#SyaoRereads

[syao]

#SyaoRereads: The Sparrow by Goldberry

It’s #NejiTenMonth this July, so in the spirit of celebration for my favorite Naruto OTP (next to the unfathomable ShinoHina, haha!), I’m re-reading and reviewing NejiTen stories that really, really left an impression on me.

Today, I’m starting with who I personally feel is the best NejiTen author in the fandom.  Goldberry crafts such excellent, in-character stories. (I reckon she understands Neji and Tenten far better than Kishimoto himself does!)

Among her library of great reads, I consider The Sparrow as my favorite. I don’t usually like angst, but I fell in love at first read with this fanfic.

For those who haven’t read it yet, spoilers abound. Also, please go and read the story right now. It’s goddamn beautiful.

Birds fly and die and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Except for Tenten, she tries.

This 10-minute read packs a lot of powerful symbolism and emotion, beginning from 7-year-old Tenten’s incredible compassion and selflessness shown in her treatment of the titular sparrow. The simple, age-appropriate explanation of young Tenten’s concern for the animal and its ties to Hyuuga Neji built the foundation of her protectiveness and affection for him later on in the story.

It was Neji who caught her, a flash of confusion crossing his face before his features resumed their normal flat expression. She knew he couldn't understand how she had failed to save herself, how she could have miscalculated so badly as to fall prey to such a simple mistake...

I loved this catch scene. It was described so vividly that I could visualize the whole scene as an anime filler sequence. 

One thing I always struggle with in writing NejiTen stories is how to show restraint in handling Neji, particularly his interactions with Tenten. Canonically, he doesn’t speak much or demonstrates emotions. He’s no Rock Lee who readily jumped into the arena during the Chuunin Exams arc out of worry for embattled Tenten. This makes it hard to move the plot along.

But in this story, Goldberry capitalizes on this. The story is mostly told from Tenten’s POV, and her seeing a change in expression in usually poker-faced Neji makes the scene more impactful. Yet the same POV shields us from what Neji was thinking at that time, tapping on good ole shoujo tropes of denial and downplaying of romantic tension.

"They're going to find out eventually, Tenten. It will only make it harder...in the end...if you keep protecting them."

She smiled a little, though the look was grim. "They have enough burdens to bear. This one is mine alone."

Maito Gai is frequently reduced in fanfics as a lovable buffoon, so I like stories that tackle his other persona-- the one that stopped Neji from the final move that would have seriously harmed Hinata in the Chuunin match and would have made his student regret it forever.

In here, Gai shares the burden of concealing Tenten’s “last, final sparrow”, adding to the element of dread that we’ve come to expect from Your Lie in April.

The four of them were only halfway there when it hit her, a pain so intense she saw white stars and dropped to the ground, struggling to breathe, literally gasping for air. Neji and Lee were beside her instantly and she could hear their voices but it was beyond her to answer when she wasn't sure she could take another breath. There were some long, horrible minutes while her teammates could only watch their capable, strong kunoichi writhe on the ground, tears on her face from the supreme effort it took to force her failing lungs to work.

This passage played out exactly as the anime would have in my mind. The contrast between the “capable, strong kunoichi” and the writhing woman on the ground was such a painful contrast, and at the same time, it established how well-regarded and respected Tenten is in her team. THIS is the dynamic that differentiates their team from the rest of Konoha 11, where women are regarded as either damsels-in-distress or annoying nags.

Neji and Tenten’s conversation prior to the climax is the part that most moved me in this story, ESPECIALLY this segment:

"I heard you say, 'I'm dying'." His white eyes flashed at her and she could see the hopeless rage in his face. "Why didn't you tell me, Tenten? About the birds, about your sickness... I would have.. I could..."

"You could what, Neji?" she asked, tiredly. "Fight death?"

She had meant it to be rhetorical, but Neji's gaze met hers firmly. "I would try."

HE WOULD FIGHT DEATH FOR HER SAKE OMFGBBQ!!!!12340J!!!

/clears throat Sorry about that. So where was I? Ah yes, the moment that the Neji wall breaks. His “hopeless rage”, the lines he couldn’t finish, and the “I would try” line. It was perfectly Neji through and through. And once again, I have to laud the writer for the impressive restraint. No overt “I love yous” were exchanged here, but, dammit, if a guy is ready to fight death for you, you better believe it’s one true love, hun.

The operation scene puts you amidst the scary, tense-filled moments. There’s little dialogue, yet it feels like you’re hearing and feeling all the character’s sentiments, thanks to the well-written exposition.

He was almost...frantic, and the very idea of that made her start. Neji was never anything but cool, collected, icily arrogant in the face of danger. Even angry, he always remained in control. To hear him now, it was almost as if...as if he were afraid.

Afraid of losing her.

Afraid of losing a teammate, her mind corrected, but even she didn't quite believe that.

Neji’s crumbling facade. Tenten’s blossoming epiphany on how important she might just be to him. 

"She owes you a great deal. Without your eyesight, we might never have-"

"She owes me nothing, Hokage-sama," Neji said quietly, still watching her. "It was I who was repaying a debt."

What a great anti-climactic moment this is, Neji finally being given the opportunity to express how he feels for Tenten-- including acknowledging her kindness and sacrifices for him. As a reader, I felt Tenten was vindicated for having to go through all of this. Plus, what a very Neji thing for Neji to say, no?

So in conclusion...

Imagery and symbolism-wise, The Sparrow knocks it out of the park. The “less is more” approach to dialogues also helped make it feel more IC and believable, especially Neji. The transitions were also great and didn’t feel abrupt at all.

All in all, it’s a story worth reading and re-reading if you ever need a NejiTen fix.

Next week: I’m reviewing Neji Gaiden by Levi Ackerman. Multi-chapter. Dammit, bid me good luck with this one.

#neji x tenten #nejiten #fanfic #SyaoRereads