#YEAH SO WHAT I HAVENT MOVED ON

[infiniteiram]

yea im a jens stoffel’s bitch until the day i die and even then oh lord when i get to heaven pls let me take my man-

#still thinking about him #god one chance #i need him #in my lucas vdh era fr #jens stoffels #wtfock #YEAH SO WHAT I HAVENT MOVED ON

[selenealwayscries]

some Beasts ive conjured up

#mcyt #hermitcraft #hermitblr #bdoubleo100 #bdoubleo #remember my tag about bunny ears hood on the bdubs #yeah thats the doodle #i felt like the bandana would be a bit redundant for this specific skin so i moved it to the hood of his cape #doesnt matter what the skin is the bunny ears stay <3 the tsundere energy must be preserved <3 #i hate that sentence why did i say that jesus christ #can you tell he scratching a specific itch in my brain . yeah #also i keep saying im getting boba for the past few days but i still havent gotten it yet #im gonna go buy boba tomorrow and no one can stop me #havent had it for like 2 years . i need it in my veins #<- has a sugar monster in their brain #anyways i need to sleep early if i wanna join vc tmr so bye lol #catgirl supreme

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Oh god.

This summer you sent our mutual friend a package, to get to me. An heirloom, a bit of camp history. Passed down to me.

And on that package, your phone number and address. Your phone number, that I had long deleted from my phone because the urge to call you was always too strong.

When I last saw you in person, you said that when you finally moved to the city it would be with your girlfriend. You would move in together. And surely, she would become your fiancee and then your wife.

There it is. On the package. Your new address, in the city.

I have to keep myself from calling you right now. You probably have my number blocked, and I truly don't know what I'd do if you answered. But I would give anything to hear your voice again.

Even if it's just you saying, "Hello? Who is this?" While her voice is in the background, asking you what you want for dinner.

At this point, I don't even need to be the voice in the background asking what you want for dinner.

I just wish I could be the voice on the other end of your phone call.

#idk if this made sense. its 4am #but storytime i guess #years ago. like four now. i had a best friend #i loved her so much. truly i was in love with her. which was the problem #she had a girlfriend. im sure you can guess where this is going #she cheated on her gf with me. i felt guilty and made her tell her gf. months later but better late than never i guess #her gf made her choose between us. understandable. she chose her gf. understandable #so i got a call one night from her. where she said we could never speak again. we couldnt be in each others lives. and i deserved that #it still killed me though. it still kills me. i havent recovered #but this past summer she sent a package to our mutual friend. for me #just something from the camp we both work at. and there on the package was her phone number and address #two years after she left me she volunteered at the camp i worked at and she used to woek at #we ended up talking. and being friends for that one last week. and she mentioned that she wanted to marry her gf #and move in with her. in the city. so when i saw her city address... yeah #i took a picture of her number and address before throwing away the package. something i remembered tonight #its just sitting in my camera roll. her number and address #and i could never call her. never send her a letter #idk what the point of this storytime was #but this is some half decent writing for 4am #i hope you enjoyed

[rainymeat]

I am begging people who make videos on petscop to be normal

#uploads #yes this is about the nexpo video no i havent/will not watch it #but yes i have heard of the contents from people and dude. i am begging for youtubers to actually respect the case of carrie mark and to not #keep on bringing it up with petscop In Great Detail when tony has apologized and said the case is not connected to the story Years Ago #there are themes and references and he has expressed his feelings about Yeah that was not a cool thing to do like. at least a few years ago #sagan hawks i think did a good job of mentioning it explaining what tony has said and then moving on. #i also heard nexpo didnt even do a content warning for it and flashing lights so like great job man you didnt do the bare minimum #petscop #i think im playing a dangerous game by putting this in the tags but begging ppl to be normal as well

[reinabeestudio]

you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh

#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona #i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO #i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever #sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live #note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl #and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things) #(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol) #that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes #(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥) #and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO #and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D #i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on #usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol #like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude #i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍‍♂️

[noahtally-famous]

that moment when you’ve so many rewrite/canon divergence au ideas for various td seasons bc each season in that damn show had its cons as well as pros, and it’ll be fun to pick out the characterizations and the ‘what ifs’

#except for roti for some reason i cant think of a rewrite idea for that one rn #maybe bc i havent reached it in my rewatching spree #but no i've got my dashawan au pi rewrite that follows what happened if dave and shawn had kissed instead of the skave near kiss in ep4 #(im so excited for that one ngl bc we get dashawn plus the sky and dave brotp which is exactly how i prefer sky and dave) #plus dave characterization other than being a simp smh (the man deserves at least that) #i can ramble abt this one for ages ill prob make a separate post for it hmmm #anyway moving on #tdi potential rewrite (or tda) involving duntrent and gwourtney after a gwent and duncney breakup (no love triangle!!) #all stars rewrite with noah (and several others) joining the cast plus potential alenoah?? #(it'll be interesting to picture how noah and alejandro interact after noah's wt elimination lmao) #speaking of #currently rewatching wt and thinking of an alenoah au rewrite if heather actually did get eliminated in ep8 and ep13 was a fake elimination #or smth #idk yet i just got the idea ahaha #so yeah. a potential rewrite idea for each one except rr and roti #though im only working on pi's au rewrite rn #and i like the wt alenoah au but slipper slopes has given me high standards for wt aus lmaooo but i def wanna at least plan it out #i can ramble abt all these stg but i shall not for the sake of y'alls sanity lmao (or what's left of it fhjdkfh /j) #total drama #tdi #tda #tdas #tdroti #tdwt #tdpi #noahtally-famous #kit speaks #kit stuff #if i see hate abt anything in here i will not hesitate to smack a bitch (virtually) btw so dont even #(i've seen how nasty this fandom can get and lemme tell you it took a lot in me to decide to post this)

[yo9urt]

mutuals i may be on the verge of becoming a gamer...

#not really LOL not like a serious one at least but umm this could be huge #mine #ok i realize i havent made a personal post in a while so let me explain... #for a while now ive been wanting to get a proper pc so i can play games and also do other stuff (<- macbook air owner) #but i was like ill just wait til i move out cause money and moving etc etc and then i was like well maybe ill get one for black friday #and then i was like no i don't have space and i need to be frugal and it'll be easier to move out if i don't have a pc to worry about #but i still want to play games...COUGH bg3. i really wanna play bg3...and minecraft and stardew valley and the yakuza games also #possibly other games too but anyway i was beginning to lose hope and then i saw someone on some thread somewhere mention the steam deck #and i was like oh yeah waht is that thing (i had never considered it before bc i thought it was more of a serious gamer thing but i also #didnt really know what it was at all anyway back on topic) so i goog'd it and it's like exactly what i need? #it's in my budget + small and portable + can run all the games on my list #(it doesn't run bg3 WELL...you have to be a bit careful with the settings and the framerate is a little messy #but i'm willing to accept that honestly it doesn't bother me i just want to play the game i'll lower my standards) #and with winter break coming up i'm like umm. i need something to do.... #plus they just came out with the oled version and after doing research #even though i want to be frugal i honestly think the 512gb oled seems like the right choice #so. i might order it tomorrow LMAO

[bangcakes]

.

#the boy update is that ive calmed down significantly and am once again a Human #i'll see him when i see him. im not gonna stress anymore #hes busy working like crazy anyway and i need to get a job NDNJDDNDNDMDM #like i still really like him but i think my priorities have been Fucked NDNDJDJDJDJDJD #BUT IM BACK ON TRACK. YA. #my other friends also back from her trip so thats exciting. i missed her JDJJDDJDDDD #i just..... its gonna take me awhile to ask to hang out. im just SHY and also I HAVENT FELT LIKE SEEING ANYONE DJDJZJSKSKSKSKSKSKS #but now im better... yeah i think i just needed like to be a hermit for a bit #plus i suddenly am super busy this week like what the fuck. family AND friend things. like did everyone just Wake Up all of a sudden NDJJD #like we may even see my cousins from alberta. im like JDJDD OK??? #havent seen them in like.... im gonna say 10+ years. and of course its this week that theyre here with my uncle #who ive only met like idk 3 times JDJJDKDKKDJDJD #and of those times... hes been drunk out his mind i think... 2.5/3 NDJDJD #i think hes sober now tho???? #idk. we might not even see them. my moms side is really flakey 💀 #but hes my moms fav brother and shes his fave sister so i hope they get to see each other NDJDJJDJDJD theyre only a year apart #its so weird bc him and my mom were so close but then like... lets just say Life and he moved away and ya zzjjdjdkdj #they had this like. super long like 4 hour talk on the phone a few minths ago and idk i think it cleared up like the last 30 years. idk man #my moms side is crazy. thats all i'll say #personal

[simplydnp]

fuck

#trigger warning for anti-queer legislation & transphobia further in the tags #it's just so. awful. and i forget sometimes cause i'm here on my tumblr bubble & i havent left the house in 3 months due to chronic illness #but i am very lucky to live where i live and get to do what i do and i cant even do that anymore. because of this illness #and while im away. theyre. hurting my kiddos. taking away their rights. 'for the children' they say. fuck off. #'leaves them with less choice as adults' what does that even fucking mean. nothing! it means nothing. its to scare you. #do i need to send a letter home to call a child by a nickname instead of their government birthname?? #i'll let you all in on a secret: my government name is not char. but my teachers called me it. and my parents didnt need to be notified. #and the world didnt end! #i had a pride flag up in my room. and a kid asked me what it meant. and immediately i knew it was delicate. #hes like whats it for. and im like well. what does a flag mean to you? do you have a flag you connect with? #and the kid was like yeah. its like. community. and im like yeah! that's what this is for some people. it's also a show of support. #and the kid said 'oh i get it.' and then a pause. 'i like the colours' and i said me too! #and we talked about his country flag and other country flags and completely moved on #but he listened! and he learned! this kid hardly listens to me teach but he respects when i'm real. #auoghhh. so many kids affected. genuinely makes me ill. on top of everything. #i dont even know #c.text

[anti-dazai-blog]

Got the most baffling ask from [redacted] about an hour ago saying that I should “stop judging Dazai for past actions” and I’m still thinking about it.

What. what does that mean.

#I havent even started analyzing the light novels yet Everything I talk about is in the main manga?? #What “past actions”??? #Regardless of Time not existing (in the Real Life sense) in fiction #So there’s no such thing as “past actions” (in the Real Life sense.) there’s only “before” and “after” the main story #Meaning if there’s a ten year time skip at the end that’s seen as “the future” rather than “the present” #The main story will always be “the present” #The main story doesn’t become “past actions” as soon as there’s something that comes after it #And with the way BSD is written very little could even be considered “the past” in and of itself #Yosano and Kenji’s backstories are shown as flashbacks within the main story so technically they can be seen as “the past” #But the Light Novels are shown as standalone stories (as in you don’t need to read the main manga to read them) #So if I were reading Dark Era then that would be “the present” and the main manga would be “the future” #Because. Time doesn’t move in fiction. It’s stationary. #What’s “the present” is a matter of perspective when you have a story like #The same way when a movie has a sequel. if you watch Movie 1 the sequel is “the future” but if you watch Movie 2 it becomes “the present” #While Movie 1 is “the past” #And that’s not even touching on how fictional characters can be judged by absolutely anything they did at any point of time #Because like I said. Fictional Time Is Stationary. #And I hate to say it but everyone very much judges Real People based on past actions? #Yeah I do actually think people should be held accountable for their crimes and not just forgiven because it happened a while ago #“But judge.. I killed all those people 4 years ago!! Why are you so caught up on the past??” #Anyway back to my original question #In context of this blog. What does that even mean. #(Like. Am I only supposed to talk about the latest chapter or something?) #(Do you sit in literature class going “why’s Hamlet judging Claudius for his past actions??”) #(Like. SIR. That’s a part of the story for a reason.)

[creekbed-burial]

Just found out my favorite bar in Denver went from being completely based on horror movies and showing horror movies to changing to “adapt with the times” to a bar that centers itself around “emo music and sad Drake songs”…gonna kms

#thoughts #depressing how the coolest bar ive ever been to is now just…a cash grab for sadbois #knew that ot was comin tho considering they started to only show horror movies on saturday instead of everyday #but yeah im actually depressed over how bad of a change that is #hehe quick addition to the tags cause i looked online and apparently the dude behind the bar just used horror as a cashgrab so ya know what #mayhaps its ALL just a cashgrab and theyre moving onto the next group they havent pissed off yet

[healingheartdogs]

The nice thing about having two really intelligent dogs is that they watch us interact with each other and learn things that way all the time. Rest/stay is not something I've really worked on with Eevee other than at doorways and baby gates because my dogs aren't allowed to rush entries and exits for safety reasons, but we use it with Hermes in lots of different contexts multiple times a day every day and his rest is very solid and generalized. Just a few minutes ago I told Hermes to rest so I could clean something up without him getting in the way or stepping in it but without specifying that I was talking only to him and Eevee also froze in place with him, stopped moving completely, and then eventually laid down (position switching is allowed during rest for my dogs just not directional movement, plus she's baby and I didn't actually mean to tell her to rest anyway so IDC regardless) still in her spot watching me clean and didn't break until I gave her a treat and released her along with him. I was cheering mentally for her the entire time but trying to contain my reaction until I gave them their release cue so she didn't get excited and break the rest before I was done cleaning because I've never used that command in that kind of situation with her before. She's so smart and good though, I love herrrrr

#i compare myself a lot to other non-disabled dog trainers and it makes me feel like my dogs are untrained messes a lot of the time #but then my dogs do something smart every now and then that reminds me that we do actually train small stuff daily like this #and I'm like oh yeah these are still the best trained dogs I've ever known IRL esp compared to the pet people I know #Hermes especially has a LOT of stuff I've taught him forever ago when i was in better health that he still remembers now #despite a lack of refresher training for a lot of it #and everytime he does something to remind me im like... oh shit i forgot youre actually smart as fuck and pretty well trained bro #like we havent worked on Hermes' emergency down/down at a distance in a long ass time #but a couple weeks ago Selene told Hermes to down from a distance and understandably at first he moved closer to her to down #so she started to indicate that was not what she wanted and before he was halfway to her or she even finished telling him #he turned himself around #went back to the EXACT spot he had been standing in #turned around again to face her in that spot #and then laid down and waited for her to come to him with the treat #literally haven't worked on that in years and wasnt expecting him to remember it #to the point where i was about to correct selene for even asking for it when we havent done it in so long without refresher training first #and then he DID IT #i love my dogs a lot and they're smart af thats it thats the TLDR

[koushirouizumi]

Takeru: {Or we could} {borrow money from} {Koushiro}--- M E: You ALL (YES, EVEN/ESPECIALLY YOU, DAISUKE) had BETTER THANK Koushiro for that later

#koushirouizumi posts #koushirouizumi react #koushirouizumi 02 #koushirouizumi advs #the beginning drama cds #koushiro and daisuke #koushiro and takeru #koushiro and hikari #(No I havent looked at the rest yet) #(but I was told about this part) #(I'd still really like to actually HEAR the dramas for myself so I can determine what the tones and lines sounded like) #(What it did confirm to me was) #izumi corporation #(is still likely in business) #(Meaning Koushiro hadnt quite given it up even post The Beginning) #(which I recall people also briefly fought about a bit in Places???) #(Anyway) #(It also confirms Koushiro may not quite move to a location like Kyōto yet just to research with Haruhiko and Shuu) #(I also cant see Koushiro willingly keeping Koushiros child far from Izumi family when theyre Koushiros childs GRANDPARENTS) #(Yeah) #(Some people seemed to have those theories back then but I always assumed that was a temporary 'startup' like concept for Koushiro) #(to kickstart own research career and then Koushiro would MAINLY be stationed in Odaiba with the rest actively participating) #(which is ALSO WHAT Kakudou implied in the recent blogposts) #(So You Know) #(I'm just making this so I can archive to main later lmao) #(and basically in my stuff I AM Making Them Thank Koushiro if It Happens {Already HAVE Implied Theyve+Takeru Have Done This}) #(because its basically implying Koushiro would make a huge loan to them and theyd be indebted to Koushiro) #(and like? While I dont mind the concept I hope they ACKNOWLEDGE that'd be important to pay Koushiro back???) #(Because Koushiro basically started from *NOTHING* as an ADOPTEE and THEY MAYBE DONT EVEN KNOW THIS!!11!1) #the beginning spoilers

[coloursofaparadox]

hnnnnnnnnnnnmmnn its overshare on the internet o clock

#my shitty ex has sent me a text asking to meet up and talk #and in a predictable move the text itself doesnt actually apologize or acknowledge that she did anything fucked up #it instead says 'we both did some pretty messed up stuff' which. uh. yeah. cool. thanks. #thats like prefacing an apology with 'first of all i still blame you but i guess i couuuldve had something to do with it' #and like. sheesh. my first instinct is to politely say absolutely not jesus christ how do you have the gall to ask me that #i could go my entire life without interacting with you ever again and i would be nothing but better off for it #but. i have not sent that yet. and it has been a while. because i really miss the friend group she....not stole exactly but #because i do not want to be in the same space as her i just. dont get to be around them much any more. #and fuck. i miss my dog so so much. i love lucas too but sarah was the first dog i raised from a baby #and she was just one of those animals that are just. like you love them all but some are different in a way where they're a part of you. #and sarah was mine and she took her from me and ive just barely gotten over it #i dont know if being able to see her again would make it worse or better. #but instinct is telling me to tell her that no theres no chance of us being friends. i need to protect myself and value my own wellbeing. #and that its not that i hate her because i dont but i do intensely dislike the ugly person i realized shes become #and i refuse to continue to let myself be hurt by that without speaking up. #but i still!!! havent!!! said no!!!!! #if i could manage it. and get through a talk with her. and be very clear that im here to attempty just...neutrality and a lack of hostility #and that friendship is not on the table. prep myself on my boundaries and rules for what i will not put up with #and accept that if she does something shitty in response to me keeping myself safe then i have to be prepared to call it off immediately #then. i would see my friends again a lot more often than just one on one every couple months because every group thing involves her #fuck. i dont know. i really really dont want to talk to her ever again but god fucking dammit. #im prepared to move on and rebuild my life and invest in other relationships. i am. ive done it before and slowly built from the ground up. #i can do it again. but it fucking sucks when its most of my irl friends all at once. #idk. idk. i miss my dog so much it hurts but it would be much worse to see her now after how my ex treats her when im not there to stop it #its just something i cant let myself think about or ill just spiral and i cant do that. theres nothing i can do about it. i cant stop it. #fuck.

[lesbiangiratina]

Ive died badly but dizzy is here so ill be okay

#so tiny… i guess thats what $15 will get me #might keep her in the box. im not usually that guy but also i havent bought a 20 yr old figure before #i feel like its a miracle shes still in there so im like. obligated #but yeah putting her on my gg stuff shelf. guardian angel #separate from the testament stuff. sorry #maybe ill move her over there tho… since the gg shelf is like. media. idk #the kat goes meow #gg

[wabbitears]

feddy movie

#EUAGH #SO FUN #okay im gonna ramble abouts spoilers in the tags heads up #dont read further if you havent seen the fnaf movie #bro when springbonnie showed up i was going nuts Its ITS FUCKCING WILLYYYYY #AND TEHENE THE I CANT BELIEVE THEY HAD THE FNAF 1 LIVING TOMBSTONE SONG AT THE END LIKE HOLY SHIT????? #it was a very fun movie. not a great one but boy its good food for longtime fnaf fans like me #i really liked how they handled the dead kids. got a lot of time with them as just. kids!!!!!! #the fact i didn’t recognize matpat right away was fucking with me. i knew his voice and fcukdibg face very well how did i miss him??? #it took him saying thats just a theory and my friend pointing it out for me to notice #it was the clothes im sure #i cant beleive the cupcake was so relevant #more screentime than willy #witch i mean. sad to not see much afton but hes stinky #shoutout to the scene where he gets springlocked OUHGH #also also the animatronics looked so good???? the sound effects the way they moved!!!! the practical effevts were awesome!!! #fort scene was weird not sure what thats about but its silly :] #i cant believe they referenced dream theory chicas magic rainbow and fucking sparky the dog #uhhauhhhh i think thats it yeah #look ive been following this franchise for years i cant be normal about thts movie #its a fun movie watch in theaters to be autistic with the rest of the crowd #wabbit speaks #fnaf #fnaf movie