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theriverpersonshadow · 3 years

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Lamia Drama Part 11

Heyooo. Guess who’s back... kinda. ^^;;; Not my favorite chapter by a long shot, but the idea got stuck in my head just enough to type out.

I hope tumblr doesn’t mess up the double-space formatting between texting and Liam’s thoughts, but I think it’s still distinguishable regardless.

A little bit of context for those who don’t play much DnD: Hexblade warlocks get their power from a patron who gives them a magic weapon. Fighters get a fighting style that allows them perks based on what kind of weapon they use. Sorcerers have inborn magic, and wild magic can make weird things happen sometimes.

Also, I know that it’s spelled y’all, but for some reason my fingers insist that it’s ya’ll??? Idek.

Aaaaaaanyways, these lamia species come from @vex-bittys ! Enjoy! <PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT>

Liam sighed happily as he stretched himself out in his enclosure. His skull-cap had been removed for the night. In theory he could, and probably should, leave it on, but the tacky substance that held it in place irritated his bones and itched horribly. Plus it just felt like something was sitting on his head all the time. It’s not like he had any nerves in the fake-bone, so it just felt like a dead weight. Bandage and cloth wraps were far more comfortable and did just as good of a job at keeping things out of his head. But in the safety of his own habitat with daylight hours away? There wouldn’t be much harm in letting it air out a little. Air swirled into his skull as he moved, tickling the inside, as he slid on top of the silky, plush pillows and under a warmed up heating blanket.

Normally he wouldn’t put on heat for the night unless it was freezing, it was easier to sleep in cool air, at least for him, but his eyes kept darting to his phone on its charger. Normally he’d have put it away by now, but they’d gotten Alex’s number and added her to the DnD group chat, Snarls and Snakes, so everyone with a phone was still chatting (save for Nikolai).

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): i demand you guys pronounce it G’nome. yeah i wear the pointy hat. m a G’arden G’nome

Devising Machinations (Keith): Your character still needs a NAME.

Pledged Companion (Trousle): YES, LAZYBONES!

Proxy Child (Alex): Names are hard, I get it m’dude.

Problematic Changeling (Liam): Still, that’s just lazy.

Devising Machinations (Keith): Oh hey, ya got your phone back. Nice :)

Problematic Changeling (Liam): They couldn’t keep it from me~

Pledged Companion (Trousle): THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS!

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): dude caps

Pledged Companion (Trousle): I AM SMALL, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ME IF I DON’T SHOUT

Proxy Child (Alex): That… That isn’t how text works???

Pledged Companion (Trousle): ALSO THE SHIFT KEY IS STARTING TO ACT BUGGY. I DON’T WANT TO ASK FOR A PHONE OR KEYBOARD UNTIL THIS IS DEAD THOUGH

Devising Machinations (Keith): *nods* Understandable.

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): p sure that liam got it for good behavior

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): suck up

Problematic Changeling (Liam): IT IS A VALID HUNTING STRATEGY!!! Deception is JUST as valuable as being able to bite things. Sometimes. I’m more fond of biting deer than trying to play mind games with them.

Or he assumed he would be, if he got to see a deer. He was old enough to be rented out to handle overpopulated areas, but he wasn’t very popular… People saw the eye and all other thought seemed to go out the window. Nevermind that deer and rabbits pound at the ground like they were trying to break the earth, no one cared about that. They only cared that he was down an eye. Fuck them.

Devising Machinations (Keith): Everyone happy with their characters before I get started with anything in depth? I’ve talked to Hux, dude’s fine ^u^

Proxy Child (Alex): I think so??? I’m still trying to figure out whether or not to main in Hexblade or just go straight fighter. I mean, getting the fighting style is well worth dipping into it regardless, but, like, would my character *want* help from another fae, or is this something she felt she needed to do herself? Like, making pacts and stuff would make her seem more fey-y, but does she WANT to be fey-y? Or would I rather have her intentionally shun all of it?

Devising Machinations (Keith): Not a call I can make, but can’t wait to hear about it.

Problematic Changeling (Liam): I’ve had similar questions… I do think I’m going sorcerer one way or another, wild magic of course, since they’re inherently magic, but would they have been trying to learn other things as well?

There was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on with their characters. They seemed so juicy already, enough angst and plot potential for them both to sink their teeth into, but something felt slightly off…

Proxy Child (Alex): I guess it comes down to whether my character (who I will give a name to, eventually) would want the “crutch” of a more powerful fae helping them out, or if they’d rather prove their own worth.

Liam’s fingers were typing before he’d even thought it through.

Problematic Changeling (Liam): Prove your own worth. You don’t need someone hand-holding you through life.

Pledged Companion (Trousle): I DON’T SEE WHY NOT. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH NEEDING ASSISTANCE, BOTH IN GENERAL AND *ESPECIALLY* WHEN EVERYONE AROUND YOU CAN DO THINGS YOU CANNOT.

Proxy Child (Alex): Ya’ll both have points, just ain’t sure. I might have to try writing or RP’ing her a little to figure out what kind of person she is. Have to get a feel for her first, y’know?

Devising Machinations (Keith): That’s fine by me. No pressure ^^

Pledged Companion (Trousle): YES, NO REASON TO STRESS ABOUT IT, YOU’VE GOT AT LEAST A WEEK! YOU’LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING GREAT!

Proxy Child (Alex): Thanks dudes.

Proxy Child (Alex): I really like your character btw, Liam. Kinda wish I’d come up with that first XD It’s relatable, y’know? Though maybe a little too close to home anyways, ya’ll ain’t my therapists. Can’t wait to see how you play them out.

Problematic Changeling (Liam): It’s going to be awesome, naturally. Are you sure you can keep up with me?

Proxy Child (Alex): Honey, I don’t think you know what kind of angst machine you’re dealing with here >:3c

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): oh boy thisll be fun

Pledged Companion (Trousle): GUYS I’M PUTTING YOU ON MUTE. I’M KEEPING EVERYONE UP. GOODNIGHT! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): night trus

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): also you should just play every single class at once

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): itd be HISSterical

Devising Machinations (Keith): XD Dude. No. Just no. Also, you’re ripping that off from Puffing Forest

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): lies and slander

Problematic Changeling (Liam): You watch it *while we game* sometimes. I’m half deaf and I can still hear it!

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): it aint my fault you take 5ever on turns sometimes

Problematic Changeling (Liam): Well SOME of us know how to strategize.

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): yeah, trus

Proxy Child (Alex): PFFFFFT. Oozy omg. XD But I oughta go to bed. I’ve got work tomorrow. Sleep tight ya’ll!

Devious Machinations (Keith): Niiiight!

Problematic Changeling (Liam): I’ll get you back for that Oozy. But really, I’m looking forward to this. It’s been a while since we got fresh blood in.

The last time they had was Trousle. Being the only bitty and the youngest of the group, they hadn’t been friends with him nearly as long as with each other, but he was still quite fun to have around. He was starting to grow on Liam, honestly. Liam had to respect his relentless optimism, at least to a degree. Albeit, Papython in general tended to be unwaveringly positive, but it seemed deeper than the surface-level sugar of some of his breed.

Pointy Combatant (Oozy): sleep sounds good actually. Night

Devising Machinations (Keith): Saaaame. Night everyone

Problematic Changeling (Liam): Goodnight.

Liam put the phone back and turned the heat off on the blanket, putting it over his head and settling in for the night. He was grateful that his wing tended to be pretty quiet; he never could sleep well with noise, lights, or too much movement, though the pillows muffled the vibrations in the ground nicely. No one was going to come anyways, not this late. Even if they did, he was a light enough sleeper to wake up and bite before the other even knew what hit them. He drifted to sleep alternating between contemplating his DnD character, and imagining hunting a deer.

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lucarioisinthevoid · 4 years

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Everytime I hear the song 'I've no more fucks to give' by Thomas Benjamin Wild I can't help but think of Mike--

You know, I love getting new music from all of you guys way too much, it’s always such a roll of the dice, except all of the sides are either “awesome” or “hilarious”.

But I gotta disappoint you all, the only TRUE Mike song out there is “Chris Ray Gun KYS” by Cool Songs. It’s the most Mike any song will ever get and literally the one thing I based his character on (aside from some joke comics floating around), which should explain why I’m so baffled all you guys even like him. This here song though? On a scale from M1ke to M10ke? You fucking NAILED it. I mean, Mike would fucking WISH to be so classy in his fucklessness, but he sadly is a bit too much of a primal bastard to get onto this level. Maybe when he absolutely loses his mind at the end of a very stressful day. He’s getting there actually, getting some more class from Simon and eventually he will reach peak “no more fucks to give”. Dream big. Seriously this song is so good I’m losing it right now, I need to draw something with this sometimes, oh god- Mike was humming as cleaned the tables, a smile on his face. A rather terrifying situation, as everyone present had to consider being stuck in a parallel dimension of some sort- Of course, everyone aside from Jeremy, who was secretly the bravest character. “Mike! You’re in a good mood! What happened?” “I’ve got send a good song.” “Oh! That’s cool! Can I listen to it?” Mike shortly looked at the Phone Guy who simply raised an eyebrow. Admittedly, he was curious too, but wouldn’t get involved with that. But the guard took it as a go ahead and put on the music, so he was able to hear it anyways, without needing to ask. It took all of 26 seconds for the surprised smiles to turn into mortified expressions- Of course, for everyone, but the four resident edgelords. Old Sport was the first one to chime in and start singing along. “I've no more fucks to give! My fucks have runeth dry!” Naturally Dave followed his lead. “I've tried to go fuck shoppin’ but there ain’t no fucks left to buy!” Nemo coughed and then took the spotlight with an oddly melodic voice. “I've no more fucks to give! Though more fucks I’ve tried to get! I'm over my fuck budget, and I’m now in fucking debt!” Slowly Phone Guy buried his lack of a face in his hands, accepting that “fuck – the musical” would apparently become a thing now. Finally, the ending approached and Mike took the cake, as he jumped on top of the table he has JUST been cleaning- “I've no more fucks to give!

I've noooo mooooore fucks!

I've noooo moooooore fucks!

I'VE NOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOORE FUCKS TOOOOO GIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!”

At last, the song was over and for once everyone seemed to be at peace. Jeremy quietly coughed. “Uhm- it’s- it’s a very nice melody… I guess…?” “I should fucking put it on more often!” Mike nodded, enthusiastically. Dave though was done with it for now. “Ya know, Mikey, if ya would use less fucks in your sentences, maybe you’d have some fucks when ya need them. You’re pretty irresponsible with your fuck-stash. Maybe get help budgeting your fucks?” “Oh shut the fuck up.” Before the guard could get into an actual argument with Dave, Old Sport decided to pull the aggro back onto himself. “I mean, that too, but consider, Mike! We’ll make a musical based around the songs that people send in! OF COURSE, YOU’LL BE THE MAIN CHARACTER-“ The last part had to be screamed to be understandable, as he was forced to run away from the now VERY violent Mike. What do they say? Kill the idea before it spreads? Yeah, that tends to work, right? Loyally Dave jumped in, to once more distract Mike, ping-ponging him between himself and his partner like usual. “Okay, so what’s it gonna be, Sportsy? It’ll start with Mike the absolutely sexy emo boy that we’re tryin’ to get the attention from? ‘Fuck me, Emo Boy!’” Grinning he watched as the man came to a screeching hold and turned right around, Dave gave him a short head-start to let him get JUST close enough to make the chase worth it. Old Sport stopped to catch his breath, grinning. It was like holding a red towel in front of a bull... GLORIOUS. Nemo scoffed. “Hello? The frick? The only one getting the title of EMO BOY, is me, OKAY? Literally, don’t even @ me, this is straight FACTS.” “How old are you again? I don’t think this song should be about you-“ “I might be a young soul, but I’m at least as old Mike!” He bragged, just for Mike to scoff, as he ran. “Yeah fucking sure. As if.” By now he was a little too close to Dave for comfort and Old Sport put his hands back to his mouth. “HE MIGHT NOT LOOK LIKE HE GETS BITCHES, BUT HONEY, THAT DICK IS ELEVEN INCHES!” Worked as always and Old Sport got ready- But of course, Nemo couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Isn’t that just average though? Like, I never thought I should mention that I-” Instantly he was forced to regret his words as Mike was close enough to grab him and put him into a headlock, slowly pressing his breath out of him. “YOU’RE NOT FUCKING OLD ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT SHIT LIKE THAT-“ Between his suffocating squeaking noises, Nemo spit out his last words. “Not… old enough… to talk about… my dick… but… old enough… to die…?” “YOU’RE ALWAYS FUCKING OLD ENOUGH TO DIE.” “… inspi… rational…” Quickly the Orange Guy had sneaked up though to free his fellow-minded co-worker. Without wasting a second he put a pair of headphones over Mike’s head. “No more fucks, remember? Why are you so upset?” Thankfully, that worked and Mike was prevented from committing a felony. Letting go of the boy he groaned and pressed the headphones against his ears, in an attempt to make it louder and forget about everything else. In that pose he stumbled towards the office. “If anyone needs me today- go fuck yourself.” With that the metal doors slammed shut.

#the Group

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adrrianraines · 5 years

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hi! i just started playing choices, and i wanted to hear your opinion on what books are worth spending diamonds for and what books aren't. thank you so much :))

hi there love, welcome to the fandom!! enjoy the circus! it gets rowdy but it’s entertaining– 🤡

i just wanna tell u that my opinion may differ from others so you’re free to seek other opinions too if you deemed my answer unsatisfacory ! so lemme list to u what books are worth to waste diamonds on and which ones are not in my opinion. the ones i might have not mentioned are probably in between or in the middle.

so, for diamond spending, if you’re kinda on the economic budget level of can afford to purchase some-many, then these books are the bomb and would definitely be worth your penny.

i. : bloodbound. pretty ironic huh considering i’m a bloodbound idiot myself. lmao. but it’s worth every penny if u haven’t farmed enough diamonds! also yes you can farm in this app. the reward system is pretty generous once u know how to utilize it. tho some LIs wouldn’t have an immediate diamond option while others have one almost immediately, just weigh whether u need to purchase it or not. the diamond scenes for each LI is equally compelling and incredibly worth it. what i do tho for the most efficient way of spending those ingame currencies is that i don’t buy all outfits. u don’t actually need it. some scenes may suggest but honestly? ive tried having the outfits and not having it and it’s not that much of a difference. i keep the diamonds to spend for important scenes such as the tapestries for back stories and some diamond scenarios that might be informative/entertaining. i’ve bought all diamond options for Adrian so sue me

ii. : the royal romance/heir. same thing with bloodbound. sure, the hair options are majestic. the outfits? have u seen other books release stylish outfits? i personally have not. it’s really magnificent. although sometimes pb milks it, if you’re smart & can live with letting down ur LI for not spending a penny on their vanilla smuts and group gatherings then you’re good to go! just spend it on important pieces of scenes/info that are being paywalled by pb for god knows what reason. trust me, you might be baited but not all diamond options are actually worth it. i love trr/trh don’t get me wrong but this bitch is poor so sure as heck not gonna spend my diamonds like a mad banshee on random shenanigans.

iii. : open heart. dear god. the backbone of all those reused faces in like whatever new book that comes out with pb as of late. jesus. btw the diamond options are worth it! i like to spend diamonds for my LI and some options that are needed by the plot. you’ll know which are those once u get to start the book! i just don’t buy anything related to appearances unless it’s necessary to the plot. pb ain’t gonna bait this broke bitch because if my LI truly loves me they’ll accept me even if i wear a garbage bag

iv. : platinum. okay? where should i begin? because u actually need diamonds in this book? hello? i started this book without spending diamonds and where did that take me? a broken guitar, missed opportunities and slow rising fanbase lmao. so please do yourself a favor, save up and check out walkthroughs on how to survive being a star without spending diamonds like crazy. there are actually various options available but u can check it urself so u will be guided. i made terrible choices with my brokeass here and let’s just not talk about that

v. : it lives anthology ( it lives in the woods & it lives beneath ) anyone who knew my ass will know that i’m so much of a cheapskate that i didn’t spend a single diamond on this godtier book and i survived just fine. u can check walkthroughs but i doubt it’ll be much of a help since most of the critical choices are timed and u need to use 200% of ur brain to survive this mess. lmao. okay not 200% but u get my point. ilitw requires to many diamond options to raise nerves of ur crew but u will be fine if u just spend it on important stuff. BUT SURPRISE BITCH LMAO EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT OTHERWISE U R DEAD OR UR FRIENDS ARE DEAD LMAO. but in ilitw u can save the maximum survivors by just making all the right choices!

don’t even get me started on ilb. it lives beneath? THE BITCH DIES BENEATH. LIKE HOW– THE AUDACITY– i lost a fucking pinky because i was too much of a coward to spend my nonexistent diamonds. like how dare thee! lmao. just... just spend ur diamonds for this for the most critical and crucial circumstances. make the correct choices and then you’re good to live. it also has options on where u don’t need to spend diamonds but still making the correct choices under pressure either by timed or by confusion contributes greatly to this story.

vi. : nightbound. YES. YES PLEASE. nightbound is 100% worth to spend on. have u seen that hair? god i love that ombre color!! also uhhh please buy some weapons for ur own good lmao. and just be wise on where those diamonds are going. i always stick by a rule whenever it comes to spending ingame currencies– don’t buy if it’s not necessary to the plot. just purchase what is important, collect information to unlock scenes at the end and choose ur choices wisely. don’t die.

vii. : the elementalists. now. this book. GDI THIS BOOK. this is freaking diamond book???? whenever u spend ur day with ur LI gosh it will ask for diamonds. ( ily beckett dear but ur gf is a brokeass bitch & i cant always spend time with u picking flowers or hanging out with merpeople /crying obscenely ) there are diamond options here that are more important than the smexy scenes with ur LI. diamond options that will allow u to learn things and get equipments that will be ultra useful for the story and plot. what i love about this book is that it’s so personalized to the point that u might feel u truly r ur mc that’s why u might be compelled to purchase things such as outfits and etc but honestly? i went to the dance with the most lameass garb but still got to enjoy it just the same. but the diamonds you spend to learn new infos and heighten ur power? those are the most worth it tbfh. also some non diamond options are actually good than the diamond ones so enjoy familiarizing the world of brokeass people while playing. that’s just me telling u that since im broke i didnt get to glimpse those diamond options sob

viii. : a courtesan of rome. YOOOOOOO this book is wild lmao! i’m incredibly torn whether to tell u to waste ur diamonds for ur LIs or be frugal and choose wisely. follow ur heart while playing this. i absolutely loved how, even if not wearing the most delightful garbs, ACOR mc still kills it as a courtesan. u know what they say, true beauty shines even in the darkest places or the smarmiest set of clothes. she can wear a guard’s armor and she still be slayin. very pretty. i’m in awe.

ix. : perfect match. more like the perfect way to go broke lmao. honestly a god tier book. spend wisely and watch out for options that will ask u to spend diamonds to contribute to the plot. some options will ask u like honestly the other books so by now you know what to do. stay for the plot. it’s really great. and while u r playing please tell eros they suck. 😌

x. : mother of the year. i beg of you to spend ur diamonds on ur child please they deserve the world.

xi. : desire and decorum. honestly speaking i haven’t done that much diamond spending except for my upcoming wedding in book 3 so yes. same applies with what i said, look out and watch for options that will require u to spend but will provide u juicy information as a result. i haven’t bought a single outfit for my mc. i just bought diamond options for my LI and some for some important info and perhaps a bit of information for investigations.

xii. : ride or die: a bad boy romance. GOD. SPEND THOSE DIAMONDS. SPEND THOSE DIAMONDS 🚨🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL I TELL YOU. lmao jk but heyyyy god tier book with worth it purchases ! awesome character designs whispers mona eherm i’ll probably replay to try colt’s route since i’ve honestly only been all about mona for this book but yes. worth the diamonds ! in this book i have spoiled myself and honestly every diamond purchase with the mpc is super duper ultra worth it !

xiii. : books like wishful thinking, veil of secrets, endless summer, the crown and the flame are god tier books that are incredibly worth it for ur diamonds. trust me. tcatf actually has a point system where u can gain in game points and can choose whether to use it or use diamonds for certain options. honestly godtier. endless summer has an interesting way in gaining and losing nerve points and relationship points too! veil of secrets needs ur diamonds for investigation and clue finding and wishful thinking has a very unique premise. everything is worth it.

xiv. : i’m adding the freshman series because /zig ortega/ is worth every penny please and also HSS Class Act and HSS. if you’ve played pb’s highschool story which is a separate app then you’ll enjoy these books.

some books like AME and RCD will require u to spend diamonds for options and might demand it for the plot but i got through everything there and really u can play it without doing so.

honey please don’t spend diamonds for home for the holidays and sunkissed. please. i beg of you. unless u spend diamonds for eliana then fine forgiven but ugh. just please no.

the books i haven’t mentioned like RoE is something i honestly wouldn’t mind with or without spending diamonds. the story is just the same. some are paywalled options. leo’s options are actually interesting since it will shed some light for cordonia but i havent seen pb tackle it directly to the main trr series so idk about that.

others can add some info too to help our dearest friend here so if you must, feel free to jump the ship and add 💞✨

#playchoices #asks #anonymous #idek what im talking about thank u for thinking of me while asking but im honestly a broke bitch idek how to tell u what books r worth it #ive been living frugally and being careful of how i spend this bitch is broke

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chibinightowl · 6 years

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A Man Walks Into a Saloon

@charcoal-soul, your little head cinemas are going to be the death of me.

For those who aren’t privy to these little headcanons, welcome to the Wild West where Bruce is the town Sheriff, Dick is his secret deputy who really has too much fun wearing a skirt, and Stephanie runs the local saloon.

I could be persuaded to continue this. We’ll see.

~*~*~*~

Dick is a performer, through and through. It’s in his blood, is part of the very essence of who he is. But just because he’s on stage dancing his heart out in men’s burlesque show in front of a crowd of rowdy customers doesn’t mean he’s not paying attention to what’s going on around him. Bruce trained him better than that.

Not that anyone knows he’s a deputy for the wily sheriff. Much of his work here at Stephanie’s saloon is just that. Work. Bartending and running tables when he’s not on stage or rehearsing, but through it all, he keeps an eagle eye out for folks who just don’t look like they belong here. He’s gotten to a point where it’s practically a sixth sense.

And that sense is screaming at him as his blue gaze lands on the tall man who strides into the saloon and takes a seat at the bar. He looks road weary and dusty like most do in these parts, as does his companion, an equally tall woman with fiery locks barely contained in her long braid. Normally his attention would be on the redhead, especially since she’s dressed in men’s clothes rather than the divided riding skirt that’s more common in these parts, but Dick keeps going back to her dark-haired companion. There’s just something about him that sends a tingle down his spine.

This warrants further investigation.

But first, there’s a show to finish.

When he and the other men are done, they hop off stage and work the crowd. Or rather, Dick works the crowd while the others run off and change. While they’re all part of the entertainment, he’s the only one as comfortable in women’s clothing as he is men’s. And that means more tips and more attention for him. Dick has no problems playing both sides of the fence and Stephanie knows he’s more than capable of taking care of himself if someone gets too handsy.

One less thing for the saloon owner to worry about.

Dick slowly makes his way to the bar, stopping here and there as he does to chat. One woman even stopped him to ask where he found the rich blue silk that stands out so vibrantly against the black of his skirt.

“Had it special ordered from St. Louis,” he says, twirling around so she could see the full effect of it. “No offense to Mr. Pennyworth, but this just ain’t something he keeps in stock down at the general store.”

“It sure isn’t,” she agreed, her eyes lingering not only on the silk, but also on the ribbed corset in matching colors going up his waist.

Dick grins and winks at her as he walks off. The corset is strictly for show, as is the little bolero jacket he wears over it. His best friend Wally often teases him for how he looks in costumes like this, but to him, it’s all part of the act. Stephanie doesn’t care what he wears as long as it brings in customers, so he’s allowed free rein.

As he approaches the bar, he can’t help but like what he sees and wonders if maybe the shiver earlier was simply him picking up on the gorgeous hunk of a man sitting there. From behind, all he can see is broad shoulders, well muscled arms, and a solid trunk of a torso. The man’s jacket falls over the back of the barstool so Dick can’t make out the rest of the package, but so far, things look promising. Time for a closer inspection.

The stool on the man’s right is open, so Dick flops down with a flourish of silk and lace. “Hey, Steph! Got anything you’d think I like?” he calls out to the busy bartender/owner. The blonde woman knows better than to give him too much alcohol after a show (especially since he has another set in an hour) but dancing and flirting is thirsty work.

“Honey, you like it all,” she replies, dropping a pint of beer in front of him. “Try not to have too much fun in that new skirt of yours.” Steph winks and bustles off, her own purple and black striped dress looking fantastic on her. He’d ordered the silk for hers along with his own.

Dick salutes her with his glass. Turning, he looks at the two strangers and instantly, his heart starts beating harder. The woman is stunning, but the man…he can’t find words to describe him. His face looks like something out of one of Tim’s history books, the ones about Ancient Rome or Greece.

Time to turn his flirting up a notch.

“Hello, stranger,” Dick says with a saucy smile and runs a gloved hand over the smooth fabric of his skirt, outlining his thigh in the process. He picks up his beer and takes a sip, eyeing the man over the rim. The man is dressed for traveling, his dark brown leather jacket shiny with age. A dusty cowboy hat rests on the bar next to an empty shot glass and a mostly full glass of beer. “You must be new in town,” he offers with a wink. “I’d never forget a face like yours.”

The man honest to god blushes. Dick wants to crow in delight as red stains his cheeks.

“Yeah, Arty and I are just passin’ through.” The man replies as he tries for casual, even running an awkward hand through his black hair while his companion laughs boisterously. He’s young, probably around Dick’s age, but he’s got a white streak in his hair that’s rather eye-catching.

“Jay, I swear you always act like this whenever anyone hits on you.” The woman, Arty, slaps him hard on the shoulder. She catches Dick’s amused eyes. “Don’t let the blush fool you. He’s had his eye on you since we first walked in.”

Jay groans and gives Arty a good-natured shove. “Shut it.”

Dick laughs because this is just too much fun. “If it’s any consolation, I have too.” He takes another swig of beer and holds out his hand. “I’m Dick.”

The man accepts it and grips it firmly. “Jason, but I go by Jay more often than not.”

Dick reaches across Jason to shake Arty’s hand too. She also has a very firm grip. “Artemis. Only yahoos like Jay get away with Arty.”

“Noted. So, what brings you two into town?” Dick settles in for some small talk. He’s got the time but maybe if he plays his cards right, he won’t be crashing into an empty bed tonight. It’s rare that someone gets him this interested this fast, but hopefully Jason won’t be like the others.

He has a tendency to be attracted to the wrong type, usually with questionable appreciation for the law. Wally and Tim both joke about his poor taste, but Dick only has to remind them that they’re both single and to shut up, that at least he gets laid on occasion. Stephanie doesn’t run a brothel, no sirree, but she doesn’t care (much) what her employees do in their off time.

“Like I said, we’re just passin’ through,” Jason replies easily as he sips at his beer. “Wanna try and get to Colorado Springs before the end of the month. Heard tell there’s gonna be some hirin’ down there for some merchant trains and we could use the work.”

Before Dick can probe further, there’s a commotion over by the main entrance. Shouts ring out and Stephanie reaches under the bar for her shotgun.

“You assholes take it outside!” she shrieks loudly and pumps the shotgun for emphasis. “Now, before I blow someone’s hand off!”

Dick doesn’t even realize he’s stood and sits back down, but as he does, he catches sight of Jason lowering his jacket back over the gun on his belt. The stock on the revolver is inlaid with pearl. That’s an unusual sight and one that doesn’t exactly fit with the poor cowboy image the man is trying to portray.

Something isn’t right here.

He starts talking with Jason and Artemis again, casually flirting and enjoying the crap out of the blushes he gets from the other man. Soon enough, his hour is up and it’s time to get ready for his next show. As he stands, Dick runs a gloved hand over Jason’s lightly stubbled cheek. “Keep your eyes on me,” he whispers and leans in to plant a kiss where his hand just was. Jason looks startled, his deep blue eyes wide as he blushes again.

Artemis laughs raucously as Dick walks away, making sure to put an extra sway in his step.

Jason is seriously cute and Dick really wants to find out how far down his neck the man’s blush goes, but he’s still bothered by the sense that something is off about him. He’s halfway through the next set when he figures it out. Only years of performing keep him upright and in character.

The man sitting at the bar is the Red Hood.

Bruce had shown him the new wanted posters that arrived with this morning’s post. The sketch doesn’t do the man justice at all, especially since he always wears a red bandana over the lower half of his face and the brim of his black cowboy hat pulled low, but the sketch did mention his deep blue eyes.

Some additional information about him was passed along only to law enforcement, which Bruce shared with him as well. Like the pearl gripped revolver and the fact that his accomplice is suspected to be a woman. Dick remembers the poster for Artemis being even more vague as she wears a full wrap of faded red around her face and head, leaving only her eyes bare, probably to conceal her feminine features and that massive amount of red hair.

The pair are wanted in conjunction with over a dozen robberies in the last year. Almost no one is ever seriously hurt but one man was killed when he tried chasing after them. He’d been shot in the shoulder and the impact sent him flying off his horse where he then landed wrong and broke his neck. Accidental to be sure, but murder is murder.

Dick wants to groan in frustration as he kicks up his legs and dances around the stage. Why does this always happen to him? It’s like he’s one of those magnets that attracts trouble rather than iron shavings.

But he remembers Jason’s blush as he flirted with him and how sweet he is, even while telling Artemis off for ordering a third beer. This can’t be the same person that has a $500 reward for his capture.

Additional verification needs to be done first. After all, the sketches for the Red Hood Bandits are iffy at best.

It doesn’t take long for Dick to rejoin Jason and Artemis after his last performance. Stephanie drops off another beer for him, which he downs quickly. “Care to take a walk, Jay?” he asks with a wink. “I could use some fresh air.”

Artemis all but pushes Jason off his barstool. “You do too. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Jason curses and mutters something that Dick doesn’t quite catch, but has his companion laughing uproariously as she slaps his hat on his head and shoves him towards the door.

Outside, the night air is cool against Dick’s flushed skin and he welcomes the change in temperature as he and Jason stroll down the wooden sidewalk. Jason’s heavy boots jingle slightly as they walk from his spurs. He awkwardly holds out his arm for Dick, who can’t help but laugh lightly at him. “I am a guy, you know. I just wear women’s clothing because it’s fun.”

“Well, my ma beat it inta me ta always offer my arm to a lady and since the one I travel with never wears a skirt…” Jason’s lips quirk in amusement.

“I accept then,” Dick replies and takes his arm. The man is taller than him but not by much. Warm too, but in a good way.

They stroll for a little ways before Jason speaks up again. “Ya know, wanderin’ off with strange men may not be the smartest thing for someone like you ta be doin’.”

Dick waves off the warning. “Thanks, but I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”

“That so?” In the faint light from the moon, Dick catches a glint in Jason’s eyes.

Challenge accepted.

Before Jason can react, Dick has him firmly pressed against a wall, out of sight of the street and one of his secreted knives pressed lightly against his throat. “I grew up in a circus,” he breathes into the other man’s throat. “Learned a few other things besides how to put on makeup, kick up my heels, and look fabulous in a dress.”

“I see that,” Jason replies carefully, not moving in the slightest against Dick’s body, which he thinks is a crying shame. “So what now? You gonna rob me?”

Dicks smiles into the warm skin and presses his lips firmly against Jason’s fluttering pulse. “I can think of one thing I want to steal from you.”

“What’s that?”

“This.” Dick slides the knife back into his skirt and presses even more against Jason, capturing his lips in a heated kiss. The man gasps into it, startled, but then lets out one of the sweetest moans he has ever had the privilege to hear.

Oh, good lord. If Jason is the Red Hood, boy is Dick ever screwed.

#chibinightowl writes #Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #JayDick #Wild West AU

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