oh im gonna be SO annoying about bbh in a minute. i keep saying the same thing over and over again but his character is too fucking complex motherfucker is like:
"i'm a demon who is 11,000 years old and i refuse to acknowledge that im a demon nor that i do bad things (like steal furniture) but i will help people every chance i get despite saying im going to stop doing that and i am going to devote my life to protecting these fragile little eggs even though i know im going to lose them one day because i love them too much (and i know i can do that and it will one day be okay, because i have an immortal diamond to keep me company even if he isn't here now). when my friend throws himself beneath the spokewheel of the federation i will be there, bitter about my loss, but i will not start a revolution until he proves he deserves one. i will do what i can to safeguard his system against corruption because i am afraid the federation will use him to hurt us. i know he doesn't want to hurt us. he keeps hurting me. he is isolated by our distrust in him and he is still working hard to try to be a good person in an inherently corrupt system that cannot be fixed so i will build him a statue. i will not kill him when he takes a picture of me in the presidential chair (that was almost mine) and puts it on his wall and calls me 'employee of the month.' i didn't do all of that work for the federation i did it for him like i do it for others because they are my friends. i will exhaust every option i have to build a reason to NOT start a revolution. to not kill him. because i have to say that i tried. i feel like i have made so many compromises. i have held myself back to try to find reason. i will still remove his access to my base. when the island turns against me and he locks me in a cage for a crime i did not commit, i will remove everyone's access (except for my family the french and my family the eggs). i am having fun. when the eggs appear the next day with cracks and dirty shells i will worry, but i know they're strong. they'll be okay. (when i find my son's secret lab and his unethical experiments that cause him harm i will be proud because he has done what i do. he has helped. i want him to be safe but we are never safe and i trust him more than anyone else. i know now, and i can help him be safe.) when the eggs go missing i will be silent. i will look for them, and i will destroy for them, and i will bargain for them, and i will cry for them, and i will not accept their loss. when my friend who is president who once built a safehouse that saved my eggs' lives is finally damaged by the federation (like i knew he would be when he became president) and he starts to hurt people by pushing the same treatment onto them i will not be surprised. i will be surprised when he tries to marry me. i will not blame him (much) when he tries to kill me. our children are missing. he is forced to pretend that his is not. i wish i could too. i will not tell him yes or no because i need an open avenue to manipulate him (because to save him i will have to manipulate him). i will not marry him because he is out of his mind. i have said marriage is overrated. i have also said that i want to live with him in a house with our kids and my skeppy. when he tells me that he wants to be happy with me i will still say 'aw' because it is the most genuine thing he has said to me and i miss my friend. i will still try to kill him. i fail to kill him with someone else's plan. i don't place a block to lock him in place. i hesitate. it doesn't matter if it's on purpose because the next plan works. i will reveal an item that could destroy me to my closest allies (and tubbo) because it will let us save him. we save him. when he kills himself 18 times over i back away from the explosion in surprise and then step close again. while i have grieved i have thrown myself into mines. it doesn't matter. i am numb and want to feel something. everything has lost colour. we save him.
i visit federation workers and ask them about my eggs and they do not tell me anything. i know they are lying. i visit the graveyard to talk to my lost eggs. i have lost all of the eggs. i do not know how to save them. i lay in the mud. it rains and rain signifies the monster has returned to kill my children but my children are not here and so i do not care. when i go home i will become so angry and i will go down to my basement (which i have locked like my friend locked the entrance to his greatest fantasy. we are so alike and our delusions are different. he child was real; here is the secret to finding my children) where i have locked a federation worker away. i will not wash away the blood stains.
i am also part-time grim reaper and i only ever dress up in robes to make people drink more water."
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The first snow of the season comes on a Saturday night, where Steve planned a movie night sleepover with the kids (plus Eddie and Robin) and on Sunday morning there’s enough snow to let them all play and roll around it. It’s the first snowfall Eddie experiences with Steve as his boyfriend.
Steve lets them play outside in the condition that they all wear hats and mittens. Eddie makes sure Steve still joins them, even though he’s the last one out of the door, having to make sure to put out a pot of water to heat later and enough hot chocolate to feed the gremlins later when they get tired of the cold. His boyfriend always seems to be worried for everyone but himself, always forgetting that he could also enjoy himself.
Eddie enjoys the time with the kids, Robin and his boyfriend. He’s always loved the snow. Winter in Indiana doesn’t get really high, but yesterday’s downfall gives them just enough to play with. They teach El how to make snowmans, Steve even brings out some scarf and carrots for it. They make snow angels and they have snowball fights.
It’s cold. But Eddie has never felt happier, never felt lighter. It’s like summer sunlight contained in each of the kids smile, in each burst of giggle, in each joyful scream. Robin’s buried in snow like she’s buried in the beach in the middle of summer, as Max laughs beside her. The kids are being kids, and he feels his heart growing twice its size at the prospect of them getting the chance to finally heal.
He turns around, spinning his head from left to right, when he can’t find the red beanie with the matching red scarf Steve was wearing. There’s a cold shiver that prickles across his skin, it’s the anxiety from Spring and Summer.
Eddie takes a deep breath, it’s okay, Steve’s okay. He’s just here somewhere, he walks to the far end of the big Harrington backyard, to find his boyfriend laying on the snow, spread out as he stares at the sky.
He can’t help the sigh of relief he releases.
“Steve?” Eddie calls out, Steve doesn’t respond, but he raises his hand.
“Baby, are you okay?” Eddie walks closer to him, until he’s close enough to kneel beside him.
When he’s close enough, he sees the tears streaming down Steve’s cheeks, his brown eyes glimmering in such a beautiful manner, Eddie wonders if Steve is the closest thing he can get to heaven on earth.
“Are you okay?” Steve doesn’t answer, making Eddie worry even more.
“Sweetheart, you have to tell me if something is wrong. Did Dustin hit your head too hard with that snow ball? I told him to slow down. Do you want me to call for help? Are you getting a migraine? Is it too bright for you?”
Steve turns his head at him, finally looking Eddie in the eye. From the distance, he can hear El laughing so freely it heals something in him, something he didn’t even know was broken in his heart.
“Steve?” Eddie whispers, as more tears fill his boyfriend’s eyes.
“I—“ Steve sniffles, “I am happy, Eddie.”
Eddie softens, “Oh, baby.” Steve sits up slowly, letting his head fall on Eddie’s chest, as Eddie wraps his arms around him.
“I think— I thought— I’d never be genuinely happy again.” Steve looks up at him, eyes filling with fresh new tears, “And I am actually happy right now, Eds. I don’t want it to go away.”
Eddie clutches his closer to him, leaving a kiss on top of his red beanie, “I can’t promise you that we’ll always be happy. But I can promise you that we'll be okay, and as long as we're all together, that'll be enough. You believe me, sweetheart?”
Steve hums against his chest, “Yes.”
In the background, they can hear the Mike starting to scream for hot chocolate, Robin’s starting to freeze under the snow as Will and Lucas try their best to dig her our of it, El is still trying to make balls of snow fly and trying to make a gigantic snowman, as Dustin and Max try to see if the pool was hard enough to skate on.
They’re all happy, a little cold, noses red from spending way too long in the snow. And maybe later, they’ll all end up with snots in their noses, bundled together in thick blankets as they watch a Christmas movie, hot chocolates in hands.
For today, that’s good enough, because they're finally happy.
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Marks of a warrior ft. Zhongli + gn!reader
cw/tags: hurt/comfort, self-harm mention (reader), scars, pretty suggestive but not full blown smut for once PLEASE these are delicate topics DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.
notes: Listen, as usual this is very self-indulgent, but also very personal, not everyone may feel like this of course and I hope not to make anyone feel insulted or uncomfortable, I try not to "romanticize" just... some comfort for the depression hours ok?
The satin sheets pool around your waist as you sigh, soft and nervous.
This was… the first time you got this far, and it made your heart skip a beat.
It was very intimate… and intimidating.
And despite that, there was a certain rush of excitement as Zhongli pulled off your clothes. You helped shake them off, a bit clumsily, and blushed as he stares at you.
And now here you are. Clad in just your underwear, shy and sitting on his lap, faces mere inches apart.
Those golden eyes travel over your skin, committing every curve, every mole, every strand of hair, to memory. Zhongli does not only look, he evaluates, he appraises that which he likes or finds fascinating. Studying it and, if enticed enough, the ex-archon’s gaze would turn covetous. Like a dragon wanting to claim and possess a new treasure.
Like how he stares at your right now.
There’s a certain hunger in his eyes and you almost shiver at the intensity of it, averting your eyes and subconsciously bringing up an arm to cover yourself. “D-Don’t just stare, I’m-”
“Beautiful.” He cuts off in a husky low voice that has you shivering for real now. He leans in to plant a kiss at your shoulder, your hands shoot up to his bare chest, curling there and feeling the smooth muscles.
Zhongli trails kisses up your neck, to you jaw, your cheek, your nose and you squeak when you feel his hands explore your body. Large and warm, trey trace your ribcage and brush at your nipples, you sigh.
“All this… just for me.”
You still cannot comprehend how can he look at you like that, with so much love, so much longing. How are you so lucky to have caught the eye and heart of someone so kind, so perfect. A deity, no less.
“Zhongli…”
His hands dip lower, circling your waist and there he finds something. You tense.
His thumb brushes along the scars on your hip and you flinch not-so-subtly.
This is the first time he's seen them.
The first time anyone has seen them.
Dark ugly slashes that you wish you could forget, you could undo.
"Please don't." You mumble urgently, nervous. "I..." Your lips purse together and you frown, conflicted. "I-I'm uncomfortable."
"Alright." Zhongli replies simply, his hands slide up your sides and he leans in to kiss a spot in your chest instead. A bashful smile returns to your face.
His lips meet yours in a slow but heated kiss, you can’t help but want more, be a little demanding. You arms drape around his shoulders and you pull yourself closer. The skin-on-skin contact is electrifying and you moan low.
Breathing each other’s air, pressed so close, so intimately entwined. You lose yourselves in lips and tongue and teeth, in soft hums and small noises and silent smiles.
It's nice, you think, to be so... wanted.
“You act as if you were ashamed. Warriors would often pride themselves on scars.” He says suddenly. “They are a symbol of victory. Another day to live after having faced danger and endured hardship.”
You huff a little, averting your gaze. “I’m h-hardly a warrior… those scars…” You gulp. Surely, he understood…? “They’re not from battle I… I did them myself.” You feel cold creep up your body. Dread. You feel painfully aware of them now, and the pain they bring… the memories.
He hums against your skin, nuzzling there softly. “Ah but that is where you’re wrong, my dear. Those are proof you have faced one of life’s strongest and most difficult enemies, your own dark thoughts. That which cannot be seen, cannot be easily fought, cannot be understood but for the one facing them alone.”
Your breath hitches a little.
“I, for one, I’m glad you’re here today. With me. Glad that you won that battle.” He punctuates every comment with a fleeting kiss, tickling your collarbone. One of his hands rubs at your shoulder, the other is warm on your thigh.
You blink rapidly and press your forehead into his chest, hiding the tears that wet your eyelashes.
How can he be so…
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
You stay silent in his embrace a little longer, as he rubs circles on your back.
“T-Thank you… Zhongli. One day I’ll tell you about it, but… now…”
He shushes you and leans back to lie down on the bed, bringing you along and still staring at you with that same reverence. Your pelvis brush together and you gasp. The warmth is back and growing to a full flame.
And this god, this perfect being splayed here below you…
“It’s fine if you don’t. Don’t feel forced to… you deserve to feel comfortable in your own body, and your scars do not take from who you are, nor they define you.” He cups your cheek, eyes half-lidded. “Don’t think about it now…”
You lean down with a smile and kiss him again.
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