#a) i have intrusive thoughts (and possibly inserted thoughts) and they're awful

[dorianbrightmusic]

PSA

-OCD is not a synonym for neat or preoccupied with tidiness. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is all about distressing intrusive thoughts and rituals (compulsions) used to combat those thoughts.

-Intrusive thoughts are not synonymous with silly things I want to do. They're deeply upsetting, often taboo mental apparitions. Letting them win is the last thing anyone wants, and nobody is immoral for having them. (See 'impulsive thoughts' if you need a term.)

-Anorexic is not a synonym for thin or emaciated. The majority of anorexic people have OSFED atypical anorexia – that is, their BMI is above 18.5. You cannot judge the severity of someone's illness by their appearance. (If you're worried about someone, look out more for rapid weight loss than thinness, even when it's occurring in someone in a larger body. 10kg in 10 weeks is never a good thing.)

-Eating disorders are not synonymous with just anorexia and bulimia. Anorexia is an ED, but it's nowhere near the most common. Bulimia is an ED, but again, not the most common. Together, they do not constitute the most common. The most common ED is binge-eating disorder, and the second most common is atypical anorexia, which is one of many, many OSFED categories. Those living with ARFID, pica, night-eating syndrome, rumination disorder, subthreshold BN, subthreshold BED, and orthorexia all deserve dignity, compassion, and acknowledgement. Remember: EDs are not necessarily thin, and never glamorous.

-Schizophrenic is not a synonym of all over the place, abnormal, unpredictable, dangerous, or crazy. Nor is schizoid or schizotypal. Folks with schizophrenia spectrum disorders live with hallucinations, delusions, disorganised thoughts/behaviour, and/or catatonia. They are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators, and go to huge lengths to act okay even when distressed by symptoms.

-Schizophrenic is also not a synonym of multiple personalities/volatile. For the disorder involving having different facets of personality that are generally unaware of each other, see Dissociative Identity Disorder, and even then, don't assume it's a) dramatic as it is in the movies; b) evil; or c) trivial. DID is a trauma disorder.

-Delusional is not a synonym of wrong. Nor is it the same as this politician/friend is saying something I do not like/that is potentially dangerous. Delusions are false, fixed beliefs held despite evidence. And generally, folks with delusions don't tend to proselytise them. I know that certain politicians have beliefs that seem to persist in the face of evidence, but nevertheless, we don't need to stigmatise mental illness further to call out poor political/social behaviour. If you need a word for the pundit spewing potentially dangerous content, use 'dangerous' or 'wrong', but don't call them delusional.

-Bipolar is not a synonym of all over the place or fluctuating results. Bipolar disorder involves mood states that, even in the rapid cycling form, tend to last at least 3-4 days (mania) and weeks (depression). If you need a word for the weather, use 'British' instead.

-Psychotic is not a synonym of evil. Psychosis is losing touch with reality, whether it be through hallucinations or delusions. It doesn't make a person bad or violent. It's just a neurological phenomenon that may be distressing. It's also relatively common: 6-15% of people will hallucinate in their lifetime.

-ADHD is not a synonym of just quirky/scattered/forgetful/unfocussed/lazy/careless. ADHD is fundamentally a disorder of being able to choose where to direct attention, rather than of just I can't focus. If someone can't tune out the noise of the crowd, but can't prevent themself focussing on something trivial because their brain is wired that way, it's not laziness or just being quirky/scattered.

-Autistic meltdown is not a synonym of temper tantrum.

-Borderline is not a synonym of harridan.

-Narcissist is not a synonym of abuser.

-Mentally ill is not a synonym of volatile or bad person. This doesn't mean we have to make something artificially positive out of mental disorders. If there is good to be found in certain disorders, great; if there is nothing positive about living with certain others, that doesn't make you any less real or resilient than anyone else. It's okay to have complex feelings about your own disorders. It's okay to feel exhausted or frustrated by a disorder. But never should anyone have to face stigma.

#vent post but also important #ocd #intrusive thoughts #eating disorders #eds #schziophrenia #delusions #bipolar disorder #bipolar #psychosis #adhd #bpd #npd #cluster b #mental illness discourse #i want to make this for a couple of reasons: #a) i have intrusive thoughts (and possibly inserted thoughts) and they're awful #b) i've had OSFED and seeing the AN = thin stereotype is... frustrating #c) so so many people live with the other disorders on this list and don't get help and support because of stereotypes #d) so long as stereotype persists the medical system will not acknowledge the needs of its patients #e) while i don't have the right to speak over anyone with any of these disorders i can at least try to start a conversation #those of you with the above disorders: feel free to correct me if i stuffed up a detail #nt people you may interact with this post #everyone: feel free to add more to the list

[littlewalken]

Oct 14 proper

Got to be like the opening of Amazon Women on the Moon and tell my brain THE BITCH DON'T LIVE HERE and there's like no chance the Life Ruiner could even be at this place because we left her half a country away.

For those of y'all who don't live in some place like the continental United States, Canada, Russia, mainland China, Brazil, or those long skinny countries imagine somewhere that takes at least two solid days of travel just to get to and the same time to get back. That's how far away she is. And there's no way our car will make it.

Infact the car just got towed off because it's either fucked up the radiator and thermostat something awful or it's something small an stupid that the ignorance of the only person in this house who drives didn't take care of. And she treats me like a helpless POS, which the Life Ruiner is, instead of the person who learned themselves how to flush a radiator on one of the other cars.

But still, the part of my brain that makes nightmares and intrusive thoughts doesn't seem to believe the bitch can't possibly come here and we'd never have moved here if she was part of our household anyway because the place is only a two bedroom.

It's shit like we live a block from the train yard and you can see the smokestack and the tops of some of the cargo cranes and stuff as well as there being some sort of factory fog horn thing that goes off regularly three times a day which would feed into her psychosis.

For the next 72 hours at least the schizophrenic will be screaming at the top of their lungs about not wanting a bodily fluid but when you ask them what it's about they won't tell you. It took us driving half way across the country to find out in her fucked up mind she hears (insert nearest military base and/or industrial complex here) announcing on loudspeakers that they are going to pour said bodily fluid on her. Oh yeah, and we're all the crazy ones because we don't hear it.

So don't tell me 'mentally ill people don't know what they're doing' or 'they can't help it' because I got to travel thru the state of New Mexico trying to navigate the mess that is the Albuquerque freeway system while my seat is being kicked, the anchor to my seatbelt being stomped on, and trying to be heard over the same repeated screaming.

The stretch between Flagstaff Arizona and Albuquerque New Mexico really is beautiful country. Geologists would love it. And you'll drive right by the meteor crater.

That's it, the ridge just above the mirror. Some day I'll go there and be able to go in, but I'd need a driver and I'd want to have all the accommodations worked out because they way we did it was really shitty and not fun.

*Looks like the car blew a hose which is something that happens when you're poor and can't afford a better car that needs less repairs because you're too busy paying to repair the only car you can afford.