#Tis I your local Havers lunatic

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Okay so I just noticed something and I'm going feral, feral I tell you.

This is going to be a really, really long one with a lot of picures and I'm honestly not sure if I saw something completely obvious that everybody immediately got whilst watching^^° or if I found something here.

Nonetheless strap in in this essay I will...

So in Cap's flashback he enters the room and looks around clearly looking for someone and when he spots Havers he gets this relieved, smitten "omg I found you/you're here and alive" expression in His face

And Havers who spots him out of the corner of his eyes gets all wide eyed

and turns himself towards Cap with this tiny little smile and he looks so fond at him and also as if he's internally screaming (also in an "omg you made it I'm seeing you again" way)

And then Cap walks in his direction but then bumps into Cartwright and they start talking and Cap who seems to be on good terms with him smiles back at Cartwright and seems super happy and giddy (because Havers is alive and in the same room and they will reconnect in a few moments)

And then Havers watches them like this

and starts to turn back towards his colleagues with this almost jealous/shooting daggers look.

and then he makes the face on the left and looks so spaced out, a bit resigned, disappointed and hurt. And then he does his thing again like in Redding Weddy where he presses his lips together and forces a smile (this time tiny smile) with a tense jaw to regain control over his emotions, to put on a stiff upper lip. But look at his eyes the man is clearly hurt (heartbroken) about something

and at first I did not really get what was going on but then it clicked.

You ever had that moment when someone is waving to you that you don't know and you're like do they mean me? and you wave back but then realise they were waving at the person behind you? It's like that just with "in front" instead of "behind"

Because when Cap's eyes fall on Havers look who's standing in front of him in the Captain's line of sight

Yep it's fucking Cartwright. And when Havers has his little "I turn to you moment" Cartwright is also walking towards Cap in the frame

So from the camera angle and they way it's shot we see them bump into each other but do not see if Havers actually saw it ; what he definetely sees is them turning towards each other, though.

and in the next frame Cartwright takes a step to his right and we see them standing like this

So it's a line and Havers is basically looking at Cartwright's back so when Cap lifts his finger to indicate that he wants to go over to Havers, it's probably not visible to Havers because

first of all we can't see Havers anymore in the background when the camera focuses on Cartwrights face. And secondly from the shot of Cap pointing it becomes apparent that Cartwright's body is blocking Havers's view of that.

So but what am I actually getting at?

Well...

OMG I think Havers thought for a bit that Cap didn't want to reconnect with him (or wasn't there because of him) but with (because of) Cartwright!!

Because what he's seeing is Cap entering the room looking for someone, their eyes meet Cap takes a few steps staring happily in his direction. But then some guy walks to Cap in front of Havers who he realises is in Cap's direct line of sight. Then the two of them start talking and Cap looks so happy whilst talking to this other guy! And then we see Havers's heart break! And how he struggles to collect himself and hide that!

He probably thought Captain moved on, that he no longer has the same feelings for Havers, that maybe he has affections for Cartwright. Or at least that Cap prefers o talk to Cartwright instead of him.

So and then when Havers runs to his aid he turns to the next person, who happens to be Cartwright and yells "Well fetch a medic!", he sounds soooo angry. I can think of a few explanations here tbh from "why aren't you helping him?" to "what have you done to him?!" to "oh it's you I can't stand you since 5 minutes ago get out off my sight!" maybe it's neither, maybe its all of them or a mixture. Who knows.

However we're not finished here because guess what

When Cap says "I'm sorry I had to find you" this is Havers reaction.

He looks legitimately surprised in an "who, me?" kind of way (and /or his "omg is this happening now" kind of way just like back in RW) but also worried about Cap and his Adam's apple does the bobbing thing it does when he's nervous or emotional.

But then Cap's words seem to sink in and he's now clearly emotional. Not just worried but also look how softly he gazes as Cap and tries o smile at him whilst clearly being distraught.

And then the realisation hits him about what exactly is happening right now. That Cap indeed was there because of him and that he is now dying in front of him and that there's probably not much time left. And that's even before Cap tries to confess his feelings and Havers confirms that he knows about them.

And it's all just so absolutely fucking heartbreaking.

PS:

Just realised that this would also explain why Havers didn't walk over to Cap and just interrupted the conversation with Cartwright or joined in. Because he thought that Cap was there because of/ wanted to talk to Cartwright and Anthony was heartbroken about that ;_;

Btw also a little thing that's interesting to note in this regard: before the older soldier walks over to C&C we can see Havers in the background just constantly looking at them from the distance. Maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's yearning, maybe it's both.

Yeah so that's that. Safe to say I as always have a lot of opinions and emotions about these two. Curious to know what you guys thought was going on there with Havers .

#i hope i phrased it somewhat understandably #am i captain obvious? #who cares i love making these kinds of posts #tis i your local havers lunatic #lieutenant havers #major anthony havers #bbc ghosts the captain #my soft boy and my creaky boy #caphavers #capvers #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #bbc ghosts series 5 spoilers #redlever #bbc ghosts meta #i love him so much your honour #and i love him so much as well your honour #i love them

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

This will haunt me for a long, long time. His face as his world falls apart and the way he has to keep it together because they are in danger

#screaming more screaming sobbing bawling throwing up #lieutenant havers #lieutenant anthony havers #formerly known as #lieutenant william havers #my soft boy #tis i your local havers lunatic #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #bbc ghosts series 5 spoilers #redlever

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

When you want to tell a man that you love him but you're both soldiers surrounded by other soldiers, it's 1945 and he's dying in front of you

so instead you tenderly say his first name and look at him like this

so that in a sea of unfriendly faces the last face he will ever see is the friendly face of the person he loves.

#i am so sorry that's three in a row #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #my soft boy and my creaky boy #i made myself cry #redlever #caphavers #bbc ghosts series 5 spoilers #capvers #bbc ghosts the captain #lieutenant havers #major anthony havers #tis i your local havers lunatic #brb sobbing #them #i love them your honour #i love him your honour #my soft boy #my creaky boy

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

okay just because I'm losing my mind over Major Anthony Havers and the very horrible, bad, not good day:

I'm still kinda glad that he was there witnessing Cap's death. And not solely for the Captain's sake.

I mean Cap was not really subtle about his affection and yet when he said "I say, Havers!" my boy almost gave himself whiplash (I made a long as post about what follows before but let me just summarise). Havers looks at him expectantly and when Cap doesn't bring up the courage to tell him how he feels (two times in a row at that), Havers looks dissapointed and crestfallen but manages to keep a stiff upper lip.

In short he suspected and reciprocated but from what we have seen he never really got a real confirmation about Cap's feelings for him.

(Tbh I still think he would have been so so tempted to stay if Cap had said anything)

So now skip forward a few years. The war is over, Havers got wounded at the front line, he has to attend an event and then he sees Cap.

The man who corrected his "I shall miss you, Havers" , who tried to confess something but didn't, Mr. 17 points on the agenda, his stickler for rules and authorities Captain broke into an event, stole some medals and is clearly there looking for and trying to talk to Havers. Years after they have last seen each other.

And I think in that moment Havers got the confirmation he wanted. So when Cap tries to finally vocalise it, he stops him because 1.) The man should really not waste breath right now 2.) They are in danger because of where they are and whom they surrounded by and 3.) He doesn't need to say it. Havers finally knows what he kinda knew all along. What Cap just did to get to him speaks louder than words and it's finally a clear confirmation on how Cap feels.

And then to go even further Cap adresses him by his first name. Not his rank, or his last name. He adresses the man behind the uniform as an equal. And Havers does the same. No Captain, no Sir, just the name of the man he loves who is now dying in front of him.

And it's heartwrenching and horrible to think about but we all said that at least Cap died knowing that he was loved.

And that's why I'm a bit glad about it happening that way because now Havers has some closure as well. He can now live his life after all the horrors at least knowing that yes he was loved through all of it.

#Im sorry I say gnawing on drywall #I have so many emotions about them #Though me going Mad about Havers really isn't something new #My soft boy and my creaky boy #Caphavers #Capvers #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #BBC Ghosts series 5 spoilers #Redlever #Tis I your local Havers lunatic #<-bringing this Tag Back because it's more relevant than ever #Sorry If the Post isn't coherent or Well explained

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

i have talked so much and often about Havers kindness towards Cap

Without ever realising before just how much Havers needed someone kindness in his life, in this environment, as well and that was the inital draw towards Cap.

I am sobbing

They both needed/wanted kindness

I am unwell.

Aka tell me you just read the interview with Peter, without telling me you just read the interview with Peter

#Screaming crying throwing up #My soft boy and my creaky boy #BBC Ghosts #Caphavers #Capvers #Peter Sandys clarke #Peter Interview Peter Interview finally a Peter Interview #And it's such a great one! #Tis I your local Havers lunatic #I Love them your honour #BBC ghosts the Captain #Lieutenant Anthony P. Havers #Lieutenant Havers #major anthony havers #Also the questions were great

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Parallels

I love his portrayal so much

#bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #redlever #my soft boy #bbc ghosts series 5 spoilers #tis i your local Havers lunatic #lieutenant havers #major anthony havers #peter sandys clarke #carpe diem #redding weddy

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Havers's loneliest day

Such a lonely day Shouldn't exist It's a day that I′ll never miss

Such a lonely day And it′s mine The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go I wanna go with you And if you die I wanna die with you

Take your hand and walk away

Such a lonely day And it's mine

It′s a day that I'm glad I survived

#I am having angsty and sad (cap)havers feels yet again #my soft boy #my soft boy and my creaky boy #caphavers #capvers #major anthony havers #lieutenant havers #major anthony P. Havers #system of a down lonely day #Tis I your local Havers lunatic #bbc ghosts

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

20th May 1940

Dear Diary,

today was our match against the RAF Dunham Marsh Eleven

When it was my innings I opened my shoulders up, like I always do, and made a quip to their keeper about how the motion almost mimics one of their propellers. It made my the Captain laugh a lot. I do love the sound of his laughter

I caught him looking at my hair again (I forgot my cap on purpose but shhhh) and later I took my jumper off and found him staring at my forearms. He was a bit red in the face but that was probably from the sun, I don't know

I played as best as I could, I do love playing cricket so much, and was not out for 88 innings. The Captain looked very proud and a bit flustered but once again that might have been from the weather. However he is so dreamy I can't even!

Today was a great match and a great day and I hope I can make Cap laugh again soon.

Your

Anthony

Diary entry of Lieutenant Havers (written in glitter pen whilst kicking his feet)

#I don't even know okay #Just found it funny how we're all Like Cap Has a Teenage Girl crush and writes about Havers in glitter pen #So I thought hey let's Turn that around #And of course this is in Teenage Girl lingo #BBC Ghosts spoilers #BBC Ghosts series 5 spoilers #redlever #my soft boy and my creaky boy #caphavers #Capvers #Lieutenant Anthony P. Havers #Tis I your local Havers lunatic #I swear these two have altered my brain chemistry

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

to think all this time we were like

Oh Havers is the one in control of situations, can hide his emotions well, is more levelheaded etc.

just to find out that he also fell for the Captain within two months and so hard that he carried these feelings for 5 long years without contact*

They were both lovesick idiots and I love it

*to be fair though the man was fighting on the front lines and saw horrors no one should ever see. It makes sense that he maybe revisited his memories of Button House and Cap over and over again as a little safe space in his brain which probably kept these feelings alive. (If my interpretation of the scene with Cartwright is correct he even hoped it would be the same with Cap and for a short while was heartbroken in an "of course not" kind of way until he learned Cap still felt the same 💔)

#Tis I your local Havers lunatic #button house archives #bbc ghosts spoilers #BBC Ghosts series 5 spoilers #Redlever #My soft boy and my creaky boy #Caphavers #Capvers #bbc ghosts the captain #Lieutenant Havers #Lieutenant Anthony P. Havers #Major Anthony P. Havers

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Okay so this scene right here kills me every fucking time and reduces me to tears, because of this amazing, expressive portrayal.

I shall miss you Havers

look at his little face in those two pictures. The surprise, the hope, the anticipation of what words could follow. Do you know that feeling of an adrenaline surge, that you sometimes get when your crush says something that could allude to them liking you/liking you back? that same feeling you get on a rollercoaster before a drop or when you fall from your bike and fly for a few split seconds when your insides feel all funny? for me it looks like he just had this shot of adrenaline, his heart skipped a beat, he is nervous (he does that thing with the trembling Adam's apple) and after skipping a beat his heart probably races. He looks like he's having a "oh my god, is it happening?" moment.

By which of course I mean we shall miss you

right here you can actually see in his eyes the realisation that it is not happening. Compared to the pictures above something in his demeanour, the tension , something in him seems to slump as the words sink in.

And then you have the exact moment where his heart breaks a bit. and you can see the sadness and the crushed hope and the way he presses his lips together to keep in control of his emotional response

The way he looks directly at the Captain here so full of I dunno yearning? Pining? Love? Whilst he looks so sad f my life

and then he remembers that the polite thing is to smile and can you see all the tension in his jaw and how he presses his lips together, looks like he is fighting back his emotions, I mean look at him how forced his smile is and how his eyes look like he's almost teary eyed? He looks like he is almost about to cry and I can't

and then he has collected himself again and looks directly at the captain and the amount of emotions in his face! yet again the sadness, the yearning, the hurt ugh

This man had feelings for the Captain and no one can convince me otherwise!

#nobody touch me #one day i will stop crying about this soft boy #not today though #my soft boy and my creaky boy #caphavers #lieutenant havers #tis i your local havers lunatic #bbc ghosts #yes it's me crying again #capvers #i love him your honour #the captain #peter sandys clarke #how fucking talented is this man like seriously

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

How Havers looked at him when the Captain wasn't looking

Plus Bonus Angst:

#he is so cute #my soft boy #my soft boy and my creaky boy #caphavers #capvers #also damn i hope button house was cold because that uniform looks toasty and not the good kind #tis i your local havers lunatic #and here we all thought i would run out of posts to make about them and we all were wrong #aww his little face #he is so nervous in the last one bless his little heart #bbc ghosts #just gave myself another post idea whoopsie

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

.🥰🥰

#Look at how he smiled at his commanding officer #No feelings for him my arse #Look at his Smile #i love him so much #my soft boy #bbc ghosts #Lieutenant Havers #Tis I your local Havers lunatic #Caphavers

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

In case any of you ever wondered about how much screentime Lt. Havers has in Ghosts:

It's 3 minutes and 34 seconds

you're welcome.

#bbc ghosts #lieutenant havers #peter sandys clarke #tis i your local havers lunatic #my soft boy #i counted every time we see him #and the whole scene of their first conversation where the camera switches between them #what is wrong with me #redding weddy #i can't sleep #caphavers #3 minutes and 34 seconds and i almost never shipped something as much #3 minutes and 34 second are also enough to steal a piece of my heart apparently #if you read these tags yeah we are both questioning my sanity

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one

that got away

Caphavers reincarnation AU: The one that got away (song by Katie Perry)

#yes I am using this song again #also did I buy an episode of a show that I don't watch or care about just for modern havers?...maaaybeeee #adam kenyon the thick of it #doctor from the royals #dr clive ericson playing house #my soft boy and my creaky boy #caphavers #capvers #caphavers au #bbc ghosts #otp #tis i your local havers lunatic #ben willbond #peter sandys clarke #i will go down with this ship

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Declaration of a certain kind of fondness

#bbc ghosts #Because in my head this is obviously how Havers would have looked at him before they would have kissed #My soft boy and my creaky boy #Caphavers #Capvers #The captain #Lieutenant Havers #Tis I your local Havers lunatic #I still Put my Feelings into random edits #I love this ship so much

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Headcanons for Alison seeing a photo of cap and Havers in a local war museum? What does the ww2 expert working in the museum say about the photo?

Okay lets's do this. (Things in brackets is me babbling or exploring alternate headcanons)

Also please be aware that I'm not a WW2 expert and that the stuff I actually know is almost completely German-centric. PS I actually didn't need this disclaimer, but leaving it here nonetheless 😅

(Assuming it's just a picture of those two standing all soldier-ish together in front of Button house like in an official photo and not like a snapshot)

-of course she immediatly recognises the Captain and stops looking for the description of the picture in order to learn his name.

-the description says something really vague like Button house unit captain and second in command

-and at first she is like damn your eyes

-than she remembers that he has told her about his second in command Havers

-so she takes a good look at him probably thinking something like "He looks nice" because the way Cap talked about him has her suspecting things

-so the expert notices her interest and just opens conversation and Alison is like: what can you tell me about them?

-and the expert tells something about the make up of the unit, when they were stationed, what they were working on

-and then he tells her that he had the privilege to interview some of the former unit members decades later.

-He tells her about the Button house 11 and that both Captain and Lieutenant were passionate cricket players.

-he tells her that the Captain was regarded as quite the character; amused she nods in agreement

-then he tells her that there were actually rumours among the soldiers, because those two seemed especially fond of each other, arguably too fond for mere camaraderie. However one of the unit members has told him that in retrospect he thinks that the two of them might have been an item from the way he caught them looking at each other. Though he doesn't think that something could have happened between them without the soldiers noticing but in retrospect he thinks they were "gay for each other"

(Then the expert tells her that there was another rumour about the unit, about a German spy that had infiltrated it and had never been discovered. And that there had been some shady and irregular business regarding a transfer so that it could have been possible that the Lieutenant had been said spy)

-Alison decides to not tell the Captain what she has learned but she sneakily takes a picture and at home shows him and asks him if he wants it developed and framed. He declines but now and then asks her if he can look at it for a bit. She always obliges and never comments on it and after a few times he stops making up reasons and simply asks

#Bbc ghosts ask #Caphavers #Capvers #My soft boy and my creaky boy #bbc ghosts #Alison cooper #Someone made a good post on how the Transfer was Not normal and I have simply accepted that fact #I couldn't tell you why but it is known #Tis I your local Havers lunatic