#aaaaa i'm rambling... orz

[merakiui]

scara smut when. - :) anon

Hopefully soon! >:D Currently, these are the fics you can expect to see in the near future:

✧ azul thought four - scheduled for 21 december. nine months of hard work can finally be posted!!! i'm very excited. i think this is the longest smut piece i've ever written.

✧ yandere!scaramouche - no posting date for this one as it's still a wip. but i've written half of it, so it could very well be posted shortly after azul thought four! since i wrote a story in which scaramouche receives therapy and gets better, i decided to write a story in which he gets progressively worse. it's set in a modern au and is written from scara's pov!

✧ chills & thrills stories - i hope to finish and post both dottore's and scaramouche's stories in the upcoming future!

✧ scara smut. there are plenty of ideas in my head. i will have to sift through all of them and decide which is best, so until then i hope the other fics can be enjoyed! :D

#genshin chit chat #:) anon #to fill the void you can expect scara thirsts will be posted #i am so in love with him <3 #and there are so many concepts i want to write with him #like scara who you online date and he is quite literally crazy for you #or a story in which you worked under scara when he was a harbinger #and when he leaves you (by some miracle) attain a harbinger position #and when you encounter scara again and he looks different and seems less hostile than usual #his feelings for you are unearthed once more hehe #or more alpha scara in omegaverse (or thoughts of the other characters in omegaverse)!! #also stalker scara!!!! #stalker scara who stalks you enough to know which love hotels you go to for your one night stands #so when he acts like your match and you don't question anything he can finally have a few hours alone with you #aaaaa i'm rambling... orz #at this point i think i should write a catalogue of scara thoughts to compile everything in one coherent post

[alikestory]

mostly rambling about writing my webcomic...

i was doing the typesetting for the next chapter and there's this one part where i was like, i need to explain what this person is referring to for this scene to have any weight. i'll just write a quick backstory thing~

anyway it's. as long as a normal chapter nowwwww :'^) INEVITABLY. i still have one little scene left to write dfghj

generally this arc keeps getting LONGER ;___; i know how it ends and i'm like "wait is this going to have any impact if i don't write something about that??" and in general there are lots of things i know about the characters that aren't in the comic and i'm like DOES IT MATTER???? i don't know.... :'3 (like, not stuff that's going to be revealed later just kinda mundane things that happened before the story starts. but then i hate it when a manga has an entire volume dedicated to one side character's backstory and i'd like my webcomic to END ONE DAY.........)

okay so i wasn't like "i'll just write a quick backstory thing~ tee hee~" I SAID IT BLEAKLY. RESIGNED TO MY FATE.

it is mostly the character in question narrating some stuff so i thought okay i'll do it nagata kabi style and i can totally finish this and another 21 page chapter in two months. i mean her manga is in a simple kinda sketchy style and there's a lot of narration but it's interesting....... anyway that's my current plan. basically how shitty can i get away with this looking..... and what if i made it pink like my lesbian experience with loneliness.......... but i don't want people to see it and think of nagata kabi necessarily i just like pink. MY WEBSITE IS ALREADY PINK. IT'S FINE. NO ONE WOULD EVEN NOTICE. also being like "hey remember this completely unrelated and also way better manga???" at the very beginning of a 30-40 page update. :'^) BAD IDEA.

anyway i own (i can't think of a way to abbreviate this title sdfg why is it so long) my lesbian experience with loneliness but i want to read her newer books too. i think i read exchange diary at a library and found it kinda boring tho? .-.;; ig it's not as sensational as long title. less sex appeal. (that is a joke.)

SEEING THE NEWER TITLES IS. bleak. this poor woman what the hell. like reading long title you'd expect things to get better for her and it's not like her manga hasn't been successful either..... it's kind of depressing, i put them on hold at the library but DO I REALLY WANT TO KNOW???

also somewhat self-conscious about my library holds u__u;;; having three volumes of manga in the first place. whenever i put manga on hold i worry they'll think i don't read real books..... (because i DON'T. i put left hand of darkness & house of leaves on hold too but i've had both of them out before and just never actually read them........ THIS TIME I'M GOING TO. I SWEAR.) i also took impossible people out a few months ago so what if they can see my reading history and are like "why do you read so many comic books about alcoholics??" BUT NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WILL HAPPEN. i just have an anxiety disorder :v

aaaaa i also don't even know if this backstory flashback thingy is enough.... I MEAN. I GET IT NOW. I KNOW WHY THEY DRAW AN ENTIRE VOLUME OF VILLAGER E'S BACKSTORY. (actually when i think of this phenomenon i think specifically of fai from tsubasa orz;;;; I'M SORRY.) AND. OKAY. IT'S SO EMBARRASSING.

nothing i'm saying or will continue to say is helping my case for Dear Library Employees, I Swear To God I Don't Just Read Comic Books (about alcoholics. i also read comics about other stuff.)

there was some comedy/romance shojo manga i read back in high school and i think the offenders here were by the same author but i don't remember who for sure :v anyway there were a bunch where something serious was about to happen or the characters were finally going to be honest with each other and then they'd have some kinda joke and it would always annoy me bc as we have established i love some sensational drama :v

BUT I GET IT NOW ;_____; THAT IMPULSE...... it's hard to write a sincere and emotional moment and be like WHAT IF IT DOESN'T LAND????? it's so obvious what i'm trying to do that if people go "i don't buy it" then i'll just DIE I GUESS?????????

but you have to try u__u you HAVE TO.

#anyway #here's wonderwall

[izzyizumi]

( TAGS )

#izzyizumi tag rambles #izzyizumi rambles #izzyizumi personal #izzyizumi personal rambles #izzyizumi personal commentary #(but honestly I'M SO RELIEVED if people do like the tags I leave AAAA) #(I TRY) #(BECAUSE I'M TOO SHY TO LEAVE COMMENTS ON THE POSTS ITSELF) #(AND IT'S PROBABLY BETTER NOT TO DO THAT YEAH like AT LEAST TAGS ARE MORE EASILY IGNORED if wanted orz) #(AND THEN I'M JUST WAY TOO SHY TO GO TO ASKBOXES ETC. TO LEAVE COMMENTS SO ..... YEAH) #(I HOPE TAGS COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED TOO aaaaa;;;;) #(it's how I leave feedback basically yes) #(and just) #(it means a lot to me) #(to hear they're appreciated) #(I'm always second guessing myself on if I should leave tags at all tbh) #(SO YES I'M REALLY HAPPY IF PEOPLE ENJOY THEM like I JUST REALLY WANT TO GUSH OVER CONTENTS YES ;;;;;) #(;;;; and just not as related ... maybe but a few bad fandom experiences recently left me feeling really uncertain about a LOT of things) #(;;; so just MY FACE WHEN people ... do enjoy what I have to say ;;;;;) #(like 'wait you actually like this??-----' -ME ;;;;) #(BUT YEAH when it comes to tags I leave on posts) #(if they're ever like. feeling too personal to you or something etc PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BOP ME AND LET ME KNOW ;;;;;) #(because that's the last thing I want orz) #(andlike I can never figure.out how personal is 'too personal' OOF) #non digimon #(kind of) #(more fandom related)

[koushirouizumi]

( VIBRATES EXCITEDLY TAGS )

#koushirouizumi tag rambles #koushirouizumi rambles #koushirouizumi amv making #koushirouizumi text #koushirouizumi fic thoughts #(OK I DO KINDA WANNA DO THESE SILHOUETTE LIKE AMVS NOW) #(I'M GETTING IDEAS FOR A CERTAIN. TAICHI. A CERTAIN TAICHI. YEAH. CERTAIN. LOOKS AT KAGEDAZE AMV. HA) #(there was that one particular line that was more Kage//pros plot related orz BUT IF I KINDA ignore it) #(I CAN KINDA make it work thinking on it I did... write a thing .... that still implied similar ..... y e a h) #(still not def direct parody though so pls don't go into Kage//pros thinking so) #(BUT LIKE) #(TAICHI) #(A CERTAIN TAICHI) #(CRIES BECAUSE TAICHI) #(OK BUT ALSO THIS SONG IS SUPER COOL DESPITE THE POV OF THE CHARACTER IT'S FOR) #(IT HAS THIS REALLY COOL DRUMS SOLO AT A CERTAIN POINT AND I'M GETTING IDEAS FOR THAT) #(AND THE PARTS BEFORE TOO AND JUST. AAAAAA I LOVE AMVS I NEED MORE SONGS INSPIRATION FOR AMVS BUT) #(I STILL LOVE AMVS AAAAA THANK YOU TOO KAGE//PROS AND JIN FOR MY LIFE) #(I WANNA FINISH CHILDREN//RECORD AMV TOO I LOVE THE FINISHING TOUCHES THOUGHTS I HAVE FOR THIS AAAA) #(@ SELF FINISH IT. FINISH IT. THEN DO CERTAIN TAICHI MAYBE BC IT'S EASIER. MAYBE ANOTHER. THEN 'RED') #(AND ANY OF THOSE OTHERS YOU HAD PLANNED YEAH) #(WOW I HATE I MEAN LOVE DIGIMON ADVENTURES) #('seriously do you ever shut up about Digi//mon or Tai//shiro' ME YELLING INTO THE DISTANCE 'N O YOU CAN'T MAKE ME') #(ANYWAY JUST VIBRATES EXCITEDLY IT'LL TAKE ME MONTHS TO DO THIS PROBABLY TOO BUT JUST VIBRATES EXCITEDLY) #koushirouizumi positive

[merakiui]

you dreamt scara kissed you 😳😳😳 uuuu that's so sweet...

once I had a dream that azul gave me his credit card to use for some reason and I bought something really small (like worth 8 bucks or so) and ended up calling him on my phone and being super adamant that I would pay him back and how I really didn't want to spend anything in the first place. I remember he sounded really distracted and kind of hushed, so I asked if I called at a bad time or if he was busy to which he replied "....no, of course not. I'm completely free" turns out he was most definitely not free, and I called him while he was in a business meeting. and being the simp he is, he picked it up right away in front of everyone before leaving the room lmao

I wish I had more blorbo dreams esp romantic ones like you had with scara but my brain would rather it show me getting chased endlessly instead 👉👈

Holding that dream close to my heart!! <3 it was so sweet, too. We were holding eye contact for the longest time and he whispered, "Can I kiss you?" with the most sincere, softest expression ever and omg!!! It was a romantic film moment! >0<

Aaaa that's so cute!!!! Azul will always be a simp no matter where he is. (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) How generous of him to lend his credit card!!!! He is a sweetheart when he truly cares hehe!! I like that he will always choose you even when he's in a business meeting. Business is not nearly as important as answering a phone call from his crush. >:D

I wish I could have more romantic dreams as well! Although speaking of being chased, I do remember I had a dream where Floyd kept chasing me down and confessing over and over. I'm pretty sure that dream ended with lots of kisses lol. I am not immune to the love language of eels. There was also a vivid dream I had in which I pulled Halloween Jade back when I was fighting for my life trying to summon him, and when I logged into twst that morning (fully expecting to see Halloween Jade) I was disheartened to realize it had only happened in the dream. T_T

#twisted chit chat #dubioussupernova #i think i may have to write more fluff with scara after having that cute dream :D #he will definitely need it after the agony i will put him through in the upcoming mouchey fic #although i'm very tempted to write a plot in which a god (nahida) gives scaramouche a second chance after taking pity on him #so she allows him to redo his entire life #and he accepts her offer (though he scoffs at her sympathy) #but in his attempt to right wrongs and get proper successful revenge he loses the only one who truly cared for him (his darling) #and so now he has to go through this new version of his life in search of you #all while clinging to the hope that you'll recognize him and love him all over again #each time he finds himself unsuccessful nahida allows him to restart but things only get more obscure with every reset #and scara learns that revenge isn't worth it if he can't have love #it sounds more like angst than fluff but if i ever write it the ending will definitely be fluffy #scara deserves it <3 #aaaaa i'm rambling please excuse it orz

[merakiui]

thinking about writing a fanfic with self-aware twst, but the characters are aware they're in a fanfic. orz it may sound silly, but i think it would be fun to write something where [insert yan!twst character here] just interrupts the plot and addresses the reader specifically with something like: "you're probably not even inserting your real name, right, (name)?"

perhaps it's too meta, but it's so interesting to me?? i haven't the faintest clue how i'd go about writing a fic like that with an intriguing plot that progressively gets more horrifying as it goes on, and it'd likely be more of an experimental fic than anything. but omg it would be so fun to write.

hmmm,,, maybe i could use epistolary format, whether in the form of letters (to the reader) or diary entries. something where the character realizes they're in a fanfic and can only do so much, so they write their own little notes to the reader. or it's placed between the words or certain words are in another color (like red or blue) and it spells a message if you take all of the words and put them together. :O

so essentially you'd be reading a completely normal yan!twst fanfic, but when you put the words together it's the twst character addressing you and not the (name) you're meant to project onto.

AAAAA T_T i'm sorry for senseless ramblings. this is what happens when i think too much about the meta nature of a yan!rook fic i have planned.

#meraki mumbles #now who will be my lab rat for this experiment......... #octavinelle is put on the bench this time because i need to try something new #OH OH :O a yan!jamil fic but it's kalim who's giving you the message throughout the story hmmmmmmmmm #utilizing kalim's sunshine personality to deliver the most unsettling secret message ever... #methinks there is potential >:)

[merakiui]

I ended up listening to it and "Ah, It's a Wonderful Cat Life" IS so Floyd... I see the Floyd cat vision!! Yknow I was also considering how it may be to have both cat eels btw. Imagining them fighting for their owner's attention is so fun. This was sort of brought up with the puppyboy Floyd thing from one of your other asks but I could absolutely see the two of them arguing about something (though imagining them arguing about You makes this sillier to me personally) and it getting to where Jade is totally faking being upset/scared or maybe even being injured if it got to that point so that you give him even more attention when he comes running over to you after while Floyd is probably getting told off for being just so mean to his brother. Jade getting scratched behind the ears and held (maybe even making faces at Floyd when you aren't looking at him because he so just lost) while Floyd is sitting there being forced to apologize to him. So so silly.

Also can catboys purr? I'm going to be honest I have absolutely no idea. But also sorta relating to Floyd being glued to you after taking him in,, Floyd who keeps laying down on top of you at night (or weaseling his way into your bed so he's holding you,, so you're trapped in his arms) so you're stuck under with him when you're supposed to be getting up in the morning (or really.. floyd who keeps turning off your morning alarms. which he could so also do but him crushing you is sillier)... and really you can't just Move him... pushing him off just doesn't really go your way! But also he'd look so happy with himself. Purring if he could do that (which is why I bought it up. totally related! :3). Would really want to ruin that?? 🤨 Totally not. You're stuck here with him now! That's just how it is.

But I totally get you about the vision btw!! The grip a good plot can have on a person </3 goodness gracious. Also I'm going to be honest when I first started reading your work it made me want to start writing again. While I haven't,, I so totally get wanting to write Jade, etc unrestrained. It seems SO fun !! Perhaps one day I'll get to it. and if I do I probably will show up again to tell you about it lol

I am gonna try and catch up on a much of the previews as I can before TMDG comes out 🫡 if I remember to. Also Im sorry my asks have been so long like every time I come through I have such an issue with rambling 😭 I'm sure it's fine but goodness I'm making you put in work to get through my asks /j

- :3 anon

Aaaaa I'm so happy you can see the catboy Floyd vision!!!! >0< "ah, it's a wonderful cat life" is so very Floyd. <3 and I love the idea of the twins arguing over you; they're too silly!! Jade taking every opportunity to act hurt or upset after an argument with Floyd, and it works on you every time. T_T so now Floyd has to grumble out an apology just so he won't make you sad, and Jade is basking in the attention he gets from you while Floyd's silently scowling. Whether a puppyboy or a catboy, he will always have issues with Jade when it comes to you and your love. orz

:O maybe they can purr!!! In my mind, yes to that question a million times!!!! I would do anything to hear little purrs and mrrps from catboy Floyd!!!!!!!! Omg the image of this big catboy eel lying on top of you in bed and being so content and eepy....... 🥺 it's both silly and cute. You can't move him because he's so heavy, and even if you do manage to push him off he's just going to come back and cling to you even harder. >:) he will have his cuddle time with his shrimpy!! You're never getting rid of him; he's here to stay forever. :D

The Vision is always recurring... orz there are so many things I always want to write, so it's gripping me in a chokehold. ;;; but I'm so happy to hear my works can inspire you to start writing again! I hope if you ever do get back into it you will have lots of motivation forever!!! Please tell me all about it if and when you do. <3 also also!!! Writing Jade is so much fun. I recommend it hehe!! :3c

There are many tmdg previews scattered within my blog, so I hope you can enjoy them!!!! Jade is silly in most, if not all, of them. And please don't worry for long asks!!! I love reading asks of all kinds, especially the ones with passionate ramblings. Please feel free to write as much as you would like in your messages!! <3

#twisted chit chat #:3 anon #33k words..... jade you're wringing me out and i'm not the eel here!!! orz

[merakiui]

First thing first, I must apologize for the upcoming ramble in all caps that I'm abt to place in your ask. Now that's out of the way, let's get in to this.

Okay, so I've now finished TMDG and all I can say is:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY FUCKING SHIT--

THAT WAS SO WORTH THE WAIT OH MY GODD-- You've outdone yourself once again, Mera. YOU REALLY COOKED AND SERVED THIS ONE. MIGHT I SAY, YOU"VE BESTOWED US WITH A MAGNIFICENT FEAST 👏👏👏 😭😭😭✨✨✨

I really am unable to put my thoughts into words; they all just come out incoherent. Like, HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO DRAG ME EVEN DEEPER INTO JADE LEECH HELL??? I AM EXPERIENCING SO MANY EMOTIONS THROUGHOUT READING THIS PIECE THAT I"M NO LONGER ON A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE ー NO, I"VE ASCENDED TO AN EMOTIONAL PLANE I DON'T THINK ANY MAN COULD DESCRIBE OTZ OTZ OTZ

Memes for visualization:

When you said MC was gonna be obsessive towards Floyd I was not expecting it to be that obsessive (not as hardcore as our Jade here, but i don't think no one could ever compare to our eel here). SHE"S SO DELUSIONAL I"M CACKLING-- and AAAAA SHE REALLY IS PERFECT WITH JADE, they truly are a match made in madness <3 I really love their banter, like they're already married to each other for decades and more (and god they will)

I was so filled with suspicion reading this fic cause the switch between Jade to Floyd really got me, "Is this really really Floyd??". It's nice to see that my suspicion came to fruition in the most agonizing way :))

AND JADE!!! Jadeee 🥺🥺🥺 how can you make one eel so- so-- UGHHHH infuriating?? So devious?? So gentle?? So loving?? So terrifying?? So many things at once that i can't help but put my feelings in a salad spinner??? Every moment that he was just being fluffy really got me swooning, only to get the reminder that he's indeed a cunning slippery eel (which just makes me fall even harder for him). Oohhh when he laid his feelings bare to be seen, when he's just... honest about it. He's just soo so so in love i just want to cry about it ueueueue..

I also like when MC is like: "I can never tell what goes thru Jade's head."

Jade: *Says the most poetic shit abt how he adores her like she's the moon.*

MC: "HE"S LYING!!"

Truly, i think TMDG has become my favorite fic of all time <33 this is such a wonderful way to end my year ✨✨

And so to end my ask, Happy New Years Mera!! Thank you for writing The Most Dangerous Game and all the other wonderful writings that have accompanied me throughout this year <33 Really, your posts are some of things I always look forward to read everyday. Wishin you another wonderful year to come, and hope you take care ✨✨💕💕

AAAAAAA OMG OMG THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU SO SO SOSOSO MUCH!!!!! ♡(╥﹏╥) I'm very happy knowing it was worth the wait and that it could make you feel so many emotions!!!! It is my job to drag everyone even further into Jade hell!!!! >:D

Reader is so delusional omg!!! She's so silly... I loved writing her interactions with Jade because she really is just so perfect for him. orz delusional x obsessive...... waaaa truly the most crazy match of all time! They're so perfect for each other, but neither realizes it yet. Reader, you're pining for the wrong eel!!!!! I hoped to convey just how naturally Jade and Reader click, whereas with Floyd there's some sort of awkward strain. >_< Jade and Reader are so married!!!!!!! <3 Azul can be the priest and Floyd can be best eel at their wedding because Jade couldn't have done it if it weren't for Floyd (and Reader's obsessive attachment to him).

Jade is so many things in this fic,,, a conniving eel at heart. >:( but I love him when he's like that. I'm so happy he had you swooning!!! For all of his sleazy ways, he's extremely sweet when he's so gentle and honest about his feelings. AAAAA HE'S SO HEAD OVER HEELS/FINS FOR YOU!!!!!!! (∩˃o˂∩) and I'm glad you liked those parts of Reader being unable to believe a thing Jade says. T_T he is opening his chest for her to explain the truths locked away in his heart, and she's still questioning it......

Thank you so very much for reading TMDG and for writing such a kind message!!! I love those reaction images as well LOL. They illustrate how I felt while writing this story hehe!! <3 I am wishing you the happiest of new year!!!!!!! Thank you for accompanying me through 2023! :D sending you lots of love and wonderful things for your 2024!!!!!!!! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

#sweet messages #heyyy11

[merakiui]

New game plan! TMDG for New Years to also welcome New Years Jade ;)

AAAAA that is so tempting,,, releasing tmdg on the new year to celebrate Jade's New Years SR.......... but I'm much too impatient to wait any longer now that the draft is finished. T^T I would like to post tmdg soon and ramble about all of the symbolism and little details and emotional nuances and !!!!!!! orz orz waaaaaa it's too exciting!!! Also, I wouldn't want to make those who are anticipating it wait any longer now that this is the end stretch!!! :D

The first round of editing has been complete. Now I will go back to edit a second time and then, if not for a third edit, I will be able to post it!!! Forgive me for my lengthy process. >_< but thank you to everyone for patiently awaiting it!!!!!!!!

#twisted chit chat #new years jade.............. he is so beloved omg

[merakiui]

how do you manage to write for scaramouche so well?? ❤😭 it may be because i havent played genshin before. but. you srsly have me simping HARDCORE for this man, to the point that i wanna get in on the action too and write something of him for myself!!!- but as someone whose barely wrote before and struggles with dialogue sm, it feels impossibly difficult.. may i ask for some tips or advice abt this, if youre up for it ofc? and this is off topic but i also want to say that i enjoy reading every single writing of yours, and im very very thankful to you for even choosing to post them in the first place. reading something that you write will always make my day sm better and i appreciate you so much. im so sry this became so long rn, but i wish you a day as hardcorely wonderful as youve made me simp so hardcorely for scaramouche!!! (it was sounding better in myhead NOO. in all seriousness tho i wish you the best day ever possible, THANK YOU!!! you should be super duper proud of yourself for making these masterpieces and i srsly hope you are, even tho i know its hard to feel this way abt your own work!!!)

AAAAA this is so sweet... 🥺 thank you for enjoying my writings and the way I portray Scara!!!! (੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭♡ I'm glad you can love and simp for him!!!!!! He deserves many fans!!!! >3< and I'm grateful to know my works can make you happy!!! I wish you the most amazing, hardcorely wonderful day as well!!!!!! 💖💖

As for advice I'm not sure if it's advice for writing dialogue or Scara, but I can share my thoughts for both!!! :D dialogue is fun because, while it's still conversational, it can come in many forms depending on the context and dynamic/relationship between the characters. For example, dialogue between a boss and their secretary will be different from that of dialogue between close friends. Real-life conversations aren't perfect; we stutter, repeat words, trail off in what we're saying, ramble, interrupt, use fillers like "um" or "ah," and so on. Adding these elements into dialogue between characters can help it feel more natural.

With Scara, he has so many layers and can be written in many different ways depending on what era of him you're writing for. What I like most of all, though, is his ability to act so friendly. I feel as if this ability of his is somewhat forgotten, but in the Unreconciled Stars event he approached Traveler and company with such a friendly façade. Even his intonation was bright and kind (as opposed to how he later addresses the Fatui soldiers)!!!!! orz orz I adore this aspect of his character,, how he's able to be both a brilliant actor and an intimidating Harbinger all in one. His sharp, sarcastic tongue... the threatening aura he has despite being so short hehe. <3 there's so much to love!!

I like to imagine him as the stray cat they tell you not to feed often otherwise he'll continue to come around even when there isn't any food to give. Although it also helps that he's portrayed as a cat in Nahida's fairy tale. ;;; I love Scarameow with all of my heart!!!! It's also important to note that, as evil as he was during his era as a villain, there were also facets to him that showed some gap moe. How he cares for the elderly and children. How we know that he has a tendency to get attached to things, to seek a purpose, to know what it's like to be human and feel human, to be accepted and loved.

His misunderstanding with Ei also plays a role in how he views the world (and how he'd probably be wary in falling in love because he fears abandonment). Whereas Ei was hoping he could live his own life by setting him free rather than destroying him as Miko had wanted her to do, Scara mistook the gesture as abandonment and betrayal. And from his perspective it's hard to see the goodwill in what Ei did because she,,,, didn't exactly go about it in the best way. ^^;;;;

Aaaa there are just so many parts to consider from the timeline of his existence. As Wanderer, it's really heartwarming to see him gradually healing and accepting himself as well as letting go of past grievances (but also taking accountability for and acknowledging all that he did as well as all that he is). He still has that same sharp-tongued sarcasm and there are still rough edges, but he's not so harsh or vindictive. 🥺 I just adore him so much...

I rambled a lot and I'm sorry. T^T I hope it's helpful advice and not just my adoration for Scara shining through. ;;;;;

#sweet messages

[merakiui]

For the ask game :3

1. My favorite fic of yours

Must be clingy codependent Azul! I've read so many yandere fics but this one really made my skin crawl as Azul slowly descends into madness :0 (I do enjoy emotionally invoking stories very much :>)

10. A character/ship I didn't enjoy/think about as much before you wrote about them

Octatrio (mostly Azul, but all three of them). I simply never think much of them (if I see them irl I'd run for my life lol) but you are so creative with your ideas that you offer new perspectives for me ❤️

11. Something I wish/hope you write

Any characters that are not as regularly featured (because I love your writing and I just want to hear more thoughts on them from you, even as chitchats) but mostly Vil and Lilia my beloved 🫶

As for concepts, may I raise back otome game au 🥺 (I love to hear more of your rambles on the endless possibilities of this au)

(ask game)

:D I'm so glad you like clingy, codependent bf Azul!!!! He's so terrifying. I'm relieved those unsettling feelings could be felt because I felt so when typing it. I had actually just finished watching a true crime series when I was writing it. It frightened me to such a degree that I had to put that anxiety into writing and thus clingy, codependent bf Azul was born. <3

Thank you so much for enjoying the trio in my writings!!! I never gave them much thought in the very beginning. They've grown on me. Like pesky barnacles on a whale's back, they are forever stuck. I wouldn't have it any other way hehe.

I will definitely write more for other characters! Actually, when twst got its English release I made a tier list to show my friend how I felt about the characters. Since then, my opinions and tastes have changed. There was a category called "we can get dinner, but that's it" and I put Trey there. It's an inaccurate portrayal now because he has moved up into my favorites, as have many of the others on the list. I want to write more for Vil (starting with the omegaverse fic hehe) and I definitely want to write for Lilia more often!!!! He has a lot of potential... >:)

Aaaaa otome au my beloved!!! I would love to ramble more and brain rot on it! There are so many routes it could go. >w< I hope to make it my next big project after DRU is complete. I just love the idea of a reader who is trying to survive romance rather than fall into it. Reader tries so hard to avoid every situation that may lead to blossoming feelings, hoping to be unlikable and boring enough to avoid raising the affection meters of the main cast. But seeing as Reader is the main character, that's just impossible. orz if Reader encounters more than three romantic events in a single day, they're shuddering and thinking it's an omen for something much worse (the inevitable confession or those horribly cliché moments where they're destined to accidentally kabedon a character or fall into his chest or (worst of all) have a heartfelt, touching moment that establishes a deeper connection).

I have so many ideas for comedic interactions and jokes. I want to make a meta joke at some point in my outline, in which Idia and Reader are talking about video games and reality and Idia says, "Wouldn't it be easier if everyone had likability meters? Then you could just avoid getting caught up in useless quick-time events if you know the people around you hate you." And Reader, without missing a beat, very bluntly says, "Trust me on this. You don't want that. It sucks." On paper, the idea sounds great. In execution... ;;;;; not so much.

#sweet messages

[merakiui]

Anon that asked about ur fave type of villain: ahhh Mera pls I absolutely love when u ramble about these things. I wanted to mention Jack Horner but idk if u watched the movie yet. Sorry I’m gonna ramble for a bit, but I’ve always loved villains bc of the drama they bring in and how diverse they can be. I also like Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls bc he’s an unhinged menace through and through (tho it’s implied that he has a sad-ish backstory). I also like villains that are created at the hands of other humans/the world fails them. I read this Manhwa wayyy back, I forgot the name but it was long, but the villain of the series is basically the spitting image of being a hero/good person. He was a rly nice and gentle person, he has the power to heal/purify things, and he wears all white and has a soft appearance. But then he went through some shit at the hands of what he thought were good ppl and it cause him to snap and become a manipulative psycho. Tho speaking of deceiving appearances, is that why u like Jade? At first, in his robe story he initially appears to be fairly nice but then we (and Trey) realize that he’s acc a menace? But I do share ur love for villains with deceiving appearances. I love villains where their actions contradict their appearance, but I also like when their facade starts to crack overtime, or if it’s a uncanny valley kinda thing, they seem normal in every way yet there’s something that’s kinda off.

Oh, Bill Cipher!!! His character always fascinated me. I loved everything about him and how he could be so devious and cruel. He is yet another character who entraps others with supposedly simple, beneficial deals and a mere shake of the hands. >_< unhinged villains are another type of villain I love because there's something spooky in seeing a character so devoted to their cause or being so dedicated to villainy that there is no reasoning with them.

That manhwa sounds interesting!! If you ever recall the title, I would love to know it! The character you describe seems so cool!! I like when a character who starts so innocent and happy slowly darkens over time because the people/environment around them has wronged or failed them in some way. A character with a soft, gentle appearance who snapped and became so manipulative!!!!! Aaaaa that's really so good. orz I'm weak for that type of trope.

I adore Jade's deception and gentleman personality. I think I also really like him because he is someone who can always smile so calmly and act politely no matter what the situation is, which depending on the context can be very unsettling. I like that, even though he can be terrifying and scheming, he can be unexpectedly cute at times. And when you can never read him or tell what he might be thinking!!!!! I love him a lot. ;;; he's a character I like to liken to poison because it takes time for his influence to truly settle, but when it does and his plans come to fruition it is a nightmare. <3 and his ceremonial robes story omg... he truly is a menace, but I wouldn't have him any other way hehe. (˘ ˘ ˘)

Aaaa uncanny valley, yes! I love a character who has something about them that isn't quite right. It's so eerie... or a character who is already so off-putting from the very beginning that you struggle to determine what, if anything, is normal about them. I think of Tsukasa from Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, who is overall so unsettling and becomes truly terrifying when in certain scenes throughout the manga and anime.

I also like Ryo Asuka from Netflix's Devilman Crybaby. His character was always so captivating. He was a very unique villain! The club scene when he breaks a bottle and begins to slaughter everyone with such a crazed expression was too good! And his gradual character development and the ending that followed the climax... T_T it is always a stab in the stomach.

#chit chat #and thank you for liking my ramblings!!! :D #i'm happy to know you can enjoy it and will not be bothered

[merakiui]

Mera I love your writing so much TT HOLY CRAP YOU ARE COOKING WITH TMDG i feel like it'll be my vacation after a long days of work once it comes out, really looking forward to it!!! Please do take care<33 I really wanna squeal and roll around in my bed and just fangirl but unfortunately I am not home to genuinely enjoy it. When you write do you get distracted from your own thoughts and fangirl in between or are you like in the zone type of writer?

-Honey Anon

AAAAA THANK YOU, DEAREST HONEY ANON!!!!! 💖🫶 I am indeed cooking the most yummiest Jade meal of all time!!!! I guarantee everyone who likes eel will be feasting for days!! ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻) I will be so happy to share it with everyone once it's finished! Let's fangirl and celebrate together when that happens!!! >w<

Aaaa yes,,, I am notorious for fangirling during the writing process. Even though I know what happens because I'm the writer, I still react accordingly whenever something surprising, exciting, smutty, etc happens lol. Just recently, while writing the discord mod Azul fic, I was so flustered because it was such a shameless scene and I felt so embarrassed to write it. >_< but then I got to the part where Reader finds out he's the CEO of the restaurant they work at and I couldn't stop feeling so >:3c

I'm just too expressive in all aspects of my life, but being so excited only boosts my motivation. ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Although sometimes I tend to become "in the zone" when I write without succumbing to distracting thoughts. For example, the scene in DRU where Riddle's writing notes and being so methodical in his theorizing—I wrote it with such meticulous focus. As someone who is organized like Riddle, it was easy to put myself in his shoes. He's logical and orderly, so of course the first thing he'd do is want to gather as much information as he currently knows, structure it into lists, and then see what needs to be done from there. It's how he's able to better comprehend the incomprehensible. I also listened to noukou from the Summertime Rendering ost on repeat while writing that scene because it made me feel like a detective hehe.

Forgive me for rambling!!! Essentially, I do a little of both fangirling and focusing intently when writing! When something horrible happens in the plot, I am the first one to cheer, groan, cry internally, and so on. orz

#sweet messages #honey anon #i think one of the fics i'm most excited to write (because it's full of horrifying gruesome moments) is the time loop rook fic >:) #lots of fangirling/focusing will be happening for that writing process hehe

[merakiui]

Omg Cupid Parasite!! That's one of my favourite otome games because of how funny and unhinged it can be. If you do get around to playing it please tell us about your experience as much as possible(lol).

I love, love your writing Mera!! I am lowkey obsessed with your blog and the way you manage to come up with so many ideas and execute them so nicely. I'm very curious to know how what your journey was to becoming a writer. What pieces of fiction inspired you to start writing? Do you have any favourite novels? Also, do you think you'd ever want to publish your own novels someday? If so, what genre would you most want to delve into? Hope I'm not bombarding you with questions😭😭

You can count on it, anon!!! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ I will gladly share the full experience once I buy and play through it. >w< Meraki Game Review!!!!!

AAAAA thank youuuuUUUU!!!! T^T <3 I'm so happy you enjoy my writing and blog!!!!!!! Also,,, thank you for being curious about my writing journey!! :D you're not bombarding me with questions at all!! I love to ramble about writing hehe.

✧ what pieces of fiction inspired you to start writing?

A lot of fantasy and adventure novels! I used to read those genres obsessively when I was little. The first story I ever wrote was an adventure plot for a school assignment. It was 17 pages and even illustrated by yours truly lol. The page limit was 1-2, but eight-year-old Meraki couldn't tell a story in such short page length! I remember I used a piano bench as my table and I didn't stop writing and drawing until I was finished. I would snack on cucumber slices during the process. Even though it's such a random memory, I cherish it dearly because it was the first time I realized I was genuinely passionate about storytelling.

Anime/manga was also another big inspiration! In my early teenage years, I loved shows like Assassination Classroom, Black Butler, Watamote, Owari no Seraph, Pandora Hearts, Danganronpa, HETALIA. Omg,,,, what an era that was.........

Reading yan oc stories also inspired me to write yandere fics!! Before writing yan fandom, I wrote a lot of yandere ocs. They are my most beloveds. I adore my ocs. ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ

✧ do you have any favorite novels?

I do! I love the Red Eye series. It's a collection of various horror novels. I read them a lot in my early teenage years. They're all wonderfully written. So much atmosphere in each one! I really enjoy YA literature, especially YA horror. There are plenty of other novels (lots of horror classics), but I can't seem to recall all of them at the moment. ;;;; orz too many to keep up with...

✧ do you think you'd ever want to publish novels someday?

YES. OTL it's been my dream ever since I was little. I've always wanted to publish a novel.

✧ what genre would you delve into?

Definitely horror/thriller! I'd also like to write a fantasy/adventure series. I have plenty of novel plots/concepts and wips, so there is definitely plenty of material to work with.

#chit chat #about meraki

[koushirouizumi]

( small tags ramble )

#koushirouizumi tag rambles #koushirouizumi rambles #koushirouizumi positive #koushirouizumi fic thoughts #koushirouizumi plotting #(I'm kinda really wanting to do more for) #(my old OC fic again) #(except like rewrite it so it's much more in line with canon aha) #(tbh at least I kinda tried before??) #(but yeah some things were. a bit more dub based and I could improve on that orz) #(really it's mainly one or two particular plot points from old writings but I can try to make) #(them work with the Japanese version too hmm) #(aNYWAY I keep thinking of all my international friends my childhood friends etc.) #(I really do wanna include them all in this somehow aaaa) #(BECAUSE I ALWAYS LOVED) #(HOW THERE WAS THE 'INTERNATIONAL CHOSEN' AND THEY) #(ALL TRY TO STAY CONNECTED AND KEEP EVERYONE INFORMED AND JUST AAAAA I LOVE IT) #(BECAUSE YEAH IT DOES ALLOW FOR MORE REPRESENTATION) #(then keeping everything confined to the original 8 and tbh yeah I love the International Chosen plotline) #(AND THE 'EVERYONE GETTING A DIGIMON' PLOTLINE) #(AND I WANNA DO THINGS WITH THAT AAAAA) #(so as for Repeat) #(well.) #(Repeat did kind of come out of nowhere for me but tbh it WAS inspired by ideas I had for the old fic) #(literally since I was tiny young me soooo basically expanding. upon those idea. ha. ahahaaa whhhhhy) #(BASICALLY TAISHIROS FEELINGS HAVE BEEN KILLING ME FOR THE PAST ENTIRETY OF MY LIFE MAYBE) #(AND I SUFFERED SO MANY YEARS OF TAI//SHIRO BEING A RAREPAIR SO YEAH I wanna do this aaaaaa)