#YALL WERE ALMOST AT THE END FUCCKFGK

[sweetnestor]

You Look Happier | Chapter 14

university au, teamiplier + jack

platonic/romance/angst/smut <-- read the sin on ao3 ;p

previous chapter

Friday was PAX day one. You would think I’d be the one doing panels and meetups, given the amount of nerves I was feeling. I woke up from a shitty sleep, and the only reason why I got up was because I saw the sun peeking through the curtains. That, and Ethan’s sleeping face was too comical.

Thankfully, things weren’t tense with us after my plane adventure. He was too sweet about it, which made me feel guilty. I really didn’t deserve someone like him. Even while sober, I got emotional over how much better I felt recently. I mean, despite the plane ride. The only difference was that I could push down the unnecessary tears for another time. I had to get ready for the day.

As soon as I started moving around in bed, Ethan stirred in his sleep. His arms went around my waist and pulled me back in before I could make my escape. He held me in a side hug, nosing my neck and humming contently.

“Hi there,” I greeted, amused by his sudden moves.

“Hello,” he sleepily mumbled as he scooted closer to me. “You didn’t let me cuddle last night.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, genuinely confused. I knew I had fallen asleep before him, I just didn’t think I’d push him away. Even in my sleep, I had intimacy issues. “Um… oops.”

He chuckled and kissed my shoulder. Then, he kissed my cheek. “It’s okay.”

Blushing, I turned so I was facing him. “I’m just not used to sleeping next to such a pretty guy.” I smiled as I stroked his cheek, down to his neck, and then his shoulder.

That was when I noticed he was shirtless. I had never seen him shirtless before. It was far more intimate than it should have been. My eyes trailed down his body and well… I was, for lack of a better word, shook.

“Since when do you have abs?” I blurted out, feeling all sorts of things.

“Um…” Ethan laughed nervously. “Since… always? I think?”

I glanced up at him, noticing how red his cheeks had gotten. A smirk etched on my face and I trailed my hand down his body.

“You’re so hot,” I said in a sultry tone, my fingers touching the waistband of his sweatpants. “You know that?”

Ethan didn’t say anything at first. I leaned in closer to him, trailing my fingers from his stomach around to his back.

“A-Am I?” he finally spoke, his voice soft and timid.

Oh my god, it was so endearing.

“Mhm,” I replied as I leaned in to kiss the crook of his neck. I felt him take in a deep breath, so I kept going.

I kissed up and down his neck as I felt up his body. Ethan's breathing got deeper and quicker the more I kissed around his skin. He tightened his grip on my waist, and then trailed his hands to my butt. Just from our bodies pressing together, I knew he was very eager and excited. I wondered if this was what he wanted to happen before I inevitably fell asleep on him.

~

We ended up running a little late to Jack’s panel. I managed to pull off a no foundation look and keep my hair in a high ponytail, fixing some strays along the way. We were practically rushed down to the convention center, where we were even more rushed to the show room where the panel was taking place. Thankfully, it hadn’t started yet, so Ethan and I were relieved once we were seated.

“Where were you guys?” asked Ethan’s friend, Brian, who I had met the day prior. “I was calling you, idiot!” He smacked his friend’s arm.

“I was asleep,” Ethan replied.

“I took forever to get ready,” I said over him.

“Both!” Ethan quickly added.

Someone in the row in front of us laughed. It was Mark, who had turned around. Once he did, so did the people next to him, which were Amy, Kathryn, and Tyler. Mark smirked and put up air quotes. “Yeah. ‘Getting ready.’”

“¡Ayy cochino!” I said as I playfully slapped his hands away and tried not be embarrassed.

Maybe it was the lingering euphoria, but I felt unusually calm sitting in the middle of a row, near the front of the stage. I was able to brush off Mark’s comment and avoid getting flustered and blushy. Maybe it was because it was Jack I was going to see on stage. I also had my boyfriend on my left, and my friends directly in front of me. Jack’s ex-girlfriend was on my right. It was like-

Wait.

My head immediately turned to the girl sitting next to me. I didn’t mean to make a sudden move, but I was surprised, not only at the person, but the fact that she was wearing the exact same black sweater as me. Despite that, I was a little salty that she was here.

She looked back at me, just as surprised. We’ve heard of each other, we had just never met. Honestly, I didn’t think I would meet her like this, when she was blacklisted in my mind.

“Hey Signe!” Ethan happily greeted, and we both jumped.

“Hi!” she replied, quickly composing herself.

That caused Mark, Amy, Kathryn, and Tyler to turn around. They were all happy to see her. She was happy to see them. Or they were all polite and collectively ignoring the elephant in the room. I mean, this group did have a tendency to welcome ex-girlfriends.

“You’re Bella, right?” Signe asked after that wave of greetings. “Sean’s roommate?”

I nodded and pressed on my own fake smile. “Yeah. Um, I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“I know, it seems… awkward,” she said in a tone that matched her words. “But I wanted to see him… and maybe talk to him later.”

To break his heart again? To have the same conversation and hurt him again?

“Oh, cool.”

Signe looked at me, hesitating. “You don’t like me.” It wasn’t a question.

Still, I was taken aback by that statement. I chuckled nervously. “Um, no. I mean… I don’t know you really, I’m just…”

“She’s great with people,” Ethan sarcastically added as he patted my hand.

I sighed. “Thanks, babe.”

Thankfully, the lights went down, indicating the start of the panel.

~

“I can’t believe you never told me!” I snapped once we were all taken out of the room following the panel. I was so utterly betrayed.

“I thought you knew!” Ethan replied in defense. “Babe, listen-” He tried taking my hand, but I quickly pulled it away.

“No! Do you know what this means?” I asked seriously.

He slowed his steps through the narrow hall. “Baby. Don’t do this. Come on, please. Let’s go back to our room, and-”

“I can’t go back to the room with you!”

“Where are you gonna go, then? With Sean? He can’t help you with this, he’s on my side this time!” Ethan shot back, folding his arms. “You know what? Don’t come back to the room! I was willing to talk this out, but if you’re acting this way-”

“You guys are way too passionate about pizza,” pointed out Signe, who was walking with us.

“I don’t like pineapple!” I justified.

“Oh, why don’t you just rip my heart out?” Ethan said to me.

We were escorted to a secluded corridor by enforcers, which eventually led us backstage where we met up with Jack. Or as I like to call him, the other traiter. I would have let him have it, had he not noticed that his ex was among his group of friends. We all kind of knew to leave them alone, so we did just that, and let the enforcers take us somewhere else.

“Do you think-” Ethan was about to say.

“Wait,” I cut him off as we walked away.

“They’re gonna-”

“Shh!”

I waited until we were all out the exit and near the main floor. I had been holding his hand until now, and I quickly pulled it back to my side as I heard people yell. “I know it’s none of my business, but I don’t like her that much.”

“How come?” Ethan asked, surprised at my words and probably my gesture.

“She hurt him.” I shrugged. “Like, she really, really hurt him. She made him fly back to Ireland only to confirm that they were broken up. She abandoned him.”

“Maybe they’ll work it out this time. He looked happy to see her.”

I would have said more, but then we were joined once again by Brian and his girlfriend, Morgan. They were surprisingly easy to talk to, I hadn't felt completely overwhelmed by them just yet.

“Okay, be honest,” Brian said to me, “How much is he paying you to hang out with him?”

“Well, I don't mean to brag,” I replied, “but… four dollars and pudding cup. Like, I don't wanna say I got it made, but…”

Brian looked at Ethan, betrayed. “She gets a pudding cup and I don't?”

It went on like that. It was fun.

We didn't get back to the hotel until nighttime. Once I was alone with Ethan, I was exhausted. It was a fun day, but I could only handle so much interaction. Not only that, Ethan and Brian were approached by fans more often than not, and while most didn't bat an eye at me, I was sure they would speculate online. So that was another thing to worry about. We had never really talked about when we would publicly show our relationship.

“Hey, so are you coming to my signing tomorrow?” Ethan asked me. Even more things to worry about.

I plopped face down onto the bed and sighed. “Do you want me to go?”

“Well, yeah,” he said as he lied down next to me. “But if it's too stressful for you, then you don't have to stay obviously. But I do want you there.”

Everything is already stressful. I'm not dead, but I'm stressed. I wanted to go home already.

“What about your followers?” I asked. “What’ll they think?”

“I'm sure they figured it out already,” he told me. “I already saw some stuff on Twitter. It's mostly positive.”

I scoffed, grumpy. “I literally do not believe you, but I'm too tired to see for myself.”

“Well, it's true. Some things can turn out positive, believe it or not.” He got up and went to the bathroom.

What was that supposed to mean? How could people not hate me? I went from Mark to Ethan in less than a year, and I knew how shady that looked! Mark had never seen the dark parts of his community until I came into the picture. It could be the same with Ethan's. It had to be the same.

I would have brought it up when he got out of the bathroom but then there was a knock on the door. That sound alone gave me enough energy to get up, grab my skincare products and hide in the bathroom.

~

The next day was Mark’s panel with Tyler, Ethan, Bob, and Wade. In other words, there was no time for fun things under the sheets this time, so I couldn’t find it in me to relax or not think of my empty apartment in Los Angeles. I couldn’t really think rationally either, and that probably had to do with the fact that Ethan had to leave beforehand.

“Will you be okay?” he asked while I was getting ready.

“Yeah.” I’ve learned nothing. “Jack is gonna come find me and…” I trailed off as I filled in my eyebrows with a brush.

“And we’ll never know,” Ethan joked with a small laugh.

I looked at him through the reflection in the mirror. He looked so cute and happy in his dark red pants and navy shirt. He even had his glasses on and everything. I double checked to make sure my brows were okay before standing up to face him.

“Good luck,” I told him with a smile. “I’m proud of you, and you look adorable.”

“Oh, stop!” he replied as he dramatically waved it off. “I’ll see you in the audience?”

“I’ll be the pink dot sitting by the green dot.”

Ethan smiled before quickly kissing me goodbye. As soon as he was out the door I dropped my fake happy expression. I wanted to support him, despite that it took all of my energy. I was starting to remember why I always avoided big events like this. Only a couple more days.

By the time I finished doing my makeup, Jack had come by my room. He was alone, but he looked perkier than usual. He looked happy. I envied him.

“I’m almost ready,” I told him, my brain feeling like static.

“Can we talk for a second?” he requested before adding, “it’s about me and Signe.”

“Okay.”

We sat on the foot of the bed. I had a feeling I already knew what he was going to say, but I had to hear it to be sure.

“We got back together last night.” As expected.

I nodded lightly.

“You think I made the wrong choice,” Jack assumed.

Come on, Baller. Use your words.

“No,” I said. “Well - I’m sorry, I’m just… really tired and… drained. It’s not you, sorry.”

“So you’re cool with it? That we’re back together?” he asked hopefully.

That’s when I hesitated. “Let me put it this way: what if I got back with my ex-boyfriend after everything he put me through? After you saw how I acted and what I did because of him. What would you think of that?”

Jack considered my words and then nodded understandingly. “Okay, I get it.”

“But still,” I continued. “It’s your life, and I want you to be happy, and if she still makes you happy, despite everything, then… I’ll welcome her with my open, anxious arms.”

He chuckled. “Okay. Thanks, Bellers. And, just so you know, I was angry at Mark for a while after what he did to you. It takes time for all of that to pass, so I understand if you don’t warm up to Signe right away.”

“I’ll be nice to her, don’t worry.”

“That’s all I ask.”

~

Mark’s panel was as extra as you could expect. He made the audience scream and wave for the first three minutes. Claimed the room wasn’t big enough for his ego. Then he introduced each of his friends in an equally extra manner.

“The one and only… Tyler! The undying smile! Stand please!”

“Ethan…” (“Is that my introduction?” He pulled a dab.) “The crankiest boy in the West… and the East! Watch as he… introduces himself…” (“Hey… it’s me!”)

“Me. Mark. The unbelievable. Mark. The girthy. Shout big words at me!” (The audience booed, myself included.)

“Bob! Who needs no introduction!”

“Tears come to my eyes when I think of this man. The man who has done so much amazing things in my life, and your guys’s…” (Ethan: “Dude are you crying?”) “Shut up. This man who, not only motivated me when I was in the early stages of my channel… Wade!” (“What’s the catch?” He went to hug Mark.)

Then, the show started. Each guy expressed their opening statements. Ethan did a backflip. Then, Mark announced a tour. The five of them. On the road. Four shows in June. Many cities in the fall. Why was it daunting and intimidating? Because Mark started talking about each member of the team individually.

“Bob and Wade have been my friends for a long time, Tyler has been with me since the beginning, Ethan-”

“I mean nothing to you,” he said with a laugh.

“Let me get to it!” Mark replied after some banter. “So, Ethan is a newcomer to the team but he’s been indispensable in everything we’ve been doing. ‘A Date with Markiplier’ wouldn’t have happened without him, or without Tyler. Or without anybody on the team.” He pointed to a section of the audience. “Amy and Kathryn, you guys are unbelievable. Amy, is my inspiration in everything that I do.”

The audience lost it at that moment. But Mark quickly got their attention again.

“And! I lied, Ethan isn’t the newcomer anymore! Bella, our dear friend Bella, she’s part of the team now and she’s going to be helping us with a lot of cool stuff!”

Once again, the audience lost it. Oh no, attention. Jack nudged my side, and I blushed and kept a stiff smile on my face. I kept my eyes firmly on the guys on stage. Luckily, Mark was able to diffuse that uproar and bring the attention back to the tour.

The guys played some improv games and then talked more about the show without giving away anything major. Then they answered some Twitter questions. It was generally very good and fun, I was able to forget about being put on the spot for the duration of the panel.

One question was the deep and inevitable, “What would you tell your younger self?” All the guys had deep, emotional answers but for some reason, Mark admitting that he was very happy where he is now got me. For a minute, that douchebag persona went away and he genuinely said he was happy. It was actually nice to hear. Also, Tyler said to focus on the small bits of joy instead of everything that was going wrong, and I did not need to hear that at all… but I did.

Finally, Mark fucking cried. It was understandable, though. He got so deep and into the moment that it made some tears arise. It made me think back to our early days at YTU, when he would tell me about everything he wanted to do. His mind was all over the place, and his heart was, or still is, in a good place. He wanted to make change, he wanted to do good things.

He changed mine. I wouldn’t be here, alive or dead, if he wasn’t so determined to talk to me back in 2014.

~

After the panel ended, Jack, Signe, Amy, Kathryn, and I were escorted backstage where we met up with the guys. Then, we all ventured out back to the hotel. For some fucking reason, we decided to walk. Outside. Where it was snowing. I was brutally reminded that I was in fact a desert rat. I held Ethan’s hand like it was a lifeline until we made it back to the hotel.

That was when I slowly started to lose it again. I felt exhausted, but my heart and brain were working overtime. I tried to distract myself by looking on my phone when we were in the elevator, only to find a stalker photo of my and my boyfriend on Tumblr. It was taken from behind, our colorful hair sticking out like sore thumbs. We were holding hands, or I was hugging Ethan’s arm and standing awfully close to him while we were surrounded by people. I honestly didn’t remember where in the convention center we were when that was taken, but it made me feel awfully weird. It wasn’t a little secret anymore.

“Now they know for sure,” Ethan said when I showed him. “That means you can go to my signing!”

If I don’t die first.

“Ooh, that’s gonna be fun,” Amy spoke up from behind us. “Everyone is generally really nice, don’t worry.”

I nodded, despite that I wanted to drown myself in the mini bar in our hotel room. That was a bad sign, right? I felt the need to sedate myself somehow. That’s bad.

Thankfully, I was able to get in some resting time. Ethan was super persistent on getting me to stick with him all day, and if I was going to do that, I had to keep to myself for a bit. I had to be a good girlfriend, but I couldn’t do it while I was on edge.

The mini bar was awfully tempting though. It was on top of the mini fridge, which was right next to the desk where I had my makeup laid out. However, Ethan was sat behind me on the bed. Maybe I could just wait until he went to the bathroom or something.

“Are you putting makeup on top of your makeup?” he asked at one point.

“Just on my eyes,” I replied, sounding distant for a multitude of reasons. “Maybe I’ll go nuts and put on false eyelashes.” Or I’ll go nuts in general. Whichever happens first.

At least I had new products to try out. Three hundred dollars’ worth of items. My soft, neutral look from this morning was quickly turned into a glittery cut crease. I was blown away by this liquid eyeshadow, I had to stop myself from reacting the way I did in my videos: an excited squeal and dropping a thousand f-bombs. Oh, and I did add false lashes. I got carried away in the name of distractions. When I finished the look, I turned to Ethan.

“Too much?” I asked.

“Huh?”

I waved around my face. “Do I look okay? Too much glitter? Too much glow?”

Ethan scooted up so he was at the foot of the bed and directly in front of me. He put on a mock thoughtful face and stroked his chin.

“Hmm, turn your head,” he told me, and I obliged. “Yes, very shiny. Very… contour-y. You sacrificed many babies to look this pretty, I can tell.”

I breathed out a laugh and looked him in the eyes again.

“Shiny nose,” he mumbled.

“In an oily way or a glowy way?” I asked as I reached for my compact.

“Glowing,” he quickly replied, grabbing my hand to stop me. “It’s adorable! Ya look gore-gus!”

“Aw, thanks boo!” I said, waving it off. “Now, come here. I have to do a kiss test.”

That caught him by surprise. “Kiss test?”

I pointed to my mouth. “New liquid lipstick. I need to see if it transfers, and it’s boring to kiss the back of my hand.”

He chuckled. “Okay, then.”

We moved closer to each other, I placed a hand on his shoulder, and I kissed him right on the mouth. Yes, this was a ploy to make out with him, but it was also for research! I had to keep it short, though. Too much kissing would obviously make the color transfer. I pulled back and quickly ran my thumb over his lips, doing a quick inspection.

“Alright, cool,” I concluded as I turned back towards the mirror.

“That’s it?” Ethan asked.

“Yup! Thank you, chulo!”

“Tease!”

_______

final chapter

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #jacksepticeye x oc #markiplier x oc #ylh fic #sweetheart writes #YALL WERE ALMOST AT THE END FUCCKFGK #i really think yall will like the ending #like #we just experienced the jackella ending if u will #those ends got tightened up so we know theyre good #theyre friends forever or something like that lmao #ethella look like theyre in a good place so that feels... final? #theres just a few more bits to wrap up and put a bow on top #and then its over #fuhccfjf