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katatonicimpression · 5 months

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A Walk Through My Year in Media

This isn't necessarily things that came out this year, but rather things that I watched/read this year that I liked or compulsively consumed regardless of whether or not I liked them.

2023 in Films

Most of this post is going to be positivity; a sampling platter of things I've enjoyed this year. But also:

Salty Film Hot Takes:

The French Connection is uncomfortable to watch. I don't care about the racist, antisemitic, misogynist cop. He's objectively bad at his job make him go away.

None of the Next Generation era trek movies are good.

Guardians 4 would have been a better movie if Pratt wasn't in it. And I mean that in a "the script would be better structured" way.

Se7en is a really fun film and I'm not mad to have rewatched it recently but... it's undermined by 1) the writers not realising that John Doe's opinions are bog standard right wing talk radio shit, 2) the fact that they kind of agree with him and 3) they clearly, hilariously, don't know what lawyers do.

The Mummy (2017) is awful. I guess that's not controversial but still.

Robin Hood (2018) is also awful. Like, amazingly so. And, slightly warmer take, so is Prince of Thieves you guys.

I will not be answering questions on any of the above.

Positive Film Hot takes:

I went on a bit of an 80s dark fantasy kick this year. Out of films that I hadn't seen before, The Dark Crystal and The Last Unicorn really stood out. Especially the Dark Crystal. I ended up rewatching the show as well. Just so good. Bring it back. Justice for the gelflings.

I also watched a lot of Terry Gilliam this year - not all of his back catalogue but most of it. Obviously Jabberwocky is almost entirely bad, no one needs to be told, but overall yeah you get why he's beloved. The common vibe from his films is "wow there's so much to love here but it doesn't quite work". Brazil is an obvious standout - it's a classic for a reason. But I want to highlight The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. Behind the scenes disaster and orientalist opening sequence aside, it really is spectatular. The sets, the details. It's so well crafted and just makes you wish they made films like this all the time. Damn you, Terry.

The 1938 Robin Hood film is the best Robin Hood film. Yes, congratulations, you noticed another theme in the shit I've watched this year. But yes, it's great, it's fun and well paced. It holds up staggeringly well. I also watched The Court Jester (1955 - with Danny Kaye and Angela Lansbury) - Also surprisingly great.

Finally, also feeling medieval, I watched Excalibur (1981). This is more "swords and sorcery" than "dark fantasy" (think: Conan the Barbarian vibes), but it's kinda great (most of the genre is not, lbr). It captures the logic of those stories, the vibes of the mythology very well, the mix of pagan and early christian beliefs, and the weird metaphysics that results. It's great. Way better than that dumb clive owen one. My lord that was bad.

2023 in Telly

Live Action Drama:

Succession

It's good. I don't think anyone needs me to tell them that. Still haven't finished it but enjoying it in a peaceful, fandom-free way.

Robin Hood (2006)

This was a terrible show, with an even worse third and final series. Did I rewatch the whole thing anyway? Yes I did. Should I have? No. (I love the first two so much though. Lily Allen's dad as the sheriff of Nottingham as tony blair? sign me up.)

Doctor Who

Am I a basic bitch who only came back to who because RTD did? Yes. But at least I'm not quite as basic as the ones who were only back for Tennant. The first one was good, if a little on the nose, the second was great, the third was good up until they get onto the stupid avengers platform for the showdown, from which point me and everyone in the room just got mad at it. The christmas special was fun though, excited for Gatwa and the new series.

Adult Animation:

Castlevania: Nocturne

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Genuinely so great. It's very clear that they're setting up a whole multi season arc with this first season, and the incompleteness that comes with that is probably its biggest flaw. But overall, fucking fabulous. The animation, fights, character design. Just a gorgeous show. Maybe not to everyone's taste; it's fantasy, but not escapist - its very much rooted in the historical injustices of the setting and has some heavy themes as a result. But if you liked the first Castlevania show, then you'll probably love this.

Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix

You might have noticed that there was a show out that featured "Rayman, but with drugs and cussing!" and, yes, this is that show. You might not have noticed that Rayman is only a small part of it, and it's actually about Dolph - a traumatised gay cyborg - and his no good, horrible, very bad breakup. Dolph is great.

Star Trek: Lower Decks

Do you like Star Trek? Do you like silly cartoons and workplace sitcoms? Then do I have the show for you. Real highlight of the year for me tbh. While the show is built on poking fun at trek canon, and can feel a little overly reliant on nostalgia sometimes, the latest season really pushed for more meaningful character moments in between the laughs. I like it. It's good.

Mononoke

This was the most mixed of mixed bags. Japanese horror with a really striking and confronting art style. At its best, it's got this visceral atmosphere that sucks you in and is genuinely fantastic. At its worst, it's got a whole storyline about "abortion ghosts", and features some art that comes across as racial caricature. Between this, and a few other things that felt uncomfortable in an unintentional way, I don't think I'd really recommend this, but it did stick with me, I'll give them that.

YA Animation:

The Dragon Prince

If you're into the whole YA fantasy adventure thing, this is an obvious rec. It's biggest flaw is how slow it's been to release, but if you're binging it for the first time, that's not a problem. It's heartfelt, it's pretty, it's clearly a kids show but is well crafted and has appeal beyond its core audience.

Star Trek: Prodigy

S1 actually originally aired like two years ago, but I only watched it this year after finding out that it was cancelled. But it was rescued! S1 is now on netflix, and s2 will air there next year. Genuinely a really fun contribution to the whole trek shebang, fitting into the universe well without ever feeling reliant on nostalgia.

I didn't include the two other treks that aired this year because s3 of Picard sucked balls (still not over it) and Strange New Worlds has stopped appealing to me... but that's a whole thing for the other blog. But the animated series are great! Also Disco. I still like Discovery.

Skull Island

This was better than it had any right to be. One season of a surprisingly funny King Kong show, also on Netflix.

Reality:

Rupaul's Drag Race UK Season 5

DRUK is good again, hooray. The dark times are over... for now.

Married at First Sight UK

Do not watch this. It will consume your entire life. Your brain will melt away as you watch someone fake cheat on their fake husband with someone else's fake husband just days into their fake marriage.

Taskmaster

It's good. It's been good. It continues to be good.

2023 in Gaming

Lol no. Can you imagine?

I did play the sims a lot. I had my guy cheat on his husband who then died.

2023 in Books

Fun fact: I only finished one of the books I intended to read this year. That's embarrassing. Anyway, it was "From Here to Eternity" by Caitlin Doughty (yes, the Ask a Mortician lady). It's great.

2023 in Comic Books

Orlando

This has really been Steve Orlando's year for me. I was thinking about what series I would include on a highlight list, and his Scarlet Witch was the only obvious answer for me. Sara Pichelli's art in that series is gorgeous - I love the way she draws Wanda. The writing is solid, compelling, tells a complete story. If I were to recommend any one series from this year, it would be this.

His Astonishing Iceman was also up there for me, and I will also repeat that the Mutant First Strike one shot he wrote was genuinely great. Kudos, Steve.

Gillen

Kieron Gillen's Immortal X-Men is easily one of the best to come out of the Krakoa era, and this year was no exception. I didn't really care about the Sins of Sinister event, and I care even less about the Fall of X event, so it really means something that I'm still including this series here despite it being dominated by these events. The issue with Piotr's narration has been my favourite, I think. But overall, still strong. I really hope he gets to continue writing these characters (especially Exodus and Sinister) in the future.

Other Positivity

Ewing's Black Panther series is really solid, Avengers (2023) has been pretty good. Dark X-Men was probably my actual favourite of the Fall of X titles.

Negativity

Lol I already said I didn't like the x-events. I also hated cold war. Such a waste of an opportunity. Speaking of, a lot of my comics-based salt and frustration this year has been about Sam. The way that he gets written out of things, ignored, then he turns up and his written badly and goes straight back to being ignored again. Then Marvel turns to the camera and is like "why would audiences do this?".

Put the fucking effort in and more people would show up for him. It's not that hard.

There's my overall annoyance with Duggan, which is a freebie, but one highlight of that has to be the bizarre direction they went with Kamala. No one wanted this, no one needed it, and certainly nobody needed the weird gleeful "killing" of this character just to launch a pointless plot beat that feels both offensive (see: Emma lecturing Kamala about not understanding real oppression) and is inexplicably happening during a whole massive event that feels like it should be about other characters.

The end...?

I don't want to keep listing things that annoyed me this year, because it'll just get repetative. If you follow me (which, if you don't, why are you reading this?), then you'll see me complaining about random crap all the time anyway.

Have a good NYE everyone!

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heliads · 2 years

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Who Could Stay

Based on this request: "Robin Hood AU, Newt x female reader. Ava Paige is King John. Janson is the sheriff of Nottingham. Reader is Robin Hood. Thomas, Minho, Gally, and Chuck are the Merry Men. Newt is Marian. He’s a nobleman who the reader falls in love with."

vibes off the charts

masterlist

The morning of the contest looms. Across the fair city, scores of archers are readying their bows, fletching their arrows, parading towards the grounds in waves of checkered cloaks and satin garments. The prize, a bag of coins, doesn’t mean much to them by way of money. They’re more interested in the fame it would bring to their title than anything else.

You, on the other hand, are distracted by something far more interesting than even the brightest compliment to your rank. Esteem is one thing, but gold? That’s of far more use to you. You are an outlaw, after all, and that means steady hours aren’t exactly your sort of thing.

Then again, you’re not just any outlaw. You’re the one that lingers in the rumors dotting town streets, the name whispered again and again over darkened thresholds and gossip mongers’ dens. You’re Robin Hood, and around here, that means something quite important.

No, you have no need for a title. You shucked that from your shoulders yourself when you chose to live in Sherwood Forest and spend the rest of your days on the run from the law. It’s not like you would ever want to retreat back to society, anyway; to take part in any action that might help the ruling class is strictly against your best wishes.

It hadn’t been like that all the time. There had once been a kind and fair leader over your people, King Alby, although the man hasn’t been seen in a very long time. You think some folk still harbor a belief that he might come back and save all of you, but you’ve long since accepted that such hope is worthless.

What matters now is trying to survive under the current regime. You’re sure that Queen Ava Paige ascended to the throne with at least the barest aspirations of doing good to her people, but those beliefs have long since been bled dry. Now, she terrorizes the towsfolk in search of more resources, more results, and never do the benefits ever reach the people they were supposed to help in the first place.

Additionally, her right hand man is something of a menace all by himself. Sheriff Janson of Nottingham is a foul, rattish man, given to seeking out people in need and leaving them even worse off than before. He’d kidnap or kill anyone he needed to if he thought it would get him a step ahead.

That’s why you left all of that behind. You live on the fringes of society, delving deep within Sherwood Forest every night to find a home far better than anything civilization could offer. When Ava and Janson’s men dare to venture within the bounds of your forest, you take their riches and redistribute them to those who could actually use the gilded trappings.

It’s more far this way by a long shot. Over time, you started to gain more supporters, and your band of outlaws grew. Now, you call yourselves the Merry Men, and your numbers only rise by the month.

Your friends survive not just by your own resources, however, but by constantly dancing in and out of skirmishes with Janson’s soldiers. That’s why entering today's archery contest would be a terrible idea, yet you’re still doing it anyway. There’s no doubt in your mind that Sheriff Janson will be there looking for the one they call Robin Hood, but that’s precisely why you have to go in the first place.

There’s something to be said for the fun of outsmarting the Sheriff. It’s quite easy to do, actually, and the rewards feel all the more pleasant for it. Although Robin Hood is technically an outlaw, there are no rules on the entries to this particular contest, so of course you could enter. The only problem comes with escaping after the contest ends and you’re right in the Sheriff’s clutches.

Then again, if you were the kind of person to back down from a good challenge, you’d never have made it as far as you have. You enjoy a good bit of fun, and this contest seems like just the right avenue for it.

Besides, if you’re willing to admit it to yourself, you’d share that there’s one more reason that you’re inclined to attend this archery contest in particular, other than the thrill of a cash prize and humiliating Janson: namely, the young man you can just make out arriving at the scene of the contest, the sole nobleman you can’t find it in yourself to hate.

Lord Newt is well known throughout the town and surrounding lands for being a genuinely good person. He helps out those in need, he offers advice to those who come searching for it, he does everything in his power to make sure he uses his station to aid instead of harm.

He’s also way out of your league, even if you weren’t an outlaw. You’ve never had cause to meet him, obviously, but that doesn’t stop you from wishing you could. You lean against the trunk of a nearby tree, staring out at him as Newt crosses the field to greet some other nobles.

Behind you, a few of your Merry Men have noticed your distraction and feel it necessary to comment on the matter. Your newest arrival, Thomas, starts talking in a low voice.

“You know, I was so keen on figuring out how we were going to use that gold, but I’m starting to think that we might have to think more about getting our Robin Hood in line than anything else.”

The brusque voice of one of your best fighters, Minho, answers him soon enough. “You might have cause to worry after all, Thomas. Y/N’s not focused on her bow in the slightest, she’s too busy pining over some rich boy who’ll never pay her any attention. It’s a hopeless case.”

You respond to your friend’s retort without bothering to turn around. “Shut it, Minho, I’ve got enough skill with a bow to never have to practice. And besides, I wouldn’t exactly call my case hopeless.”

Minho lets out an obviously staged gasp of surprise. “Why’s that? Have you actually talked to him?”

You grin, and finally look over at him. “No, something better. He’s talked about me.”

Minho throws a hand in the air, whereas Thomas starts to laugh. “That’s not any indication of anything,” Minho says, “only that he’s aware of the local criminals. Everyone else is, too, does that mean the blacksmith is fond of you?”

“The blacksmith is incredibly fond of me,” you answer, eyes wide, “we give him ten gold pieces every time we see him.”

Another one of your Merry Men, Gally, snorts. “Well, if all it took to appease your nobleman were a few bribes, I’d say you’d better get to winning this contest. You’ll need every bit of that gold to attract someone so rich.”

“Ah, Gally,” you counter, “I don’t need money. I’ve got my dashing personality, and I don’t think there’s a soul alive who could resist that.”

“Even the Sheriff?” Gally asks, eyebrow raised.

“Even the Sheriff,” you grin, and reach up to pull the hood of your cloak over your face. It’s time to win this contest.

Despite your favoritism for causing a scene, you do know enough to keep your identity hidden. Entertaining a little bit of secrecy allows you to visit the town when you need to, especially when you’re not interested in leading the soldiers of Nottingham on a merry chase through the streets. You doubt any of the Sheriff’s men even know that you’re a girl. All they see is a deep green hooded cloak and nothing else.

You’re perfectly fine with staying hidden. Thus, when you arrive at the archery contest, hood casting your face in shadow, you don’t even have to say your name before the officiant announces in a surprised voice that Robin Hood has arrived to compete.

It does earn you your fair share of scathing remarks from your competitors as you take a position in front of an available target, but you could give less of a damn about what some nobleman’s useless sons think about you.

Instead, you allow yourself to glance casually over at the audience, where a certain someone resides in the box reserved for the wealthy. Lord Newt is already looking at you, and flushes a quiet scarlet when you flash him a quick smile. Looks like Minho doesn’t know what he’s talking about in the slightest.

The contest starts soon enough, forcing you to divert your attention away from Newt once more. As the officiant drones on about the rules, you notice something strange about your target. You swear it looks further away than the others, and the surface of the painted circles looks strange. The other competitors have hay bales with canvas stretched over them, but you could swear that yours is of a different material, likely not as easy to hit.

It wouldn’t surprise you that the Sheriff would resort to such tactics. He’s looking to humiliate you by taking away your skill with the bow. It’s a shame, then, that you’re used to practicing in far worse conditions. It’s almost fun to see the look on his face when you hit the dead center of the target anyway, despite all his meddling.

What’s less fun is when the Sheriff doesn’t even wait for the end of the contest before calling his soldiers to attack you. You were waiting for a trap, of course, but that doesn’t mean your escape isn’t fairly difficult to achieve. Within an hour, though, you’re meeting your Merry Men in the outskirts of the forest as planned, only a little worse for wear than before.

You’re ready to head back into the depths of the forest and lose any soldiers that might still be following you, but just as you’re turning to leave, Thomas gestures behind you with a jerk of his chin.

When you turn around, you’re surprised to see Newt standing there before you. If anything, he looks just as confused about the whole thing, but pulls out a bag from beneath his cloak before you have the chance to ask him what he’s doing. Judging by the way it clinks with every movement, you have a guess as to what it contains.

Newt explains anyway, clearly glad for some script to follow. “I know the contest was interrupted, but you still won fair and square. Figured you would be more deserving of the prize than if it just disappeared back into the Sheriff’s coffers.”

He holds out the bag to you, but you just grin. “I didn’t think you were in the habit of talking to criminals.”

Newt’s face flushes again, and when he speaks, his words are clipped, precisely controlled. It’s a very sharp contrast to the easy words of you and your men. “I’m not.”

You chuckle. “I can tell. Hideous accent. Atrocious. You sound like a nobleman.”

Newt blinks at you in surprise. “That’s because I am.”

You shrug. “Figures. Anyway, are you coming or not?”

“Am I coming?” Newt repeats, “What are you talking about?”

You allow yourself a small smile. “Back to our camp, of course. If you’re bringing us money, you’re clearly our friend. Maybe you could use a chance to get to know some of us petty thieves. Besides, if you’re having doubts please know that I will be leaving you with the money, and if you don’t follow us to hand it over that might be considered stealing.”

Newt stares at you a second longer, then starts to laugh. It’s a good look on him, you can admit it freely. “I think I can see why the Sheriff wants you dead.”

You grin back at him. “What, because of my winning temperament?”

“Something like that,” Newt says, and falls in line with the rest of you.

Thomas and Minho exchange surprised looks over your shoulder, but you’re not taken aback by Newt’s sudden decision in the slightest. Every time you’ve seen Newt out with the other noblemen, he looks distinctly uncomfortable, as if he’s more than aware that he isn’t quite like the others. It seems that your men might not be the only ones who want more from society than they’re going to get.

As it turns out, your hunch is spot on. It only takes a few minutes before Newt’s conversing with your friends as if he’d known them his entire life. He even manages to befriend Gally, a task that took you several weeks and the others ranging up to a few months. Newt’s just a nice guy, that’s all, and you certainly don’t mind his company in the slightest.

Newt’s position as an inhabitant of Sherwood Forest only seems to grow more permanent as the weeks pass by. He ends up visiting at least every couple of days to bring food, supplies, and news of the Sheriff. Newt’s basically a spy on the inside, and his information proves to be quite valuable on more than a few occasions.

Thanks to his warnings, you and your Merry Men are able to avoid traps and ambushes, even despite Sheriff Janson’s best attempts to catch you. You can tell that it’s driving the man insane, even without Newt’s laughing stories about how Janson looks one minute from a heart attack.

Yes, Newt fits in quite well with your band of thieves. He even ends up bringing his younger sister, Lady Sonya, and her good friend, Lady Harriet one day, to the enjoyment of the whole party. Your newest addition, Aris, is particularly delighted to see them. As it turns out, he’s been friends with Sonya and Harriet for quite some time.

Aris had been a nobleman’s son before he joined your ranks. Just like you, the hypocrisy and inequality of it all got to him and he decided to run away. Aris hadn’t had much of a chance to warn Sonya and Harriet about his whereabouts, but they’re all certainly happy to catch each other up on all that’s happened in his absence.

You find Newt standing by the edge of your camp one night, watching the three kids talk. He’s just on the outskirts of the campfire, more in shadow than in light. All the same, you’re still able to see the quiet emotion flickering across his face as he listens to Aris regale the girls with stories of his newfound freedom. If you didn’t know better, you’d say that it was almost envy.

“You could do it too, you know,” you whisper, “Join us. Leave the rich and their self serving gambles to someone else.”

Newt sighs. “I wish I could. More than anything.”

You get the sense that he truly means it. “Then do it, Newt. You’ve heard Aris talk, he was able to make the trip. I know our way of life isn’t all velvet cloaks and grand palaces, but it’s worth something, too.”

Newt looks at you dead on, and you’re startled by the bleak hopelessness in his gaze. “It was feasible for Aris, but not for me. Aris is different, he doesn’t have as many people surrounding him all the time. I’m more chained up than Aris ever was, I couldn’t possibly be able to leave forever.”

Newt speaks quickly, the words hastened out of his mouth by something that could even be guilt. You’ve never wanted your friend to suffer, so you ease his burden as best you can.

“It’s not your fault,” you reply, “Besides, you are rather useful in your information. We wouldn’t know about half the attacks if you weren’t here.”

Newt smiles softly. “It is pretty fun, I can admit that. All the spying makes one feel rather daring.”

You laugh at that. “See, what did I tell you? We’ll make an outlaw of you yet.”

Before Newt can respond to that, you hear something, a sound carried over the whisper of the wind. You hold up a hand to ask for silence and listen hard. A moment later, your eyes widen as you realize just what’s coming for you.

“Soldiers!” You shout to your friends, “Everybody, run!”

There’s just enough time for your friends to register your words before the horses are upon you. They break into the clearing, hoofs rearing as armored men leap down at you. Newt grabs at your arm, dragging you away. This is no time for a fight, you’ve been heavily outnumbered and taken by surprise. You can see the others making the same choice as you, melting away into the forest before the soldiers can spot them.

Newt’s breath is harsh in your ear. “What do we do? Where do we go?”

You pull at your arms, still intertwined, and start to run in a northerly direction. “We established a safe location some time ago, everyone knows to meet there. Follow me.”

“As if I was going to leave you,” Newt mumbles under his breath, and runs after you.

The flight through the trees is dark and full of danger. Although you’ve always known Sherwood Forest well, it seems even more perilous now that you’re being pursued. The sounds of baying hounds and shouting men echo behind you, driving you forward as fast as you can. Branches whip at your face, roots seem to lunge towards your feet, but you and Newt fight on anyway.

Eventually, you gesture for him to come to a stop. This is the safe haven, a spring hidden deep in the crevices of a rock face. Only your Merry Men would be aware of its existence.

The two of you pause to catch your breath and wait for the others to arrive. Now that the danger is past, Newt glances at you, and his hand raises unconsciously to your face.

“You’re bleeding,” he says, gently wiping away a scarlet smear with his thumb.

You freeze there for a second, his hand still on your cheek. Neither Newt nor you appear willing to move. Why should you, anyway, when you’re so deeply cloaked in darkness that neither of you could be seen? The moonlight is soft, dappling his hair such that it seems more silver than gold. Perhaps the two of you will stay here forever, locked into place, twin statues that could never be separated. It is certainly a better fate than any that might befall you.

A crashing sound from the forest is the only thing capable of breaking the two of you apart. Within moments, Thomas is skidding to a stop in front of you, Gally and Chuck right behind him. Sonya and Harriet emerge from the woods a few paces back, looking just as worse for wear as the rest of you.

“Everyone here?” Thomas asks. Evidently, he had taken as many people as he could and just ran.

You start to do a head count, then panic. “Where’s Minho?”

Chuck’s eyes are wide. “He told me to run, and that he was going to distract a captain who was charging at us. Has he not come back yet?”

Your blood runs cold. “Not yet, but that doesn’t have to mean anything. Maybe he had to take a looping way here and he’ll show up later.”

A few hours later, though, even you have to admit that Minho won’t be coming. He’s likely been captured, something Newt confirms when he risks a trip into town to check it out for himself. Apparently the Sheriff is holding him hostage in one of the prisons. Minho himself is a little battered, but not too bad.

It’s a pretty obvious trap. The Sheriff is clearly waiting for you, but even in the face of such terrible odds, you know just as well as the rest of your friends that you’ll be coming for Minho anyway. Minho is one of your eldest friends, your bravest fighter. You’ll save him even if it damns you.

Newt still tries to talk you out of it, just in case. “Don’t go, Y/N. The rest of us can sneak around a lot easier than you can. Sheriff Janson’s got scores of men combing the streets in search of you, it’s not worth it.”

“It is,” you say simply, “Minho’s family. Besides, no one knows that I’m a girl. I’ll just act like a normal townsperson and we’ll be out of there in no time.”

Newt doesn’t seem convinced, but he can tell that you’ve already made your mind up. “I’m helping too,” he replies, “and don’t even think about trying to talk me out of it.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” you grin, and Newt smiles at last.

Thus the plan unfolds: you and your Merry Men will wear disguises into town, as if you were nothing more than ordinary citizens of Nottingham. You’ll divert the guards and rescue Minho before Janson realizes that his infamous Robin Hood is a teenage girl. After that, you’ll have to keep your heads down for a while, but at least you’ll all be out.

The first part of the plan goes well enough. You and your friends enter Nottingham from different points, slowly but surely converging on the prison. You’re able to enter the jail under the guise of serving food to the prisoners, but that’s where it all goes wrong.

For one thing, the jail is empty. You check and double check the cells, but it’s true. Minho isn’t there. When you try to leave, soldiers arrive to block the doors. Obviously, they’ve been expecting someone would try to spring Minho, and the only ones who wouldn’t know about the switch would be you and your allies.

You’re able to fight off the soldiers reasonably well with the help of Gally and Thomas, but the element of surprise is gone. Newt races up to you, sharing through deep breaths that he heard Minho is being held at Queen Ava’s palace instead. The reward of capturing Robin Hood would be enough to even involve royalty. It would be a wonderful compliment were it not for the fact that you’re terrified you won’t be able to save Minho.

Newt knows secret passageways into and out of the castle thanks to all the hours he had to spend there in his youth, and is able to lead you and your friends to one of them. He does caution you about jumping out of windows any taller than the ground floor, and points to his leg with a wry grin.

“Got bored of a stuffy banquet and tried to escape,” he whispers, “Didn’t end too well. Now I’ve got a limp for life and not a whole lot to say for it.”

With that warning in mind, your group sets off. You don’t entirely know where Minho is being held within the bounds of the castle, so you split up into groups of two. All parties involved have the directions to head to the safe haven in the forest should anything happen, and then the searching begins.

You’re working with Newt, and the two of you check every room on your designated sector, the third floor, before coming up blank. As you’re turning around to head back out, your path is blocked by one of Ava Paige’s knights. You’ve heard a lot about this man in particular; a more dastardly blackguard has never been seen.

He’s even a worse foe than the Sheriff. This knight has spread his cruelty over the lands like a virus, infecting the minds of otherwise rational men with the urge to pay him off, to commit crimes in his name and give this treacherous man as much leverage as he could possibly have in the palace. He’s even been given a nickname by those unfortunate to come in contact with him: the Flare, for how he burns his way through civilized society.

Newt stretches an arm in front of you, as if to keep himself in between you and the Flare. The knight cocks his head to the side, evidently curious as to what’s happening.

“Lord Newt, I haven’t seen you in quite some time. You know, I was hoping we’d meet. I hear we might have much in common.”

Newt shakes his head slowly. “I fear our meeting will have to be delayed a little longer. I must be off.”

The Flare’s eyes narrow. “You’d deny me my right? To induct good men such as yourself into my ranks, as my status allows?”

Newt’s gaze flickers briefly to you, and you can see the warning written there, clear as day. The Flare’s attention drifts to you now. “And who’s this lovely lady with you? You know, I’ve heard rumors that Robin Hood might not have the face we expected. You wouldn’t happen to know about that, would you?”

You and Newt start to make for a nearby exit, but the Flare draws his sword, stepping calmly in front of it. “I think the two of you know more than you’re letting on. I’m going to have to stop you there.”

Newt’s hand drifts to his sword, but you can see how this battle would turn out even before they cross blades for the first time. The enemy knight is armored, ready for a fight, not held back by something as foolish as a conscience. Were they to come in contact with each other, the Flare would kill Newt without a second’s hesitation, and you will not allow that to happen.

Instead, you grab Newt by the hand and sprint in the other direction, pulling him towards a nearby stairwell. The fact that neither of you are in armor does give you the advantage of speed, and you and Newt hurdle headlong down the stairs as fast as you can. Newt leads you through a whirlwind of quick turns, doubling back a few times just to make sure nobody could follow you.

When you’re certain that the Flare is nowhere to be seen, you and Newt slow down at last. You’re met by Thomas and Minho by the entrance, both of them bent double and gasping for breath.

“What happened?” You ask, fighting the wave of relief that crashes over you at the sight of your friend.

Thomas leans back against the wall. “Found Minho, but nearly got myself locked up instead. Janson had me, I swear it, and he was ready to kill me. He left the room for a minute, but Ava Paige let me go. It sounds strange, but it’s true.”

Newt frowns in bewilderment. “Queen Ava? What would she do that for?”

Thomas shrugs. “Beats me. Maybe she had a brief glimpse of a conscience or something. Anyway, we’re all out, I sent Gally and Aris out ahead of us to track down Sonya and Harriet. They all seemed fine. How about you guys?”

You smile grimly. “Nearly got murdered by a sickeningly bad knight, but other than that, we’re all good. Shall we leave this place before our luck runs out?”

“Sounds great to me,” Minho says fervently, and the four of you head for the forest.

Luckily, you encounter no further resistance on your troop back through the city. As you reach the edge of Sherwood Forest, however, Newt’s footsteps start to slow. You look back at him, and realize that he’s stopped walking altogether. He stares up at the horizon, where the outline of the palace is just visible amongst the tops of the nearby cottages.

You walk back to him, signaling for Minho and Thomas to continue without you. “What’s wrong, Newt?”

Newt shakes his head slowly. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking about how glad I am to leave that place.”

You stare at him, a slow realization dawning upon you. “What does that mean?”

Newt glances back at you at last, smiling as brightly as the morning sun. “I think you know perfectly well what it means.”

“Spell it out just in case, why don’t you?” You say faintly, “I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing.”

“Very well,” Newt replies, “I’m leaving Nottingham for good. I hereby pledge myself to be one of the Merry Men, to fight by your side as long as we both shall live. How’s that for an explanation?”

You beam at him. “It sounds perfectly alright to me. You really mean it? You’re leaving your old life for good?”

Newt nods solemnly. “I want this life, Y/N. I have for a while. It feels more real than anything I ever had before. The only question is if you’ll have me.”

You get the feeling he’s asking a different thing than just if you’ll let him be one of the Merry Men. So, you nod, and answer his unspoken question by kissing him. It seems an excellent answer to both of you.

maze runner tag list: @rogueanschel, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @thatfangirl42, @hiya-its-amber, @gods-fools-heroes, @hope92100, @23victoria

requested by @thornyrose463, who also made this moodboard!

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merv606 · 5 months

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Not an ask but just an observation.

Your version of Terry/Daniel in Mercy (and really all of your fics 😂) reminds me so much of the dynamic between Maid Marian and the Sheriff of Nottingham in the Robin Hood (1991) movie.

No matter how much Marian fought and scratched him and burned him, Sheriff took it, didn’t even blink.

Near the end, when he’s forcing her to marry him, she looked at him and said “I will never marry you!” And spat in his face.

His mother, The Witch Mortianna, slaps Marian for this, and the Sheriff gets pissed off about that. He yells at her, ‘That’s my wife, Crone!’

So then, the Witch tells him, “she’s ripe. She will give you a son, you must take her now.”

He flat out refused and was offended at the suggestion, “I will NOT ‘take her’ until we are properly wed! For once in my life I will have something pure!”

And during his (thankfully failed) attempt to take her, he puts a pillow under her head.

As twisted as it was, the Sheriff was in love with Marian. She was not a common whore, she was a Lady that deserved to be treated as such and with the utmost respect.

And this is completely and totally Terry when it comes to Daniel. Here Daniel is (understandably) trying to scratch his eyes out, and Terry is being as gentle as possible (until he’s not), while calling him pet names… promising him the moon (a promise he can actually deliver on)…

And what’s more is the Sheriff had gifted Marian a dagger to protect herself from the uprise in “robbery against the Nobles.” The dagger, she gives to Robin. Robin would use that to kill the Sheriff. As he was dying, he recognized the dagger that Robin used to stab him, and he gave this heartbroken look to Marian. He wasn’t angry with her, he was heartbroken.

That too, makes me think, that if Daniel actually kills Terry (also justifiable, IMHO), Terry wouldn’t be angry with him. He’d be heartbroken at their separation. And heartbroken at Daniel’s inevitable guilt. I feel like he would comfort Daniel while he was dying, and would tell him, “I’m not angry, sweetheart. It’s okay. Baby, please, don’t cry.”

But yeah, feel like there’s definitely a parallel.

Kind of the vibe I’m going for.

Terry loves him - what he thinks is love - his definition of it.

He genuinely wants Daniel to be happy (with him).

Terry wants - needs - Daniel to want him which is partly an ego thing (nothing less than Daniel begging for it, crying out in pleasure will do. He has a fantasy to satiate).

He may slip up from time to time, but, he never blames Daniel when he acts out (even if he does blame him for the aftermath).

But that’s because he can’t reconcile this love he has and hurting the thing he loves.

It always has to be someone else’s fault.

#i got an ask 🤩#ask #karate kid #terry silver #silverusso #daniel larusso #silverrusso #mercy is a sharp knife

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fourleafclovxr · 1 year

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anadil, hester, and dot! for the ask game

Headcanon A: realistic

anadil: i think i first read this in one of ren's fics? but anadil is so incredibly royalty-coded. i think she's the kind of person who's like, rejecting the path that was set out for her. so that's why she's willing to be a sidekick, she's not looking for glory and being known, she could have that as a princess. she just wants to be her own person.

hester: she's not really pure evil. her evil was something she worked for, learning spells and potions etc etc, and not something she was naturally born with. i like the idea of her working to be better than her mother (hansel and gretel's witch), i think it's touched on in tlea?

dot: her power actually reaches way further than she thinks. like, she could turn someone's blood into hot chocolate kind of power. but she doesn't know because she's dot, she never wanted to hurt anyone, so she never tried. i just like the idea of her being more powerful than everyone else!

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

anadil: went on a date with / tried dating beatrix once (and actually had fun) (and pissed hester off so much she asked anadil out instead)

hester: gets love letters from all the evers who think her goth vibe is hot (it is!) she gives the sweets and flowers and stuff to dot, and the letters themselves to anadil to deface and send back.

dot: not sure if this is funny :[ but i like the idea of her having an advice column (like aunt agony). i think it could be funny if the right person wrote it, unfortunately i am not that person sjdkfsh

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

anadil: watched her grandmother (the witch who got killed in that barrel) (who probably raised her. i imagine anadil as an orphan) die, and became withdrawn and quiet because of it. she was basically an outcast until she went to SGE and joined the coven.

hester: not sure on the Details but i imagine she went through some pretty terrible things to get her demon. like got Magical Surgery to get it intertwined with her soul and sat through getting the actual tattoo- at what? age twelve? younger than that? like, she was so motivated to have power and to keep herself safe (also as an orphan, since her mother died probably when she was young) that she was willing to go through excruciating pain and make all those sacrifices. ouch.

dot: developed her food powers as a coping mechanism- having chocolate as one of the only happy parts of her childhood, maybe her dad (the sheriff of nottingham and an asshole) gave her chocolate when he was proud of her? and she just internalised that because after a while her father didn't care enough to give her chocolate. she had to make her own.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

anadil: she has a good fashion sense! she's sleek and trendy and professional! she even dresses hester up sometimes

hester: she's trans baby! (this is unrealistic because of soman's terrible, terrible ideas about gender)

dot: i like to think she and kiko get together. idk i think nice girls deserve to be happy with other nice girls.

#ask game #sge #hester #anadil of bloodbrook #dot of nottingham #thanks for the ask! turns out i had more thoughts about the coven than i thought i did

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r-rook-studio · 1 year

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The Week 1 #City23 Update: Nottingham and Cape Crescent

So I started this project over on Cohost, but I'm going to switch to posting my public updates here on Tumblr.

Around the time I kicked off work on this, I saw this semi-viral Tweet, and while it might be half joking, it's pretty spot on for what I want to do in #City23.

Cape Crescent, ME

A paranormal investigation originally called Lunaris, I swapped that out for something that sounded more like New England. I don't make my own maps and I'm not going to start, so I'm making a fictional reinterpretation of Ogunquit, ME for this.

During planning, I'd set up a few factions, and a few concentrated areas (as well as doom clocks, which I'll be setting up later), including a benevolent society that organizes the town's werewolf, a local sinister occult society, a private paranormal research foundation with government grants, and a Tourism Board that represents the non-paranormal people of the town.

During this first week, I focused on locations and the NPCs in them that would—at first glance—be part of the Tourism Board, but I made sure each one had at least one tie in to some other faction.

Bishop's Diner, where Olivia Bishop, the owner, is wary of of the Ghost Bay Research Foundation and it's projects in the bay, and the short-order cook Carson Caine, is the estranged son of the necromancer who runs the occult society.

Clifftop Motor Lodge, where the owner, a friendly recluse who rarely comes into town, is secretly funneling supplies to one of Ghost Bay Foundation's projects.

Old Main General Supply, a grocery, hardware, and gas station where the owner Micah Redding runs the Benevolent Society for the local werewolves. His son Clay, one of the wolves, is friends with Carson Caine, and they often commit petty crimes together.

Nottingham

For Sherwood and games with a similar OSRish vibe, Nottingham is a chance for the outlaw band to come out of the woods and into the town. I pulled factions and locations from historical Nottingham, including the Whitefriars (Nottingham's old Carmelite friary), Lenton Priory (the French Cluniac monastery that actually sent monks to engage in banditry), the Sheriff (a royal appointee who lived in the King's Nottingham castle), and St. Mary's Church. As I go, I'd like to come up with some guilds or other lower-powered secular/street-level authorities to represent groups of typical citizens. During this first week of #City23, I focused on an inn within the walls: The Three Foxes, an inn whose owners need to realize it's a nexus of the tunnels and caves of underground Nottingham.

Most of this week was adding NPCs:

Claire Jarry, the owner, who came to Nottingham from Rouen for reasons she won't discuss. She knows how to navigate the tunnels under the inn to make her way to the Priory and the large parish church of St. Mary, and uses her access to blackmail the clergy.

Clove Jarry, Claire's oldest son, who transitioned and left town to become a highwayman. Clove and his wives frequently visit the inn when they come to Nottingham via a secret tunnel that leads under the town's walls to a forgotten smuggler's cave in the wood. Clove's mother and brothers know about the tunnel.

Ronan Jarry, Claire's middle son and likely heir.

Vital Jarry, Claire's youngest, is a seductive con artist and crook who's found a tunnel that leads to the cellars of Nottingham Castle, and is planning to steal from the sheriff even if it brings the sheriff's wrath down on other criminals and outlaws.

In addition, there's a customer, Colman, who's a sturdy man who can drink most others under the table. A generous sort, he often escorts people home after they've had too much, but no one's noticed yet that some of those people have yet to be seen again.

I've also started documenting some treasures.

Ronan possesses an amulet whose central stone is made from a hard, amber-like resin that contains the souls stolen and trapped by the cruel Bishop of Hereford. He entrusted the amulet to his mistress who surrendered it to Clove. The bishop's mistress has gone into hiding and both she and the bishop want the amulet back.

Colman possesses an "amulet"—really a poorly painted image of an unnamed saint on a simple leather thong. If the saint's image is fed enough of a living person's blood, it will keep a dying person alive indefinitely.

(Sorry, there are enough +1 arrows in RPGs and Robin Hood deserves better.)

Making Progress and Giving Myself Room

In the first nine days of 2023, I've gotten 5 entries for Nottingham and 6 for Cape Crescent. That's not too bad. It's been a rough start to 2023, and some of the health issues my parents are facing are making it look like it'll keep being stressful. Working on #City23 has been, in many ways, a lifesaver, though I'm giving myself space to take breaks as I need to.

#city23 #dungeon23 #ttrpg #tabletop rpgs #tabletop roleplaying

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the-fangirl-diaries · 1 year

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132 Thoughts I Had While Watching: The School For Good and Evil (2022)

Jesper, what are you doing here, and why is there two of you?

And where is your accent?

One of you is evil and one is goo - oh, the title makes sense now.

“I prefer chaos.” I mean we all love a bit, buddy, but you’re going too far.

And bad guy fell off a cliff and died a tragic death, the end.

Look at this ballroom.

CATE BLANCHETT IS THE NARRATOR? I LOVE THIS ALREADY.

Hey, it’s Lydia from Beetlejuice!

That cottage is so pretty, I wanna live there so bad.

Agatha makes me feel so much more confident with my Merida hair.

She has a cat named Reaper, and lives by a graveyard? That’s adorable.

“Hey, Ugly.” Dude, have you looked in a mirror?

Deville’s? Like Cruella Deville?

I love how people can call this girl a witch while she pets a baby goat.

It’s spelt Deuville? Why does that look prettier?

Wait, Cinderella exists in this universe?

“It’s a place that cannot be found, except by those who know where it is.”

“I want much more than this provincial life,” ~ Sophie, definitely.

You’re going out into the woods late at night? Are you crazy?!

Yep, girl is delulu. (That’s apparently a word now.)

That bird kinda gives me Alice in Wonderland vibes.

Wait, they got the schools mixed up? Princess and the Pauper, anyone?

How To Lose a Girl in Five Seconds: Tell her her hair looks like cake.

So this is basically Descendants?

“It’s cleaner than my own hand, trust me.” ~ an actual quote.

Okay, but why does the Never school look cooler?

The Groom Room? Oh, I get it you groom yourself to look pretty.

AHH, THEY’RE PLAYING SLEEPING BEAUTY MUSIC!!!!!

You know, I don’t blame Agatha, some clothes can be itchy.

I thought Hort would be Diaval’s son. Not Captain Hook’s.

If you don’t know who that is, go watch Maleficent, please.

Sword and dance routine? Get it? Instead of song and -- nevermind.

“The brave prince charming approaches!” ~ Sophie, maybe

Actually, he’s King Arthur’s son.

Yep, this is basically Descendants.

Fire for the fire god.

Agatha, you need some confidence.

Laurence Fishburne? I swear you’re EVERYWHERE.

“Cool, I get a whole room to myself.” ~ Agatha, maybe.

We even have the daughter of the Sheriff of Nottingham??

Agatha, you should have known the statues would come to life.

Wait, I thought Evil Jesper was dead?

Oh, it’s some weird hallucination thingy.

There’s evil and there’s threatening to drop someone from a building.

Learn to tell the difference.

Find the school master and plead their case, yup sounds SUPER easy.

“You know we can hear you narrating, you weirdo!” ~ An actual quote.

The narrator is a pen?

True love’s kiss can break the spell.

I LOVE THE SONGS IN THIS!!!

There’s an ugly class and beauty class?

You fail if no one asks you to the ball? Guess that counts me out.

Hold on, is that Michelle Yeoh? THIS CAST IS AWESOME!

Gregor Charming is kinda cute.

Poor guy is queasy around blood? I mean.... same.

Why’s Sophie’s vanity kind of annoying?

There’re people living in the trees!

See? Tedros loves to hear her talk about cats?

Did he say “open the effing door?” or am I going crazy.

Gregor, you need a dash of good luck.

Gnome humour is funny, guys, admit it!

Gregor, NO!!!!!!!!!!! You were the only character I liked in this movie.

Hort grew one chest hair in magic class. Good for you, buddy.

HOLY -- THIS GIRL CAN MAKE HER DRAGON TATTOO COME ALIVE!

IT’S ACTUALLY COMING OUT OF HER SHOULDER!

Girl is wacko!

Oh, but Evil Jesper comes in surrounded by bees to save the day.

“Sophie, you’re not allowed to kill anyone until after graduation.”

Bees are my greatest fear, so uh, I’d be outta there in ten milleseconds.

This centuries old guy is weirdly into Sophie and I’m not sure I like that.

Wish Fish? It sounds cool, but I don’t trust it for some reason.

I kinda want the mean girls to fail. I know that’s not nice, but.....

Agatha wishes for hope and a person comes out of the lake?

It’s because of a girl that all the wishes are granted?

IT’S GREGOR, EVERYONE! HE’S THE BIRD -- AND HE’S DEAD.

Professor, she just saw her friend die, that’s what’s wrong with her!

Bad professor cut Sophie’s hair? I mean, not the worst that could happen.

Girl, calm down. At least you aren’t dead.

Rafal, dude, you gotta chill, friend. (Yeah, that’s Evil Jesper’s name)

She wants to kiss Tedros, but I think he likes Agatha.

Gonna admit, that dip was smooth.

A finger glow? A finger prick? LIKE SLEEPING BEAUTY!

Looks like it hurts. I’ll skip, thanks.

Sophie looks good with the glow up not gonna lie

YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN!?

GUYS, GO LISTEN TO THIS SOUNDTRACK RIGHT NOW!

Sophie, Tedros is Aggie’s man. You’ve got golden retriever boy.

DARK HAIR, WHITE SHIRT, BLACK PANTS? THE DEADLY COMBO!

Aggie used her power to help her friend. She deserves better.

Everybody Loves Tedros, except for the other Nevers.

An Ever and a Never together? OH, THE HORROR!

Hold on, why are they all mad? Wouldn’t this unite the schools?

Never heard of a trial by tail before, or is it tale?

The trial begins at sundown instead of midnight? Nice switch.

Sending them into the forbidden forest? M’kay.

DO NOT THE FLOWERS!

“With the power of the finger glow, I save you!” ~ Tedros, maybe.

Is that a mace-wielding pumpkin-headed grim reaper?

The princess is going to save the prince? Interesting twist!

Pumpkin man just exploded. That’s gonna be messy!

Agatha saved them and this is the thanks she gets?

Agatha is the only one with any sense around here.

She wrote Sophie a letter, too. :’(

PLEASE TELL ME RAFAL DOESN’T KISS SOPHIE!

He’s centuries old and she’s seventeen at the oldest.

Rafal and the Evil Professor were a thing?

Agatha is the most devoted friend in the world.

I turned my back for one second and Sophie’s a witch???

Honey, we’ve all experienced heartbreak, but this is too much.

The Never Ball looks cool, to be honest.

I’m sorry, Sophie, I can’t take you seriously right now.

Okay, she changed back, but now she’s crazy.

You attacked them first.

A COVER OF TOXIC DURING A BATTLE SCENE??

Have I mentioned this soundtrack is freaking epic?!

This is the best scene in the whole movie.

Since when does Sophie have shape-shifting powers?

LAURENCE FISHBURN IS RAFAL?

Oh, he just shapeshifted into him after murdering him.

That’s where you’re wrong, my guy. I’m chaos!

Wait, he kissed Sophie?? I should have seen it coming but...

“My love?” Dude, what? SHE’S LIKE.... Seventeen, right??

AGATHA’S HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!

I TURNED AWAY FOR FIVE MINUTES AND SOPHIE’S INJURED.

THEY SAID THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!!

TRUE LOVE’S KISS.

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU ARE!!!!

THE PROFESSORS ARE SO IN LOVE AND I’M HERE FOR IT!

Tedros and Aggie are separating??? Nooooo!

Well at least she and Sophie will be together.

It says they’re siblings in the book. DARN IT!!!!!

THERE ARE GONNA BE MORE MOVIES, THOUGH!!!

Staying for the ending credits visual and songs.

#the school for good and evil #I've been wanting to cross it off my list for AGES #this was super fun #sophie x agatha #I shipped the main girls so bad #that battle scene though

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atwistedtalehq · 11 months

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CHARACTER INFORMATION:

**CHARACTER NAME:** Robin Hood/Robin of Locksley

**CHARACTER FACECLAIM:** Tom Ellis

**CHARACTER AGE/DOB (if from enchanted forest, general age okay):** October 14th, 35(?)

**CHARACTER PRONOUNS/GENDER IDENTITY/SEXUALITY ETC:** he/him, cismale, very bisexual,

**CHARACTER FANDOM:** once upon a time

**OC OR CANON:** Canon

**WHICH LAND ARE THEY FROM (examples: earth, enchanted forest, wonderland, monsterland [frankenstein, dracula, vamps etc], neverland):** Enchanted forest

**CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY:**

- Robin started off as a communist petty thief because why should rich people get to have all the fun while the rest of us are dying?

- Tinkerbell tried playing Cupid to hook up him and Regina because they were true loves but Regina hates poor people so she didn’t pursue him :/. They have vibes tho

- Years later he tried stealing a horse from a farmer only to be threatened by Marian. He was turned on by this so they got married.

- He got wifed up and opens a tavern. The Sheriff of Nottingham doubled his taxes because rich people are greedy. The whole arch with Rumpelstiltskin happens and then he is glamoured to be hidden from the dark one. He decides he goes back to thieving but only stealing from the rich and giving to the poor #communist.

- He is stealing and everything but Marian gets sick. So he tries to steal a magic wand to cure her from Rumple who is now the beast but gets caught :/. Him and belle have a moment and she frees him and finds out why he was stealing in the first place. They capture him again and they agree to let him go

- Marian dies after his son is born :/.

- Changing canon a wee bit and saying he was in storybrook but was a barkeeper with a questionable past.

OOC INFORMATION:

MUN NAME/ALIAS: Az

MUN AGE: 27

MUN PRONOUNS: he/himbo

#robin hood app #accepted

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the-phony-king-of-england · 2 years

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On request of @sp00kies, here are some hand-picked headcannons from my 5+ page Robin Hood themed google doc :)

Mostly the villains because obviously

Sir Hiss was esteemed and skilled in combat before being hired by the royal family, now he’s just soft and comfortable and kinda prudish from being pampered

The Sheriff of Nottingham started a rumour that Hiss would eat children who don’t pay their taxes

Prince John can play the lute. I have no evidence suggesting that he’d be musically talented in any way shape or form but it seems fitting for some reason

Sir Hiss has secret fangs

Hiss is older than John, who grew up with Robin and Marian

Hiss is also a witch. Once again I have no proof for this at all besides the hypnosis scene but like come on

Prince John likes dancing but is absolutely atrocious at it

Hiss’ favourite colour is purple but he wears red and blue to match his outfit with Prince John

John simultaneously hates germs and hates baths so he’s just perpetually uncomfortable

All of John’s clothes are so big on him cos they’re hand-me-downs from Richard, he insists that he’ll grow into them and refuses to get smaller clothes tailored. He recons they make him look bigger and more intimidating but oh how wrong he is

Hiss scared the ever-loving shit outta John once by forgetting to dispose of a shed and PJ refused to speak to him for a week

Thank you @ever-green-art for reminding my dumb ass that I promised to post this lmaoo

#ik this isn't 5 pages but I picked some of my favourites #some of these are so niche and specific 😭#idk y'all they make sense in my mind #based on absolutely no in-film evidence just the vibes I get #robin hood #prince john #sir hiss #sheriff of nottingham #maid marian #just chatting

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years

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Temperance: Hide The Wine - Sheriff of Nottingham (Robin Hood 2018)

Author’s Note: Requested By Anon! Thank you for the request dearest Anon, and bless you! 😘💜 I hope you enjoy! Carly Pearce - Hide the Wine ~ this song literally came to me in the middle of the night where I woke up with the song stuck in my head and thought “OH! that’s much better than the one I’ve chosen!”, It’s a lot more light hearted which I feel fits what I’m going for here...

Disclaimer: No characters from Robin Hood are miiiine / Otto Bathurt’s crazy Robin Hood world is also not mine / lyrics & gifs as ever not mine! Premise: Upon receiving an invitation to a party in Nottingham you vow to yourself that this time, this time you won’t drink and you won’t end up in bed with the Sheriff... Words: 4460 Warnings: Sexual Amble (it’s not quite smut)

______ I heard you were back in town Oh well, it's been a hot minute since me and you were hanging out Yeah, we had that crazy kind of chemistry Where you get burned, don't learn, don't care Just reach for another match and gasoline

Better hide the wine, and get it gone Oh I better hide every one of them records that turn me on Turn up the lights, and kill the mood 'Cause baby I just don't trust myself with you I better hide the wine

Well I know me and I know you... Oh oh with one sip, one tip, we'll be sitting on the couch You'll be kicking off your shoes Oh knock-knock, here you come a-knockin' on my door But you're gonna have to wait another minute on the porch Oh no, no, it's a dangerous thing Pouring alcohol on an old flame ---

noun

Abstinence from alcoholic drink.

Temperance is defined as moderation or voluntary self-restraint. It is typically described in terms of what an individual voluntarily refrains from doing.

You knew the game. How many times had you played it? Too many. But this time, this time, you swore not to get dragged into it. You wouldn’t play. No matter how hard he tried to get you to. No matter how much you wanted to. And you always wanted to. But it went around and around. Ever since you’d been much younger. Ever since he’d caught your eye, and you his, around Foundling House. Before he got a fancy title; and attire to go with it. When he was young and angry, and would sneak you to the roof with the best bottle of wine he could find, and he’d yell to let of steam. He’d yell for the sake of yelling… like he did now. Except back them he didn’t have the authority to make that yelling go anywhere. Now he did. When the yelling was over, and the bottle was finished, you’d both sneak elsewhere. And that’s what you always looked forward to. He grew up and moved on. Sort of. He was older than you and could do such things. Still surrounded by so much he hated, sometimes he would return to where you grew up. To where you knew him back when he had a name, not a title. And that was dangerous. Because he would always carry with him a good bottle of wine. One thing would always lead to another and the next thing you were aware of there were clothes all over the floor, and you were back to the familiarity of the warmth and scent of his body. The sounds he made. The sounds you made – but only for him. You longed for that as much as he did. But that was all it was. On and off, and on and off again. Never serious; you were sure neither of you wanted anything serious as it was. But that didn’t stop you thinking you could move on. And it didn’t stop him from coming after you. On rare occasions, very rare occasions, you would be called to him. To Nottingham. And it just so happened that when a rider and invitation appeared at your door; you were called again. This was worse. At lavish parties that the Sheriff hosted you couldn’t escape alcohol and you couldn’t escape him. And it was alcohol, wasn’t it? That made you unable to resist each other. Because it never seemed to start with anything else. Sure, you didn’t have to attend. But that would be rude. You liked to remind him who he really was. Of the company he used to keep (that you bet he wished he still could keep). To alleviate the boredom. Especially on his side; what did he do all day anyway? This time though you had vowed, no drinking… You wouldn’t goad him, or tease him, or hell, even want him. You would take it like two friends catching up. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to hold on. But holding on to him for your entire life? You were fairly certain that at some point you should realise that this was all it was going to be. He’d be married eventually; you were surprised the Church hadn’t coerced him into that yet… and you had met someone else. But, that also wasn’t serious. Trouble was, you had a feeling that this one could be something, could develop into something, that whatever you had with the Sheriff was not… So you accepted the invite. And when the time came you made your way to Nottingham. And this time you were nearly intent on avoiding him entirely. If not for any reason other than to torture him yourself.

*** Your dress flowed gently behind you, off-shoulder and low cut, pulling in at the waist you knew exactly what you were doing by wearing this. There wasn’t any point wearing anything inconspicuous anyway, he’d still find you. In which case you might as well flaunt it; show him what he couldn’t have. Or what you were intent on denying him. If you could. Avoiding him wasn’t as hard as you’d imagined. This dress and the way you’d dressed up tonight drew people to you. Those who didn’t know you wanted to find out exactly who you were. Those that did clearly wanted to talk to you for other reasons… What was certainly unusual for you, was every drink you were offered you refused. There was nothing better than being offered or bought a drink. Especially from charming young men who might well make the Sheriff jealous. But then he’d cut in, obviously scare the other man off, you’d both be drinking and one thing would lead to another, meaning you’d wake up in his bed again. So there was absolutely no way a drop of alcohol was passing your lips. Having said that, you weren’t actively trying to avoid him; you actually wanted to make eye contact and tease him, but also make sure he got nowhere near you. Having said that it wasn’t hard; everyone always wanted to be all over the Sheriff – female or otherwise. And for a multitude of reasons. But the only one he wanted to be all over, or to be all over him was you. And tonight you weren’t playing. He’d seen you – oh, of course he had, how could he not? – wandering this party looking flawless… But he hadn’t been able to escape the usual crowd, or the Lords, yet. He wanted to escape this as quickly as possible and go over to you. But every conversation he dismissed had him falling right into another. And it was frustrating because he so desperately wanted you. Of course he invited you as a friend, but, that wasn’t what you really were. And when he’d received your acceptable note back, the Sheriff knew exactly why you’d come. For exactly the same reason he wanted you here. Because he craved that intimacy. To talk to someone who would hold him close, and listen, and understand, and run their fingers through his hair. No judgement, no opinion (at least not one that would oppose his. Usually you saw his viewpoint completely… Or calmed him down.), no strings. He could love on you as much as he wanted, and it would never be anything more than that.

** Eventually of course he caught you, so you had no choice by to converse with him; “Would you like some wine?” “Uh, no. I don’t think so.” “That’s very unusual for you… Let me get you something…” He snapped his fingers to beckon a waiter over “NO. No, trust me… I won’t be drinking a drop.” “Well, we can’t all be expected to follow suit, can we? Come on, I’ll have something, you should toast…” “Toast what?!” You looked around you, “A successful party? I can do that without alcohol.” You weren’t sure you liked the small smirk on his face; “Oh? Can you really? What are you worried about; I’ve seen you when you’re very, very far gone before – what happened? When did you get boring on me?” “…I’m well aware of what you’ve seen when I’ve been drinking…” “OHHHH – Is that what you’re worried about…” He pulled himself in closer to you; “Like that isn’t the reason you came here…” “Its-” “In that dress…?” The Sheriff’s voice was dark and husky, and you thought you might need a real drink to still everything. “…Huh, Y/N…” You couldn’t hold his eyes, no way, but that made your eyes focus on his chest; all the toning underneath all that wool and leather. You swallowed hard, and he noticed “That’s it… Don’t deny it…” You took a breath, and somehow with it came the courage to face those cold blue eyes. Not cold to you, but everyone else; and they were darker now. And you knew why when you could feel him this close to you. You loved watching them change like that; maybe this time around you’d missed your chance; “I’m not confirming or denying anything… But I’m certainly not drinking.” “Surely you won’t object to me drinking…?” “No.” Although you did, if this was going to work you’d prefer not to have him basically hanging all over you due to the amount he’d drunk. Because you were still supposed to be making sure what you both wanted didn’t happen. But, mmmmhn… The scent of him, the heat you could feel that you so desperately wanted to be wrapped up in now you were here… He wasn’t touching you, but God, you knew it would feel so good if he did. Instead his hands were behind him, keeping his back straight. You had to bite your lip to stop the small moan escaping your lips at the thought of leaving scratches there… He could see it on your face, and that made him bend towards you; “Come on… Y/N… Tell me why you’re here…” It was weird, for him to be here, this close and talking like this and no one seeming to pay any attention. Because they sure had been paying a lot of attention to the both of you separately. Had he told them to leave him alone, had he told them to leave you both alone? You shook your head, because if you opened your mouth he’d know you were an outright liar – or worse, the truth would spill. But that only made his smirk broaden and then he did pull you into him, and you gasped. “Tell me.” “You know…” “Of course I know…” he kept that voice at a steady almost-growl “…I want to hear you say it.” “NO.” “Why not?” “Never!” Suddenly pulling you to him wasn’t enough, he had to touch your skin, taste your lips. Have you in any way that you would have him. So you found his lips on yours. And your hands on his coat didn’t push him away; but pull him in. But this was wrong; so wrong. It was exactly what you couldn’t allow yourself to have. What you didn’t want… But damn you wanted it so bad. You could taste the wine on his lips, and realised that your promise of no alcohol was quickly being thrown out of the window. Eventually you came to your senses enough to push him back; this was wildly inappropriate in the public eye. What the HELL was he doing?! “Control yourself!” Now your voice was at a growl and your eyes were fierce “We’re not sneaking around at Foundling House anymore…!!” “No we aren’t, my darling… But we could still do a lot of sneaking…” He raised his eyebrows as if to make a point, just in case you weren’t getting it. You let him go and took a few steps backwards; “Sneaking…?” and you finally smiled “I’d like to see you do any sneaking any more… Sheriff…” But now you’d had your first taste, your first sip and you craved more. But if he got to kissing you here, you’d be at the bar, you’d drink... it’d get messy... If you got to kissing elsewhere... Hold on, Y/N, kissing shouldn’t even come into this... the whole point was not to be caught up in him tonight. But then the Sheriff had a point; why did you come? if not to get tangled up with him, literally. Nottingham wasn’t your style, so it made very little sense for you to want to come here for any other reason. Parties where alright but also not your scene so... he was your only reason. And you could tease him all you liked, but what you should have expected was retaliation; him to tease you back or him to really go for it. And he did, no mercy... You kept your eyes trained on him and his on you as you hurried to the hall doors. You turned, one last glance. The choice was his. He followed you and you both got what you wanted, or he didn’t and you left knowing you’d done what you’d prescribed to yourself as the right thing. Did you even know what the right thing was? One last look to determine if he was brave enough and you slipped through the door. Of course he was. It would be stupid to think otherwise. And you weren’t far down the corridor you were making your way down before you heard footsteps. But that just made you walk faster... Suddenly the second echo stopped and you paused, when it didn’t pick up again you turned. The corridor was empty. You took one step forward, puzzled. Was it even him you had heard? Who else would it be? But if so where did they go?! They weren’t walking up the other hallway, you could see this corridor stretch ahead of you. And you hadn’t heard a door open, although there was one almost adjacent to the one you had walked through. You became unnerved to realise that the sound you could hear was your own breathing, and your heart beating in your ears. You almost sounded scared; unless it was exhilaration? You continued watching the corridor, intrigued and listened out for anything that could possibly signal that anyone else was around. Sheriff of Nottingham or otherwise. In one swift movement from your left your question was answered, although in the dim lighting you couldn’t see exactly who had grabbed you; it caught you off guard, but your attempt to shriek was stifled by a hand clamped firmly over your mouth as you were dragged across the corridor. Your back came into contact with a stone colonnade and you protested again at the way it pressed up against your back.

You came face to face with those blue eyes - now shining silver in the light that made its way in

“If you wanted me alone why didn’t you just say so-!?” He hissed, removing his hand from your mouth you didn’t have time to retaliate before he replaced it with his lips. And once again you were met with the sweet intoxication of alcohol. Ugh, give me my Sin again He tangled his fingers in your hair and didn’t show any signs of stopping the kiss. Well, now you knew exactly where you were you didn’t feel like stopping it either. And your hands ran fervently from his chest to his neck; pulling him ever closer so that his body pressed up against yours again. He broke the kiss for respite, but not from you, and you could have killed him. “To be honest this has not gone according to plan!” “Oh?” Instead he kissed your cheek and down to your jaw line “And why is that? Don’t tell me you don’t want me!?” “N-no...” Although your protest sounded more like a whine of delight “...just like I don’t want any alcohol...” “Ah... I see...” His lips found your neck and his head pushed yours to gain exposure. And now your fingers ran into his hair and you tipped your head back for him. Ugh! I hate you! I hate you! You’d been doing this so long he knew your body like his. And what you really liked never changed much in all those years. “You’re attempt to abstain was a valiant effort...” The Sheriff whispered against your skin “...But sometimes we just have to give in to what we want most...” You didn’t have enough fight left in you to retort with Oh? And that’s you is it?! “Well, if it has to be one or the other-”

You gasped as he lifted you from the ground; back still up against the colonnade his hands slipped under your dress to grip your thighs as his lips found yours again. Some resistance Y/N... well, if you weren’t going to resist you might as well join in and not miss out. Your hands found the clasps on his jacket and afterwards the fastenings on his shirt with ease. This was almost second nature. You wrapped your legs around him to another growl that reverberated (delightfully) through your body. You almost smirked into the kiss as his hands travelled further across your skin; pulling you further into him - but this time accompanied by the slightly harsh grind of his hips into yours. You had to break the kiss, you had no choice but to moan his name at that. Damn! He chuckled “Always the same...” “You best not be complaining...” your voice was pitchy and breathless, you didn’t just want him now, you needed him. “On the contrary...” His fingers slipped into your underwear and your moan was louder now. “Mmm...” the hum was satisfied; “I thought so...” This time you almost glared at him, but it didn’t last long. I HATE you!! Why did he make you feel this good? Why did he always make you feel this good?!?

He continued to touch you exactly where you needed him to, and pleasure became elation. You were conscious of the party still; so even though it was loud in there you continued to stifle your moans. He wasn’t exactly happy about that, but you knew how to keep your mouth shut - you’d had to do it enough in similar situations - meaning no amount of grinding or growling from him was going to make you any louder. And that was a good thing; because the next thing you knew the doors swung open and light flooded your private little corridor. He dropped you instantly and pulled you around the colonnade. But the absence of his fingers made you whine louder than you’d been doing under his touch. You noticed how he still pressed his body into yours as you inched around the stone structure. A bunch of giggling, likely drunk, partygoers hanging off each other seemed to bicker with each other just outside the doors. You looked to each other with raised eyebrows as if that hadn’t ever been you once - and as the same thought crossed your mind you tried not to giggle like children yourselves, to no avail. You peered around the corner again “guess you still do need to sneak around Sheriff...” “Hush...” He nudged you gently, and pulled you back just a touch to make sure you weren’t spotted. “Leave...” He murmured it to himself, but his hot breath caressed your skin and nearly made you shiver as you watched them slowly make their way across the hall; nearly screaming with laughter as they stumbled over one another. “Leave...” his voice was a little more impatient as they once again stopped and began searching around for something. He sighed, and the pull of his body from yours made you turn to him; “Hmm?” His eyes traced your lips momentarily and the Sheriff smiled before he kissed them “I have a feeling if we continue here, we won’t remain uninterrupted for long...” You knew what that kiss meant; “Tell me what you had in mind?” He took your hand in his; “Come with me - I know just the room...”

You thought he might mean just a quiet room somewhere, as everyone was preoccupied, so many rooms would be empty for the entire night and possibly the majority of the morning too. But no. His room. that’s what he meant. And suddenly this was too personal and too intimate, and you should have been walking out of there, no alcohol in your system and no love from him. But you didn’t care. You weren’t drunk, but you were drunk on the way he made you feel. The door was barely closed, let alone locked and he was on you. Hands tangled back in your hair; he wasted no time in pushing you back towards his bed. Pulling you head back to once again expose your neck to him, his other hand left your hair to pull your dress down your arms and body. No, he really wasn’t attempting to waste time. Maybe he thought you’d change your mind. You couldn’t trust yourself, and you should have known that the second the invite came through. You should have torn it up and forgot about him, but you didn’t. You never had, you never did, you never could. So your hands found your dress too and helped him, almost impatiently, undress you. He released you for a minute, eyebrow raised; “I thought you weren’t doing this?” “OH SHUT UP!” His smirk accompanied his laugh, and he shrugged himself out of grey leather and wool – helping you with the fastenings of his black undershirt; “Why did I bother with the damn party?” “I think you were certainly thinking alcohol…” You let him throw his shirt to the floor and attempt to pull his feet from his boots as you undid his pants; “No, no, wait – that’s not going to-” “Hush!” He nudged you back and kicked both off – but there wasn’t even enough time to stare at each other for a moment and get lot in it. No romance lost here… He grabbed you back into his arms and you both hit the bed; a passionate tangle of limbs and hot, breathless kisses. He was perfect… Every inch of him perfect. Although you couldn’t be sure at this point you were really registering him – given that you were absorbed in kisses – rather than anything else; that all seemed to be entirely subconscious… The Sheriff was flawless… the sex was flawless… His vibrant blue eyes both glittering and sinfully dark… A mixture leaving you lost for words before you’d even started…

You couldn’t even describe how and what you felt. There was so much ‘pleasure’ that it was almost an out of body experience; you’d done this so many times and yet…this time left you wondering if this was actually happening… It was both too hot and yet cool; and completely sober you realised that you both seemed to fit together perfectly – his pale skin gliding smoothly over yours, creating fire at every point of contact. His kisses were deliciously hot, hungrier and yet still holding the gentle temperament that he always tried to keep with you… How did he manage to keep control? You’d lose it if it wasn’t for him; but then again, you had lost it because of him…

That lustful tangle of limbs, an embrace; just a series of short kisses and even shorter breaths. His eyes were perfectly dark, passionate and they slowly became your point of focus… You tangled your hands through his neat grey hair as he ran his lips over yours again… It was more than perfection… More than any excitement you’d ever experienced… More than bliss… There were no words anymore to describe the way this made you feel… HE made you feel…

His hand crept slowly down you left arm – although now calm… it still made your skin tingle as he whispered incoherent sentences in your ear. When his hand found yours you instinctively laced your fingers with his and kissed him again…You weren’t sure, and couldn’t be certain. Far too tired, and half way to sleep before the words passed your lips, but if you were to whisper anything to him then… Whatever you said…Not incoherently… Just purely honest… Too tired to remember and probably to care what kind of feelings were thus spilled from your lips, you just hoped that you had let him know how much he meant to you…

***

When you awoke to sunlight and his steady breathing you knew you’d made a mistake. You covered your face with your hands and let out a gentle groan. “Damn…” Staying wasn’t the problem, sleeping with him wasn’t the problem. Breaking a promise to yourself? You were just a little disappointed. You shifted your gaze to him, still sleeping but holding you strong in his arms and sighed in content; only a little… You gently brushed strands of his hair from his face and wriggled your body to nuzzle into his chest. As you might expect, the next thing you heard was the rumble of his laugh building there, and then running across your skin. His fingers danced across your shoulders as he caressed you, and you felt his lips against your forehead. “You stayed…” “You think I had a choice?” “…I would expect as such that you would leave.” “Are you kicking me out of your bed, Sheriff…?” Your enquiry was met with a huff; “No. I’m just used to your long string of babbled regret…” “Ah, well, usually I’ve been drinking and basically regret everything…” You sighed “Oh, I really did it this time.” “…How so?” He pulled slightly away from you so that he could gaze at you properly; tilting your chin so that your eyes met his “…I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.” “Oh, am I that unsatisfactory?” “NO!” You protested, disliking his slightly hurt pout, “No…” you took his hand in yours “…In myself… every time this happens we’re drinking and I…” you paused for a minute, and your face lit up in realisation; “But I DIDN’T DRINK!” “No, and how with all those people, I have no idea. I need your tolerance…!” You tilted your head with a smile; “Well, now I’m proud of myself. I did one thing right…” “Just the one?” You pushed the Sheriff’s arm at his cheeky smile “If I can keep half a promise, then that’s half a promise more than I expected…” But you’d realised something else; “…But… I always thought this happened because of the wine… Maybe that’s not…” you hesitated, biting your lip “…The issue.” “I fail to see any issue with this.” He kissed your face again, and continued to afford you butterfly kisses as you attempted to get an explanation out; “It’s unsustainable…!!” “Then stay…” His voice was soft, but that wasn’t what shocked you. “…Stay here, to be with me.” On receiving no response his eyes met yours again; “…Was that not a good suggestion?” Your eyes were wide; and for once there was something in them he didn’t recognise. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you scared before. You swallowed, blinking your fear away; “I- I can’t.” “Why?” He pulled you closer, as if you were about to scurry out of bed and leave him here alone “Well I… I don’t even really like Nottingham.” You took a deep breath and bit your lip again, this time leading into a smirk; “But---! I do think you could persuade me…” As expected, the Sheriff caught your wave length immediately, and caught your smirk with a teasing one of his own – leaving a chaste kiss on your lips before rolling you over; “...Oh, I think I know how...”

--- Thank You For Requesting!! 😘😘😘 Damn are we at 5 and 5! These have been so much fun to write!! 😊 @dennismitchell @krnncsbtch @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad.

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