#aka mason panics trying to fill out forms for 905 words

[hdmason]

To disclose, or not to disclose

Words: 905

Of course a major step between Mason and potentially achieving his biggest dream is paperwork. Just his fucking luck.

It had to be forms, that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. His autism made this shit nearly impossible when it was just a one or two page document for the doctor, but now he had four pages? Fuck him, he guessed.

But if this was the the biggest hurdle in between him and getting on a show that could potentially debut him? Then he would do it to the best of his ability. He would even write twice as slowly as he normally did so his handwriting would be actually legible. Sure, his Korean handwriting was better than his English, but he didn’t want to take any risks and have anyone unable to read a single symbol.

He had to do this in stages, basically filling out a section, then taking a break and playing a round of Overwatch. Another section, then a youtube video. A section, then a few minutes doing the upkeep on his Minecraft world. He was actually almost done but stopped when he realized the next section might actually be the hardest.

“Three pieces of trivia about you”.

Fuck. Why was talking about yourself so easy when you weren’t supposed to, but when asked, you forget who you are? Well, maybe that was just Mason.

Then, Mason smirked as he thought of his first one, thinking that his autism would be a badge of honor for making it this far in the trainee process with it. However, before his pen hit paper, he thought about it again. This wasn’t just some personality quiz or dating app profile, this was potentially his future. He had to really think about this.

He had to consider where he currently was. He was in South Korea, where autism still had a huge stigma around it. Mason wasn’t ashamed of it by any means, but he knew to not draw too much attention to his condition with those who grew up here until he really got to know them and knew they would be accepting. This show wasn’t like telling a friend, this would be telling the world something about him that could change their perspective of him before he even got a chance to show off who he was. Mason knew everything about everything in kpop, and he knew there were zero openly autistic kpop stars. Sure, there were some he suspected, but that was mostly him hoping for the sake of solidarity; he didn’t have any concrete proof.

But then that was a potential positive, wasn’t it? If Mason was the first kpop star to be openly autistic, maybe he could seriously make a difference in the public’s perception of the disability. It could be huge! Plus, Mason knew how important representation was. He thought of how many little kids with autism could see him living his dream and see themselves in him, and wasn’t that the most important thing in the world? If Mason could help one kid feel better about themselves through his performances, his entire career would be worth it. With that, he put his pen back to paper, ready to write about his condition when another thought hit him.

He wouldn’t be able to be representation for anyone if he wasn’t let on the show in the first place. The stigma was there, correctly or not. If he publicized it too soon, he might not even get the chance to be on TV, let alone debut.

Mason sighed, leaning back in his chair and running his fingers through his hair. Who knew writing three facts about yourself could be so hard? He blew air out between his lips as he stared at the paper before making a decision.

He would publicize his condition... just not yet. He wouldn’t be able to make any difference at the trainee stage. But once he debuted, once they won their first award, once he was already a welcome presence in people’s homes, then he could drop the bomb. He could then be an inspiration for little kids with autism everywhere. He made a promise to himself that he would do it, make his condition known, once he was in a more stable position and actually able to make a difference.

But that left him with three more “fun facts” to think of.

Think, Mason, think. Who are you?

Alright, well, he’s been dancing since he was eleven. That not only showed off his skill, but also his dedication to his art. Boom, there was one. Second, hm... oh, maybe his love for Overwatch 2? It was a relatively popular game, either for good or bad reasons, so people would see he also has interests outside of kpop (though admittedly, not many). Now for the third...

Well, people calling him the “unofficial maknae” of the Wonder Nation boys was interesting, right? That was something that no one else was going to write and was memorable, at least a little?

He wrote all three down before going back and reading the entire document, triple checking it for errors. It looked good to him, and he was honestly proud of himself for getting it done so quickly after receiving it. He literally reached around and gave himself a pat on the back before deciding to celebrate with a bit of ice cream.

He earned it. 

#solo #tw ableism #technically? #nothing major at all though #aka mason panics trying to fill out forms for 905 words #lol