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#ah yes trying to take money from joker himself--smart.
psychxpxthic · 1 year
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|| @jokethur | 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹 || ------- Located in historic Wynwood, feel free to enrich yourself with everything mango; from vanilla layered cake with mango curd to Mango Lemonade ! Stroll along our historic main street and find that perfect treasure at our many venues. There is so much to do: unique shopping, children's activities, demonstrations, fun-filled contests, festival foods, live music and more. So don't miss this free, family-friendly festival ! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mellow cozy rays beamed down from the sky, spreading warmth across the streets of Wynwood; a city located a town over from Gotham. A city that felt almost entirely untouched from the modern era, still captivating an authentic aura that beguiled many of its occupancies. Typically tranquil, this suburban community needn't much to draw in a crowd, but crowds there were when the time came for it's much well known Mango Festival.
Many streets already blocked off from the event; folks coming early to prepare for the many delectable dishes presented, along with more of the miscellaneous venues. You had your fair share of people trying to sell paintings they'd created, to even outer décor meant for garden use. But perhaps, no other booth stood out most than the one belonging to Edgar Cizko himself.
It was a bijou booth which sat a little ways away from the others— not only feeling out of place, but also looking out of place too. The stand was painted entirely purple with different array of light fixtures hung up and around it's surface to catch people's attention. In white bold letterings a sign read off ' Psychic '. Alongside this were also decorative stars painted onto the woodwork, in company with a single painted open palm on the left side of the frame. The opening had been obscured by beads threaded through strings, making the inside almost entirely unseen for ongoing passersby.
Light glistened off from the ovoids as a olive toned hand crept out, pushing the blanket of beads away from his path before stepping out. Even with a compact structure, Edgar stood out like a sore thumb, especially with the garb he'd presented himself in for this event. Typically clothed in a black suit, he'd instead found himself wearing a purple blazer with rounded shades over his eyes and a metal chain hung over his neck. Around his wrists were dissimilar mismatched bracelets, each being made out of varying different rocks and crystals. Then finally, worn on all digits but his ring finger were many flashy bands. Eventually, he'd appear as someone would when claiming to be some sort of Psychic.
Moving the sunglasses away from his face, Edgar allowed them to sit at the top of his head. He'd began to scan the perimeter. He needed money, and quick. Sure people were coming into his booth, but not enough to make the doctor feel content. But then...
Piercing almond eyes which appeared almost crimson from the sunlight fallen directly onto one who'd worn a suit of red. It was Arthur, and he'd seem to accompanied by two little rascals. To him, this was all too perfect— he could make a easy buck out of these three, instead of just having to search for one individual. Besides, he was a clown ! Fooling him into handing over some money shouldn't be that hard of a feat, right ?
Amongst the crowd called out a low yet velvet sounding voice, one that held some elegancy to it. It was distinct, distinct enough to ensure someone to turn their head.
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❝ Salutations my good sir ! ❞ He chimed out with a sneer ❝ Might I interest you in a reading ? Come—Come, Don't be shy ! I have a one hundred percent back satisfaction guaranteed. What's there to lose ? ❞
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goggles-mcgee · 3 years
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i’m really loving the Wish me Away au idea! Would you be up to writing about what the batfam does after seeing mari’s reaction to emilie and adrien?
Like an actually little drabble? Yeah sure! It'll be based off the headcanons from this post -> 👶
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Bruce couldn't remember having so much fun, he always loved to brag about his kids and show them off at work, but it was a little hard when it was 'Bring Your Kid To Work Day' and most of your kids worked with you. That's why he was so happy bringing little Marietta with him to Wayne Enterprises, he also brought Damian but Damian had wandered off to see what Dick did since, and he quotes, "I know everything about you father. If I am to be your successor it is only natural I familiarize myself with your work. I believe it would be beneficial for me to oversee Grayson's work ethic."
Honestly, Damian could have just said he wanted to see what Dick did but that was just part of Damian's charm. Before he had left, Damian had let Marietta grab his finger and give it a little shake which delighted her, if Bruce was not mistaken, Damian had even smiled before he said bye to the both of them. The boy had really grown to love Mari and Bruce could not be more proud of his son. Though, he had to admit, all of his children were absolutely enamored with the baby, not to say he wasn't, but Lord have mercy on anyone who dared mess with his baby girl. She would have an army behind her of overprotective brothers and sisters, and father and mother, and grandfather, and cow...and turkey...and dogs...and cats...and dragon bat....and semi-god things that called themselves kwamis...and two very very powerful almost godlike godparents (Diana and Clark.) Now Bruce didn't like to think about it but he did also have to add Mari's....friends to that list... i.e. some of his rogues, which yes was fucking bizarre beyond all reason, but some had even cut back on crime because of their friendship with his little mini-hero so that was a plus. Right?
Well that was a thought for another day, now he got to take his little girl around and take her into meetings, which was certainly going to be interesting, but Marietta always seemed interested in watching him work so he wasn't too worried. He packed her plenty of snacks along with her lunch that Alfred made, he made sure to pack her favorite toys and a variety of coloring books and markers and crayons. And of course he remembered to pack cookies for Tikki who was riding in the hood of Marietta's dress. Plus he made sure to pack a little first aid kid just in case, also another sweater for Marietta in case she got cold.
He liked to be prepared. Sue him.
First meeting of the day was with a Ms. Graham de Vanily. If his memory served right this was Emilie and not Amelie who he had spoken with in the past. Not for the first time he had to wonder what possessed their parents to name the identical twin sisters Emilie and Amelie, but apparently she had brought along her son as well so that made this meeting a little less awkward. He adjusted his hold on Marietta before he continued on his walk to his office where he would be meeting Ms. Emilie, he had hoped to show his daughter around more when they had arrived but he had actually forgotten about this particular meeting and so hadn't rescheduled it to a time when he would hand over Marietta to one of her brother's since they deemed it "unfair" that only he got to show her his work.
Honestly his boys. They were wonderful but boy did they get jealous of one another if Marietta gave one more attention than the other. He fondly remembered one family game night where all the boys were asking who Mari's favorite brother is and she had just been laughing at all the attention not really understanding and it was the first time Bruce had witnessed Damian giving someone a smile and opening his arms for a hug. Of course he had done it behind all his siblings backs and only Alfred and Bruce himself had seen it. It was a sight to see everyone's face when Mari giggled out a, "Dami!", and ran over to him. When everyone turned around he was back to his stoic face but he was hugging Marietta and she was snuggling herself against him but as he looked at everyone he gave them a small smirk. There was an uproar, a demand for a retest, but Damian wouldn’t have it and it had been one of the most chaotic nights in the Manor. Selina had been very entertained especially when Marietta somehow made her way out of the gaggle of children and waddled over to her and had climbed in her lap very clumsily before plopping herself down and making herself comfortable, almost like a cat Bruce had thought, before smiling up at Selina. Selina had just turned to Bruce and said in a complete monotone voice, “I would die for this child.” 
Him and Selina hadn't tied the knot yet so to say, nor had he proposed. They were trying their hand at dating again but he couldn't help the way his heart skipped and his mind conjured up images of tuxedos, lace, friends and family, cakes and kisses, and rings and vows exchanged, when his baby girl, his little Marietta looked up at Selina and called her Maman. Bruce wondered if she ever shared his thoughts, he almost convinced himself she did whenever he saw her melt and practically purr when Mari, or as Selina liked to call her, Kitten, would call her Maman. He could see the love in the older woman's eyes and he had no doubt in his heart that this time, they would work out, this time they would get their 'happily ever after' or whatever came close to it.
He was ripped from his thought when he heard his baby girl giggle at something Lucius said.
"Morning Lucius."
"And good morning to you Mr. Wayne. I see you brought the little one."
"Yes. I promised I would bring her but I must admit, the meeting with Ms. Graham de Vanily slipped my mind." Bruce sighed out.
"I guessed as much. Well if you want, I can watch the Little Wayne while you have your meeting." Lucius offered, of course Bruce trusted him to watch Marietta seeing as the older man also practically adopted Mari at first sight. He was basically another grandfather to her.
"Gampa Fox!" Marietta began before dissolving into her baby babble. She was getting very good at speaking. Honestly she was very smart for a two year old.
"That's okay Lucius, I want to bring her in. Besides if her brothers spot her with you they wouldn't hesitate to snatch her up before their scheduled times. If Ms. Graham de Vanily has a problem with it I will insist on a reschedule. It's not everyday I get some one on one time with Marietta." Bruce admitted.
"You know one day someone is going to say no to you despite your good looks, money and reputation. Fine. Head on in, our guest is already here, which by the way, I don't think she will mind Mari seeing as she brought her own son to this meeting." Lucius sighed but he gave Mari a little wave and pointed Bruce to one of the smaller meeting rooms they had in Wayne Enterprises.
"Aww Lucius you think I'm good looking?"
"Go."
"Yes sir." Bruce chuckled out with a brief wave before he made his way over to the meeting room Lucius had pointed to and gently rapped his knuckled on the outside door despite the room being visible from outside because of the large windows. He heard a feminine voice call out from inside so he entered,
“Remember your manners Marietta and if you need anything don’t be shy.” Bruce told his daughter softly as they walked in, he chuckled when she nodded enthusiastically. As soon as he caught sight of the blonde woman he put on his best business smile. “Ah, Ms. Graham de Vanily, so sorry to keep you waiting. I must admit that this meeting slipped my mind.”
“No worries Mr. Wayne, I don’t believe this will be long. I see you brought your daughter. I brought my son! Adrien say hi.” Ms. Graham de Vanily light-heartedly scolded her son and tapped his shoulder. When Bruce took his seat and placed Marietta on his lap he finally got a good look at them both. Both mother and son were blond, her son, Adrien was a teenager, from the looks of it he was 16 maybe even 17. When his mother tapped him on the shoulder he sat up straighter than when he was slouching so obviously he didn’t want to come. So why bring him then? 
“Hello Mr. Wayne, it’s an honor to meet you.” Adrien greeted him with a model smile, he had seen enough to spot them from the real deal.
“Likewise. Marietta, can you say ‘hello’ to our guests?” Bruce asked gently down to his daughter who was being uncharacteristically quiet. Usually she would already saying ‘hi’ and waving, maybe even trying to get a high five or hand shake. Though now she was hiding her face in his chest and hugging her backpack to her, she made a small noise like a whimper and Bruce was absolutely dumbfounded. His daughter had never acted like this before, not even with Joker for crying out loud yet here she was trembling and trying to hide herself in his arms. He didn’t know what was going on but his daughter was scared so he scooped her up and held her closer to him but she still tried to pull herself closer. Finally Bruce caught sight of Tikki inside Marietta’s open backpack and saw her antennae-like things pulled back and her eyes narrowed as the kwami glared at Ms. Graham de Vanily and her son, if he wasn’t mistaken she was even glowing a faint red especially as she stared at Adrien. Bruce didn’t understand what was causing these reactions but he did know one thing, he wasn’t going to make Marietta sit there.
“I apologize. She’s not normally like this, I think it would be best if I take her to one of her brothers if you don’t mind.” 
“Oh...no worries at all. I’m sorry if we scared her somehow.” The woman actually sounded genuine but Bruce wasn’t going to risk anything, especially with how her son actually looked at his daughter for the first time that they walked in there.
“I’m sure that’s not the case, but it will probably be best to take her to one of her brothers that way we can get through this meeting. I will be fast.” With that he was out the room and speedwalking down the hall over to Lucius’s office. “I don’t have time to explain but Marietta was acting strange around Ms. Graham de Vanily and her son and Tikki as well. Can you take her to one of her brothers please? Just inform me who and I will go pick her up after the meeting.”
Lucius on his part did his best not to ask questions knowing Bruce didn’t have the time but he did raise a brow that told Bruce he would be answering those unasked questions later. “Of course. I’ll go see what Dick and Damian are up to.”
“Thank you Lucius.” Bruce said sincerely before he made his way back to his meeting. He had questions too and they were all for Tikki, but there would be time for that later, now it was time for business.
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The meeting passed and all Bruce could think about was getting to Marietta. He checked his texts from Lucius that informed him that he did indeed leave Mari with Dick and Damian so he made his way over to the central security room knowing that’s where Dick would most likely be. When he got there he was relieved to see his baby girl laughing and playing with Dick while Damian sat on a chair watching, as he walked in the two boys stood up swiftly with Dick scooping up Marietta and angling her away from the door but when they saw it was him they relaxed. “Father, Lucius told us nothing, what happened?” Damian demanded.
“I’m not sure myself. Marietta started acting scared when we got in the meeting room with Ms. Graham de Vanily and her son Adrien.” Bruce answered.
“NO!” They all stared at Marietta in shock when she screamed and tried to hide herself in Dick’s chest, then they all stared at each other with wide eyes. 
“Hey, hey, hey. Etta what’s wrong?” Dick asked softly.
“No Adrien! No!” Marietta cried out. 
The air grew cold. Bruce could hear his son’s gasp and he wouldn’t be surprised if he did as well. “ طفل الخفافيش (tifl alkhafafish), you’re safe. This Adrien won’t harm you I promise.” Damian cooed to Marietta.
“الأخ الأكبر (al'akhu al'akbar).” Mari cried out wetly as she reached her hands out for him and he of course took her out of Dick’s arms and held her. 
“Tikki. Explain...please.” Bruce pleaded.
Tikki flew out of Mari’s backpack and sadly looked over at the girl before flying over to her and kissing the top of her head before flying and landing on Dick’s desk. “It’s...They are from her old life. Ad- He was her former partner...the one who wished her away. That woman shouldn’t be alive.” 
“He was the one to betray her?” Damian asked, his voice full of ice and steel. “Father I will be needing my swords. All of them.”
“Damian. No.”
“What do you mean no?” His son asked indignantly.
“Yeah what do you mean no?” Tikki asked with a tilt of her head, Bruce glared at her, she knew what she was doing.
“Tikki what do you mean that woman shouldn’t be alive?” Dick asked.
“Simply that. She was a corpse. No soul. Haw-Gab- The villain Mari had to face before, she was his wife. He wished for her life.” Tikki explained as though it made total sense to all of them.
“Yeaaaaah, you’re going to need to expand on that.” Dick said which made Tikki frown in confusion.
“While I do agree with that, maybe we should wait until we are at home to continue this conversation. You boys know how Tim and Jason will be if they aren’t informed about what happened. You boys tell them and I’ll take Marietta. We will continue on with our day, but if you see either of them lingering here alert me. I don’t want Marietta to have to interact with them at all if we can help it.” Bruce said as he gently took Marietta from Damian who looked like he wanted to do anything but give his little sister to his father.
“If I see them I have a right to defend Marietta.” Damian stated. “You can’t stop me.”
“Damian.”
“Don’t worry Bruce, at least he doesn’t have a sword on him.” Dick chuckled.
“Who said I didn’t? Was it Todd?” 
Bruce needed a break. Bruce questioned why he had so many kids not for the first time in his life. Bruce decided to ignore the fact his child admitted to having a sword somewhere on him and just did as he said he was going to do, continue his day with his daughter and if he held her a little closer to him than usual? Well it couldn’t be helped. 
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I know it’s not like the reactions yet but I am in the process of writing Wish Me Away so take this! XD
طفل الخفافيش (tifl alkhafafish): Baby Bat
“الأخ الأكبر (al'akhu al'akbar): Big Brother
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happiness is a butterfly (part 1)
author's note: thank you for the responses to my first fanfic on this tumblr!! i don't really have a schedule for when I write or specific characters who i write for at the moment, i just thought i could use this whole quarantine thing as a time to be productive:))
this fic is named after a lana del rey song
the dark knight, except you are the second person the joker captures in order to get batman to reveal his identity. little does he know, you're as broken as he is. (ledger!joker x reader)
trigger warning: psychological trauma, mentions of violence, mentions of mental illness, reader experiences panic attacks
If he's a serial killer, then what's the worst
That could happen to a girl who's already hurt?
I’m already hurt
The room is damp and cold, with no source of light. The smell of rotting flesh suffocates your air.
You’ve been here for hours now.
When you’d first woken up, groggy from the effects of some drug, you’d begun to hyperventilate in the pitch black, the ropes that bound you pressing down tightly on your organs and making it even more difficult to breathe. 
Breathe in, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... breathe out, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...
This had continued on for longer than it normally would. Every time you managed to drag in enough air to fill your lungs, thoughts that this was more than a kidnapping by those who wanted money or sex flashed through your mind in garish colours of green and purple, and the oxygen was ripped from your body once again. 
Eventually your breathing had steadied, and now here you sit, two hours later, still pulling on your ropes and trying desperately to think of a way out. 
The sudden shove of what must be the door knocks the breath that you’ve spent so long obtaining out of you, and the harsh glare of electric lights followed by the sight of a tall, stooped figure in a purple suit make you scream.
How funny that just a few days ago, you were watching and pitying the police officer in the exact same position that you are now in safely from your bedroom, if unhappily at least safely, and at least safely from others, if not from yourself.
Your gasping cries echoe about the room, grating on the peeling walls and the intruder’s ears and the huge hunks of bloody red meat hanging from hooks in the corners - 
‘Shh, darling, shh.’
And the Joker is in front of you, and you take in the matted green hair and the yellow teeth and the face plastered in white greasepaint and the bright red lips and the two huge scars curving up from the corners of his mouth, forming a grisly smile. He paws at your face with a gloved hand, the action quick and sharp and devoid of tenderness.
He wants you to shut up.
Your terror overrules your hatred and you stop screaming, having to come up for little gasps of air every few seconds.
'Oh, smart girl.'
His voice sounds exactly like it did in the clips they showed on the TV; the Joker speaks in snarls, with a wet smack of the lips at the end of each sentence. He is still close to you. You can smell sweat, leather, and blood.
'I presume you know why you're here, doll.'
There is no point in lying: you raise your trembling head, and nod.
'And I presume... you have seen my previous recording, yes?'
Another nod.
'ANSWER ME!'
His bark makes you jump, and sends chills trickling down your spine like cold water. You want to curl up in a ball and die out of sheer terror, but you force your dry mouth to open, unsticking your lips bit by bit, and...
'yes.'
The Joker leers. He puts his large hands on your shaking thighs and pushes himself down into a kneeling position, red lips grinning up at you.
He is like a cat, toying with its prey to make it taste sweeter.
'And what, ah, did I say, was the purpose...' the intruder's fingers trace small circles on your skin, 'of my video?'
You know the purpose, but you don't want to say it, can't say it, because if you said it, you'd be admitting the truth to yourself, and even after everything you've been through, you don't want to die.
As each second of silence passes each thigh circle becomes bigger, and the Joker's long nails dig deeper into soft skin, and tiny red roses of blood begin to bloom. You feel the urge to let him continue: to let him scratch his way down to bone and marrow and eventually to the chair you're trapped in, while you suffer in proud, noble silence.
But when the Joker sighs irritatedly and pulls out a knife from his boot, you decide you are a coward.
'You - you are using me - to try - to try to - to try to get Batman to reveal who - who he really is.'
'Full marks, doll... and you are a pretty doll, aren't you? Wanna know why I chose you for this, ehem, operation?'
Silence.
'Course you do. Now. It seems as though our, hehe, brave, Batman, did not have much sympathy for the poor police officer who was sitting exactly where you are now...'
See, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham...
'Otherwise you wouldn't be sitting exactly where you are now! Geddit?'
The Joker laughs a maniacal laugh, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end.
'So, in order to persuade both Batman and the good citizens of Gotham to reveal his identity, I have chosen someone younger, prettier, more, ah, innocent, than our dear police officer, to fill their hearts with empathy and the urgent desire to act -
Namely, you.'
Blood pounds in your ears. You've forgotten entirely about controlling your breathing - but what is the point, when you are going to die?
'You're terrified, doll.'
The Joker's tongue wets his bottom lip.
In a quick thrust he pushes himself off the ground so he is towering above you once again. The knife spins in the air before he catches it with nimble fingers. Footsteps sound on the floor, and the Clown begins to pace the room.
'Before I start to make my little films, however, I like to play a few games. Just to get my actors into the right mood, you see.'
You can't breathe, please, god, someone, help, because you can't breathe...
'Here's what we're going to do.'
to be continued...
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Text
Total Drama Smash Bros: Episode 2, Part 2 Something Fishy This Way Comes...
*Wario wanders around a dark and fog-filled campground by a lake, looking in vain for the tell-tale signs of the Camp in question, unfortunately it seems like he's in the wrong place*
Wario: Welp, that's it, I'm lost. Sakurai damn it! What's a guy got to do to steal a measley twenty-million around here!?
*An unknown 1st Person POV shot begins tracking Wario through the abandoned campground while breathing heavilly*
Wario: Dammit Ganondorf! You couldn't of hidden your summer camp of torture somewhere more accessible?! And what's this shit about not inviting me to help in your revenge fetish story?! And what the hell is up with this place?! Camp Crystal Lake?! What kind of bullshit name for a camp is that?! You might as well name it Camp Super Happy and be done with it! Why I outghta-
*Wario is interrupted from his rant by the 1st Person POV approaching behind him. Wario turns to see a massive mountain of a man in ragged clothes wearing a hockey mask and wielding a machete.*
Wario: Oh, hey there buddy. You okay? You're breathing kind of heavy. You need a cough drop or something?
*The man does not respond, merely continues breathing heavily and glaring at Wario*
Wario: Hey, buddy! I'm talkin' to ya! *More silence* Look buddy, you're kind of violating Wairo's personal space, so I'm gonna have to ask you to back off.
*The man does not respond, merely lifting up his mask and allowing Wario to see his face before replacing it*
Wario: Woah! Buddy, that's one hell of a condition! I've got some skin cream in my bag, here let me get it for ya. *The masked man raises his machete as Wario fishes through his pack.*
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Back at the Fishing Grounds
*The boats have shoved off and the teams have departed. Some are doing well! Others are doing... not so well.*
(Erdrick and Robyn's boat)
Erdrick: I got one! We're eating good tonight!*Begins reeling in his line*
Robyn: Wow. That was fast.
Erdrick: Almost here... almost here...! *he reels it in revealing it to be... an old boot* Aw, tartar sauce. *he glumly throws the boot into the boat*
(Roy and Samus' boat)
Samus: Jeez, how do you use this thing? It's so primitive!
Roy: Well, how do you usually go fishing?
Samus: I get on a aqua terrain suit, load up my spear-gun, and take the offensive. None of this waiting around crap.
Roy: Right, future, forgot. *sighs* Here, let me show you.
Samus: Right. So, where's the prime interface so I can load up the targeting system?
*Roy facepalms*
(Link and Bonny Janet)
Link: *staring at the water thoughtfully, surveying the whole area*
Bonny Janet: Oi! Elfy! Ya goona let ma in oon tha' big secret?
Link: Just determining the best place to fish. Have to take into account water currents, sunshine, and a whole bunch of other- fuck it. *Link jumps into the water and reemerges a minute later with a Spotted buck-Salmon clenched between his jaws*
Bonny Janet: BLOODY HELL! Do ya always fish like thaat?
Link, spitting the fish into the boat: My ancestors used fishing rods, but Mipha taught me to fish like a Zora. Lots more efficient.
Bonny Janet thinks for a moment before an evil grin comes over her face: Oi. Ya think ya could get moore tha' way? We git moore, oone fer each oof our team... an' wee've goot a good chance o' winnin'!
Link, pulling himself into the boat: Huh. Good idea Bonny.
*The two look over to see Marth struggling to thread a fishing line through a hook and Joker shooting into the water with his gun, trying to hit one of the fish.*
Bonny Janet: Oi! Princey! Witch-son! *Bonny throws the fish Link caught at their boat, smacking Marth in the face, knocking him down*
Joker, picking up the fish from an unconscious Marth: Thanks Bonny!
*Link and Bonny Janet give a thumbs up which Peach sees and grows frustrated*
-
Confessional
Peach: This is bad. Link and the imp working together?! This is seriously bad news.
-
(With Erdrick and Robyn again)
Erdrick: Ooh! Ooh! I know I got one this time!
*Erdrick reels in his catch only to be another boot.*
Erdrick: Gods dammit!  *tosses it beside the other boot*
(With Lucina and Dark Pit)
*The two are sitting in silence together*
Lucina: Hey, DP, you want some? *holds up a bag of chocolate covered peanuts*
Dark Pit: Sure, hand 'em over.
*Lucina gives DP some*
-
Confessional
Dark Pit: I appreciate Lucina. She's knows that sometimes people just don't want to talk.
-
*Lucina suddenly gets a bite on her line*
Lucina: Shit! It's a big one! *Lucina does her best to reel in the catch. Dark Pit comes up behind her and helps her haul up on the line* Almost! There!
*The catch finally breeches the surface and they see that they have hooked a massive shark. All three simply stare at each other for a long moment before Dark Pit slowly reaches forward and cuts the line. The shark disappears beneath the waves and Lucina slowly puts down her line, curling into a ball*
(With Peach, Zelda, and Pit's boat)
*Peach, Zelda, and Pit have carefully followed Link and Bonny Janet as they've fished up a small pile of their prey to distribute to their team.*
Peach: Okay Zelda, now's your chance. Drive the wedge! Drive it!
*Zelda looks reluctnant but nods*
Peach: And Pit. I need you to sneak over and steal all those fish while they're distracted!
-
Confessional
Peach: I hated to drive Zelda and Pit like that, but I need this prize money! Bowser's conctant kidnapping of me, destroying my kingdom over and over, and the subsequent repairs and reparations have left the royal coffers practically empty! The Mushroom Kingdom needs the financial boost.
-
Confessional
Pit: I'm not sure I like how Peach is running this alliance. I want to win too, but Link and Bonny seem to be finally making friends. I know I'm not very smart, that's why I let Peach and Zelda call most of the shots... but I don't know about this.
-
Zelda: Oh, Link! You're real good at this!
Link: Thanks Zelda! It's good to know we're still friends even though we're on different teams
Zelda, looking even more guilty now, continues: You probably could have caught more if Bonny had contributed more.
Bonny Janet: Oi! Where do ya get oof ya pastel pint! Ah've helped more than ye've helped yer team!
Link: Hey! Lay off Zelda! She's not used to doing stuff like this.
Bonny Janet: Ooo ya! She joost sits in 'er castle 'an let's folk like ye do all the werk! Didn' know ye were soocha  doormat Elfy!
Link: Zelda's done lots to help Hyrule! And I'm not a doormat.
Bonny Janet: Soonds lake soomethin' a doormat would say!
*As they argue neither notice Pit surfacing from the water beside their boat*
Red: Hey!
*Bonny and Link turn to see that Red and Leaf have come up near them*
Leaf: Both of you, cut it out! You're on the same team! You can tear each other apart AFTER we win. You're teammates aren't you? Act like it!
*Both Link and Bonny shift uncomfortably*
Bonny: Aye. Ah' suppose ah' woos a wee bit harsh.
Link: And I think I spoke rashly.
Bonny: Aye... peace? *she offers her hand*
Link: Yeah, pea- HEY!
*Both turn and see Pit swimming away with their catch*
Bonny Janet: YOU DIRTY THIEF!
Link: Dammit!
Red: Sorry guys.
Bonny Janet: Oi! Elfy! Can ye catch more?!
Link, frowning: I don't know... maybe?
*Peach, meanwhile, grabs her team's bucket of bait, a load of chum, and hurls it into the water around Link and Bonny's boat*
Link: Oooh, that's not good.
*Instantly over a dozen sharks surface around them with evil grins on their faces*
(With Erdrick and Robyn)
Erdrick: Oh boy! Finally!
Robyn: If it's another damn boot.
Erdrick: No way! It's way too big to be a boot! *Begins to reel it in* We're... guaranteed... to win! *Erdrick hauls up his catch... only to find it a massive crate full of boots*
Robyn: I don't know why I expected any different.
*A massive whistle suddenly sounds out and they all turn to see Ganondorf on the shore*
Ganondorf: And that's it kiddies! Time's up!
Corrine: Time's up! But you- You- uggh. I'm not even going to bother.
Ganondorf: Good call! Now haul in and let's see what you've caught!
--------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------
*The Campers are all assembled. The Koopas all hold fish distributed to them by Peach's team's ill gotten gains. Link and Bonny, bruised and beaten from their shark attack, glare at the three offenders. Pit and Zelda look down guiltily.*
Ganondorf: What a fishing trip that was! Way better than I thought it was gonna be.
Red: Yeah. *Glaring daggers at Peach and company* A lot more theivery than I expected too.
Ganondorf: True, but not against the rules. *Ganondorf takes in the teams* Now, only Marth and Joker managed to bring in a fish... but it's the biggest one! Goombas take this one!
*There's a bit of shocked silence before the Goombas start cheering and the Koopas look on in shock and anger*
Peach: But! B-but-
Ganondorf: If you'll recall, I said only that the team “with the biggest fish wins”. Not how many. Quality over quantity.
Bonny Janet: Boo yeah!
Link: Hell yeah! *the two high five each other*
Ganondorf: That mean that the Goombas will have the advantage in part two of today's challenge. We'll be right back with the exciting conclusion of Episode 2... of Total, Drama, Smash Bros!
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steve0discusses · 6 years
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Yugioh S2 Ep 26-27: Marik Also Tries Mind-Crushing, Except Literal and With A Very Large Storage Unit
Ah, Yugioh, where two children are possessed by ghosts and two other children are possessed by just some guy named Marik.
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He’s still pretty sure he has a plan. To be honest, at this point it just seems like he’s desperate, but I have to hand it to Marik, that he’s doing more than just relying on a spooky golden maraca thing he keeps in the side pocket of his cargo pants. Something that a lot of shows do really wrong with villains (pointing fingers directly at My Hero Academia while I’m typing this) is that they rely too much on their fancy looking superpowers to show they’re a bad guy. It’s fine to have super powers but you gotta back it up with making sure you’re throwing your heroes into a psychological nightmare--at least once.
At least once, MHA, it is Season 3. Please. You have such a huge budget and the best animators in the world. Please. I beg of you.
Yugioh, on the other hand is like...when WON’T we be in a psychological nightmare?
And so Marik has decided, after the bandsaw murder clown incident, the blown up skyscraper 100 story fall to your death incident, and the spooky mime incident, that he was ready to just really go to town on effed up villain stuff today. It’s time to pull all the stops. He’s got Yugi’s BFF’s all ready to turn on Yugi, he’s got an abandoned shipyard...for some reason...
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All in all, as much as I rat on Marik, I very much appreciate that he didn’t monologue in some Mahjong bar for twelve episodes about all the reasons he wants to do evil stuff, he just goes out and does it. Let me rephrase, he just goes out and makes other people do it, but at least someone is doing something in every episode. Can’t say that about all the TV I watch.
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You do have to hand it to him he never does the same plan twice.
(read more after the cut)
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So, spotting Joey from afar, Kaiba lands his helicopter dangerously close to him, and just walks out unarmed, his smallest brother standing next to him. Mokuba is still taking everything in from last episode apparently and he’s just really confused most of the time as Joey starts going off about himself in the third person to Yugi.
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And Seto decides to just watch? He doesn’t call for help, he doesn’t use his crazy amount of leverage, and he doesn’t do the smart thing which would be to run the hell away, he just kinda soaks this all in and has decided that he lives here now.
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So, Marik, who can do a lot of the dark magic stuff Pegasus and Bakura have showed us, decides to instead go old school and forgo magic for most of this fight (other than some possession of course.)
Like I said before, if you’re gonna write a villain, they gotta get in your hero’s head a bit. It’s villain 101. Should it ever go as far as a Yugioh villain on kid’s TV? I mean proooobably not necessary? But something this episode does is show that a villain does not need superpowers. All they need, is to test your hero’s greatest insecurities to the breaking point, which is something Marik does really well, and surprisingly a lot of shows I don’t need to mention, because I already have, don’t do. They kinda rely on “well he’s got evil powers, so he’s evil and they punch a lot” while not understanding that it was never the powers that gives a show that tension that villains bring.
Like, Yugioh does a lot of things wrong, but surprisingly, they know how to write a clearly evil villain who’s just overheard that Yugi’s big thing is this bond of friendship--which is really childish--but he goes with it anyway. So he makes this bizarre Joker-like card game scenario that is based on breaking those friendship connections. But leave it to Yugioh to have something really pure in theory but in practice turn into this screwball nightmare. Yugioh is kind of like a really simple chocolate cake but there’s a tire on it and it’s on fire.
I will say, it is odd that Seto got dragged here into the friendship battle, as he is the worst friend. So now he also gets to go through friend torture with some school mates he occasionally has class with. TBH, I don’t think Seto has even realized yet that he has also been 100% abducted since the moment he walked off that helicopter. Seto lives in a nice denial place.
So lets go over Marik’s Big Plan #7.
First, off you gotta put on these shackles, seen here:
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I feel like Shackles are this seasons Maze Labyrinth. I mean I guess Yugi’s shackled to his destiny? Or at least the destiny of the ghost he’s attached to? Anyway, so many shackles this season.
And then these shackles and chains are connected to Joey as well as this anchor we see here:
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What nice symbolism to illustrate that Yugi’s friendship will drag everyone he knows along with him--as it has for the past 2 seasons. Not really a big spoiler for everyone involved in this battle.
And then this was a thing Marik added just for kicks, which can be symbolic, too, but I don’t feel like diving into it:
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I actually never thought these two would actually cancel a game. Mokuba decided against blowing his whistle at it though, he decided it was probably too late for that. Aaaaaand it was:
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Yo, how do you sneak up on people with a 70 ft crane?
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Honestly I was surprised that Seto cared enough about Tea to not move, but I guess he couldn’t kill Tea in front of Mokuba. And I dunno, Seto and Tea never really talk to eachother, so I guess I’ve never noticed that he thinks she’s decent enough to continue existing. He might like her better than anyone else on this show other than Mokuba. And I’m not saying that to ship them, although I’m sure it’s a fine ship sailing around out there, I’m just saying that it is notable when Kaiba accepts that someone else besides a Kaiba deserves to live.
And then one last touch:
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I guess no one told Marik that Tea and Yugi aren’t actually dating? I mean how much would it suck to go on one date with a guy and then all of a sudden you’re dealing with all of his villains?
Accurate, actually, that is exactly how dating works. You go one date and then you casually run into him in an elevator and then all of a sudden he’s like “So my ex fiance took me to court over the engagement ring and it’s so unfair that I can’t get that money back when she’s gonna marry this other guy she’s only known for a month anyway.” and it’s like “You were engaged?”
But, for his credit, 2 weeks later I needed a date, called him up, and he was like “Sorry, I’m in the hospital because I got an ulcer removed because apparently there’s too much stress in my life pulling these allnighters for my classes, and my car died and it’s gonna cost 2k to fix it, and then my ex fiance visited me in the hospital which was hella weird because my Dad is here. Anyway I got a tube down my pee hole and it was the worst pain I’ve felt in my life including the ulcer they removed from my gut. But I dunno. When’s the date?” and I just assumed he was pranking me but turns out, the next day, my teacher confirmed the kid was in the hospital and as high as balls.
Anyway, Pharaoh isn’t the worst person in the world to date, I guess.
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It’s nice that Yugi was able to find all of his accessories in blue leather and silver rivets.
The duel begins, everyone cries, except for Tea who’s just screaming from the sidelines that Joey needs to remember how much he loves Yugi. She reminds him to think of the experiences they’ve shared and it was like oh boy maybe skip the part where you bullied Yugi to to hell and then he got cursed with a ghost that lives in his body.
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TBH, I feel like it would be bad to introduce Serenity to the fray? Like if I were Marik I’d be like “woah get Joey’s sister out of here, that’s gonna snap him out of it.” but it’s not like Marik gets the whole family love thing anyway, living with Ishizu.
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In case you were wondering, yes Mokuba actually tried to explain to Tea what was going on, so the show went over what the hell was going on I want to say like 3 times. Which is something you kinda have to do when you’ve turned your card game into Mousetrap.
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And so this is where the episode ended, and I was capping along and felt like this could be a two parter post for this weekend, so why not? Lets continue.
Ah, and it starts out with Marik on a boat.
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That boat gets mysteriously bigger and bigger every time it shows up. How many Rare Hunters are there? Like 10? And do they have to rent an apartment on this boat, like how does this all work? And if they do rent an apartment on the boat, who’s cooking? Like Marik, obviously is not a cook since he’s a living disaster, but I want to know more about boat life. Did Bandit Keith ever make them a crunchwrap supreme? Is one of the Rare Hunters always playing Wonderwall? Do they tan on the bow? Why would this boat ever need to be this big?
And I know this isn’t any of the Yugioh spinoff shows, but if I were to write one it would absolutely be Marik’s Boat Life. That would be the name.
Anyway, Yugi decides to fly over Pharaoh’s shoulder like a little angel. It’s been kind of a while.
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So like it’s foreshadowed pretty strongly that Yugi’s decided “why even bother, Pharaoh, we don’t need your card talent today. At least my life will end as I lived, short and very awkward”
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On the other side of town, Tristan has to go up a group of these Rare Hunters, and from everything we know about Tristan, this shouldn’t be so difficult? Like he punched out Bakura and threw Double Spike Mullet over his shoulder at one point, but unfortunately, punches don’t seem to work. But do you know what does?
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I completely forgot Duke Devlin was a character in this show. Surprised he’s not in this competition, but apparently his game he’s making alongside Pegasus is really panning out--which is kind of effed up because Pegasus is a murderer. But youknow...I guess that everyone in the show decided to overlook that?
Whatever, I spent an entire episode trying to understand that, lets get back to the friendship plot line. Yugi decided to play a card that lets Joey take a card from Yugi’s hand, which gives him an opportunity to show Joey’s dragon. But will Joey overcome Marik and take this very good card to use on Yugi? (bro just corrected me and told me this card is actually not good but wtv)
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He takes a different card. Friendship triumphs over...this card that I should know more about but I don’t watch the card games so I’m just gonna wing it here.
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And then Yugi plays it anyway, and the music swells and it’s meaningful again.
Because the Red Eyes is connected with his heart now. Not sure when that happened exactly but it apparently happened at some point.
Seriously, when did this happen? I ask a lot of questions rhetorically but feel free to answer that one. Did I miss something? S1 this card was just kinda there.
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Pharaoh, sensing that Yugi has very well lost his mind and will be absolutely hit by a fireball, decides to take over. Remember that the last time Yugi got hit with a fireball, he passed out pretty much before it hit him. And then he died. Yugi died last time a fireball hit him (I’m pretty sure that was a fireball in the Pegasus fight? It feels like years ago). Mind, that was a shadow duel, but apparently that doesn't matter this season because all the cards are real and no one cares that this is a very big problem.
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Pharaohs legs are either three times the size of his torso OR they’re wearing extremely high waisted pants. Both scenarios are good.
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And he gets hit in the face with a fireball.
And doesn’t pass out. Good for him. He is about 15% alive though, Yugi is basically going to die if he gets hit with another fireball. Like his lifepoints still say 1000 but it takes him like ten minutes to walk all the way around this pier and give Joey this:
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Luckily, Marik as Joey plays cards so slowly, that the ten minute walk was still shorter than a single turn in Yugioh.
Also this is a thing? Just anyone can put that on?
so this whole time anyone could have been wearing the ring to Mordor? Just anyone? OK then.
Anyway, next week, on Yugioh:
Does Marik have any lag on that superpower of his, because I feel like it would make this show make some more sense on his part? Did the mime just walk home? If they all did die this way--not saying the will or won’t because they’ve died so many times now, but if they DID--weirdest way to die, amiright?
And if you’ve stumbled onto this blog which is halfway through S2, let me direct you to this handy link, which gives you all the recaps in chronological order from S1
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