Soon this whole room will see that you’ve broken the law and our baby sister and friends are in this box!” Klaus cried desperately pulling at the tape.

Jerome gasped as his eyes got wide. Jacques looked to the stage in utter confusion.

“Sunny and the Quagmires?” Mrs. Poe asked. “Oh, wait until the readers The Daily Punctilio hear about this!”

“Children!” Mr. Poe called to them sternly.

“ Sunny!” Klaus cried. “ Duncan!”

“ Isadora!” Violet cried both siblings desperately trying to open the box.

Gunther had enough. He lifted up his cane and walked toward the orphans. “ Sunny!” He mimicked. “ Quagmires!” he pushed a button on his cane that showed off a small but sharp dagger similar to the one that Sunny had fought against when she sword fought Dr. Orwell during her and Klaus’ stay at Paltryville.

Gunther stabbed the box harshly with his cane. Causing Klaus and Violet to let go of the box and jump back in shock.

“ No!” They both screamed as Gunther used the cane to lift the box into the air. The two half-siblings watched as the box flipped several times in the air. Then as they were prepared to catch the box they watched in horror as Gunther threw his cane at the box causing it to break open.

Gunther and Esme watched as the box erupted with thousands of doilies.

Violet and Klaus watched as the box fell to the ground. Not having a single person inside. Esme cackled as doilies rained on the two unlucky children, who looked at each other in despair and confusion.

Gunther was swinging his cane around, smirking at Klaus and Violet. He didn’t notice that he accidentally hit his left boot.

“ Doilies?!” Violet cried in confusion.

“I-inside the box...were...doilies?” Klaus asked about ready to cry.

Klaus glared daggers at Gunther as Violet looked from the doilies that were still falling around her and her brother.

“Oh, of course, ‘Very fancy doilies’! What else could VFD stand for?” Jerome called up to them from his seat.

Violet looked at Jerome in utter disbelief. She then noticed the man who had randomly walked into the auction hall to help them. Klaus was still busy paying attention to Esme and Gunther. Violet watched as the familiar woman glanced towards the man and he shook his head immediately. He’s with VFD. the real VFD. She thought. She tried to get a better look at the man. For a moment, it seemed to her that he resembled her father.

“Yes, what in the world could VFD stand for, dusty orphans?” Gunther asked mockingly still playing with his cane.

“ Where is she!?” Klaus cried taking a step closer to Gunther. “ Where are my baby sister and my friends!?”

Esme stepped between Klaus and Gunther, unsure of what either one would do. She didn’t want Gunther to murder the young boy in front of so many witnesses. “

Mr. Poe stood up. “Klaus! Plum! I am very disturbed by your behavior! You look like you haven’t washed in a week. You’re spending money on ridiculous items. You’re running around accusing foreign men of being Count Olaf in disguise. And now you’ve made a big mess of doilies on the floor. I would have thought that the Squalors would be raising you better than this!”

“Well, we’re not going to raise them anymore,” Esme said glaring at the two children. “Not after they’ve made such a spectacle of themselves! Mr. Poe, I want these two brats placed out of my care. It’s not worth it to have orphans, even if they’re in!”

“Esme!” Jerome cried. “They lost their parents! Where else would they go?”

“Don’t argue with me, you spineless jellyfish!” she yelled angrily. “And I’ll tell you where they can go! They can go…”

Gunther’s eyes lit up with an idea. “ With me, please!” he said and placed one of his scraggly hands on Klaus’ shoulder. Klaus remembered when this treacherous man used his make-shift grappling hook to carve him like a pumpkin and he began to shake under the vicious man’s touch.

“Get away from him!” Violet warned stepping closer to Klaus and Gunther.

“I am loving of these children,” he said to Mr. Poe, putting a hand on Violet’s shoulder, grabbing her roughly. She watched as the man who looked similar to her father glared daggers at Olaf the second he put a hand on Violet. “I would be very happy, please, to raise two children of my own.”

Esme smirked to Gunther and nodded her head. “Very well then. They are my orphans to giveaway. You may take them off my hands,”

Klaus looked to Jerome for help as Violet glanced at Mr. Poe. Neither adult did anything.

“Can someone, please, help me bring these two lovely orphans, please,” Gunther said. “To my car, please. We can go back to my country…” he leaned into Klaus and Violet’s ears. “Very, faraway. Where no one will hear your screams.” he hissed.

“Yes. Yes. Someone put these children in a long black automobile,” she ordered grabbing Klaus by the wrist. “They’re dirty and their clothes are frayed. ”

Gunther smirked at Klaus and waved at him as Esme began to drag him across the stage. “But so are his!” Violet yelled looking down at Olaf’s left boot.

“Frayed?” Gunther asked. “I’m afraid not,”

Esme began laughing at Gunther’s joke. Gunther laughed with her for only a second as he felt his boot peel apart like a banana. “Woah...I’m a...Oh,” he said nervously.

Violet and Klaus smiled when they realized that Olaf was turned in the correct angle for everyone to see his ankle. “He has a tattoo of an eye on his ankle!” Jerome yelled standing up. “He’s not Gunther! He’s not a foreigner at all!”

“Arrest this man!” Mr. Poe shouted.

“Wait until the readers of The Daily Punctilio read about this!” Mrs. Poe squealed.

The two children heard gasps from the crowd. Esme glanced at Klaus and then at Olaf, who was smiling nervously at the crowd, some of which began to stand up and approach the stage. She let go of Klaus’ wrist and ran up to defend Gunther. He pushed the button of his cane again, pointing the dagger at the crowd.

“Calm down, everyone!” Esme yelled to the crowd. “Don’t blame foreigners for your problems,”

Esme stepped in front of Olaf but he continued to point his dagger at the crowd.

“He’s not a foreigner!” Jerome yelled. “He’s from the same country as we’re in right now!”

“Well that’s no reason to arrest someone!” she countered.

“He’s a criminal! That’s reason enough!” Klaus cried.

“Arrest her, too!” Violet shouted glaring at Esme.

“Klaus Baudelaire is right! He’s the subject of a citywide manhunt! He’s a source of pain and suffering, not to mention hours of negotiations at Mulctuary Money Management!” Mr. Poe commented.

Larry and Jacquelyn started closing in on Olaf as he pointed his dagger at them, they pointed their spyglasses at him. Esme glared at Jacquelyn as Olaf kept looking frantically back and forth from Jacquelyn to Larry to the two orphans were looked ready to murder him. Jacques and Olivia began to slowly walk towards the stage, hoping to not be seen by Olaf.

“Wait!” Esme yelled to the crowd. “Before you rush to judgment,”

“Rush to judgment!?” Klaus cried. “That fucker has our sister!”

“And our friends!” Violet yelled. “And you’re in cahoots with him!”

Jacques looked from Violet and then Esme. Violet glanced at him, they both made eye contact. She didn’t know him but he seemed to believe her. He gave her a slight nod of his head as he took another cautious step towards the stage.

“There’s something I need to share,” Esme said smiling as sweetly as she could. Klaus and Violet looked at one another and glared at Esme and Olaf. “All my life, I’ve climbed the ladder of success armed only with ruthless ambition and a large inheritance. I’ve paid my dues for weeks to become the city’s sixth most important financial advisor, to become this statuesque powerhouse that stands gorgeously before you. I had the whole world at my remarkably small feet...and yet,” she stammered. “I had a feeling there was something...missing.”

Violet and Klaus continued to glare at her as most of the crowd was listening to the bullshit that was spewing from Esme’s mouth. Jerome and Jacquelyn looked like they were even falling for her shit. She turned to Violet and Klaus, offering them a cruel smile. The children watched as her smile faded into a nice, kind one as she addressed the audience. “It wasn’t until I opened my home to two orphans that I realized just exactly what it was,” she said.

“Awwww,” the crowd replied, even though Violet and Klaus knew damn well she wasn’t talking about them.

“ It was Count Olaf!” she squealed happily. There were tears in her eyes. Olaf smirked at the crowd removing his ridiculous monocle and set off fake teeth to disguise his disgusting, putrid smile.  He winked at Jerome as Esme continued to praise him. “He’s a genius! He’s a wonderful acting coach! He’s back in my life after many lonely and successful years, helping me pursue single-minded, cold-hearted, perhaps slightly overzealous revenge!” she paused. “My boyfriend, Count Olaf! The handsomest, innest man in town!”

“H-how can you say that?” Jerome asked sadly. “You’re my wife! And besides, ruthless kidnappers aren’t in!”

Count Olaf smirked first at Jerome. Then he turned his gaze towards Violet and Klaus. “How right you are!” He said smirking. “We’re not in! We’re out! Out of the city, that is! ” He grabbed Esme’s arm hurriedly. “Come on, Esme!”

“Don’t let the despicable man escape for a sixth time!” Mr. Poe cried from his seat.

“Don’t let him escape with Sunny and the Quagmires!” Klaus pleaded.

“Again!” Violet yelled. She took another step closer to Olaf. He pointed his cane at her. “What you gonna do?” she asked. “You can’t kill me,” she smirked towards Olaf as she took another step towards him.

He and Esme backed up worriedly. Esme was looking at him. “Just stab the brat,” she whispered.

He growled, seeming to weigh his options.

“It’s all over for you, Olaf!” Larry yelled stepping in front of Violet.

He pointed his dagger at Larry. Before he could stab Larry, Jacquelyn took a step closer to him from behind. “Veblen Hall is the end of the line!” Jacquelyn yelled.

Olaf gently pushed Esme away from Jacquelyn and stepped in front of her to shield her from the VFD volunteers who were coming to the stage. Jerome, Jacques, and Olivia glared at Olaf as the Larry and Jacquelyn were closing in on him. Even Violet and Klaus were doing their best to help the adults capture him.

Olaf looked worried until Esme caught a newspaper being flung at her from the paperboy. She read the headline and smirked to herself. “ Perfect,” she whispered. “I got this, dear.” She unfolded the paper towards the crowd. She screamed loudly to get their attention. “ Veblen Hall out! Milton Friedman Hall in!” she yelled.

The two villains watched in confusion as the crowd gasped and began to exit their seats in a hurry to leave Veblen Hall rather than arresting two terrible villains and saving three unfortunate orphans. Klaus and Violet watched the crowd. “No!” they cried.

Olaf and Esme looked at one another and shared a devious smile. Jacques had enough. He started trying to push past the crowd of vapid rich people to reach the stage. In a matter of seconds, he realized this attempt was pointless. He sighed, glancing at Violet one last time before turning to Olaf. He could see that Olaf was taking the opportunity to use the VFD tunnels to escape from Veblen Hall. He looked ready to cry as he glanced back at Olivia. “We better clear out before we’re swimming upstream,” he said.

“What?” Olivia asked. “What about Olaf?”

“I know where to find him. Veblen Hall might be the end of the line, but it’s the start of a tunnel.” Jacques explained. “Hurry to the taxi,”

“But what about Violet…?” she asked glancing at Violet and Klaus who were rushing towards the tunnel entrance hurriedly.

“Jacquelyn will give us her location,” he called out as he ran out of Veblen Hall.

“Shouldn’t we take them with us?” Olivia asked but she followed Jacques hurriedly.

Once he was in the tunnels, Olaf used his cane to lock everyone else out. He and Esme began to cackle loudly as they ran down one of the tunnels happily. Jacquelyn and Larry tried their best to pry the entrance open but with no luck.

“They have Sunny,” Klaus cried as he looked at the Poes.

“They have the Quagmires,” Violet cried.

“But you said the Quagmires and Sunny were inside that box of doilies,” Mrs. Poe responded.

“I guess that wasn’t his plan after all,” Violet admitted meekly.

“That wasn’t his plan,” Jacquelyn told Larry, standing only three feet behind the two orphans.

“It was a red herring,” Klaus realized sadly.

“It was a red herring,” Larry reiterated to Jacquelyn.

Simultaneously, the two orphans’ heads shot up as the two volunteers heads’ shot up. “Red herring!” Violet and Klaus cried.

“Red herring!” Jacquelyn and Larry cried.

The four ran as fast as they could out of the Veblen Hall.

The words ‘red herring’ does not only refer to a type of foraging fish that may have a crimson hue due to being smoked or painted with excessive nail polish. They can also refer to a distracting or misleading clue, such as a box marked VFD that had nothing to do with a secret organization or a pair of kidnapped triplets and a kidnapped toddler.

For instance, if I told you that two brave and noble volunteers were giving chase to Count Olaf and his kidnap victims.

“By George!” Larry cried.

“Heavens to Betsy!” Jacquelyn cried as they both glanced around looking for any of Olaf’s horrid associates.

That would be a red herring, because it would imply that Olaf was about to be captured, which, I’m sorry to say, was not the case.

Violet and Klaus reached the front steps of Veblen Hall in time to see Olaf’s black car with a red herring statue tied to the top of it speeding away from the scene of the crime.

If I told you the city’s most prominent journalists and banking vice presidents were also giving chase that would be a red herring.

“Wait until the readers of The Daily Punctilio hear about whatever just happened!” Mrs. Poe squealed as Mr. Poe chuckled.

That would imply the Quagmires and Sunny Baudelaire were about to be rescued, which I’m sorrier to say was also not the case.

“ Sunny!” Klaus yelled desperately. “ Duncan!”

“ Isadora!” Violet yelled desperately. “ Sunny!”

And if I told you that Violet Snicket and Klaus Baudelaire were about to be offered a safe home, that would be a red herring, too.

“Violet!” Jerome yelled kindly. “Klaus! It’s not safe for you to chase after a dangerous villain or her boyfriend,”

“We need to rescue Sunny and the Quagmires,” Violet cried as tears formed in her eyes.

“Let the authorities handle Olaf. It’s a city-wide manhunt,” Jerome explained.

“ That fucker was here the whole time and the authorities didn’t notice!” Klaus yelled miserably, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Don’t be hard on them,” Jerome said softly. “You didn’t recognize Olaf until it was too late.”

Klaus looked at Jerome angrily. Shaking his head. He opened his mouth to argue but for once, he agreed with Jerome. There was no need to argue. But Klaus didn’t decide to argue because he simply hated arguing...he just knew whatever he said wouldn’t be taken seriously and he didn’t want to waste his breath arguing with his kind, but ineffectual guardian.

“But I am awake now, from Esme’s treachery,” Jerome said angrily. “And after a very long nap, and I’m still your guardian. And from now on, I promise you can forget all about Count Olaf,”

Violet and Klaus looked at him in disbelief. “ We will never forget about him.” Violet hissed miserably.

“ We’ll never forget Sunny or the Quagmires,” Klaus cried.

“We have to rescue them,” she pleaded. “And find the truth about the underground tunnel between your elevator and Klaus and Sunny’s old home.”

“And whatever the fuck VFD is,” Klaus added. “We have to track down Olaf and learn all the secrets he’s keeping from us.”

“We’re not going to track down Olaf,” Jerome said sternly, shuddering at the thought. “We’ll be lucky if he doesn’t track us down. As your guardian, I cannot allow you to try to find such a dangerous man. Wouldn’t you rather live safely with me?” he asked in a pleading tone.

Violet and Klaus looked at one another.

“Yes,” Violet admitted. “But our baby sister and our friends are in grave danger. We must go and rescue them.”

Jerome sighed. “You are in far too much danger, children. I know you’re worried about your sister and friends. But let other people track down Olaf. Let me keep you safe!”

“ Nowhere is safe with Olaf at large,” Klaus pointed out.

“We’ll never be happy if our friends and baby sister are in danger,” Violet cried.

“We are going to find them and you can help us,” Klaus said.

Jerome frowned at the kids.

“ Please,” Violet begged.

Jerome sighed. “If you’ve made up your mind, then you’ve made up your mind,” he said looking towards the ground. “I’ll tell Mr. Poe to find you two a new guardian,”

Klaus looked utterly disappointed. “You mean...you won’t help us? You’re abandoning Violet and me when we need you the most?” he asked.

He sighed again. Pulling each child into a tight hug, giving them a quick kiss on the forehead. “You children are very dear to me,” he said, tears forming in his eyes. “I wish I had your courage. Your mother always said I wasn’t brave enough,” he chuckled. “I guess she was right.” He frowned. “She was also right about Esme only marrying me for my underground tunnel.” He patted the two orphans on the shoulder. “I wish you two the best of luck. I think you’re going to need it.”

The two siblings watched in amazement as Jerome walked away, not even looking back at the two orphans he was leaving behind. As if they didn’t truly matter to him after all. They found their eyes brimming with tears once more as they watched him disappear from his sight. They would never see the Squalor penthouse again, or spend another night in their bedrooms, or spend another moment with Jerome going around town reminiscing the good ol’ days when their parents were alive. Though he was not as dastardly as Esme or Count Olaf, Jerome was still an ersatz guardian, because a real guardian is supposed to provide a home, with a place to sleep and something to wear, and all Jerome had given the two siblings in the end was a simple ‘Good luck’. Jerome reached the end of the block and turned left and with that Violet and Klaus were once again all alone in the world.

Klaus sat down on the steps of Veblen Hall bursting into tears. “Are we cursed?” he asked.

“Well, if we are...we get it from our mother,” Violet joked but Klaus didn’t laugh. She sat down next to him.

“Are we so hard to love?” he asked looking at her. Violet frowned. “Are we so hard to help? To take care of? To protect?”

She sighed. “No,” Violet replied. “Cause I’m going to do all that and more,”

“What about you?” he asked.

“What about me?” she asked confused.

“If you’re busy saving everybody...who saves you?”

“Well, for starters I have the world’s best little brother and sister, for that,” she said. “And two amazing friends.”

“All you have...is me,”

“And you have me,”

“You have the short end of this stick,”

“I disagree,” Violet said. “But even if it that were true...I’m the eldest. I have to make sacrifices.”

He rolled his eyes as he glanced down at the yellow hair ribbon that Violet tied to his wrist.

Violet sighed, staring down the street in the direction that Olaf’s henchpeople went. “I hope my inventing skills don’t fail me,” she said after a minute. “Because going to need more than good luck to rescue the Quagmires and Sunny.”

Klaus sighed, staring down the street in the direction where the ashy remains of his childhood home once stood. “I hope my research skills don’t fail me,” he said. “Because we’re going to need more than good luck to solve the mysteries that surround the Snicket and Baudelaire names.”

“And Quagmire,” Violet added.

“And Quagmire,” Klaus agreed.

Violet Snicket glanced down at her younger brother with a faint smile. She smiled because she didn’t think her inventing skills would fail and she believed that Klaus’ research skils wouldn’t fail them either. Klaus looked up at his sister, offering her a faint smile in return. He hadn’t known her for long but he knew that she wouldn’t fail him. No matter how many misfortunes had befallen the children and no matter how many ersatz things they would encounter in the future, the two orphans knew they could rely on each other for the rest of their lives, and this, at least, felt like one thing in the world that was real and true.

#misery loves company #violet snicket au #violet snicket #violet baudelaire #klaus baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #count olaf #gunther #esme squalor #duncan quagmire #isadora quagmire #jacques snicket #olivia caliban #larry your waiter #jacquelyn scieszka #mr. poe #ersatz elevator #lemony snicket #bertrand baudelaire #beatrice baudelaire #beatrice baudelaire ii #daniel handler #asoue #asoue au #asoue fanfic #asoue fanbase #asoue fandom #asoue fic #asoue netflix #asoue movie

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Chapter Eleven:

The One With Higher Stakes and Dire Consequences

“Thank you for taking the time out of your busy orphan schedule to see me,” Vice Principal Nero barked, yanking open the door before they could knock. The children looked uneasy at one another. “Hurry up and come inside. Every minute I spend talking to you is a minute I could spend practicing the violin, and when you’re a musical genius like me, every minute counts.”

The three children walked into the tiny office and immediately noticed Coach Genghis standing in the far corner, leaning his back against the wall, smirking at the three children. Nero glared at them waiting for them to clap their hands for him. All three siblings slowly and softly began clapping their tired hands together as Nero took a few bows. “There are two things I wanted to talk to you about,” He said once the children stopped applauding. “Do you know what they are?”

“No, sir,” Violet said annoyed.

“ No, sir,” Nero mimicked, “Well, for starters, Coach Genghis, here, tells me that even after running laps for nine hours every night, you remain out of shape and winded. Your teachers say you’ve flunked quizzes in personal anecdotes and measuring random objects. And finally, don’t even get me started on Sunny’s employee evaluation. I couldn’t more disgusted if I’d written it myself!” He barked throwing the employee evaluation at the children.

“You did write it yourself,” Klaus pointed out.

“ You did write it yourself,” Nero mimicked. “Don’t get smart with me, boy!”

Klaus shrunk back a bit behind Violet but kept a firm grip on Sunny’s hand.

“Not to mention, you three have missed thirteen of my violin recitals, and each of you owes me a bag of candy for each one. Thirteen bags of candy times three equals forty-nine,”

“Thirty-nine,” Violet corrected.

“ Thirty-nine,” Nero mimicked annoyed. “Are you getting smart with me, too, orphan girl?”

Unlike Klaus, Violet stood tall, keeping her head up. Glaring at both the despicable men in the room.

“Also, Carmelita Spats informed me that she has delivered you fourteen messages and you’ve never given her a single tip,” Nero said. “That’s a disgrace and rather cheap of you three. Now, I think a nice tip for such an adorable little girl should be a pair of earrings with precious stones, so you ower her fourteen pairs of earrings. What do you have to say about that?”

“I think a Vice-Principal should not be referring to any of his students as ‘adorable’,” Violet said angrily.

“You’re just jealous,” Nero remarked angrily. “That no one finds you to be adorable,”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Genghis remarked under his breath. Nero did not hear him but the children definitely did. Violet’s skin crawled and her blood boiled. Klaus glared daggers at Genghis as he made his way in front of Violet rather than behind her. He still kept his grip on Sunny’s hand but he felt like it was his job to protect Violet as much as she would protect him.

“Now do you have anything to say about the topics at hand?” Nero asked.

The orphans looked at one another with their sleepy, sleepy eyes. They had nothing to say about that. They had plenty to think about that, that they’d only missed Nero’s atrocious concerts because Coach Genghis had forced them to. They wondered how someone who didn’t know that thirteen times three was thirty-nine was able to be a Vice Principal. And that tips are always optional and usually consist of money instead of earrings. But the children were too tired to argue all of these points to this tyrannical piece of shit. This disappointed Nero as he stood waiting for one of the children to say something so he can rudely mock them.

“You three,” he began when he realized that the children weren’t going to respond to his question. “Have become the three worst students Prufrock Preparatory School has ever seen. Mr. Poe told me that you two were very intelligent and hard-working children, but you’re just a bunch of cake-sniffing orphans!”

This was Violet’s breaking point. “We’re the three worst students because we’re fucking exhausted!” she barked.

“And we’re fucking exhausted because that piece of shit forces us to run laps every night!” Klaus barked, pointing at Genghis.

“Galuka!” Sunny shrieked, which meant, “So yell at that piece of shit! Not us!”

Nero gave the children a big smile, delighted that he was able to answer them in his favorite way. “ We’re the three worst students because we’re fucking exhausted!” He mimicked. “ And we’re fucking exhausted because that piece of shit forces us to run laps every night! Galuka! I have had enough of your nonsense! Prufrock Preparatory Schoool has promised you an excellent education, and excellent education, you will get...or, in Sunny’s case, an excellent job as an administrative assistant! But…” Nero said slowly calming down. “Luckily, for you, your new gym teacher has a solution. Jim,”

Genghis smirked at the children as he walked slowly towards them. A dark grin plastered on his face as he looked at each tired child in front of him. “Let me tell you...a story,”

Klaus groaned in agony as Genghis continued. “Homeschooling,”

“What?” Klaus asked, his eyes widening and his heart shattering.

“Homeschooling,” Nero explained, “It means staying at home, sitting at your kitchen table, instead of clogging up a classroom,”

Sunny gripped Klaus’ hand tighter as she felt him begin to shake. “V-vice Principal N-Nero,” Klaus stuttered. “Mr. Poe specifically placed us at Prufrock. He wants us to stay here at least a trimester.”

“Keep your grades up, or I’ll toss you three out on your rears!”

“Your wealthy rears,” Genghis commented.

“Now, tomorrow morning I’ve instructed Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass to give you both more-or-less comprehensive exams in front of the whole school. Violet, you’d better remember every detail of Mr. Remora’s stories. Klaus, you’d better remember the length, width, and depths of all of Mrs. Bass’ objects, or I will expel you from school. And for Sunny, a professional reappraisal featuring a special sequence of demeaning menial tasks. If you don’t complete them to my satisfaction, I will fire you.”

“What happens…” Klaus asked worriedly. “If we’re expelled and fired?”

“If you fail,” Genghis said, smile plastered on his face, “it’s off to Coach Genghis’ Ultra-Dynamic Life-Ending Workshop,” he said chuckling.

“We’ll pass those exams and reappraisal,” Violet replied.

“O-of course, we will,” Klaus agreed nervously.

“If you’ll excuse us, we’re going to study in our shack,” Violet said picking up Sunny slowly.

“You don’t have much time,” Genghis commented. “You’re due at the athletic field for Special Orphan Running Exercise in a matter of hours,”

“We still have to run laps?!” Klaus yelled.

“Of course,” Genghis replied.

“And it doesn’t mean you’ll be excused from tonight’s violin recital. Ooooh, you’re going to owe me three more bags of candy!”

“We can’t study for comprehensive exams and run laps all night!” Violet pleaded.

“We’d have to be two places at once!” Klaus reasoned.

“Consider this a learning experience, orphans,” Genghis said. “It’s important you figure out the balance between academics and extracurricular activities,”

Nero nodded his head in agreement. “Well said, Genghis,”

Violet sighed in frustration.

“Listen to us!” Klaus begged. “This man is…”

“This is not Count Olaf.” The advanced computer interrupted as Genghis stuck his face into its camera.

“Oh, goodness, how careless of me,” Genghis replied glaring coldly at Klaus. “Now...what is it you were saying?”

Klaus whimpered as he and his sisters turned to leave Nero’s office. Once outside, the three children quickly explained what was happening to their friends.

“This is awful!” Duncan cried as the five children trudged across the lawn so they could talk things over in peace. “There’s no way you can get an A on those exams, particularly if you have to run laps tonight!”

“This is dreadful!” Isadora cried. “There’s no way you can make all those staples, either! You’ll be homeschooled before you know it!”

Klaus, who was the quietest of the three when they were updating the Quagmires about their meeting with Nero, shook his head. “Oh...he’s not...he’s not going to homeschool us…” he whispered. “He’s going to do things much, much worse. So much worse,”

“Klaus…” Duncan said putting a comforting hand on Klaus. “It’s going to be okay,”

“No...no it’s not. It’s never going to be okay!” Klaus yelled. “He’s...he’s won. Do you know why!?”

“Why?” Isadora asked.

“Because there’s no one here who can help us,” Klaus whispered. Violet looked at him with a look that was a mix of hurt and anger.

“Wait a minute,” Violet began.

“No!” Klaus yelled looking up at her, with his tear-soaked eyes. “I’m sorry but you can’t do this...you can’t...you can’t help us and the one person who did help us...he’s dead. He’s fucking dead because of us…”

“Klaus…” Violet began. “It’s not your fault that he’s…”

“Yes, it is!” Klaus yelled. “You’re a kid, Violet! You can’t stop Olaf...I can’t stop Olaf...no one can stop him! Your father was an amazing man for trying...and I do apologize that I got you into this mess…”

“Stop talking like that,” Isadora chimed in taking Sunny from Violet. Violet hugged Klaus tightly.

“Stop…” Violet whispered to him. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Remember my promise?”

Klaus slowly nodded his head. “I’m giving you the chance to take it back. Take back your promise,”

“Why would I ever do that?”

“It’s too dangerous. He’s got us. Sunny and I are as good as dead...but you. You can run...hide…” Klaus pleaded.

“I’m not..”

“Violet...this should have never happened to you. Your father didn’t deserve to die...I’m sorry for ever involving you or him…”

“Stop talking like this,” Violet cried sternly. “I am in this for the long run. No matter what,”

“I can’t let you,”

“That’s funny...I never asked for permission,” Violet commented. “Klaus...I am doing this because I am your sister...I am doing this because this is what my father would be doing had he not met a fiery death...I’m not going to let his death be for nothing. He died trying to save you guys. I’m going to do the same...because that’s what family is for,”

“You’re in way over your head,”

“Like father, like daughter,” she replied shrugging her shoulders.

He smiles at that but shakes his head. “No,” Klaus cried grabbing Violet by her shoulders. “You...you don’t know what he’s capable of!”

“Well, I will once you tell me,”

“NO!” Klaus yelled. “You’re going to have to just...trust me on this, Vi. You and the Quagmires are to run to safety...Sunny and I can handle our own,”

“Snickets take care of their own,” She informed him. “You and Sunny...are my siblings. Which means…” she spoke slowly, trying to get this through Klaus’ thick skull. “ You are my own. I’m not letting that piece of shit hurt you guys anymore. He wants you, he’ll have to go through me.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of!” Klaus yelled shaking her shoulders. “ You don’t know what he’s capable of!”

Violet looked into her brother’s eyes and what she saw...not only destroyed her but enraged her all the same. She could see so much fear in his eyes, a level of fear that she couldn’t explain because he wouldn’t. She could see desperation...she can also see just how exhausted and fatigued he truly was and she knew it wasn’t only because of the thirteen egregious days of S.O.R.E that he had endured...it was because whatever Olaf had done to them back when she wasn’t involved, haunted him. It eats at him...it eats him alive. She swore that she would make the man who did this to her brother and sister pay. She gave Klaus a small smile as she pushed his hands from her shoulders. “That’s fine,” she said finally. “He doesn’t know what I’m capable of either,”

“Are Snickets all this stubborn?” Klaus asked annoyed.

“Actually,” Violet replied smirking. “My father said I get that from our Mother. So that means Baudelaires are stubborn,”

Klaus rolled his eyes.

“Look, I ran into a burning building in an attempt to save my father,” Violet told him.

“Wait, you did what?” Klaus asked. “Are you crazy?”

“Possibly. But that’s not my point,” Violet replied. “I’d honestly do the same for you guys...and I’ve only known you for two weeks. But it feels like I’ve known you two your whole lives,”

“Elsna,” Sunny shrieked, which meant, “Yep, you and I are definitely sisters!” Klaus translated for Sunny as Violet smiled.

He turned to the Quagmires. “I wouldn’t blame you if you guys were to leave and forget all about us,”

Duncan put his hand in Klaus. “I’m not leaving you,” he said staring into Klaus’ eyes. “The five of us will defeat him,”

“Together,” Isadora added, slipping her hand into Violet’s. “Now we need a plan,”

“Well…we now know his plan. He made us run laps all those nights because he knew we’d be exhausted. He knew we’d flunk our classes, or fail to perform our secretarial duties. He knew we’d be expelled from Prufrock and then he can get his filthy hands on us,”

Klaus groaned. “We were waiting for his plan to be clear, and now it is. But it might be too late,”

“It’s never too late,” Violet replied letting go of Isadora’s hand as she began to tie up her hair. “The comprehensive exams aren’t until tomorrow,”

“But we have more laps tonight,”

“What we need is a plan, a complicated plan that,” Duncan suggested. Violet stepped a few feet away from the four younger orphans, which allowed them to continue on their conversation while she focused solely on concentrating.

“We have to get Violet ready for Remora’s test,” Isadora mentioned. “And Klaus ready for Bass’ test,”

“And we have to make staples for Sunny,” Duncan reminded.

“And you guys still have to run laps,” Isadora commented.

“Brooklyn,” Sunny chimed in, which meant, “And we have to stay awake and go another night with no sleep,”

“I can’t think of anything,” Violet admitted frustratingly.

“Mama,” Sunny suggested as she pointed to the silver, heart-shaped locket that hung from Violet’s neck.

Violet smiled at her little sister as she opened the locket starting at the picture of the woman inside. She stared intensely at her mother. Come on...if there was ever a time where I absolutely needed a brilliant idea, it would be now. I have to protect them! Help me protect your kids! Violet thought.

The four younger orphans all watched as she silently stood there, locket opened and at eye level. Her hair tied up to keep from distracting her. Klaus took this time to polish his glasses and set them back on his nose. Sunny scraped her teeth together, to make sure they were sharp enough for any task ahead. And the two triplets took our their notebooks from their uniform’s pockets. Coach Genghis’ evil plan had become clear through the prism of the Snicket, Baudelaire, and Quagmire experiences, and now they had to use their experience to make a plan of their own.

Violet’s head shot up as she closed her locket setting it back to where it belonged. She turned around to face the four orphans, giving them a big smile.

“Violet?” Isadora asked with anticipation.

“I think I’ve got it!” She said smiling deviously.

“We’re listening,” Duncan replied.

The three siblings and their two triplet friends now sat in the Orphan Shack, which had never looked less unpleasant than it did now. All five children were wearing the noisy shoes that violet had invented, so the territorial crabs were nowhere to be seen. The salt had dried up the dripping tan fungus into a hard beige crust that was not particularly attractive but at least did not plop! Drops of fungus juice on the youngsters. The Orphan Shack had become quite a bit less mountainous and quite a bit more molehilly since their arrival. It still had a long way to go to be attractive and comfortable living quarters, but for thinking of a plan, it would do in a pinch.

And the children were certainly in a pinch. If Violet, Klaus, and Sunny spent one more exhausting night running laps, they would flunk their comprehensive exams and secretarial assignment and then Coach Genghis would whisk them away from Prufrock Prep, and as they thought about this, they could almost feel Genghis’ bony fingers pinching the life right out of them. The Quagmires were so worried for their partners and best friend that they felt pinched as well, even though they were not directly in danger...or so they thought, anyway.

“I can’t believe we didn’t figure out his plan earlier,” Isadora commented mournfully.

“We did all that research, and we still didn’t figure it out,” Duncan remarked remorsefully.

“Don’t feel bad,” Klaus replied. “Sunny and I have had many encounters with this fucker and it’s always difficult to figure out his scheme,”

“We were trying to find out the history of Count Olaf,” Duncan informed. Violet’s head shot up in interest. A history of him...might have pieces that could be of her parents’ history. She thought. “When we snuck into the library, we found that the library has a pretty good collection of old newspapers, and we thought if we could find out some of his previous schemes, we might figure out this one.”

“That’s a good idea,” Klaus muttered.

“I never would have thought of that,” Violet admitted.

“We figured that Olaf must have been an evil man even before he encountered you, Baudeliares,” Isadora explained. “So we looked up things in old newspapers. But it was difficult to find too many articles because as you know he always uses a fake name and disguise. But we found a person matching his description in the Bangkok Gazette, who was arrested for strangling a bishop but escaped prison in just ten minutes.”

“That sounds like him, all right,” Klaus muttered.

“And then in the Verona Daily News, there was a man who had thrown a rich widow from a cliff. He had a tattoo of an eye on his ankle, but he had eluded authorities,” Duncan explained.

“Violet?” Isadora asked gently shaking Violet. “You’re not napping, are you?”

Violet giggled. “No silly goose, I’m concentrating,” she said pointing at her tied up hair. “I think I figured out how to help Sunny with the staples. But I can’t figure out how I can invent something and study at the same time. And since S.O.R.E began, I haven’t taken good notes in class, so I won’t be able to remember his pointless stories.”

“Well you don’t have to worry about that, silly,” Isadora replied smiling at Violet. She held out her black journal for Violet. “I’ve written down every one of Mr. Remora’s boring ass stories. Every boring detail is recorded in this notebook,”

“And I’ve written down how long, wide, and deep all of Mrs. Bass’ pointless objects are,” Duncan informed handing Klaus his green notebook. “You can study from my notebook, Klaus. And Violet can study from Isadora’s.”

“Thank you,” Klaus said smiling at Duncan. “But you’re forgetting something. We are supposed to be running laps this evening. We don’t have time to read anybody’s notebook and he definitely isn’t going to let us read them while running.”

“Fuck,” Sunny replied. “Tarcour,” she whined, which meant “you’re right. S.O.R.E always last until dawn, and the tests are first thing in the morning,”

“If only we had one of the world’s great inventors to help us,” Violet said, “I wonder what Nikola Tesla would do.”

“Or one of the world’s greatest journalists,” Duncan said. “I wonder what Moxie Mallahan would do in our situation.”

“And I wonder what Hammurabi, the ancient Babylonian, would do to help us,” Klaus informed. “He was one of the world’s greatest researchers.”

“Or the great poet Lord Byron,” Isadora added.

“Piranha?” Sunny mused.

“Who knows what any of those people or fish would do in our shoes?” violet said. “It’s impossible to know.”

Isadora’s head shot up. She looked at Duncan, who seemed to be having the exact same idea, “In our shoes!” Isadora yelled happily.

“That’s it!” Duncan yelled agreeing with his sister.

“What’s it?” Klaus asked confused.

“How will my noisy shoes help?” Violet asked.

“No, no,” Duncan said. “I’m thinking about Coach Genghis’ expensive running shoes that he said he couldn’t take off because his feet were smelly,”

“I bet they are smelly,” Isadora commented. “I’ve noticed that he doesn’t bathe much,”

“But that’s not why he hears them,”  Klaus explained. “He wears them for a disguise,”

“ Exactly!” The two Quagmire triplets yelled in unison.

“I’m sorry…” Violet said.

“Lost,” Sunny said, which meant, “We don’t follow,”

“When you said, ‘in our shoes’, you gave us this idea,” Isadora explained.

“We know it’s an expression meaning ‘in our situation’ but what if someone else were actually in your shoes?” Duncan added.

“What if we disguised ourselves as you,” Isadora suggested. “Then we could run laps for you and you could stay here and study for your exams,”

“And make your staples for your job,” Duncan added.

“Disguise yourselves…” Klaus repeated in panic. “...as us? No way! Absolutely out of question!” he yelled.

“You two look exactly like each other, anyway,” Violet countered. “But you don’t look anything like us,”

“So what?” Duncan said. “It’ll be dark tonight. When we’ve watched you from the bleachers, all we could see were three shadowy figures running,”

“That’s true,” Isadora agreed. “If I took the ribbon from your hair, Violet and Duncan took glasses to look like Klaus, we’d look  enough like you that I bet Coach Shitfuck wouldn’t tell,”

“But your hair is shorter than mine, I have bangs,” Violet countered.

“We’ll figure it out,” Isadora insisted.

“Out of the question,” Klaus replied.

“We can even switch shoes, so our running sounds like your running,” Duncan added.

“But what about Sunny?” Violet countered.

“We’re not doing this!” Klaus shouted.

“Shush, hun,” Duncan replied patting Klaus’ hand. “What about Sunny?”

“There’s no way two people can disguise themselves as three,” Violet countered.

The Quagmires’ faces fell, “If only Quigley were here,” Isadora mused.

“I just know he’d be willing to dress up as a toddler if it meant helping you guys,” Duncan said.

Violet closed her eyes, her hands untying her ribbon and tying it up again. “What if I built a pretend Sunny,”

“Robot?” Sunny mused.

‘Not necessarily a robot but...like a dummy,”

“That could work,” Isadora agreed. “Sunny’s super tiny even though I know she’s a toddler, she’s small for her age and still looks like a big baby...no offense, Sunny. You know I love you,”

“Denada,” Sunny said, shrugging but smiling at the triplet girl.

“We can find a lot of material that’s as big as Sunny,” Duncan announced as Violet nodded.

“No!” Klaus yelled. “Being in each other’s shoes seems like an extremely risky plan! If it fails, not only are we in trouble but you are as well, and who knows what Coach Genghis would do to you?”

I hate to inform you, but, this, as it turns out, was a question that would haunt the orphans for quite some time, but the Quagmires gave it barely a thought. “Don’t worry about that,” Duncan said. “The important thing is to keep you out of his clutches. It may be a risky plan, but being in each other’s shoes is the only thing we’ve been able to think of,”

“And besides, it’s what friends are for,” Isadora explained as Duncan nodded. “You would do the same for us, and you know it,”

Violet looked at her siblings who both slowly nodded their heads. All three siblings knew that the Quagmires were entirely correct.

“Now we don’t wanna waste any time trying to think of something else,” Isadora stated. “Let’s get moving,”

“We need to find material to build a pretend Sunny,” Violet explained.

“Kitchen?” Sunny suggested.

The four older orphans looked at one another and then at Sunny, all nodding their heads at her suggestion.

______________________________________________________

A little before dinner, the children snuck into the deserted kitchen. Violet pushed open the doors. “Coast is clear,” she whispered as Duncan walked in with Klaus’ hand in his. Isadora held tightly to Sunny. Violet waited until all four younger orphans were inside before closing the door slowly. “Duncan…” she whispered. “Can you be look out?”

Duncan gave her a thumbs up. “Okay...find some material to make fake glasses,” Violet whispered as the four others split up.

Almost immediately, Sunny grabbed a pair of egg tongs. “Focals?” she asked her older sister.

“Sunny, you are fucking brilliant,” Violet whispered in reply, rubbing Sunny’s head. “You think you can help me out with that…”

Sunny studied the tongs carefully and replied with a thumbs up.

Klaus grabbed a pair of dishwashing gloves. “These might come in handy,” he whispered.

Violet smiled. “Good job, y’all. You guys are thinking like inventors. Remember there is always something,”

Violet glanced at Sunny. “We need something for the body,” she whispered to Isadora. Isadora looked around the kitchen, her eyes fixating on a big bag of flour.

“Would flour work?” she asked Violet.

Violet glanced from Sunny to the bag of flour. “Hell yeah, it will. Okay. Isadora grab the flour. I’ll carry Sunny and…”

“Fuck,” Duncan whispered. “Someone’s coming,”

Sunny quickly hid behind the bags of flour. Violet and Isadora ran for the pantry, making sure to keep the door slightly ajar, so they can see what was happening. Klaus and Duncan quickly ran behind carts containing clean cookware. All five orphans didn’t dare make a peep as the person entered the kitchen. They couldn’t see who it was because they made sure to keep all the kitchen lights off but all five orphans were pretty sure they knew exactly who it was because they could hear the tapping of her tap shoes.

They listened and watched as the silhouette of Carmelita grabbed a bucket from where Sunny was hiding. Sunny held her breath as Carmelita didn’t notice her and carried the bucket to the dessert case. All five orphans looked at one another as best as they could, utterly confused. They watched as the bully stepped on top of the bucket, take a deep breath, and then plunge her face into a cake covered in powdered sugar. They could hear a few quick sniffing sounds as Carmelita removed her nose from the cake. All five orphans had to suppress and muffle their laughter as they watched the bully, whose nose and mouth was now covered in powder sugar, put the bucket back where she had found it and gave a few quiet sneezes as she exited the kitchen.

Once they were sure the coast was clear, all five children burst out laughing. Isadora laughed so hard that she and Violet fell on to each other. Klaus and Duncan were laughing so hard that they couldn’t breathe and even Sunny, who slowly walked out of her hiding place to meet with her siblings and best friends was laughing so hard that she was wiping tears from her eyes.

“That…” Violet said still laughing.

“Was…” Duncan said chuckling.

“Perfect,” Sunny said practically squealing.

Klaus grabbed the smaller materials as Duncan grabbed Sunny. Isadora grabbed the bag of flour as Violet grabbed a few more random objects that she believed could come in handy and all five children exited the kitchen, heading towards the Orphan Shack laughing their asses off.

The five orphans walked back to the Orphan Shack, they walked nervously from the cafeteria to shack. And although they were laughing at Carmelita’s expense, they were all very nervous. They were nervous because they were not supposed to have snuck into the kitchen to steal materials for an invention. They were nervous because their plan was indeed a risky one. It is not a pleasant feeling, as you and I know, to be nervous, and I would not wish for small children to be any more nervous than Violet Snicket and the Baudelaires and the Quagmires. But I must say that they weren’t nervous enough. They didn’t need to be more nervous about sneaking into the cafeteria, even though it was against the rules. But they should have been far more nervous about their plan, and about what would happen that evening when the sun set on the brown lawn and the sunrise to shine brighter than the luminous circle. They should have been nervous, now, in their regular shoes, about what would happen when they were in each others.

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