"I'll see you guys later!" Eddie calls, his hips wiggling as he fake jogs to the door. Steve holds his hand up after him, Robin waves her whole arm at him, not looking away from the stove. Steve stares after him as he disappears, he hears the door open and click closed.
"You've got that dopey look on your face again." Robin says, crossing her arms and resting against the counter as she watches him. Steve turns to her, avoids her eyes and watches the steam rise from the bowl of Ramen on the countertop.
"Shut up." He grumbles.
"Just sayin. Your eyes get all shiny and your mouth literally hangs open sometimes... it's... ridiculous." She shakes her head but she looks... sad? Steve hates when she looks at him like that.
"Well-" he stops, takes a deep breath. Robin's lip twitches.
"Let it out babe. You'll feel better." She holds her hand out, twitches her fingers encouragingly.
Steve grimaces, runs his hands over his face and then jumps off the stool to his feet.
"It- it- it's just dimples! Dimples across the board Robin! I mean what am I supposed to do with that!?" He groans, his hands flailing at his sides, a habit he'd picked up from both Robin and Eddie.
"You should tell him how you feel maybe?" Robin says, he voice completely calm as she stirs her ramen slowly.
"Can you please stop suggesting that. We've established that's not a viable solution." Steve huffs, hands falling to the countertop on their small island, his shoulders tight.
"Well. No. You established that. I agreed to no such thing." Robin shakes her head, crosses her arms again.
"Steve. It's been three years. We've all lived together. For three years. You've been hopelessly in love with him. Forthree. Fucking. Years."
Steve opens his mouth to defend himself but before he can speak there's a clatter by the door and Eddie comes skidding back into the room.
"You're in love with me!?" He shouts, his eyes wide as they bounce between Robin and Steve.
"I'm out." Robin says, grabbing her bowl gently and walking away.
"Robin!" Steve calls, it sounds more like a whine but he would deny that to his grave.
"Nope." Is all he gets from her as she, uncharacteristically, gracefully dodges his reaching hands and disappears down the all into her room.
Steve turns, his mouth opening, about to apologize or backtrack or maybe cry a little, but instead finds himself with a chestful of Eddie Munson. Eddie's hands tug his hips close and then move nimbly up his sides to rest against his neck.
"Hi." Eddie says, smiling. Steve's eyes move to his cheeks, his dimples, helpless.
"Hi. I can expla- mmfph!" Eddie's lips press to his with a genlte force Steve could only associate with Eddie. His lips are soft, if a little chapped, and warm, moving gently agaisnt his. Steve lets his eyes fall closed and hums into the kiss, wraps his arms around Eddie's waist and holds him close.
"I'm in love with you too." Eddie breathes, pulls back, looks at Steve, his eyes shining with tears.
"I love you too." He breathes again, bumping his nose into Steve's.
"Yeah?" Steve asks, tilts his head and watches as Eddie dramatically clutches his chest with a teasing grimace.
"Yeah." Eddie nods, his nose scrunching. Steve bites his lip, squeezes Eddie's hips until he squirms and then pulls him close again.
"I love you." Steve says, reaching up and tucking Eddie's hair behind his ear.
"You said." Eddie sinks his teeth into his own lip and scrunches his nose again, swaying side to side, moving them both.
"Not to you. And it's nice to say it. Finally." Steve says, smiling as Eddie keeps them swaying slowly.
"Three years is a long time I guess." Eddie nods, slowly, eyes narrowing.
"What? What's that for?" Steve asks, reaching up and moving his finger over the frown lines on Eddie forehead, trailing his finger down his nose as well, making it twitch.
"Nothin just. Three years is a lot." He bites at Steve's hand as he moves it away to rest on Eddie's shoulder, Eddie's eyes move back to his face.
"But six years is longer." He mumbles it, and quickly tucks his face against Steve's neck, hugging him and holding him close.
"Wait what? Six years?" Steve frowns, tries to untangle Eddie from himself, Eddie holds on tighter.
"Eddie!" Steve huffs, manages to untangle himself and look at Eddie, who's red in the face.
"What?" He asks, sounding innocent. Like he hadn't just said what he'd said.
"Six years?" Steve asks. Eddie nods, looks at the floor.
"That was... senior year. My senior year." Steve says slowly, doing the math.
"Yeah. I was there for that." Eddie mumbles.
"I know. I just... you have not been in love with me since senior year." Steve protests, rolling his eyes fondly.
"Okay fine. Maybe not actual love. But I was infatuated. Big time." Eddie admits, rubbing at his neck.
"Dude I was miserable senior year. I had no friends. I got my fuckin heart broken. I mean I was a mess." Steve shook his head again, watched as Eddie nodded in agreement as he spoke.
"I know dude. And I know it probably says something shitty about me but... it was a good look on you." Eddie shrugged, looking sheepish.
"Misery was a good look on me?" Steve propped his hands on his hips. Eddie waves his hand at Steve, groans as he spins in a circle to get his eyes back on Steve.
"Yes man! Sorry. Not in like... ugh. I don't know. You went from pretentious douchebag to sad pretty boy. And you stopped Tommy shithead from shoving my head into a toilet one day and I dunna that sort of changed how I saw you okay?" Eddie's hands flailed, and then he clapped his hands and pointed at Steve.
"And! And and! You didn't even like... seem interested. You just told him to fuck off all nonchalant, and then you were gone, man! And then the next fucking year all that shit happened, and I saw you with the gremlins and I just... fell hard okay?" He shrugged again, rolling his eyes when he saw the grin spreading across Steve's face.
"You sat by my bed in the hospital man. What did you expect? There's only so much my little gay heart can fend off before it goes all soft and gooey." Eddie pouts at him and Steve thinks his heart might burst out of his chest.
"You never said anything." Steve says, takes a step toward Eddie.
"Yeah well. I didn't know you were into guys until very recently and I-" his hands wave at his sides, like he's helpless.
"You what?" Steve pushes, teasing now. Eddie levels him with an unimpressed look and then rolls his eyes.
"I was scared alright? Cuz if I said something, and you didn't feel the same, then I'd have ruined everything. And I don't know if you've notcied this Steve, but I kinda like having you around. And being around you." He makes a face, like it should be obvious.
"And love confessions tend to change things, between people. So I just... didn't say anything." He shrugged again, helpless again. Steve closed the distance between them quickly. Grabbing Eddie's face genlty, holding him as he stares at Steve.
"We are. So. Fucking. Stupid." Steve punctuates each word with a little shake to Eddie's head. The laugh that bursts out of Eddie as he wraps his arms around Steve and pulls him close again fills their apartment like sweet music.
Steve presses kisses anywhere he can reach, along Eddie's shoulder, up his neck, across his cheeks. Eddie finally cups his cheeks and finds Steve's lips with his own.
"Honey I love you. But if you ever call yourself stupid again in my presence we're gonna have a problem you and me." Eddie mumbles, his lips still brushing Steve's as he speaks. Steve snorts and dives face first into Eddie's neck.
"Laugh all you want sweetheart. I'm serious." Eddie assures him.
"I called you stupid too ya know?" Steve sighs into Eddie's shoulder.
"Mhm. I'm allowing that. Currently." Eddie hums, his hand rubbing Steve's back as he clings to him.
"Okay. I won't. But I do really love you." Steve says, pulls back to look at Eddie. His nose scrunches again, that giddy smile back on his face.
"I really love you too." Eddie darts forward, peppers kisses across Steve's cheeks.
"Shit. You're gonna be late." Steve says, glancing at the clock on the microwave. Eddie shrugs one shoulder.
"That's alright. They'll understand. You wanna come?" He asks, squeezing Steve's hips.
"You want me to come? To your dungeon game?" Steve lifts his eyebrows.
"Okay I know you know what it's called. That's not as cute as you think it is." Eddie says. Steve leans closer, his breath ghosting over Eddie's neck makes him shiver.
"Yes it is." Steve whispers, then licks a stripe up Eddie’s cheek, and then promptly pouts when Eddie is unfazed.
"They won't care if I come?" Steve asks, wiping at the wetness he'd left behind.
"Course not. The guys love you. And they'll be fucking ecstatic that I'm not gonna be pinning about you anymore." Eddie winks, slaps Steve's butt as he reaches behind him for his keys sitting on the counter.
"You've been pinning for me?" Steve repeats, teasing, as he grabs his shoes.
"Six. Years. Steven. Yeah, you could say I was pinning." Eddie grabs his bag off the floor as Steve tugs his laces tight.
"Alright alright. But hey," Steve presses himself to Eddie's side as they reach the door.
"They're gonna wish you were still pinning by the time we're done." Steve grabs Eddie's head and presses his lips to Eddie's cheek, hard. Eddie cackles, shoots Steve a wink as he grabs his hand, and tugs him out the door.
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Steddie + Richard Siken Quotes
If you're wondering about some other nice Siken quotes to go with these boys, since i have most often seen the jacket one, here's a bunch more:
"The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I’m alive, but monsters are always hungry, darling, and they’re only a few steps behind you"
"You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him"
"I’ve been rereading your story. I think it’s about me in a way that might not be flattering, but that’s okay. We dream and dream of being seen as we really are and then finally someone looks at us and sees us truly and we fail to measure up. Anyway: story received, story included. You looked at me long enough to see something mysterioso under all the gruff and bluster. Thanks. Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them."
"He was pointing at the moon, but I was looking at his hand." (hello Steve looking intently at Eddie while Eddie tries to tell him about Nancy)
"I crawled out the window and ran into the woods. I had to make up all the words myself. The way they taste, the way they sound in the air. I passed through the narrow gate, stumbled in, stumbled around for a while, and stumbled back out. I made this place for you. A place for you to love me. If this isn't a kingdom then I don't know what is."
"You go to work the next day pretending nothing happened.
Your co-workers ask
if everything's okay and you tell them
you're just tired.
And you're trying to smile. And they're trying to smile."
"Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more."
"Let’s admit, without apology, what we do to each other."
"Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story."
"Because people die. The fear: that nothing survives. The greater fear: that something does."
"I wanted to hurt you
but the victory is that I could not stomach it. We have
swallowed him up, they said. It’s beautiful. It really is.
I had a dream about you. We were in the gold room
where everyone finally gets what they want.
You said Tell me about your books, your visions made
of flesh and light and I said This is the Moon. This is
the Sun. Let me name the stars for you. Let me take you
there. The splash of my tongue melting you like a sugar
cube… We were in the gold room where everyone
finally gets what they want, so I said What do you
want, sweetheart? and you said Kiss me. Here I am
leaving you clues. I am singing now while Rome
burns."
"For a while I thought I was the dragon.
I guess I can tell you that now. And, for a while, I thought I was
the princess,
cotton candy pink, sitting there in my room, in the tower of the castle,
young and beautiful and in love and waiting for you with
confidence
but the princess looks into her mirror and only sees the princess,
while I’m out here, slogging through the mud, breathing fire,
and getting stabbed to death.
Okay, so I’m the dragon. Big deal.
You still get to be the hero."
"You just wanted to prove there was one safe place, just one safe place where you could love him. You have not found that place yet."
"And no one can ever figure out what you want,
and you won't tell them,
and you realize the person who loves you isn't the one you thought it would be"
"I don't really blame you for being dead but you can't have your sweater back."
"This is my favorite part. It starts and ends here. The pebbles shine, the plan worked, Hansel Triumphant. Lesson number one: be sneaky and have a plan. But the stupid boy goes back, makes the rest of the story postscript and aftermath. He shouldn’t have gone back."
"Don’t leave the room until I come back from the dead for you. I will
come back from the dead for you. [...] Leave the lights on. [...] I’m in the hallway again, I’m in the hallway. The radio’s playing my favorite song. Leave the lights on. Keep talking. I’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice."
Anyway. Enjoy.
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