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crimsonfox19 · 6 years

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January 1, 2018

I can’t believe it’s become the year 2018 already. While I wouldn’t say 2017 was a great year, a lot has happened and it felt as if it all went so quickly. Last year I worked at an electronics store called Best Buy up until May, and with that took some leaps of faith that even though they didn’t all pan out, I’m proud of myself for taking. In April, I turned 22 years old. In May I had my last day of work at Best Buy and then I got to go to my niece’s first communion. I, personally, am not Catholic, but it was still a nice moment spent with family. That has currently been the last time I’ve seen them. End of May I took my dad out to lunch for his birthday and he dropped me off at an Amtrak train station so I could see my best friend, Aubii, that I hadn’t seen in two years. That was an amazing week full of difficulties, and craziness combined. I got to attend her preschool class with her children and spent a day talking about Japan to them and running around and seeing my best friend in a professional environment. I also got to meet her fiancé, who is probably one of the sweetest and funniest human beings on this planet. I am so excited for them and the future they hold together. I got back to California early June and was traveling more. I ended up in Southern California to see my aunt and some friends before taking two separate trips to San Francisco to work on getting my student visa for Japan. Oh right, I forgot to mention. I got accepted to a language school in Tokyo, Japan, which is still crazy to think about. The first trip to San Francisco almost ended in a terrible car crash that could have had both my father and me fatally wounded, or maybe even killed, but by some miracle avoided us completely. Thankfully, everyone ended up fine in the situation. It truly was a blessing in disguise. The second trip to San Francisco was a Hell of a lot less entertaining, but now San Francisco holds a more sour taste in my mouth. I’m not eager to go there again anytime soon, but on the second trip I also got to see one of my other best friends @phantomandfoxflyer. I miss this girl so much, and everyday I wish us becoming roommates had worked out for the better, and yet, I feel like this all happened for a reason. I truly hope 2018 turns out amazing for her; she deserves it.

On June 28, 2017 I flew out of LAX and moved to Tokyo, Japan. I had a five hour layover in Seoul, South Korea. I won’t sugar coat it. My first month and a half of living in Japan was horrid. I absolutely resented myself for moving over here, and while I do believe it was a mix of culture shock and general frustration, I have become much more acclimated and I no longer avidly hate Japan. I am so, so, so grateful to have had the chance to move to Japan and live here, and although I plan to move back to the States this coming July, I will always look back on this time of my life fondly and with a more worldly perspective. I can hold at least a general conversation in Japanese now. I celebrated the day of the ocean 海の日 with two of my friends in Odaiba (お台場)! It was absolutely beautiful. I have gone to so many cafes, which I adore (and I certainly haven’t been to enough yet). I’ve gotten to eat decently authentic Japanese, Korean, and Chinese food and have made friends with Taiwanese, Swedish, Korean, and Chinese people. I have gotten to experience a butler cafe here in Japan called Swallowtail (執事喫茶) Butler’s Cafe. It was absolutely amazing, and while definitely not for everybody I truly enjoyed my time there and I cannot wait to go back. I also got to partake in a girl’s party (女子会) with some of my housemates which was surprisingly fun! I have visited Akihabara and eaten amazing fish and have fallen in love with katsudon (カツ丼), omurice (オムライス), and of course Japanese tonkotsu ramen (豚骨ラーメン). I got to see the Tokyo ballet perform Cinderella at the Opera Palace at the New National Theatre here which was incredible! I’ve grilled a handful of salmons with my friends for dinners, including Christmas dinner and enjoyed a beautiful buche de noel Christmas cake with my dear friend I’ve made from here. And to welcome in this New Year I got to spend it with them as well! We had a fish dinner, visited Meiji-jingu (明治時代), went to Golden Gai and met an amazing bartender who was hilarious and we spoke Japanese! Then we went to see another shrine nearby, before heading to Oji station (王子駅) and seeing the fox parade and going to pray at the local shrine around midnight. It was a wonderful way to welcome in the new year, and I’m truly keeping hopeful for it.

Although I’ve had some amazing times in Japan I can admit this is the most depressed I can remember being in my life. I have felt wholly unproductive in my day-to-day life and I haven’t really cared much about what has happened around me. I have recently realized that a lot of this year has helped me process and realize who I really am as a person. If I had been able to continue university I would have graduated with my Bachelor’s this year, but instead I’m learning, living, and breathing an entirely new culture. I’ve learned that Japan isn’t the place I had hoped to call home before coming here. I have learned what I need in an environment and in a mindset of people after moving to Japan. I have realized that I am much more of a feminist than I ever thought I was before. I have learned that through this all, I am me. And that’s okay. I have some plans for my future again, and we’ll see where it takes me. For now, I’m taking it slow. If I can make it happen I’m hoping to move up to Washington state to work and start taking some community college courses to finish up my Associates degree. I’m going to continue learning Japanese and will hopefully be able to use it in whatever kind of workplace I get situated in. I still adore Linguistics and I hope to get a Bachelor’s in that if possible, otherwise I might try to get a Bachelor’s in English, as I’ve come to learn how much I value reading, literature, essays, and language as a whole. I’d like to attend bartending school when I’m back in the States and start working as a said bartender. Or maybe I’ll get work as a funeral home director or secretary. All three sound interesting and possible to me.

So what does that make 2018 mean for me?

I plan to write something, anything every single day. I don’t care if it’s a journal-like entry such as this, working on something toward the couple of books that I’m currently working on, a poem, a RP, a drabble, an essay, literally anything! I just want to sit down everyday and write something. Short or long, just something with some sort of reflection or importance to me.

I plan to start loving myself more. I don’t want to care how I look as much compared to other people and enjoy how I look for me. I want to start eating more vegetables, although that might come more to fruition once I’m back in the states and they’re cheaper than here in Japan. I want not feel as guilty for the days I do lock myself in my room and see no one, but the convenient store employee, or a McDonald’s worker, and I just binge watch movies/YouTube videos, etc. It’s okay. But at the same time, I’m going to try not to do that as much as I have this last year.

I plan to take my mental health more seriously. I won’t say anything about my physical health, because I’m going to have to really beat that into my head and where I’m at right now, I don’t know if I have the gumption for that. But, I do plan to be more open and okay with what I feel emotionally and what’s going on with me mentally. If I’m upset it’s okay, if I’m happy and everyone thinks that’s stupid for whatever reason, that’s okay. It’s okay to be me, and that’s something I want to work on the most.

I plan to take what I like to do creatively more seriously. I still want it to be a hobby, but I want to start actively working on my hobbies. I want to get more into photography whether it’s with my DSLR, learning how to edit photos better, or with my smartphone and the various apps I have, to have more control over the pictures I can take. Whether it be learning how to sculpt, or starting to take piano seriously again. All of this I want to be actively working with again.

This should be enough for me to keep my mind on and to actively work towards, so we’ll see how it ends up in the end. I am not expecting people to really read this, as this is more for myself and my own personal reflection. There is more to be said, and a lot I have missed, but these are the highlights that have come to my mind immediately.

Here’s to a wonderful 2018!

#My own personal writing #2018 #The new year #new years resolution #reflection #personal #crimson thoughts

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blogwritetheworld · 7 years

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Featured Writer: Molly Bovett

Molly Bovett has found a way to incorporate her love of writing into all facets of her life. Molly, who has a passion for learning new languages, has banded together with a group of fellow “polyglots” to start an online linguistics magazine. And when she’s not preparing for the magazine’s upcoming launch, she’s working on an urban fantasy novel. But, above all, Molly hopes her writing will inspire others to join her in enacting social change. Read on to learn how Molly plans to improve the world around her through writing.

You're in the process of starting an online language magazine for fellow "linguistics enthusiasts”. Can you tell us more about how and why you decided to start this project?

The project was started by someone who wrote a blog post about a month ago inviting writers and language-lovers to work together on an online magazine on the topic of global communication and the importance of foreign languages. I got involved to produce poetry, photography, and articles for the magazine. And while the project has only launched this final week of October, the entire team is excited to work on this publication together. Our goal is to offer information and to show people the importance of cultures and languages different than your own. The first edition should be out sometime in the New Year.

What advice do you have for someone who is interested in starting their own online magazine or blog?

First of all, make sure that it’s definitely something you have time and patience for before you begin work on it. I’m already blown back by how much hard work and time we’ve all set aside for this! You might be in charge of a team of editors, writers, artists and designers so you'll need to exercise your leadership skills to make sure everyone is on task. Secondly, advertise as best you can. The blogger leading my project has a huge following, so finding people who are interested in the project was not difficult. One of the things we’re going to focus on over the course of the next few weeks is setting up social media pages to advertise the magazine.

You mention in your bio that you're eager to use your writing as a tool for social change. In what ways? Why is this important to you?

The writer I always give as an example when asked about writing for change is the marvelously talented Lin-Manuel Miranda—writer of the Broadway hit, Hamilton. The song ‘Almost Like Praying’ has drawn attention to the crisis in Puerto Rico and given a voice to people on the island who feel unheard by the world. When I say writing for social change and spreading a message, this is what I mean. Songs and poetry can connect to people in ways no other media can, and the right words in the right order can work miracles.

Encouraging social change is especially important to me because every day there is a new problem in the world and every day there are people who ignore it—either because they don’t think it affects them or they don’t think they can help. I want to write to show them they’re wrong. I don’t want to be powerless in the face of injustice and if being a skilled writer is my blessing, I will find a way to use it to the best of my ability.

In the "Message From Writer" section of your profile, you have a word count for Blackbird, a novel you're working on. Can you tell us more about this?

Blackbird is an urban fantasy novel I’ve been working on since the start of the summer. To summarize, it’s about a girl raised to be a criminal who, upon realizing the errors of her ways, runs away from home to try and escape her dangerous lifestyle. Unfortunately for all involved, this backfires horribly and she winds up in more trouble than before. Her new problems force her to choose between rejecting her violent ways entirely or embracing them to salvage what little she has to live for.

If you could insert yourself in the world of any fictional novel, which one would it be and why?

I’d insert myself in the world of Welcome To Night Vale. Yes, it’s a podcast, but there is also a published stand-alone novel about it. It’s true that someone mysteriously vanishes or dies every other day, but being bored would be completely impossible. I’d love to be part of the Night Vale community and get involved with the murderous librarians, the giant glow cloud, and the hooded figures in the dog park.

What are three things our readers might not know about living in England?

First, the school holiday system is a pain. I have almost no holiday time whatsoever this year and when I finish school I have a fourteen week summer. Who needs that much holiday time? What am I supposed to do with myself? I’m going to run out of things to do by mid-July. Optimum holiday time is four weeks, but that unfortunately never happens. Secondly, just because England is a comparatively small country, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to get from one place to another. I once read an American crime novel where the protagonist traveled from London to Newcastle in one hour. You drive for an hour in London, and you don’t leave London. The book was rather old (1950s, I think?) and a bit of an extreme example, but still, it takes far longer to get around the country than people seem to think. Finally, the Brits have queuing down to a fine art. If you come to England and you mess up the delicate process of lining up to buy things in the supermarket, someone will make you very aware of it before you even realize you’ve done something wrong. I once crossed through a long queue to get to my bus at the other end of the station and a woman started yelling at me for cutting in line. I wasn’t even getting the same bus as her.

About Molly

My name is Molly Bovett and I come from a small market town in the middle of the English countryside. I'm in my final year of secondary school and recently, writing has turned from a relaxing pastime into a sort of coping mechanism to get me through the exam seasons. Writing—poetry in particular—is something I've always devoted time to. I'm fascinated by how powerful words can be. They help us express our emotions and thoughts in a way that no other method can. I aspire to master the craft of using my poems as catalysts for change. If I could help even one person with my writing, I will have satisfied myself. Beyond poetry and exams, my time is devoted to art, activism, and the study of foreign languages. I love doing watercolor paintings and when I have time, I'd like to produce paintings that are personal to me, such as artwork for the local Pride parades. The languages I currently study are French, German, and my beloved Swedish. All of my passions are presently being combined into one awesome project—I have just started working on a yet-to-be-published online language magazine alongside fellow polyglots and linguistics enthusiasts.

#write the world #amwriting #wtwfeaturedwriter #england #linguistics #hamilton

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mrfancyfoot · 7 years

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Some Assembly Required: It Didn’t Come With Instructions So I Googled and Found the Swedish Version, pt.1

Since I’ve been asked to clarify/explain/spoil “the spirit” companion of Bevin more than a couple times now, I figured that I would make a one stop post for this and other stuff since bits are kind of scattered throughout several chapters now and I can’t blame anyone for needing a refresher. I’ll make two sections: one for where we currently are in SAR and one for where I’ve currently developed (i.e. spoilers and in-depth explanations). To explain the spirit will also need me to explain some of Bevin’s powers and a little more background, so that will also be included in both sections, though primarily the latter. Also added are other fun bits. Spoilers are included, as I’ve mentioned, but they will be in the bottom section for if you don’t want to read them.

I’ll try to update this as the story progresses, but if I fall behind, just let me know.

The Spirit so far:

Bevin officially meets the spirit in Chapter 12. She starts off as the soothing presence that Bevin feels after having one of her “nightmare visions” of the torture she went through in the Red Future.

After her talk with Dorian, who is fleetingly concerned about potential spiritual possession after witnessing it in the Red Future, the spirit makes herself known so that Bevin can throw Dorian off of this line of inquiry. A “that must have only happened in the alternate timeline” kind of excuse.

The spirit explains that she is the one responsible for protecting Bevin from the eruption at the Conclave. She saw Bevin pulled through and decided that an outsider was what Thedas really needed. Specifically, she says: “I was but an ever-weakening spirit, watching our worlds for over two thousand years from inside the Fade. I saw you pulled through that very first rift between the worlds. I believed that an outsider was the exact thing this tumultuous land needed, and used what power I had to protect you.”

So, two thousand year-old (at least!) spirit who was able to watch both worlds from some corner of the Fade.

She goes on to mention that she knows nothing of how Nikki came to be involved or anything about the Conclave.

During talks, the spirit frequently uses terms that Bevin knows to be elven.

She specifically calls her “‘Ma da’isenatha” which translates to “my little dragon.”

The spirit refers to Solas as Bevin’s “hahren” or “mentor” frequently.

Bevin’s Powers:

From the very first chapter, we learn that Bevin has weird powers and brand new facial markings.

Powers = foresight

Markings = blood red sideways tear drop shape angled across either cheek near the outer corners of her eyes that she describes as being about as big as her thumb(nail).

In Chapter Three, Solas deduces that Bevin is passively syphoning in mana from the environment somehow. Her storage limitations and general output are still very low, so any sudden increase in intake (such as magic applied directly to her) creates a surge that bounces right back out (which makes her face itch and sneeze).

To a much slighter degree, all Mages recover mana from the Veil this way, and some can learn in intake excess mana from around them as a very temporary, active skill. Solas and Dorian discuss this briefly during their general party banter in the game.

Dorian shares (also in Chapter 12) that the markings on her face are from syphoning magic. It’s an old Art, the effects of which were known to “make one’s palms itchy.” He has never heard of anyone being able to sustain the magic passively before.

“Passively” here meaning “without trying.” The magic automatically draws in mana from the environment around Bevin.

Bevin eventually deduces that she is also taking in what she calls life energy. This is something that everything living has (people, animals, plants, etc).

She thinks this is driving her innate healing ability and has fears that it might leave her with a form of at least temporary immortality based on her knowledge of fictional lore and mythus.

Bevin’s (Awful) Background:

Chapters Four and Five are where most specifics of Bevin’s past begin appearing.

In ch.01, Bevin mentions that she’s from Michigan.

In ch.04, Bevin visits the Fade for the first time.

She starts off in a memory of her childhood that she recognizes as the precursor to a particularly bad event. When Solas joins her dream, she immediately asks how to stop it and he dispels it, drawing her deeper into the Fade.

Soon, they are attacked by Fearlings that have taken on the forms of various church elders and her father. Her magic, fueled by her anger is able to get rid of them but draws the attention of a Rage demon. Solas kills the demon for her, stating that she is not quite to the strength to be able to take on and defeat such a demon.

In ch.05, Bevin and Nikki are prompted into sharing details of their lives prior to being dropped in Thedas.

Bevin tells the group that she had just finished her university studies for Linguistics and Criminology and was working as an intern for the local Coroner (also known as the Office of Medial Examiner). Fairly certain somewhere she mentions that she’s going on to graduate studies.

Following more prodding, Bevin shares that she grew up in a religious cult.

Said cult was made up of fanatics, many of whom were eventually found guilty of murder, namely her parents, due to her efforts.

She grew up homeschooled, so would attempt to sneak out to the forest around her house any chance she got when her dad was gone.

Remained homeschooled up until highschool (when it becomes state mandated that children join a public/private school at least part time - no idea if this actually applies to her state, but it did apply to mine :P).

Here she gains access to the internet and eventually talks to someone who wants to get her out of her situation. Through the help of “kind internet strangers” she is eventually able to escape her family by the opening of a successful murder investigation against them/the cult.

As is made clear from ch.04, memories of her father in particular still haunt her.

General (not entirely so awful) details:

Has a number of “adventurous” piercings and hints of a tattoo on her back

Underwent surgery to remove her uterus following health complications.

To be continued via edits as the story progresses. :]

The Spirit (and everything else) as a whole:

Spoilers galore from here on out for almost everything in SAR (for the past and future). This part will touch on the spirit, Bevin’s powers, Bevin’s background, Solas’ thoughts/actions/inactions, background plotlines, future plotlines, and my own personal headcanon/lore-bending. Basically, I explain all the nuances and shit here. It’s very hodge-podge and I try to keep relevant stuff together if not in chronological order. If I’ve missed anything or you want more for some part, let me know.

Open secret that the spirit possessing Bevin is actually Mythal.

The first time the spirit makes her debut is actually in Chapter 10 during Nikki’s venture into the Red Future. The is the entity that takes over when Bevin is too frail to help with the fight (to note, Mythal is still very weak here).

In this alternate future, Solas is captured along with Leliana when they mount a rescue attempt that ultimately fails. Solas originally leaves the Inquisition following the Herald going missing/presumed dead, but becomes overcome with guilt and agrees to join with the Nightingale once seeing that his plans have little to stand on with the Elder One gaining so much power in the first place. They see getting the others back as an all or nothing effort.

Well, they’re captured. Solas spends the days/nights listening to them torture Bevin and Leliana while he’s very slowly dying of lyrium poisoning. He attempts to entertain and soothe Bevin with stories of the Fade and his past. He doesn’t really bother hiding anything at this point. Future-Leliana is far more concerned about getting Nikki back to the past to defeat the Elder One than she is with sharing Solas’ identity.

Later in present day, when Bevin is getting flashbacks of these days, she hears bits of these stories, but doesn’t have much context for them. She sees them as the bits of sunshine that peak through her nightmares. She’ll start to wonder about certain details later as some will conflict with what she otherwise knows.

When Bevin officially meets her present day, Mythal explains why she saved her. But she’s leaving out a lot of details and not at all telling the whole truth. Let’s break down her lieslines:

“I am the reason that you survived that eruption those months ago.”

Yes, well, she’s also the reason that Bevin was pulled through in the first place. Bevin’s entire involvement is due to Mythal.

“I was but an ever-weakening spirit, watching our worlds for over two thousand years from inside the Fade. I saw you pulled through that very first rift between the worlds. I believed that an outsider was the exact thing this tumultuous land needed, and used what power I had to protect you.”

She’s conveniently skipping over the part where she used Flemeth as a host for a long time. Mythal/Flemeth have been aware of the other universe for a long time. A habit of theirs has been watching select occupants as they live their lives unknowing. Mythal takes a shine to Bevin and her plentiful childhood struggles growing up in a crazy cult of psychopathic murderers. She reminds her of a much younger Fen’Harel. Upon seeing the fleeting opportunity, she decides that Bevin would make a perfect companion for her old friend given her unique insights and experiences.

Bevin is brought through the Breach and confronted by Flemeth, in an exchange that she has been made to fully forget for her own good. Mythal is transferred to Bevin who becomes the new host. In exchange, Mythal states the she will help Flemeth with her desires in the future (namely the events following the Well of Sorrows saga with Morrigan). Mythal ultimately sees this as getting what she wants. Solas succeeding with his plans and being happy is vengeance against the other gods for killing her. Bunch of long con-ers.

She’s not above poking and prodding, but, for the most part, she stays out of Bevin’s relationship with Solas simply so she can prove a point later when Bevin inevitably figures everything out. She made the opportunity but never forced or groomed her into anything.

When asked if she knows anything about Nikki’s involvement: “I am afraid not. Her circumstances are a mystery to me, just as those surrounding the events that took place here.”

This is actually true. She has no fucking idea about Nikki or the Conclave. She merely saw an opportunity and took it.

During talks, Mythal frequently uses terms that Bevin knows to be elven.

She specifically calls her “‘Ma da’isenatha” which translates to “my little dragon.”

Bevin garners the nickname from Mythal’s affinity for dragons and because of the large, ornate dragonfly tattoo across her back.

The spirit refers to Solas as Bevin’s “hahren” or “mentor” frequently.

There’s some lore bit somewhere that I read - absolutely no idea if it’s actually canon or not anymore since I have a horrible habit of not taking note of precisely where I read things (definitely my headcanon, hehe) - that mentioned that student/mentor romantic relationships were almost expected in some elvhen clans/alienages.

Within SAR, I’ve made reference to this through Solas. He uses his mentorship of her to keep her close and help enforce a sort of private authority over her even while she gains influence within the Inquisition and Thedas. He does, ultimately, want to include her in his plans, and that means ensuring that she listens to him above anyone else. He gets a bit underhanded.

Leliana’s doing something similar with taking Bevin under her wing (minus the romantic angle). Solas recognizes this and it creates a sort of rivalry between the two that escalates over time.

Bevin’s Powers:

Okay, you read all the general stuff on her powers above, so this is the nitty-gritty of it.

Solas really doesn’t have a clue about this particular magic beyond how he has used a form of it to intake excess mana from around him in a kind of “one fell swoop” gathering of it. He can sustain himself via the Fade for prolonged amounts of time, but this isn’t quite the same thing.

So he keeps an ear out for any new information regarding it, both in the Fade and out. It irks him to no end that Dorian has more knowledge of this area than he does while still not knowing enough about it.

Bevin’s syphoning magic is knowledge passed from Flemeth and Mythal.

She’s essentially been “branded” with it by them.

It’s involved in most of Bevin’s “peculiar” gifts.

Her vast, perpetual stores of mana from syphoning is part of what is powering her Foresight abilities.

The other part is spiritual energy, as is conveniently provided by Mythal.

This is why Mythal becomes dormant to recover after visions, especially more “involved” ones or after times where there are multiples.

As Bevin’s mana stores are depleted, Mythal grows weaker. As they become larger/stronger, Mythal grows stronger.

Foresight wasn’t actually a purposeful endowment by Mythal or Flemeth but an odd happenstance that came about from combining the powerful magics just right within one particular person (Bevin). To a much lessor extent, spiritual/Fade magic is used in minor divining and fortunes.

Cole, as a spirit, is also able to influence her visions. When he happens upon one, he can help make her “lucid” during them so that she has free range to move.

The life energy that she’s intaking is what is driving her healing ability.

To a more extreme end it is also part of what is changing her into an immortal being.

The other part being her gradual merger with Mythal/spiritual energy.

Her healing still has its limits: she cannot regenerate lost limbs or organs.

Cutting off her head would still probably kill her if it’s not reattached quickly. Smashing her head in would definitely still kill her. If a blade were to be shoved into her heart and twisted a few times, there’s a chance that she’d recover from it as that would still leave it mostly intact. Just removing her heart from her chest would kill her, though.

Her healing will revert her back to the body that she gained the ability with. So her prior scars will remain. She’s not getting her uterus back spontaneously.

So, Bevin is well on her way towards immortality.

A kind of “gift” from Flemeth/Mythal.

Flemeth has used spirit energy to remain effectively immortal for many, many years. Mythal helps deliver the spirit of the old god Urthemiel to her to fulfill their exchange so that Flemeth retains her immortality as well.

Yes, this is my hack for fixing this issue with her being human with Solas. >.>

After she fully merges with Mythal, she’d still be human, but she’d have an Elvhen mana system...thing.

Bevin’s other powers:

She’s primarily Storm natured, with a secondary nature for Fire (thanks to Mythal)

She can’t use Ice magic for shit (not the whole of the Winter School, but this is where most of her struggles lie).

Water’s not fun, either, but not seemingly impossible for her.

She eventually will learn that she can manipulate plants/nature magic.

And thus thinks that the entirety of Circle magic teachings are a load of bullshit.

She’s, like, half right.

Lotta bullshit, but she’s practically using Elvhen magic herself since she hosts Mythal, so she’s also not entirely right.

I am, of course, referring to the bit of game lore that says only Elves can use Nature magic/certain other aspects of Creation magic.

Mythal teaches her to shapeshift.

Beginning with forcing her into the body of a fennec and making her figure out how to turn back.

This first comes up in the Schematics side bit, “A Foxy Look for You.”

Bevin really likes her Barriers.

A lot.

Defensive magic is her A-game.

As a recap:

Mana

Life energy (I’m toying with just calling this “chi”)

Spirit energy

How Other Lore Ties In:

My pet theory for SAR.

Certain people from our world, typically of more creative minds, have been able to see dreams and memories from the Fade while asleep/dreaming.

Popular works of fiction have elements based on things that actually happened in the DA world.

Religions here have influences from events and religions there.

So when Bevin’s noticing an awful lot of similarities in the cultures and histories of the two worlds, it’s not just a coincidence.

Spells and magic theories that she’s read/heard/watched frequently have real world counterparts in the DA world.

And this is why some of her seemingly bizarre magic works.

Bevin’s Really Awful Background

Bevin’s background is based on bits of actual events/cases that I’ve read about/studied and my own experiences with growing up in a highly religious area and finally being able to “escape” it. This will move fairly chronologically through her life.

In ch.01 she mentions that she’s from Michigan, but she means this as in “I was living in Michigan at the time.”

She actually grew up in Louisiana, born Bébhionne Chael Ní Hallmhuráin (which is read “Bevin, daughter of Chael, (female) descendant of Hallmhuráin” in traditional Irish).

Daddy wanted a boy and took out his resentment on Bevin after they were unable to have any more children.

As a clan/cult elder, he dictated her life. She’s forced to participate in his extreme tutelage to follow their religion (which she describes as “quote-unquote Catholic.” Anything viewed as a mistake or slight to his demanded perfectionism of her resulted in mental/physical torture.

Her mother basically enabled him through her passivity, as is what is expected of women in the cult. She did nothing to physically abuse or detain Bevin (beyond neglect), but would inform on her to her husband. So there was some mental abuse, there.

Bevin has a couple friends from the cult that she would sneak off to play with (not all families were as strict as hers).

The first time her father catches her, he shaves her head to humiliate her.

Bevin tells herself from then on that she doesn’t care about her hair, but she still can’t stand to have it short. Once in Thedas, she really only wants it shorter to make it easier to manage.

Past that, though, it was more beatings/locking her in the closet/etc.

Also results in Bevin’s fear of small, dark places/claustrophobia.

Becomes best friends with a female cousin named Delanay, who has epilepsy.

Her clan had essentially overrun a small, isolated bayou town, which lead to her physical struggle to leave it.

Bevin tried numerous times to run away from home, each time spending a number of weeks/months surviving off the land as she tried to work her way further from the town. The first time she ran away to seek local authorities was when she learned that they would only delivery her right back home.

The last try, she’s hunted down by dogs until they’re attacked/scared off by the local, highly territorial pack of red wolves. She proved herself to the pack, gaining a new set of scars across her ribs, but voluntarily goes back home after one is found shot dead and threats are made on the rest of the pack.

She’s given up on life a lot by the time she’s in highschool.

She’s the small, quiet, awkward homeschooled kid that no-one really pays any attention to. This was her first exposure to computers and the internet. She uses the time waiting for her bus departure to explore online and eventually finds people that she talks to.

Someone points her in the direction of a group that helps minors leave abusive households.

She initially reached out to the group and even agrees to meet with an investigative lawyer named Jeremy after months of talking, but got cold feet, stood him up, and quit all contact.

When she was fifteen, she witnessed Delanay die of a seizure during an exorcism ritual performed by her father and other elders/clan members.

Following this, she’s plagued by guilt and reaches out to Jeremy again thinking that if she had followed through in the first place, this could have been avoided.

Through her talks with Jeremy, she learned that there was a case being built against the cult following several suspicious deaths and missing persons. She knew of evidence to support this and agreed to help him out, even though she has the physical evidence (in the form of scars) that could more easily get her removed from the family.

She then learned that her family was planning on marrying her off to a much older man. With this new development, she worried that she would no longer have access to where she knows that evidence is hidden since upon that marriage, she would be moved out of the home.

Bevin sneaks off to the forest in search of a certain plant warned to be avoided for its high degree of toxicity. She doesn’t want to kill the man outright, but knowing of her family’s superstitious nature, she takes advantage of the extreme hallucinogenic nature of datura (also known regionally as ‘devil’s snare’ or ‘moon flowers’).

The man was brought over to see her and she managed to poison him via his frequent drinks of alcohol.

His following extreme behavior that lasted for several days was enough to put off her parents before he managed to drown himself.

Bevin later greatly distrusts alcohol (and other “mind altering substances”) and the general culture of drinking due to this incident. She doesn’t like how easy it is to take advantage of someone under the influence, so will not partake herself.

Bevin used this time while they were distracted to gather the evidence needed and take it to Jeremy. After a time of further investigation, they had all that was needed to turn it over to the proper federal authorities, who ran with the case.

Aside from murder, most of the cult/clan was involved with money laundering among other crimes. The cult was disbanded.

Once free of her clan, Bevin changed her name by anglicizing it and taking on the name of her best friend (Delanay) in order to cut ties with and formally disown the clan name.

She was transferred to a group home in Michigan before being adopted by the man she had come to see as a father figure over the past year. She stayed with him for a quick two years until she was accepted to a university on scholarship and funds brought in from interviews and donations.

With life finally settling down following the initial trial verdicts, Jeremy took on another case through a boy trapped within another cult. This one gets a target painted on him and eventually killed for his efforts.

Bevin very much retreats into herself following his death, and throws herself into her coursework.

Running into a friend named Greyson from the group home finally brought her back out of her shell and she started actual therapy. She began volunteering in projects, including the study and tagging of wolves. This took her back to her roots where a group was looking to relocate her pack of red wolves to a protected reservation.

Throughout these years in uni is when she amasses her collection of piercings and select friends “civilize” her to the modern world.

A friend recommends a tattoo artist who ends up doing her dragonfly back piece.

Which Bevin gets to cover up the physical scars of her childhood.

Also saw a doctor about frequent abdominal pains that often completely incapacitated her. One thing lead to another, and she ended up with a hysterectomy to remove her uterus.

She had already intended for her family line to die with her, and was more than okay with this outcome.

In my headcanon, Solas is perfectly fine with this. He’s not looking to personally revive his people through the fruit of his loins.

I will never write about babies.

Puppies. Everyone gets puppies.

This mostly takes us to the present day.

Other details:

English is not a native language for Bevin (despite growing up in the US, her family spoke Irish almost exclusively), and she forgets words all the time. Sometimes the entire language. She had to learn it for high school and pushed herself really hard in order to make the most of her little online time and to not flunk out of school and be more permanently stuck with her family.

She grew up speaking Irish and Latin at a native level thanks to her clan roots and religious influence.

To a slightly lessor extent, she speaks fluent Bayou French (which is kind of more of a creole language).

She purposefully lost her Irish accent and adopts the General Midwest Dialect.

She occasionally lapses.

Solas and Leliana

As pointed out a bit above, there’s a growing rivalry between the two.

They both take on different mentoring roles for Bevin quite early. While Nichole learns more about the troops and warrior-ing, Leliana takes Bevin under her wing and teaches her more about the scouts/spy network.

Starts off as minor things at first: basic cyphers for messages, handling the ravens, general workings of the network and The Game.

Leliana increasingly sees Bevin almost as a younger version of herself.

Leliana doesn’t fully trust Solas from the beginning but not for the typical reasoning of him being an apostate.

She’s very aware that he doesn’t have a known background, and she’s worked to verify the little he has shared.

When she’s unable to, she becomes suspicious of him.

And worried about Bevin since the others rather lobbed her under his care exclusively.

Her agents’ inability to track him for very long also rings alarm bells.

So she knows that he’s likely more knowledgeable/ skilled than he lets on.

He is constantly under surveillance.

She sends Scout Kalen Highridge, who’s been in charge of watching out for Bevin, along with them when they head out after the lead on the Grey Warden.

He’s been kinda flirty with her before, and takes advantage of her reciprocation (she sees him as fling material) to try and wheedle his way into answers about Solas.

Her being not forthcoming at all really irks him as he’s begun catching actual feelings from their growing “relationship” and internalizes this as a kind of betrayal.

He “doesn’t see what she sees in him.”

He ends up botching his mission by pissing off both Bevin and Solas in such a way that makes it obvious what he’d been trying to do.

Solas specifically warns him away from Bevin for his duplicitous intentions.

Bevin has every intention of confronting Leliana, who she knows put Kalen up to it, but isn’t able to get the woman alone prior to the attack on Haven.

Had the attack on Haven not occurred, Leliana would have lobbied for the removal of Bevin from their shared hut.

Given that, she’s quite pleased that Bevin is given her own quarters at Skyhold.

Not so pleased that Bevin continues to spend quite a bit of time with the elf.

Bevin’s increasing duties take away most of her free time, so Solas begins seeking her out instead.

Leliana is the source of a lot of this work, and she takes the time to pull Bevin aside to have a “heart to heart” about their resident apostate.

Pretty much warns her but also says that she won’t come between them (just make it really difficult).

Also around the time that Bevin realises she has feelings for him, but this reaffirms to her that Solas may have ulterior motives or a sketchy past.

Game Solas vs Concept Art Solas

This is something I’ve been toying with for awhile that I finally decided to make into SAR canon.

They’re the same person. Solas uses a complex glamour spell, rooted to the halla jawbone he keeps on him. Removal of the jawbone wouldn’t result in an immediate change, but a gradual one as the weaving of spells wore off, so temporarily removing it would not be cause for alarm.

He created himself as-is out of the mildest parts of himself. He purposefully tries to make himself look bland to blend in with the first elven populations he comes into contact with upon waking up from uthenera. Older looking, no hair, lighter skinned, slightly softened bone structure.

Keeping it tied to the bone makes it so that he expends the least amount of mana/energy on it and so that it’s harder to detect.

Bevin can tell there’s magic attached to it, but doesn’t really question it, yet.

Bevin (and we) first sees a glimpse of him in Ch.21 when she finds herself in one of Mythal’s memories. He looks different enough that she isn’t struck by any kind of familiarity (and such a thing would not occur to her at this time, anyway).

The Minor Bits and Details:

““Never thought I would meet another sky watcher in these parts,” he heard the Avvar Mage mumble as he stepped to follow after Bevin. Turning, the Mage faced away to the flames, head once more upturned to the sky.”

Found in Chapter 23. Totally headcanon, but Amund is also able to see mana and life energy the way Bevin can. He recognizes the way she “watches the sky” as he does, leading to an offhand comment that Solas picks up, but has no context for, so pays it no mind.

To be continued via edits as the story progresses. :]

#Some Assembly Required #MrFancyfoot #The Details #SAR #dragon age fanfiction

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violetsystems · 7 years

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#personal

I took the train behind my apartment eight stops to a town called Cicero to meet my mom for a matinee last Saturday. She introduced me to Blade Runner when I was little. I always tell the story that she made me put my hands over my eyes during the movie’s one brief nude scene. It kind of sticks with me I guess because she exposed me to a lot of interesting stuff when I was little. At the same time she was pretty adamant I learn the right way. She was a Russian Political Science major, linguist and read me Tolkien at an early age. Her birthday is November 2nd and we usually celebrate day of the dead together. I figured it would be nice to take her for an early birthday present to see it. She didn’t make me close my eyes this time. She actually really enjoyed the movie. I did too. There’s a lot to talk about. For me it was a nice introduction to Denis Villeneuve and his cinematographer. I watched Sicario the other night and there’s some really intensely poetic shots. I also like the performances and relationships a lot in both movies. I felt like it was very human. It certainly felt human to watch it next to your mom in the theatre. With things going on in the world lately I’ve been retreating in my life to things that make me feel more human. I was just thinking to myself that it had been only maybe nine months since I abandoned alcohol. You can’t unlearn bad habits overnight. Sometimes it takes some intense soul searching and facing yourself in the mirror. I don’t have the kinds of anxiety in my head that I have over the years. I also don’t have the expectations or bizarre delusions of what success really is. Things were not been great for awhile in my personal life. I never could sit and watch things be corrupt. I always had to say something unpopular year after year. It was mostly the truth and it kept me alienated. I finally decided to leave all the anxiety of this city behind and travel around five years ago. I went to Hong Kong and Seoul. I stayed in Chungking Mansions in Tsim Sha Tsui and visited my cousin who taught at a World Peace School. She lived there with her husband from Beijing, daughter from Kenya, and half Chinese half Swedish son. Years later in the back aisle of a movie theatre in Cicero I would finally learn those memories were indeed real. I was not actually a replicant.

I do think the most human relationship in the movie was the love between two synthetic beings. It was dystopian enough to sit next to my mom uncomfortably and look at my phone longingly. Love is a complex thing to think about. I think about it often when I run. Days like today it hits me in the elevator when I miss my floor twice staring at my dash. In this climate it can feel like there is no love to be found. There is so much ugliness cracking through these days. It sucks up the air we breathe and the energy we have to resist. Watching a science fiction movie with my mom was a nice way to share some peace for once. I didn’t play cards down the street this week. Sometimes being social can be exhausting. Everybody wants you to be the peace maker. Last time I checked I didn’t work for the UN. But I am a Global citizen in some respects so I try to stay reasonably open. Two people approached me on the street yesterday and knew who I was. They had been to a show I threw back in February of 2016. I was doing everything by myself at that time. I wanted it to be safe even back then. I wanted it to be accountable. It was small. But it was good enough for people to mention it to me on the street. I’ve always tried to be humble above everything. And honest. It pains me to be honest just like everybody else. A friend had written something about men being very anxious about talking about feminism in this climate. You should be if you have something to hide. That’s all there is to it. If you feel sickened by what’s happening regardless of how you identify you should let the voices be heard. And we should listen to every horrible detail in horror as men to be really honest. Because we are not doing anybody any favors looking away from it. I wonder sometimes what men are afraid of when it comes to hearing women out. I don’t really have much to say about it personally. I listen. I think about how I could change. It doesn’t matter how much better I am in some people’s eyes. Being accountable isn’t a fun experience. A friend had said something to me about sharing music all these years. I’ve shared a lot. Jokes on the internet. Things I am thinking about. I do wake up at 5 am sometimes paralyzed thinking for some sort of inspiration. Some sort of plan for the day to be better than the last. I have far less distractions these days. Or the ones that I have just mean a lot more to me. It’s been a long fight to make that believable. For me it was resisting. I can’t live in a world like this without trying to be something better. That may just be five hundred miles of running since April talking.

The most important thing you can do in life to me is learn how to love. I spent a lot of time traveling by myself trying to connect with elements of my past. Maybe that was part of loving myself in a city that shunned me for not accepting the status quo. There was a time traveling to Korea and Japan was an escape for me. It’s funny more people know about me in context in those places than back home. I was a guest in those countries. And I found a lot of genuine places that treated me like a human being. Took me at face value and judged me by my actions. Years later there’s places that still remember me by name and the conversations we had about America and how I view it. I talked a lot about Daul Kim back then. She was my first real insight into Korea. I felt like she was a voice of a lost generation there. She took her own life and it’s a horrible lesson to carry around in the back of your head. How fetishization can reduce people to objects. How loneliness exists in some of the most beautiful people. How the world is built upon oppression, sexism and racism. How in some way it’s hard to fight when nobody remembers what battles you lost. I posted a photo of a ticket to the Comfort Women Museum in Seoul the other day. A friend had talked about how men are afraid to talk about rape culture. A friend from Seoul was the one who suggested I go to the Museum. We went out for coffee, ice cream and eel a few times and I listened to her talk about Korean politics. I’ve been on dates over the years but I haven’t been intimate with anybody for awhile. I don’t believe in rushing things. I don’t really believe in expectations. I believe I was led to the comfort women museum to experience it. I’ve told the story here before. You start in the basement. I went alone. You work your way up. The basement is obviously the most disturbing part. They tell the horrible stories first. And I cried. I still cry. I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks about my tears. That is undeniable pain. I didn’t want a medal for it. I got a ticket and a time stamp. Later I worked my way up to the top and stared out at the garden. Two older women approached me and asked why I came to visit. I told them. They had come from Japan to visit. It was a very human moment. And an honest one to face alone as a man. Kind of like watching a 300 foot tall naked woman break Ryan Gosling’s heart in the movie theatre next to your mom. Really glad I’m not a replicant. Really glad my heart is not broken through all of this. And really appreciate the people who inspire me to love more openly and honestly through these dark times. It’s a gift to be able to feel it genuinely. The Kate Bush discography kind of helps too. <3 Tim

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