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#all the rumors and snide remarks are worth him trying to explain himself constantly - to justify his existence
femmedefandom · 25 days
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so I actually really enjoy the OG SQQ, he is such an angsty and dramatic bitch absolutely stuffed with trauma and terrible coping behind that ice cold veneer and it’s a shame we didn’t get more of him. there’s just so much to explore with him and he gets cut out and missed by his sect exactly 0% which is pretty heartbreaking.
#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#og!sqq#a guy that had the outline of a protagonist but the realism of life#orphan child taken living on the streets that has seen too much darkness to be naive but he cares for the other children in his own way#tries to survive the streets and being sold to an abusive family#his friend is saved and brought to a better life leaving him behind#he’s stuck playing the gentle toy for an oblivious girl as her brother torments him regularly#he’s abandoned by his friend and he decides to take fate into his own hands#learning cultivation from a rogue and breaking free of his chains the only way he’s learned how#with brutal and efficient violence…all by himself#he murders his abusers and the rogue who pushed him further into darkness and crime#he makes his way to a righteous cultivation sect to see his brother who he thought was lost to him in death…#…doing apparently just fine as the future sect leader of the top sect with nothing but a bright shiny future and no worries#his past and betrayals have turned him bitter and cutting and closed off but more driven than anyone else#he suffers from qi deviation and likely issues being around other men and substandard education to become head disciple and later peak lord#but no matter how high he goes all he sees is that little beaten and abandoned boy who was good enough for no one with no future#all those fancy worries and honors mean nothing to someone who did anything to survive#all the vague apologies in the world do nothing to ease the suffering he’s experienced#all the rumors and snide remarks are worth him trying to explain himself constantly - to justify his existence#and all the self loathing that has built up could have done nothing but explode upon meeting the blessed protagonist#don’t mind me#just in my feels about sqq again#mxtx why did you make this man only to throw him away??
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griffinsandpeacocks · 4 years
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Loony Two Writing Challenge Week 4 Prompt 1: Birds and Erm... Birds?
Griffin paced around nervously as he had told his parents he couldn’t marry a princess that was interested in him. When they ask he explains he’d tried through tears to be the prince they needed he just couldn’t. His mother had calmed him down asked him to explain and he admit softly that the princess had made heavy advances but he hadn’t responded at all nothing had happened and he’d been terrified he’d be killed, banished, disowned or anything else because he just had no interest in her. 
“There is a King I was wanting to make an alliance with... You can help me with that.” His father calms him and he nods a bit numb as all he’s heard since were crude rumors about him and nasty comments from other nobility that have heard. His life was miserable. Guards made snide remarks! He didn’t have a single friend within the Kingdom at this point. The only good thing he had going for him  was the fact he wasn’t dead and his parents didn’t seem disgusted with his existence. Though the near death experience a couple days later makes him wonder if exile would have been safer. 
He’d left his room to meet with his father when a man had run at him with a knife he’d fallen on his ass but managed to wrestle the knife away and hold it to the culprit's neck until the guards finally decided to come and help after he’d called for them several times. He’d gone straight to his father and had been unsettled since. They’d discussed going to the other’s city and Griffin relaxed realizing that would allow him to get away from all the harsh words and crude comments aimed at him. Hopefully once he comes back the gossip would have been stirred up by something new. 
The travel is grueling several hours he is only happy he’s good at protecting himself as when bandits attack it’s everyone for themselves. Griffin can’t rely on other’s to have his back like his father can. He get’s a sword in his side before his father takes charge furious the guards had left Griffin open to attack without support. Griffin just pants as a cold sweat starts up and he is grateful his father drags him onto horse back hearing they’d make as quick a run for the city as possible. He faints. When he comes to a nurse is dabbing cool water over his brow. He swallows and blinks trying to see clearly. 
“Oh you’re awake! I shall fetch your father, King Marius, and King Oberon. They’ll be glad to hear you’re alright.” She says and Griffin tries to say something but she’s already gone and Griffin just looks around feeling drained. He sees he’s in a very nice room and sighs closing his eyes to take a deep breath.His side throbs and he groans in pain as the door opens he opens his eyes the attack making him paranoid. There’s an albino man next to his father wearing a silver crown sporting diamonds and star patterns. This must be the king they’d come to negotiate with. He tries to push himself up but the pale King stops him a hand on his shoulder keeping him down.
“Don’t stand on my account. You’re wounded enough as is.” He says and Griffin blushed as he stopped trying and laid still. He’s certain nothing can get worse. Making a terrible impression, getting stabbed because the guards despised him, having his life threatened at every turn and now he can’t even properly stand and thank the king whose staff had saved him. How could this get worse?
“Griffin, King Oberon agreed with the treaty on a single condition.” His father says and Griffin looks at his father uncertain. Typically a marriage was requested to lock in an alliance but Griffin had looked through all the information he could on the Runes Kingdom and it’s ruling King and had found nothing about the Mage King having any daughters. Not that he’d be useful in that regard as soon as it was discovered he couldn’t preform the woman he was married to would probably demand her father kill him for lying. 
“And... What might that... Be?” Griffin asks feeling incredibly insecure as he can’t hide how uncertain and uneasy he is. Oberon snickers watching him and his father sighs and looks uncomfortable. 
“Once you’re fully recovered he asks you duel him.” Griffin felt his brain break. He was wanting to ask a multitude of questions but he couldn’t quite get his head around the fact a mage wanted to fight him. 
“You... Want to duel me? Not my father?” Griffin asks confused and Oberon laughs and Griffin blushed both because he suddenly felt stupid and because it was a nice sound to hear. Also slightly mortified as he had a sudden urge to make the man laugh more often. 
“You’re father’s married, there would be little point.” King Oberon says and Griffin blinks and looks at his father the gears creaking as they begin to turn. 
“I would like an explanation.”  Griffin asks his father who blushed rubbing the back of his neck looking at Oberon then Griffin. He doesn’t like the way his kingdom had responded to the gossip about Griffin especially the number of near assassinations on Griffin. 
“You’ll be safer here... I know you’ve practiced heavily to be able to fight along side me in the case of a war... I just... I want you safe and in this case you’d be in the place of a princess and become the standing Queen of the Runes Kingdom.” King Marius explains and Griffin swallows thickly looking at the wall. So his father had seen how the staff had responded. His father cared enough to drag him to another kingdom to get rid of him which he supposed was a blessing. He looks at the Mage King and wonders if he could stand a chance.
“So the duel’s to make sure I can at least protect myself and be somewhat useful.” He guesses and his father frowns going to say something but Oberon nods.
“You’ve made it this far so I’m sure you are somewhat capable but I would appreciate having a partner that can actively defend themselves should the need arise.” He explains and Griffin nods. There’s little in the way of options. He either impresses the other enough he agrees to take him off his father’s hands or he fails and ends up as useless baggage on his father’s name. 
“Then I suppose I look forward to the chance to duel you. Can you do me a favor if I fail just kill me.” Griffin says and thunks his head back looking up at the ceiling. His father sighs and it sounds like he tries to say something but whatever it is he must not know how he wants to word it and instead he squeezes Griffin’s shoulder and walks out. Griffin closes his eyes tears glittering in his lashes as he clenches his hands fighting not to cry.
“Why would you want to die if you don’t prove to be up to my standard?” Oberon asks and Griffin flinched hissing as his side aches at the sudden reflexive jerk. He looks at the mage who is sitting in a chair by the bed watching him with sharp red eyes that seem to be cutting into him and dissecting him.
“I’m the only Prince my family has. Instead of getting a competent future King they have a son that can’t respond in any way other than flustered blubbering to  escape the advances of a woman. I can tell you anything you want to know about my Kingdom’s history, even the bits that I’m certain were very different but victor writes history and all that. I can give decent battle strategy but I prefer the reserved approach. My father’s council has never liked me and they have constantly told me I’ll make a poor king. So if I can’t be useful this once then I don’t want to go back. I’ll get assassinated anyway, so at least this way I’ll go down fighting rather than a lucky stab or poison or something equally sad.” Griffin says ranting and needing to get this all out of his head and confide in someone. Oberon listens and sighs shaking his head.
“A king has no need for men that throw caution to the wind. A king is  not made great because councilors nor their opinions. You sound dedicated to learning which has never been an ill mark for a king.” Oberon says and Griffin sighs and looks to the wall feeling awkward.
“Yet I’ll never be a King. I’m marrying one if I can prove I’m worth it.” He says and Oberon snorts and leans closer grabbing Griffin’s chin and forcing him to meet his eyes.
“I want an equal not a concubine.” Oberon states firmly and Griffin goes bright red startled by how forward the mage King is. 
“Subtlety isn’t something you exercise is it?” Griffin squeaks and Oberon chuckles.
“I’m afraid not, so you’ll be a nice breath of fresh air to my court if you can hold me off in a fight.” Oberon says grinning. Griffin sighs again and looks up at the crown. 
“I was always curious why your Kingdom has such strong symbolism around stars.” Griffin says and Oberon leans back in his chair shrugging.
“For us the stars are what we attribute to the source of our abilities. We mages hold the heavens sacred and what is more beautiful than a night sky lit with diamond like stars?” He says and Griffin looks at Oberon.
“Then you’re Kingdom must think you as beautiful.” Griffin says as the King was gorgeous and pure pale splendor much like the stars. Oberon blinks at him blushing now as well he coughs and stands walking away. Griffin grins slightly at the very shy response to the compliment. He sighs as the door closes. He grins faintly thinking that maybe just maybe his life wasn’t getting worse. 
Once he’s on his feet and can manage moving without wincing he’s given a tour of the castle and Oberon watches him like a hawk as his father explains several customs Griffin will need to see to before and during the start of the duel.
“The wakestone might actually awaken a power in you. You’ll need to touch it before the duel as an acknowledgment to magic’s guidance.” His father explains and Oberon nods and Griffin frowns in confusion.
“Wouldn’t we have to have magic in our linage in order for a wake stone to have that affect?” Griffin asks and his father glances over.
“We’ve had several mages marry into our family none within the last couple of generations though.” He explains and Griffin nods deciding this might be where all his strange quirks come from. He is grateful he gets one last day he’s gotten mixed reviews. Those from the mage kingdom all gave him high praise for being bold enough to duel Oberon while those from his home made snide remarks on his uselessness and how his father was at least getting rid of him in style though he didn’t deserve to draw his sword for it. Griffin just dealt with it surprised how often the mages would compliment him and wish him well. There were several offers for his hand if he was not taken on by the King. He wasn’t sure how to handle any of it. 
“Prince Griffin place your hand on the wakestone with King Oberon.” A woman wearing robes says and Griffin had learned she was the Priestess that took care of the magical artifacts of the Kingdom. Griffin does and frowns as he feels an odd tingle run up his arm and he gasps as he feels like he gets a kick to the chest jerking back and swaying a moment feeling dizzy and like he might be sick. Oberon grabs his shoulder and holds him up.
“Just breathe, close your eyes and breathe.” Oberon instructs and Griffin takes a few deep breaths swallowing as the dizzy sick phase passes and he takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and Oberon takes a sharp breath in when their eyes meet. Griffin feels confused until his father also blinks in shock and looks at Oberon.
“That was supposed to happen?” He asks and Oberon coughs and looks at him.
“Well apparently... It’s nothing bad it just means he is powerful really. To have golden eyes is regarded as a mark of someone destined for great things.” Oberon says and Griffin paused his eyes had been a yellow brown that looked like gold in the right light but they weren’t gold. The Priestess with wide eyes holds up a small mirror for him and he blinks in shock his eyes are bright shocking yellow gold. 
“I’ll call this duel off, I’d be honored if you’d agree to be my fellow King.” Oberon says looking at Griffin with awe. Griffin reluctantly nods not sure what’s going on he knows that his father making this alliance would be the only thing he could do for his home. He’d take it. 
“I’d be honored...” Griffin says confused still and feeling a bit unsteady he yelps as Oberon sweeps him off his feet grinning down with a mischievous look. 
“Then it’s settled, you’re mine.” Griffin goes bright red sputtering as he tries to catch up only to feel lips on his and blink in shock.
“Shall I get the circle ready?” The Priestess asks and Oberon nods and Marius smiles happy his son will be safe now though confused how he was so magically apt. Over the next several days Griffin is pampered by mages that go about making sure he’ll look the part of a king to stand by their current ruler. He is flustered when the day comes his mother had made the trip to see him marry and he’s bright pink as he is standing opposite Oberon and the Priestess sings a chant to make the circle glow and then they meet in the center and both recite lines in the magical language Oberon grew up with that Griffin knew so little of. The chimes like millions of little bells make Griffin blink in wonder as hundreds of star like lights float around them like glowing butterflies. 
“This means Magic herself approves.” Oberon says softly and Griffin grins reaching out to poke one that glitters merrily and more start flocking to his hand. Oberon chuckles softly and pulls the once prince into a kiss.
“I’ll teach you everything that I know... I swear to you I will make this day forward the best days of your life.” Oberon swears and Griffin blushes and looks up at the ruby eyes and smiles shyly. Maybe this wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened after all.
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