#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[eldunea]

What shape does your pain take?

Glass Cage

You feel disconnected from the world around you. You can see everything, everyone can see you, but you're not really there. No one can really communicate with you, can they? You're isolated, even when you're around people you're alone.

You want desperately to be close to someone, but you're afraid of what will happen if you shatter your glass prison. You don't want to let someone in, you don't want to leave, and it's a constant battle of your own will.

It's easier to be alone, where no one can hurt you... Isn't it?

People are going to hurt you. It's a fact of life. But they're also going to give you the happiest days you'll ever have. The trick is to be confident and love yourself, to know that you're enough and that not everyone is going to appreciate that. Some puzzle pieces don't fit together, even though they may look it at first, but just that they don't go there doesn't mean that they're broken, worth less than the other pieces, or don't belong. Sometimes they might go to a whole other puzzle, but there is a puzzle where they belong and are being searched for.

Build up your self-esteem, know your worth, and prepare to take risks. Life if full of them. But if you know who you are and that you're a worthy, important person, when things go wrong it's easier to bounce back. You're the only person that you're stuck with for the rest of your life, so you should love and value yourself more than anyone else.

Take the time to get to know yourself and love yourself, and then go with the intent to get to know and love others. Not to validate yourself or prove that you're worth something. If your only intent is to get to know and love others, they'll get to know and love you in return, and even if things don't work out, you haven't failed.  

tagged by: @sorrowmarked​  tagging: everybody in the vld fandom who’s still active

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

in honor of my return to neopets after a many-year hiatus blease consider

neopets AU

lotor is the half-light and half-dark faerie offspring of the dark faerie honerva sincline and the light faerie zarkon daibazan. not many people were tolerant of the union between light and dark--light faeries and other neopians thought that honerva had tempted zarkon into something that would turn out unhealthy, whereas dark faeries believed that honerva had betrayed her own kind. 

zarkon is a high-ranking general serving under queen fyora, and honerva is a famous scientist whose discoveries have gone more unnoticed because of her dark faerie heritage. though fyora normally has a policy of tolerance toward dark faeries, the public outcry against him nearly forced him to step down. honerva convinced him to stay in his position, which he now does out of spite.

zarkon and honerva live in faerieland, though they were nearly forced to leave due to the backlash against their marriage. zarkon considered leaving to shelter lotor and raise him in a place where he wouldn’t be discriminated against, but honerva convinced him to stay because she wanted to teach lotor how to be strong in the face of adversity, and that faerieland was as much his homeland as anyone else’s. 

as in canon, honerva and zarkon wished to raise lotor as the best of both their worlds, and he did. he combines the strong moral code of a light faerie with the pragmatic self-interest of a dark faerie, and has the intellectual curiosity of both his sides. unlike in mainverse where he is raised resenting one of his cultures and upholding the other, he loves both his sides equally and is 100% at peace with being mixed. 

lotor can shapeshift to take on the form of either a light faerie or a dark faerie. he spends most of his time in light faerie form, because that’s the form that people trust the most. he retains his canon appearance, save for purple wings in the same pattern as light faeries.

he has some abilities of both sides of his heritage: he often uses them to bless the good and curse the wicked. he curses more often than he blesses due to the fact that he has a pessimistic view of peoples’ natures: like most dark faeries, he thinks that people are inherently selfish.

he has been discriminated against ferociously since he’s the only light/dark faerie in existence. people from faeries to neopets have told him that he shouldn’t exist. this has made him an opponent of discrimination everywhere, and he saves his worst curses for those who discriminate.

he has a halfway home for abused, neglected and abandoned neopets. he runs it with acxa, ezor, zethrid and narti, all of whom are hybrid faeries like himself: acxa is earth and water, ezor is fire and air, zethrid is earth and dark, and narti is water and dark.

he has been bottled before (bottled faeries in-game are a thing) and he hated it. when he was unbottled, instead of giving the neopet a gift, he simply flew off in a huff. 

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

lotor every time he rescues alteans

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

your mcdonald’s order reveals a deep truth about you.

You're more introverted than other people realize

The thing is, you're pretty good at conversation, and you love to laugh with your friends — hell, you can get rowdy sometimes. But oof, all of that drains you of your energy, and you need a good amount of time alone to recharge. While others might think you're extroverted, you actually spend a lot of time in your own head, and you wouldn't operate nearly as well if you didn't get some time to yourself.

tagged by: @inheritedxvanity  tagging: @imbicilite @shellheadtm @fxrprxsperity @atlasfollowed @pafallende @unfaithfallen @techthiev @galteani @valorousfool 

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

lotor has done this

#word of god™. || tian speaks #alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

your daily reminder that my lotor is anti-capitalist, supports antifa and doesn’t recognize the united states government as legitimate

#politics* #alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

lotor eats cat food as a guilty pleasure.

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

consider: lotor sending dna to paternity/ancestry tests every single day because that’s how many people claim to be related to him. lotor having to pay millions in emotional reparations from the state treasury to his disgruntled and abandoned descendants. lotor being happy with whoever i ship him with and their children only for his grandchildren and great-grandchildren to show up out of the blue demanding that his newest batch of kids relinquish their claim to his inheritance of the altean throne.

he’s a mess.

#word of god™. || tian speaks #alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON #|| as an altean he can reproduce with any species #|| and thanks to that he's had hundreds of kids that he doesn't even know

[ofalsehoods]

can you fight god?

      ❝naturally.❞

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

if looks could kill lotor would think he’d kill everyone around him but in reality he’s so beautiful he could bring people back to life.

#word of god™. || tian speaks #alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

lotor doesn’t question what type of person he brings into the colony as long as they are alteans who needed saving. he doesn’t do background checks, he doesn’t gatekeep based on peoples’ beliefs because when on a rescue mission he doesn’t have time to make sure that only “““““““the good ones””””””” get in. even though lotor has thrown people out of the colony for rape and for selling their fellow alteans out, he’s really relaxed for other stuff--he’s let in thieves, murderers and drug traffickers and he doesn’t give a shit. in this way the colony is a second chance for a lot of people: as long as you don’t cause trouble while you’re there you’re golden. and he’s this relaxed about immigration in general like. if he heard trump’s “they’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists” his first response would probably be “so what if they’re bringing drugs and crime? i’ve done drugs. i’ve committed crimes.”

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON #politics*

[ofalsehoods]

Lotor: It's wrong for the Galra to discriminate against other species for being "weaker." Every species has its strengths and weaknesses and these differences are to be celebrated!

Also Lotor: LMAO but humans are /totally/ weaker than Alteans, am I right??

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON #word of god™. || tian speaks

[ofalsehoods]

I. THE FAIRY.  chipped nail polish. glitter highlight. tall trees with smooth bark. tangled hair. the taste of cinnamon sugar. talking too loud and too fast. overgrown flowers in your hair. crumbling buildings reclaimed by nature. flirting. walking home at 3am with no coat. platonic hand-holding. blowing smoke out of your nose. dragonfly wings. chaotic good. freckles.  fairy rings. secret meetings. gender nonconformity.  leather. smudged eyeliner.  forbidden fruit.

II. THE REAPER. computer errors. a shiver down your spine.  haunting beauty. hard liquor. crowns of thorns. shadowed alleyways.  decaying plant matter. shattered mirrors and broken glass.  corrupted memories. stopped clocks. the scent of stale cigarettes.  tattered black hoodies. walking your friends home.  the crescent moon.  the sea. a graveyard on a foggy day. cold rings on cold fingers. absolution.  looking out the window of an airplane.  soft kisses.

III. THE WITCH. graffiti.  pretending to know what you’re doing.  worn paperback books.growing up too fast. parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.  lace and combat boots. moth wings. candles on every surface.  a weathered deck of cards. turning the music up. fireflies in jars. calloused fingers. drawing on your skin.  sunlight filtering through clouds. petrichor.  a dying rose in a jar.  wearing a crystal pendant. illusions and spells.black cats.  mint gum.  chapped lips. dirt under your fingernails.the cycle of life and death.

IV. THE WOLF. murders of crows.  frost-bitten leaves. wolves howling at midnight.knocking on your door. leaving food out for stray animals. the twang of an acoustic guitar. honey. tiny red buds on trees.  claw marks on the walls.  golden eyes. slightly too long stubble.sharp canines.  soft, thick fur. hunger. a small cottage in the middle of the woods.  knitted fingerless gloves.  sleeping on the forest floor. always finding your way back home.

tagged by: @recxrdend and i think one other person tagging: @techthiev @starbound-surviivxr @shellheadtm @imbicilite @captivemuses (allura) @goofbcll @fatal-fleur @dragetunge @lightninghe @onesfirst@athrius @pafallende @pathstread 

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

lotor has so much similarity with loki from both mythology and the mcu i figured i’d list them out here

myth!loki:

trickster

has kids of multiple species

is capable of mothering a kid (see: shapeshifting)

devoted to protecting those who are outcasts

not afraid to stick it to the man

would definitely destroy the world in order to create a better one

morally grey

marvel!loki:

liar

trickster

angsty past

“i did it for you, father!” “no, loki”

has been imprisoned in what is essentially a glass box

manipulated the protagonists

has killed thousands of people in times of war

morally grey

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON

[ofalsehoods]

lotor would never hit any of his children, even if they were convicted of a serious crime. due to his trauma of constantly being yelled at and beaten, he would never even raise his voice at his kids. honestly if he sees you yelling at and beating your kids he will go and beat you up, probably send you to the hospital to make sure you never do it again.

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON #violence* #abuse*

[ofalsehoods]

your seduction style.

the charmer.

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people fall under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

tagged by: @healiingall​ tagging: @techthiev​ @starbound-surviivxr​ @eigenaces​ @alteanonearth​ @kurainburdened​ @voltronprincess​ 

#alma te anul; the history of self. || HEADCANON #|| sounds about right