#a snowball's chance in hell

[azrielallanpoe]

A Snowball's Chance in Hell

Poem in plain text below the break.

Rhys' face was all surprise As snow ran down his cheek, If only he could use magic; His track record? It's bleak.

Cass can use a sword with skill; A bow? He topped the class. But when I caught him unawares, He still fell on his arse.

Who got me in the end? You ask, I'm not ashamed to tell; Nyx, at ten, in his first fight, His dad and uncles fell'd.

Happiest of birthdays to @impossiblescissorspeachpaper, you absolute gem. Thank you for being such an amazing friend. Love ya. 🖤

#a snowball's chance in hell #azriel allan poe #azriel shadowsinger #azriel and nyx #azriel and rhys #azriel and cassian #acotar poetry #acotar shitpost

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Introducing bison to Britain is honestly such a stupid idea. To start with, if you look it up European bison have never been native to the uk, they’re just related to the forest bison which WAS native, but also went extinct in the Pleistocene, some 12,000 years ago. I don’t feel like you can call introducing a species which is related to a different species that went extinct when there were hippos and lions in Britain reintroduction. And there really aren’t that many places for them to go either. Nature reserves and forests big enough to support a population of bison generally already have an established population of wild ponies that they’d compete with, and a lot of the time farmers have grazing rights for their sheep and cattle on common land as well. Plus there’d be no way for the bison to travel between them so there’d be no population mixing. The current “rewilding” project is basically just 3 European bison in a private zoo in some Kent woods, and it’s really difficult to see how it could ever be more than that.

Ah, I see. I hadn’t realized the bison in the UK were not only a different species from wisents altogether but also not found there since the Pleistocene.

So would you perhaps say that, pardon, the UK wants to release random [Eastern European] animals into their ecosystem?

#/lh #but this revelation is quite literally the funniest possible twist in this saga #I was slightly off but in general terms I was also RIGHT because they are releasing non-native wildlife there #This entire ride has been incredibly funny from beginning to end #at least the beavers are native to the UK lol #I hope the slow worm project goes well at least #and I wish the lynx and wolf project had a snowballs chance in hell #I don’t remember bullet point three but best of luck to that too

[thelustybraavosimaid]

I hate this shit fucking fandom full stop

#literally why would any of this happen #jesus christ man #full offense but if you have to theorise a main character being slaughtered so your ship can happen #you know for a fact it has a snowball's chance in hell of being written naturally in the narrative #fuck off #asoiaf #anti jonsa #what is this shit

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

you've done it! you've boiled the summit down to its bare essentials!

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #art #illustration #redacted porter #redacted vincent #redacted summit #okay so vincent isn't quite here yet but when he is it'll be funny as hell #there is a snowball's chance in hell that william stops using underhanded methods to control the other houses #and so far he's been pretty measured all things considered #he's good at tying off loose ends #but i HIGHLY doubt that vincent being upset will convince william to ease off the murder #necessary evils babe. now get in we're going shopping

[dittolicous]

you know how some movies would have secret alternate endings and you never know which you're gonna get when you go to the theater?

super mario movie, but instead of two endings, mario will be voiced by either crisp rat or charles martinet depending on the version you see

#ditto rambles #mario movie #super mario movie #HERES HOW WE CAN STILL WIN #yes people i KNOW its a snowball chance in hell but id rather speak up and try then sit quietly in defeate without #SO SUSH ABOUT THE CONTRACT AND JUNK #I KNOOOOOOW #at the very least charles martinet will know we appreciate him from our shouting

[transingthoseformers]

What if for sg Earthspark, Megatron is actually a hostage and Optimus and Elita are both lying to everyone and then when the terrans come along, Megatron has to put on his teacher mode and pretend like he’s not on the verge of a psychotic break

Wait yes yes that'd be fascinating, especially with GHOST and the human Maltos interact with him, this would be fascinating and we can't forget the other decepticons

Fuck, hell maybe even we include that old disproven earthspark theory with mnemosurgery and suggest that they're threatening him with it (or it's involved somehow)

#maccadam #transformers #sg elita one #sg optimus prime #sg megatron #god this would be fun #transformers earthspark #transformers shattered glass #that theory didn't have a snowball's chance in hell but it's still fun au material #I've been thinking a lot lately about the uglier sides of Megatron working with ghost and the autobots #earthspark sg au

[delicatebluebirdruins]

do i love and respect Mia for trying to send Ethan a message to stay away and to move on from her (she did)? you bet i do

#resident evil #resident evil biohazard #resident evil village #mia winters #ethan winters #mithan #the bottom right picture is from a trailer actually #as a tagline #we already know my feelings on how likely it is for him to get it being a few degree less of a snowballs chance in hell #because you know storm infection (that made her lose a door) boat and laptop gets wrecked #not described

[hoarding-stories]

Very glad I listened to this episode at far too late at night because there was no way in hell I'd be able to be normal about listening to it in public

#worlds beyond number spoilers #wbn spoilers #wwwo spoilers #worlds beyond number #wbn #wwwo #like holy shit #i would have listened to it on the bus #before my classes #there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell

[sarcasticlee-afterdark]

When you're in a feisty bratty mood and wanting to challenge your Dom, full well knowing you'd lose in a matter of seconds. Them not even breaking a sweat as they pin you down and just watch you squirm against their strength. Flushing slightly as they comment how cute it was that you thought you could take them. Having them note said flush and quietly mentioning they're gonna make that flush so much worse as their fingers travel across exposed skin. After all ..they do want their prize.

#messy 🦋 thoughts #size k!nk #dom/sub #bratty sub #hint of cnc #cnc k!nk #im in a slighty fiesty mindset #wanna fight him 😤 #even though i have a snowball's chance in hell of actually winning #he'd have no issue in pinning me down and thats whats driving me feral right now

[yellobb]

Fallen Angel

#m draws #good omens #anthony j crowley #crowley good omens #I tried something new with my style and I kinda like it #definitely need to play around more with how to do wrinkles in this style #now should I have been sleeping so I had a snowball’s chance in hell of having a better day tomorrow? #almost definitely #but I finally forced myself to get out of bed and inspiration struck #and I guess I just wanted to feel a little bit normal so I went for it #and hoping people don’t think I’m faking how I felt earlier (and still feel) because I made art 🙃 #anyway #I spent a long time making a broken halo for him #but it didn’t turn out well so I’m posting the version without it #might try again when it’s not 1am

[mirakurutaimu]

Hi, just wanted to let you know that the desktop version of your blog doesnt have a "next page" button to look at older posts. I can circumvent it by looking at the blog using tumblrs default format but I wanted to let you know in case you wanted to know.

💀 i forgor

edit: wait. this theme i'm using doesn't even have any options for scrolling to load more posts or jump pagination. what da fuck

edit edit: wait yes it does. it's just... not working. ogey

edit edit edit: wait yes it is working. it's just all the way down here under the post column instead of static under the sidebar for some reason (and barely visible). por que

#askmi #i don't have a snowball's chance in hell of figuring out html so uh deal with it i guess lmao

[the-far-bright-center]

Unless and until Disney ever de-canonises the Sequels, I will continue to have zero desire to watch any of the SW media they insist on churning out.

#and even then I’d still probably not bother #but there’s currently snowball’s chance in hell of me ever watching any Disney series #and all because of the sequels #how can I enjoy anything set in that version of the Sw universe???? #anti Disney #anti sequels

[sludgebat]

red dwarf reboot where everything is the exact same except they also have a copy of just dance (and maybe wii sports)

#bat.png #just dance is loaded with songs that none of them really like all that much #but they still use it because what. are they just not gonna play? no that'd be stupid. #cat obviously is the best #lister is a distant second place only because the fact that he doesn't care kind of puts him in the Zone for a few minutes at a time #rimmer is. well. hes trying. he manages to bust one good move and immediately lets it get to his head and loses the flow completely. #kryten doesn't dance. his head is acting as the wii sensor. #if kochanski is there shes the ONLY one that stands a snowballs chance in hell against cat. #and ace. he likes wii bowling. :)

[doortotomorrow]

TRYST - Portrayed by Richard Harmon -- "Okay, okay, okay, on the count of three..let's. make. bad decisions!"

#Fakes #Tryst #Richard Harmon #fakesedit #trystedit #it well and truly sucks that this show has a snowball's chance in hell of coming back #because this character Richard plays is a hell of a lot of fun #and it's a crying shame I won't get to see more of him

[transingthoseformers]

Been thinking about Simpatico and CDRW but earthspark for fluff reasons but also angst reasons

#maccadam #transformers #the only one of them who has more than a snowball's chance in hell is Perceptor #as he's in g1_ idw especially_ and rescue bots (academy) #but cdrw would hurt so good to play around with in an Earthspark environment #yes this is an appropriated tfp plotline of mine translated into earthspark #brainstorm #Perceptor #simpatico #Chromedome #rewind #cdrw #transformers earthspark

[ralith]

Absolutely love finding new Ironhide dialogue in video games I'd never heard before and cementing that he easily adopted Earth colloquialisms into his speech

#Ironhide isnt allowed to say Hell in a violent video game #so he swaps Hell for...Miami #yknow what that works too #he says “Not a snowball's chance in He- uh Miami”