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damienthepious · 5 years

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yo pretend that it’s still fucking tuesday in my time zone. i only missed it by like fifteen minutes just be cool

Toss and Turn In Undertow

[ao3] [companion piece to Keep Your Head Above The Blue]

[Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast (Second Citadel)

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Anxiety, Panic Attacks

Summary: Sir Damien has a bit of a rough day. His flowers do their best to help.

Notes: Whoops, here I go projecting my mental health onto rad bouquet again! Sorry, Damien. Extra content warnings for some very… aggressively self-hating language. I will admit that this was at times unpleasant to write. Hope the stress is worth it <3<3 Name from a lyric in the song In Undertow, by Alvvays.]</small>

***

Sometimes the thrumming panic buries Damien. Sometimes, despite his best efforts, despite his prayers and the knowledge of a love buffeting him from two sides, he is consumed in the bleak, bitter echoes of his own mind. Mistakes in the past, mistakes he might make in the future, actions he should or should not have taken, opportunities he is missing and failures he is committing at this very moment, a thousand catastrophized possibilities of his own making-

Rilla knows the signs, even when Damien manages to keep from babbling his head off through the spiral. She knows the particular shallowness of his breathing and distance in his eyes when the worst parts of his mind take the reigns, knows how to take his hand and talk him down, or if the talking doesn’t work, how to sing and stroke his hair until his breathing comes easier, until he can hum along as well.

Arum is less practiced, but he’s almost better at recognizing when Damien is coming close to danger than Rilla is, which feels odd at first. Arum can hear his heartbeat from a short distance, and that is interesting for a number of unrelated reasons, but it also means that he can tell quickly if Damien is working himself up too fast. He also recognizes early on that he can’t just duel Damien every time he needs to pull him down from his dangerous highs of distress, though sparring is still enjoyable on occasion. The most effective method Arum lands on is to simply wrap all four arms and his tail around Damien, lift him into the air and squeeze. Just enough so that Damien can’t wriggle his way out, just enough so that the pressure feels- feels like something safe. That’s what makes it likely to work, Damien thinks. The physicality of it. An anchor in the world outside his own head, giving him no choice but to hang in the air and just breathe.

“I’m sorry,” he says, panting from the pressure and the panic and closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to see whatever expression of annoyance Arum might be wearing. “I am sorry I persist in- I am sorry to trouble you so.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Arum mutters, close by Damien’s ear. “No apologies.”

He is only saying that to assuage Damien’s feelings, certainly. Damien can feel Arum’s heart beating from this close, a slow, sweet drumbeat he does not feel worthy to hear. “I know that my weakness of the mind must be frustrating, Lord Arum; you need not honey over your words for my sake-”

Arum squeezes him tighter for a moment, his tail coiling behind him as a low ticking growl rises in his chest. “Are you accusing me of deceit, honeysuckle?”

“No, no I merely-”

“Then you should trust when I say you need not apologize.”

“I know,” Damien says, ducking his head. “I know.” He pauses, biting his lip. “Yet I worry that I have caused you some irritation, and if so you could not be blamed for feeling-”

The growl in Arum’s chest pitches lower and louder for a moment and then he adjusts his grip on Damien, swinging his legs up until he’s carrying him in a way Damien can only think of as bridal style, which is entirely unhelpful to the roiling confused mess of his thoughts as he squeaks in protest. “I’ve had quite enough of that,” Arum says roughly as he starts a quick walk. “Keep, open the way to Amaryllis’ home, if you would.”

The portal opens ahead of them and Arum doesn’t even need to break stride until they’re through to Rilla’s front room, the wide flowerpot in the corner behind them curling with the Keep’s vines for a moment or two longer before they recede back into the dirt.

“Lord Arum,” Damien says breathlessly, “I must insist-”

“Amaryllis, I require your assistance,” Arum interrupts flatly.

Rilla steps out from the kitchen with a confused look, then darts across the space to pull the curtains closed. “Saints, Arum, you have to have the Keep warn me before you come through-”

“The poet is being unreasonable and you know better than I how to deal with him.”

“Excuse me-”

“Oh,” Rilla says, brow furrowing sympathetically. “Hard day, Damien?”

“No, of course not my love, it is really not so large an issue as-”

“What must I do,” Arum interrupts again, some of his worry bleeding through the edges of his flat tone, “to convince him that he is not some burden that needs be begged pardon for?”

“Oof,” Rilla says, stepping closer. “Hey, if you figure that one out, make sure you tell me about it first, because I’ve been trying to get that through his thick knightly skull for years now and it doesn’t seem to want to stick.”

Damien writhes in Arum’s arms, anxiety on every line of his face. “I don’t- it isn’t as if- I never said-”

His words dry up and he stills again when Rilla reaches out to cup the back of his head in her hand, drawing her fingers through his hair. “Damien. It’s okay.”

The combination- Arum steady and surrounding him with his arms and chest, Rilla on the other side with her hands gentle upon him, it’s soothing and pleasant and loving and Damien doesn’t deserve any of it. He has been nothing but an annoyance to the both of them lately, with his chaotic mind and his fears, and he is sure, so sure that he is damaging this relationship merely by being a part of it.

“S-stop,” he gasps, “oh, tranquility oh please, please- please put me- put me down, I can’t-”

Arum blinks at him in surprise and immediately, gently reorients Damien’s legs beneath him and sets him down, brow furrowed. “I apologize, I did not intend-”

“Don’t- don’t apologize,” Damien says, shaking his head viciously as he stumbles back, out of range of their gentle hands. “I am the one who- who keeps doing this-”

“Damien,” Arum says, concerned and confused, and Damien flinches and takes another large step away, fisting his hands at the sides of his head.

“I don’t know how the both of you tolerate me,” Damien hisses through clenched teeth, the hard thud of his heart making his chest feel tight and close and horrifying. “You are both brilliant and brave and you fit together with such glorious ease, with familiarity and humor and I am l-little more than a leech, a drain of affection and attention, and when you look at me like that- like that, with such unearned compassion, I know that I have manipulated you into feeling so softly towards me with my persistent, pathetic, pitiful writhing-”

“You think so little of us, honeysuckle?” Arum says, his head ducked and his expression so openly raw that Damien has to close his eyes against it for a moment.

“No,” Rilla says gently, reaching out to grip Arum’s wrist. “No, it’s not like that. Damien, Damien you need to breathe, okay?”

Damien shakes his head, but he still sucks in a quick sharp breath automatically. “See? Don’t you see?” He laughs in a shuddering, wild sort of way. “Your comfort is- it shows the compassion and beauty of your heart, my flower, but it is a grace of which I am entirely undeserving-”

“Breathe,” she says again, and Damien stops to gasp. “You aren’t being fair to yourself, Damien. Even if any of that were true, I love you because of who you are and how we are together, not because of anything to do with deserving. That’s not how love works.”

Arum watches this exchange, wary eyes darting between the pair of them as Damien shakes his head in denial.

“But you deserve so much better than myself, you deserve each other, such luminous beings as you are, and you certainly deserve better than me-”

“I deserve to love who I love, Damien,” she interrupts, “and I love you. I deserve to have a say in this relationship, and I say that I love you. And I’m gonna keep saying it, Damien. I’m gonna say it again and again until you believe me. I love you.”

“Why?” Damien cries, swinging his fists down from his head, leaving his arms to shake at his sides as he gives Rilla a tearful, horrified look. “Why? Why would you possibly love me? You are the most brilliant person I have ever known, and I am little more than a miserable-”

“If I started rattling off a list of reasons why I love you right this instant, Damien – and I do have an actual list, by the way - I know for a fact that it would just freak you out more, with the state you’re in.” Rilla raises her hands at her sides in a helpless gesture. “I want to help you. It hurts to see you like this, but I don’t know what to do, or where to start if you won’t believe the things I say.”

“But the two of you- your minds are as quick and sharp as knives which sharpen each other, and all I can be to you is a distraction, a desperate whining thing aching at your heels for affection and comfort. My own mind cannot match yours, it is little more than a nest of nettles within which my demons rest between their campaigns to devour me-

“Enough of- stop that.” Arum shakes his head, his frill flared partway in distress. “I cannot stand- I cannot abide you speaking of yourself so cruelly.”

Damien squeezes his fists, nails digging into his palms. “You, Lord Arum, have- have even less reason to give me your affection. I was nearly your murderer again and again-”

“And I yours,” Arum barks. “Are we not past that? Have those mistakes not long since been forgiven?” He sneers, but the expression slips away too quickly to be believable. “Or have you been harboring a secret grudge against me for my actions?”

“Of- of course I haven’t,” Damien nearly yelps, shaking his head again.

“Arum,” Rilla warns, squeezing his wrist. “I don’t think-”

“If he believes that I would care less for him because of the mistakes that we both made,” Arum says, “how can I not draw the conclusion that he expects this because it is how he feels about me?”

“Because that reasoning requires some if-then style logic and Damien and logic aren’t even in the same room right now, Arum.”

Arum blinks, then glances at Damien, whose breaths are growing worryingly quick, whose body language is screaming danger as clearly as a blaring horn. Arum slips his hand down slightly, gripping the hand Rilla had wrapped around his wrist, and presses another hand over his own mouth. “Ah… have- have I made things worse?” he hisses low, eyes flicking between his humans again.

“Hard to say,” Rilla murmurs, but the wry tilt of her mouth says, it certainly didn’t help, and Arum winces.

“I-” Damien presses a hand hard against his collarbone, clenching the other tight at his side. “I know that this- that I am- that I am only making things worse, I know that, so I don’t understand why- why you- why you even want to keep me beside you-”

“Breathe,” Arum says at the same moment Rilla says the same, and she squeezes his hand as he continues, “honeysuckle, you are not thinking clearly.”

“I am thinking without sentimentality,” Damien snarls, “for once. The two of you- this relationship would be better without my presence stunting and frustrating and causing strife-”

“You think our relationship would be better without you?” Arum wrinkles his snout, stiffening in horror. “The balance we strike is the three of us together, honeysuckle. I fit between you, as you fit between us, as she fits between you and I. This relationship would not exist without you.”

“Wretched whining thing,” Damien mutters, apparently to himself. “See how you distress them? See the ills you cause?”

Rilla exhales, brow furrowed in worry, and Arum’s heart lurches for the both of them. He takes a shaky breath of his own and Damien continues to mutter abuse at himself, arms wrapped around his own chest in a parody of a hug.

“I love you,” Arum says at last, quietly, and Damien startles like a deer, going dead-still and looking at the monster with wide eyes.

This is not the first time Arum has said this, to Damien or to Rilla, but it is still new enough that it feels like something precious, something to be handled with care. Arum has so far reserved such words for moments of safety, moments in embrace, in the darkness of a shared bed and the warmth of their arms. So for him to offer them now, in the daylight, standing and facing Damien from across the whole distance of Rilla’s front room, after Damien himself has spoken in such wildness and despair-

“I love you, Damien,” Arum says again, just as soft, “and I will not allow you to push me- push us away out of an urge towards self-destruction.”

The words sink down through the churning mire of his mind, and Damien is incredibly aware, for one sharp, bright moment, of how spectacularly he had ruined this, of his own utter lack of control, of his inability to draw breath, and then tears overflow the corners of his eyes as the familiar and unwelcome headrush finally pushes him down, folding him into a childlike crouch as he presses his hands to the sides of his head with a choked-off moan, every single thought in his mind whiting out in an incomprehensible tangle of horror, strong as certain death.

Then, it’s over.

Damien is shaking, hollow and exhausted and wet-cheeked, but the overwhelming panic is spent and gone. He feels suspended in the empty calm for a long moment before he straightens up with a shuddering inhale, clumsily brushing his tears away.

“What…” Arum stares at Damien, worry rolling off of him in waves as he whispers to Rilla. “What was that?”

“Panic attack,” she says, matching his volume with a tense smile. “A pretty rough one, too, I think. C’mon.” She steps a little closer to Damien, then, pulling an alarmed Arum behind her by the hand. “Hey,” she says gently, still leaving a bit of space between the two of them and the knight, “you think the worst of it is past, now?”

Damien nods, still rubbing his face and not looking at either of them.

“Okay.” Her voice is steady, calm, and Arum thinks for what must be the thousandth time that she is the cleverest being he has ever known. “Are you okay for a hug? Or would that be too much just now?”

Damien presses a hand over his eyes, his lip curving miserably, and then he nods again and reaches his other hand towards them.

Rilla sags in relief and closes the gap, wrapping her arm around Damien’s shaking shoulder. She can’t kiss him with his hand covering his face like that, so she kisses the hand instead as he shudders against her. Arum doesn’t know what to do with himself despite Rilla pulling him close as well. When he picked Damien up last, it seemed to catalyze this- this attack, and now he’s frightened of making things worse again with his touch.

Rilla notices his hesitation, and her brow furrows for a moment before she moves, readjusting their positions. She gently spins Damien so he’s in front of her with her arms wrapped around his waist from behind, and she pulls Arum closer on the other side until Damien is pressed up against Arum’s chest, between the two of them. She gives Arum an encouraging smile over Damien’s head, and he tries to swallow his worry, wrapping two arms all the way around Amaryllis and slipping the other two between them to scratch softly down Damien’s back.

“Is this okay?” she says, barely louder than a whisper, and Damien nods a third time, bumping his forehead against Arum’s chest as his breaths slowly even out from their hitching, as the salt Arum can taste on the air subsides.

“I’m sorry, honeysuckle,” Arum says softly, tucking Damien’s head beneath his chin. “I should not have pushed you so when you were in distress.”

“No, it- it wasn’t your fault, it-” Damien finally drops his hand from his face so he can press his palms against Arum’s chest, as if he is gleaning stability from his physical presence alone. “These thoughts have been- haunting me as of late. They would have outed eventually, I’m sure.”

“Nevertheless. I should have been more gentle with you.”

“I know- I fear that my persistent worries are irritating, and then I become terrified of that irritation driving the both of you away, and then the worry over irritating you becomes an annoyance itself, and it recurses and recurses until it becomes an endlessly deep oubliette into which I am cast, and I cannot see either the way to climb out, or the bottom to which I must fall. And-” he sighs through a laugh, “and I know that it is happening, and I cannot seem to control my mind. Even when I know I am being unreasonable. I can know that, but I cannot make myself believe it, or make myself stop.”

“You’re feeling more rational now, though?” Rilla asks, and Damien laughs again.

“I am tranquil, at least, and as rational as I ever am, my love. Which, when compared to yourself-”

She squeezes her arms around him, nuzzling her face into the back of his neck. “Perfect. Then that means I can start the list.”

“The- the list?”

“You asked, Damien, so you can’t complain about this now. So! Reasons why I, Amaryllis of Exile, am deeply in love with Sir Damien the Pious, version siiiiiix- no, seventeen, revised edition, with additional contributions from Lord Arum.”

Arum laughs in surprise, and Amaryllis grins behind Damien as he goes stiff. Then the knight looks up at Arum in alarm, his cheeks already tinging dark.

“You did ask, honeysuckle,” Arum says through a smile, his fingers drifting in soothing circles across Damien’s back.

“I love you, Damien,” Rilla starts, “because you are the most sincerely compassionate person I’ve ever known. You’re patient, you’re thoughtful, and you’re selfless to a fault.”

She pauses, raising an eyebrow over Damien’s shoulder, and Arum realizes it’s his turn to offer his contributions. “You are… fiercely loyal,” he says, and he smiles when Damien buries his face in Arum’s chest rather than look him in the eye. He understands the urge; it is more difficult than he expected, to put words to all the facets of Damien that cleave together to make Arum’s heart swell and race while Damien is here to hear them directly. “You are spectacularly beautiful,” he says, and then he quickly continues before the teasing gleam in Rilla’s eyes can fluster him, “you are a warrior with such skill that you make your movements as effortless as a dance when you fight, and you are the cleverest wordsmith I’ve ever known.”

“Just a brilliant storyteller,” Rilla agrees warmly. “I didn’t even like poetry before I met you, you know. You can put words together like- like you know how they’re meant to go, and you do it with so much joy that it’s impossible not to get caught up in your stories.”

“I will deny this if ever I am asked, honeysuckle,” Arum murmurs, conspiratorial, “but your poetry is far and away superior to every scrap of monster poetry I have ever read.” Damien chokes on a laugh against Arum’s scales, and Arum can’t help but nuzzle close to his ear. “And your voice, honeysuckle- it rings like music. I love the sound of it. I love you.”

“You care so deeply,” Rilla continues, “and you try so hard at everything you do. I love you because you make me laugh, and I love you because you are so completely different from me. I love that you and I don’t see the world in the same way, and I love that being with you makes the world seem that much wider and richer because of that. I love that you’re so damn tenacious about everything you set your mind to, and I love how you-”

“Alright,” Damien cries, lips pursed to try to keep his embarrassed smile from growing out of control, “alright my flower I believe you have made your point abundantly clear-”

“You sure, Damien? Because we can keep going for as long as this takes.”

“Quite sure,” he says, and he slips his arms around Arum to hug him properly. “I would prefer to be finished with weeping for today, my loves, and if you continue I will not be able to control myself on that particular front. Tears of happiness, I’m afraid, are still tears.”

Arum tries not to noticeably react to the sound of Damien’s voice now that it sounds more like him, steady and lilting instead of desperate and sharp, but he’s unsure how well he manages to hide his relief.

They stand in embrace for a few long minutes, breathing slowly, with Rilla humming lightly against Damien’s shoulder.

“I… I am not so experienced in… relationships,” Arum says quietly, breaking the silence. “We are… we are still- you have not changed your mind,” he settles on, wincing. “About… about us, have you, honeysuckle?”

“No,” Damien says emphatically, squeezing his arms tighter around Arum’s midsection. “Saints no, absolutely not. You are- the both of you are the best part of my life. That is… part of why it is so hard for me to believe it can last. It feels too good to be true, at times.”

“Alright,” Arum breathes through his relieved sigh. “And… and you do know…” he huffs out a breath of discomfort. “You know that when I say… when we are speaking, and I say that you are foolish or ridiculous- you do know that I- that-”

“I know you do not mean it,” Damien murmurs into Arum’s steady chest, closing his eyes, the gentle scritch of Arum’s claws drifting up and down his back between him and Rilla’s steady heat. “Or- that you only mean them affectionately.”

“If I cross into cruelty, honeysuckle-”

“It is comforting, actually,” Damien says, and Arum can feel the curve of his smile against his scales, “when you are willing to tease me. It is better that way, than if you treated me always as if I were fragile. It feels more honest. It’s easier to make myself believe you, that way.” He laughs, very slightly. “And, if you ever did overstep, I am certain our Rilla would make you aware of your mistake before I would even have the chance.”

“Yep,” Rilla agrees from behind the knight, looking at Arum over his shoulder with sharp, steady eyes. “No worries there.”

Arum, surprisingly, does feel less worried at that. “Good. Would you step back for me, Amaryllis?”

Rilla raises an eyebrow, but she does as he asks. Damien gives a look of confusion for only a moment before Arum’s hands all move in concert to lift him back up into Arum’s arms, just as he had been before.

“There,” he says, satisfied. “You are quite easy to carry, honeysuckle.”

“Of course it’s easy for you,” Rilla says. “You have extra arms to work with.”

“You will find that I am simply stronger than you soft mammals,” he says, preening, and then he glances down towards Damien, checking his expression carefully. “If you don’t mind terribly, little knight, I believe I enjoy having you in my clutches.”

Damien is breathless, face flushed, but the tension from earlier is nowhere to be seen. He lifts an arm to curl around Arum’s shoulder, readjusting in the lizard’s grip to make himself more comfortable. “If- if you insist, Lord Arum,” he says primly. “If you are sure I shall not strain you-”

“Don’t make me laugh. You weigh about as much as you would if you were truly made of flowers.” He grins at the knight, but the eye contact drags out until something earnest slips into his expression. “I could never tire of having you in my arms, honeysuckle.”

“Oh, stoppit,” Rilla complains, swatting a hand through the air. “Stop being so damn cute. You’re making me want to play hooky and I have tons of work to do. Get back to the Keep already and stop teasing me.”

“Of course, Amaryllis,” Arum says, bending in a mock bow and smirking as Damien laughs in his arms at the swooping motion. “A thousand apologies. Keep?”

Rilla scowls, eyes sparkling as the portal opens. “Oh, wait- before you leave.” She comes closer, and presses something into Damien’s hand with a sly smile and Arum gives a pleased rattling laugh when he recognizes it.

“What- wait, your recorder?” He furrows his brow, puzzled, and then tilts his head at her. “Why?”

“It’s more of a player than a recorder, actually, but it’s what’s on it I want you to hang on to for me, okay?”

He blinks, then brushes his thumb over the play button but does not push. “What is it, love?”

“Yes,” Arum says smugly above him, and Rilla laughs.

“Arum and I have been working on this for a little while. Something for you to play when we aren’t around to do what we just did, or for when you’re feeling anxious about bothering us but you still need a bit of a boost.”

“It is why our list was so well prepared,” Arum adds.

Damien presses his thumb down, and Rilla’s voice chimes from the device.

Damien comfort log, version sixte-

It is not a log, Amaryllis, this is why we keep needing to start over-

Shush. Fine. List of ways Sir Damien has charmed the literal pants off of both of us, is that better for you?

There is a short hissing rattle that devolves into a laugh.

Yes, actually. That is much better.

If you wanna go totally informal we can do that too, Arum. So, Damien, we both love you pretty ridiculously and we know you get in your own head about it sometimes, so we thought it might help if you had something permanent that you could pull out when you’re feeling unsteady, you know?

Amaryllis insisted I write out notes beforehand, if you care to know how seriously she took this, honeysuckle.

Notes are useful. They reminded me just now to start with this- Damien, you are the most sincerely compassionate person that I’ve ever known, you are patient, you-

Damien firmly presses the stop button, his eyes shining, and Rilla shrugs. “I started with the same one earlier because I kind of memorized the notes I made for this. I just- we thought this could help, maybe.”

“It’s lovely,” Damien says, swiping at his eyes as Rilla and Arum politely pretend not to notice. “I am- I am not used to receiving the gift of words, oh Saint Damien above, my loves are so full of surprises-”

The Keep sings through the portal, its voice mingling exasperation, confusion, and fondness, and Arum starts slightly, having forgotten that he had already opened the way. “Ah. Apologies, Keep. Will we- see you tonight, Amaryllis?”

“If the experiment goes really well or really poorly I should be done before nine, otherwise midnight at the latest, I think,” she says with a shrug, and then she comes close enough to give each of them a kiss on the cheek. “Behave until then, okay?”

Arum rolls his eyes through a grin, and Damien squeezes Rilla’s hand for an extra moment and kisses her knuckles before he releases her.

“Thank you, both of you, for-” Damien clutches the device, clutches his other arm tighter around Arum’s shoulder. “Just- thank you.”

“Would you believe that we have rendered the little poet near-speechless, Amaryllis?” Arum says, nudging his nose into Damien’s cheek in an almost-kiss. “Impressive work, love.”

She grins, then lightly pushes the monster towards the portal. “Go home already, will you? It’s rude to leave the Keep waiting like that.”

Arum grins wider. “Until tonight,” he says, and then he steps back through to his home.

Damien’s nerves try to rally against him again when Rilla is no longer with them, but the reality of Arum’s textured scales against his own skin anchors him to reality, and the weight of Rilla and Arum’s gift in his hand feels talismanic, magical. He sighs, letting his head sink to rest against the crook of Arum’s neck, and he feels the lizard laugh gently.

True to his word, Arum does not tire of Damien’s weight in his arms. Arum does not tire of him even as Damien himself tires, eyelids sinking under the weight of his exhausting day, nor even as Damien succumbs entirely to sleep, with his cheek against Arum’s shoulder.

He does not even tire of him in the in-between, and when Damien wakes again he is still carefully entwined in Arum’s arms, safe and beloved in their shared bed.

#the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #sir damien #lord arum #amaryllis of exile #a;lkdjfaldkfj this one was a beast to write #i am anxious about it if i'm being perfectly honest #but i have work in the morning so it's kind of a hold-breath-hit-post-go-SLEEP kind of night #<3<3 #elle's fanfic #things will be better

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johnjankovic · 4 years

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MJÖLNIR

When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—and to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God’s people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them.

Revelation 20:7-9

Christendom inspired by the Son from Galilee who tramped about on roads and fields to lift the masses endures as the seedbed for modern civilization. The paradox of this faith from classical antiquity which is the progenitor of the West is how the lot of Jesus made Pontius Pilate who condemned Him a slave rather than a viceroy and vice versa — sacrifice being greater than the power to kill. Such an anomaly in the lore of the time belied what was then the prototype of polytheism like the many paeans to Zeus who chained Prometheus for gifting fire to mankind or effigies of Jupiter who led men to a premature end for their hubris. If in some hypothetical these same gods were racked by agony in the throes of martyrdom would their folklore be the definition of blasphemy thus pagans from Roman stock took umbrage at Christians whose exegesis of life begged the question: How are the bedfellows of pain and suffering any index of power? The answer to this enigma would be nestled nowhere else but in the cradle of a new religion still in its infancy: For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through Him (3:17).

Crucifixion so scandalized Romans and Jews that its minutia survives in a single eye-witness account as discrete from the New Testament’s Synoptics. Harrowing details anathema to civilized company would have otherwise stayed a black-box left to oblivion had they not been recorded for posterity. Because of the sadism endemic in these processions were they hence confined to wastelands beyond city walls away from polite society. Even Christians alive in the Middle Ages when freighted with the gravity of such a death practiced discretion as they were loth to recreate its gore on pictograms until the advent of the Renaissance when a more sober account was elected. The Son hanging limp on a hill so became the cynosure of our faith whose gesture of a cross was ritualized by practitioners in prayer. Even pariahs orphaned by society were keen on finding solace in Jesus who died so others may live. At the crown of Golgotha would ultimately be where the most binding of covenants between Father and Man was wrought to reveal the very kernel of existence for creation: God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him ([1] 4:16).

This pearl of wisdom in search for meaning answered the many secrets sought by philosophers over aeons. Sitting cross-legged in meditation with the ambiance of singing bowls and the incantation of hums is no substitute. Pain purveys perspective and the rarest relic of love is a tonic to buck up the souls prostrate with hurt: The love of Father who coos in your ear to carry on is nirvana; The fraternal love from a phalanx of young sappers at the Somme in a hellfire of lead is nirvana; The love of the Son whose lungs were collapsed by Man’s schadenfreude as a billboard for gawkers is nirvana. Love of this kind is a balm for those bloodied by the ranks of evil amidst a war of attrition between heaven and hell since Original Sin. Each event sources its inspiration from a common well of how ‘there is power in the blood’. The debt borne by Jesus in a semiotic way thereby comes to epitomize something like ironclad armour in the lives of ordinary Christians. Over a series of seasons and cycles between birth and decay have the faithful mounted great feats and forays into the unknown for the betterment of their brethren with the same pugnacity seen atop Golgotha.

It is this pledge of service to others which subverts the narcissism of so many creeds that was itself a fillip to the flourishing of the West. Self-denial by abstaining from life’s wish-list would be roundly mocked by outsiders as meek but it was a gateway to humanity’s most productive years in the spectrum of existence. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (15:13). A stoic lives under this cardinal rule not for reward but rather to honour the love inherited from Jesus which passes down from one generation to the next like an heirloom until a scion comes of age to assume its burden. Why burden? To love thine enemy who is beneath contempt as he rams a spike into your wrist summons a crie de coeur for a species of strength alien to this world. And yet at this very juncture do all the stars align to jolt the sinner from his stupor in breaking free from Satan’s seduction akin to Paul the Apostle who killed scores of Christians before his own conversion. The said burden therefore is knowing evil can only be defeated by the blood of a peacemaker however masochistic it may sound to the layman.

What eventuates is a schizophrenic split allowing for one’s conscience to take stock of its wayward ways long enough to defect from a history of wrongs. The primer to this epiphany is the ugly deed itself which in the universe of celluloid compares to sunlight upon the cursed who wilt in its path. Much like popular culture’s caricature du jour of dualism does the reality of being born again manifest likewise in the renewal of a soul. The introspection breaks the spell just enough to restore agency in knowing right from wrong. So the war between good and evil is carried about in the open as much as it is waged inside of you. Each person in her own right decides who she wants to be whether good or bad though the pity is most opt for vice rather than be an instrument for what is holy. Why? The road is a solitary one. Being good is heresy when the greater part of the world indulges in those acts and lies indigenous to Babylon. Being a persona non grata becomes a birthmark as the rest shun you for your ethics. So the path we plod is not one for the faint of heart neither is it for the weak of mind.

Christendom is inherently contrarian and has been since its formative years. Christians themselves are birds of a different feather who spurn the world’s rehashed idolatry which sycophants are so eager to adopt in earnest. Those cut from our cloth knowing the real world stakes do not shirk from the truth that like Jesus who fell at the behest of sin does this dynamic survive to this day in the highest reaches of power to the lowest alleys of pimps. By analogy we can do more than merely read the hours and minutes of a timepiece — we are the watchmakers. The esoteric wisdom therefrom beseeches us to see the world for what it truly is: a pockmarked battlefield laid to waste by two camps. Scarce few bother to stray from the smoke and mirrors of everyday monotony but behind them are forces aligned to different stripes in service to separate causes. A firefighter who barrels into an inferno to save a pregnant wife versus a rapist who sets his victim afire are a microcosm for the humanity and lack thereof on this earth. Love and hate are the root of Man’s checkered history and Christians are shrewd enough to be skeptical of any authority he purports to dispense.

#Father #Son

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officialyourdailyinspiration · 5 years

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Sensuality and Repentance

by John Jackson

"Lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears." - Hebrews 12:16-17

We are not led by this history to treat of the efficacy of a death-bed repentance; it is the probability of death-bed repentance. There is no doubt that true penitence will obtain mercy at the last hour; [but] there is great doubt how far sorrow at the last hour is true penitence. We have every assurance that God will give pardon even to the latest repentance; but we have no assurance that He will give repentance to those who for a lifetime have refused to repent.

We are thus led nearer to the true lesson of the history before us, and a very solemn one it is -- that the tendency of sensuality indulged is to bring a late remorse, but to prevent a timely penitence; to cause suffering, perhaps, but not contrition; the sorrow of the world that works death, not godly sorrow which works repentance to salvation. There is not a word to show that, keenly though he felt his disappointment, Esau had any sense of his sin. It was his lost blessing which afflicted him, not his faithless self-indulgence. There was no Godward prayer for pardon in all that "great and exceeding bitter cry." The fruits show this. His sorrow inflamed him to hatred, and hatred gave him the heart of a murderer. His sin and its punishment alike led him further from God. "He found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears."

It will of course be necessary, as we pursue our subject, to bear in mind the distinction thus exemplified between "the sorrow of the world which works death, and godly sorrow which works repentance to salvation." The one sorrow [is] for sin's consequences, the other sorrow for sin's guilt; the one for having injured ourselves, the other for having offended God; the one for the disgrace, the worldly loss, the enfeebled body or the unquiet mind, the other for the loss of God's favor and the sense of alienation from Him; the one dreading His punishment, the other longing for the restoration of His love; the one satisfied with impunity, the other thirsting for holiness; the one barren in all but feeble resolutions, the other working a thorough change of the inner and outer life; the one the natural product of the unregenerate heart, the other the gift of God by the operation of the Holy Spirit; the one the remorse of Esau and of Judas, the other the repentance of David and of Peter.

Now the proposition before us is that the former of these, an ineffectual remorse, is the natural tendency of sensuality indulged, which at the same time tends to prevent the latter, a timely repentance unto salvation. And here first (for practical lessons require and justify plain words) let us clearly understand what we mean by sensuality. We mean, of course, the yielding to the grosser sins of the flesh, whether dared openly or indulged in secret -- adultery, fornication, and lasciviousness; intemperance and gluttonous excess, whether encouraged and, as the world thinks, excused by the genial license of society, or admitted, half-ashamed, in guilty solitude. We mean also the same sins transacted mentally in the chambers of the imagination, even though lack of opportunity, or shame, or timidity, or even some better motive, have restrained from the outward act. But we must include, besides, both those more reputable forms of self-indulgence which, stopping short of the excess which tarnishes character or injures health, are yet a daily slavery to appetite -- a habitual submission of the spirit to the flesh, and that negative self-indulgence which, resigned to what is thought innocent ease, never makes a sacrifice for another's sake or God's and will not be roused to an effort even for what is great and good. In all these cases, though in different degrees and with different shades of guilt, sensuality is the opposite to self-denial, and consequently to the following of Jesus and the service of God.

Now the soul knows this. The most reckless knows that intemperance and impurity outrage God's law. The most tranquil and respectable lover of self feels, at least at times, that he is living below the better instincts of his own being and at variance with the requirements of the Gospel. And hence, the first fatal effect of sensuality indulged is the overlaying and stifling conscience. Sometimes this is done with a strong hand, and the headlong sinner thrusts the monitor by as he rushes to indulgence. Sometimes it is effected more slowly, perhaps, but not less surely by the special pleading of a will determined to disobey. The sad consequence slowly, perhaps, but surely follows. The disregarded voice within is heard more rarely and feebly. The sense of evil is dulled and blunted. What shocked at first shocks no longer. It is endured, loved, craved after. The seared conscience grows callous to the touch of impurity, and its sensitive shrinkings and keen stings are felt no more to prompt the beginnings or to aid the struggles of repentance to salvation.

Together with this process is going on another no less perilous -- the gradual strengthening of the passions and appetites. This is a fact of common experience. This wretched bondage is the tendency of each single act of unlawful self-indulgence, which drives another rivet into habit's chain and feeds the imperceptible but certain growth of a gigantic power of evil. And it is a tendency, be it observed, arising not merely from the laws of mind, which we are apt to think are easily modified by the will, but from the laws of matter also, which we cannot alter however much we can employ them. Those appetites which have the body for their instrument affect the body by their indulgence. They foster morbid cravings for gratification, terrible sometimes in their painfulness and power. And these no effort of will, no resolutions even of the sincerest, sharpest penitence, can eradicate or allay. They may be loathed, struggled with, by God's grace denied and mortified; but there they are the sad consequences of the guilty past to tempt, to torment, and to add a hundredfold to the difficulty, and therefore to the improbability, of a real repentance.

It is a kindred consequence of sensuality indulged, that it fills the mind with reminiscences and thoughts of evil. Hence it is that sights and sounds and thoughts -- circumstances in themselves the most trivial and irrelevant -- have become associated in the sinner's mind with images of impurity and recollections of unlawful pleasure. A fearful engine for ill, brethren, in the hands of our spiritual foe, are these suggestions of the guilty past. To the impenitent they are ever-recurring monitors of ill and ministers of temptation, blighting the growth of better thoughts and withering the very life of prayer; polluting the soul with their presence while they debilitate its perception of sin, and unfit and enfeeble it for repentance.

Together with these results of sensuality indulged, and partly in consequence of them, is the gradual deadening of the soul to the perception of spiritual things. The first sins bring often their immediate and severe punishment -- God is felt to be displeased, and His face to be turned away; and the polluted soul is steeped in an agony of shame, and even entreats in an agony of prayer. It is well if it is so, that prayer may be the turning-point of present, or the seed of future, repentance. But often the stricken soul sullenly turns away from God. At any rate, the sin repeated takes off the edge of the shame and enfeebles the earnestness of the prayer.

But the great and solemn truth which underlies all this, and of which the effects of sensuality at which we have glanced are the outward manifestations, is this: that the Holy Spirit will not abide with the sensual and self-indulgent. "If any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His." "If ye live after the flesh, ye shall die; but if ye, through the Spirit, do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live." If the sin is indulged either in act or imagination, and the sensual habit forms and gathers strength, the Spirit, resisted and grieved, will not always strive. Its voice is heard less often, its light burns dimmer. Such therefore, brethren, is the tendency of sensuality indulged -- to beget a late remorse but to prevent a timely penitence. There are degrees, doubtless, in its consequences as there are degrees in its guilt; but in all cases they are sufficiently sad.

O how much happier, even in this life, is the path of timely self-denial, the taking up the cross to follow Christ! He too has a yoke, no doubt, and a burden; but "His yoke is easy and His burden is light." But if any hear me to whom such words seem to come too late, who have the stain on their soul and feel the chain of habit round them, what shall I say to you? That there is no "place of repentance" for you? God forbid! There is "a fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness," and you, even you, may wash and be clean.

#John Jackson #Sensuality and Repentance #Hebrews 12:16-17 #purity #cleanliness #fornication #impurity #filth #following Christ #denying the flesh

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anastpaul · 6 years

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Open House… Conversations with … St Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort (1673-1716)

On The Memorial of St Simón de Rojas O.SS. (1552-1624) known as “Father Ave Maria” and the “Apostle of the Ave Maria”, we learn a little from St Louis.

How do I find the Grace of God?

TO FIND THE GRACE OF GOD, WE MUST DISCOVER MARY (Excerpt from The Secret of Mary by St Louis Marie de Montfort)

The difficulty, then, is how to arrive at the true knowledge of the most holy Virgin and so find grace in abundance through her. God, as the absolute Master, can give directly Hhat he ordinarily dispenses only through Mary and it would be rash to deny that He sometimes does so. However, St Thomas assures us that, following the order established by His divine Wisdom, God ordinarily imparts His graces to men through Mary . Therefore, if we wish to go to Him, seeking union with Him, we must use the same means which He used in coming down from heaven to assume our human nature and to impart His graces to us. That means was a complete dependence on Mary His Mother, which is true devotion to her.

28. Chosen soul, this devotion consists in surrendering oneself in the manner of a slave to Mary and to Jesus through her and then performing all our actions with Mary, in Mary, through Mary and for Mary. Let me explain this statement further.

29. We should choose a special feast day on which to give ourselves. Then, willingly and lovingly and under no constraint, we consecrate and sacrifice to her unreservedly our body and soul. We give to her our material possessions, such as house, family, income, and even the inner possessions of our soul, namely, our merits, graces, virtues and atonements. Notice that in this devotion we sacrifice to Jesus through Mary all that is most dear to us, that is, the right to dispose of ourselves, of the value of our prayers and alms, of our acts of self- denial and atonements. This is a sacrifice which no religious order would require of its members. We leave everything to the free disposal of our Lady, for her to use as she wills for the greater glory of God, of which she alone is perfectly aware.

30. We leave to her the right to dispose of all the satisfactory and prayer value of our good deeds, so that, after having done so and without going so far as making a vow, we cease to be master over any good we do. Our Lady may use our good deeds either to bring relief or deliverance to a soul in purgatory, or perhaps to bring a change of heart to a poor sinner.

31. By this devotion we place our merits in the hands of our Lady but only that she may preserve, increase and embellish them, since merit for increase of grace and glory cannot be handed over to any other person. But we give to her all our prayers and good works, inasmuch as they have intercessory and atonement value, for her to distribute and apply to whom she pleases. If, after having thus consecrated ourselves to our Lady, we wish to help a soul in purgatory, rescue a sinner, or assist a friend by a prayer, an alms, an act of self-denial or an act of self-sacrifice, we must humbly request it of our Lady, abiding always by her decision, which of course remains unknown to us. We can be fully convinced that the value of our actions, being dispensed by that same hand which God himself uses to distribute His gifts and graces to us, cannot fail to be applied for His greatest glory.

Act of Consecration to Mary By St Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort (1673-1716)

I, N…., a faithless sinner- renew and ratify today in thy hands, Immaculate Mother, the vows of my Baptism; I renounce forever Satan, his pomps and works, and I give myself entirely to Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Wisdom, to carry my cross after Him all the days of my life and to be more faithful to Him than I have ever been before. In the presence of all the heavenly court, I choose thee this day, for my Mother and Mistress. I deliver and consecrate to thee, as thy slave, my body and soul, my goods, both interior and exterior and even the value of all my good actions, past, present and future, leaving to thee the entire and full right of disposing of me and all that belongs to me, without exception, according to thy good pleasure, for the greater glory of God, in time and in eternity. Amen

“One cannot contemplate Mary without being attracted by Christ and one cannot look at Christ without immediately perceiving the presence of Mary.”

Pope Benedict XVI

“Those who would receive Christ and bring Him forth must become like her . . . her soul was virginal, so well cut loose from everything of earth, so humble before God, that He could wholly fill her.”

(D Aemiliana Löhr, The Mass Through the Year)

(via Open House... Conversations with ... St Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort (1673-1716))

#mypics #mypic #actofconsecrationtomarystlouisdemontfort #consecrationtomary #openhouseconversationswithstlouisdemontfort #september28conversationswith #popebenedict #catholic #catholicism

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woodlandsangha · 2 years

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The Powerful Prayer of Aspiration From the Tantra of the Great Perfection that Reveals the All-Penetrating Wisdom Mind of Samantabhadra revealed by Rigdzin Gödem ཧོ༔ སྣང་སྲིད་འཁོར་འདས་ཐམས་ཅད་ཀུན༔ ho, nangsi khordé tamché kün Ho! All that appears and exists, saṃsāra and nirvāṇa, གཞི་གཅིག་ལམ་གཉིས་འབྲས་བུ་གཉིས༔ shyi chik lam nyi drebu nyi Has one ground, two paths and two forms of fruition, རིག་དང་མ་རིག་ཆོ་འཕྲུལ་ཏེ༔ rik dang marik chotrul té The magical displays of awareness and unawareness. ཀུན་ཏུ་བཟང་པོའི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ kuntuzangpö mönlam gyi Through this, Samantabhadra’s prayer of aspiration, ཐམས་ཅད་ཆོས་དབྱིངས་ཕོ་བྲང་དུ༔ tamché chöying podrang du May all attain complete and perfect awakening མངོན་པར་རྫོགས་ཏེ་འཚང་རྒྱ་ཤོག༔ ngönpar dzok té tsang gya shok Within the palace of dharmadhātu, the absolute sphere. ཀུན་གྱི་གཞི་ནི་འདུས་མ་བྱས༔ kün gyi shyi ni dümajé The basis of everything is uncompounded, རང་བྱུང་ཀློང་ཡངས་བརྗོད་དུ་མེད༔ rangjung long yang jö du mé A self-originating expanse, vast and inexpressible, འཁོར་འདས་གཉིས་ཀའི་མིང་མེད་དོ༔ khordé nyiké ming mé do Beyond the names ‘saṃsāra’ and ‘nirvāṇa’. དེ་ཉིད་རིག་ན་སངས་རྒྱས་ཏེ༔ denyi rik na sangye té This itself, when seen, is awakening. མ་རིག་སེམས་ཅན་འཁོར་བར་འཁྱམས༔ marik semchen khorwar khyam But in their ignorance beings wander in saṃsāra. ཁམས་གསུམ་སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་ཀྱིས༔ kham sum semchen tamché kyi May all sentient beings throughout the three realms བརྗོད་མེད་གཞི་དོན་རིག་པར་ཤོག༔ jömé shyi dön rikpar shok Realise the meaning of the ineffable ground! ཀུན་ཏུ་བཟང་པོ་ང་ཡིས་ཀྱང་༔ kuntuzangpo nga yi kyang I, Samantabhadra, know the ground’s reality, རྒྱུ་རྐྱེན་མེད་པ་གཞི་ཡི་དོན༔ gyukyen mepa shyi yi dön Which is without cause or condition; དེ་ཉིད་གཞི་ལ་རང་བྱུང་རིག༔ denyi shyi la rangjung rik It originates by itself within this very ground, ཕྱི་ནང་སྒྲོ་སྐུར་སྐྱོན་མ་བཏགས༔ chinang drokur kyön matak Is unspoilt by perspective,1 supposition or denial, དྲན་མེད་མུན་པའི་སྒྲིབ་མ་གོས༔ drenmé münpé drib ma gö And unobscured by the darkness of unmindful delusion. དེ་ཕྱིར་རང་སྣང་སྐྱོན་མ་གོས༔ dechir rangnang kyön magö That which is self-manifest is thus without fault. རང་རིག་སོ་ལ་གནས་པ་ལ༔ rangrig so la nepa la When abiding in genuine intrinsic awareness, སྲིད་གསུམ་འཇིག་ཀྱང་དངངས་སྐྲག་མེད༔ si sum jik kyang ngang trakmé There is no fear, even at the triple world’s demise.2 འདོད་ཡོན་ལྔ་ལ་ཆགས་པ་མེད༔ döyön nga la chakpamé Nor is there attachment to the five sensory delights. རྟོག་མེད་ཤེས་པ་རང་བྱུང་ལ༔ tokmé shepa rangjung la In self-originating awareness free of concepts, རྡོས་པའི་གཟུགས་དང་དུག་ལྔ་མེད༔ döpé zuk dang duk nga mé There is neither solid form nor the five poisons.3 རིག་པའི་གསལ་ཆ་མ་འགགས་པ༔ rigpé salcha magakpa The unobstructed clarity of awareness ངོ་བོ་གཅིག་ལ་ཡེ་ཤེས་ལྔ༔ ngowo chik la yeshe nga Is one in essence and fivefold in wisdom. ཡེ་ཤེས་ལྔ་པོ་སྨིན་པ་ལས༔ yeshe ngapo minpa lé Through the ripening of the five wisdoms, ཐོག་མའི་སངས་རྒྱས་རིགས་ལྔ་བྱུང༔ tokmé sangye rik nga jung The five original buddha families arise. དེ་ལས་ཡེ་ཤེས་མཐའ་རྒྱས་པས༔ dé lé yeshe ta gyepé And through wisdom’s further expansion སངས་རྒྱས་བཞི་བཅུ་རྩ་གཉིས་བྱུང་༔ sangye shyibchu tsanyi jung The forty-two peaceful buddhas emerge.4 ཡེ་ཤེས་ལྔ་ཡི་རྩལ་ཤར་བས༔ yeshe nga yi tsal sharwé With the upsurge of fivefold wisdom’s power, ཁྲག་འཐུང་དྲུག་ཅུ་ཐམ་པ་བྱུང་༔ traktung drukchu tampa jung The sixty blood-drinking herukas appear. དེ་ཕྱིར་གཞི་རིག་འཁྲུལ་མ་མྱོང་༔ dechir shyi rik trul manyong Thus, ground awareness has never known delusion. ཐོག་མའི་སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡིན་པས༔ tokmé sangye nga yinpé I am the primordial buddha and therefore ང་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་བཏབ་པ་ཡིས༔ nga yi mönlam tabpa yi Through this, my prayer of aspiration, ཁམས་གསུམ་འཁོར་བའི་སེམས་ཅན་གྱིས༔ kham sum khorwé semchen gyi May beings of saṃsāra’s three realms རང་བྱུང་རིག་པ་ངོ་ཤེས་ནས༔ rangjung rigpa ngoshé né Recognise self-originating awareness, ཡེ་ཤེས་ཆེན་པོ་མཐའ་རྒྱས་ཤོག༔ yeshe chenpo ta gyé shok So that vast wisdom may be perfected. ང་ཡི་སྤྲུལ་པ་རྒྱུན་མི་ཆད༔ ngayi trulpa gyün miché Continuously my emanations will appear བྱེ་བ་ཕྲག་བརྒྱ་བསམ་ཡས་འགྱེད༔ jewa trak gya samyé gyé In their many billions, beyond imagining, གང་ལ་གང་འདུལ་སྣ་ཚོགས་སྟོན༔ gangla gang dul natsok tön Manifest in varied ways according to need. ང་ཡི་ཐུགས་རྗེའི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ nga yi tukjé mönlam gyi Through this, my compassionate aspiration, ཁམས་གསུམ་འཁོར་བའི་སེམས་ཅན་ཀུན༔ kham sum khorwé semchen kün May all the beings of saṃsāra’s three realms རིགས་དྲུག་གནས་ནས་འཐོན་པར་ཤོག༔ rik druk né né tönpar shok Escape their plight among the six classes. དང་པོ་སེམས་ཅན་འཁྲུལ་པ་རྣམས༔ dangpo semchen trulpa nam From the very first, since awareness does not dawn གཞི་ལ་རིག་པ་མ་ཤར་བས༔ shyi la rigpa masharwé For deluded beings within the ground, ཅི་ཡང་དྲན་མེད་ཐོམ་མེ་བ༔ chiyang drenmé tomme wa They are entirely mindless and confused. དེ་ཀ་མ་རིག་འཁྲུལ་པའི་རྒྱུ༔ deka marik trulpé gyu This itself is unawareness, delusion’s cause. དེ་ལ་ཧད་ཀྱིས་བརྒྱལ་བ་ལས༔ dé la hé kyi gyalwa lé And then, as if out of a sudden daze, དངངས་སྐྲག་ཤེས་པ་ཟ་ཟི་འགྱུས༔ ngang trak shepa za zi gyü There is anxiety and mental disquiet, དེ་ལས་བདག་གཞན་དགྲར་འཛིན་སྐྱེས༔ dé lé dakshyen drar dzin kyé From which notions of self and other and enmity appear. བག་ཆགས་རིམ་བཞིན་བརྟས་པ་ལས༔ bakchak rimshyin tepa lé As this habitual tendency is then reinforced, འཁོར་བ་ལུགས་སུ་འཇུག་པ་བྱུང་༔ khorwa luk su jukpa jung Saṃsāra unfolds in its regular progression. དེ་ལས་ཉོན་མོངས་དུག་ལྔ་རྒྱས༔ dé lé nyönmong duk nga gyé Thus, mind’s afflictions, the five poisons, develop, དུག་ལྔའི་ལས་ལ་རྒྱུན་ཆད་མེད༔ duk ngé lé la gyün chemé And actions born of these five poisons never end. དེ་ཕྱིར་སེམས་ཅན་འཁྲུལ་པའི་གཞི༔ dechir semchen trulpé shyi Therefore, since the basis for beings’ delusion དྲན་མེད་མ་རིག་ཡིན་པའི་ཕྱིར༔ drenmé marik yinpé chir Is a lack of mindfulness, an absence of awareness, སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ sangye nga yi mönlam gyi Through this, my aspiration as a buddha, ཀུན་གྱི་རིག་པ་རང་ཤེས་ཤོག༔ kün gyi rigpa rang shé shok May all beings recognise their own awareness. ལྷན་ཅིག་སྐྱེས་པའི་མ་རིག་པ༔ lhenchik kyepé marikpa The unawareness that is co-emergent ཤེས་པ་དྲན་མེད་ཡེངས་པ་ཡིན༔ shepa drenmé yengpa yin Is a state of mindlessness, distraction. ཀུན་ཏུ་བཏགས་པའི་མ་རིག་པ༔ küntu takpé marikpa The unawareness that designates བདག་གཞན་གཉིས་སུ་འཛིན་པ་ཡིན༔ dakshyen nyisu dzinpa yin Is dualistic clinging to self and other. ལྷན་ཅིག་ཀུན་བཏགས་མ་རིག་གཉིས༔ lhenchik küntak marik nyi These two, co-emergent and designating unawareness, སེམས་ཅན་ཀུན་གྱི་འཁྲུལ་གཞི་ཡིན༔ semchen kün gyi trul shyi yin Provide the basis for the delusion of all beings. སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ sangye nga yi mönlam gyi Now through this, my aspiration as a buddha, འཁོར་བའི་སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་ཀྱི༔ khorwé semchen tamché kyi May the dark and murky gloom of mindlessness དྲན་མེད་འཐིབ་པའི་མུན་པ་སངས༔ drenmé tibpé münpa sang Among all sentient beings in saṃsāra be dispelled; གཉིས་སུ་འཛིན་པའི་ཤེས་པ་དྭངས༔ nyi su dzinpé shepa dang May their dualistic perceptions be purified; རིག་པའི་རང་ངོ་ཤེས་པར་ཤོག༔ rigpé rang ngoshepar shok And may they recognise their very own awareness. གཉིས་འཛིན་བློ་ནི་ཐེ་ཚོམ་སྟེ༔ nyidzin lo ni tetsom té A mind of dualistic clinging is one of doubt. ཞེན་པ་ཕྲ་མོ་སྐྱེས་པ་ལས༔ shyenpa tramo kyepa lé From subtle attachment, once it has arisen, བག་ཆགས་འཐུག་པོ་རིམ་གྱིས་བརྟས༔ bakchak tukpo rimgyi té Habitual tendencies gradually gain strength. ཟས་ནོར་གོས་དང་གནས་དང་གྲོགས༔ zé nor gö dang né dang drok Food, wealth, clothing, home and companions, འདོད་ཡོན་ལྔ་དང་བྱམས་པའི་གཉེན༔ döyön nga dang jampé nyen The pleasures of the five senses, or dear relations— ཡིད་འོང་ཆགས་པའི་འདོད་པས་གདུངས༔ yi ong chakpé döpé dung Whatever is attractive brings the torment of desire. དེ་དག་འཇིག་རྟེན་འཁྲུལ་པ་སྟེ༔ dedak jikten trulpa té These are the delusions of the world. གཟུང་འཛིན་ལས་ལ་ཟད་མཐའ་མེད༔ zungdzin lé la zé tamé Actions based on dualistic clinging are unending. ཞེན་པའི་འབྲས་བུ་སྨིན་པའི་ཚེ༔ shyenpé drebu minpé tsé When the fruits of attachment come to ripen, རྐམ་ཆགས་གདུང་བའི་ཡི་དྭགས་སུ༔ kam chak dungwé yidak su They bring birth as a preta tormented by desire. སྐྱེས་ནས་བཀྲེས་སྐོམ་ཡ་རེ་ང་༔ kyé né trekom ya re nga How wretched are the pains of hunger and thirst! སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ sangye nga yi mönlam gyi Now through this, my aspiration as a buddha, འདོད་ཆགས་ཞེན་པའི་སེམས་ཅན་རྣམས༔ döchak shyenpé semchen nam May beings beset by craving and attachment འདོད་པའི་གདུང་བ་ཕྱིར་མ་སྤངས༔ döpé dungwa chir mapang Neither cast aside the torment of desire འདོད་ཆགས་ཞེན་པ་ཚུར་མ་བླང་༔ döchak shyenpa tsur malang Nor pursue the craving of attachment. ཤེས་པ་རང་སོར་ཀློད་པ་ཡིས༔ shepa rang sor löpa yi But by allowing the mind to relax just as it is, རིག་པ་རང་སོ་ཟིན་གྱུར་ནས༔ rigpa rang so zin gyur né May they capture the natural state of awareness ཀུན་རྟོག་ཡེ་ཤེས་ཐོབ་པར་ཤོག༔ küntok yeshe tobpar shok And gain the wisdom of perfect discernment. ཕྱི་རོལ་ཡུལ་གྱི་སྣང་བ་ལ༔ chirol yul gyi nangwa la Through the subtle stirrings of anxiety and fear འཇིགས་སྐྲག་ཤེས་པ་ཕྲ་མོ་འགྱུས༔ jiktrak shepa tramo gyü Towards the appearance of external objects སྡང་བའི་བག་ཆགས་བརྟས་པ་ལས༔ dangwé bakchak tepa lé Habitual tendencies of aversion are reinforced, དགྲར་འཛིན་བརྡེག་གསོད་ཧྲག་པ་སྐྱེས༔ drar dzin dek sö hrakpa kyé Opening the way to enmity, injury and slaughter. ཞེ་སྡང་འབྲས་བུ་སྨིན་པའི་ཚེ༔ shyedang drebu minpé tsé When the fruits of aggression come to ripen, དམྱལ་བའི་བཙོ་བསྲེག་སྡུག་རེ་བསྔལ༔ nyalwé tso sek duk ré ngal How harrowing will be the boilings and burnings of hell! སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡིས་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ sangye nga yi mönlam gyi Now through this, my aspiration as a buddha, འགྲོ་དྲུག་སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་ཀྱི༔ dro druk semchen tamché kyi May all the sentient beings of the six realms ཞེ་སྡང་དྲག་པོ་སྐྱེས་པའི་ཚེ༔ shyedang drakpo kyepé tsé Whenever they are beset by intense aggression, སྤང་བླང་མི་བྱ་རང་སོར་ཀློད༔ panglang mija rang sor lö Neither reject nor indulge it, but relax therein, རིག་པ་རང་སོ་ཟིན་གྱུར་ནས༔ rigpa rang so zin gyur né Capture the natural state of their own awareness, གསལ་བའི་ཡེ་ཤེས་ཐོབ་པར་ཤོག༔ salwé yeshe tobpar shok And gain the wisdom of lucid clarity. རང་སེམས་ཁེངས་པར་གྱུར་པ་ལ༔ rangsem khengpar gyurpa la When the mind grows conceited གཞན་ལ་འགྲན་སེམས་སྨད་པའི་བློ༔ shyen la drensem mepé lo It brings thoughts of rivalry and disdain, ང་རྒྱལ་དྲག་པོའི་སེམས་སྐྱེས་པས༔ ngagyal drakpö sem kyepé And the arising of intense pride བདག་གཞན་འཐབ་རྩོད་སྡུག་བསྔལ་མྱོང༔ dakshyen tabtsö dukngal nyong Leads to the suffering of quarrels and disputes. ལས་དེའི་འབྲས་བུ་སྨིན་པའི་ཚེ༔ lé dé drebu minpé tsé When the fruits of such karma come to ripen འཕོ་ལྟུང་མྱོང་བའི་ལྷ་རུ་སྐྱེ༔ po tung nyongwé lha ru kyé They bring birth as a deva subject to passage and fall. སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ sangye nga yi mönlam gyi Now through this, my aspiration as a buddha, ཁེངས་སེམས་སྐྱེས་པའི་སེམས་ཅན་རྣམས༔ khengsem kyepé semchen nam May all sentient beings in whom conceit is born དེ་ཚེ་ཤེས་པ་རང་སོར་ཀློད༔ detsé shepa rang sor lö Relax their minds there and then, རིག་པ་རང་སོ་ཟིན་གྱུར་ནས༔ rigpa rang so zin gyur né Capture the natural state of their own awareness མཉམ་པ་ཉིད་ཀྱི་དོན་རྟོགས་ཤོག༔ nyampa nyi kyi dön tok shok And realise the true meaning of equality.5 གཉིས་འཛིན་བརྟས་པའི་བག་ཆགས་ཀྱིས༔ nyidzin tepé bakchak kyi Habitual tendencies of intense dualistic clinging བདག་བསྟོད་གཞན་སྨོད་ཟུག་རྔུ་ལས༔ dak tö shyen mö zuk ku lé Bring about the pain of self-flattery and contempt, འཐབ་རྩོད་འགྲན་སེམས་བརྟས་པ་ལས༔ tabtsö drensem tepa lé And by inflaming conflict, dispute and competition, གསོད་གཅོད་ལྷ་མིན་གནས་སུ་སྐྱེ༔ sö chö lhamin né su kyé Lead to birth in the asura realm of slaughter and mutilation, འབྲས་བུ་དམྱལ་བའི་གནས་སུ་ལྟུང་༔ drebu nyalwé né su tung Which in turn results in descent to the domains of hell. སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ sangye nga yi mönlam gyi Now through this, my aspiration as a buddha, འགྲན་སེམས་འཐབ་རྩོད་སྐྱེས་པ་རྣམས༔ drensem tabtsö kyepa nam May those in whom rivalry and antagonism take root དགྲར་འཛིན་མི་བྱ་རང་སོར་ཀློད༔ drar dzin mija rang sor lö Not regard them as enemies but relax there and then, ཤེས་པ་རང་སོ་ཟིན་གྱུར་ནས༔ shepa rang so zin gyur né Capture the natural state of their own awareness ཕྲིན་ལས་ཐོགས་མེད་ཡེ་ཤེས་ཤོག༔ trinlé tokmé yeshe shok And gain the wisdom of unimpeded activity. དྲན་མེད་བཏང་སྙོམས་ཡེངས་པ་ཡིས༔ drenmé tangnyom yengpa yi Mindlessness, indifference, distraction, འཐིབས་དང་རྨུགས་དང་བརྗེད་པ་དང་༔ tib dang muk dang jepa dang Dullness, drowsiness, oblivion, བརྒྱལ་དང་ལེ་ལོ་གཏི་མུག་པས༔ gyal dang lelo timukpé Insensibility, laziness and stupidity འབྲས་བུ་སྐྱབས་མེད་བྱོལ་སོང་འཁྱམས༔ drebu kyabmé jolsong khyam Result in helpless animal wandering. སངས་རྒྱས་ང་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ sangye nga yi mönlam gyi Now through this, my aspiration as a buddha, གཏི་མུག་བྱིང་པའི་མུན་པ་ལ༔ timuk jingpé münpa la May the light of clear cognizance arise དྲན་པ་གསལ་བའི་མདངས་ཤར་བས༔ drenpa salwé dang sharwé In those plunged into stupidity’s gloom, རྟོག་མེད་ཡེ་ཤེས་ཐོབ་པར་ཤོག༔ tokmé yeshe tobpar shok And may they gain wisdom free of thought. ཁམས་གསུམ་སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་ཀུན༔ kham sum semchen tamché kün All sentient beings throughout the three realms ཀུན་གཞི་སངས་རྒྱས་ང་དང་མཉམ༔ künshyi sangye nga dang nyam Are equal to me, the buddha, in the ground of all, དྲན་མེད་འཁྲུལ་པའི་གཞི་རུ་སོང་༔ drenmé trulpé shyi ru song Yet for them it is but a base of mindless delusion. ད་ལྟ་དོན་མེད་ལས་ལ་སྤྱོད༔ danta dönmé lé la chö And now they engage in meaningless pursuits, ལས་དྲུག་རྨི་ལམ་འཁྲུལ་པ་འདྲ༔ lé druk milam trulpa dra With sixfold karma as if deceived by a dream. ང་ནི་སངས་རྒྱས་ཐོག་མ་ཡིན༔ nga ni sangye tokma yin Yet I am the primordial buddha, འགྲོ་དྲུག་སྤྲུལ་པས་འདུལ་བའི་ཕྱིར༔ dro druk trulpé dulwé chir Guide to the six classes through my emanations. ཀུན་ཏུ་བཟང་པོའི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ kuntuzangpö mönlam gyi Through this, Samantabhadra’s prayer of aspiration, སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་མ་ལུས་པ༔ semchen tamché malüpa May all sentient beings without exception ཆོས་ཀྱི་དབྱིངས་སུ་འཚང་རྒྱ་ཤོག༔ chö kyi ying su tsang gya shok Awaken within the dharmadhātu, the absolute sphere. ཨ་ཧོ༔ a ho Aho! ཕྱིན་ཆད་རྣལ་འབྱོར་སྟོབས་ཅན་གྱིས༔ chinché naljor tobchen gyi Henceforth, whenever a powerful yogi, འཁྲུལ་མེད་རིག་པ་རང་གསལ་ནས༔ trulmé rigpa rangsal né With naturally clear, undeluded awareness, སྨོན་ལམ་སྟོབས་ཅན་འདི་བཏབ་པས༔ mönlam tobchen di tabpé Recites this powerful aspiration, འདི་ཐོས་སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་ཀུན༔ di tö semchen tamché kün All sentient beings who hear it སྐྱེ་བ་གསུམ་ནས་མངོན་འཚང་རྒྱ༔ kyewa sum né ngön tsang gya Will awaken within the course of three lives. ཉི་ཟླ་གཟའ་ཡིས་ཟིན་པའམ༔ nyida za yi zinpa am When Rāhu seizes the sun or moon,6 སྒྲ་དང་ས་གཡོས་བྱུང་བའམ༔ dra dang sayö jungwa am Whenever the earth rumbles or quakes, ཉི་མ་ལྡོག་འགྱུར་ལོ་འཕོ་དུས༔ nyima dok gyur lopo dü At the solstices or close of the year, རང་ཉིད་ཀུན་ཏུ་བཟང་པོར་བསྐྱེད༔ rangnyi kuntuzangpor kyé Visualize yourself as Samantabhadra, ཀུན་གྱིས་ཐོས་སར་འདི་བརྗོད་ན༔ kün gyi tö sar di jö na And chant this aloud so all may hear. ཁམས་གསུམ་སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་ལ༔ kham sum semchen tamché la Then all the beings of the three realms རྣལ་འབྱོར་དེ་ཡི་སྨོན་ལམ་གྱིས༔ naljor dé yi mönlam gyi Will, through the yogi’s prayer of aspiration, སྡུག་བསྔལ་རིམ་བཞིན་གྲོལ་ནས་ཀྱང་༔ dukngal rimshyin drol né kyang Gradually be freed from their suffering མཐའ་རུ་སངས་རྒྱས་ཐོབ་པར་འགྱུར༔ ta ru sangye tobpar gyur And ultimately awaken as a buddha.7 ཞེས་གསུངས་སོ། །རྫོགས་པ་ཆེན་པོ་ཀུན་ཏུ་བཟང་པོའི་དགོངས་པ་ཟང་ཐལ་དུ་བསྟན་པའི་རྒྱུད་ལས། སྨོན་ལམ་སྟོབས་པོ་ཆེ་བཏབ་པས་སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་སངས་མི་རྒྱ་བའི་དབང་མེད་པར་བསྟན་པའི་ལེའུ་བཅུ་དགུ་པ་ཁོལ་དུ་ཕྱུངས་པའོ། ། This was extracted from the nineteenth chapter of the Tantra of the Great Perfection that Reveals the All-Penetrating Wisdom Mind of Samantabhadra, which teaches that through making a powerful prayer of aspiration all sentient beings cannot but awaken. | Translated by Adam Pearcey, 2019. source: https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/rigdzin-godem/prayer-of-kuntuzangpo

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hauntedtacotreetrash · 3 years

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(via Luther's Separation From Rome)

Chapter 7—Luther’s Separation From RomeForemost among those who were called to lead the church from the darkness of popery into the light of a purer faith, stood Martin Luther. Zealous, ardent, and devoted, knowing no fear but the fear of God, and acknowledging no foundation for religious faith but the Holy Scriptures, Luther was the man for his time; through him God accomplished a great work for the reformation of the church and the enlightenment of the world. GC 120.1Like the first heralds of the gospel, Luther sprang from the ranks of poverty. His early years were spent in the humble home of a German peasant. By daily toil as a miner his father earned the means for his education. He intended him for a lawyer; but God purposed to make him a builder in the great temple that was rising so slowly through the centuries. Hardship, privation, and severe discipline were the school in which Infinite Wisdom prepared Luther for the important mission of his life. GC 120.2Luther’s father was a man of strong and active mind and great force of character, honest, resolute, and straightforward. He was true to his convictions of duty, let the consequences be what they might. His sterling good sense led him to regard the monastic system with distrust. He was highly displeased when Luther, without his consent, entered a monastery; and it was two years before the father was reconciled to his son, and even then his opinions remained the same. GC 120.3Luther’s parents bestowed great care upon the education and training of their children. They endeavored to instruct them in the knowledge of God and the practice of Christian virtues. The father’s prayer often ascended in the hearing of his son that the child might remember the name of the Lord and one day aid in the advancement of His truth. Every advantage for moral or intellectual culture which their life of toil permitted them to enjoy was eagerly improved by these parents. Their efforts were earnest and persevering to prepare their children for a life of piety and usefulness. With their firmness and strength of character they sometimes exercised too great severity; but the Reformer himself, though conscious that in some respects they had erred, found in their discipline more to approve than to condemn. GC 121.1At school, where he was sent at an early age, Luther was treated with harshness and even violence. So great was the poverty of his parents that upon going from home to school in another town he was for a time obliged to obtain his food by singing from door to door, and he often suffered from hunger. The gloomy, superstitious ideas of religion then prevailing filled him with fear. He would lie down at night with a sorrowful heart, looking forward with trembling to the dark future and in constant terror at the thought of God as a stern, unrelenting judge, a cruel tyrant, rather than a kind heavenly Father. GC 121.2Yet under so many and so great discouragements Luther pressed resolutely forward toward the high standard of moral and intellectual excellence which attracted his soul. He thirsted for knowledge, and the earnest and practical character of his mind led him to desire the solid and useful rather than the showy and superficial. GC 121.3When, at the age of eighteen, he entered the University of Erfurt, his situation was more favorable and his prospects were brighter than in his earlier years. His parents having by thrift and industry acquired a competence, they were able to render him all needed assistance. And the influence of judicious friends had somewhat lessened the gloomy effects of his former training. He applied himself to the study of the best authors, diligently treasuring their most weighty thoughts and making the wisdom of the wise his own. Even under the harsh discipline of his former instructors he had early given promise of distinction, and with favorable influences his mind rapidly developed. A retentive memory, a lively imagination, strong reasoning powers, and untiring application soon placed him in the foremost rank among his associates. Intellectual discipline ripened his understanding and aroused an activity of mind and a keenness of perception that were preparing him for the conflicts of his life. GC 121.4The fear of the Lord dwelt in the heart of Luther, enabling him to maintain his steadfastness of purpose and leading him to deep humility before God. He had an abiding sense of his dependence upon divine aid, and he did not fail to begin each day with prayer, while his heart was continually breathing a petition for guidance and support. “To pray well,” he often said, “is the better half of study.”—D’Aubigne, b. 2, ch. 2. GC 122.1While one day examining the books in the library of the university, Luther discovered a Latin Bible. Such a book he had never before seen. He was ignorant even of its existence. He had heard portions of the Gospels and Epistles, which were read to the people at public worship, and he supposed that these were the entire Bible. Now, for the first time, he looked upon the whole of God’s word. With mingled awe and wonder he turned the sacred pages; with quickened pulse and throbbing heart he read for himself the words of life, pausing now and then to exclaim: “O that God would give me such a book for myself!”—Ibid., b. 2, ch. 2. Angels of heaven were by his side, and rays of light from the throne of God revealed the treasures of truth to his understanding. He had ever feared to offend God, but now the deep conviction of his condition as a sinner took hold upon him as never before. GC 122.2An earnest desire to be free from sin and to find peace with God led him at last to enter a cloister and devote himself to a monastic life. Here he was required to perform the lowest drudgery and to beg from house to house. He was at an age when respect and appreciation are most eagerly craved, and these menial offices were deeply mortifying to his natural feelings; but he patiently endured this humiliation, believing that it was necessary because of his sins. GC 123.1Every moment that could be spared from his daily duties he employed in study, robbing himself of sleep and grudging even the time spent at his scanty meals. Above everything else he delighted in the study of God’s word. He had found a Bible chained to the convent wall, and to this he often repaired. As his convictions of sin deepened, he sought by his own works to obtain pardon and peace. He led a most rigorous life, endeavoring by fasting, vigils, and scourgings to subdue the evils of his nature, from which the monastic life had brought no release. He shrank from no sacrifice by which he might attain to that purity of heart which would enable him to stand approved before God. “I was indeed a pious monk,” he afterward said, “and followed the rules of my order more strictly than I can express. If ever monk could obtain heaven by his monkish works, I should certainly have been entitled to it.... If it had continued much longer, I should have carried my mortifications even to death.”—Ibid., b. 2, ch. 3. As the result of this painful discipline he lost strength and suffered from fainting spasms, from the effects of which he never fully recovered. But with all his efforts his burdened soul found no relief. He was at last driven to the verge of despair. GC 123.2When it appeared to Luther that all was lost, God raised up a friend and helper for him. The pious Staupitz opened the word of God to Luther’s mind and bade him look away from himself, cease the contemplation of infinite punishment for the violation of God’s law, and look to Jesus, his sin-pardoning Saviour. “Instead of torturing yourself on account of your sins, throw yourself into the Redeemer’s arms. Trust in Him, in the righteousness of His life, in the atonement of His death.... Listen to the Son of God. He became man to give you the assurance of divine favor.” “Love Him who first loved you.”—Ibid., b. 2, ch. 4. Thus spoke this messenger of mercy. His words made a deep impression upon Luther’s mind. After many a struggle with long-cherished errors, he was enabled to grasp the truth, and peace came to his troubled soul. GC 123.3Luther was ordained a priest and was called from the cloister to a professorship in the University of Wittenberg. Here he applied himself to the study of the Scriptures in the original tongues. He began to lecture upon the Bible; and the book of Psalm, the Gospels, and the Epistles were opened to the understanding of crowds of delighted listeners. Staupitz, his friend and superior, urged him to ascend the pulpit and preach the word of God. Luther hesitated, feeling himself unworthy to speak to the people in Christ’s stead. It was only after a long struggle that he yielded to the solicitations of his friends. Already he was mighty in the Scriptures, and the grace of God rested upon him. His eloquence captivated his hearers, the clearness and power with which he presented the truth convinced their understanding, and his fervor touched their hearts. GC 124.1Luther was still a true son of the papal church and had no thought that he would ever be anything else. In the providence of God he was led to visit Rome. He pursued his journey on foot, lodging at the monasteries on the way. At a convent in Italy he was filled with wonder at the wealth, magnificence, and luxury that he witnessed. Endowed with a princely revenue, the monks dwelt in splendid apartments, attired themselves in the richest and most costly robes, and feasted at a sumptuous table. With painful misgivings Luther contrasted this scene with the self-denial and hardship of his own life. His mind was becoming perplexed. GC 124.2At last he beheld in the distance the seven-hilled city. With deep emotion he prostrated himself upon the earth, exclaiming: “Holy Rome, I salute thee!”—Ibid., b. 2, ch. 6. He entered the city, visited the churches, listened to the marvelous tales repeated by priests and monks, and performed all the ceremonies required. Everywhere he looked upon scenes that filled him with astonishment and horror. He saw that iniquity existed among all classes of the clergy. He heard indecent jokes from prelates, and was filled with horror at their awful profanity, even during mass. As he mingled with the monks and citizens he met dissipation, debauchery. Turn where he would, in the place of sanctity he found profanation. “No one can imagine,” he wrote, “what sins and infamous actions are committed in Rome; they must be seen and heard to be believed. Thus they are in the habit of saying, ‘If there is a hell, Rome is built over it: it is an abyss whence issues every kind of sin.’”—Ibid., b. 2, ch. 6. GC 124.3By a recent decretal an indulgence had been promised by the pope to all who should ascend upon their knees “Pilate’s staircase,” said to have been descended by our Saviour on leaving the Roman judgment hall and to have been miraculously conveyed from Jerusalem to Rome. Luther was one day devoutly climbing these steps, when suddenly a voice like thunder seemed to say to him: “The just shall live by faith.” Romans 1:17. He sprang to his feet and hastened from the place in shame and horror. That text never lost its power upon his soul. From that time he saw more clearly than ever before the fallacy of trusting to human works for salvation, and the necessity of constant faith in the merits of Christ. His eyes had been opened, and were never again to be closed, to the delusions of the papacy. When he turned his face from Rome he had turned away also in heart, and from that time the separation grew wider, until he severed all connection with the papal church. GC 125.1After his return from Rome, Luther received at the University of Wittenberg the degree of doctor of divinity. Now he was at liberty to devote himself, as never before, to the Scriptures that he loved. He had taken a solemn vow to study carefully and to preach with fidelity the word of God, not the sayings and doctrines of the popes, all the days of his life. He was no longer the mere monk or professor, but the authorized herald of the Bible. He had been called as a shepherd to feed the flock of God, that were hungering and thirsting for the truth. He firmly declared that Christians should receive no other doctrines than those which rest on the authority of the Sacred Scriptures. These words struck at the very foundation of papal supremacy. They contained the vital principle of the Reformation. GC 125.2Luther saw the danger of exalting human theories above the word of God. He fearlessly attacked the speculative infidelity of the schoolmen and opposed the philosophy and theology which had so long held a controlling influence upon the people. He denounced such studies as not only worthless but pernicious, and sought to turn the minds of his hearers from the sophistries of philosophers and theologians to the eternal truths set forth by prophets and apostles. GC 126.1Precious was the message which he bore to the eager crowds that hung upon his words. Never before had such teachings fallen upon their ears. The glad tidings of a Saviour’s love, the assurance of pardon and peace through His atoning blood, rejoiced their hearts and inspired within them an immortal hope. At Wittenberg a light was kindled whose rays should extend to the uttermost parts of the earth, and which was to increase in brightness to the close of time. GC 126.2But light and darkness cannot harmonize. Between truth and error there is an irrepressible conflict. To uphold and defend the one is to attack and overthrow the other. Our Saviour Himself declared: “I came not to send peace, but a sword.” Matthew 10:34. Said Luther, a few years after the opening of the Reformation: “God does not guide me, He pushes me forward. He carries me away. I am not master of myself. I desire to live in repose; but I am thrown into the midst of tumults and revolutions.”—D’Aubigne, b. 5, ch. 2. He was now about to be urged into the contest. GC 126.3The Roman Church had made merchandise of the grace of God. The tables of the money-changers (Matthew 21:12) were set up beside her altars, and the air resounded with the shouts of buyers and sellers. Under the plea of raising funds for the erection of St. Peter’s Church at Rome, indulgences for sin were publicly offered for sale by the authority of the pope. By the price of crime a temple was to be built up for God’s worship—the cornerstone laid with the wages of iniquity! But the very means adopted for Rome’s aggrandizement provoked the deadliest blow to her power and greatness. It was this that aroused the most determined and successful of the enemies of popery, and led to the battle which shook the papal throne and jostled the triple crown upon the pontiff’s head. GC 127.1The official appointed to conduct the sale of indulgences in Germany—Tetzel by name—had been convicted of the basest offenses against society and against the law of God; but having escaped the punishment due for his crimes, he was employed to further the mercenary and unscrupulous projects of the pope. With great effrontery he repeated the most glaring falsehoods and related marvelous tales to deceive an ignorant, credulous, and superstitious people. Had they possessed the word of God they would not have been thus deceived. It was to keep them under the control of the papacy, in order to swell the power and wealth of her ambitious leaders, that the Bible had been withheld from them. (See John C. L. Gieseler, A Compendium of Ecclesiastical History, per. 4, sec. 1, par. 5.) GC 127.2As Tetzel entered a town, a messenger went before him, announcing: “The grace of God and of the holy father is at your gates.”—D’Aubigne, b. 3, ch. 1. And the people welcomed the blasphemous pretender as if he were God Himself come down from heaven to them. The infamous traffic was set up in the church, and Tetzel, ascending the pulpit, extolled the indulgences as the most precious gift of God. He declared that by virtue of his certificates of pardon all the sins which the purchaser should afterward desire to commit would be forgiven him, and that “not even repentance is necessary.”—Ibid., b. 3, ch. 1. More than this, he assured his hearers that the indulgences had power to save not only the living but the dead; that the very moment the money should clink against the bottom of his chest, the soul in whose behalf it had been paid would escape from purgatory and make its way to heaven. (See K. R. Hagenbach, History of the Reformation, vol. 1, p. 96.) GC 127.3When Simon Magus offered to purchase of the apostles the power to work miracles, Peter answered him: “Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.” Acts 8:20. But Tetzel’s offer was grasped by eager thousands. Gold and silver flowed into his treasury. A salvation that could be bought with money was more easily obtained than that which requires repentance, faith, and diligent effort to resist and overcome sin. (See Appendix note for page 59.) GC 128.1The doctrine of indulgences had been opposed by men of learning and piety in the Roman Church, and there were many who had no faith in pretensions so contrary to both reason and revelation. No prelate dared lift his voice against this iniquitous traffic; but the minds of men were becoming disturbed and uneasy, and many eagerly inquired if God would not work through some instrumentality for the purification of His church. GC 128.2Luther, though still a papist of the straitest sort, was filled with horror at the blasphemous assumptions of the indulgence mongers. Many of his own congregation had purchased certificates of pardon, and they soon began to come to their pastor, confessing their various sins, and expecting absolution, not because they were penitent and wished to reform, but on the ground of the indulgence. Luther refused them absolution, and warned them that unless they should repent and reform their lives, they must perish in their sins. In great perplexity they repaired to Tetzel with the complaint that their confessor had refused his certificates; and some boldly demanded that their money be returned to them. The friar was filled with rage. He uttered the most terrible curses, caused fires to be lighted in the public squares, and declared that he “had received an order from the pope to burn all heretics who presumed to oppose his most holy indulgences.”—D’Aubigne, b. 3, ch. 4. GC 128.3Luther now entered boldly upon his work as a champion of the truth. His voice was heard from the pulpit in earnest, solemn warning. He set before the people the offensive character of sin, and taught them that it is impossible for man, by his own works, to lessen its guilt or evade its punishment. Nothing but repentance toward God and faith in Christ can save the sinner. The grace of Christ cannot be purchased; it is a free gift. He counseled the people not to buy indulgences, but to look in faith to a crucified Redeemer. He related his own painful experience in vainly seeking by humiliation and penance to secure salvation, and assured his hearers that it was by looking away from himself and believing in Christ that he found peace and joy. GC 129.1As Tetzel continued his traffic and his impious pretensions, Luther determined upon a more effectual protest against these crying abuses. An occasion soon offered. The castle church of Wittenberg possessed many relics, which on certain holy days were exhibited to the people, and full remission of sins was granted to all who then visited the church and made confession. Accordingly on these days the people in great numbers resorted thither. One of the most important of these occasions, the festival of All Saints, was approaching. On the preceding day, Luther, joining the crowds that were already making their way to the church, posted on its door a paper containing ninety-five propositions against the doctrine of indulgences. He declared his willingness to defend these theses next day at the university, against all who should see fit to attack them. GC 129.2His propositions attracted universal attention. They were read and reread, and repeated in every direction. Great excitement was created in the university and in the whole city. By these theses it was shown that the power to grant the pardon of sin, and to remit its penalty, had never been committed to the pope or to any other man. The whole scheme was a farce,—an artifice to extort money by playing upon the superstitions of the people,—a device of Satan to destroy the souls of all who should trust to its lying pretensions. It was also clearly shown that the gospel of Christ is the most valuable treasure of the church, and that the grace of God, therein revealed, is freely bestowed upon all who seek it by repentance and faith. GC 130.1Luther’s theses challenged discussion; but no one dared accept the challenge. The questions which he proposed had in a few days spread through all Germany, and in a few weeks they had sounded throughout Christendom. Many devoted Romanists, who had seen and lamented the terrible iniquity prevailing in the church, but had not known how to arrest its progress, read the propositions with great joy, recognizing in them the voice of God. They felt that the Lord had graciously set His hand to arrest the rapidly swelling tide of corruption that was issuing from the see of Rome. Princes and magistrates secretly rejoiced that a check was to be put upon the arrogant power which denied the right of appeal from its decisions. GC 130.2But the sin-loving and superstitious multitudes were terrified as the sophistries that had soothed their fears were swept away. Crafty ecclesiastics, interrupted in their work of sanctioning crime, and seeing their gains endangered, were enraged, and rallied to uphold their pretensions. The Reformer had bitter accusers to meet. Some charged him with acting hastily and from impulse. Others accused him of presumption, declaring that he was not directed of God, but was acting from pride and forwardness. “Who does not know,” he responded, “that a man rarely puts forth any new idea without having some appearance of pride, and without being accused of exciting quarrels? ... Why were Christ and all the martyrs put to death? Because they seemed to be proud contemners of the wisdom of the time, and because they advanced novelties without having first humbly taken counsel of the oracles of the ancient opinions.” GC 130.3Again he declared: “Whatever I do will be done, not by the prudence of men, but by the counsel of God. If the work be of God, who shall stop it? if it be not, who can forward it? Not my will, nor theirs, nor ours; but Thy will, O holy Father, which art in heaven.”—Ibid., b. 3, ch. 6. GC 131.1Though Luther had been moved by the Spirit of God to begin his work, he was not to carry it forward without severe conflicts. The reproaches of his enemies, their misrepresentation of his purposes, and their unjust and malicious reflections upon his character and motives, came in upon him like an overwhelming flood; and they were not without effect. He had felt confident that the leaders of the people, both in the church and in the schools, would gladly unite with him in efforts for reform. Words of encouragement from those in high position had inspired him with joy and hope. Already in anticipation he had seen a brighter day dawning for the church. But encouragement had changed to reproach and condemnation. Many dignitaries, of both church and state, were convicted of the truthfulness of his theses; but they soon saw that the acceptance of these truths would involve great changes. To enlighten and reform the people would be virtually to undermine the authority of Rome, to stop thousands of streams now flowing into her treasury, and thus greatly to curtail the extravagance and luxury of the papal leaders. Furthermore, to teach the people to think and act as responsible beings, looking to Christ alone for salvation, would overthrow the pontiff’s throne and eventually destroy their own authority. For this reason they refused the knowledge tendered them of God and arrayed themselves against Christ and the truth by their opposition to the man whom He had sent to enlighten them. GC 131.2Luther trembled as he looked upon himself—one man opposed to the mightiest powers of earth. He sometimes doubted whether he had indeed been led of God to set himself against the authority of the church. “Who was I,” he writes, “to oppose the majesty of the pope, before whom ... the kings of the earth and the whole world trembled? ... No one can know what my heart suffered during these first two years, and into what despondency, I may say into what despair, I was sunk.”—Ibid., b. 3, ch. 6. But he was not left to become utterly disheartened. When human support failed, he looked to God alone and learned that he could lean in perfect safety upon that all-powerful arm. GC 132.1To a friend of the Reformation Luther wrote: “We cannot attain to the understanding of Scripture either by study or by the intellect. Your first duty is to begin by prayer. Entreat the Lord to grant you, of His great mercy, the true understanding of His word. There is no other interpreter of the word of God than the Author of this word, as He Himself has said, ‘They shall be all taught of God.’ Hope for nothing from your own labors, from your own understanding: trust solely in God, and in the influence of His Spirit. Believe this on the word of a man who has had experience.”—Ibid., b. 3, ch. 7. Here is a lesson of vital importance to those who feel that God has called them to present to others the solemn truths for this time. These truths will stir the enmity of Satan and of men who love the fables that he has devised. In the conflict with the powers of evil there is need of something more than strength of intellect and human wisdom. GC 132.2When enemies appealed to custom and tradition, or to the assertions and authority of the pope, Luther met them with the Bible and the Bible only. Here were arguments which they could not answer; therefore the slaves of formalism and superstition clamored for his blood, as the Jews had clamored for the blood of Christ. “He is a heretic,“ cried the Roman zealots. “It is high treason against the church to allow so horrible a heretic to live one hour longer. Let the scaffold be instantly erected for him!”—Ibid., b. 3, ch. 9. But Luther did not fall a prey to their fury. God had a work for him to do, and angels of heaven were sent to protect him. Many, however, who had received from Luther the precious light were made the objects of Satan’s wrath and for the truth’s sake fearlessly suffered torture and death. GC 132.3Luther’s teachings attracted the attention of thoughtful minds throughout all Germany. From his sermons and writings issued beams of light which awakened and illuminated thousands. A living faith was taking the place of the dead formalism in which the church had so long been held. The people were daily losing confidence in the superstitions of Romanism. The barriers of prejudice were giving way. The word of God, by which Luther tested every doctrine and every claim, was like a two-edged sword, cutting its way to the hearts of the people. Everywhere there was awakening a desire for spiritual progress. Everywhere was such a hungering and thirsting after righteousness as had not been known for ages. The eyes of the people, so long directed to human rites and earthly mediators, were now turning in penitence and faith to Christ and Him crucified. GC 133.1This widespread interest aroused still further the fears of the papal authorities. Luther received a summons to appear at Rome to answer to the charge of heresy. The command filled his friends with terror. They knew full well the danger that threatened him in that corrupt city, already drunk with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus. They protested against his going to Rome and requested that he receive his examination in Germany. GC 133.2This arrangement was finally effected, and the pope’s legate was appointed to hear the case. In the instructions communicated by the pontiff to this official, it was stated that Luther had already been declared a heretic. The legate was therefore charged “to prosecute and constrain without any delay.” If he should remain steadfast, and the legate should fail to gain possession of his person, he was empowered “to proscribe him in every part of Germany; to banish, curse, and excommunicate all those who are attached to him.”—Ibid., b. 4, ch. 2. And, further, the pope directed his legate, in order entirely to root out the pestilent heresy, to excommunicate all, of whatever dignity in church or state, except the emperor, who should neglect to seize Luther and his adherents, and deliver them up to the vengeance of Rome. GC 133.3Here is displayed the true spirit of popery. Not a trace of Christian principle, or even of common justice, is to be seen in the whole document. Luther was at a great distance from Rome; he had had no opportunity to explain or defend his position; yet before his case had been investigated, he was summarily pronounced a heretic, and in the same day, exhorted, accused, judged, and condemned; and all this by the self-styled holy father, the only supreme, infallible authority in church or state! GC 134.1At this time, when Luther so much needed the sympathy and counsel of a true friend, God’s providence sent Melanchthon to Wittenberg. Young in years, modest and diffident in his manners, Melanchthon’s sound judgment, extensive knowledge, and winning eloquence, combined with the purity and uprightness of his character, won universal admiration and esteem. The brilliancy of his talents was not more marked than his gentleness of disposition. He soon became an earnest disciple of the gospel, and Luther’s most trusted friend and valued supporter; his gentleness, caution, and exactness serving as a complement to Luther’s courage and energy. Their union in the work added strength to the Reformation and was a source of great encouragement to Luther. GC 134.2Augsburg had been fixed upon as the place of trial, and the Reformer set out on foot to perform the journey thither. Serious fears were entertained in his behalf. Threats had been made openly that he would be seized and murdered on the way, and his friends begged him not to venture. They even entreated him to leave Wittenberg for a time and find safety with those who would gladly protect him. But he would not leave the position where God had placed him. He must continue faithfully to maintain the truth, notwithstanding the storms that were beating upon him. His language was: “I am like Jeremiah, a man of strife and contention; but the more their threats increase, the more my joy is multiplied.... They have already destroyed my honor and my reputation. One single thing remains; it is my wretched body: let them take it; they will thus shorten my life by a few hours. But as for my soul, they cannot take that. He who desires to proclaim the word of Christ to the world, must expect death at every moment.”—Ibid., b. 4, ch. 4. GC 134.3The tidings of Luther’s arrival at Augsburg gave great satisfaction to the papal legate. The troublesome heretic who was exciting the attention of the whole world seemed now in the power of Rome, and the legate determined that he should not escape. The Reformer had failed to provide himself with a safe-conduct. His friends urged him not to appear before the legate without one, and they themselves undertook to procure it from the emperor. The legate intended to force Luther, if possible, to retract, or, failing in this, to cause him to be conveyed to Rome, to share the fate of Huss and Jerome. Therefore through his agents he endeavored to induce Luther to appear without a safe-conduct, trusting himself to his mercy. This the Reformer firmly declined to do. Not until he had received the document pledging him the emperor’s protection, did he appear in the presence of the papal ambassador. GC 135.1As a matter of policy, the Romanists had decided to attempt to win Luther by an appearance of gentleness. The legate, in his interviews with him, professed great friendliness; but he demanded that Luther submit implicitly to the authority of the church, and yield every point without argument or question. He had not rightly estimated the character of the man with whom he had to deal. Luther, in reply, expressed his regard for the church, his desire for the truth, his readiness to answer all objections to what he had taught, and to submit his doctrines to the decision of certain leading universities. But at the same time he protested against the cardinal’s course in requiring him to retract without having proved him in error. GC 135.2The only response was: “Retract, retract!” The Reformer showed that his position was sustained by the Scriptures and firmly declared that he could not renounce the truth. The legate, unable to reply to Luther’s arguments, overwhelmed him with a storm of reproaches, gibes, and flattery, interspersed with quotations from tradition and the sayings of the Fathers, granting the Reformer no opportunity to speak. Seeing that the conference, thus continued, would be utterly futile, Luther finally obtained a reluctant permission to present his answer in writing. GC 136.1“In so doing,” said he, writing to a friend, “the oppressed find double gain; first, what is written may be submitted to the judgment of others; and second, one has a better chance of working on the fears, if not on the conscience, of an arrogant and babbling despot, who would otherwise overpower by his imperious language.”—Martyn, The Life and Times of Luther, pages 271, 272. GC 136.2At the next interview, Luther presented a clear, concise, and forcible exposition of his views, fully supported by many quotations from Scripture. This paper, after reading aloud, he handed to the cardinal, who, however, cast it contemptuously aside, declaring it to be a mass of idle words and irrelevant quotations. Luther, fully aroused, now met the haughty prelate on his own ground—the traditions and teachings of the church—and utterly overthrew his assumptions. GC 136.3When the prelate saw that Luther’s reasoning was unanswerable, he lost all self-control, and in a rage cried out: “Retract! or I will send you to Rome, there to appear before the judges commissioned to take cognizance of your cause. I will excommunicate you and all your partisans, and all who shall at any time countenance you, and will cast them out of the church.” And he finally declared, in a haughty and angry tone: “Retract, or return no more.”—D’Aubigne, London ed., b. 4, ch. 8. GC 136.4The Reformer promptly withdrew with his friends, thus declaring plainly that no retraction was to be expected from him. This was not what the cardinal had purposed. He had flattered himself that by violence he could awe Luther to submission. Now, left alone with his supporters, he looked from one to another in utter chagrin at the unexpected failure of his schemes. GC 137.1Luther’s efforts on this occasion were not without good results. The large assembly present had opportunity to compare the two men, and to judge for themselves of the spirit manifested by them, as well as of the strength and truthfulness of their positions. How marked the contrast! The Reformer, simple, humble, firm, stood up in the strength of God, having truth on his side; the pope’s representative, self-important, overbearing, haughty, and unreasonable, was without a single argument from the Scriptures, yet vehemently crying: “Retract, or be sent to Rome for punishment.” GC 137.2Notwithstanding Luther had secured a safe-conduct, the Romanists were plotting to seize and imprison him. His friends urged that as it was useless for him to prolong his stay, he should return to Wittenberg without delay, and that the utmost caution should be observed in order to conceal his intentions. He accordingly left Augsburg before day-break, on horseback, accompanied only by a guide furnished him by the magistrate. With many forebodings he secretly made his way through the dark and silent streets of the city. Enemies, vigilant and cruel, were plotting his destruction. Would he escape the snares prepared for him? Those were moments of anxiety and earnest prayer. He reached a small gate in the wall of the city. It was opened for him, and with his guide he passed through without hindrance. Once safely outside, the fugitives hastened their flight, and before the legate learned of Luther’s departure, he was beyond the reach of his persecutors. Satan and his emissaries were defeated. The man whom they had thought in their power was gone, escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowler. GC 137.3At the news of Luther’s escape the legate was overwhelmed with surprise and anger. He had expected to receive great honor for his wisdom and firmness in dealing with this disturber of the church; but his hope was disappointed. He gave expression to his wrath in a letter to Frederick, the elector of Saxony, bitterly denouncing Luther and demanding that Frederick send the Reformer to Rome or banish him from Saxony. GC 138.1In defense, Luther urged that the legate or the pope show him his errors from the Scriptures, and pledged himself in the most solemn manner to renounce his doctrines if they could be shown to contradict the word of God. And he expressed his gratitude to God that he had been counted worthy to suffer in so holy a cause. GC 138.2The elector had, as yet, little knowledge of the reformed doctrines, but he was deeply impressed by the candor, force, and clearness of Luther’s words; and until the Reformer should be proved to be in error, Frederick resolved to stand as his protector. In reply to the legate’s demand he wrote: “Since Dr. Martin has appeared before you at Augsburg, you should be satisfied. We did not expect that you would endeavor to make him retract without having convinced him of his errors. None of the learned men in our principality have informed me that Martin’s doctrine is impious, anti-christian, or heretical.’ The prince refused, moreover, to send Luther to Rome, or to expel him from his states.”—D’Aubigne, b. 4, ch. 10. GC 138.3The elector saw that there was a general breaking down of the moral restraints of society. A great work of reform was needed. The complicated and expensive arrangements to restrain and punish crime would be unnecessary if men but acknowledged and obeyed the requirements of God and the dictates of an enlightened conscience. He saw that Luther was laboring to secure this object, and he secretly rejoiced that a better influence was making itself felt in the church. GC 138.4He saw also that as a professor in the university Luther was eminently successful. Only a year had passed since the Reformer posted his theses on the castle church, yet there was already a great falling off in the number of pilgrims that visited the church at the festival of All Saints. Rome had been deprived of worshipers and offerings, but their place was filled by another class, who now came to Wittenberg, not pilgrims to adore her relics, but students to fill her halls of learning. The writings of Luther had kindled everywhere a new interest in the Holy Scriptures, and not only from all parts of Germany, but from other lands, students flocked to the university. Young men, coming in sight of Wittenberg for the first time, “raised their hands to heaven, and praised God for having caused the light of truth to shine forth from this city, as from Zion in times of old, and whence it spread even to the most distant countries.”—Ibid., b. 4, ch. 10. GC 139.1Luther was as yet but partially converted from the errors of Romanism. But as he compared the Holy Oracles with the papal decrees and constitutions, he was filled with wonder. “I am reading,” he wrote, “the decrees of the pontiffs, and ... I do not know whether the pope is antichrist himself, or his apostle, so greatly is Christ misrepresented and crucified in them.”—Ibid., b. 5, ch. 1. Yet at this time Luther was still a supporter of the Roman Church, and had no thought that he would ever separate from her communion. GC 139.2The Reformer’s writings and his doctrine were extending to every nation in Christendom. The work spread to Switzerland and Holland. Copies of his writings found their way to France and Spain. In England his teachings were received as the word of life. To Belgium and Italy also the truth had extended. Thousands were awakening from their deathlike stupor to the joy and hope of a life of faith. GC 139.3Rome became more and more exasperated by the attacks of Luther, and it was declared by some of his fanatical opponents, even by doctors in Catholic universities, that he who should kill the rebellious monk would be without sin. One day a stranger, with a pistol hidden under his cloak, approached the Reformer and inquired why he went thus alone. “I am in God’s hands,” answered Luther. “He is my strength and my shield. What can man do unto me?”—Ibid., b. 6, ch. 2. Upon hearing these words, the stranger turned pale and fled away as from the presence of the angels of heaven. GC 140.1Rome was bent upon the destruction of Luther; but God was his defense. His doctrines were heard everywhere—“in cottages and convents, ... in the castles of the nobles, in the universities, and in the palaces of kings;” and noble men were rising on every hand to sustain his efforts.—Ibid., b. 6, ch. 2. GC 140.2It was about this time that Luther, reading the works of Huss, found that the great truth of justification by faith, which he himself was seeking to uphold and teach, had been held by the Bohemian Reformer. “We have all,” said Luther, “Paul, Augustine, and myself, been Hussites without knowing it!” “God will surely visit it upon the world,” he continued, “that the truth was preached to it a century ago, and burned!”—Wylie, b. 6, ch. 1 GC 140.3In an appeal to the emperor and nobility of Germany in behalf of the reformation of Christianity, Luther wrote concerning the pope: “It is a horrible thing to behold the man who styles himself Christ’s vicegerent, displaying a magnificence that no emperor can equal. Is this being like the poor Jesus, or the humble Peter? He is, say they, the lord of the world! But Christ, whose vicar he boasts of being, has said, ‘My kingdom is not of this world.’ Can the dominions of a vicar extend beyond those of his superior?”—D’Aubigne, b. 6, ch. 3. GC 140.4He wrote thus of the universities: “I am much afraid that the universities will prove to be the great gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures, and engraving them in the hearts of youth. I advise no one to place his child where the Scriptures do not reign paramount. Every institution in which men are not unceasingly occupied with the word of God must become corrupt.”—Ibid., b. 6, ch. 3. GC 140.5This appeal was rapidly circulated throughout Germany and exerted a powerful influence upon the people. The whole nation was stirred, and multitudes were roused to rally around the standard of reform. Luther’s opponents, burning with a desire for revenge, urged the pope to take decisive measures against him. It was decreed that his doctrines should be immediately condemned. Sixty days were granted the Reformer and his adherents, after which, if they did not recant, they were all to be excommunicated. GC 141.1That was a terrible crisis for the Reformation. For centuries Rome’s sentence of excommunication had struck terror to powerful monarchs; it had filled mighty empires with woe and desolation. Those upon whom its condemnation fell were universally regarded with dread and horror; they were cut off from intercourse with their fellows and treated as outlaws, to be hunted to extermination. Luther was not blind to the tempest about to burst upon him; but he stood firm, trusting in Christ to be his support and shield. With a martyr’s faith and courage he wrote: “What is about to happen I know not, nor do I care to know.... Let the blow light where it may, I am without fear. Not so much as a leaf falls, without the will of our Father. How much rather will He care for us! It is a light thing to die for the Word, since the Word which was made flesh hath Himself died. If we die with Him, we shall live with Him; and passing through that which He has passed through before us, we shall be where He is and dwell with Him forever.”—Ibid., 3d London ed., Walther, 1840, b. 6, ch. 9. GC 141.2When the papal bull reached Luther, he said: “I despise and attack it, as impious, false.... It is Christ Himself who is condemned therein.... I rejoice in having to bear such ills for the best of causes. Already I feel greater liberty in my heart; for at last I know that the pope is antichrist, and that his throne is that of Satan himself.”—D’Aubigne, b. 6, ch. 9. GC 141.3Yet the mandate of Rome was not without effect. Prison, torture, and sword were weapons potent to enforce obedience. The weak and superstitious trembled before the decree of the pope; and while there was general sympathy for Luther, many felt that life was too dear to be risked in the cause of reform. Everything seemed to indicate that the Reformer’s work was about to close. GC 142.1But Luther was fearless still. Rome had hurled her anathemas against him, and the world looked on, nothing doubting that he would perish or be forced to yield. But with terrible power he flung back upon herself the sentence of condemnation and publicly declared his determination to abandon her forever. In the presence of a crowd of students, doctors, and citizens of all ranks Luther burned the pope’s bull, with the canon laws, the decretals, and certain writings sustaining the papal power. “My enemies have been able, by burning my books,” he said, “to injure the cause of truth in the minds of the common people, and destroy their souls; for this reason I consumed their books in return. A serious struggle has just begun. Hitherto I have been only playing with the pope. I began this work in God’s name; it will be ended without me, and by His might.”—Ibid., b. 6, ch. 10. GC 142.2To the reproaches of his enemies who taunted him with the weakness of his cause, Luther answered: “Who knows if God has not chosen and called me, and if they ought not to fear that, by despising me, they despise God Himself? Moses was alone at the departure from Egypt; Elijah was alone in the reign of King Ahab; Isaiah alone in Jerusalem; Ezekiel alone in Babylon.... God never selected as a prophet either the high priest or any other great personage; but ordinarily He chose low and despised men, once even the shepherd Amos. In every age, the saints have had to reprove the great, kings, princes, priests, and wise men, at the peril of their lives.... I do not say that I am a prophet; but I say that they ought to fear precisely because I am alone and that they are many. I am sure of this, that the word of God is with me, and that it is not with them.”—Ibid., b. 6, ch. 10. GC 142.3Yet it was not without a terrible struggle with himself that Luther decided upon a final separation from the church. It was about this time that he wrote: “I feel more and more every day how difficult it is to lay aside the scruples which one has imbibed in childhood. Oh, how much pain it has caused me, though I had the Scriptures on my side, to justify it to myself that I should dare to make a stand alone against the pope, and hold him forth as antichrist! What have the tribulations of my heart not been! How many times have I not asked myself with bitterness that question which was so frequent on the lips of the papists: ‘Art thou alone wise? Can everyone else be mistaken? How will it be, if, after all, it is thyself who art wrong, and who art involving in thy error so many souls, who will then be eternally damned?’ ‘Twas so I fought with myself and with Satan, till Christ, by His own infallible word, fortified my heart against these doubts.”—Martyn, pages 372, 373. GC 143.1The pope had threatened Luther with excommunication if he did not recant, and the threat was now fulfilled. A new bull appeared, declaring the Reformer’s final separation from the Roman Church, denouncing him as accursed of Heaven, and including in the same condemnation all who should receive his doctrines. The great contest had been fully entered upon. GC 143.2Opposition is the lot of all whom God employs to present truths specially applicable to their time. There was a present truth in the days of Luther,—a truth at that time of special importance; there is a present truth for the church today. He who does all things according to the counsel of His will has been pleased to place men under various circumstances and to enjoin upon them duties peculiar to the times in which they live and the conditions under which they are placed. If they would prize the light given them, broader views of truth would be opened before them. But truth is no more desired by the majority today than it was by the papists who opposed Luther. There is the same disposition to accept the theories and traditions of men instead of the word of God as in former ages. Those who present the truth for this time should not expect to be received with greater favor than were earlier reformers. The great controversy between truth and error, between Christ and Satan, is to increase in intensity to the close of this world’s history. GC 143.3Said Jesus to His disciples: “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his Lord. If they have persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept My saying, they will keep yours also.” John 15:19, 20. And on the other hand our Lord declared plainly: “Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.” Luke 6:26. The spirit of the world is no more in harmony with the spirit of Christ today than in earlier times, and those who preach the word of God in its purity will be received with no greater favor now than then. The forms of opposition to the truth may change, the enmity may be less open because it is more subtle; but the same antagonism still exists and will be manifested to the end of time. GC 144.1

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coffeeman777 · 4 years

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Bible verses for fighting a serious porn addiction please. I'm 16 and have been stuck here for a long time (2-3 years). I am losing more hope with every relapse. I feel like garbage, I hate myself, and have very little motive or ability to fight the addiction anymore...

Hey friend. I'm really sorry you're struggling like this. I know what you're going through. I was in that very same place years ago. I'll share with you what the Lord gave me to get free.

First, you have to believe and confess the truth: as one who is in Christ, you have the Holy Spirit in you. The Lord God has broken the power of sin over you, and granted you all that you need to overcome. You have the power to throw down your sinful temptations and choose to serve God rather than sin (Romans 6). The first step towards getting free after coming to Christ is receiving this truth by faith. Grab on to it. Confess and believe it.

Then, as you stand in faith believing God's declaration through Paul in Romans 6, you have to begin practicing self-discipline (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). This step will require a lot of grace-enabled effort on your part. It will be hard. But if you keep confessing the truth that Jesus has made you free and the Holy Spirit is in you to help you live a holy life, and you keep giving your all to practicing self-discipline, you will succeed.

It begins in small ways. You learn to tell yourself "no." When you have a craving for something small, like a soda or a piece of candy (or something like that), and there's no reason you can't have it, choose to deny yourself. Refuse to have it just for the sake of self-denial. When that becomes easy, start challenging your flesh in other ways. Allow yourself to be a little too hot, or a little too cold, and refuse to seek comfort. Just endure it. When this gets easy, begin to practice fasting. Go without one meal per week, and give that time to the Lord (if you have a medical condition that prevents you from going without food, then sacrifice something else that you love; give up something you do regularly just for the fun of it and give that time to the Lord). As these exercises get easier, you'll notice that resisting the temptation to seek sexual gratification also becomes easier.

This is half of the battle.

In addition to the above, you must also set up road blocks in your life to keep yourself out of temptation. Figure out what your triggers are, then deliberately rearrange your life so that you consistently stay away from those people / places / situations. Stop ingesting all forms of media with sexual overtones; movies, tv shows, books, music, all of it --anything that enflames your passions. This may make things awkward with others, friends and family who don't understand why you won't partake of whatever the thing is, but stay the course. You'll find that this discipline over time also greatly reduces the strength of the temptations when they come.

And finally, you need to give more of your time to private prayer and worship, and studying the Scriptures. This is the most important part: Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches (John 15). The strength to walk in this dark world as a child of God flows from the Lord Jesus into us as we seek His face and abide in His presence. Regularly spending time in private prayer and worship revitalizes you and gives you great strength for the battles you're facing. Call out to Him for what you need, and trust that He loves you enough to answer you. Minimize your consumption of secular media, limit your time doing secular stuff, and increase the time you spend with the Lord and with other Christians. Get plugged into a good church, and find older Christians that you can confide in. Tell them about your struggles, and ask them for prayer and to keep you accountable.

If you're diligent to do all of these things, victory over your issue is guaranteed. You will eventually be completely free if you just don't stop. You will be holy for the Lord. When you fail, confess, repent, and get back to the fight. Realize that God has given you more grace than you can imagine. He loves you, and He's on your side. God is not angry with you, and He will not reject you. Learn to rest in His grace, and to allow His kindness towards you to spur you onward in your pursuit of holiness for the Lord.

I'm here to talk if you ever need to. I'll be praying for you!

#christianity #jesus #faq

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yhwhrulz · 3 years

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billyjonesmr · 4 years

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"Come unto Me," is His invitation. Whatever your anxieties and trials, spread out your case before the Lord. We should go to Jesus and tell Him all our needs. We may bring Him our little cares and perplexities as well as our greater troubles. Whatever arises to disturb or distress us, we should take it to the Lord in prayer.

Rest yourself wholly in the hands of Jesus. Contemplate His great love, and while you meditate upon His self-denial, His infinite sacrifice made in our behalf in order that we should believe in Him, your heart will be filled with holy joy, calm peace, and indescribable love. We abide in Him, and feel at home with Jesus. The promises flow into the soul. Our peace is like a river, wave after wave of glory rolls into the heart, and indeed we sup with Jesus and He with us. We have a realizing sense of the love of God, and we rest in His love.

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thelostpilgrim · 4 years

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Freedom From the Known, by Jiddu Krishnamurti

Man has throughout the ages been seeking something beyond himself, beyond material welfare – something we call truth or God or reality, a timeless state – something that cannot be disturbed by circumstances, by thought or by human corruption.

Man has always asked the question: what is it all about? Has life any meaning at all? He sees the enormous confusion of life, the brutalities, the revolt, the wars, the endless divisions of religion, ideology and nationality, and with a sense of deep abiding frustration he asks, what is one to do, what is this thing we call living, is there anything beyond it?

And not finding this nameless thing of a thousand names which he has always sought, he has cultivated faith – faith in a saviour or an ideal – and faith invariably breeds violence.

In this constant battle which we call living, we try to set a code of conduct according to the society in which we are brought up, whether it be a Communist society or a so-called free society; we accept a standard of behaviour as part of our tradition as Hindus or Muslims or Christians or whatever we happen to be. We look to someone to tell us what is right or wrong behaviour, what is right or wrong thought, and in following this pattern our conduct and our thinking become mechanical, our responses automatic. We can observe this very easily in ourselves.

We Have Been Spoon-Fed by Our Teachers

For centuries we have been spoon-fed by our teachers, by our authorities, by our books, our saints. We say, `Tell me all about it – what lies beyond the hills and the mountains and the earth?’ and we are satisfied with their descriptions, which means that we live on words and our life is shallow and empty. We are second-hand people. We have lived on what we have been told, either guided by our inclinations, our tendencies, or compelled to accept by circumstances and environment. We are the result of all kinds of influences and there is nothing new in us, nothing that we have discovered for ourselves; nothing original, pristine, clear.

Throughout theological history we have been assured by religious leaders that if we perform certain rituals, repeat certain prayers or mantras, conform to certain patterns, suppress our desires, control our thoughts, sublimate our passions, limit our appetites and refrain from sexual indulgence, we shall, after sufficient torture of the mind and body, find something beyond this little life. And that is what millions of so-called religious people have done through the ages, either in isolation, going off into the desert or into the mountains or a cave or wandering from village to village with a begging bowl, or, in a group, joining a monastery, forcing their minds to conform to an established pattern. But a tortured mind, a broken mind, a mind which wants to escape from all turmoil, which has denied the outer world and been made dull through discipline and conformity – such a mind, however long it seeks, will find only according to its own distortion.

So to discover whether there actually is or is not something beyond this anxious, guilty, fearful, competitive existence, it seems to me that one must have a completely different approach altogether. The traditional approach is from the periphery inwards, and through time, practice and renunciation, gradually to come upon that inner flower, that inner beauty and love – in fact to do everything to make oneself narrow, petty and shoddy; peel off little by little; take time; tomorrow will do, next life will do – and when at last one comes to the centre one finds there is nothing there, because one’s mind has been made incapable, dull and insensitive.

Having observed this process, one asks oneself, is there not a different approach altogether – that is, is it not possible to explode from the centre?

The First Step is to Reject the Traditional Approach

The world accepts and follows the traditional approach. The primary cause of disorder in ourselves is the seeking of reality promised by another; we mechanically follow somebody who will assure us a comfortable spiritual life. It is a most extraordinary thing that although most of us are opposed to political tyranny and dictatorship, we inwardly accept the authority, the tyranny, of another to twist our minds and our way of life. So fl we completely reject, not intellectually but actually, all so-called spiritual authority, all ceremonies, rituals and dogmas, it means that we stand alone and are already in conflict with society; we cease to be respectable human beings. A respectable human being cannot possibly come near to that infinite, immeasurable, reality.

You have now started by denying something absolutely false – the traditional approach – but if you deny it as a reaction you will have created another pattern in which you will be trapped; if you tell yourself intellectually that this denial is a very good idea but do nothing about it, you cannot go any further. If you deny it however, because you understand the stupidity and immaturity of it, if you reject it with tremendous intelligence, because you are free and not frightened, you will create a great disturbance in yourself and around you but you will step out of the trap of respectability. Then you will find that you are no longer seeking. That is the first thing to learn – not to seek. When you seek you are really only window-shopping.

The question of whether or not there is a God or truth or reality, or whatever you like to call it, can never be answered by books, by priests, philosophers or saviours. Nobody and nothing can answer the question but you yourself and that is why you must know yourself. Immaturity lies only in total ignorance of self. To understand yourself is the beginning of wisdom.

And what is yourself, the individual you? I think there is a difference between the human being and the individual. The individual is a local entity, living in a particular country, belonging to a particular culture, particular society, particular religion. The human being is not a local entity. He is everywhere. If the individual merely acts in a particular corner of the vast field of life, then his action is totally unrelated to the whole. So one has to bear in mind that we are talking of the whole not the part, because in the greater the lesser is, but in the lesser the greater is not. The individual is the little conditioned, miserable, frustrated entity, satisfied with his little gods and his little traditions, whereas a human being is concerned with the total welfare, the total misery and total confusion of the world.

We human beings are what we have been for millions of years — colossally greedy, envious, aggressive, jealous, anxious and despairing, with occasional flashes of joy and affection. We are a strange mixture of hate, fear and gentleness; we are both violence and peace. There has been outward progress from the bullock cart to the jet plane but psychologically the individual has not changed at all, and the structure of society throughout the world has been created by individuals. The outward social structure is the result of the inward psychological structure of our human relationships, for the individual is the result of the total experience, knowledge and conduct of man. Each one of us is the storehouse of all the past. The individual is the human who is all mankind. The whole history of man is written in ourselves.

Observe What is Taking Place Within and Outside Yourself

Do observe what is actually taking place within yourself and outside yourself in the competitive culture in which you live with its desire for power, position, prestige, name, success and all the rest of it – observe the achievements of which you are so proud, this whole field you call living in which there is conflict in every form of relationship, breeding hatred, antagonism, brutality and endless wars. This field, this life, is all we know, and being unable to understand the enormous battle of existence we are naturally afraid of it and find escape from it in all sorts of subtle ways. And we are frightened also of the unknown – frightened of death, frightened of what lies beyond tomorrow. So we are afraid of the known and afraid of the unknown. That is our daily life and in that there is no hope, and therefore every form of philosophy, every form of theological concept, is merely an escape from the actual reality of what is.

All outward forms of change brought about by wars, revolutions, reformations, laws and ideologies have failed completely to change the basic nature of man and therefore of society. As human beings living in this monstrously ugly world, let us ask ourselves, can this society, based on competition, brutality and fear, come to an end? Not as an intellectual conception, not as a hope, but as an actual fact, so that the mind is made fresh, new and innocent and can bring about a different world altogether? It can only happen, I think, if each one of us recognises the central fact that we, as individuals, as human beings, in whatever part of the world we happen to live or whatever culture we happen to belong to, are totally responsible for the whole state of the world.

We are each one of us responsible for every war because of the aggressiveness of our own lives, because of our nationalism, our selfishness, our gods, our prejudices, our ideals, all of which divide us. And only when we realize, not intellectually but actually, as actually as we would recognise that we are hungry or in pain, that you and I are responsible for all this existing chaos, for all the misery throughout the entire world because we have contributed to it in our daily lives and are part of this monstrous society with its wars, divisions, its ugliness, brutality and greed – only then will we act.

But what can a human being do – what can you and I do – to create a completely different society? We are asking ourselves a very serious question. Is there anything to be done at all? What can we do? Will somebody tell us? People have told us. The so-called spiritual leaders, who are supposed to understand these things better than we do, have told us by trying to twist and mould us into a new pattern, and that hasn’t led us very far; sophisticated and learned men have told us and that has led us no further. We have been told that all paths lead to truth – you have your path as a Hindu and someone else has his path as a Christian and another as a Muslim, and they all meet at the same door – which is, when you look at it, so obviously absurd. Truth has no path, and that is the beauty of truth, it is living. A dead thing has a path to it because it is static, but when you see that truth is something living, moving, which has no resting place, which is in no temple, mosque or church, which no religion, no teacher, no philosopher, nobody can lead you to – then you will also see that this living thing is what you actually are – your anger, your brutality, your violence, your despair, the agony and sorrow you live in. In the understanding of all this is the truth, and you can understand it only if you know how to look at those things in your life. And you cannot look through an ideology, through a screen of words, through hopes and fears.

There is No Guide, Teacher or Authority

So you see that you cannot depend upon anybody. There is no guide, no teacher, no authority. There is only you – your relationship with others and with the world – there is nothing else. When you realize this, it either brings great despair, from which comes cynicism and bitterness, or, in facing the fact that you and nobody else is responsible for the world and for yourself, for what you think, what you feel, how you act, all self-pity goes. Normally we thrive on blaming others, which is a form of self-pity.

Can you and I, then, bring about in ourselves without any outside influence, without any persuasion, without any fear of punishment – can we bring about in the very essence of our being a total revolution, a psychological mutation, so that we are no longer brutal, violent, competitive, anxious, fearful, greedy, envious and all the rest of the manifestations of our nature which have built up the rotten society in which we live our daily lives?

It is important to understand from the very beginning that I am not formulating any philosophy or any theological structure of ideas or theological concepts. It seems to me that all ideologies are utterly idiotic. What is important is not a philosophy of life but to observe what is actually taking place in our daily life, inwardly and outwardly. If you observe very closely what is taking place and examine it, you will see that it is based on an intellectual conception, and the intellect is not the whole field of existence; it is a fragment, and a fragment, however cleverly put together, however ancient and traditional, is still a small part of existence whereas we have to deal with the totality of life. And when we look at what is taking place in the world we begin to understand that there is no outer and inner process; there is only one unitary process, it is a whole, total movement, the inner movement expressing itself as the outer and the outer reacting again on the inner. To be able to look at this seems to me all that is needed, because if we know how to look, then the whole thing becomes very clear, and to look needs no philosophy, no teacher. Nobody need tell you how to look. You just look.

Can you then, seeing this whole picture, seeing it not verbally but actually, can you easily, spontaneously, transform yourself? That is the real issue. Is it possible to bring about a complete revolution in the psyche?

I wonder what your reaction is to such a question? You may say, `I don’t want to change’, and most people don’t, especially those who are fairly secure socially and economically or who hold dogmatic beliefs and are content to accept themselves and things as they are or in a slightly modified form. With those people we are not concerned. Or you may say more subtly, `Well, it’s too difficult, it’s not for me’, in which case you will have already blocked yourself, you will have ceased to enquire and it will be no use going any further. Or else you may say, `I see the necessity for a fundamental inward change in myself but how am I to bring it about? Please show me the way, help me towards it.’ If you say that, then what you are concerned with is not change itself; you are not really interested in a fundamental revolution: you are merely searching for a method, a system, to bring about change.

You Won’t Find a System Within These Words

If I were foolish enough to give you a system and if you were foolish enough to follow it, you would merely be copying, imitating, conforming, accepting, and when you do that you have set up in yourself the authority of another and hence there is conflict between you and that authority. You feel you must do such and such a thing because you have been told to do it and yet you are incapable of doing it. You have your own particular inclinations, tendencies and pressures which conflict with the system you think you ought to follow and therefore there is a contradiction. So you will lead a double life between the ideology of the system and the actuality of your daily existence. In trying to conform to the ideology, you suppress yourself – whereas what is actually true is not the ideology but what you are. If you try to study yourself according to another you will always remain a second-hand human being.

A man who says, `I want to change, tell me how to’, seems very earnest, very serious, but he is not. He wants an authority whom he hopes will bring about order in himself. But can authority ever bring about inward order? Order imposed from without must always breed disorder.

You may see the truth of this intellectually but can you actually apply it so that your mind no longer projects any authority, the authority of a book, a teacher, a wife or husband, a parent, a friend or of society? Because we have always functioned within the pattern of a formula, the formula becomes the ideology and the authority; but the moment you really see that the question, `How can I change?’ sets up a new authority, you have finished with authority for ever.

Let us state it again clearly: I see that I must change completely from the roots of my being; I can no longer depend on any tradition because tradition has brought about this colossal laziness, acceptance and obedience; I cannot possibly look to another to help me to change, not to any teacher, any God, any belief, any system, any outside pressure or influence. What then takes place?

First of all, can you reject all authority? If you can it means that you are no longer afraid. Then what happens? When you reject something false which you have been carrying about with you for generations, when you throw off a burden of any kind, what takes place? You have more energy, haven’t you? You have more capacity, more drive, greater intensity and vitality. If you do not feel this, then you have not thrown off the burden, you have not discarded the dead weight of authority.

Activating Your Life Force Begins Now

But when you have thrown it off and have this energy in which there is no fear at all — no fear of making a mistake, no fear of doing right or wrong — then is not that energy itself the mutation? We need a tremendous amount of energy and we dissipate it through fear but when there is this energy which comes from throwing off every form of fear, that energy itself produces the radical inward revolution. You do not have to do a thing about it.

So you are left with yourself, and that is the actual state for a man to be who is very serious about all this; and as you are no longer looking to anybody or anything for help, you are already free to discover. And when there is freedom, there is energy; and when there is freedom it can never do anything wrong. Freedom is entirely different from revolt. There is no such thing as doing right or wrong when there is freedom. You are free and from that centre you act. And hence there is no fear, and a mind that has no fear is capable of great love. And when there is love it can do what it will.

What we are now going to do, therefore, is to learn about ourselves, not according to me or to some analyst or philosopher – because if we learn about ourselves according to someone else, we learn about them, not ourselves – we are going to learn what we actually are.

Having realized that we can depend on no outside authority in bringing about a total revolution within the structure of our own psyche, there is the immensely greater difficulty of rejecting our own inward authority, the authority of our own particular little experiences and accumulated opinions, knowledge, ideas and ideals. You had an experience yesterday which taught you something and what it taught you becomes a new authority – and that authority of yesterday is as destructive as the authority of a thousand years. To understand ourselves needs no authority either of yesterday or of a thousand years because we are living things, always moving, flowing, never resting. When we look at ourselves with the dead authority of yesterday, we will fail to understand the living movement and the beauty and quality of that movement.

To be free of all authority, of your own and that of another, is to die to everything of yesterday, so that your mind is always fresh, always young, innocent, full of vigour and passion. It is only in that state that one learns and observes. And for this a great deal of awareness is required, actual awareness of what is going on inside yourself, without correcting it or telling it what it should or should not be, because the moment you correct it you have established another authority, a censor.

Investigating Ourselves Together

So now we are going to investigate ourselves together — not one person explaining while you read, agreeing or disagreeing with him as you follow the words on the page, but taking a journey together, a journey of discovery into the most secret corners of our minds. And to take such a journey we must travel light; we cannot be burdened with opinions, prejudices and conclusions – all that old furniture we have collected for the last two thousand years and more. Forget all you know about yourself; forget all you have ever thought about yourself; we are going to start as if we knew nothing.

It rained last night heavily, and now the skies are beginning to clear; it is a new fresh day. Let us meet that fresh day as if it were the only day. Let us start on our journey together with all the remembrance of yesterday left behind – and begin to understand ourselves for the first time.

How this one revelation changed my life

I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.

I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.

I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.

What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.

If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.

Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.

I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.

Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.

As the founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.

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