#Second I wonder how many people googled that word and went 'ew'

[tswwwit]

And here's Bill vs Bill, aka the Pinnacle of Billmei vs Billge's Faceoff, part three. Not the finale, but that's coming very soon!

I am now going to go lie down and take a nap.

-------------------

“You’re not gonna get what you want,” Bill says.  

“Thanks.” Dipper had guessed that part five minutes ago. He rubs at the bridge of his nose. “Really great to know.”

He stares across the bare dirt in front of him. The sigils are scrawled on with a stick - he didn’t have anything else on hand - and he wasn’t expecting company. 

Company he’s currently trying to ignore. 

“I had to say something! You’re terrible at this.” From the side of the clearing, Bill snorts. “You need all the help you can get.”

Commentary from Bill never fails to be unhelpful. For the first time in a while, Dipper finds himself genuinely, unflirtingly irritated by it. Tension has been building in his shoulders for the last day and a half and they’re starting to ache. 

Bill Cipher lounges on a stump nearby. Seated in a way that couldn’t possibly be comfortable for a normal human, but has the appropriate level of drama for a demon. 

He’s spent most of the last half-hour mocking Dipper’s futile scribblings in the dirt. An unwelcome interloper, in multiple senses.

Ditching this Bill to go experiment in the forest has been a total loss. All Bills are smart, and for all that this one knew so little about their situation - still doesn’t - he’s somehow latched onto being able to locate Dipper, easy as anything.

“Do you mind?” Dipper reels on him.

“Often, as you know!” Bill shrugs that off with a grin. “C’mon, you need me for this!” He adds a slow, unsubtle wink. “Besides, all our other stuff worked out!”

Dipper makes a disgusted sound, and hears Bill start to chuckle.

The one good thing about interacting with demons? Is that Dipper doesn’t have to pretend to be nice.

Even though Bill doesn’t have the entire picture, he’s clever, and he can make inferences. All of Dipper’s reactions have shown him that this human’s not servile. It’s just enough to accept it as par for the course.

He knows that Dipper knows he’s a demon - but not that Dipper knows about demons, and how they do… stuff. As far as this Bill’s aware, the non-flirtatious insults are just how they interact. That Dipper, of course, wouldn’t know that some other ones have… implications.

There’s no reason they would be flirty, anyway. He thinks they’re just - 

Buddies.

God, Dipper hopes his Bill won’t learn about that part. It adds another layer to the joke, and not one that works in Dipper’s favor. 

Dipper breathes in, then out. Trying to relax, though his back and shoulders aren’t cooperating. 

He looks back at the interdimensional asshole and asks. “Why are you here?”

“What, did you think I wouldn’t show up?” Bill rests a hand on his chest, a near-perfect picture of surprised innocence. “Like you’d get rid of me that easy..”

Dipper tries not to grit his teeth. He stomps deliberately on the ground as he turns away.

“C’mon,” Bill’s voice is coy and almost cloyingly sweet, in a way that makes Dipper want to spit. “All this dimensional stuff you’re looking at. All that curiosity,” A tinge of something else enters his tone. There’s a soft pat, probably in his lap. “I got all the knowledge, right here! Why not enjoy it?”

Dipper picks up the stupid stick he was using to draw his stupid improvised signs into the dirt. He scrapes down a few more, simply out of spite.

He looks like a six-year old playing at being a magician, not a real one - but it’s better than letting Bill win.

For the second time ever, Dipper Pines has the dubious honor of being the focus of a Bill Cipher’s intense interest. 

It’s mostly because of his world-conquering plots, of course. Somewhat because Bill’s learned that this dimension comes with… extras, he guesses. Not that he’s getting any use of them. And partly because…

Okay, Dipper’s not sure what the rest is, but Other Bill has a way of leading down tangents that Dipper would, in any other instance, pursue. He’s had to not argue a surprising number of times. 

Dipper won’t let this guy drag him into some coquettish debate over…. leyline geometry, or anything else. Even if it’s tempting. Dipper’s dug in his metaphorical heels, because being led down that road can’t end well.

Maybe Dipper’s home dimension has something in the air, or… ether or whatever. An ephemeral thing that turns a Bill extra weird, because this doesn’t seem like it’s ‘universal’. 

The alternative would be that this is kind of multiversal, and that would mean -

Dipper grimaces.

Demons are dangerous. Bill’s the worst of them. 

Luck…. wouldn’t always run in Dipper’s favor, he thinks.

For the sake of his remaining sanity, he’s decided not to think too hard about it. 

“If you want results, you should be working with my information, not whatever crapshoot you have going on in your noggin.” Bill adds, rather pointedly pointing to the papers he tossed on the ground. They’re spread out in a loose pile, even when he could have neatly stacked them. “Take my word for it!”

Dipper doesn’t have a good response. He shrugs instead. 

The wind blows gently through the clearing, and Bill makes a face as some of the pages get caught. He raises an eyebrow. Jerks his head towards them, with a smirk.

And fuck that. 

There’s no way Dipper’s going to rifle through that mess, much less chase after it. He has some dignity, and this Bill would just love watching him scrabble through the dirt for scraps of information. Dipper refuses to entertain him. Hell, he wouldn’t do that even for his own Bill. 

And second - 

That information is absolutely, 100%, a poison pill. A trick. 

A little over thirty years ago, Bill Cipher - a Bill Cipher - nearly led Stanford Pines into ruining an entire dimension. The only reason he got caught was because Ford, in pure academic diligence - noticed something very, very subtly out of place.

Ford might be oblivious to personal interactions - but he’s downright incredible when it comes to scholarship. Even then Bill nearly tricked him into a cascade failure of literally disastrous proportions.

So yeah, Dipper’s smart. And maybe he is getting pretty okay at the dimensional stuff. But he’s barely getting into this field.

He knows way better than to think any Pines is going to get that lucky, twice. 

It’s pretty clear he’s already used up his own. 

Behind him, Dipper hears Bill starting to ramble on about something. This time with a tinge of annoyance in his tone. 

Out of the corner of his eye Dipper can see the pages caught on some bushes. Wherever the rest are, he doesn’t care anymore.

And in front of him, Dipper sees his own futile scribblings leading… precisely nowhere. 

No matter how perfectly the circle is drawn, or how his sigil handwriting is second to nobody’s, it’s basically as good as Ford’s -

He just… 

Doesn’t know what he’s doing. 

The only person who really, truly knows exactly what to do is out of reach.

There’s a copy around, sure. Right down to the intelligence, personality, and name. Even the face is downright familiar, though the expressions it wears are strange.

Dipper swallows. His mouth feels dry. 

There’s so much information to learn, infinite piles of it, offered up on a silver platter.

And none that he can trust. 

“What’s with the face?” Bill sounds cheerful, though Dipper can hear the tension behind it. Other Bill isn’t getting his way, and it’s annoying him. “Frustrated? Struggling?” He claps a hand on Dipper’s shoulder, and his voice turns that syrup-smooth tone that Dipper hates - “Between you and me, we could-”

“No world-conquering.” Dipper shrugs away from the touch on his shoulder. That’s it. He’s done. “Ever.”

“Whoa, whoa, who said anything about that? I-”

“Save it for the suckers, Bill.” Dipper turns on him, backing up a step - but not far. “I never bought it in the first place.”

Other Bill looks at him with… mild confusion. But that’s only what shows on his face. By the way his head tilts, and his shoulders set - Dipper can tell he’s thinking, fast. 

This Bill knows he’s been caught at something - and he’s equally sure he can talk his way out of it.

Dipper can’t work his way around Bill’s magical trickery. Even if he could, that’d take years, maybe decades of study. And all the while, he’d have to be lucky enough to avoid the many, many landmines that Other Bill would place in his way.

That’s not going to happen. Probability isn’t on Dipper’s side, he’s never going to learn enough to stop whatever this demon is planning. 

But he does know Bill.

His thoughts. His motives. His emotions, too. Even when he tries to hide them, Dipper can almost always find out what he’s really feeling. This might be a different version, but Dipper still understands this creature right down to - 

Well, not his bones - the few Bill has are at best non-euclidean - but Dipper gets the majority of what’s underneath his exoskeleton.

So, fuck it. Last resort.

Dipper just… asks.

“Where is he?”

“Where’s who?” Other Bill cocks his head to one side. His face flickers into an expression of not-quite concern. “You’re-”

“No.” Dipper cuts through the air with his arm. Frustration is tight in his chest. “I said I’m done playing.”

“Yeesh, you’re testy today.” Other Bill taps his foot on the ground, shaking his head. “Figures, what with all the sleep you’re not having.”

And god, comments on that have always been annoying, even from Real Bill. 

“Nice try. Sure, you’re a Bill,” Dipper stomps forward. Jabbing a finger into Other Bill’s chest, and giving him his second-worst glare. “But you’re not my Bill. And I’m tired of pretending that you’ve,” He makes finger quotes. “‘Fooled’ me.”

Bill blinks at that, for a full two seconds. ”Who says I’m-”

“That won’t get either of us anywhere.” Dipper interrupts. He runs a hand through his hair. Being angry isn’t going to work, so he tamps it down. He has to make this convincing. “We should… get you back to your place.”

Other Bill watches Dipper for a long, lingering moment.Then he lets out a long, low whistle. Shaking his head again, he takes Dipper by the shoulders. “Aaand it’s naptime for Pine Tree!” Bill strides forward, pushing Dipper along. “Boy, have you been working too hard! All this dimension stuff has really gone to your head if you’re coming up with something that crazy.”

Now Dipper digs his literal heels into the ground - something Other Bill wasn’t expecting, apparently - and manages to tear himself out of Bill’s grip. He folds his arms over himself, backing up a few steps.

Bill huffs out a sigh. “Seriously?” 

“Yeah.” Dipper folds his arms over his chest. “Seriously.”

“C’mon, we’ve known each other for years!” Other Bill spreads his arms wide. Deep concern furrows his brow, his voice softens. “You’re overthinking, kid. Maybe all this study isn’t good for you.” He beckons towards himself. “Let’s just get you-”

Dipper scoffs. It comes out almost like a laugh. Other Bill straightens up, a brief flicker of annoyance on his face. 

Bill’s bullshit isn’t going to work. Not this time. Not on Dipper. 

“If you were my Bill, you would know better.” Dipper lifts his chin. “If you were my Bill, you wouldn’t suggest that, or act like that, or…” He shakes his head. Other Bill barely did any research, and now he’s surprised he’s fucking up? “You’re really bad at this.”

A muscle in Other Bill’s jaw twitches. The rest of his face maintains the same, gentle concern. “You’re making a mistake, kid.” He sounds too calm - “If you were sane, you’d-”

“Oh, I’m not.” Dipper jabs a thumb into his chest. Almost proudly. “That’s how I know.”

Hell, Dipper gave up total sanity a long time ago. Once he realized what he’d gotten into. Once he realized he liked it. 

 “Huh.” Curiosity, apparently, overrides a Bill’s need to keep up a ruse, because he’s starting to smirk. “Never let it be said I don’t like insanity!” He tilts his head. “Enlighten me!”

Welp. He asked for it.

The smart thing to do would be to play nice. To work with this Bill, as much as is possible - to be flattering, and convincing, and massage that ego until he did want to cooperate, instead of obfuscate. It could even be easy. 

But fuck this guy. 

“Okay, so we’ll forget how you’re fucking up basic rules of this dimension, your obvious lack of knowledge,” Dipper starts. He rolls a hand in the air, in the way Bill does when he’s lecturing, and watches Other Bill’s eye twitch. “And how your acting sucks-”

Other Bill folds his arms over his chest. He starts tapping his fingers, in a slow, rhythmic beat. “More proof that you’re delusional, but sure!” He shrugs. “Why not!”

“You might have pulled it off in another world, but there’s too many details in this one.” Dipper admits. This dimension is pretty weird, if you think about it.  He rubs the back of his neck, suddenly awkward. “We’re, uh…. Kinda out there.”

“A lotta suppostions, and zero facts.” Other Bill waves them away casually. “That’s hardly evidence.”

Dipper shrugs, almost casually.  “No,” He says, very slowly. “I guess it isn’t.” 

Other Bill starts to grin. 

And Dipper shoves his left hand right in front of this smug asshole’s face. His palm - and its mark - on full display.  “But this is.”

Other Bill violently recoils, letting out a sharp, startled swear in that strange language  -

Then instantly realizes he’s blown his cover. He grimaces, hissing something else vulgar. Other Bill rubs at his eye, ducking his head.

Holy symbols don’t affect Bill, but that threw him right the hell off. A minor victory at best - yet oh, is it sweet.

Dipper waggles his hand in Other Bill’s view, and watches him turn away in disgust. “Well?” 

Other Bill clapped a hand over his eye; now he draws it slowly down his face. “What. The hell. Is wrong with that guy? I thought the body was bad, but nah, that was just the beginning!” He shudders, shoulders rising. “There’s an entire conspiracy of awful.”

“Answer the question.” Dipper insists. The jig is up, the ruse is gone. Other Bill can’t lie his way out of this now.  “Where is he?”

“Eesh, put it away already.” Other BIll flaps a hand at him. After a moment, Dipper reluctantly lowers his arm, while Other Bill sticks out his tongue. “Trust me - if you knew what that mark really meant, you wouldn’t be champing at the bit trying to find the other guy.” This… asshole.

He thinks Bill never told Dipper - 

And okay, he didn’t, Stan had to point it out first - 

But it’s like he thinks Dipper’s an idiot. That he doesn’t know exactly what he signed up for. That nobody would ever want to be - 

Dipper takes a step forward, fists clenched tight by his sides. “Where’s my husband?”

Other Bill just. Looks at him. For a long moment, face blank and staring. 

After a while, he slowly shakes his head. “I dunno what kinda demiurge got their tendrils into this particular space-time weave,“ Other Bill says carefully. Almost consideringly. “But boy, do they have a sick sense of humor. It’s almost impressive!”

“Oh, I get it.” Dipper ignores the distraction and folds his arms. This will get to him. “You don’t actually know. Do you?”

“Ha ha, very funny. Of course I know! We’ve been talking theory for days and you still haven’t guessed?” Other Bill waves his arm over the forest, vaguely skyward. “You see any big magical storms going on? Or any nice convenient rifts? No! Not even one! Things are still,” He curls up his lip as he makes finger quotes. “‘In balance.’”

And that kinda tracks. With what Dipper knows. 

Passing into another dimension is difficult for a long, long list of reasons. At the core, it’s because they’re… mostly incompatible with each other. 

The very fabric of reality keeps the planes apart, and healthy. Literally a skin between realms, since having different rules in place is like having a separate immune system. They can’t mix unless something is already compatible - or unless something’s gone terribly wrong.

But. Theoretically. 

If you knew how. And if had the magical capital to pay the tolls - You could trade out an equal measure of mass, or magic. As long as it was similar enough, it might get overlooked.

And Bill Cipher’s a huge weight in the fabric of existence, simply out of sheer magical heft. Even if his realm is the Mindscape, he’s still linked to this dimension. If a nearby place suddenly had two Bills - or no Bills - there would be some major ripples in the fabric. Causing strange phenomena. Further anomalies.

But that didn’t happen. There was only one big surge, until everything sort of…. 

Evened out.

“So.” Dipper shuts his eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted. “He’s at your place.”

His Bill wasn’t randomly transported into the beyond. He hasn’t even gone all that far.

Somewhere out in the infinite multiverse - There was a triangular gap that he could slot right into. 

“I guess you’re not totally slow.” Other Bill grins. Weirdly, he sounds pleased. “Yeah, it’s the ol’ switcheroo. Usually a decent time!” He heaves a heavy, dramatic sigh. “But I guarantee that guy’s having a way better day than I am.”

One mystery solved. Bill’s location. Relatively nearby, as these things go - 

Dipper looks up, suddenly intent. “Bring him back.” 

Other Bill raises an eyebrow. 

“Just…” Dipper fumbles, he tries to wave vaguely in a dimension-adjacent direction, which ends up being everywhere. “I mean, we’ll reverse it, right? It-”

“Oh yeah? With what?” Other Bill snorts, and sets his hands on his hips. “I’m not sitting on infinite power and influence right now, kid.” He shrugs. “Even with that it takes a lot of finagling. No dice.”

Dipper leanis his head back. 

Shit.

“But there’s good news!” Bill sounds surprisingly cheerful, and Dipper glances over - “Ripping a hole between realms is a hell of a lot easier with a native. And I don’t qualify, on several counts.” He tilts his head thoughtfully, starting to smirk. “You could really come in handy.”

Dipper simply stares.

Double shit.

“Hey, you’ve already worked with a Bill. A real messed up one.” Other Bill makes a face, glancing at Dipper’s left hand. “You wanna dick with dimensions, then you got a way better opportunity, right here.”

Dipper breathes in, then out. Right.

He… kind of figured it would come to this.

“Go fuck yourself.” 

Other Bill gives him a surprised look. Dipper flips him off. 

He’s had a lot of bad ideas in his life, but this is clearly the worst deal he’s ever been offered.

“What?” Other Bill has almost mastered the innocent look. “Don’t you wanna see your dear hubby again?” He tuts softly, resting a hand on his chest. “Poor guy might even,” He hesitates. Dipper thinks he’s trying not to gag. “‘Miss’ you!”

“Nice try.” Dipper waves it off, ignoring the slight pang in his chest. Asshole. Manipulative jerk. “But I know you didn’t leave your dimension just to sightsee.”

Other Bill’s face sours. Possibly the first genuine expression Dipper’s seen; it weirdly makes him look more like the real Bill - 

“So. no.” Dipper looks away. Clearing his throat, once. “Not a chance.” He lifts his chin. “If you hate it here, that’s your problem.” 

This demon might not have enough leverage, or magic, in this realm to pull it off -  but he did say ‘Right now’.

Other Bill makes a low sound in his throat, so. Yeah, Dipper’s right. Again. 

For this to happen in the first place. This strange and bullshit switch - 

Someone had to start it.

“What was wrong with your place?” Dipper asks, because - okay, it’s dumb, but Bill loves talking. And hell, he’s always curious. “Too much competition?”

“Pfft, hardly! Kinda the opposite.” Other Bill flicks his fingers dismissively, then examines his nails. Starting to smile again, that ego bloating with pride.  “I did that dimension already, y’know? All conquering, no contest.” He shrugs. “Can’t blame a guy for wanting a little novelty.”

Greedy jerk. One wasn’t enough for him. A second, like he’s obviously trying for - Dipper rubs at his eyes.

How many is ever going to be enough? Will there ever be? If his world’s Bill Cipher seems messed up, it’s only because all of them are.

“I’m your only chance, Pine Tree.” Other Bill has mastered the convincing tone. It’s almost a shame he’s wasting it on the wrong person. “How about you-”

Dipper flips him off. Both hands this time.

With a huff, Other Bill folds his arms. “Fine. Be like that.” He turns slightly away, looking disgruntled. “You’re a stubborn little mortal.”

“I didn’t help my husband take over the world.” Dipper mimics his stance. Turning away a bit himself. “I’m not lifting a finger to help you.”

God, he’s exhausted.

And damn it, now he’s going to have to get Ford to help. It’s going to be ten times more difficult, and way slower. Half of that will be convincing him that yeah, actually, they should try to get Bill back. Throw in whatever this Bill pulls in the Mindscape, and Dipper can already tell this is going to be a huge pain.

“Y’know, if there’s any upside to all of this,” Other Bill starts, slow. Dipper feels himself tense. “It’s that the other guy might make a recovery.”

“I-” Dipper hesitates. 

This is a trick. Manipulation, Bill’s all about that - He grits his teeth. “There’s nothing wrong with him.”

“Oh, how cute. You’re fully delusional!” Other Bill’s tone turns syrup-sickly sweet. It makes Dipper grimace. “Guess other me pulled a great scam on ya! But I gotta tell you…” A slow, serious shake of the head. “He’s sick.”

That’s obviously not - 

True?

Dipper meets Bill's eye and finds nothing but smug sincerity. 

“Being back at my place will be great for him! All the power and influence and stuff you could ever want!” Other Bill spreads his arms at some invisible grandeur. “He’s spent too long in this body, being powerless. You think that’s good for a demon?” A raised eyebrow. “Even the slightest bit healthy?“

And… okay, Bill does spend a lot of time in reality - but he has the Mindscape - Dipper didn’t take that away, that - that has to - 

“No wonder he came down with something! Without other people to manipulate, he had to let it out somewhere!” Bill shakes his head pityingly. “In all this time, the only trick he managed to pull - “ The smirk turns mocking - “Was convincing himself he wanted you.” 

Sincere, still, though - maybe it’s just out of spite, that’s a major part of any Bill’s makeup - But. the way he says it - 

Dipper doesn’t know what to say, he tucks an arm over his stomach. 

For the first time in a while, he really, really wishes he knew less about Bills.

“Yep, I figure a few days of actual autonomy will get his angles straight.” Other Bill sets his fists on his hips, nodding to himself. “No gross body, no boring reality, and most of all - “ He snorts. “No ball and chain.” 

Dipper stands up straight, indignant. “I-”

“Sure, you’ve got an okay brain, I guess.” A sharp, dismissive wave. Dipper feels his face heat up - was he looking? “But your guy’s spent about forty-eight hours getting a taste of real freedom.” A shrug, fingers waving away some invisible stink from Dipper’s hand. “Trust me. He’s already wondering why that seemed like a good idea.”

“He wouldn’t.” Dipper stands firm. No, fuck that. The marriage was Bill’s idea in the first place. “He-”

Dipper stops himself before he says something stupid, shutting his mouth with a click.

He can’t talk about the… other part. 

That thing is true, too. Even though it sounds improbable. Impossible, in fact. It’s too weird, even for a Bill, and definitely too sane. No version of Bill should ever, or would ever do it. 

Other Bill will only think it’s bullshit, and mock him for thinking there was a chance.

Dipper lets his arm drop. His fists clench. 

He knows better.

“Oh, please. And people call me arrogant!” Other Bill stalks forward. “He's already forgotten you, kid. Think about it!"

Dipper doesn't back up - he won't give in, now or ever - but he holds back a flinch. Other Bill is right in his face, now. 

"What's better - Infinite power, freedom, and control over a slice of the multiverse -” He hisses. Teeth bared white in his smile. “Or one mouthy little brat.”

Dipper meets that single, strange, and glowing eye. Not backing up, even an inch. He watches Other Bill’s sneer turn into a glare. 

They’re so close that Dipper can feel the heat of that illusionary body, worn like an ill fitting suit by this… jackass. 

Who’s also a complete, absolute idiot.

“If your place was so great, you wouldn’t have ditched it.” Dipper states, watching Other Bill blink in surprise. Dipper sets his jaw. “So yeah. I think I know what he’d pick.”

No snappy response - Other Bill’s caught off his footing. 

For once, shoving a Bill with all his strength actually makes him back up a step. Dipper straightens his back, suddenly proud.  

“This universe already has a Bill Cipher. Yeah, maybe he hasn’t taken this plane over. Yet.” Or ever, but that’s a minor detail. “But he's a better actor. And smarter. And more vicious, and clever, and…” Saying all of this out loud feels strange. Sheer irritation carries Dipper onward, though he stumbles getting it out. “And funnier, and way cooler than you.”

Other Bill glares at him, but stays silent. The corner of his mouth twitches.

“In every way that counts, he’s better than you.”  He stabs a finger into Other Bill’s chest with each word, back tense and face hot with anger. Stepping forward even as a part of him recognizes this might not be great - “You’re just some dull-witted, myopic knockoff.” 

There’s a long silence. 

Dipper heaves out a breath, trying to calm down. This was. - He shakes his head, disgusted.

“Alright.” Bill nods slowly, almost thoughtful. He lifts his hands in the air with a simple shrug. “I see how it is.”

A  sudden crack sends Dipper reeling. 

He hits the bare ground on his side, breath forced out of his chest. 

When his vision comes back, Dipper stares numbly forward. 

He's on the ground? His left eye doesn't want to stay open, and - and strangely, his ear is ringing, and moments later the pain blooms in his cheek and jaw. Sharp and throbbing all at once -  a splitting headache follows it up a moment later, and Dipper groans. The light hurts his eyes - the one that’s cooperating anyway - so he shuts it.

There’s a muffled sound, and Dipper feels a hard impact on his side, a voice hissing, “-et up.”

This time Dipper rolls onto his back, breath escaping in a huff. Above him, BIll’s standing and smirking, one hand extended downward. Dipper reaches up to take it. 

And the crushing grip, tight around his wrist, sends pain down his arm and the sharp, sick reminder that. Oh. Right. 

This isn’t his Bill

“You,” Other BIll says, grip tightening - Dipper groans, teeth clenched - “Have been spoiled rotten.”

He hauls Dipper up. High up - 

Bill raises him until his feet barely skim the ground. Suspended like this, his whole arm aches, shoulder wrenched upwards -

“Funny thing, though.” Other Bill muses, cupping Dipper’s chin in his other palm. “Maybe I can’t  coax you-”  His thumb digs, hard, into Dipper’s cheek, and a burst of pain sends Dipper’s vision swimming again. “But one good swat and you’re way less mouthy!” 

Dipper can’t pull away, he can’t even find his feet. Grabbing Bill’s arm makes his grip tighten into something sickening, he thinks he feels a crack - kicking out only puts more tension on his already aching arm, twisting it in the socket. 

“Still feisty, huh?” Other Bill tuts softly. Then smirks. He tilts Dipper’s head back. “Now that I know how to handle ya, that's no big deal.”

Bill’s body is unnaturally strong, and he wasn’t pulling the blow. Through a kind of haze, Dipper’s faintly glad Bill went for a slap over a punch. He’s hurting, it’s hard to concentrate - but he doesn’t think his jaw is broken. 

More than anything, Dipper wants to glare, but he can’t lower his chin. He can’t tense his jaw to speak, either. Bill’s thumb burns into his cheek like a brand, a point of stabbing pressure.

“Aw, what’s the matter?” Other Bill shakes Dipper’s face roughly, like a dog worrying a bone. “Not got much to say anymore?”

“Ghnnn.” Not… much of a protest. Best he did was bare his teeth, and the throbbing in his head is twice as bad now - Dipper shuts his mouth before he can make a stupider sound.

Weirdly, this Bill starts grinning even harder.

“Boy, you got some fire in you, Pine Tree. And y’know what?” Bill tilts his head to one side. He chuckles, grinning wider. “I almost see why he didn’t try to snuff it out!”

Other Bill swings him lightly, side to side, before giving him a toss.

Dipper hits the ground again, hard. He props himself up, only to find one wrist won’t support his weight and swears. Sitting up turns from a simple move into an awkward scuffle.

The whole time, Other Bill watches him, with a smirk on his face. Like he’s admiring his work.

Frustration surges in Dipper’s chest. 

Pushing this guy into the Mindscape has moved from a ‘soon’ priority to a ‘now.’ 

There’ll be a chance. Once he stops being grabby. It has to be when he’s not holding on, or Dipper will get dragged along for the trip - and it’s not like things would get better after that.

Dipper takes a slow, shaking breath. “You’re not-”

Other Bill backhands Dipper with an idle smack. “Ah ah ah!” He wags a finger. “I’ve heard enough from you.”

Dipper’s elbow hits the ground, his vision swims. That slap wasn’t as hard as the previous, probably. Just in the same-ish place, resonating with pain like a bell. Normally he’d have a followup, but nothing comes to him.

Damn it, he’s been through fights, more than a few at this point - but this one is messing with him. 

“Despite everything, you could still be useful.” Bill says, low soothing. He kneels in front of Dipper, one elbow on his upraised knee. “Once I get this dimension under my thumb, it’s back to business!”

Dipper wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. It comes away streaked with red. 

“Work with me here! We could get the whole shebang started,” Other Bill continues, eye bright. “When I’m back in power, things are gonna be great.”

He holds out a hand. 

Dipper stares at it.

“Infinite power. No more bullshit rules.” Leaning in, Other Bill smiles, white and wild. “Help me out, and I’ll even be generous!” He waggles his fingers. “When I control reality - you can have anything you want.”

Dipper looks up at… this Bill. 

At a stranger, puppeting a familiar face. 

It’s a face that Dipper knows so well.

Knowing when it’s happy. When it’s upset. When it’s about to burst out laughing, or starting to sulk. When it’s a different monster behind that mask - when it doesn’t have that hidden contempt behind it - it’s even handsome. 

The distance between them is so close, and his husband’s still a million miles away. 

Other Bill makes a low sound in his throat. Maybe he saw something in Dipper’s own face, because he slowly rises up. 

“Anything,” Other Bills hisses out the words through gritted teeth. “Except that.”

Dipper grunts as Bill grabs him by his hair. He tries to jerk away, but he already has a headache, this just makes things worse.

“He’s outta here, kid. Vanished. Kaput!” Other Bill yanks him forward, and Dipper smacks a palm on the ground before the hold in his hair is the only thing supporting him. “He’s gone.” 

Though Other Bill turns his head upwards - Dipper shuts his eyes. 

“Face it, Pine Tree.” The low words ring in Dipper’s ear’s, and there’s hot breath on his face - “You’re stuck with me.”

Dipper’s been injured before - bruised, some burns, a broken bone - but it wasn’t like this. He knew Bill was strong, but it wasn’t supposed to hurt so bad. 

He feels his head get shaken again. The grip is too tight - Dipper’s eyes are stinging, and frustration burns so hot in his chest that it feels almost physical. 

The second this asshole lets go, he’s out of here. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, or how much Dipper has to work, he’s going to get rid of this jerk, and get his own jerk back. Even if it takes years. Even if it takes decades.

Anger surges inside him, and he struggles. When Dipper looks up at that horrible, smug laughter, he almost sees red in the corner of his eye.

Only…

Other Bill stops cackling. 

He glances over to Dipper’s right and quirks an eyebrow up. 

EIther that’s some complicated ruse, reading Dipper’s emotional state, maybe even what he’s seeing - 

Or - now Other Bill lets him drop, stalking away, eye narrowed - it’s not.

Dipper glances over, and his own eyebrows shoot up. 

Okay.

That's different.

Living in Gravity Falls shows you a lot of weird stuff, if you’re the kind of person who really wants to see it. Not many people get into the gritty details, or do a lot of research. 

Dipper and Ford are probably the only two people who ever really got into it, and Ford’s not here all that often. That leaves Dipper to be the resident Gravity Falls expert. 

This is one even he hasn’t seen before. 

The glow isn’t a figment of his imagination, it’s real.

Real, and weird.

There’s a long, bright eggshell-crack in the middle of the air, glowing in shades of  white-yellow… Something. That one color that Dipper has only seen in the Mindscape. The one Bill thinks is ‘pretty’. 

This thing is the source of the red light, radiating an eerie hellish aura, as the cracks start to grow and spread.

Judging by the way Other Bill looks at it, eye alight with pure avarice - rubbing his hands together, too - 

“Ha! Now there’s what I was looking for!” Other Bill strides forward, grinning wide.

Dipper grimaces.

Well. There’s his freaking ‘wound in the skin of reality’, apparently.

Just great.

 “A rift.” Other Bill purrs. He clenches his fist, grinning wide and triumphant. He starts laughing, loud and wild, lifting his arms -  “Finally, a good surprise!”

And around him, the earth shifts, and changes. 

Several rocks totter away on unsteady, newly-formed legs. A bird darts overhead and sprouts several more wings - and a the head of a deer - before it burst into flames with a squawk. 

Dipper feels his blood run cold.

Shit.

The skin of a dimension keeps its internal rules in place. When there’s a break in that, things get shifting, and strange, it isn’t meant to work like this. Just like Bill in the Mindscape - in a place where he isn’t restricted - 

When nothing enforces ‘you can’t’ - he has enough power to stand up and ask ‘why not?’

“It’s about time.” Other Bill’s laughter turns into a cackle. He stands in front of that new break in the universe, shoulders squared. “I can’t wait to get started!”

Proud, and full of his own power. 

All of it.

“Welp, guess I don’t need you anymore!” Other Bill shrugs, tilting his head with a coy grin. “Credit where it’s due - it wasn’t boring, Pine Tree!” He waves, and winks. “I’ll at least give ya that!”

Dipper watches as he paces forward - then pause. Other Bill lifts a finger in the air.

“But then again…” Other Bill hums for a moment. Dipper feels a tendril of dread seep into him.

Then Other Bill curls his finger towards himself, and Dipper gets dragged over the dirt by an invisible force.

“When it comes to you, eh.” Other Bill waggles a hand, and winks. “Maybe I’ll-”

The world goes ‘zmm’ for a moment with a taste of oranges, and a smell like earwax. The air wibbles like it’s under intense heat, only with a paisley pattern. 

Other Bill starts. He turns back towards the rift, somewhat surprised. "What."

And Dipper skids to a stop, bracing himself on the ground. He clutches at the bare dirt like it’s a lifeline, heart pounding in his chest. 

He can’t tell what’s going on. He doesn’t know what to do. But whatever’s stopping Other Bill from acting, he could practically kiss it, he’s so grateful. 

And a hand bursts out of the rift, cracking it further open. 

The motion sends not-real splinters of unreality shattering to the forest floor, bubbling up into nothingness. Dipper stares as it pats around for a moment, until it finds another part of the crack, and pushes. 

It’s a weird hand. A strange hand, black and formlessly weird. 

Instantly recognizable.

The hat pops out next. Then a top corner emerges, with a single eye shut as he strains. 

Other Bill smacks himself over the eye, muttering. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Dipper feels his heart surge, and he starts to smile. 

Bill Cipher always comes back. 

His Bill is there, Dipper can feel the bond bright inside him, like a light. Showing exactly who it is, and where he is, right down in his soul. Not distant anymore, not gone anywhere, Bill’s right there.

Bill swears, and shoves, and pushes against that interdimensional wound until his bottom angles follow him out, popping fully into reality -

And he instantly flops to the ground. Surface first, with a resonating ‘thud’. There’s some muffled swearing. Bill’s legs flail in the air. 

“Blegh.” Bill shakes himself. “Stupid friggin’-” He shoves himself up off the ground, muttering in a distinctly grumpy manner. “Lousy hack built the worst goddamn-” 

Other Bill coughs into his fist, turning away and looking distinctly uncomfortable. A bad look for one Bill must bruise both their egos. 

“Whoo! Now that was a trip,” Bill says, finally over himself. He starts dusting off his sides. He glances back at the rift, rolling in its socket. “Not as dramatic an entrance as I’d like, but eh,” He shrugs and floats in the air, lower eyelid lifted and arms raised. “Hey, Gravity Falls! Good to be back!” 

Doing the impossible is in Bill’s purview, and usually Dipper tries to figure it out. There’s always questions when it comes to his demon. Always the urge to make it seem reasonable.

This time, Dipper has no questions, at all. Bill can do whatever the hell he likes.

“And boy, lemme tell ya,” Bill continues, brushing his hat off. He plops it down to float over his top corner, fists resting on his sides. “You would not believe the day I’ve had.”

Other Bill clears his throat, and steps forward, halfway blocking Dipper’s view. The jerk. 

“Huh.” Bill folds his arms over himself, leaning forward, eye narrow. “You.”

“Well, well, well,” Other Bill says. There’s a smile on his face, with no humor behind it. “If it isn’t Bill! Nice to see ya!”

“Bill.” Bill floats closer, looking him over. His fingers drum on his other arm. “Real nice to meet ya.” A clear and blatant lie.

There’s a long, awkward silence. 

“So….” Other Bill trails off, clearly searching for a topic. Once he alights on one, he grins. “How was the vacation?” A wink. “ Thought you might need one, considering…” He waves over… everything. “Your place.”

“Oh, ‘vacation’, he says.” Bill makes the finger quotes, flaring bright gold. “Sure, I've had a good look around your digs.” He sets his fists on his sides. “And lemme tell ya, I was not impressed.”

Other Bill snorts - though his back straightens in offense “C’mon, it’s pre-conquered! Free reign over a whole plane!” He spreads his arms wide with a smile. “Compared to this craphole, what’s not to like?”

“Oh, of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” Bill smacks his top corner, low and sarcastic. “Except that taking things over is seventy percent of the fun!” Bill glows brighter, slightly tinged with red. “You plopped your pre-chewed gum of a dimension in my palm outta friggin’ nowhere!”

Other Bill draws himself up self-importantly. “Like what you’ve got is-”

“Ah, cram it. I didn’t come back for this.” Bill shoves him to one side, dismissive, and floats right past him. Other Bill stays upright, but his shoes leave a streak in the dirt. He sputters, indignant. Bill glares, pointing two fingers at him. “I’ll deal with you later.”

As that single, strange eye finally alights on him, Dipper scrambles to get to his feet.

He wants to see Bill again. He wants to grab this stupid triangle and shake him, and yell at him, try and crush those metal angles like a tin can in his arms, even though it’s impossible -

“Hey there, sapling!” Bill spreads his noodly black arms wide, lower eyelid raised, and glowing. “How’re you-”

Only when Dipper moves to prop himself onto his feet, he forgets about his wrist.

It fails within the first push - Dipper swears - and he thumps back down into the dirt.

Across the clearing, Bill’s slit pupil narrows to a thin line. His arms drop.

Great. Instead of leaping up, and being cool and dramatic, Dipper looked dumb.

He lets his head drop onto the ground. Even the rest of his face feels hot now. 

Shit, he should -

“Hm.” It’s a low, displeased sound. 

Then Dipper hears Other Bill speak up - 

“Oh no. No no no no, and no. C’mon, you’re smarter than this.” Other Bill sounds almost… scolding? “Believe it or not, I got an understanding of your particular damage.” His voice holds a sneer. “You gotta know how messed up you are!”

Okay, what?

Dipper rolls onto his side, pushing himself into a sitting position. He has to see this. 

His Bill’s gone fully red now. Growing, and - actually, he keeps growing, eye black and full of golden symbols. He cracks nonexistent knuckles. One hand, then the other.

“Oh come on! This is bullshit!” Other Bill looks up at him with disgust, head tilting back as Bill grows. Some confusion flickers over his face. He glances over, waves an arm at Dipper. “He’s just a-”

One enormous hand draws its index finger back, and flicks.

Watching Other Bill sail over - then through - some of the treeline makes Dipper feel the best he has in at least two days. 

By the distant, but loud cracking of branches - Dipper winces at a particularly loud one - That Bill… might not be out of commission. But it’ll be a long, long walk to get back to the rift he wanted.

“Welp!” Bill shrinks down again, brushing off his hands. Golden again, and bright. “That’s a problem for later.” He casts a glare at the arc Other Bill made through the branches, and sets his hands on his sides. “Jeez, what a prick.”

Bill floats over, and Dipper glances up at the irritated, eerie shape in front of him “As for you, kid. -”

Bill’s triangular form starts to wobble and shift. Weirdly bright, and oddly silent. Dipper shuts his eyes against the light. When he looks again, it’s at -

A recognizable face. With a bright grin on said face, charming and pleased. 

“Bet you’re glad to see a familiar look. Huh?” Bill - in a human shape, the one he’s always in - winks. “Get it?” He waits for a beat - then rolls his eye, and holds out an arm towards Dipper. “Alright, get up already.”

Dipper just…  stares at him for a moment. 

He did know Bill could shapeshift. Size and color and some varieties of geometry he’s seen, but he wasn’t aware it could be this… thorough. Though he supposes Bill hasn’t really had much reason; he’s not typically out of shape. 

Bill’s grin falls by a fraction. “Sure, don’t break out the party crackers and champagne or anything. Totally wasn’t a pain in the angles getting that mess sorted.” He jerks a thumb in the rift’s direction. He waits a bit, then pushes the smile back on his face. “Aw, you’re too stunned to react! C’mere!”

Dipper gets hauled up, Bill holding him under his arms. He shuts his eyes, and clenches his jaw tight. Bill’s grip isn’t hard - if anything it’s less so than usual -  but Dipper’s wrist really didn’t like being moved again.

“What, did you think I wouldn’t show up?” Bill’s grin widens. He’d probably be preening if he wasn’t holding Dipper up like he just won a carnival prize - though his gaze keeps darting over Dipper. “Like you’d get rid of me that easy.”

Dipper doesn’t have a response ready. He… should probably think of one.

Nothing comes to mind, though. Mostly there’s headache and faceache and just… ache, with relief and surprise fighting for the steering wheel. Wit’s so far in the backseat it might as well be in the trunk.

Bill’s grin continues falling by degrees; it falters. Glancing over Dipper, up and down, turning him slightly side to side

“C’mon, sapling, speak up.” Dipper gets jostled, just a quick couple bounces. Now Bill’s face is strange, and serious. He even pauses, and Dipper dimly realizes he hasn’t seen this expression before - “I hate it when you won’t talk.”

True enough. His Bill hates not getting a response, the attention hogging, narcissistic - 

Dipper breathes in, shakily, and sighs. He looks at his stupid demon, exasperated. “Put me down, Bill.”

The grin blooms again, even brighter this time. “Ha! I don’t think so!” Dipper watches Bill’s posture change as relief rises off him like steam. He pulls Dipper closer, pressing an overly-dramatic smooch on his jaw. “You already had your vacation from me, Pine Tree. I’ll do whatever I want!”

It’s ridiculous, and - and maybe a little sentimental, but Dipper feels heat rise to his face. Like warmth spreads out from where Bill’s touching him.

Dipper blinks rapidly, and clears his throat. “Let me down?” He tugs at Bill's arm, just gently.

“Alright, alright,” Bill, surprisingly, relents without much fight. He sets Dipper on his feet, smile fading somewhat. “Let’s have a look at ya, anyway.” 

“I’m fine.” Dipper lets his forehead drop against Bill’s shoulder. It’s solid and warm. Tension is dropping out of his shoulders, which is probably why they’re shaking. 

Dipper’s been in worse shape - and in better - but things are a hell of a lot finer than even three minutes ago. 

“Right,” Bill says, very dry. Dipper gets pushed slightly away, a knuckle tilts his chin upwards. “‘Cause this just screams fine, like a horrorshow!” Bill’s eye darts over his face - frowning now, lips drawn tight. “Where else did he get ya?”

Weird question. "Nothing serious.”  Dipper tries tucking his arm by his side, but that only makes Bill's face turn down more. “It’s cool.”

"It's only 'cool', for a guy who's lost all sense of thermoregulation." Bill tugs Dipper’s arm up by the elbow, glaring at his wrist. Admittedly, it is swelling a little. “You’re real crap at lying.”

Dipper watches as Bill taps a warm finger on the reddening skin, and sucks in a sharp breath. Bill’s lip twitches. He lets the arm down carefully, only to grasp Dipper’s sides. 

“Don’t bother covering stuff up, ‘cause for once I’m not messing with you.” Bill says, flat this time. "Own up to the rest, already." And at Dipper’s look of confusion - Bill tugs him closer, strangely serious. ”He wouldn’t have started with the face.”

Dipper swallows, and nods. 

Sure, he knows Bill -  but Bill definitely knows himself, so that’s. Deeply unnerving, on multiple levels.

But also, thankfully, wrong. 

Bill’s running his hands up and down, squeezing like he’s checking for a soft spot on some produce. Not finding much - though there’s a spot on Dipper’s ribs he hadn’t noticed himself. For some reason Bill’s only more insistent after that -

“Hey.” Dipper taps Bill on the cheek. He offers a half-smile, the best he can manage. It startles Bill enough that his inspection slows. “I missed you.”

Maybe Bill has a follow up to that. Maybe he’s going to insult, or - something, but fuck it, Dipper did miss him, and - 

He wraps his arms around his husband. One can’t join in properly, but Dipper thumps Bill between the shoulders, and hugs on tight.

Let him try to get away from this.

Possessive arms clamp around him in response. A comforting bear trap that Dipper intentionally set off, even if it isn’t nearly as squishing as usual. Like Bill isn’t certain how much to hold him, even though he’s had plenty of experience.

Dipper relaxes into it anyway. 

When Bill shapeshifted, he must have used the body template he’s used to wearing. Even now, Dipper can feel his heart, steady and comforting, beating somewhat faster than the usual second-and-a-half pace.

Then Bill sighs. “Well, whatever. You’re pretty intact! All limbs accounted for and everything!” A firm kiss gets planted on Dipper’s forehead. Then another on his temple, before Bill basically shoves Dipper’s face against his neck. Adding a couple thumps of his own on Dipper’s back. “Not too shabby, all things considered.”

Bill finally squeezes Dipper’s waist with one arm. His other hand cups the back of Dipper's head, fingers carding through Dipper’s hair, once, then twice.

Every time Bill wants to hug Dipper close, he throws in human-abnormal pressure. Not painful, just to one side of uncomfortable; like he’ll never, ever let Dipper escape his grasp.

Dipper matches it as well as he can. He kind of gets it now.

With the sounds of the forest, and Bill here, and holding him, it’s almost like things are normal. Quiet and still, while he feels the warmth of Bill's body his arms, and the bright red glow of the air - 

Dipper jerks his head up.

Staring at the still-extant crack in reality.

Thankfully it doesn’t seem to have grown since, but if he looks too close it kinda hurts his eyes. And part of his brain.

“Uh.” Dipper taps Bill a few times on the shoulder. There's a sigh against his scalp, as Bill hums something quietly. Dipper taps a little harder. “Bill?”

“What?” The word is slightly muffled by Dipper’s hair. 

Dipper nudges him. “Should I be worried about that?”

“Hm?” It takes Bill a moment - he tilts his head, following Dipper’s gaze - then smirks. He snorts, like Dipper pointed out a big scary bug in the bathroom. “Pfft, oh, that.” 

True to form, a ten-foot eggshell crack in the flesh of the universe doesn’t seem like a big deal to him. Dipper leans back and meets his eye skeptically.

“That’s barely a papercut, not a genuine fistula. Nothing important..” Bill waves over the rift, other arm staying tight on Dipper’s waist. “We got bigger fish to fry!”

Dipper hesitates. “Uh.” He darts a look at the rift, then back again. “Really?”

“Oh, definitely! That Bill and I have some unfinished business,” Bill’s eye glows red, and his grin shows an absurd amount of teeth. “We’ve gotta have a little chat.”

#Bill vs Bill #Okay now what to say in the tags #Without spoiling anything in the post hmmmm except okay there's a little violence guys #Okay first of all yes the thing gets further elaborated on in the next part #Second I wonder how many people googled that word and went 'ew' #And third this entire concept was so big brained because #While Bill would look at pretty much any other demon or monster or abomination and go 'eh he can handle it' #If there's one being in the multiverse Bill isn't going to underestimate it's himself #And Bill knows to the Exact Degree how nasty he can get #He had a whole two days to stew in that knowledge #With only the information that Dipper was still alive which is arguably not all that helpful #Dipper's usually got the runaway imagination but Bill's isn't any less powerful in terms of imagery and creativity #I've already started writing the fourth and final part and hopefully that'll go over well #Hopefully this part goes over well and you liked it! #Other/Weirdmaggedon Bill is not very happy about this turn of events as you can imagine #Things aren't just going to get nasty they're gonna get PERSONAL #Our Bill would shell out huge amounts of cash or favors to hear some of those things Dipper said #I hope you enjoy this silly fic and thank you for reading #Just one more part left though it'll be a big one! #I even have a fun epilogue idea that I may never get to but we'll see how things go

[sleepysnk]

welcome to team player! this is the prologue for my Eren fic! i hope you all enjoy. i worked really hard on this and i hope you all will tune in for this fic :).

Team Player: Prologue

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Eren being an ass

Word Count: 4.1k

Next Chapter | Masterlist

(Y/N) plopped down in a chair in her biology class. It was her first day of college, attending Trost University was one of her biggest accomplishments. She never thought she'd get accepted into such a big school, her parents were very proud of her. 

(Y/N) was a very smart student. In high school she managed to maintain a very high GPA, and a perfect report card. Her parents like to say the girl was a genius. Her passion to become a doctor motivated her to excel, causing her studies to be a number one priority. . 

Her eyes wandered up as she noticed other students arrive into the classroom. Many just sat down and put their heads down, or just went onto their phones. 

(Y/N) looked around the classroom at the Professor who was waiting for students to enter. 

The door opened and a brunette boy with short hair and green eyes, wearing the football jersey with the school’s logo, entered the classroom. He was with another guy who had lighter brown hair, he was a bit taller than the brunette, and his face was a bit long. The two seemed to be chatting with each other about something, as they were laughing as soon as they entered. 

The two boys sat down next to each other and kept talking. Realizing class hadn’t started, (Y/N) looked at her phone in boredom, the room still silent. 

"Good morning. I hope you all are having a great morning so far. I'd like to welcome you all to Biology, I hope we have a great semester together, my name is Professor Klein," he said and smiled at everyone. 

Many students stayed quiet and just stared at the Professor. The two boys in the class kept talking, which somewhat distracted (Y/N) from listening to the Professor. 

"May I ask for you both to be quiet? You're interrupting," Professor Klein said and crossed his arms at the two boys. 

The brunette looked over and nodded. "Sure.. my bad" he said and chuckled a bit. 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, she always disliked kids like that. Constant interruption, acting like they owned the class, etc. It bothered her a lot. 

"I'm going to start off with introducing something I do every year. You all are going to be doing a project, I know it's just the beginning, but this project will show me what you know. I'm going to pair you with someone in the class, I'd rather have you all get to know each other, and this is a great opportunity for that," he explained, picking up a piece of paper. 

Many groans came from the students, even (Y/N) let out one. She always resented working with people she didn't know, she didn't know anyone in this class either, which made her situation more difficult. 

As the professor began to call names for the project, (Y/N) zoned out as she waited for her name, heart racing in anticipation, wondering who her partner would be. 

"(Y/N) (L/N) and Eren Jaeger, raise your hands please," Professor Klein said and looked up. 

(Y/N) raised her hand and looked over at the brunette boy who sat with his friend. The one who was distracting the whole class. Great, just what she needed. 

She noticed his friend snicker a bit when he saw her, she rolled her eyes and looked back up front listening to the other students whose names were being called. 

"That should be it… anyone who has any questions about the project should ask me. This won't be a grade, but you should do your best. I expect you all to work together, please work equally on this. Presentations will be on Thursday," Professor Klein explained and leaned against his desk. "You may now move and sit with your partners," he added. 

(Y/N) stood up and grabbed her bag. She secretly knew that he wasn't going to move, so she just did it herself. 

She noticed his friend left and left a spot for her to sit next to him. (Y/N) looked at Eren who was on his phone laughing about something. He looked over and noticed her standing there

"You're my partner huh?" he asked.

She sat down next to him. "Yeah.. I am," she replied and avoided his gaze. 

Eren placed his phone down on the table. "So what are we doing? I wasn't paying attention," he asked and looked at her. 

She sighed and looked towards him. "It's just a project on basic Biology. It's on the packet" she said and looked at the pieces of paper. 

He looked down at the paper and rolled his eyes. "Oh.. ew, so uh.. is this done on Google Slides or something?" he asked. 

(Y/N) looked over at him again. "Yeah it is… I'll make it and share it with you," she replied and grabbed her laptop in her bag. 

Eren looked over at Jean who was on the other side of the room talking with his partner. He laughed a bit trying to get his attention. She bit down on her tongue from saying something, annoyed by his childish behavior to grab Jean’s attention. 

"What's your email?" she asked and looked over at Eren. 

He looked back at her. "Oh.. uh, here let me put it in" he replied and grabbed her laptop. 

She sighed and watched as he typed his email into her computer. She noticed how he kept looking over at Jean across the room, she just wanted this class to be over already. 

"Here," Eren said and pushed her laptop back to her. 

(Y/N) shared the slides with Eren and sort of sat there, he wasn't even talking with her, or even making an effort to discuss the project. She knew this was going to be a problem, as much as she wanted to stay back and tell the Professor to switch her partner, she didn't want to come off as 'that' student. 

She looked over at Eren. "Can you give me your number? We should do this outside of class too," she asked and nodded. 

Eren chuckled a bit. "Oh, you want my number? Alright… here," he said and smirked as he motioned for her phone. 

She handed her phone to him and watched as he entered his number into her phone. Within seconds Eren handed it back to her with a cocky smirk on his face. 

"I don't give many girls my number, so consider yourself lucky," he said and shrugged. 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and felt gross. Who would want to give a guy like that their number? She felt so grossed out by the situation. It made her cringe inside. 

"Where do you wanna meet up?" she asked. 

Eren looked on his phone. "Uh… I don't know. Your dorm or something? I have practice after classes, so we'll have to meet later," he replied. 

She nodded. "Okay.. just text me. I'll send you my dorm number," she said and looked at her laptop. 

He leaned back in his chair. "Alright, bet," he said and looked at Jean. 

"You're all dismissed! Have an amazing rest of your day," Professor Klein said and looked around at the students. 

(Y/N) put her stuff away and stood up. She watched Eren join with his friend, already out of the classroom. A wave of relief washed over her body when class ended, but she dreaded seeing him. She already disliked the brunette, and being his partner made things worse. 

-

Hours went by and (Y/N) was sitting on her bed in her dorm. She was expecting Eren to arrive soon, she silently prayed he didn't forget to meet with her. Considering how he didn't even pay attention to her, it could be a possibility. 

She sat on her laptop just staring at the project in front of her, Biology wasn't something she wanted to take since she already took it her freshman year of high school, but it was recommended. She wasn't sure why someone like Eren would be in a science class, he seemed more interested in sports rather than science crap. 

(Y/N) felt her phone vibrate, she grabbed her phone off the small table next to her bed. Her roommate was gone doing whatever, so she just kind of put her stuff there. She noticed the text from Eren. 

Eren: hey, uhhhh are we still linking? 

(Y/N): yeah? my dorm number is 403.

Eren: betttt, i'm omw rn. see u there ;)

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at the message. She felt a bit of relief that he still remembered to show up, she just wasn't sure how this was going to go. She hadn't hung out with a guy by herself in awhile. 

A knock came from the other side of the door, she sat up and walked over, Eren stood behind the door with his backpack. He was visibly sweating, he just came from practice. 

"Hey," Eren said. 

(Y/N) gave a small smile. "Hey.. come in" she replied and moved so he could enter. 

He looked around her dorm and placed his bag down. "Nice dorm.." he said and walked around. 

She shut the door and went to her side of the room. "Thanks.. um, you can sit here," she said and moved her things off the table near her bed. 

Eren looked on his phone and grabbed his bag, he sat down at her table and looked at her as she leaned back against the wall. 

"So uh.. I was thinking we could do the project a certain way" he said and took out his laptop. 

(Y/N) nodded. He had ideas? "How? What do you wanna do?" she asked and furrowed her brows. 

He leaned back in the chair. "Uh.. just do bullet points, it's much easier. It gets the information out," he replied and looked at her. 

She was displeased by his suggestion. Bullet points seemed too half assed, and she would rather not make a fool of herself in front of the teacher. 

"I don't know if we should do that, but let's just start with research," she said and looked down at her laptop. 

Eren furrowed his brows and just went back on his phone. (Y/N) looked at the packet for what was required for the project, it wasn't too hard. They could probably get it done within a day or two. 

(Y/N) looked up to see Eren just staring at her. Awkwardness rushed through her as she caught his eyes. 

"You're really pretty you know? I never knew pretty girls took Biology," he said and winked at her. 

She rolled her eyes and just looked down at her laptop. "Can we move on? Did you get the project?" she asked. 

Eren leaned back. "Yeah I did… but we have two days to do it. Don't rush princess," he replied and chuckled a bit. 

(Y/N) cringed as she heard that nickname come from his mouth. "Please don't call me that," she said in a serious tone. 

Eren looked at her and looked on his laptop. "Jeez.. I was just messing with you. Anyway, which slides are mine?" he asked and scrolled through the slideshow. 

She looked at him. "The one's with your initials are yours," she replied and ran a hand through her (h/c) hair. 

He nodded. "Oh… okay, shit I'm fucking stupid," he said and started laughing. 

Within the next hour, barely any progress was made. Eren’s antics began to annoy the girl, whether it be him sitting on his phone or calling her nicknames that she hated. His laziness with not working on his slides, began to light an anger in her. 

"That's funny as hell.. did you see this?" Eren asked and showed her a random video she had no care to see. 

(Y/N) looked at him. "Are you gonna do any work? That's why you're here, I don't know why you're just sitting here on your phone doing nothing," she said and crossed her arms. 

He seemed a bit surprised at her words. "Yeah I'll do something.. just relax," he said and grabbed his laptop.

She rolled her eyes. "You said that an hour ago, you realize if you don't do shit you aren't gonna get credit? That's on you, not me" she said.

Eren furrowed his brows. "Are you on your period or something? All you're doing is complaining. It's just a damn project, it isn't even worth a grade either. Judging off your slides too you're adding way too much information, just do it this way and that's it," he said. 

She scoffed. "My period? You sound so stupid right now. I rather work hard on this project to not fuck up my first year, and I'm adding information so it doesn't look half-assed like your idea" she replied. 

He rolled his eyes. "My idea is half-assed? My idea was better than yours! You're making it all extra," he said and started to raise his voice a little. 

(Y/N) had enough and stood up. "Get the fuck out." she said and pointed at the door. 

Eren looked up at her. "What? No, you asked me to help with the project so I'm here doing it," he replied. 

"I said.. get. the. fuck. out." she said. "I'm not gonna ask again! Leave." she added and pointed at the door again. 

He slammed his laptop and grabbed it, shoving it into his bag. "Fine, bye then" he said and walked out giving her the middle finger. 

(Y/N) slammed the door to her dorm, and sat back down on her bed. She rubbed her temples in frustration at what just happened, he really was an asshole. She absolutely hated guys like Eren, they act all cool and better than everyone else, but they're really just idiots who are actually stupid. 

She lied down on her bed and shut her laptop, she was too frustrated to even look at it. She silently prayed that Eren would just do his part, and get it over with. 

-

The next day Eren was in a horrible mood. Everything that happened the night before left him mad at (Y/N). He even ranted to his roommate Armin about it, claiming she was being a total "bitch" for no reason. Of course, his roommate just sat there and listened. Secretly knowing that it was kind of his fault. 

Eren came into Biology the next morning and saw (Y/N) sitting in her seat. She was on her phone, not seeming to be paying attention to anything. 

Jean sat in their usual spot. "Hey! You finally made it" he said and looked at him. 

Eren placed his stuff down and sighed. "I'm fucking tired… I should have just skipped, but Armin makes so much damn noise" he replied and looked on his phone. 

Jean nodded and leaned back in his chair. "How did it go with your partner yesterday? She gave you some of that?" he asked and winked. 

Eren looked over and scoffed. "No.. she was a total bitch though. She got pissed at me for not working.. then she got all mad and told me to leave her dorm," he replied. 

Jean furrowed his brows and looked over at (Y/N), she was still on her phone. "Damn.. you know.. you should get back at her for that," he said and smirked. 

He seemed genuinely confused on what he meant. Eren was always in for messing with people, like the time during summer camp he stole the towels, and Reiner had to walk out butt-naked in the hallway. 

"How?" Eren asked intrigued by what Jean had to say. 

He chuckled. "Fuck up the project, embarrass the fuck out of her. She seems to be a really smart student, plus it wouldn't even fuck up your grade. Just do it, it would be so funny" Jean explained. 

Eren felt a devilish smirk grow onto his face. "Say less… don't say anything though. I'm gonna act like I'm doing shit, then change it later tonight," he said and laughed a bit. 

Jean laughed and tapped his arm. "I'll keep quiet," he said and looked towards the front as the Professor began to speak. 

"I hope you all had an amazing day yesterday. I know being in University is scary, but I believe you all will get comfortable soon. Your projects are due tomorrow, and presentations will begin tomorrow as well, make use of your time! I can't wait to see them, you may move with your partners," Professor Klein said and smiled. 

Jean stood up and winked at Eren as he went to sit with his own partner. His eyes wandered to (Y/N) who was still sitting in her spot. He figured she was still mad about yesterday, so he decided to just go sit next to her. 

He came in her spot and plopped his stuff on the ground. "Hey," he said and looked at her. 

(Y/N) didn't respond and just stared at her laptop, she was typing in the slideshow. "Hello?" Eren asked and snapped his fingers in her face.

She tapped her Airpod and removed it. "Huh? What do you want?" she asked and furrowed her brows. 

He sighed. "I'm here to work with you..? At least let me do my part, my bad about yesterday," he said and looked at her. 

(Y/N) shrugged and looked back at her laptop. "Just finish your part and get it over with… I just want this project to be done," she replied and put her Airpod back in. 

Eren looked at the slideshow and tried his best to make his work similar to (Y/N)'s, it would at least put her at ease. He'd wait until midnight to mess it up, he figured he'd put some kind of meme to play, and that would do it. 

The class time seemed to fly by and Professor Klein dismissed everyone for the day. 

"You actually did some good work today," (Y/N) said and looked at Eren as she packed up her things. 

He chuckled. "Thank you… you should have believed in me," he said and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "See you later" he added and exited the classroom. 

(Y/N) felt at ease knowing that the project was going smoothly, maybe something clicked in his brain. She walked out of the class not knowing what was about to go down tomorrow. 

-

Time seemed to fly by all day, Eren had just gotten back from practice all day. His muscles felt tired from the workouts and running he had to do, that's mainly why Eren was at Trost. 

As a wide receiver, he was offered a scholarship in his senior year of highschool. The coaches at his school believed that he was at a level of greatness, and was well liked by his teammates. As a great athlete, he was able to lead his team to playoff victories and a championship title. No one has their doubts, as his number one goal was to play at the professional level. 

"How was practice?" Armin asked as Eren entered the room almost sweaty. 

He sighed. "It was fine… our first game is in a few weeks and I'm excited." he replied and smiled a bit. 

The blonde nodded and looked down at his laptop. "Did things ever work out with that girl from yesterday?" he asked. 

Eren felt a smirk grow onto his face. "Yeah! Yeah it did… things are fine," he replied and laughed a bit. 

Armin shrugged and went back to his own work, not worrying about whatever Eren was going to do. 

Within a few hours, it was midnight. Armin was fast asleep in his own bed, while Eren was up looking at the project. (Y/N) was last active in it about 2 hours ago, so it was perfect timing for him to change things up his way. Eren cracked his knuckles and began working on everything, he changed the long paragraphs to shorter sentences and bullet points. Adding his own pictures and finally the video. 

It was a random meme video he found and pasted the link onto the document. He snickered and laughed as he saved it all, this was going to be quite the surprise for the class and (Y/N) tomorrow. 

-

Morning soon came upon both Eren and (Y/N). Eren dreaded getting out of bed, and so did (Y/N). 

She walked into the Biology classroom yawning, she noticed Eren was actually in class earlier than usual. He usually came in about one or two minutes before class started, she just shrugged it off and went to her spot. 

Eren noticed her enter and felt a smile come to his face thinking about what was about to go down. He planned to volunteer first, and that's when things would go down his way. 

Jean entered the class and came over next to Eren. "Yo," he said and shook up with him. 

Eren nodded. "What's up? Did you finish your project?" he asked. 

Jean leaned back in his chair. "Yup… she got it done. What about you? Did you actually fuck with it?" he asked and looked towards Eren. 

He chuckled. "You bet I did.. she has no idea either," he replied and looked at his phone. 

Jean raised his brows in surprise. "You actually fucking did? Holy shit… you're petty as fuck" he said with a laugh. 

"Yes dude I fucking did," Eren replied and laughed along with him. 

Professor Klein stood up and looked at the two. "Alright quiet down… I hope you all spent time working on your projects, now who would like to go first?" he asked and scanned the room. 

Eren's hand shot up. "Me and (Y/N) will go first" he said and smirked. 

(Y/N)'s head snapped to look back at him. "Uh… sure" she said and stood up. 

The two went to the front of the class while Professor Klein sat down in the back, he was shuffling papers. (Y/N) had her laptop and plugged it in to project the slideshow onto the screen. 

Eren was trying to hold in his laughter as Jean had his phone out recording. 

"Alright.. you both may begin" Professor Klein said and leaned back in his chair. 

(Y/N) clicked the next slide and confusion ran through her. Why was everything suddenly changed? Her sentences seemed shorter and less informational. 

She began speaking and stuttered a bit reading it all. She hadn't memorized any of this, and she didn't even remember putting any of this down. Maybe her computer messed up and didn't save everything right away? She wasn't sure. 

Eren read his slides and crossed his arms. Why were his slides different now too? 

(Y/N) could see Professor Klein in the back narrowing his eyes and writing down different things on the paper, she felt embarrassment rushing through her. 

"We have a video to include if that's fine" Eren said and looked in the back. 

Her brows furrowed. "A video? What? I never put a video in there," she said and tapped Eren's arm. 

"Yes you did… you asked me last night," Eren replied and clicked on the link. 

The video began playing and it showed a random meme playing, the audio blasted in the classroom. Jean bursted out laughing and covered his mouth, Eren started chuckling as (Y/N) stood there totally embarrassed and upset over everything. 

"Shut that off now!" Professor Klein yelled and stood up. 

(Y/N) slammed her laptop closed and stood there absolutely horrified with what just happened. 

"Mr.Jaeger and Ms.(L/N), I expected better from the both of you. This project isn't meant to be funny, or a joke. You both are receiving a zero for this assignment, you're both adults not children! That was absolutely inappropriate and unacceptable," he said and crossed his arms. 

Eren composed himself and looked at (Y/N) who wasn't laughing. She seemed genuinely pissed off. 

"That's funny to you?" she asked and looked up at him. "Fuck you Eren… you're a fucking piece of shit," she said and grabbed her laptop. 

"Sit down Eren," Professor Klein said in a serious tone. 

Immediately when she sat, she lowered her head, feeling the gazes of many students. Embarrassment rushed through her veins when deep down she knew it was Eren who messed with the project. 

She felt a piece of paper slam down onto her table. She looked up and saw the rubric circled with zero on it, she looked at Eren and Jean who were laughing. She put her head back down as her eyes brimmed with tears. 

(Y/N) absolutely hated Eren Jaeger from that day forward.

#anime #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x reader #aot x y/n #aot fanfiction #aot imagines #snk x y/n #snk x reader #snk fanfiction #snk imagines #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren aot #attack on titan fanfiction #anime fanfic

[bedtimebrain]

EXO KAI: Detective Gone Wrong P3

You can find the masterlist to the other parts on my bio/description!

Characters: JonginxYou

You came to know Jongin by accident, but have no clue he’s EXO’s Kai. And when you found out....

You walked away blankly, remaining in a daze until your phone started vibrating in your pocket.

It was your boss who called and anxiously asked if you could cover her shift from the afternoon as she forgot about her wedding anniversary dinner.

You gladly agreed, thinking it might be better to have something to occupy yourself with today. Otherwise you’re just going to be spending the day thinking about you and jongki.

Still sane enough to be in need for breakfast, you went by the convenience store to pick up a sandwich. Standing in front of the fridge, you paused to think

What does jongki want? Does he... like me ?

And he KISSED ME TOO?! That’s definitely something only couples do right?!

How did everything escalate so fast overnight ?!

‘Excuse me, are you getting anything? You’re standing in the way’

You must have stood there for quite a while, looking at the irritated face of the customer. Apologising, you just grabbed whatever sandwich there was on the shelf and left after paying.

Falling deep in thought and replaying what happened last night again, you opened your sandwich packaging and bit down on your sandwich  

EW! Egg Mayo!

You sighed. Feeling a little more miserable with wrong sandwich choice, you continued feeding on your thoughts on the way home.

You dive straight into your bed and hugged your big Coney plush the first thing you got back. You screamed into Coney like a lunatic and kicked the air violently with your legs.

Stupid jongki, who does he think he is. Ah yes, I secretly gave you a kiss, so what. IT WAS JUST A FRIENDLY KISS CAUSE YOU WERE CUTE.

BUT WHATS WITH KISSING ME ON THE LIPS AND WAKING UP TOGETHER LIKE ITS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL

What a flirt!! See y/n you were right. Rich, handsome guys, tsk. Bound to be bad.

You threw coney to the side and your phone came crashing down with it from your side table.

Groaning, you bend over your bed to pick it up, only to see a message from the dear boy you wanted out of your mind right now.

J:I’m heading out for work soon~ have a good day today😙

Is that a kissy face?!

Oh goodness, you were so annoyed.

Kim Jongki, are you playing with me right now?? WE ARE NOT ATTACHED

.....

at least not yet (?)

Tossing the phone aside, you decided to take a shower. Afterall showers always work best for any occasion. You got up and spent a peaceful 20minutes running under hot water, clearing your thoughts. 

Though still feeling bothered, you were definitely more refreshed. Time check , it was about time for you to get changed and pick up lunch on the way to the store.

Dusting on some light make up, bunning up your hair, you changed into your working clothes. In 30 minutes you were out of the house.

On the bus ride to your working area, you were so torn between checking your phone and not to. You wanted to know if jongki texted you again, but you didn’t really want to deal with this situation.

Fiddling with your phone, you almost dropped it when it beeped to announce a message had arrived.

That’s a sign, I should look at it! Since it rang when I’m thinking whether I should

Excitedly you unlocked your phone and checked your notification, only to find that it was just a reminder message from your landlord to pay your rent.

Your heart literally dropped because you actually really wanted to receive a message from him. Just then your phone beeped again and this time it was from jongki!

J: y/n ah what’s for lunch today? I’m having kimchi stew. Texting because I thought about you who might be board having an off day today :p

Sigh, you can’t deny that boy is so cute and lovable. But you still weren’t ready to reply him. You wanted things to be clearer between both of you. While uncertainty in relationships can be the most heart fluttering period, you didn’t like being in that phase.

It wasn’t long before you reached your stop to alight. Not feeling particularly hungry yet, you stopped by street stalls along the way instead.

You arrived at your shop, feeling satisfied with the pajeon you just had. You almost forgot how therapeutic the scent of flowers were until you stepped in. The mixed floral scent of dew and freshness instantly released you from the troubled thoughts bugging you at the back of your head.

‘Unnie! I’m here! How could you forget your wedding anniversary , hahah. Have you bought a gift or something yet?’

‘Ah, y/n ah! My life saviour. No I haven’t bought anything! There’s just too many activities and occasions this month that I forgot about my own. Gosh’ she face palmed herself making you laugh

‘Then you better leave soon to get your gift! I’m here already anyway! I’ll just continue wrapping this bouquet you’re currently working on’

‘I’ll buy u a meal another day, sorry for calling you back on your off day~ oh right I’ve a parcel coming later, just open and let me know what’s inside. I ordered so many I can’t even remember what’s coming anymore.’ Removing her apron, she rushed off after saying googbye. 

Looking at the tasklist, it was going to be a busy day. 5 bouquets to finish and lots of prep for the workshop tomorrow. You immersed yourself in the wrapping right away. 

A few minutes later, your phone lighted up. It was a message from jongki.

J:yaaa, are you ignoring me deliberatelyy? do you want to come over again on sunday? 

You scoffed when you saw the message because your detective mind came to a conclusion that the latter question was just bait to get the answer to his first question. He was tempting you with a chance at his place that was a hit or miss if you don’t reply him. 

You put down the stalks of flowers you were still holding in your hands, you paused to form an appropriate reply. 

Text:

my lunch was great, and i cant go over on sunday, im going to my parent’s place 

You typed then deleted it, doesn’t sound about right, you remember telling him yesterday that you got a half day shift on sunday which you really hated.

Trying again,

i got called back at work 

Sounds fine? Should you send it like this? 

‘Delivery!’

Reacting in shock , you pressed the send button by accident at the voice of delivery man

ah shucks! 

You closed your eyes and hit yourself on the head imaginatively. Smiling at the delivery guy, you received the parcels and signed them off. 

One of it came in a tube, while the other was in a box.

What in the world did unnie order that would come in a tube? Wallpapers? Drawings??

The tube really piqued your curiosity, so you decided to check that first. opened it first.

Opening the tube, you pulled out a rolled piece of paper. Unrolling it, you noticed at the top right was a black and white logo that writes EXO Obsession. 

Ohhhh EXO!! Unnie likes exo?

Ever since you watched 100 days my prince, you had a positive inclination towards EXO. Which also reminded you of jongki who seems to like EXO Kai.

You wondered who was going to be in this poster. Not like you would recognise them though, you thought, unless its do kyungsoo ssi. 

A little excited, you pulled the poster open to full length.

Looking at the poster that stared back at you. Your smile faded away. Your jaw dropped.

‘Jongki oppa?’ you muttered under your breath

There was an uncanny resemblance between the man in the poster and jongki. 

 No way, who the hell is this from EXO? 

You turned the poster to the back hoping to find a name of the man in the picture. But there was no information.

Flipping back over, you looked closer at the other small details on the logo, you found this 3 lettered word staring back at you — ‘KAI’.

EXO KAI? Jongki watches his dance videos... or rather, Jongki also can dance ..

There were only two logical possibilities to this , either jongki has a twin or... kai is jongki..

You had to know the answer to this incredulous situation.

Making a grab for your phone, you saw jongki had already replied you , but you weren’t even going to read it

Madly typing away

Y: Oppa, do you have a twin ?

You could feel blood pumping through your veins as you sent it.

How could this be possible ? He mustn’t be exo right?

Although you weren’t interested in boy groups, there’s no one that hasn’t heard of EXO in the whole of korea. And that’s how popular EXO is.

Even though you have never checked them out to find out how they looked like, but you still knew a few names. Names like Baekhyun , chanyeol and.. kai..

Thinking of it now, it seems to all make sense that he could dance, he has abs, he’s rich, works till late, doesn’t reply all the time....

As you waited for his text to come back in, you googled EXO Kai.

Birth name: Kim Jong In

Birthday: 14 Jan 1994

Height: 1.82m

1994 was his birth year, that’s right. Kim Jong in, difference of 1 word. 1.82m, yes, obviously describes him. Google images ? 100% similarity.

If it’s not a twin....

Ding!

His msg came in

J: uh, no.. that was so random though, why? Saw someone looking like me?

You didn’t want to believe this. The friend you’ve been hanging with and even sleeping at his place.. is kai?

In the past, when you watched those cliche dramas you never understood why people made such a huge fuss when they found out their dating partner has a hidden identity.

Like isn’t it totally exciting and fun! Especially if the person turns out to be some rich CEO. Wow, your rags to riches story would come true over night.

That’s how you thought you would react.

But honestly, all you felt was some sense of betrayal right now.

Y: oppa, I think I just found out what you do...

you sent

Just in a few seconds, he replied

J:really?! What’s your wild Guess this time ?

Your hands were shaking as you prepared to type this. The moment you send this and he confirms it... what are you going to do ?

But still, this has to be done

Y: EXO Kai. Kim Jong In.

Again, he replied instantaneously

J:omg, took you long enough!! How did you find out though??!

Clearly not being able to sense the tension over the phone, he was, as usual, cheery about everything.

Y:so it’s true ? Why did you lie your name to me?

You had no idea why you felt so emotional to the brink of tears about this truth.

J: ah, I’m sorry for lying about that.. I was worried initially if I told you my real name you might make a connection and recognise me at the start.

He double texted as soon as you received that msg, saying

J: y/n, are you ok?

You typed

no I’m not. I don’t even know how I should be feeling now, or what I should be doing about our friendship.

But.. you didn’t send it. You switched your phone to do not disturb and kept it in your bag.

You stared blankly at the poster for a while before putting it back in the tube. You’re still in disbelief. This situation was ridiculous. But it was logical.

In a state of mental breakdown, you couldn’t even wrap your bouquets right. You switched over to prepping for the workshop tomorrow instead. But your mind was so preoccupied with the whole fiasco that you kept missing things out. You just wanted work to end and have the time to yourself.

The entire day went by in a mess, but at least it finally ended. Back at home, you scroll through the multiple texts he sent you

J: hmm, seems like you’re pretty shocked about this right?

J: I wanted to tell you but you said you preferred if I didn’t though..

Then there was also a missed call from him

J: Call me back?

You swiped away all his notifications. There is something you really want to do, but not really ready to. You contemplated

Should I? Search kai up ?

Typing into Google, you searched kai. It was strange, just 24 hours ago you guys were so close, almost like lovers. But right now, you’re searching him up and getting to know him like an unreachable stranger.

You tapped into one of those webpages that told fans his entire life story. From his blood type to who he has ever dated and all that small little things people conclude from what he has said.

Again, you felt a stab in your heart and sour inside. These were things you never knew about , but surely, everyone else but you knew. It was like... jongki wasnt jongki, this him is different, it feels so far and distant from the one you knew...

Pondering on that thought, you let out a bitter laugh. Jongki really wasnt jongki. He was never jongki.

Switching to YouTube , you click on ‘mmmh’ the first result when you searched kai. No matter how you tried to keep an open mind, you didn’t like it. His costume made him strange and the song really wasn’t your type.

Deciding that’s enough for the day, you put your phone aside and tried your best to fall asleep.

—-

Back at work the next day, you decided to get some ‘intel’ from your boss about kai.

‘Unnie, you like EXO Kai?’

‘Ne!!! Wae? Isn’t his visuals to die for???’ She reacted so excitedly upon hearing his name

‘Why don’t I remember you liking EXO though?’

‘I recently just got into them because of my friend who kept playing their songs on repeat in her car’ she laughed as she fixed the flowers

‘Why did you ask though? Since when were you interested in boy groups?’ She continued asking

‘Ah... When I checked the poster yesterday I thought kai was really good looking, so I’m just asking haha. So what’s so nice about kai you bought a poster?’ Finally asking what you really wanted to .

‘Oh gawd, you really wanna know? I could go on a whole day about jongin. Though he is sooooo fierce on stage , killer looks and everything, but he has such a cute personality!! You know when they ........’

And she went on and on about it, even showing you clips of kai on variety shows, interviews, etc. In these the sense of familiarity was back, you felt like this was the Jongki you knew. Oh well, it’s Jongin now, you really got to change it out.

You laughed along with your boss and you understood why he had so many fan girls. Introducing you to some EXO songs, you had to admit you really liked them!

Knowing more about kai now, you went back home that night and sat infront of your laptop, making a search for EXO’s variety shows, music videos and the likes.

You searched up ‘kai cute moments’ and you wanted to sqush him because he was just so cute like how he was normally. At the same time you can’t help but feel a little jealous that you’re sharing these sides of him with other people too.

You watched his dance videos and he was literally a dancing king. Thinking back to when he danced for you, you suddenly realised just how many girls would die to be in your place.

It was already 1am by the time you finished your search. A msg came in just as you were about to crash

J: are you up? I’m going to the convenience store to grab some food. Are you hungry? Want to come along?

Seeing his msg, you felt a little bad about ignoring him for the 2nd day now. How should you reply him now that the situation is a little awkward ?

Nicely, your phone died as you were thinking.

Alright, just a sign I should go to bed, oppa I’ll reply you after I get my phone charged up tmr.

——

You woke up to an absolutely crisis that you overslept. Considering how you didn’t sleep well for the past 2 nights over jongin, this was bound to come. You quickly washed up and left for work.

Plugging your phone into the portable battery, you phone came back to live. Again, jongin was persistent in his texts. 

J:y/n ah don’t ignore me please

J:Come over on sunday? 

J: I’m waiting for your reply. 

It was 1.30am when he asked you to come over on sunday, but his last message was past 3am. He must have been thinking about what happened with you.. You felt bad for being so absorbed in how you felt and failed to consider his feelings  when it really wasn’t his fault.

All this started out because of your dumb self who wanted to play detective. But then again, if you had found out who he was from the start, would you have gotten this close with him? Possibly not. You replied him without delay

 Y: i’ll come over on sunday

The shop gets really busy on saturdays, packed with workshops, tons of deliveries and online orders. You didn’t have time to check your phone till the end of the day, at which you saw you missed jongin’s call and texts again.

J: omg, you finally replied! is there anything you want to eat on tomorrow? i could get it if you’re coming over from work

J: we are all ok now right? 

Should you call him back? It wasn’t like you were completely okay yet, you couldn’t imagine how it would like seeing him tomorrow. He was surely still that jongki you knew, but he was also kai.

Thinking to leave the rest for tomorrow to think about, you just replied 

Y: there’s nothing i really want, just get whatever you like:)

Back at home, for the 3rd night in a row, you stayed up like a fan girl again, watching all of EXO ladders, their concert videos. You squealed and fangirled over them like a teenage girl. The more you watched, the more you started falling harder for them.

---

A halfday shift always makes your day go by real fast. You were standing outside jongin’s door. You were suddenly reminded of the times you watched 100 days my prince with him and talked about D.O. who he probably knows 1000x better than you do. And how you asked if he was a kai fan. Oh gawd, you wanted to jump into a hole. Feeling a little nervous and a little awkward and hella embarrassed, you didn’t want to press the door bell.

Finally pressing the door bell, you waited for barely half a minute, which felt like eternity before he opened the door. You could even feel your palms sweating. 

‘Annyeong Y/N! Come in quickly!’

You didn’t reply him immediately, neither did you move an inch yet.  The smile on his face slowly faded and he just looked at you, starting to chew on his lips. 

Seeing his face once again, in real life, your heart skipped a beat. You knew it wasn’t because he was kai, but because he was still jongki, that someone special to you.

You quickly smiled back at him the moment you got out of your thoughts. He let out the breath that he has been holding, making you laugh. 

‘Annyeong, jong..’ you paused there, about to call him jongki 

‘annyeong jongin oppa’ it sounds weird to you, not to be calling him the name you were used to

You guess he must have been feeling a little awkward when you called him by his real name too, he scratched his head and chuckled.

‘I ordered pizza, are you hungry? let’s eat’ he gestured for you to go to the dining area and was ready to walk away

But you felt you had to talk to him first about this, 

‘oppa, can we talk?’ 

He turned around to face you, he nodded slowly

‘sure..’

You walked over to him, leaving a comfortable space between the both of you. 

He avoided your eye contact as you started

‘so... EXO Kai huh?’

‘...y/n, i.. you should know i have no intentions to hide anything from you deliberately, i was ready to tell you anytime. but i also thought you would react in a ‘pleasant surprise’ way rather than a ‘nasty shock’ received, so i just let it be’

He looked at you with sincerity in his beautiful eyes which showed how bad he felt. But you honestly just wanted to clear the air and lighten up the mood

‘actually, I just wanted to tell you that... I became an EXOL!’

You exclaimed and laughed. His eyes widened and stared at you like you were out of your mind, before bursting into laughter too.

But his laughter soon turned to sobs, and he rubbed his eyes profusely, which got you stunned

‘I... I thought I messed up our friendship, our relationship. And I really missed you, I didn’t want our us to end like this.....’ he said in between sobs and almost sounded like he was wailing

‘We haven’t even started...! Y/N, you scared me when you didn’t even reply at all! I thought you didn’t want to contact me anymore!’ He give you a light push on your shoulder as he emotionally spilled out all his thoughts

Though you were really confused, it was heart wrenching to see him cry so hard. You quickly put your arms around his waist and have him a hug.

‘Oppa, I’m sorry for the past few days I ignored you. I was just trying to figure how to handle the weight of the truth that you’re EXO Kai. Hahah, I’m so confused at your reaction right now you know.’

Calming down, but still sounding nasal he said

‘I’m going to make you stay here today until I’m convinced that you don’t hate me for being kai.

Oh and that you won’t go MIA on me again if you found out some other kai stuff’

Breaking away from the hug, he grabbed onto your shoulders

‘Y/N I like you, I really like you, so don’t leave my life please’

His impromptu confession got you feeling shy, you didn’t know what to do , but merely nodded in response.

Feeling all bright again he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the house.

You were glad it was as if nothing has changed, except that you probably became the luckiest fangirl alive just like this.

———

This fic went through so many content changes, I’m so glad I finished writing this! For those that waited for this part, I hope it wasn’t too underwhelming:,) feel like there’s definitely still a lot for me to work on as a new writer.

Also just dropping a note to say this would most probably be my last fic tell after may! Please check out of my other fics in the meantime too:) Hopefully I’ll be back with better writings !

#kai #exo #exo fanfic #exo scenario #exo scenarios #kim kai #kim jongin #jongin fanfic #jongin scenarios #jongin scenario #exo kai #exo jongin #exo comeback #nini #kai x gucci

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once* #so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao) #*apologis #*from now on #omg

[calamariimpossible]

Magicians on the internet, crypto, and the email that broke me.

This is a continuation of a twitter thread that Muz (@mzkrx) started to write out in his car but then when he plotted out his thoughts, it made more sense to him to put it down in a blog format rather than a thread. You'll find out why as you read through.

Stuck in the car for half an hour so I'm gonna do a thread (Editor's note: Now a whole-ass blog post) about a strange email I got recently.

So I was casually watching magic tricks on YouTube. the funnest part of which to me is reading the comments. YouTube commenters love explaining how they think the trick is done and it's fun to read through their theories and connect dots between similar tricks, etc.

And then one time as I was scrolling I noticed a comment that didn't make sense. It was a string of an almost sentence. Intelligible enough to not be random words but odd enough to read like a trigger phrase for something.

The closest I can describe it as is like the string Zemo used to wake up the Winter Soldier, but with some syntax to it. Like "many thermos wiggle throughout exotic harbinger of circle ascending fuchsia entrapment".

Initially I thought nothing of it, but then I kept seeing them in these magic trick video comment sections. They're never the same string, and it's always under magic trick videos. from different channels even.

Hmmm.

The profiles that posted these comments are also always blank accounts with zero videos and no profile pic. Just their name. I felt like it was too much of a coincidence for these comments to only be under magic trick videos.

I also knew that the world of performance magic is thick with secrets. That is to say, there is deliberate obfuscation of information whenever you try to go online to find out how a trick works.

Magicians get together online and share information with each other just like performers of every other sort as well but the amount of code and doublespeak they use is an order of magnitude more annoying to decipher compared to say, an engineering message board or a gamedev forum.

Knowing that, I thought maybe this almost parsable gibberish I keep seeing everywhere was also some kind of code these people were using to talk to each other.

So I started investigating.

First things first, let's just Google one of the phrases. Maybe that's enough?

And it sorta was.

Pasting them onto the search bar lent me to only 1 result (wild!) and it was a website that looked really dank. Like geocities dank. Annoying neon colours and badly margined jpegs of tarot card images everywhere and a big bold header text that said something to the effect of:

"Congratulations, you've found our hidden message. This portal is only for those seeking knowledge beyond what is on the surface. Continue below."

* * *

I haven't been doing well. I feel like I say that too much. I say it on Patreon, on my personal podcast, whenever any of my friends ask me how I'm doing, pretty much everywhere. I feel very heavy. I understand I'm not the only one feeling like this during a pandemic.

Duh.

But I have this other version of worry that I can't quite articulate until right now: I'm scared I won't be funny anymore. Anwar and Farid can attest that even during our recordings I don't feel up to being funny. I question my jokes a lot. I barely enjoy telling them. I'm worried I'm letting everyone down.

To me, silliness and absurdism as virtues only make sense when the world has trace amounts of injustice and wrongness that training ourselves to see it in our everyday helps us remind ourselves of what is just and fair. The more we consume silliness, the more we are able to recognize silly and point it out. So we don't ignore it when things go wrong, so we talk about it, manage it. So we can take care of each other.

Maybe I can't be sure if we're all up for taking care of each other right now.

* * *

"Continue below" seems instructive, but it wasn't. Like I mentioned, the margins were haphazard and the CSS was all over the place. Some jpegs were straight up cropped off.

Meaning I can't be sure what "below" meant. But there were clickable images and text so I was readily intrigued.

It was tantalizing. Did I stumble into some secret order of Extremely Online Magicians? Maybe I'll finally find out why there aren't many female magicians out there. Maybe it's some sort of secret initiation to a secret message board full of secrety secrets. Secretly.

Y'all.

I didn't click on any of the linked images or anything. I closed the tab. That was the end of that.

An earlier version of myself would gladly run headlong into this rabbit hole to find out more and sink hours into some goddessforsaken labyrinth of links. But the current version of me recognizes this for what it almost certainly is: an abandoned roleplaying game.

Back in the early 00s when the internet was the realm of nerds and nerds only, it was full of people who loved sharing things for sharing's sake. It used to be punk rock to maintain a blog that only talked about snails or have a lo-fi YouTube channel that uploads biweekly 3-minute news about your house, or manage a little message board where people roleplay as wizards who rummage around the net looking for clues.

That last part was a thing I remember being actively involved in. In '03, a group of online friends and I wrote up a scavenger hunt of sorts where we sent people through various blog pages that we have where the goal is to just dick around and have fun. We wasted each other's time for sure. Hundreds of hours of it for literally no gain at all but for some laughs and fun memories.

The internet isn't like that anymore. People don't share something online for sharing anymore. Not really. There's this idea that if you put stuff out there, you want people's attention because numbers are good. You get a lotta reblogs and RTs and Likes which means people Like you.

If you don't have a lotta numbers, you don't matter. If you do, everyone has to talk about what you said or did because it's 'News' now.

Isn't that kinda gross, you think? That we need people to interact through an app to be sure that we're Liked? I say "we" but I mean me. I've successfully poisoned my brain to believe this to a certain extent too and it's not good.

I felt myself physically react when I closed that geocities magician website tab. I shuddered because my brain went from "this is cool" to "I gotta let people know I found this" to "this'll get me hella RTs" to "ew Muz why did you think that" within 3 seconds and I was disgusted with myself.

As a dude who started my online presence on YouTube and parlayed it into my real life comedy/writing career, I've believed for a long time that doing good work and putting it out there is what it takes for a working creative to make it because that's what I did. So there's this idea that making stuff and having it be seen is some kind of virtuous.

But it's not anymore. People pick fights with children for clout. Newspapers post about people's tweets as if its important. People are investing in crypto, a thing that literally only exists as electrical waste on a grand scale. We're boiling the oceans to yell at each other over nothing and exchange bits of code everyone agrees has ever-rising value but doesn't. Everyone is making and eating junk, it feels like.

So am I making junk? Have I just been making useless junk for literally over a decade now? Is that what I've been good for this entire time?

* * *

So the email.

It was a response from a company I applied to for a job. I applied as a creative writer and they're an advertising agency.

Receiving emails from a prospective employer when you're in need of a job is exciting! So soon after I applied, too. Wonderful. Here's what it said:

We just received your application today but would love to extend the opportunity for you to participate in the Case Competition as a prerequisite of your job application for Creative Writer position with [REDACTED] and stand a chance to be a winner for cash awards up to a total worth of RM1,800.

Yea.

They want me to enter a competition where I compete with other candidates to get a chance of being hired.

This company saw how many people applied for a job with them, and decided to dangle some cash and throw it over the fence to see which candidate will fight for it the most.

I didn't expect to feel vomitous after reading an email but that did it. I almost dry heaved. That's where we are now.

Recruiters see a glut of applicants and decided to play Fall Guys. These people watch Istana Takeshi and think Takeshi is the good guy. It hurts. It hurt me. That email caused me pain.

I can't at all empathise with recruiters who think this was okay to do. They really believed that creative writers will do a little dance for them just for money.

Look, I know we all need to eat. But I can also hate that people undervalue the work of creatives to this painful extent.

I don't give a shit about earning a lot of dough. I just wanna make things that tickle people. I want you to smile more.

That's the whole point of that weird little YouTube comment that led to the quirky website. That's the whole idea of making silly videos and dumb tweets and memes. We just want you to laugh.

But it seems people think so little of joy that they'll do whatever they can to avoid legitimately supporting and paying for stuff that gets them through the day. So much so that they want free work from us for the potential of maybe being able to get paid for more work. It breaks me, man.

I hate that I cannot make a living just trying my best to make people happy.

That's the best way I know to take care of you.

I know I don't just 'make junk' for a living. People have messaged me personally that my work has helped them get through tough times in school, in their relationships, at the office and I am eternally grateful that they took the time to tell me that.

I just also wish my feelings about my work aren't easily brought down by the majority of people who insist its worthless. Even if sometimes those people is me.

So forgive me if I won't be funny for a while. I'm gonna need some time to process this. Thank you for reading. I love you.

[peachymhaechan]

“Are you sure this is legal?”

Genre: fluff, a tad bit of angst, you already know the fuckin vibes; best friends to lovers! au

Warnings: swearing, breaking into a closed pool i guess ??? honestly p tame compared to what i normally write

Pairing: na jaemin x female reader

Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1OT332LXdqZmRE28NxPRzg?si=OGJL7n3KQYmcpfCwVFhRQw

A/N: i hope the ending doesn’t translate to me not knowing how to end this too badly lol,,, also- not to be political or anything but,, here are some petitions to sign if you haven’t already :) https://blacklives.help/?url=https://blacklives.help&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9b_4BRCMARIsADMUIyqCSaXuMx89tawp4m0X8HiGhh8gGI_jWIO-aWY72f8TKaLdF0GHh3YaAmnAEALw_wcB#petitions 

Being friends with Jaemin was always an adventure. Having met him in preschool and growing up down the street from him, you had plenty of memories from early childhood all the way to adulthood. You experienced just about every big milestone moment together- losing your first baby tooth, entering middle school, being heartbroken for the first time, getting your license, even opening your college acceptance letters to your dream college together. From the moment you two met, you were both attached to the hip and inseparable ever since. Luckily, you both had the same dream college and both were accepted, so not even post-secondary education could get you two away from one another. 

The summer before college, however, life seemed to change. 

You and Jaemin had been through so much together, and you both had felt like nothing would change that. There had been many late night talks discussing your future plans; you’d find your significant others, get married (with each other as the best woman and man of honor, of course), have kids, and have your kids be best friends. Simple as that, no other way of thinking about it. 

It was a few days after graduation, and you went over to Jaemin’s house in the evening, already expecting to walk into his house and find a living room full of teenage boys playing video games since Jaemin didn’t respond to any of your texts. Kicking off your shoes and throwing on a pair of slippers by the door, you found your suspicions to be correct. Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun, and Haechan all lounged around Jaemin’s living room, completely focused on the television screen broadcasting their game of Call of Duty. They all spoke amongst one another, switching between discussing the game at hand and other matters- specifically, Jaemin’s love life. 

Or, you should say non existent love life, as Haechan so lovingly reminded him. 

“Jaemin, are you ever going to ask Y/N out? Or are you going to keep leading on that girl you took to prom. Crap, what’s her name? Isn’t it like Kim or something? Ah, fuck, Jeno, why’d you shoot me?” Haechan whined out, stopping you on the spot. I’m sorry, fucking pardon? you thought, not sure if you heard correctly. 

“Dude, I’ve thought about it and I just- I don’t know. I wanted to take her to prom and ask her out afterwards, but then Y/N was asked by Mark and… the timing was never right, and it never feels like it ever is right. I’m just going to push it off until college, I think,” Jaemin mumbled, fingers aggressively jabbing at the controller in his hands. At his words, your mind went blank and your body started running on autopilot. Jaem liked you? Like, like-liked you? No way. No fucking way. 

“Jaemin, you gotta ask her out, dude. You let Mark swoop in for a bit, and you’re lucky she ended it before it went anywhere. Are you going to let the same thing happen in college? What if she doesn’t cut the guy off before things get serious, and you never get it off your chest?” Jeno asked, raising a few solid points. You hated to admit it, but he made sense. It was still weird to hear out loud, though. You had never thought of Mark as ‘stealing you’ from Jaemin, and truth be told you did enjoy all the times you had with Mark, but you didn’t want to get into something serious when he was about to leave for a college that was all the way across the country. Long distance relationships work all the time, but you didn’t want your first serious relationship to be long distance. As always, Jaemin was there to cheer you up after your first heartbreak, lending you his shoulder to cry on. And ever the gentleman, he didn’t even complain when you got snot all over his shirt from crying so much. 

But hearing all those things made you wonder why Jaemin was there for you to cry on; in the past you had wondered how Jaemin was always such a steady and strong person in your life, but now you were doubting how and why. 

A couple more seconds of silence passed, and then Jaemin’s mom noticed you before Jaemin and the rest of the boys did, and she yelled, “Jaem, Y/N’s here!” to which she received no response. 

Sighing, you strolled over to where Jaemin was sitting and stood in front of him, trying to get his attention, but to no avail, as he simply just stood up and looked at the TV screen over you. 

“Jaem, you’re lucky your mom is in the other room, otherwise I’d be cussing you out right now,” you told him, putting your hands on your hips and scowling at the boy. The previous conversation ran through your head, and it took everything in you to force those thoughts back and just act like everything was normal. Unbeknownst to you, Jaemin and the rest of the guys were secretly shaking in their boots and wondering how much of their conversation you overheard. 

He stuck his tongue out at you in response, saying, “We’ll be done in just a minute.” Sighing, you flopped down into his spot on the couch, further incentivizing him to finish up his game and pay attention to you. To annoy you, of course, he sat down on you. 

“Jaem, what the hell,” you yelled, voice muffled from his back being right on you. The rest of the guys were too focused on the game to even notice the antics going on between you and Jaemin. Slapping his back, you tried to get him off you but in retaliation he bounced back on you, making the situation even worse. Thank God they finished that round shortly after and he got off you. 

“You suck,” you said, pushing Jaemin off and making him fall on the floor. He looked up at you from the ground and pouted, sticking his bottom lip out so he looked like a baby. All the guys stood up, setting their controllers down and stretching. “You lowkey deserved that, Jaemin,” Renjun announced, arms raised over his head in a stretch. Jaemin suddenly got a smirk on his face, and you could practically see the gears turning in his head, making your eyes widen in fear. 

“Na Jaemin, don’t you dare-” 

The next thing you knew, you were being pulled onto the floor by your legs, a scream leaving your throat but quickly dissolving into a laugh. How you didn’t see that coming you didn’t know. 

“Ew, gross-” 

“They’re doing couple shit again-” 

“I just threw up in my mouth-” 

Rolling your eyes at the comments of the guys, you pulled yourself up off the ground and pursed your lips in annoyance. “What are you guys, twelve?” you rebutted, not tolerating their childish behavior. 

“I will have you know, I just turned thirteen!” Haechan quipped back, making everyone snicker a bit. “Yeah, you sure as hell act like it, too,” you replied, making him scoff. “Anyways, I’m bored. Entertain me,” you announced, dramatically sighing and flailing your arms around. 

“Dude, summer just started. How are you bored already?” Renjun asked you, skeptical as to how you could be so bored in such a short amount of time. “Uh, hello? You guys are basically my only friends, and nobody has answered their phones all day. Yeah, I’m bored, give me something to do, talk to me, ask me to hang out, whatever,” you explained, slightly guilt tripping them. You were only partially lying when you said they were your only friends. You had other people, too, like Chenle and Jisung and Mark and a few others, but they weren’t as close as you were with Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin. Well, Jaemin, specifically. You were certain that if you needed an organ transplant or something, Jaemin would be at the hospital in a matter of minutes and ready to donate. The same couldn’t be said about the others, but you get my point. 

“Okay, fine, let’s order a pizza or something and have a movie night in my backyard. Sound good?” Jaemin suggested, appeasing the group. Naturally, at the mention of pizza, all the boys got excited and aggressively nodded their heads, signalling they were in. Jaemin’s parents bought a large projector for the backyard a few years ago so that whenever he had friends over they could all hangout in the backyard and not disturb the adults inside the house. Smart thinking for them, plus all of Jaemin’s friends had fun with it, so it was a win-win situation. 

You guys all got to work setting up the projector and blankets on the ground in the backyard, trying to hustle so it would all be done before sunset. Luckily you guys succeeded, and Jaemin came back outside with a few pizza pies, the swarm of teenage boys surrounding the pizza before you could even think to get any. Over the years you had learned that if you wanted food, you had to act quick, otherwise all the guys would eat it all without any remorse. So, like always, you jumped into the mayhem and managed to get away with a few slices. Content, you retreated to one of the blankets and sat down, happily chewing away at a piece of pizza, listening to the guys all chatter in the background. Faintly, you heard Haechan and Renjun bickering over something trivial like always, while Jeno and Jaemin stood by and mediated the whole thing. 

“Pepperoni is totally a saturated fat, dumbass!” 

“Nuh uh, saturated fats are liquids at room temperature, wise one! Unsaturated fats are fats like pepperoni and other meats, like, I don’t know, salami!” 

“Actually, according to Google-” 

Someone sitting down next to you pulled you out of your stupor, and you found yourself being surprised by Jaemin sitting next to you. He flashed you a grin, knowing that you secretly enjoyed listening to those two fight like an old married couple as much as he did, though he’d never admit it, either. 

“I’m sorry none of us responded to your texts today,” he said, finishing the last of his pizza and wiping his hands on a napkin. You shrugged, not sure how to properly articulate your true feelings. 

“It’s okay, it just sucks feeling like I’m the only one left out, ya know? And I want to hang out with you guys as much as I possibly can before college. I know that we’re going to school together and will see each other regularly- and if we don’t then I will hunt you down and force you to hang out with me, by the way- but that’s not the case for the other guys, and I want to make the most of this last summer. This is the last summer that we can still be kids and have fun and not have to worry about how much debt we’re in or how much our student loans are. Let’s live a little while we can.” 

Jaemin narrowed his eyes at you, abruptly laid down on the blanket and stared up at the sky, and then quickly shot back up to a sitting position. For once in your life, you couldn’t read the expression on his face, concerning you a tad bit. 

“You’re right,” he told you, standing up and going to his phone to pick a movie for the projector. “You’re right, I hadn’t thought of it that way, to be honest. We should be having fun, though, while we can, because it’s not like the past however many years we’ve known the rest of the guys where they’ll be a five minute walk away. Let’s do some dumb shit this summer while we can still get away with it,” Jaemin said, swiping through Netflix before eventually stopping on the Bee Movie. 

“I mean, I agree with you for the most part, and I’ll do whatever. As long as it isn’t illegal, that is. Your parents would kill you if you got caught and so would mine. They’d tag team it and kill us both, Jaem,” you said, not sure what exactly he had in mind when he said dumb shit. Jaemin, however, and your group of friends in general, seemed to be experts on dumb shit so you couldn’t even imagine what he had up his sleeve. 

He turned to look at you with a sly grin on his face and said, “I guess we better hope we don’t get caught, then.” On that note, he came and sat back down next to you again, tugging you down to lay on the blanket next to him. You chuckled at how clingy he was, pinching his cheeks and cooing at him to annoy him. It didn’t work, though, because the next thing you knew, Jaemin was trapping you in his arms and pulling you to his chest, where he cooed down at you and pinched your cheeks. That seemed to catch the attention of the other boys, because they all shut up their argument about saturated vs. unsaturated fats and turned their eyes onto you two. The three of them got shit eating grins on their faces and one of them discreetly took out his phone, taking a video of you two without you guys even noticing. 

From that point, the three of them silently made a pact to do whatever they could within their power to finally get Jaemin to confess to you. So, after a series of aggressive head nods in different directions, they decided to quietly tiptoe back to the house and leave you two outside alone. 

And, the sad part is, you and Jaemin didn’t even notice that the guys were no longer there until about thirty minutes into the movie. “Ya like jazz?” Jaem quoted with the movie, then noticed that you were the only one laughing. “Wait, where’d everyone else go?” he asked, looking around and finding absolutely nobody else in the yard with you two. 

“When did everyone else go?” 

“No clue,” Jaemin responded, shrugging his shoulders and staring at you. He narrowed his eyes, pursed his lips in thought, and stared at you. 

“Jaem, you’re giving me major creeper vibes right now,” you told him, making him laugh. Standing up, he reached his hand down for you to grab so he could pull you up. Sliding your palm in his, he gave you a huge smile and pulled you up, immediately jumping up and down. Giggling, you asked him, “What are you thinking about up in there?” and gently knocked on the side of his head. 

“I’m thinking that we should do something fun, go live a little,” he explained, grabbing his phone and your hand in his then pulling you into his house. His mom was in the living room, watching Jeopardy and drinking tea, fully invested in the show. 

“Mom, where did everyone go?” he asked, leaning against the wall and looking at the TV. “Oh, Jeno said he had to go feed his cats and the others said they needed to help him. Didn’t know it took three people to feed two cats, but you learn something new every day, I suppose,” she informed you two, a glint in her eye that said she knew more than what she was letting on, but you and Jaemin decided to just let it be. 

“Ah, okay. Well, anyways, we're going to go on a drive,” Jaemin told her, surprising you. Somehow you managed to keep your face under control and not display how shocked you were. Living in such a small town, it wasn’t unheard of for teens to go on drives to the local Walmart or the shitty gas station chain for entertainment, but usually you were aware of the plan before it happened. Not when Jaemin was telling his mom he was taking the car. 

“Okay, honey. Stay safe, make good decisions, don’t drink and drive, wrap it before you ta-” 

“MOM, WHAT THE HELL?!” 

You had to agree with Jaemin on that one. 

“I’m just saying! Have fun!” she exclaimed, laughing lightly at his outburst and your disgusted face. 

“Bye Mom, love you,” Jaemin said, slipping on a pair of slides and grabbing the car keys from the dining room table. “Bye, Mrs. Na,” you told her, waving before you left the house. 

“So what’s the plan?” you asked, hopping into the passenger seat and picking a playlist from Jaemin’s phone. A while ago, you had made a playlist full of songs that reminded you of how hanging out with Jaemin made you feel, and after hearing it once, Jaemin fell in love with it. So, anytime you two were going on a drive somewhere or even just having a dance party in your room, that playlist would be the go to. 

“We,” he said, grabbing your headrest to see the driveway and road behind him, “are going swimming.” Naturally, you were confused for quite a few reasons. One: it was almost eleven o’clock at night. Two: none of the other boys or you had a pool. Three: you were wearing jean shorts. 

“Um,” was all you could say, too many things running through your head to properly articulate them, but the one big one was simply ‘What?’

Reaching out, he turned the music up and started dancing a bit in his seat, making you relax a tiny bit. Jaemin seemed so carefree, you figured that you had trusted him enough thus far in your life, might as well trust him on this one, too. 

“HANDS ON THE WHEEL, JAEM!” you yelled when he grabbed your wrists to make you dance. He laughed and put his hands back on the steering wheel, navigating the streets so that you were on track for the community pool. You looked over at him, turning in your seat to face him, and sat there in awe. It looked like something out of a movie, really; the street lights illuminating the highs of his face, the bright smile spanning his entire face, wind blowing his hair around. In that moment, you could feel your heart skip a beat and your throat get tight. There were so many things that you wanted to say to him, like how you knew he was your best friend but your feelings were suddenly very much so not best friend-like, or how you don’t know why your palms start sweating when he smiles at you, or how the casual hand holding he always did with you had you weak in the knees. You weren’t sure exactly when all those thoughts started popping into your brain, but the couple months prior made it increasingly difficult to be best friends with him. Normal best friends don’t think about kissing each other, but there you were, wondering how his lips felt. 

“Enjoying the view?” Jaemin teased, noticing your gaze on him and blushing. “Eh, it’s not too bad, if I’m being honest,” you teased back, a smirk on your face. You wondered why he was blushing so much, but you chalked it up to the humidity despite it cooling down. “Well, you should take a picture of it so you can remember it forever.” 

The statement made you scoff, and you hoped it came off as an exasperated, you’re so full of yourself kind of scoff, but in reality it was a much different scoff. It was truly an exasperated, how could you even think I’d forget something as big as this? kind of scoff. 

“You’re ridiculous sometimes, Na Jaemin,” you stated, leaning back against the car door to fully gaze at Jaemin as he drove. He had one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the middle console, completely at ease while driving you to the pool. His lips were curved up, obviously pleased with the situation at hand. 

“Yet you keep coming back to me, Y/L/N Y/N,” he shot back, trapping you in a corner. Clicking your tongue, you shook your head in mock disappointment. 

“That I do. Not entirely sure, why, I should probably start working on that,” you mumbled, feigning disinterest. Right as you said that, Jaemin pulled into the parking lot of the closed community pool, the street lights illuminating the lot and providing you light to see. 

“Am I supposed to swim in my jean shorts?” you asked, pointing down to your legs. You doubted Jaemin’s parents would have been thrilled with the idea of you sitting in his car on his leather seats with wet jeans on. Yes, the car might have been his, but his parents contributed a hell of a lot of money to buy it, as well as the general upkeep occasionally, and upkeep definitely covered wet jeans on leather seats. 

“Do you even have towels with you?” you asked, Jaemin turning the car off and getting out to go to the trunk. He pulled out a duffel bag with gym clothes in it, sorting through it before taking out two towels and a pair of shorts. 

“Here,” he said, holding out the pair of shorts to you. “There’s a drawstring in the waistband, so you’ll be fine.” You took the shorts from him, holding them up to your waist to try and get an idea on how large they’d be on you. The answer was very, as they went down to your shins. The sight made Jaemin lightly laugh, giggling at the fact that those shorts were on the brink of swallowing you whole. 

“This should be interesting,” you mumbled, trying to calm the blush taking over your cheeks. It was hard to not blush whenever Jaemin laughed like that, the mere sound of his voice enough to drive you crazy. 

“I think so,” he hummed in agreement, a giddy gleam in his eyes. Jaemin was genuinely excited, and as were you. However, you couldn’t help the ball of nerves in the pit of your stomach from forming at the thought of getting in trouble. With a smirk on his face, Jaemin led you over past the entrance and to the side of the pool that was surrounded by a chain link fence. In theory, maybe having a chain link fence was not the best in regards to security, but the pool always had cameras on the property to prevent breaking and entering. 

Jaemin looked around a few times to make sure nobody was around, then tossed his towel up over the fence, and started climbing. Your eyes widened, not sure what to do in that situation. He must have been really confident in everything to be so nonchalant about breaking into the community pool, that was in the middle of the community park, that was regularly patrolled. 

“Are you sure this is legal?” you asked Jaemin, eyes frantically flicking between Jaemin easily scaling the fence and the rest of the park, making sure nobody else was around. He looked down at you from the top of the fence, swinging his leg over to the other side and smirking. 

“Relax,” he said, using a calming tone and climbing down. “Chenle said that they’re in the process of installing new security cameras, and the park security usually don’t go out for their nightly patrol until one in the morning.” He landed softly on the ground with a light thud, peering through the fence to meet your eyes. There was an impish glint in his eyes, and you knew what you had to do next. 

Taking a deep breath, you tossed the shorts and towel over the fence (which landed on Jaemin’s head to your satisfaction), and started to go up. At the top, you looked down at Jaemin, who gave you an encouraging thumbs up, and realized that holy fuck that fence was a lot taller than what you previously perceived. All it took to get you to keep going was one look at Jaemin. A couple seconds later, you had your feet on the ground, hand wrapped around Jaemin’s upper arm to balance yourself. 

“Ready?” he asked, the shorts and towels in his hand, a crazed grin on his face. Seeing how excited he was made a small smile work its way onto your face, and you tried and failed to not show it, but he knew. You grabbed the shorts from him and ducked inside the women’s locker room, changing into the shorts as quickly as you could and then walking back outside to find Jaemin sitting on the side of the pool with his feet in the water. He looked oddly peaceful, watching his reflection on the surface of the water. The sight put a smirk on your face, making you cross your arms and lean against the entrance to the locker room. You wanted the moment to last longer than it did, because the second you sighed out in content, Jaemin turned around and noticed you. 

His face automatically lit up into a beam, clearly relieved to see you. “I thought you fell into the toilet for a second,” he informed you, standing up and walking over to you. You met him in the middle, gazing up at him. “Haha, very funny,” you counter, rolling your eyes. “I’m pretty sure these could be pants on me,” you pointed out, gesturing to the shorts that went down to nearly your ankles. 

As expected, Jaemin started to uncontrollably laugh at the spectacle of you wearing his gym shorts. “You look so stupid,” he wheezed out, legitimately tearing up from laughing so hard. “You’re such a jerk!” you exclaimed, scoffing in disbelief and punching his arm. He rubbed his arm where you hit him, but he did not stop laughing, only pissing you off more. 

“You better watch yourself!” he warned, mockingly pointing his finger at you. Tossing your shorts and towel onto a chair, you stuck your tongue out at him, egging him on further. Bad decision, you realized a second too late. Without any warning, he charged towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He swung you up onto his shoulder, your legs on the front of his body and fists slamming against his back. 

“NA JAEMIN! LET ME DOWN!” you demanded, legs swinging wildly. You figured that with enough thrashing he’d set you down on the ground, but you were oddly mistaken. You could hear the smirk in his voice as he answered, “As you wish.” The next thing you knew, you were tossed into the air and then breaking through the surface of the water, the cooler temperature sending goosebumps up your arms and legs. 

Your feet hit the bottom of the pool and you stood up, rubbing the water out of your eyes to glare up at Jaemin, who stood in front of you outside the pool and laughing at you. 

“You’re such a jackass!” you exclaimed, only fueling him and convincing him to do what he was thinking of. Aka, cannonballing right in front of you. The water that you just rubbed out of your eyes was splashed back at you, successfully ticking you off. Jaemin popped back up with a grin, shaking his head to get the wet hair out of his eyes. 

“Are you happy now that you threw me in?” you asked, lightly splashing at him. 

“Very,” he admitted, the smirk not leaving his face. 

“Is my misery funny to you?” you fired back, hands landing on your hips. 

“Very,” he repeated, smirking even bigger now. Reaching your breaking point, you swam over to him and quickly dunked him under a tiny bit before he could react. He came back up with a significantly smaller smirk, mumbling something along the lines of, “I probably deserved that, to be honest.” 

“Uh, you think?” you jabbed, swimming away to the deep end. You floated there on your back, staring up at the sky and smiling at the stars. In that moment, you felt complete peace. In all honesty, your life was pretty nice. Aside from that awkward, not knowing where you two were in a relationship with you and your best friend. 

Speaking of him, said best friend came swimming over to you and looked over at you, an unknown gleam in his eyes. He rested his chin on his hands on the side of the pool, looking over at you with admiration. You stopped floating and looked back at him, scanning his face for any signs about what was going on inside his head. 

“What are you thinking about?” you asked, genuinely curious about what was going through his mind. You used to be so good at telling what he was thinking about, able to communicate with each other with just a glance. Somewhere in senior year, though, he became a little more… hesitant, to say the least, when it came to sharing his inner thoughts. At first it hurt, but then it made you take a step back and reevaluate things. If you were being one hundred percent transparent, the same day that Mark asked you to prom with a dramatic sign in his shaking hands, a nervous lilt in his voice, was the day you came to terms with your feelings for Jaemin. ‘Will you…. Will you go to prom with me?’ Mark had asked, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead from being so anxious about confessing his feelings and having them be so on display in front of his peers. You so vividly remember thinking, ‘I am in love with Jaemin,’ but stubbornly saying yes to Mark. It’d be a huge lie to say you didn’t think Mark was a sweetheart, with his boy next door aura and guitar playing and innocent church boy vibes, but he just… didn’t have your heart. Your heart belonged to the boy you grew up with, the boy you hung out with on the playground in elementary school, teased in middle school for his peculiar interests, and who you had so desperately wished would have asked you to prom instead. 

“You,” Jaemin simply replied, sending your heart aflutter. He really knew how to mess with your feelings. 

Quirking an eyebrow, you kicked off the wall of the pool and swam to the shallow end again, fight or flight kicking in against your will. You weren’t one to run from your problems, per se, but for the past couple of months, you had worked so hard  to not let your true feeling show and tarnish your relationship. For fuck sake, you had been best friends since as long as you could remember. Every big event in your life, Jaemin was always there. The last thing you wanted to do was to fuck it all up because of your selfish feelings. (It’s worth pointing out, I think, that those are feelings you couldn’t help.)

“All good things, I hope,” you called out, not having to look over your shoulder to know he was already making his way back to you. 

“Very confident of yourself, aren’t you?” Jaemin shot back, a teasing tone lacing his words. You let out a tiny giggle, saying, “Look at me, how can I not be? I am me, after all. You should be grateful I’m even gracing your presence.” He made it too easy, sometimes. But at least he was able to bounce off you, playing with your humor. 

“You’re right,” he told you, surprisingly serious. That got you to look over your shoulder at him finally, spinning around to stand in front of him. The expression on your face was essentially one big question mark, not expecting to find him standing there with his heart on his sleeve, completely vulnerable to you. 

It was common for Jaemin to be so open with you, but this was a different kind of open…. His expression was something you’d never been shown by him before. 

“Are you finally going to tell me what you’re thinking about?” you asked, hands itching to find purchase on his chest, or his arms, or run through his hair. Every nerve in your body yelled out at you to do something, touch him, but you fought it. After all, your relationship could have been destroyed with one touch, one impulse decision, one sentence, three words. 

“Are you sure you want me to?” he whispered, peering down at you through his lashes. The lashes that you had always admired, been so jealous of, but somewhere along the way started to wonder what it felt like to feel them on your skin as you two kissed. 

“Why not?” you jokingly breathed out, dry humor disguising the gravity of it all. For the longest time, you had been so caught up in covering your true feelings to salvage your relationship that you forgot that Jaemin had the exact same power you did; one sentence and he could destroy the fourteen years of friendship you had. 

“I am in love with you,” he gushed, that statement coming out in a rush. He brought his hands to brush some of the hair out of your face, and the tremor gave away how nervous he was, but the strong look in his eyes stood as contradictory. Gazing into his eyes, you finally placed what that unknown gleam he that always had was. It was the same one you had when you looked at him. 

“I know that me saying this jeopardizes everything we have, and I’d hate for one sentence to ruin what we have, what we’ve known the entire time we’ve known each other,” he told you, voicing exactly your own concerns. Wow. “But I feel like I can’t go on pretending anymore.” Again, wow. Despite the seriousness of the situation at hand, you couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that left you. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, hands finally placing themselves on his chest. Jaemin looked down at you in confusion, having laid his true feelings out for you to only laugh. “I’m not laughing at you, dear God I’m not, I just…. You put into words everything I’ve been feeling for months now,” you clarified, meeting his gaze, a small smile on your face. “If I’m being honest, as cliche as it sounds, I’ve been fighting the same battle in my mind for months now. I actually only went to prom with Mark to try to get over you, because I was scared to face my feelings for you head on. I didn’t want to ruin what we had,” you admitted, cupping his face in your hands. The blush dusting his cheeks ignited a warmth in your chest, the feeling spreading. 

“God, are we stupid,” Jaemin said, his hands resting on your hips and pulling you closer to him. 

“I know, we are such dumbasses sometimes. I guess it was meant to be,” you replied, getting the nerve to do what you had dreamed of for the longest time. Standing up on your tiptoes, you connected your lips with his. Even though he tasted like chlorine (and you were sure you did, too), you wouldn’t have changed anything in the slightest. 

At that moment, everything was right. The stars aligned, the cosmos was in your favor, everything was as it was supposed to be. You both smiled into the kiss, so incredibly relieved that it was finally happening. Breaking away, you both kept your foreheads together and lightly laughed, eye contact being held still. 

“I guess we owe Chenle a thank you,” you said, lacing your fingers through Jaemin’s. 

“Yes, we do,” he hummed in agreement. You wished the moment could have lasted forever, but the headlights of a park security guard’s car put an end to the dreamlike moment. 

“Fuck,” you two hissed at the same time, jumping into action. 

“The thanks can wait until we get out of here without getting in trouble.”

#nct #nct dream #na jaemin #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #jaemin imagines #nct fanfictions #nct 2018 #nct 2018 scenarios #nct 2018 imagines #best friends to lovers

[lovemesomesurveys]

What type of bread did you use on the last sandwich you made? White bread.

& What was on said sandwich? Bologna, sharp cheddar cheese, mayo, and spinach with a bowl of some olive oil mixed with basil and oregano for dipping.

How many doors are in your house? Like 10.

Got any bad habits? If so, what are they? Biting/picking at my nails and the skin around them, biting/picking my lips, picking acne, poor self-care...

What was the last compliment you recieved, that made you smile? I don’t even remember the last time I received a compliment.

Do you ever lie to your friends? Everyone lies.

If so, do you feel bad about it after? Depends what the lie was about.

Think you need to lose weight? How much? Definitely not. I actually need to put a little on.

When was the last time you watched a VHS movie? Uhhh. According to Google, DVDs became the norm in like 2000/2001, but I feel like we still used VHS tapes for maybe 3 years after that.

What event would you go back in time to see, if you could? Hmm. That’s a tough one.

Do you remember the last thing you said you wanted? Coach did a collab with Star Wars and they have a backpack that I really like. It’s too expensive, though. 

Who was the last friend you hung out with&what’d you do together? It’s been like 4 years since I’ve hung out with anyone outside of my family.

Who is the person, other than a spouse, that you are closest to? I don’t have a spouse, so no problem there. I’m closest to my mom and younger brother.

Do you know when to use ‘to’ & ‘too’? Yes, I know how to use both. I know how to use there/they’re/their, too.

Who do you currently live with? My parents, younger brother, and doggo. 

Favorite board game? I have a few. I love board games.

If you watched it, who was your favorite 'Hey Arnold!’ character? Ha, it’s on my TV right now. I like the whole gang. 

Have any good school pictures? or do they all just suck? My early school year ones are cute. The ones from 4th grade and up are ew.

How old were first kiss? 16.

Do you ever wonder what people think when they look at you? I used to think about that a lot more. It’s weird cause like... I’m very self-conscious and my self-esteem is shit, but I really just stopped even trying with my appearance. Me from a few years ago would be mortified with me now and the way I let myself go out the house. 

Do you like trying on clothes or not? & Why? No. It takes more energy than I care to give. Or just don’t really have.

What are your thoughts on marriage? I don’t see it ever happening for me.

What was your favorite toy as a kid? Barbies.

Do you still play with it or have it? I have them stored away in the garage.

Are you currently IN love with anyone? No.

Difference between loving someone&being in love with someone? Yes or no? Uh, yeah. Big difference. 

Don’t you hate when reruns on TV are in a random order? Depends on the show. If the storylines aren’t connected then I don’t care. Like with a show like Catfish, it doesn’t matter. A show like The Golden Girls, it does.

Do you ever watch any crime shows? I watch the ID channel sometimes with my mom. That’s her favorite thing to watch.

If so, which do you watch the most/is your favorite? Various shows on ID.

Ever smoke pot? Yeah.

Don’t you hate when people you love/care about annoy you with stupid crap? I definitely don’t enjoy being annoyed.

Do you ever get frustrated&say 'nevermind’ when people just don’t get it? Yep.

Still have feelings for an ex? No.

Have you ever SERIOUSLY considered any kind of plastic surgery? No.

What was the last thing you cleaned&why? I cleaned off my bed yesterday cause my mom was changing the sheets and such. I had to move stuff cause my bed has become a storage space for clothes and a desk for my laptop, coloring book, colored pencils, phone, remotes, and Nintendo Switch. 

Don’t those weightloss pill commercials just irritate you? No.

Before taking this survey, what were you thinking of? I was irritated about something.

How long have you lived in the current place you’re living? Almost 10 years.

Do you plan on moving anytime soon, if so where? We want to, but there aren’t any plans to as of now. As soon as we’re able to we will.

Does blood make you queasy? Yes.

Do you ever walk alone at night just because, or does that freak you out? I definitely wouldn’t do that. 

What happened in the last TV show you watched? Phoebe got to move up to the 6th grade, but she didn’t end up liking it so she went back to the 4th grade with her friends. It was an episode of Hey Arnold lol.

Do you ever correct grammar/spelling errors your friends make? Only in my head. I’ll sometimes point out typos to my mom and brother, though. I just tell them personally, I don’t put them on blast.

Or do you just not care about that stuff? I don’t put people on blast for it.

Don’t you think things are getting wayyy too pricey? Yeah. 

Facebook, wasn’t 'become a fan’ better than 'like’? No.

What do you think was the best year you ever had? Childhood years.

Are you more of a follower, or a leader? Be honest. I’m more of a wallflower, ha. 

Are your dreams/nightmares in black&white or color? Hm. I honestly don’t know? 

Or do you not even remember any of them? There’s that, but also I just can’t seem to recall if they’re in color or not.

Have you ever wanted to be some sort of hero outside of videogames? No. I’m no hero.

Will you admit that you’re at least somewhat superficial? I don’t think I am.

Most attractive actor/actress that comes to mind right this second? Alexander Skarsgard of course.

How often do you go to the mall closest to you? I never go anymore. I used to go pretty regularly back when I had a social life.

What physical features can you just not stand about yourself? Just about everything.

Do you still count with your fingers, even if only every so often? I still do.

The last flavor of gum you chewed? Minty gum is the only kind I like.

Have you ever gone on a road trip with just friends? No.

What was the last thing you had to drink & was it yummy? Yeah, it’s a white chocolate Starbucks Doubleshot.

What word or words do you think you say the most? “I don’t know” and “like.” There’s more, but there ya go.

Without trying, do you act differently around different friends? I acted a little different around different people. Not in a fake way, just different levels of comfortableness and different people bring out different things in you. You might be more outgoing and chatty with one person, but more chill with another. 

What was the last thing you drew/wrote on your own or someone elses’ skin? I have no idea.

Did you know your nose continues to grow/get longer as you get older? I think I’ve heard that. I don’t recall if it’s true or not.

The last time you spent money, what was it on & how much did you spend? Christmas presents.

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on one piece of clothing? Hm. I don’t know.

Don’t you believe you’re not really a vegetarian if you still eat chicken Chicken is a type of meat and vegetarianism is abstinence from meat, so...

Who was the last person you avoided/ignored? Blah.

In elementary school, were you more of the bully or the bullied? Neither.

How much do you say you walk in a week outside of school &/or work? I spend majority of my day in bed. Most activity I have is going from my bed to the kitchen, bathroom, living room, or my parents’ room. Then there’s the doctor visits twice a month and the occasional trip to Walmart, the movies, or some other random outing.

Did the last person you talked to in person annoy you in anyway? They said something that kinda rubbed me the wrong way.

Where are you sitting right now? On my bed of course.

#personal #text #survey #surveys