#a funky lizard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seraphimaa · 2 months

Text

HAARLEP N*S*F*T ALPHABET

Below cut, of course.

Warnings: somnophilia, unhealthy relationships, danger, brief mentions of noncon

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

This was one of the best parts, for Haarlep. This was the only moment that they could relax and bask in the euphoria of feeding on your body, the maddening hunger gone from their mind. This was also the time that you were, like him, at your most vulnerable. He’d always tend to your needs because he knew that by being a reliable comfort to you at these times, he strengthened the trust you gave to him and it deepened his grip on you. He’d carry you to the bath and clean you up, dress you in a pretty slip and carry you back to bed, whispering sweet nothings to you the whole time. He’d be so gentle and loving because he knew that this was the way to earn your devotion to him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

When he is in the form of Raphael I think he actually does kinda like the horns. They make him look powerful. When he wears your form he loves your feet. It’s not weird…well I mean it’s Haarlep so it’s always kind of weird, but he just loves how small they are. It’s different, to him. They are just to delicate and he loves how they curl when he makes you feel good. When it comes to you, I think he loves your mouth. Again, it’s always going to be a little weird but he likes it in an innocent sense too. Your tongue is smooth and unforked - also something fun and new he likes to study and explore. This little mouth was capable of bringing him to the peak of pleasure, but also of making mean but oh so funny jokes, and praising him, and engaging him in amusing and conversation. This little part of you sparked so much chaos! He likes your mouth because it always seems so enjoyable, whatever you decide to use it for.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

(I want to start by stating one of the saddest lore facts. No Haarlep cum for us womb havers:( the little demon spawn he’d plant in you would most definitely kill you, according to lore, but I will be the first to admit that I’d 100% die happily to demon cum because my breeding kink would always override my self preservation lol).

As above, I want to believe that Haarlep would love to bury himself as deep as he could fit inside of you, pressing against your womb and pumping you full of his seed, desperate to breed you and corrupt your womb with his spawn but assuming you don’t want to die terribly, idk maybe the funky little guy has a potion or spell or something to spare you that future. He’d change to your form and offer to finger and lick it all out after but that would be a risk you’d be willing to make.

If he wasn’t looking to turn you into a doomed vessel for his child, and didn’t have a solution then I think the next best thing would be cumming all over your ass or tits. He liked changing to your form and licking off of you while you squirmed and watched

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

A depraved part of him howls that he has to take your soul and turn you into his pretty doll. He denies it because he knows it’s better to have a long term investment but he can’t deny that the idea of having you living corpse, completely at his mercy and he could do whatever he wanted, go as hard as he wanted to, and you’d never break, drove him wild. You’d make such a submissive, pretty doll for him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like this is kinda obvious for Haarlep at first but remember how long he spent rotting in the boudoir. Extremely experienced but, perhaps, feeling slightly out of practice for a while. If you’d be so kind as to give yourself to him, you’d both thoroughly enjoy the journey of self rediscovery where he reminds himself of what he enjoys and exactly how good he is at it all.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Gods, he loves them all. Each delicious in their own way, and he makes it his mission to fuck you in every position and location he could ever dream of.

His favourite though, is when you ride him, shuddering and locked in his gaze. So long he spent topping Raphael and dedicated to his pleasure that this position holds so much significance to him. He is now the master who can recline back and be worshiped by their doting pet. Although you sit atop him like a queen, you both understand that he is the one in control, so in control of you that here you were, continuing to pleasure him on your own will. Here, he could also study your face and all the interesting ways it moved at each slide of him inside of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Again, he’ll tailor his behaviour to fit your needs and personality. There’s an intensity there and he views the act of fucking you as the same as laying claim to your wretched little soul but that doesn’t mean he can’t have fun and make you laugh at the same time. Your slow destruction didn’t have to hurt. You would enjoy every second of it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think he has stubble but it’s a cosmetic choice rather than a lack of grooming. Haarlep is dedicated to nothing other than looking their best and preening.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Again, this is when your are most vulnerable and Haarlep would not hesitate to flood you with intimacy and affection, if that’s what you desire. Haarlep will play whatever role you want because all that matters is that you feed his sexual hunger and that it feels good. If this makes you feel happy then he will give it you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Haarlep is almost always getting himself off somehow. When he first took l your form, it was so constant and overwhelming that you had locked yourself in your bathroom for days straight, able to do nothing more than join him desperately in hopes of release and ride the barrage of pleasure. If you were keeping yourself from him for too long, in his humble opinion, he found that if he brought you both to the edge and held you there long enough, you’d always come back to him desperate and feral. He loved you like that.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Somnophilia. Like the ancient incubus history with sleep paralysis and dream control, I think Haarlep would love to probe your mind while you slept, seeping it with his own depraved thoughts and playing with you while you are innocent and unaware.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Everywhere and anywhere. His beautiful and depraved imagination is unmatched in all the realms his words not mine. Don’t worry, though, he will get to them all with you, eventually. His favourite is anywhere where there’s an audience. He loves to show off his treasure, they deserve to be witnessed and admired by all. He also loved the effect it had on you. You got so shy and bashful. It was so cute!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Almost anything if he thinks about it enough, let’s be honest. I guess worth mentioning is reluctance, innocence and brattiness. He loved the challenge and he would no doubt be able to tame these things in you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Brutal non-con. Don’t get me wrong, in the right situations, as an incubus he’s depraved enough to see the appeal of anything but as a standard of incubus and succubus culture, this was taboo. If you could not manipulate your prey into submission or at least break their mind with your charm then you didn’t deserve the feast. Incubi were not built for combat.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

They are all wonderful but I mean, can I just point out the obvious that he would LOVE to use your form and sixty nine you. It was so overwhelming that you’d passed out from the reverberating echos of pleasure the first time so they didn’t do it often but every time they did was like a little present. Breaking you was so fun!

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again, he will give you whatever you want. Your pleasure is his pleasure.

Totally up to him? He pin you down, and fuck you into the mattress until you were babbling and drooling.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sex is a gift in any form but they much prefer to take their time with you. Such a delicious little treat should be savoured. The longer your ruin was, the harder the high after would be. He’ll always satisfy you in the end.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Put it this way, he will fuck you anywhere, fuck anything as you and make you fuck anything that either of you want.

He is every monster fuckers dream come true. Want to try centaur cock? He’ll do it for you and you’ll feel everything. Hell and abyss beasts alike, whatever either of your depraved minds dream up and even better, I’m sure his venom would make it possible to let you have a go too!

In all honesty, if you’re ever likely to die by Haarlep’s doing, it would probably be suspended from a cock he had assured you that you could take. Oops!

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

For Haarlep, sex is less of an act and more of a constant state of existence. Rare would it be that one of you isn’t teasing or playing with the other. After you finish, the rest your time is spent, in his perception as simply building up to the next climax when he’d pounce and take you again.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Anything that can be stuffed inside of you, or him, humped or stimulate you in any way will no doubt be used against you at some point. He loves being inventive and finding new and exiting things to torture you with!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will literally bring you to the brink of insanity with his cruel unfairness. He is more than to happy to hold you there for hours, or days, or weeks, his venom able to fuel your cruel torture will unbearable pleasure. Don’t worry, in the end he always makes it worth it and all the tears and screaming will be rewarded with the highest of peaks. You’ll get what you deserve as soon as you earn it his word not mine.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He will grunt and growl and hiss like an angry crocodile when you make him feel particularly good. He is, however, far more interested in basking in the noises he brings out of you. He loves to hear you pledging you love and devotion to him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He’s a feral little biter. When he feels good or even just has a little flood of emotion, his go to response is to nip and bite at you. He loves it when you return the favour. It’s normal to be relaxing than chomp. He loves seeing his teeth bruised and dented into your soft skin.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I feel like his cock is definitely generous in size. It’s thick, and long and intimidating. It’s the same colour as the rest of him, flushing to a dark purple hue near the tip. I like to think his cock would have sharp, delicate ribbing and texturing around the length that would sting and drag pleasurably inside of you. Probably has an evolutionary purpose of removing another’s seed or something idk. I like to think his demon dick would have a small knot at the base, since they were designed to feed and breed, after all. Like for these headcanons I can’t argue them through lore. I just think it. Because it’s hot. Shoot me.

I like to imagine he’s always on the spectrum of “half mast” to “full mast” always half at alert and ready for more fun.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Sorry, but again can I, hahahaahahaha.

He’s the embodiment of lust and sexual hunger. Go figure. Even in innocent moments that depraved beast is always in him and seeking its next meal.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I think Haarlep spent so much time sleeping before, passing time in the house of Hope, that after you ignited his passion again he rarely slept anymore. He’d like to watch you sleep, though. He liked to play with himself and get you off while you did or just probe himself into your slumbering subconscious, watching what your wandering mind conjured.

47 notes · View notes