#all the content i have for him are movies ive written 2000 FUCKING TIMES NOW

[descendantofthesparrow]

me trying to write this one damn writing commission

#i have been stuck on thsi damn thing for MONTHS now #i got it in september #started it in october #and have BARLEY gotten into d3 #i think its just dragging me cuz-d3-not much to fucking do with it #ive written it over and over agian and its just so fucking boring to write #the premise the commissionor gave me is intresting and i love it #but goddammti D333333 #i fuckin hate d3 #and all my requests are fcuking blazing up cuz its new stuff and not just the fucking same thing ive written seven times now #like anything having to do with d2 or 3 without it being something that changes how the story goes #are so fucking boring to write #and i just cant write anything without staring dead-eyed at the screen #which is probably why ive lost 'intrest' in writing for Harry becuase #all the content i have for him are movies ive written 2000 FUCKING TIMES NOW #and the stuff thats intresting or not movie based dont get any fucking attention other than regained passion which i fucking LOVED writing #and rewrite i had the same movies but i was taking contorl and not following a script~ #sorry rant #bleh #harry i love oyu but i need more content

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 Worst Movies Of 2017!

As everyone is gearing up for their 2018 lists, I prefer to take that extra year to see as much crap as I could from the year before! Now, keep in mind, even with that extra year to watch as many movies as I possibly could, I still didn’t see everything. So, as awful as I’m sure Baywatch or The Bye Bye Man are, I just didn’t around to seeing them. If you want a comprehensive list of every single film I did see from 2017 in order from best to worst, you can go here: https://letterboxd.com/animatorreviewa/list/every-2017-movie-ive-seen/

#10. A Bad Moms Christmas Bad Moms (2016) was a surprise hit with both audiences & critics: with interesting characters, some really funny moments, & a clever moral; it wasn’t anything that would win an Oscar, but if it was on, I wouldn’t complain. A Bad Moms Christmas on the other hand: has annoying as hell characters, obvious humor, & the same damn moral from the first film! In a world with the MCU, which is constantly trying different & unique things, especially with their sequels in hopes to make them stand out, this kind of cheap, cash-grabby sequel with no heart or care put into it simply has no place. If this came out in the ‘80s or ‘90s, it’d be un-notable among Caddyshack 2 & A Christmas Story 2. But in today’s day & age, these kinds of sequels are a relic of a time once left & forgotten & for good reasons. It’s unfunny, uninteresting, & just straight up awful! If I wasn’t keeping track of these movies, I would’ve easily forgotten about it.

#9. Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Growing up in the early to mid-2000s, I grew up with the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid books. I remember being very excited when the movies came out, & to this day, the books & movies continue to be (at the very least) guilty pleasures. The Long Haul book kept with the spirit of the series, being about a relatively un-notable piece of someone’s childhood, mixed with the feeling of being of nostalgic reminiscing while keeping with the spirit & imagination of a preteen. Its lack of reliability & humor that made past books more enjoyable made The Long Haul my least favorite DOAWK book, but it was still notably timeless as it had little to no potty humor or modern technology that tends to ruin perfectly nice children’s media. The DOAWK movies tend to have the same feel, like it’s just as relatable for children at the time as it would be for kids 50 years from now. What made the films so enjoyable, as opposed to the books, is the spot-on chemistry & acting of the cast. Everyone seemed believable in their roles, Zachary Gordon felt like a genuine kid making genuine kid decisions how a genuine kid would act in a genuine kid filled world. The Long Haul movie is absolutely nothing like these. It relies heavily on bad potty humor, horrendous acting, scenes too out of this world to ever seem believable, & characters who act nothing like any human being. The Rodrick in book & first 3 movies was a dumb older brother who compensated by bullying around his younger brother while still being somewhat caring towards him by giving him honest advice (even if it’s bad). The Rodrick in this would have a hard time breathing & walking at the same time. There was way too much use of modern technology, making it unrelatable to older audiences & cringy to younger audiences, who’re smart enough to know that the old farts making this probably never met a child before. Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul was an unfunny, annoying, & unrelatable slog! #NotMyRodrick

#8. Bigger Fatter Liar Coming about a decade too late, Bigger Fatter Liar is mostly unfunny & annoying. It’s a repeat of the first movie except less funny, less interesting, & less Frankie Muniz. I cannot over-exaggerate how much I hate these kinds of sequels: the kind that takes a great comedy, strips any of the humorous moments, repeats the plot point-for-point, mostly repeats the jokes point-for-point, & adds nothing of interest or value. This is why Vacation made my Top 10 Worst 2 years ago, this is why Bigger Fatter Liar makes my list now. Just like Vacation, it takes a bunch of ingenious build-ups from their original film & fucks up the punch-line by being too over-the-top. Now, going over-the-top isn’t inherently bad (Ghostbusters & Spaceballs are 2 of my favorite comedies & their very over-the-top), but it can be easily overdone, & when it is, you get The Big Bang Theory. I guess what I find most perplexing is who is this made for? Anyone who grew up with Big Fat Liar are too old to be interested in an obvious cash-grab & younger children who might’ve been shown it by their parents aren’t going to be shown it because their parents are smart enough to not show it to them! I can only assume its target audience are people like me, who go out of their way to find the worst movies they possibly can, & this is a damn good contender.

#7. Snatched There really are few things in the world as hard to watch as a bad comedy as so far, it’s made up my entire list & Snatched isn’t going to be the last. Snatched is one of those comedies that has some serious tone issues. You’re supposed to laugh even after Amy Schumer & Goldie Hawn are kidnapped & probably almost raped! I’ve heard of dark comedy, but that’s a hard sell especially since it isn’t a dark comedy! It has generally pretty light humor in it that you’d see in A Bad Moms Christmas or The House, & though those movies are also quite terrible, Snatched puts them in the context of one of the really bad Scary Movies. This film offers the kind of balls you’d see in Deadpool or The Hitman’s Bodyguard but instead gives the least daring comedy in years. It’s humor is safe but doesn’t have the context of a safe film.

#6. Woody Woodpecker I’m going to be entirely honest... I never really liked Woody Woodpecker. I never found him funny or enjoyable, he’s always been just annoying. Now take the concept of a classic character who’s only personality trait is being annoying & make an entire annoying movie around him with the animation that’d make some of the D-list Blue Sky movies look like Pixar & you get the Woody Woodpecker movie. A movie that literally nobody needs to see! The story is... well, who cares? It’s a Woody Woodpecker movie in the style of The Smurfs, who cares about anything in this? You wanna know how bad it is? Guess... you’re right. How about the comedy... you’re right. It has so few twists & turns that if you simply imagine what it’s like, you’ve seen it. Congrats, you saw the 6th worst movie of 2017.

#5. F The Prom Say what you want about the Smosh movies or the Shane Dawson docuseries, but at least they’re naturally creative people doing creative things. Sure, Ghostmates is horrendously edited, but at least it’s made by people with experience at making popular sketch comedy with an actual audience. The Mind Of Jake Paul probably didn’t go as deep as it should’ve, but at least it’s made by someone who’s used to having to be energetic & humorous on the spot & has an audience who likes his stuff. The Fine Bros. have limited experience at being creative. All of their hit series (Kids React, Elders React) have been based around other people’s creative reactions to someone else’s creative content. And I’m not saying that doesn’t take some hard work; they must have a talent at finding people-pleasers, getting the kinds of reactions to make a compelling opinion, editing them together as to not fuck up their opinions nor the original content, & marketing that to the right audience. That’s why I think they’d make for decent producers, but creative types they are not. That’s why their more creative series like Emo Dad & MyMusic ended as failures with little fanfare. F The Prom was directed & written by the Fine Bros. & watching it, you can tell that everything I just said was true. It’s just a knockoff of The D.U.F.F. which was a knockoff of The Breakfast Club! Why would you want to be The D.U.F.F.? The critical bomb no one saw because it’s nothing like anyone’s high school experience? They both have all the tellings of an ‘80s high school (queen bee cheerleaders, bully jocks, bullied nerds, etc.), which is fine, but then they threw in cell phones & emojis to relate to modern day teenagers. Doing so alienates older audiences who didn’t have sexting when they were in high school & alienates modern teens who don’t have these kinds of cliches anymore. It’s funny that they have a hit series called Teens React because they pretty clearly didn’t ask any of them what modern high schools are like! I was hoping that The Edge Of Seventeen would bring on a wave of great teen movies & Eighth Grade would bring on a wave of great YouTuber movies. But I guess the Fine Bros. had the worst YouTuber movie & 2nd worst teen comedy ever still in them.

#4. CHiPS Okay, I didn’t realize that this list would be made almost entirely of bad comedies, we just happen to be in a bad age for comedy so you’ll have to deal with me typing “unfunny” a little bit longer. CHiPS is cheap & unfunny garbage that I wish I never saw! Every joke was just “sex this” & “sex that” which is fine in moderation & with good writing, but this has neither! It’s trying to be 21 Jump Street but doesn’t understand that what made that so great was it’s clever humor to parody the original franchise & reboot movies as a whole, not just cheap sex jokes! You want to get drunk? Take a shot every time they mention sex, you don’t even need other rules, you’ll be dead 10 minutes in! There’s no cleverness, no nuance, nothing of substance to make it even worth talking about! And that’s why it’s #4!

#3. Let There Be Light Here’s the obligatory Christian movie, I’d stop including them if they stopped being so badly made. The writing, acting, story, cinematography, everything (& I mean everything) seems like they were done by people who don’t know how to make a movie because they were. Christian movies aren’t made to be interesting or Oscar contenders, they’re made to propagate their shitty ideals. That Christianity is good, all other religions are bad. It is, quite literally, propaganda. Which isn’t inherently bad. What is bad that it’s in the service of hatred towards the other (whether it be Atheists, Muslims, gays, etc.) & it’s really badly made. And don’t think that I hate all Christian movies just on principal simply because I myself am a bisexual Atheist. I love Angels In The Outfield, Field Of Dreams, & VeggieTales just as much as everyone else. I hate bad Christian movies that open with 9/11 for literally no reason other than to say “fuck Muslims”. I hate bad Christian movies that support hating others rather than love & acceptance (like what Jesus Christ preached). I hate bad Christian movies that hate me because of how I was born for no reason other than because an old book told them to. There, have I made my point yet? Can these movies please stop being made?

#2. Pitch Perfect 3 I know it’s weird to follow up “this movie hates gay people” with Pitch Perfect 3, but I saw this in theaters surrounded by a bunch of middle-aged women who seriously need to get laid laughing with that kind of annoying theater-people laugh every time a character literally named Fat Amy said “I’m fat, ppppffffttttt!!!!” I have never had such a negative theater experience & the fact that I still had to sit through a movie as bad as Pitch Perfect 3 didn’t fucking help! I can’t stand this movie! It’s annoying, frustrating, unfunny, cheap, & all around bad... but so was A Bad Moms Christmas & Snatched & they were delegated to #10 & #7 respectively. What made Pitch Perfect 3 particularly awful to sit through? Well I wish death upon the audience I saw this with, but there is one more thing... The Pitch Perfect movies weren’t ever, well, perfect but they were perfectly fine, harmless films. There’s a few decent laughs, I like Princess Poppy in them alright, I think the singing was genuinely good. But what separates those films from their sequel is their basis in reality. The Pitch Perfect films always took place in a very realistic, very grounded reality. Pitch Perfect 3, on the other hand, opens with all of the main characters tied up on a Bond-esc villain’s boat, about to be murdered because Fat Amy is his daughter & reasons. If that isn’t jumping the shark, I don’t know what is! And I would accept this if it was fun, but it’s not. In fact, it’s barely focused on until the last half hour when it’s entirely that. The rest of the film is just a less funny Pitch Perfect. Wouldn’t be good, but not 2nd worst movie of 2017 bad. But it’s just so unfunny & the story so convoluted & the audience that annoying! I hate everything in this, I can’t imagine anyone liking this! Fuck this movie!

Before we get to #1, here’s some runners up:

Sandy Wexler I think both I & Adam Sandler are tired of the general Adam Sandler shtick. Encapsulated by the fact that I didn’t include this on my list & Sandler releasing critically praised films such as The Meyerowitz Stories (New And Selected) & 100% Fresh right after this. There’s nothing of note or particularly interesting about Sandy Wexler when compared to Grown Ups or Pixels. It’s another bad Adam Sandler movie, the same as any other, I’m just happy that they seem just about over.

Wish Upon I heard a lot of people consider this film so-bad-it’s-good but I didn’t enjoy its awfulness quite that much. But I did enjoy it just enough to keep it off of the list. There’s lots of accidentally funny moments in this, just not as many as I was hoping.

The Emoji Movie I know a ton of people put this as their worst movie of 2017... but I don’t know. Maybe it’s because people hyped it up too much by the time I got to see it or maybe because I’m a sucker for fast paced animation but I enjoyed this film way too much to put it here. I don’t know, I don’t think it’s that bad. Mostly mediocre, I guess. Same goes for Duck Duck Goose & Gnome Alone.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales 2017 was not a very good year for mediocre movie franchises. Between this, Tom And Jerry: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, & Transformers: The Last Knight, all being god awful & not making much money, maybe it’s the end to these 3 not very beloved series... or Bumblebee will make a bunch of money & nobody will learn any valuable lessons.

What The Health I have no problem with vegans, if anything, I think they’re objectively correct in their arguments, I just like medium rare steak too much! Just please don’t make shitty documentaries with shotty evidence & bad science! This one in particular made me so mad that I stopped watching it half way through & I would’ve put it on the list if I included documentaries!

All Eyez On Me Joke’s on me! I thought Straight Outta Compton would’ve brought a new wave of great music biopics, but apparently it only brought along terribly boring & overly long music biopics with 2018′s Bohemian Rhapsody & 2017′s All Eye’s On Me. The longest 2 & a half hours of my life!

Death Note As a huge fan of the Death Note anime & manga, this is practically blasphemy!... but there is still a lot of creativity & cleverness in it. Granted, those are all from the anime & the worst parts are whenever it tries to be original. But, granted again, if it was just the anime there’d be no reason to watch it. I feel like the people working on this were given a bad hand & probably did the best they could... but it still sucked. I strangely feel very similar about Beauty And The Beast.

Despicable Me 3 I think I just have a really low tolerance for annoyance. I cannot stand being annoyed, I’d rather be tortured! And that is the fatal wound of the Despicable Me franchise. I like the first 2 films just fine, but between this & Minions, I think it’s doomed to annoying purgatory!

47 Meters Down Shark movies are more dead than the shark at the end of Jaws: totally terminated & yet still showing up in films. 47 Meters Down is another hackney entry into a tired genre.

Happy Death Day I feel like I’m alone in hating this film. People praise it for being funny & clever while I bash it for being void of any entertainment & doing the same shit that got overused a decade ago.

#1. Fifty Shades Darker As out of touch F The Prom is, as hate-filled Let There Be Light is, as annoying Pitch Perfect 3 is... at least they have stories. They have comprehensive plots. Things actually happen in them. That is a lot more than what I can say for Fifty Shades Darker. On my 2015 list, I didn’t include Fifty Shades Of Grey because, as a film, it was decently made & had more than a few funny moments that made it worth watching. Its sequel did absolutely nothing, & I mean nothing! Nothing happens! How is this enjoyable for anyone? Just watch porn! You’ll get more out of it & it’ll probably have a better plot anyways.

#fifty shades darker #happy death day #47 meters down #sandy wexler #gnome alone #duck duck goose #the emoji movie #despicable me 3 #death note #beauty and the beast #what the health #all eyez on me #wish upon #transformers: the last knight #pirates of the caribbean: dead men tell no tales #tom and jerry: willy wonka and the chocolate factory #pitch perfect 3 #f the prom #let there be light #chips #woody woodpecker #snatched #bigger fatter liar #the house #diary of a wimpy kid: the long haul #a bad moms christmas #top 10 #top 10 worst #top 10 worst movies of 2017 #movie

[salarta]

For the fun of it, I’m going to post about all the cases I can remember where I stopped buying stuff from a company involved in creative works because of various things they did. Also, my history with them and current state. I could write very long posts on each of these, but my intent is to try to keep it short and straightforward.

Square-Enix

I grew up with Final Fantasy from Squaresoft. It was my lifelong fandom.

Problems arose with Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy IV: The After Years, and Chrono Trigger DS. All of these games either were ideas for new franchises forced where they didn’t belong, or half-assed projects meant to bilk money out of people. The final straw was 3rd Birthday, one of the most insulting works I’ve ever seen. It bent over backwards to ruin perception of Aya, treated her like a sex object, and the producer and scriptwriter lied profusely about things like how the clothes ripping away mechanic was for “realism.”

Current status: Starting 2010, I’ve refused to buy anything Squeenix until a new game starring Aya Brea would be made that treats Aya right and makes 3rd Birthday noncanon. Squeenix’s philosophy is to hide its mistakes instead of fixing them, so I expect I’ll never buy and engage in anything from Squeenix again.

Ubisoft

I didn’t have much history with Ubisoft. I had been starting to get some interest in Assassin’s Creed after an online pal introduced me to the franchise. I greatly enjoyed AC3.

Then, Ubisoft decided to be dicks to Patrice Desilets. A lot could be said about this, but the cliffnotes is this. Desilets was making 1666 with THQ. Ubisoft bought THQ. When Desilets left/was fired (can’t remember which), the rights to 1666 were to go back to him if it got canceled. So, Ubisoft put the game on “indefinite hold” instead of canceling it - ensuring the rights wouldn’t go back to Desilets while never actually doing anything with it. I stopped buying anything Ubisoft until Desilets got the rights back.

Current status: The rights finally went back to Desilets after a few years. I immediately bought four games: Far Cry 3, Far Cry 4, Far Cry Primal, and Assassin’s Creed Syndicate. This year, I bought Far Cry 5, and I currently have Assassin’s Creed Odyssey next to play after I’m done with Soul Calibur VI.

Soul Calibur

I’ve been playing Soul Calibur games since SCII. I’ve enjoyed them a great deal. My favorite character in the franchise is Setsuka.

Soul Calibur V is where I had big complaints. The excuse of a time jump to change the roster conveniently meant most of the female roster “needed” to be changed while most of the male roster got to remain. Including the removal of Sophitia and Taki. To Taki’s exclusion, the director claimed she was “too old” to be a ninja, yet he saw no problem with Mitsurugi, Siegfried, or Raphael returning. I played Lost Swords, but I determined that I wouldn’t play another Soul Calibur entry until Sophitia and Taki were brought back.

Current status: Soul Calibur VI just recently came out, and it brought back Sophitia and Taki, and gave them some of the respect they should’ve gotten during SCV. As such, I own this game. I’m playing it right now. 

Resident Evil

Like most people, I started with Resident Evil 2. I was never a huge fan, but I followed along with main entries up to and including Resident Evil 5.

Then Resident Evil 6 happened. A supposed “anniversary” title, it excluded Jill and Claire completely, while putting Chris and Leon on a pedestal. Other projects began to make it abundantly clear that the current team fanwanks over Chris and Leon while refusing to acknowledge the value of Jill and Claire. I can say so, so much on this, but I’ll refrain for brevity sake. I determined that after RE6, I would only buy something if it starred Jill or Claire, until they got to be the stars of a main numbered entry again.

Current status: Capcom still hasn’t done it, so this rule is still in effect. Notably, I’m skipping the Resident Evil 2 “remake” because it’s become abundantly clear that the team is treating it like a Leon fanwank with Claire included rather than an actual remake.

DC Comics

Of the two “big” superhero entities, DC is the one I grew up with. It was mostly Batman growing up, because that’s what DC was focusing on the most. But I still loved Superman a lot. I never really got to watch any of the cartoons. Never seemed to catch them. It was mostly about films. I came to greatly enjoy Harley Quinn as I got older, to the point where I read her first (in my mind only) solo series.

The first DC “reboot” of the 2010s is where things changed. I had huge problems with how they changed Harley Quinn. The design threw away her entire harlequin theme, and all the fun it meant, to make her basically look like a clown girl Joker knockoff. I dropped everything DC at that point with plan to only engage in stuff that included actual Harley Quinn until she came back.

Current status: In rare cases where I find out actual Harley Quinn is involved in something, I check it out. I watched the Batman and Harley Quinn animated movie (which sucked) in theaters, for example. The only exception I’ve made so far was the Wonder Woman film, to support female-led superhero films. I do see that there’s going to be an animated series with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. If that’s the start of bringing back actual Harley, I may be returning to DC soon.

Nintendo

I also grew up with Nintendo. They were the main video game provider. There’s not a lot to say in this regard.

Other M was where problems started. I actually bought, played and beat the game, and I can tell you it’s an insulting wreck. But it’s Nintendo’s behavior afterward that turned me against them. They basically blacklisted Metroid and Samus except for cases where they “had” to use her. They treated her and Metroid like a minor franchise, ignoring its anniversary, cause they didn’t want to admit they made a mistake and fix it. And there’s also Federation Force which is a whole other ball of bullshit. Nintendo’s antics there led me to refuse to buy anything Nintendo until they decided to make up for what they were doing to Metroid and Samus and treat them right.

Current status: Nintendo put out a new Metroid game and plan to release Prime 4 too. I wish I could say that’s the end of the story, but it isn’t. I’m pretty pissed still that they threw Alison Rapp under the bus for a bunch of vile assholes, and fueled more harassment in the industry. I don’t know when I’ll get Nintendo stuff again. I’m still not fucking over this.

ArenaNet

I bought and played Guild Wars when it came out. I played and enjoyed it. There isn’t a whole lot to say on this.

If you’ve watched video game news this year, you know Mike O’Brien fired Jessica Price and Peter Fries for bullshit reasons. In doing so, he fueled tons of assholes hellbent on harassing good people and forcing them out of the industry. My reaction is that I’m never touching another ArenaNet thing until Mike O’Brien is out. Because he should be forced out. He doesn’t deserve his position.

Current status: Nothing’s changed, so I’m waiting for Mike O’Brien to be gone. I don’t anticipate this being any kind of burden on me.

Disney/Star Wars/Marvel

Oooookay, this is a big ball of stuff right here. It’s gonna be hard to keep this short.

Obviously I grew up on a lot of Disney stuff, like just about anyone in the United States. Star Wars, I got into during the 90s when the original trilogy was getting released. Marvel, I saw stuff here and there but didn’t truly give a damn until 2009 when I discovered Polaris.

When Disney bought up Star Wars, they shut down Lucasarts very abruptly, with no plans whatsoever to prep the studio’s employees for its end. I found (and still find) that absolutely fucking atrocious. So, I refuse to touch Star Wars video games. I actually don’t have any criteria for engaging in Star Wars content again. Maybe that criteria will come back some day. Maybe I’ll never touch another Star Wars game. This happened in 2013, by the way.

Then Marvel. After the forced retcon on Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver’s parentage, I vowed to never buy or engage in anything from Marvel except content that’s either X-Men related or tied to Polaris, until the twins were Magneto’s kids again. Only exception I made was the Black Panther movie, to support minority-led films.

Now, I’m about to drop everything Disney - including X-Men content, Star Wars, ABC programs and anything else - because of their treatment of Polaris this past year. To treat Polaris like her only value exists in being a supporting character for the stories of men, then throw her into limbo while putting those men on a pedestal, fucking infuriates me. Disney does not deserve money or support, so I won’t give it to them. This will only change for me if Polaris gets a solo, mini or oneshot comic, or leads a team book again.

Current status: No plans to ever play a Star Wars game again. Everything’s on track for me to refuse to touch Disney content after this year, possibly for the rest of my life. Only exception I plan to make is Episode IX, just to wrap up the sequel trilogy I’ve been watching.

In conclusion, I have a lot of companies that I refuse to play, watch, read anything they offer. Sometimes, like with Soul Calibur and Ubisoft, things change for the better and I come back to it. But most of the time, it’s like Squeenix or Disney. A company treats franchises or people like shit, they do nothing to fix their mistakes, I continue to not give them money or support because they don’t deserve it.

A lot of people think this is a huge burden. It’s not. The truth is that in our world, there’s a looooooooooooooot of creative content out there. If I wanted to, I could spend the rest of my life reading all the fanfiction written just today. I’m watching 5 TV shows right now that aren’t tied to Disney, more than I watched during the 2000s. I’ve recently played Far Cry 5, Fist of the North Star: Lost Paradise, Soul Calibur VI, and I’ll soon by playing Assassin’s Creed Odyssey.

I don’t need these companies to find entertainment. In some cases, I can even make my own. I can create things that these companies refuse to make. These companies need me more than I need them, because they need money to stay in business, and my money plays a role in that.

That’s my long post.