#Pre-BB

[haunted-xander]

No swearing in front of the baby

#ven doesnt remember anything prior to getting the wooden keyblade (according to the novel) but this is still funny #i would play a kh game that is just mundane domestic shit with these guys set pre-bbs while ven is recovering/early training #i think about it too much #the bbs novel is a godsend it fuels me #terra #ventus #aqua #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[s0fter-sin]

it’s the sound that tips him off.

it’s late, half-past hell by his last count, and mactavish knows there shouldn’t be a single soul in the showers this time of night. though he’s sure if he asked, he’d be told a soul isn’t in there.

just a ghost.

he almost chokes on the thick steam filling the locker room; humid and hazy and the perfect cover. or it would be, if the man collapsed in the far stall cared about hiding.

mactavish hates himself a little for the low sigh that falls from his lips. he wishes he wasn't so disappointed; that the promises he's heard over and over and watched be broken as many times hadn't wedged their way into his heart and convinced him that maybe, maybe this could be the time it sticks.

he doesn't know what's worse; the disappointment or the lack of surprise.

he holds his breath through the steam and leans over the limp body; stinging hot water hitting his back, instantly soaking through his clothes and already starting to burn. he flicks the tap enough to take the bulk of the heat out and straightens; a groan startling out of the man beneath him at the sudden lash of tepid water.

mactavish crouches, knees clicking and hooks a hand under his bicep to pull him up straight against the wall. if there was any vomit on his skin, it's been washed away by the pelting stream and he supposes he can count himself lucky for that. he tilts his limp head back and slips his fingers into his mouth; holding down his tongue and ignores the way it lazily jolts under his fingers to check his airway.

clear.

another small victory.

mactavish pulls his fingers out and cups his chin, keeping him tilted up and moves in the way of the water again so he can pull at his eyelid.

the eye he's met with is cloudy, so dilated there's hardly a ring of blue left.

he sighs again; hand falling away and letting his eye fall shut. "god damnit, riley."

riley moans, all his weight resting on the hand holding his jaw.

"aye, 'm talking ‘bout you," he grunts tiredly.

he lets riley's head fall forward to grab his arm, pulling him away from the wall to sit behind him; propping his body up against his chest. he leans his head back over his shoulder, keeping his face out of the water and his airway open just in case he hasn't actually finished throwing up.

he takes the rag riley'd half-managed to soap up and mechanically runs it over him; cataloguing new bruises and cuts and checking if the old ones are healing. sickly yellow fingerprints ring his hips, red splotches paint his ribs; too new to have settled into the deep purple he knows they’ll become.

riley slowly makes more noise as he rubs life into his body; still lying limp against his front but his head's starting to roll restlessly on his shoulder. he swipes between his legs and carefully doesn't think a single thing about what he finds.

"sean?" he rasps and mactavish's hand stills; eyes falling shut. he bites his check, hand clenching around the rag tight enough to shake and breathes hard out his nose.

he doesn't say a word, just forces himself to go back to cleaning.

he's not sure what would come out of his mouth if he did.

riley isn't conscious enough to hear him anyway.

he runs his fingers over his inner elbows for tracks and manages to muster some relief when he doesn't find any. seems to be a pill and booze night; far from the worst condition he's found him in.

he rinses him off, running a curtesy hand over his shaved head only for it to fall back to his jaw; his thumb stroking over the thick scar carved into his cheek.

"you gotta stop doin' this," he whispers.

he isn’t sure if he’s talking to riley or himself.

mactavish gathers up riley's too-light body into his arms and turns off the shower. his head lolls into his throat and he throws a towel over his dripping body and another over his shoulder. it doesn't stop him from tracking water all the way to his quarters but he'd like to see someone try to put in a complaint about it.

he lays out the other towel on the bed and sets riley down; moving his body into the recovery position in an all-too familiar routine. he dries him enough that he won't soak the covers as he pulls them up to his chest and kicks the waste bin within grabbing distance of the bed.

he goes to pull off his sodden clothes when a different noise makes him freeze.

a low sniffle.

mactavish slowly turns back to the bed to find riley's eyes squinting open; glazed with tears as he kneads at the covers.

he stares at him for a moment as he looks around the room and those hazy eyes lock on him for the first time. "cap'n?"

he swallows. "aye; s'just me, riley."

his hand pokes out from under the covers and for all the promises he's made himself - all the “never again”s and “this is the last time”s - at the end of the day, he's weak.

he sits on the side of the bed and takes riley's hand in his; already so cold after nearly boiling himself alive.

"y' mad a' me?" he sniffs.

mactavish runs his tongue over his lip and slowly shakes his head. "no, i'm not mad at you."

"prom'se?" he pushes.

he reaches out and caresses his temple with his thumb. his hand almost covers his head and it cuts like a knife to remember just how small riley is. "aye," he says, hushed. "i promise."

riley's eyes fall shut, voicelessly murmuring 'promise’ to himself over and over.

"I’ll ge’ bett'r," he slurs and between one breath and the next, he's out.

mactavish sighs, running his hand in a final pass over his head and stares at a face that looks so much younger in sleep; bruised and sallow skin hidden in the shadows. "i know you will."

he presses a slow kiss to his forehead, shutting his eyes against the grief that wells in his heart and gets up to pull a chair over to the bed; settling in for another long night's vigil of watching his broken lieutenant sleep, ready to tilt him over if he throws up, eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of his chest fearing tonight may finally be the time it stops.

#drug use #tw drugs #guess whos back on her 09 shit #its me bb!!! #anyway 09 ghost who’s just completely messy #if he’s not on an op then he’s at clubs drinking & taking anything he can get his hands on #mactavish knows what he gets up to and hates it #hates watching him destroy himself stumbling back to base with no memory of what - or who - he’s done #hates seeing him prod at bruises knowing he has no idea where they came from #mactavish is more pissed that whoever riley was with just left him like that and that riley is totally fine with it happening #more than once he's found him almost od'ing half passed out in his room or the showers #and every time riley will slur out apologies and promises mactavish knows better to believe #riley knows how much it hurts mactavish to see him like this but its just so painful to live in his head #he can’t help but try and get out of it the only way he knows how #this is pre relationship btw just to make it all hurt a little more #ghost never remembers how he ends up back in his own bed after a bender #the whole point of them is to forget #he’ll end up missing days at a time and never question what happened to him in the meantime #if he thinks hard enough sometimes he can pick up flashes of a familiar voice rasping in his ear and big hands moving his body #but it’s hard for him to believe they’re anymore than drug induced hallucinations of what he really wants #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #talk to me ghost #we’re a team. ghost team #09 soapghost #09 ghoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod

[cosmic-nebula356]

Painful Memory: Embracing the Sun

"Your smile and laugh is all l'm after. The radiant sun above my blanket of winter. Connected by the red string of fate, I want to hold you close and keep you safe. May the day we never part as we stay the same. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." -Fuyu❄️

#blush blush game #blush blush #blush blush oc #blush blush fuyu #bb fuyu #Fuyu Blush Blush #Pre 9 tailed Fuyu was babygorl😔

[bigbarabelly]

Can I just say? The way you draw Chilchuck is just so?????? Wooooooow

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TY ANON!!! ;o;

Trying to make him look not like a child because he’s truly just a Dad. Mans chest hairs are creeping over that collar and arm hairs getting twisted in his watch. He’s tired and forgets he’s more experienced so he’s short tempered but so caring, not even that deep down, under all his bitchingggg. He’s fun I love him

Have a Mr. Cillian Charles Tims the tall man office guy while I work on coms

#as a hairy enough guy even pre hrt with one of those dads with the fur #I related to the chuckster on that level of OOCing this stupid rat man #he’s so ARGHHHH TO ME #trans Laios is my love as I’m a weak bb and like big men so I usually see chil as cis BUT #he’s such a good blorbo for wha te ver gender #art #Chilchuck #anon #asks #breplies #dungeon meshi

[p4nishers]

pre-fall crowley is so real bc i'm also a teenage not-girl with an attitude problem and a love for the stars

#she gives off SO teenage girl vibes as an angel i just can't explain it #no but like i have SUCH an attitude problem it's genuinely effecting my every day life like i cannot shut up when i need to for the life of #me i swear and i genuinely ask too many questions like if i was an angel my ass would've been kicked OUT before they even created hell like #i would've annoyed god with my thoughts alone don't worry crowley girl my ass is RIGHT behind u bb #good omens #good omens s2 #crowley #pre fall crowley #crowley good omens

[airenyah]

you know how pat and wai can't stand each other at first but ultimately end up friends through pat's relationship with pran? and like, esp in ep12 and the our skyy special we can see that they do genuinely like each other

well, i'd like to think that while they are genuinely friends... i'd like to think that they have a little joking hostility going on once wai and pa start dating. not in the way they couldn't stand each other pre pat getting shot, but in a protecitve older brother vs boyfriend kind of way. where pat will be all "don't you DARE hurt my little sister", you know?

#that's my headcanon 😌 #waipa #waipa headcanons #bbs #airenyah plappert #adrm #and ofc wai loves pa with all of his heart and would never ever hurt her #but i do think pat will make a joking death threat here and there #also in a sort of reference to how pat and wai used to be enemies for real #and pat will also tease pa like ''i can't believe you're dating my enemy'' #and then pa will be like ''if YOU can date an enemy then so can i'' #and pat will be like ''touché'' #bc dating your mortal enemy from pre-birth is def the bigger crime #happy april fool's day!

[akkivee]

i will miss the block party outfits for everyone tbh lol

#vee queued to fill the void #am i surprised they’re gone???? no not at all lmao #didn’t even necessarily want them to stay lol just they will be missed lol #with retrospect now you get to analyse what the outfits meant for the character in that specific block party instance lol #like kuukou's darker colours for the block party lends itself to kuukou primarily making things happen behind the scenes #and maybe could also be indicative of a scene that brought kuukou closer to or flat or embodied who he wants to become #or in the shadows so to say lol #since the outfit is his most inline monk fit yet lol #and maybe with ichiro since he’s back in black and red similar to his pre bb days #he isn’t so aimless as he was back then but he’s still in the dark about family stuff like he was back then #and with that lack of knowledge he confronts rei who lured him his way just similarly to what happened in the manga #still turns rei down lol but has proven something to rei this time but i’m kinda digressing lol but that kinda retrospect analysis lol

[carbone14]

Canons de 356 mm et mât du cuirassé USS California (BB-44) – 1938

©Naval History and Heritage Command - NH 80528

#WWII #avant-guerre #pre-war #marine américaine #us navy #marine de guerre #navy #marine militaire #military navy #cuirassé #battleship #classe tennessee #tennessee-class #uss california (BB-44) #uss california #bb-44 #1938

[mahuhumaling]

the last thing Pat wants is to let Pran slip through his fingers again.

— a drabble inspired by this fanart where Pat stays awake after the end of epsiode 4. he sits up and looks at Pran who has his back turned, asleep.

why does Pran drive him away? does he not care, did those 3 years apart mean nothing to him that he can just push Pat away so nonchalantly?

all he wants is to be back in Pran's life again — whatever that takes.

maybe it's easier to fall back on the kind of relationship they had before, instead of anything else because it's familiar: the genuine moments hidden beneath fake hostility, the teasing, the way Pran's whines don't quite reach his eyes, the way he relents at the end, as if he can never really hate him.

but now.

now maybe he's gone too far. he says he hates him, and for a minute Pat believes it.

maybe there's a pink painted line he crossed, an invisible road sign he missed, an alarm he slept through.

either way, hearing it stings. right there, in his chest. sharp. quick. the kind that makes him double over.

Pat replies with something, anything, to retort. it comes out flat, sounding more compensating than a diss.

he lays back down when he sees Pran roll over, closes his eyes even though surprisingly he's not that fatigued from the rugby game, and feels Pran tug the blanket back to his.

Pat lets him.

he stays awake, his mind not shutting down and his body still jittery.

but he has his eyes closed and feels his chest rise and fall from the breathing.

Pat opens it again and sits up. when he lays his chin on top of his crossed arms, the only thing he sees is Pran's back. he feels relief wash over himself.

at least Pran gets to rest. he knows that shoulder is still hurting him.

Pat doesn't get it.

what would it take for Pran to look at him like he did before? to talk to him as he did back in highschool?

he doesn't get it.

there's still something sitting on his stomach, heavy, unidentifiable. he can't figure out what.

but maybe if he sleeps it off, he eventually will.

maybe tomorrow, he thinks as he inevitably dozes off, succumbing to the night.

maybe tomorrow.

tomorrow when he wakes up, he'll realize why.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #bad buddy the series #bbs #patpran #saturn #i once tweeted this before #but pat's characterization in his pre-realization is excellent because #the only thing worse than being hyperaware of your own feelings (pran) is not being aware at all. #pat being kept in the dark by his own emotions is so heartbreaking to me #i've never experienced it because i'm more the pran type #but it must hurt. to just /not know/. and to always ask why #if you look at pran's actions from pat's view he always seems so cold. and pat wants nothing more but warmth. #so how would he get there? how would he earn it? #...he doesn't know #like there's always something missing. a void in his heart

[sophfandoms53]

Putting Ratcole, Cameron, Frankie, and Cauliflower on the same level of legendary status as Britney, Taylor, Danielle, Josh, and Xavier is kinda nuts imo

#like you have the queen of the DR #whom also could’ve won bb14 had dan not had his funeral #you have one of the greatest strategic minds and also a master of the DR #our first black winner whom was part of the first all black alliance that all got to the final 6 #our first female black winner whom showed sm grace and resiliency her entire season and won AFP #im not even the biggest josh fan but he was entertaining and knew how to work the jury and strategize in bb19 even with paul’s help #and his pots and pans thing ofc #then you have fucking ratcole who picks men every time and sobs all the time #cockroach cameron whom was protected by production all season via the edit #cauliflower whom had bb22 incredibly rigged in his favor from before night 1 #and then you have frankie who’s incredibly annoying and is struggling behind his sister’s shadow clearly #the imbalance is crazy #Also only 2 ppl from pre-modern BB…. #danielle and brit😭 #girlies and taylor don’t fail us now #even tho ik this is gonna be rigged for the dudes #especially cody and Cameron 🙃 #bb25 #bbrg #big brother reindeer games #big brother

[haunted-xander]

Terra voice how do I tell my teacher slash parental figure I think the new kid might be a victim of child abuse

#i think about pre-bbs ven way more than i should #i had a rant for the tags written but internet fucked up and it didnt post and now i cant be bothered to write it all again #just know i have feelings. a lot of them #terra #aqua #ventus #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[rogueshadeaux]

GUYS

#death shroud #fallout 4 #Paladin Danse #my phone autocorrects Danse now it’s insane but ALSO #HE REMEMBERS!!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE THE WHIPLASH PRE-BB DANSE MUST BE FEELING #I do not care if this isn't canon like. the idea that danse had a glimpse into it all is. wwow. wowowowowow.

[plateauofmemories]

Anyway the vibe I always got from Yen Sid in Kingdom Hearts is like. He took up keyblading for a while, as like a side pursuit maybe? But obviously he didn't slouch about it, he put in enough work to make master. And then he took on one apprentice (Mickey) and trained him up some and then was like, cool, I think I've given enough back to Keyblade Society, that was an enriching extracurricular for my sorcery studies, but I am now Retired From Keyblades.

But then like, every other master dies, or goes evil (and then presumably dies until it turns out he didn't), or ends up in the Hell Dimension, so Mickey keeps showing up on his doorstep with multidimensional keyblade problems and it's just like. There's no one else to send him to! And it's not like you can totally actually offload all the responsibilities you accepted by taking on the title of master, even if you "retire", a thing keyblade masters don't actually seem to do.

So like. Okay. He has to be involved. But he is absolutely not Drawing His Fucking Keyblade, okay. He's retired.

#platextsofmemories #kingdom hearts #yen sid calling up eraqus pre-bbs like. can you please get a grip on your ex at least until your pupils make master #eraqus could not 😔

[arsocalum]

Waving at the human to get his attention, a cheerful expression came on the knight's face at meeting someone new. "It's super swell to meet ya, I'm Goofy!

The wave got his attention as Terra stopped whatever he was doing and responded to the wave and the greeting with his out, yet also a question. "Name's Terra. What brings you to the land of departure?" It was uncommon to get surprise visitors, but not unusual so Terra didn't ask anything more. "If you are looking for master Eraquis he's away at the moment." His best guess for Goofy being here.

#-{: under the same stars :}- pre-BBS #I have not played the KH3 REmind dlc and therefore do not have a more suitable verse atm #faithfulservantoftheking

[crehador]

parting thoughts on rhyme anima s2

was it good? no. was it hypmic? also no. did i enjoy the hell out of it anyway? HELL YEAH for the most part

look i don't think it's controversial to say the rhyme anima characterization is eighteen flavors of fucked, but you know what? the blorbos are moving and talking and being silly and that's a fun enough time for me

yeah there are moments of mischaracterization that are egregiously bad, but i guess overall i don't. idk. fully regret watching

really bummed that the 'main' plot is actually quite compelling but just completely misplaced imo. like the whole thing with akira and satoru could have been such a good story on its own, in an original series, while here in the ridiculous clownfest that is rhyme anima it just feels so out of place

i'll never really understand why the anime refuses to just adapt the drama tracks but whatever. it just feels strange and... impractical? to have bits of the 'main' canon sprinkled in here and there with like. zero payoff lol (like what was that glimpse of the ramuda clones that was just NEVER ADDRESSED AGAIN, and are we really not going to let certain people talk to their fathers and a certain other person talk to their mother like hello)

anyway

tl;dr laughably bad but it's the blorbos so fine whatever. i guess i liked it. (i didn't. but let's pretend)

#crab watches #hypmic #parting thoughts #in all fairness there was at least like one yamada family moment that was kind of endearing and felt on point #(saburo being kind of bratty in the 3gumi ep) #and in all fairness 2 i'm not actually expecting dice to talk to otome in the first place lmao #but it's all just. idk. it's fucking weird i guess #that this was set after the 2nd drb #for no particular reason as far as i can tell?? like #if they'd just pushed this in BEFORE 2nd drb #it would have made more sense that a lot of these plot points are... not yet addressed? #though i guess that would come with its own problems lol #like if set pre 2nd drb then really they would've had to do bb seeing rei for the first time #but simply NOT ADDRESSING IT and setting it after 2nd drb is TOO FUCKING FUNNY #ok. anyway. whatever. retreating to the safety of main canon now

[metalforhands]

this probably seems like a stupid question but about that post about danse, does he really canonically fall in love with sole before blind betrayal? i never really put an official marker on when it happens but i'd like to see your take on it and also maybe what the character implications are for him and sole that you mentioned

omg hi!! it's not stupid at all! i'm more than happy to delve into danse's voice lines again. i’m in a danse mood and it's been a while >:)

fallout 4, at its core, is heavily reliant on the choices the player makes. so there are different timelines. in some timelines, sole and danse don’t meet at all. in some timelines, danse’s relationship with sole is strictly platonic. in some timelines (ie the timelines where sole fails their charisma checks when flirting with danse) he does not show signs of liking sole early on. you get my point. it’s worth noting this is how it works with the other romanceable companions as well.

however, if you pass all of those charisma checks for the romance options, he does (imo) show signs of being flustered and having feelings for sole before blind betrayal. for the rest of this post, i will be talking about this specific timeline. 

and of course, this is just my own opinion, and it has been a while since i’ve typed up fo4 meta, so i very well may be missing something. with that in mind, onwards!

let’s talk canon first. here’s some lines from his second affinity conversation.

{player flirted with you unexpectedly (positive response) / Surprised} I... I didn't know you felt that strongly about our... well, about us.

[player had just flirted with you / Apologetic} I'm sorry if I seem... confused. You've certainly given me something to think about.

danse’s feelings more than likely kick off around here. this conversation is interesting - for context, it’s the one about cutler. it’s at this point that danse finally opens up to someone, and admits that he considers sole to be as close to him as cutler was. so, when sole flirts with him, danse (who does respond positively) becomes flustered, and mentions that it’s “something to think about”.

knowing him, he probably did, in fact, Think About It.

then his third affinity conversation:

{Flirting} It's comforting to know that I can speak to you as more than just your commanding officer.

the above is said independent of sole flirting with him, and it does have the “flirting” marker in the files. just something interesting worth mentioning. okay, continuing on.

{Surprised the Player has flirted with you / Surprised} I.. I don't know. I never thought you'd ask me something like that.

{Surprised the Player has flirted with you / Surprised} It would depend... on the circumstances, but I suppose we'll just have to see what happens when the time comes.

danse acting shocked sole is showing interest in him is a reoccurring trend we’ll be seeing often. it’s a self worth thing. danse’s lack of self worth is something that seeps into every aspect of his character, and it only worsens when he finds out he’s a synth. but that’s besides the point.

for context, this is the conversation about danse’s lack of confidence in his abilities, and the situation involving haylen. sole is asking if he’d be willing to hold them if they ever needed it. 

and danse does try to flirt back here. in his uh. own special way.

i think danse being noticeably flustered in these conversations, and even entertaining any of this to begin with, is evidence enough that he’s like. pretty into sole before blind betrayal. danse isn’t a flirt. he isn’t a philanderer. he takes his role in the brotherhood seriously. it’s like, his whole sense of purpose. he would quickly shut down anything that could jeopardize that... like, for instance, a romantic relationship with his subordinate.

like, even during his romanced post blind betrayal dialogue, he says this:

We can't let our relationship interfere with our work. It just wouldn't be right.

if these are his thoughts when they’re dating, and not even in the bos together anymore, imagine how he’d feel when he was still their co?

and like, danse is danse. he’s not very expressive or well spoken about his feelings. so again, the fact that danse of all people is acting flustered and entertaining anything (ie not shutting down sole’s flirting) pre blind betrayal says a lot.

now onto my own thoughts.

i really like how the game sets this up. danse doesn’t sponsor sole with any ulterior, romantic motives. he genuinely believes in their abilities as a soldier. it’s only until they become close friends that he starts showing signs of liking them.

and this is why sole not being able to romance danse until after blind betrayal, and after he is no longer their commanding officer, is very notable to me as well. i feel if they confessed to him before blind betrayal, he would.. probably turn them down, even if he had feelings for them. that’s just the kind of guy he is. it’s not really the best time, and i feel he wouldn’t want that kind of inappropriate power imbalance. if blind betrayal never happened, i feel he would wait until they were of equal rank, or until the bos’ job in the commonwealth was finished.

additionally, sole not being able to romance danse also implies they’re not willing to make a serious move outside of harmless flirting. not until danse is out of the bos, anyways. so take that as you will.

now onto post blind betrayal thoughts. 

i feel that, in this timeline, while danse did have feelings for sole during blind betrayal, he was also literally suicidal. it was not the time to be thinking about romance; he had more... pressing issues at hand. if anything, i feel like his feelings would only strengthen his self loathing at this point.

this is semi confirmed during his final affinity conversation:

{feelings confused / Surprised} Are you saying you're... in love with me?

{feelings confused / Puzzled} This doesn't make any sense. After everything the Brotherhood taught you, how could you be in love with... well, a machine?

Player Default: You're not a machine, Danse. In fact, you're more human than most people could ever hope to be.

as mentioned by the little note for his voice actor, danse is very, very confused post blind betrayal. he’s all but given up on the thought of sole having any interest in him, let alone interest in being his friend. so when sole outright confesses their feelings, he is baffled.

further supported in another one of his romanced lowered affinity conversations:

{Concerned} When you revealed how you felt about me, I have to admit... I was caught off guard.

{Concerned} Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I wasn't pleased to hear it. I just never had anyone profess their feelings towards me that way.

so in conclusion, i feel there is evidence for danse having feelings for sole before blind betrayal, and i feel blind betrayal itself was so life shattering and insane that it kinda threw a bomb at their whole situation.

my own personal way of handling danse post blind betrayal is waiting a bit before romancing him. i feel danse needs some time before entering a relationship, and i feel the dynamic between him and sole at this point would just be really angsty mutual pining LMFAO.

but yeah! i hope this was fun to read at least, because i had a lot of fun writing it! thank you again for the ask and feel free to ask for clarification on any of this! danse post blind betrayal is a whole other essay of its own, so i tried to stick to pre blind betrayal! ;D

#fo4 #paladin danse #meta #asks #I HOPE YOU LIKE AN ESSAY I'M SORRY #BUT YEAH #this is also why i hc danse as demisexual #his feelings for sole only surface once an emotional bond is established #and this is very obviously his first relationship #so interesting stuff me thinks #in terms of 'love' before bb... i think that's a very broad term. but my demi hc does come into play here. #i think he had very serious feelings for sole pre bb as he does not strike me as the type to have casual crushes #nor the type to entertain casual crushes