#Posted one thing on here three years ago & proceeded to forget about the blog entirely

[myrfjola]

comfort watch. Turns ten this year, I think?

#Posted one thing on here three years ago & proceeded to forget about the blog entirely #as you do. I draw regardless so I suppose I'll dump stuff here sporadically (though a bit more frequently now tht i remember it exists lol) #sweeney todd #emma thompson #bryn terfel #sondheim #digital art #drawing #sweeney todd: the demon barber of fleet street #procreate #musicals

[holdvns]

hi friends ! i’m farah nd im coming at u live frm the pst timezone to bring u a new muse of mine. so excuse me as i ramble abt holden under the cut. like this post and i will come bother u for plots?? that or u can im me on here or on my discord (farah#1263), whatever works rlly! anyways, super stoked to be here and to get to write with u all!!!!

(TOBY WALLACE, CIS MALE) - Have you seen HOLDEN DONAHUE? HOLDEN is in HIS JUNIOR year. The PHILOSOPHY MAJOR is 21 years old & is a TAURUS. People say HE is QUICK-WITTED, DARING, IRREVERENT and DETACHED. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that HIS FATHER PAID OFF THE SCHOOL TO CHANGE HIS GRADES AFTER HE FAILED FOUR CLASSES LAST SEMESTER FROM NEVER SHOWING UP.  (FARAH. 22. PST. SHE/HER.)

pinterest board / tag

holden grew up between upstate new york and manhattan in an extremely wealthy family. from the outside, his family had the appearance of perfection, but underneath that facade lay years of shocking and hidden family secrets that one way or another got out into society, even if his family tried to put them down as merely rumors.

his father is a highly respected but also deeply feared business man/media magnate known for his cutthroat attitude in his business dealings and personal relationships. he had an extremely difficult childhood, having been orphaned at a young age and passed from relative to relative around europe, many of whom were not very kind to him. still, he was incredibly intelligent and wanted to make something of himself, having this belief in the american dream and wanting to move there if he ever got the chance. after attending college on a scholarship, he was able to use his connections and move to new york, where he founded his own start-up that eventually led to him building his own personal fortune.

his mother was very much a hustler. she grew up poor in new york and at an early age, learned how to use her good looks to manipulate men for the finer things in life. she had a short stint as a model before she met holden’s father, charming him enough to call it quits with his first wife. underneath her obvious beauty, however, was a fiery temper and substance abuse problem. the thing about her was that she really wasn’t made to be a wife and mother. holden’s father thought he could turn her into this perfect socialite/housewife (marrying her and then proceeding to have his older brother, cal, and holden in a very short span of time), but the task proved impossible. she was always only looking out for herself and didn’t enjoy being tied down, certainly not with kids to take care of despite the nannies his father provided. they fought constantly, and their home life was extremely unstable. it was a normal occurrence for holden to see his mother being dragged off to an institution by his father’s security guards or for his mother to use him and his brother as bait to get his father to give her money for drugs, to leave him, or sometimes just to try and get back with him.

eventually, she finally did leave, having told holden and his brother the three of them were moving to los angeles, but leaving without them and dying of a drug overdose shortly after. holden was about six at the time and thinks he has successfully hidden this entire episode from his memory, but it’s definitely something that affects him whether he likes it or not.

although his family claims this was merely just a rumor, it was often said that there was some foul play behind her death and that his father had some involvement, not wanting her to ever leave him and move on with her life. while holden deep down may admit that this could be the case, it’s never something he would really say.

at this point, his father rarely talks about his mother and when he has, he has poisoned her memory so much, holden feels like he never really had one. when he was younger, he’d often make up stories about her in his head, which were far different than who she actually was. it helped at the time, but after a while it was easier to just forget her altogether.

while his father cares deeply for his children and has provided them a life of ease and luxury, he’s certainly not innocent in all of this mess. he’s extremely manipulative and often psychologically traumatizing to them as well. he often finds his children to be lazy and ungrateful and resents the way they’ve been raised (even though it was his own doing), while he suffered from poverty and abuse in his own childhood. he often pits the two of them against each other, always trying to see who’s the stronger, smartest, who will do whatever it takes to be the best, especially because there’s always talk about who’s going to be the one to be the one who’s going to take over when he retires. it is usually said to be his older brother, because it’s no secret that he’s his father’s favorite.

because of this, holden and his brother never really got along. or so it seems. they did when they were younger, but their hatred runs so deep that the even thought of that feels like a distant reality. they’re only two years apart, but they couldn’t be more different. while his brother is a complete perfectionist and will do just about anything to please his father, holden gave up on that idea along time ago. it didn’t matter what he did, he never seemed to be able to measure up against his brother. maybe it was because he was younger, maybe it was because he was more sensitive and seemed to feel things at a deeper level, maybe it was because he wasn’t as competitive, or maybe there was no explanation why his father simply liked cal better. holden’s never seemed to figure out. he’s always felt like the screwup of the family, so eventually that’s what he became.

he started drinking and using drugs at an early age, basically trying anything to mask his pain and trauma. while his brother excelled academically and in sports in high school, holden never applied himself. he fell in with the wrong crowd and gave up his spot on the football team to run around the streets of new york and engage in all kinds of debauchery. it was common for him to disappear for days on end, spending his father’s money and racking up drug and gambling debts. obviously his father wasn’t happy about this and would constantly remind him of that, but he didn’t exactly do anything to stop him either. if this was a cry for help or attention, it didn’t exactly have the desired effect and only left holden feeling empty. 

he started dating this older hippie girl who was in college while he was a senior in high school who influenced him to want to detach from his family and money and the crowd he was running in. he kind of... took it to the extreme and started talking like timothee chalamet in lady bird lmao, even though he reeked of privilege. honestly, it was just another way to annoy his father and brother, which was always his goal at the time. they ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, but he kept some of her ideas and mindset afterwards.

after high school, he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do. so he ran off to europe for a year and didn’t talk to anyone from home. just traveled around by himself with little money and getting into all kinds of trouble. he probably would’ve stayed longer, but one morning he came across an american newspaper while he was in greece reporting on how his father had suffered a heart attack. he rushed back to the states and luckily his father has survived, but in that moment of weakness he manipulated him into attending college. his father pulled some strings and got him into yates, and while it isn’t exactly his idea of fun, he’s taking it day by day and looking it as another way to push back actually having to enter the real world.

~ personality wise ~

acts like he hates his family, new york, and everything that comes attached with money and privilege, but completely reaps the benefits of all these things when he can. claims everything having to do with high society is vapid and that he wants more out of life.

a bit of a compulsive liar. will make up fake identities and pretend to be other people or tell people he doesn’t know some sob story about growing up poor. rlly just gets off on stuff like that and doesn’t tell the truth. like ever.

doesn’t always like people knowing how rich he is or who his father is. for those that do know, he doesn’t like to talk much about his family. probably won’t ever say a word about his mother.

has no real ambitions in life or any sort-of life plan. has switched his major at least 10 times and never goes to his classes.

very much a hedonist. likes to party and hates being alone. hooks up with too many people and finds it very difficult to be in any sort of real relationship. he’s just not reliable or faithful enough.

also goes through phases where feels like he doesn’t connect with people? or that he hates everyone?

always attracts chaos of some kind. black eyes from a fight over kissing someone’s girlfriend or owing his drug dealer money.

lives life day by day. doesn’t plan for the future. usually always drunk or high.

kind of... morally ambiguous. with the way he was raised, he doesn’t see life as black or white. it’s sort of grey. usually doesn’t do the right thing, usually doesn’t feel bad about it... but there is a heart there somewhere. he just doesn’t usually care enough to use it.

rlly tries to avoid feelings as much as possible. he’s actually quite a sensitive person, but after being constantly told that makes him weak by his father and having a robot of a brother he’s always felt ashamed by that. so he uses his vices to try and not feel things.

wanted plots

hook ups, fwbs, exes, someone he cheated on, friends, enemies, someone he owes money to, someone who knew him grew up and knows his family, someone he actually rlly cares about (romantic or platonic)...i’ll add more to this when i think of more things!

#yatesintro #death tw #addiction tw #drugs tw

[drpepperhateblog]

Riot Games Sexism: Source Collection

Article: Inside The Culture of Sexism at Riot Games

Some excerpts:

“Both male and female sources have described seeing unsolicited and unwelcome pictures of male genitalia from bosses or colleagues. One woman saw an e-mail thread about what it would be like to “penetrate her,” in which a colleague added that she’d be a good target to sleep with and not call again.”

“Another said a colleague once informed her, apparently as a compliment, that she was on a list getting passed around by senior leaders detailing who they’d sleep with.”

“One of Riot’s male senior leaders regularly grabbed his genitals, the source said, adding, “If he walked into a meeting with no women he’d just fart on someone’s face.””

In disbelief? Here are some witnesses, with both former and current employees confirming what’s happening:

Multiple tweets from MiniWhiteRabbit

“Multiple women confided in me about being sexually harassed at work. About their asses being slapped, being groped at parties, or being raped at Riot events.”

Riot Tiza tweet

“Tough to read this but this is dead on about some problems in our house.”

Xylese tweet

“I’m fortunate to have an incredibly supportive manager, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I have colleagues who’ve dealt w/ and still deal w/ this shit. I’ve had my own share of bad experiences here, too. I want that to change in Riot and in the industry.”

FFMirhi tweet

“I can assure you that the vast majority of testimonials in this article are true.”

Gogo Usagi tweet

“I worked there for 3 years and I'm still recovering, honestly.”

ScarizardPlays tweet

“I wanted to mostly be quiet and let other people speak but if my voice helps lend any credibility to the _staggering_ amount of sources cited here: this isn’t overblown ‘sensationalist kotaku garbage’ or whatever redditors love to say. Even the bits you can’t believe? it happened”

Yonah tweet

“I was so idealistic & hopeful when I joined Riot. I really believed the hype. And I left so broken I’ve been in therapy for years.”

Devongiehl tweet

“Happy to see all of this finally brought to light. I left three years ago, but Riot still has has a long way to go.”

DanielZKlein comment

“Sorry to state the obvious, but none of this is fucking acceptable. These people should at the very least have been put on a personal improvement plan or be fired. This is infuriating.”

UPDATE: Daniel Z Klein has further confirmed that the information in the article is true (link to multiple tweets), also confirmed what happened to Yonah (link), and made several retweets such as this:

“Not every single woman at a company has to have experience harassment for it to be real. The Kotaku piece was a result of months of thorough investigative journalism.”

In addition, there were questions raised about whether the person in the article could really have 16 game consoles plugged in. Here is proof that it’s true.

UPDATE 2: Riot Ghostcrawler comment on the controversy:

“One of the challenges of situations like this is that plenty of people have been fired for things that were described in the article. I have personally fired people for it (and I did it at Blizzard too). But you don't often go around communicating that fact, often times because you are trying to protect the victim of the harassment.

That is definitely not to say we have addressed every problem mentioned in the article.”

Not a current or former Rioter, but e-sports journalist Richard Lewis had something to say (tweet) about the article:

“Remember how I told you 2 years ago there was an inherent issue with sexism at Riot Games and we'd need to wait for the NDAs to start dropping off before the truth come out? Looks like today might be the day.” 

Meagan-Marie tumblr post

Some excerpts:

“Soon I began to notice gendered language regularly being used among male Rioters to insult each other. Guys would tell each other “not to be such a girl” and call one another “p*ssies” quite regularly. They would casually refer to women as “b*tches” and say that “all women were crazy.” I also overheard a group discussing how a female professional made it far in the industry, suggesting she “sucked c*ck to get to the top.”

“I didn’t go out with colleagues after events because strip clubs seemed to be a common destination. Asking me what age I lost my virginity at was deemed appropriate conversation during a team dinner, and employees I didn’t know prodded into how my sex life worked in a long-distance relationship.”

“Rape became a punchline to jokes quite frequently, including one instance where an employee went on for several hours about how he was going to rape his male colleague, who was his hotel roommate. He was graphic in exactly how he was going to rape his roommate, who was a new hire, and it was obvious that the individual in question was extremely uncomfortable.”

“A senior staff member proceeded to repeatedly call me sexist for not being willing to room with a man I’d never met before. At first, I thought he was kidding, but he continued to make arguments to his point. I explained why I would be more comfortable sharing a room with another woman, and told him I wasn’t enjoying the conversation and would leave if I was continued to be called sexist. The conversation continued, with him eventually saying that my unwillingness to room with a man was the same as not hiring a woman due to her gender.”

“I regularly witnessed lewd comments about women passing by at events, discussing their level of attractiveness, whether someone would sleep with them, and guessing if they were the age of consent.”

“At least three times Riot Dublin employees made inappropriate comments via work email about a female cosplayer’s breasts (one they regularly worked with).”

“Cosplayers have also been called “tr*nnies” and “attention whores” by Riot employees at events.”

“In meetings, I was told that we shouldn’t put cosplayers on stage to play League live, because they are mostly women, and therefore not very good at the game.”

If there was any doubt of the validity of these stories, this tweet from Riot Games themselves washed them away:

UPDATE 3: Katie De Sousa tumblr post

“Not too long after I started at Riot, the topic of sexual harassment came up in a conversation among a few Rioters on the art team, I was there, just listening. They were talking about something that had happened to a woman there, and I had no context for it, but was surprised when one of the guys on the team claimed that “she liked the attention”. The subject was then laughed off. I later found out what actually happened, a female employee received super inappropriate texts from a lead. This group of dudebros laughed it off and made her the villain.”

“I also can’t help but think I would have felt more empowered if I wasn’t told by a male coworker that “Women don’t fit into a male hierarchy.” Maybe I would have been more inclined to strive for greatness if I wasn’t dismissively called a “pretty pretty princess” when my first champion, Jinx, did so well (among a bunch of other thinly veiled jealous verbal barbs). I actually went to a lead to express my frustration over this and he said “Yeah I can see why he’s acting like that, I mean I’m kind of jealous too.” What was that about women speaking up again?”

“Not too long into my career one of my male coworkers might have thought he was giving me a compliment when he decided to tell me about how great some of the guys thought my breasts were. I had made the foolish mistake of going to a Riot pool party, wearing a swimsuit, and swimming. I hope I don’t have to explain how violating that felt, at any rate I learned my lesson, and I never attended another.”

“My days might have been a bit easier to manage if I didn’t have to stifle my rage when a male coworker would explain to me how to make designs for women, and how to be a feminist. Realizing that they believe their opinion as a dude meant more than, I don’t know, my entire lifetime of experience as a woman?”

“Even the Riot Dames email group didn’t feel like a safe space, when we were discussing the lack of female characters in esports promos a senior lead decided to chime in and question whether women deserved to be represented, they haven’t really earned it yet, as pro LoL players were all male. Oh, and on the topic of men thinking women are inherently lesser and must prove otherwise, let’s discuss another gross habit: saying “you’re really good at _______ for a chick.””

UPDATE 4: Barry Hawkins blog post

“The sexual references by straight men directly towards other straight men were a more complicated issue. It would often be homosexual in nature, but could also be sexually aggressive toward your significant other. You might be talking to a leader about conflict with a peer, and they’d respond with “man, you’re acting like he had sex with your wife.” Or they might start a paragraph by saying “Now for instance, if I fucked your wife…” and then segue into what they were actually supposed to be saying. The homosexual variants would be things like “well if he sucked your dick, would you feel better about this?” or “it’s not like I’m asking you to suck my dick, but I’d be OK with it if you did.””

“The next day, one of my former direct reports and her direct report, both of whom I was actively mentoring, asked to speak with me as soon as I could. We met up right away, and they were visibly upset. One of them said to me, “There’s a rape joke in some of the recruiting material, and they’re saying it’s something that Brandon said at the offsite. Is that true? Did he say that?”  I think I took a deep breath, followed by a long sigh. It was a simple question, with a simple answer, but with that answer came grave implications.“Yeah, he did.””

“I will never forget changing planes in San Francisco the following Monday. I pulled out my phone to check email, and found replies to the email I sent Brandon, but not only him. My original email had apparently become a thread with some folks in leadership. I recall it mentioning that hyper-sensitive people who didn’t understand intent were a problem we needed to address at Riot. I closed that email thread, and immediately below it there was a meeting invite titled “Riot Voice and Sense of Humor” set for when everyone returned from the company trip. The invite included the co-founders Marc (my boss) and Brandon, the head of Communications, the head of Legal, and myself.”

“The head of Legal did speak up and asked if we were concerned about legal liability. She was seated to my left, and I was seated on Brandon’s left, where he was at the head of table. Brandon extended his arm past me and held up his hand in front of her and hushed her, saying we were not going to talk about that.”

UPDATE 5: Riot Games Apology Statement: Our First Steps Forward

#riot games #league of legends #sexism #misogyny

[aviationfiction]

XVI

Dante St. James

“Future’s at the club tonight. Fredrick and I are going to pass through. I know you have to finish up that proposal, so sit this one out.”

My eyes slowly panned over to the one paper ball that inevitably failed me out of the seven that I’d thoughtlessly tossed into the trashcan. I suddenly had the urge to ball up the other twelve pages of one concept I’d mustered up for the Cartier Christmas campaign. They often say physical activity is the most strenuous task one could force on the human body but that’s absolutely inaccurate. It’s thinking. Sending our minds into overdrive can craft up some of the most brilliant ideas that will contribute to continuing to make this world a so called better place or it can send a person free falling off of the nearest bridge and into the deep abyss. I’ve been planted on his counter stool for nearly six hours transitioning from small spurts of satisfaction to major moments of doubts about the entire project. I’m often referred to as the visionary of the company but I’d quickly take that title and hand it over to the next man or woman if it were simple enough. There are few things in this world that are better than a fresh mind and idea. To be progressive is to be groundbreaking, forward thinking, and a pioneer. There’s a constant need to move the world forward; it is our purpose as human beings to constantly push the envelope so those of the present can enjoy the fruits of our labor and those of the future can further expand it. The whole entire point of marketing is to put your creative mind to work and to nurture the imaginations of those tuned in.  It is that part of my job description that remains as the most challenging part.

“Why are you working on a Christmas campaign this early? Shit, we’re just getting towards the end of Spring. You feeling festive already?” Mike placed another handful of waffle fries into his mouth and he obnoxiously chewed on them while chuckling at his own commentary. “You ready to pull out that stale ass artificial Charlie Brown Christmas that you sit out on the table every year? Yo, actually, I don’t know why they’d put you of all people on a Christmas campaign for any company. You’re a jolly green giant ass Grinch. You’re a light skinned Ebenezer Scrooge. You hate Christmas.”

“I don’t hate Christmas.” I’ve chosen to center this year’s Cartier Winter Tale around it’s timeless symbol, the Panthère de Cartier. I’d envisioned the emblematic cat frolicking around in an enthralling cloudscape above Paris to the sound of Bring Crosby’s infectious and rousing classic “Here Comes Santa Clause”. While sitting in my kitchen today, I’ve also added in the touch of the infamous red Cartier boxes toppling over and slowly floating down within the city like dancing and whirling enchanting snowflakes towards festive Parisians. If that doesn’t send women into an overdrive of need and men into the stores to fulfill their requests for thousands to millions of dollars in dazzling jewels, I don’t know what else will.  

“Yes you do. You buy gifts out of obligation and you hide out here on the most family oriented holiday of the year after Thanksgiving. No, actually, Christmas is first.”

“If I hated Christmas I wouldn’t put up a tree to begin with.” He snorted while raising his left eyebrow and he quickly shook his head.

“That shit’s not a tree. It looks like twigs glued onto a pole. Only someone who hates Christmas would call that nonsense you sit out on the living room table a tree.”

“You know why I barely celebrate the holidays. This isn’t new.”

“Because you’re a Jehovah’s Witness and have yet to come out with it?” Instead of aiming another paper ball at the garbage can, I beam it at Mike and nodded in satisfaction when it collided with the side of his head and fell onto the opposite side of the island.

“Come on man. Fred and I offer you to come and kick it with our family all the time and you decline. I do Christmas at my house every year.” “I came to your house on Christmas two years ago. Remember? We played Uno with your cousins until you won because you kept being a sore loser.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. I had to beg you endlessly for days to show up and you showed up that night, after we’d already opened up all the gifts and eaten Christmas dinner together because you’re a grinch. You looked like the only dumbass sitting at the table eating food by yourself.”

“I always eat at the table.”

“I always eat at the table.” He mocked the sound of my voice and screwed up his face at the proper etiquette. “Whatever man. Get yourself a real tree for Christmas this year and don’t skip out on coming to my house. As a matter of fact, spend the night. I’ll keep reminding you until December. I’m about to get you back into the holiday spirit. I know you’re not having kids until you’re like sixty seven and it’s going to be some oops moment that happens between you and a twenty four year old post mid-life crisis, but we need to work on getting you back into the groove of things now.”

“Sixty seven? Fuck you man.” I couldn’t help but to share a laugh with him over that insult and he shrugged his shoulders and playfully shot me a side eye.

“Unless there’s someone on your radar right now.” He didn’t have to say the name for me to know exactly who he’s alluding to. He hasn’t stopped alluding to her since the day I introduced the two of them.

“Don’t start your shit dumbass.” He smirked and as he wandered off into deep thought, his face transitioned into an earnest expression.

“Speaking of your girl, TMZ had an article up about her pending divorce today. It was somewhat of a hot topic for Stacey when we spoke on the phone earlier.” I panned my eyes down towards the papers scattered in front of me and immediately reached to take a sip of the Gatorade sitting to the left of my arm. Mike is easily Stacey’s go to person for all things gossip and pointless. Initially, I took his need to be on track of all the gossip within the entertainment industry to be apart of his job as an entertainment lawyer, but now I know about seventy percent of it is nothing more than him being nosy and proudly childish. He and Stacey often sit around like two school girls giggling about something U.S. Weekly printed, debating about the rank and relevancy of artists, and shamelessly participating in whatever “Black Twitter” is talking about. I couldn’t care less about who Taylor Swift is dating, what outlandish statement Kanye West has recently made, or whose nude pictures were exposed. As ridiculous as some of their lives are, I respect people’s privacy. I undoubtedly respect Autumn’s.

“She’s not a celebrity. Why are you two keeping track of her divorce?”

“We’re not. It just so happen to be an article. Also, it’s not only on TMZ; a couple of sports blogs have been keeping track of what’s going on. Though they use the word source, I know a lawyer’s anonymous tips when I see them. The article was written in a manner to mock her rather than to be informative. I shouldn’t expect anything decent from a website like TMZ, but there was a sarcastic tone to it. That was the tone of her lawyer rather than of Harvey Levin and his team of writers.” He balled up the wrapper his Chic Fil A spicy chicken sandwich came in and did just as I’d been doing; he turned it into an imaginary basketball and effortlessly shot it into the trashcan. “She hired Sorrell Trope and I know his ego. She caused him to take a loss. She made the decision to not take anything from Coach Harr, although the prenup was thrown out. He gets the house, both cars, jewelry, any money he placed within their joint bank account, and he does not have to pay any alimony whatsoever.”

“Jewelry?” My head slightly jerked back at the revelation and he nodded his head to reassure me in what he said. I’d never heard of a man wanting jewelry back from a woman at any point during my nearly thirty years of living. What exactly do you do with it?

“I’m not sure if he asked for it or if she suggested that she wanted him to keep it but it’s being said that jewelry is apart of the settlement. I’ll never forget when I was in law school and we spent a few weeks studying divorces, the laws that work for them, the laws that work against them, and the proceedings to get through them. I’d been like a damn war between the men and women whenever we’d have lecture discussions about what is owed and what people are entitled to when there’s wealth and profitable assets at stake. You know Nas is my guy and I’ll never forget that initial Kelis settlement. He was ordered to pay fifty one thousand dollars a month in child and spousal support. Shortly after that, he was ordered to cough up another three hundred thousand dollars in attorney fees and accounting expenses. Then the judge slapped another hundred thousand dollar order to pay up back child and spousal support. That shit left me baffled. The crazy part about it is, that wasn’t enough for her. She was initially asking the judge to award her with ninety thousand dollars a month settlement.”

“Why would she want or need so much? She’s an artist in her own right. Well, at the time she was.”

“Yeah she was but she hadn’t made the money that he did. In the case, it was reported that he was spending an estimated fifteen thousand dollars a month on lavish entertainment, gifts, and vacations. She believed that she was entitled to maintain that lifestyle post divorce. Now, you know that I’m fair. I’m all for child support, of course, I stand behind spousal support when it’s done the correct way and it makes sense. I have to shake my head and disagree with some of the absurd requests and settlements but overall, I’m for it. I say all of that to say, what the hell is Autumn doing?” The expression of bewilderment on his face left me speechless and I shrugged my shoulders. I have no answer for him. She already explained to me why she willingly signed a prenuptial agreement and I understood her stance. If I’m aligned with her way of thinking, I’d have to believe that she’s walking away knowing that she loved him and gave it her all. I suppose that’s enough for her.

“I don’t know Mike.”

“She’s a nice person man. He started a new family within the marriage. I don’t believe in karma, I believe in justice. No crimes were committed but whether you stand in front of a preacher, priest, rabbi, or a judge, there are vows and they should be upheld.”

The pain within her eyes often rattles me whenever I have the courage to stare into them. Whether she’s merrily explaining some comedic story from her past, eagerly stating her basketball preferences, or genuinely offering me her perspective and advice about whatever I’ve revealed about myself, the pain is there, lingering between the two of us and silently coercing me to wrap my arms around her petite frame and consume every ounce of it within myself so she no longer has to walk around with such a heavy burden on her shoulders and heart. She tends to go into a daze and her face contorts from a grimace to a disheartened expression that she eventually forces herself to become poker-faced about it. It happened a number of times during our dinner in Miami, as she stared out at the calm waters and admired the view. At one point it took me gently brushing my finger tips along the smooth skin of her hand to regain her attention and rather than using words, she laced her hand around my own and slightly squeezed it to assure me that she was fine. I don’t believe her husband understands the severity of his actions; most men wouldn’t. We’re hailed as leaders, profound thinkers, and pioneers of advancement but we are by far the most simpleminded of the two genders. We don’t see beyond the surface; emotionally. We’ve yet to conquer that and it’s why women, in my opinion, will always have the upper hand. He won’t understand what he’s done until one less person loves him. He’ll feel it when she’s unbelievably happy and he is nothing more than a piece of the past being outcasted by a better future.

“She’ll be alright.”

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

I gathered all of the documents into my hands and properly aligned them before sliding them back inside of the folder. I couldn’t spend another hour focusing on that campaign and it didn’t need anything else from me. Anything more could either taint it or be overkill. Cartier has never been anything less than impressed with my efforts for their company so I don’t expect a change now.

“Did you handle what I asked you to handle?” Mike glanced in my direction and abruptly paused. He then nodded his head as he finished off the last bit of lemonade in his cup.

“You know I did. Real talk, why are you doing this?” Silence fell between the two of us as we locked eyes with one another and I eventually glanced in the direction of the windows as he awaited an answer.

“Because I don’t trust them.”

We didn’t take the conversation any further. The friendship between the three of us has always stood on short explanations or none at all with plenty of understanding to go around. Whether we comprehend it or not, we stand together and offer relentless support. Our partnership is in tact business wise and most of all, personally. Much more than Matt, they’re the brothers that I need and am grateful to actual have.

“Alright Al B Sure, I’m heading out. I got a little something something happening tonight, so I need to go and get ready.”

“A date? Who’s torturing themselves by allowing you to take them to Chuckie Cheese?” We snickered at my response and he stuck up his middle finger immediately after.

“She’s a paralegal from the office.”

“You’re screwing your paralegal? That’s scandalous.”

“Says the man who’s attracted to his flight attendant. Besides, she’s not my paralegal and we don’t work on the same floor. Also, I’m not screwing her.”

“I’m not attracted to my flight attendant.” He whipped his head around in a dramatic fashion and offered me the most blank expression he could muster up on his face. He continued to stare as I raised an eyebrow at him and he slightly dropped his head to the side and awaited a moment of truth from me.

“Man, Stevie Wonder can see that you’re attracted to that woman. Are you forgetting that I was there that night at the club? I watched how you looked at the monitors, following her every move. I saw the body language between the two of you, mostly from you, at you stood there damn near whispering in her ear about God knows what, because you’re never going to tell me. Lastly, I saw you flinch while you watched another man approach her and offer to buy her a drink.”  

“You did not see me flinch. Do you ever stop exaggerating?”

“You flinched. I know what I saw. Lie if it makes you feel better.”

“I don’t lie.”

“Well, you just told one. You flinched. I’m out of here. We’re balling as soon as you come back from Paris. It’s interesting that you’re going to the City Of Love with…” Before he could finish the statement, I pushed him in the direction of my apartment’s door and pointed at it.

“Be gone man.”

“Enjoy yourself. Have a safe flight and overall trip as well. I want to hear all about it when you return.” I couldn’t contain my laughter at the smirk on his face. I won’t be telling him anything. There will be nothing to tell. By the time I finish giving him a run down of the couple of days I’ll be there, he will have interrupted me half way with a rolling of his eyes and a onslaught of phrases describing how boring I am.

“Yeah, okay. See you at the court when I get back. Bring your broken ankles.”

“Kiss my ass.” We parted with our usual handshake, and he was out of my door; slamming it in his usual fashion.

In an effort to have some genuine leisure time, I chose Netflix and eventually an order of my favorite dishes from a Chinese restaurant to consume the rest of my Sunday. The restaurant I order from is no where near the condominium I reside in but we’ve build a strong enough relationship for them to go out of their way to deliver what I prefer; of course with a nice tip. With the campaign proposal out of the way and Mike off to tend to his date, I could finally continue the Netflix series Autumn raved about. During our flight back from Miami, she praised House Of Cards for nearly a half hour. She explained just enough detail about the political drama to garner my interest and it resulted in us watching the first two episodes of season one before we landed.

House of Cards and Chinese food today. I’m going to try to binge watch the rest of season one.

I tapped the play button on the remote control and rested against the back of the chair as the text message alert sounded off within the living room.

Let me know what you think while you’re watching it. Chinese food on a Sunday? You don’t know how to cook.

I laughed at her very matter of fact statement and nodded my head. It is kind of pathetic to be having Chinese food on a Sunday but I’d take that over my other option any day.

Correct. I can’t. I know how to make survival meals and that's where it starts and ends for me.

In college, I survived off of Ramen noodles, fast food, and occasional trips to the cafeteria. Every so often, if she could catch me, my mother would drop off groceries and Tubber Wear bowls filled with whatever she cooked over the course of the week. Friends enjoy it far more than I did. If I wasn’t buried in the books, I was in lectures halls or over at A&M learning the ropes of the company from Richard and Matt.

Survival meals? Ramen, Chef Boyardee, turkey sandwiches?

All of that. I snickered at the thought of the Oscar Mayer smoked turkey deli meat sitting on the top shelf in the fridge right now.  As I tapped the message box to reply, the knock at the door halted me. Fredrick would show up out of no where and interrupt this whole entire process. It’s his style. He’s the only person I know who can easily find something wild to get into on a Sunday afternoon. With the weather being warmer, I’m sure there’s some rooftop party or outdoor brunch that he knows about. Actually, knowing him, he’d want to sail up the Hudson on a self thrown booze cruise.

“What do you want man?”

I quickly opened up the door only to be met with a face that wasn’t owned by the debonair that is my best friend. As I shifted my weight to my right foot, my mother slowly removed her cat eye style sunglasses to reveal the gleam in her eyes. They matched the smile on the lower half of her rosy face. A small sigh slipped past her lips at the sight of me and she immediately used the tips of her toes to plant a wet kiss on my cheek.

“I’ve missed you my son. Look at you. I swear you take on more and more of your grandfather’s looks everyday.”

“What are you doing here mom?” Without any regard, she slipped past my frame and entered my apartment. She halted midway through and took in the place; looking for something to either criticize or compliment.

“Well, you don’t come to me for Sunday dinner, so I’m coming to you. I have some groceries here and I’m going to make you a meal.” I stopped myself from rolling my eyes by glanced down at the floor and I nearly cursed under my breath as I listened to the sound of heels prancing across the marble flooring. My second option on Sundays is to subject myself to having dinner with my exhausting family. With every swallow of the sub par meal she prepared, I’d be tormented with their questioning, unnecessary commentary, and an argument as the finale. We’ve shared occasional peaceful moments but the bad outweighed the good by a landslide win.

“You don’t have to do that. What’s Richard, Matthew, and Camille going to have? They eat at your house every Sunday.”

“I already cooked at the house and they’re more than welcome to stop by and have what they like. Today, I’m going to make a meal for my youngest boy and figure out what the hell is going on in his life since he doesn’t bother to contact or visit me.” Her tone softened at the conclusion of her statement and I didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt about what she said. Though she may play the oblivious role, she knows and understands what our relationship has been through and why it’s in the weakened state that it is now. There’s no need to pretend.

“There’s nothing going on in my life that you don’t already know about.”

“Nonsense. I’m going to make a vegetable lasagna. Is that alright?” I shrugged. No matter what I say or do, she isn’t going anywhere and I’d rather allow her to make the lasagna than to argue.

“That’s fine.”

In her usual fashion, she covered the island and the counter top near the stove with all of the ingredient needed to create her meatless baked pasta and finally glanced over at the black Beats Pill bluetooth speaker.

“Can you hook my phone up to that thing? I don’t know how your father does it but I’m sure you get it. Bluetooth it is?” Her thick England accent filled my ears and I grabbed the space grey iPhone off the table and tapped in the all too familiar numerical password; she and Richard’s wedding anniversary. Rather than asking her what she’d like to listen to, I opened up the Spotify app and turned on Elton John’s greatest hits. I’ve heard enough of his music over the years to be able to embarrassingly mumble the words whenever it plays.

“So how’s work?”

“You’re really doing this right now?” With a roll of my eyes, I leaned against the island and stared at her as she grabbed three pots off of the hooks of the stainless steel pot rack above her head.

“Doing what? Am I not allowed to ask you general questions about your life?”

“Ask Richard about work. Whatever he tells you is how it’s going.”

“I hear about about Richard’s days at work . I live with the man and I sleep next to him just about every night. He shares the details of his day with me every single day. I’m asking you and I expect an answer. This is what it’s come to? You’re giving me difficulty about a simple question? You’re far too old for that.” She glared at me and deliberately dropped the final pot she retrieved down on the counter.

“I’m not going to argue with you. This is why I always walk away in the first place.”

“Well then answer the question.”

“Work is work. I do what I have to do and I get out of there. Tomorrow afternoon I’m heading to Paris for a meeting with Cartier. I’ll be over there for a couple of days.” While leaning over the cutting board, she began to organize bell peppers, carrots, mushroom, asparagus, broccoli, and spinach.

“I remember the first time I took you to Paris. You were only three years old and my God, you developed an obsession for creme brûlée after the first spoonful of it. For the week we were there, we had to have it every single day; that and Parisian flan. I spoiled you. You had dessert more than you had actual food but it was such a good time and you were so adorable. You still are adorable but at that time you had the chubbiest cheeks and they were always so rosy. My goodness, don’t get me started on the curls and that huge smile. You were melting hearts everywhere we went. I had the pram with me but you insisted on walking. You nearly ruined the women’s section at Harrods when we were out with your dad.”

Of course she’d mention a trip to Harrods. I don’t know how much love and sexual relations could induce a woman like my mother into remaining a mistress for so many years out of her life. There had to be more and Richard’s pockets were exactly that. My maternal side of the family aren’t apart of the English working class. The elders were not factory workers or rural farmers. My great grandfather owned four factories while his wife worked as a well renowned seamstress in her own shop. My grandfather served in the British Army and achieved the rank of a four star general; the highest rank a man can achieve as a serving officer. My grandmother was a teacher. I don’t understand where my mothers sense of entitlement comes from. I’ve always heard the stories of her being spoiled rotten but I’m not sure what encouraged her to fall for Richard and his schemes. In her social life before him, I’m prone to believe she encountered plenty of men of wealth, so why him? Their relationship is why I’ve never met my grandparents. I used to believe it was because of the affair but I’ve never met them because Richard is black. They’re ashamed of her and I fall in that particular line of criticism by black blood and association.

“Yeah, I usually have both at some point while I’m there.”

“It’s a beautiful city; the most romantic city in the world. I swear I fall more and more in love with your father every time we go.” I pulled my lip in between my teeth to refrain from responding to her. The sound of the knife hitting the cutting board was far more pleasant than that particular statement.

“How are the guys?”

“Fred and Mike?”

“Well who else would I be talking about? They’re the only friends you choose to have.”

“They’re fine. Mike was here earlier and left because he had a date. Fredrick is home spending time with his girlfriend.” She glanced in my direction briefly before returning to the task in front of her.

“I look forward to the day when you’re introducing me to someone that you’re dating or in love with. Have you met anyone?” Though I continued to lean on the island, I straightened my back and shook my head at the question. I should have known that it’d transition as soon as I mentioned the words date and girlfriend. Though Stacey’s prying ways can be overbearing, there is a comedic relief to it. My mother can easily become insulting without any regard for her words or tone. After throwing my age in my face, she’ll began to point out certain aspects of my personality that may not appease women. Finally, she’ll began a endless guilt tripping session about her own age and my lack of concern for both she and Richard meeting their grandchildren before they’re six feet under the depths of the earth.

“Have I met who?”

“A woman. Have you met a woman that you’ve taken a liking to? Who else would I be speaking about? Unless there’s something that I don’t know.” I scowled at the expression on her face and glared into her inquisitive green eyes as she implied a fallacy about my sexuality. She’s no different than Richard. They’re a match made in hell.

“Are you implying that I’m gay?”

“I’m not implying anything.”

“Yes you did. I’m not in a relationship. I’m not screwing around or intruding on people’s relationships and marriages, nor am I gay. I’m not your only son. You should talk to the one you coddle so much about these grandchildren that you want so badly. He’s married. I’m starting to think that it’s not even fertility issues that Camille is having. It’s infidelity issues. Maybe if your darling son would stop screwing women at the office and within the cities that he travels to, he’d find enough time to lay down with his wife and create a child. I guess you’re not going to talk to him about that because you can relate, right? Hey! You may have a grandchild soon enough, but I’m not sure if it’ll be coming from Camille. We’ll see.”

At full force, she slammed the knife down and it immediately bounced off the wooden board and crashed onto the floor. The disdain on her face matched my own and she scolded me by shaking her head.

“You are impossible. You do this every single time we’re in the same room as one another. I am constantly putting forth the effort to salvage a relationship with my son! Do you understand how that feels? I worry about you. I think about you every minute of every day. I have to sit back and guess what’s going on in your life because you won’t talk to me. If I’m not guessing, I’m calling up Stacey or I’m asking your father what’s going on with you. It’s ridiculous to have to call up your assistant to ask her, hey, is my son okay! What do you want from me Dante? My life is already chosen. I’ve made my decisions. You cannot be mad at me for them. You lived a good life. You were too young to understand anything that was going on and by the time you were conscious of it we were a family. I just don’t understand why you’re like this. I can understand Matthew, but you?” As she ran her fingers through her loose curls, I chuckled at her despair.

“I’m sure you can understand Matthew. You’ve thrown yourself into kissing his ass and overcompensating for what you did to his family. You’re mommy dearest to him and you bust your ass everyday to keep up with the act. I was shipped off to Westminster School just so you can focus all of your precious time and attention on coddling him so he’ll love you and stop acting out. Get off my back. You don’t know me well enough. I’m over this. Throw that out and see yourself out.”

I left her in the kitchen and retreated to my bedroom before the inevitable argument could go any further. With her mind wallowing in oblivion, whatever is left of our relationship will continue to slowly burn out. I don’t hate her; I never have. I have a distaste for her lack of responsibility and avoidance of being held accountable for everything that’s happened within this family. Oddly, I can accept Richard having no remorse. He basks in being full of shit and being an arrogant asshole. He doesn’t sugarcoat his words or actions. My mother is a character and she’s one that can entertain and impress anyone but myself. When she finally looks into the mirror and understands who she truly is, what she’s done, and what it means, is when I’ll be able to deal with her on a consistent basis. Until then, I’d rather our moments together be brief and without many words.

I spent a half an hour lying across my bed before returning the kitchen. My requested was granted. She’d thrown away all that she’d been chopping up and neatly packed away the rest of the groceries she purchased inside of the cabinets and refrigerator. After a call to the Chinese restaurant, I returned to the couch and the episodes of House Of Cards that awaited me.

Frank Underwood is a cold man. How the hell could he just push the girl in front of the train like that?

I awaited her answer as I finished off the last bit of the perfectly seasoned and grilled chicken satay. After indulging on the entire season one, it was a no brainer to let season two begin streaming on my television screen.

I told you that you’d become addicted. Don’t become a couch potato, eating General’s Tso Chicken, and binging on Netflix because of me.

I snickered at the thought of it. If only I had the time to do so. Doing it today is something rare for me. I haven’t relaxed like this in ages.

If only I had the time to do it. What are you up to? How’s your Sunday?”

I pressed the pause button on the remote, while staring at my phone and awaiting her answer. Suddenly House Of Cards became an afterthought.

It was alright. I cooked dinner for my family, packed for Paris, and I’m now I’m getting ready for bed.

I glanced at the time. It hadn’t even hit ten yet and she’s already preparing to call it a night. She rubs me as more of a night owl.

Have you ever been to Paris before?

While standing up, I grabbed the empty container and sauntered towards the kitchen to dispose of it.

Nope, I’ve never been. I’ve been to London for the Olympics and that’s about it. I thought about going to Paris once the Olympics were over but it never happened.

As my temporary assistant was scheduling the trip for me, Autumn came to mind and I figured she’d give me the exact answer that she just did.

I set a day aside for sightseeing and anything else. We can make it two days, if that’s okay. Maybe we can go to Disneyland Paris or the National Museum of Natural History?

My stomach fluttered as I awaited an answer to my overeager requests. Beads of perspiration began to dance along the back of my neck, causing a ripple of chills to slithered down my back.

Or both? Can we do both?

A smile played along my lips and I nodded my head as if she could see me.

Yeah. Both sounds good. Do you always go to bed this early? Your sleeping schedule’s going to be thrown off with this trip.

Rather than returning to the couch, I hopped up on the counter and stared at the unparalleled view of New York City  from my kitchen window. The view is what sold me on this place.

I do when I want to run. I usually run around six in the morning so I try to get a goodnight’s rest to be energized enough to go a mile or two.

No wonder her legs are flawless.

You run track?

When we shared a bit of information about our high school days, she never mentioned being an athlete to me. I wasn’t one either but basketball remained as a hobby of mine ever since I was a kid in the city hanging out at the Boys and Girls Club after school, even when I wasn’t supposed to.

No. I run just to clear my head. I picked up the hobby about a year ago and it works. It’s exercise and therapy all at once. Being decent at it is an added bonus.

Makes sense.

I should try that. I usually play basketball to get a work out in but running might be the move.

I barely get in the gym. Fredrick damn near drags me whenever he can. I’m naturally skinny. I’m muscular enough…I think. Either way, I don’t care for it as much as I should.

Running? Ha! Can you keep up?

I raised an eyebrow at her question. Is that a challenge?

Of course I can. Remember who has the longer legs. I’ll smoke you with no apologies.

The thought of it lingered in the back of my mind and I chuckled. I’d let her win. Her gloating would be far more entertaining than my own.

Long legs with no speed. You’re going to have to prove that at some point. I’ll race you to the Eiffel Towel or something. See you tomorrow?

As I slouched forward, my fingers lingered on the screen a bit before I typed a reply.

Yes. See you tomorrow.

I returned to my couched and allowed Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright to continue entertaining me but it’d been a waste of time. As I lay there staring at the screen, the contents of the show never reached the depth of my memory. All I could think about is tomorrow.

Hues of the sunlight peaked past the clouds and lightly casted upon the marble flooring and blackened furniture in the living room. The sound of the television ceased hours ago and it was just me, staring up at the dark ceiling and reveling in the silence of the my home. With every deep breath, came a much need release and though I couldn’t sleep, my body remained still and comforted in it’s relaxed state. I tapped my fingers along the back of my phone while pondering on the idea or rather joke I’d been contemplating in my mind for the last two hours. My reluctance and a tad bit of insecurity tap danced on my conscious but the desire to act overpowered it.

As soon as my finger tapped FaceTime video call, I swiftly sat up on the couch and turned on a lamp to brighten my surroundings. She answered me within three rings. My heart viciously thumped within my chest and my eyes slightly widened at the sight of a sweaty and heaving Autumn as she stared at her screen in an amused manner. Her long tresses were pulled back into a slick ponytail, her appealing face free of make up yet effortlessly glowing, and a pair of ear buds rested in her ears while the black wire nested along her chest and trickled down between the napes of her breast. No jacket or sweater covered the neon orange sports bra hugging her upper body.

“You interrupted Aretha Franklin.”

“I called because we’re running. You’re running and I’m on the phone, so technically we’re running.” A smirk first. Then a smile. Next a blank stare. As soon as I smirked, she slightly slouched forward and I was left with an obscure view as she cackled. Her infectious laughed left me in the same state and the harder she laughed, my own continued to heighten. I didn’t expect her to find it this funny but to say I’m glad she did would be an understatement.

“You’re so full of it for that. Really? Like….really?” My breath suddenly became caught in my throat as her face reappeared on my screen and her gleaming smile resulted in my stomach twisting into the tightest knot.

“Go ahead and run. I got my timer right here on the phone. I’m about to turn it on so I can clock your time and eventually beat you.”

“That’s never happening. What, you scared?”

“Never.”

“Alright then. Race me fair and square sir.”

“Say no more. I’ll do that and win.”

“Alright then. Prove it.”

“Where are you running at anyway?” She briefly looked around as she jogged along and she glanced at the screen.

“My neighborhood. Well, my folk’s neighborhood. I run locally. I see the same ol’ people and the same ol’ sights but it works for me. Have you slept? You wake up this early for work?”

“House of Cards kept me up.” A half lie. Well, a white lie. Technically I was up watching the show.

“Addicted. I knew it. You should sleep. I know we have a long flight later but sleep anyway. You need it. You work too hard.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I’m going to continue feeling like a natural woman as the Queen of Soul sings it while I run along and you’re going to count some sheep. Alright? See you in the air.”

“Are you dismissing me?” I smirked as she laughed.

“Bye Dante.”

After a double beep, my screen returned to the call log and I pressed the lock button. Her boldness continued to make me laugh as I finally stood up to go and get that sleep that she suggested.

I knew tomorrow would be better.

#j. cole fanfic #j cole fanfic #j. cole fanfiction #j cole fanfiction #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #rihanna fanfic #rihanna fanfiction

[kxronue]

The Crimson Pendant.

//Or, in other words, most of my headcanons regarding Kuronue’s pendant and the reasons why it was “something important” to him, important enough to him to put his life on the line to try to retrieve it. Some I had posted years ago, some others I kept forgetting to do it (I’m the worst mun, considering I’ve been running this blog for over 4 years now and I’ve also had this muse for 5 or so, ha). It’s going to be a long post, kids, you’ve been warned.

For the new readers/followers/visitors, it’s worth noting that my Kuronue did not exactly die in the bamboo trap. His body was dragged out of it nearly lifeless by orders of the owner of the fortress we see in the second movie (Honoo no kizuna/Poltergeist Report) and put in a dungeon where his health was restored via black magic, his youki sealed by the same means, and spent years locked away, suffering different sorts of torture at the hands of this man and his subordinates. Clarifying this because it’s related to the main subject of this post.

First things first: He got it from Kurama. The “full” story you can find here.

Neither of them knew exactly just what kind of powers or abiilities it held or if it even had any.

Kuronue was the one who chose to wear it despite Kurama strongly advising against it several times for obvious reasons. The bat had (still does) a strong liking for the little shiny object and the glowing red stone on it. The fact that it was a “rare” only added to all of this, too.

Aware that Kurama isn’t exactly the kind of person who believes in things such as luck, Kuronue started referring to the pendant as his “lucky charm”, just to tease the fox a little, cause they had always been little shits to each other since the beginning, and neither seemed too keen on the idea of changing their ways on that matter, not so much at least, even if there now was actual respect between them.

“Perhaps it IS a lucky charm...” Kuronue once mused out loud, time -years- after he’d first started referring to that piece of jewelry as such, holding the blood-red pendant by its chain, examining it for a moment in the dim lights of the room both, him and Kurama, were resting in after a particularly big and successful heist. They were still far from being as infamous as they would later become, yet they had been gaining more and more power, wealth and respect (mixed with fear from other youkai most of times) among other things for a long time. Of course they both knew it was due to their hard work and skills combined, yet, Kurama never said anything against such musings -not outside their usual back and forth friendly shit giving at least- from then on.

Unknowingly, the more Kuronue wore the pendant, the more it fed not only from his energy but also from his soul, taking a small part of it’s essence and storing it within more exactly, something that didn’t cause any pain or discomfort to the bat, hence why Kuronue ignored what was going on.

Neither of them were aware of any of that until several years later, when they found out some information on the pendant through some acquaintances they made along the way. These youkai specialized on buying and selling all sorts of artifacts, rare magic ones among them, and as such, they had a vast knowledge on the matter. One of them showed great interest in Kuro’s pendant and even offered a big amount of golden coins for it despite it’s current state at the time -light scratches on it’s surface, mostly, all of which had come from his daily activities, of course-, an offer that Kuronue turned down on the spot. The other youkai didn’t push the subject any further as soon as he learned the bat had been wearing it for a while now and proceeded to reveal what he knew about it, which was basically how it works (same I’ll explain in the following bullet points).

What started as a shocking truth soon became something completely different. While it certainly had some big downsides (as they both would learn the hardest way several years later), having “part” of one’s soul in an artifact like this crimson pendant wasn’t as bad as it could seem at first since this item was made mainly for healing purposes. Putting it short, it was a healing aid for it’s owner and a greatly reliable one as it worked directly with the owner’s energy. While not exactly a substitute for traditional healing techniques, Kuronue appreciated that greatly regardless as he’d sometimes come home with a wound or two (or three...) after a job; the artifact making it easier for his body to recover in a shorter period of time than it normally would.

It was also mentioned to the thieves that, once the owner dies, the energy and essence within die as well, leaving an empty “vessel” that not always can be used again by someone else.

The pendant can also be used to store determined amounts of youki and hide them within so they can’t be easily sensed by others thanks to a spell in it (being the owner himself and youkai with high magic skills and knowledge on this piece and the specific spell on it the exceptions to the rule). The spell can be broken if one wants to either turn the pendant useless or be able to use it for themselves, but it’s difficult to do such thing given the “rare” origins of this item and, hence, the lack of information about it.

With that said, it’s easy to understand why no one showed any real interest in it during the time Kuronue was kept prisoner after the bamboo trap incident and how he was able to keep it with him all the time regardless of some of his captors knowing of it’s existence. Much to the bat’s fortune, they all dismissed it as “a useless trinket” as well as “some sort of emotional comfort” (the latter being not entirely wrong) and thus decided it was best to let him keep it for a while, that way he’d have something to cling to so he didn’t end up giving up and letting himself die -they wouldn’t let him die just yet anyway-, which essentially translated into more time for them to "have some more fun” with him and as a way to make sure Kuronue always had a reminder of better days and a little hope of ever making it out of there. Then again, it’s impossible to break a spirit if there’s no spirit to break.

Talking about the imprisonment time, the pendant played a key role in his escape. As some of you know, Kuronue’s youki was almost completely sealed all the time he was captive, leaving him only pretty much the amount necessary to live. The small extra amounts of youki his body managed to re-gain/regenerate sometimes, he stored them within the pendant, hiding them from everyone around, waiting for the moment when he’d finally build up a decent amount of energy and for a chance -the only he’d ever have perhaps- to try and fight his way out.

In the movie, it was never mentioned if the pendant Kaiki (the youkai that impersonated Kuronue) was the real one or a fake one so, in my headcanons, it’s safe to say Kaiki’s was a fake one while the real Kuronue had the real pendant with him all the time.

With all of this I’ve mentioned so far, it’s easy to see why Kuronue refused to leave his pendant behind while trying to escape the fortress that, to this day, represents Kurama and Kuronue’s last heist together. Had he left it behind, his fate would’ve changed drastically, excruciating relentless pain and a consequent death being the biggest possibility of all if the pendant was destroyed for, basically, part of his soul would’ve been crushed, most likely causing the rest of it to eventually shatter along with it, causing in the end (and I’ll quote SH1 here) a fate worse than death, as there would literally be nothing left from him. No soul, no spiritual remains, no nothing to go to an afterlife/heaven-hell/whatever you want to call it after leaving this plane -keep in mind that, in the yyh universe, there is an afterlife-.

If you asked Kuronue if he still thinks of his pendant as a “lucky charm”, he’ll right away tell you that he does, without a doubt. However, it wasn’t always like that as there was a time he experienced mixed feelings towards it (by now you should have a good idea as to why).

#Kuronue #yyh #Yu Yu Hakusho #yyh rp #;long post #[had some fun digging through my muse's memories yesterday. sadly he can't say the same lmao] #[sorry there's no read more this time guys. tumblr won't let me insert one if there're bullet points for some reason] #[given the nature of my muse as well as him being a rp one I'll have to ask you not to use these headcanons for rp purposes #nor to claim as your own] #[however if you /really/ want to use any. ask me for permission first pls and thank] #;headcanon #;basics #pendant

[daleisgreat]

Diamond Dallas Page: Positively Living

Earlier this year three-time WCW World Champion, master of the Diamond Cutter and yoga sensei, Diamond Dallas Page received his long overdue home video biography from WWE with the release of Diamond Dallas Page: Positively Living (trailer). The biography is only a little over an hour, but it surprisingly hits almost all the notable points of his life and career, and the collection receives the standard extra feature treatment with several hours of bonus matches spanning his entire career. The brief time spent on Page’s childhood years growing up is an inspirational watch as he explains how he had to overcome hurdles such as ADD, Dyslexia and a car wreck at age 12 that wrecked his knee. Page explains how the car wreck left only sport left for him to play was basketball and stated how he was awful at it initially but over many years of practice made the high school’s starting squad. From personal life to professional life it goes to show the theme here is hard work pays off.

I recall reading how DDP was in the night club business, and Page goes into how he spent most of his 20s running night clubs and experimented with wrestling briefly before an injury in his second match got him to exit the business for the time and go back to the club scene. Even though they are now divorced, many fans remember DDP’s ex-wife Kimberly being a big part of his career as his on-TV manager, and WWE interviewed her for the video and she goes on to state how they met at one of Page’s bars and how their relationship evolved. I read Page’s autobiography, Positively Page, that came out all the way back when he was still in WCW in 2000 so I am a little familiar with his early life and how he broke into the business, but that was 17 years ago so this BluRay is a handy refresher and I gleamed many new things throughout. If you are unfamiliar with Page’s journey you may be surprised to learn he broke into the wrestling scene late, and did not make a TV debut until some connections from the night club scene landed him a manager gig in the AWA in 1987 when he was 30. They have clips of his manager tryout video which are awesomely-cheesy, and they are included in their entirety in the extras. WWE interviewed Scott Hall, Eric Bishoff, Terry Taylor and Goldust about meeting DDP in the clubs and helping him land his first job in the AWA.

DDP spent his first five years in the business as a manager in AWA, FCW and WCW, and even had a Wrestlemania VI cameo that DDP reveals on how it came to be. Hearing Page’s story on why he took up wrestling at age 35 and making his proper in-ring debut at the end of 1991 is one of the highlights of the documentary. It seems like an impossible task to start training at that age, but over the years Page kept plugging away and kept putting in the time to get better and the results are easily apparent over the years on how he became a top player in WCW. The documentary spends a little time with him progressing over this time, but the extra features are where it is more noticeable where they include a couple matches from each year of Page’s career. Page’s memories and respect for Dusty Rhodes are among my favorite parts of the bio. Page loves him, and I was all ears for the few big Dusty stories Page peppers out throughout the biography on how Dusty helped him out and motivated him throughout his career. A lot of time is spent on Page emerging as a breakout main event star in WCW in 1997 by feuding with the nWo and his intense rivalry with Randy Savage that lead to a classic series of matches with him. Hearing Page relive his success with Macho Man had me nostalgic for that era and that rivalry was one of the few things WCW did right among their ‘Monday Night War’ success. Ditto with Page recounting his super-successful run teaming with Karl Malone to take on Dennis Rodman and Hulk Hogan at Bash at the Beach ‘98. I had no idea until hearing Page state here that it was WCW’s highest grossing PPV of all time.

The documentary moves along to DDP winning his first WCW World Title at Spring Stampede ‘99 and Page has a good tale on how he met his goal to reach that milestone. I was not so surprised Positively Living skips the final two years of his WCW career since that was when WCW was in a downward spiral to its demise, but there were still a few interesting DDP moments from that era I would have liked to hear Page comment officially on such as his other celebrity team-ups with Jay Leno and David Arquette and DDP’s time teaming with his friends Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Kanyon in the Jersey Triad faction. Additionally, the Ready to Rumble film is a guilty pleasure of mine and I would have loved to hear DDP’s memories of being the primary WCW wrestler used in the movie. This clip from a shoot video interview will have to suffice instead. His final year in his full time career where he jumped to WWE following the WCW buyout is briefly touched on, and Page tongue-in-cheek admits he was not too big on how the whole ‘stalker’ character was handled but stated he tried his best to make it work. I am a big fan of his ‘positive’ character he introduced later on in 2001 and DDP said he was too and how it was an amped up version of himself. Kimberly has a nice memory of Page walking in and out as a champion at Wrestlemania X8 was a good bookend to his career.

Fans of DDP knows Page has had a ton of success post-wrestling with his yoga business. DDP & Kimberly go into detail about forming the yoga business after yoga helped DDP recover from injuries and after a couple rough early years their hard work turned DDP Yoga into a big success. I am glad they do not gloss over this part of DDP’s life as it has been tremendous for him and the countless others he has helped in the proceeding years. I vividly recall hearing how DDP was starting his yoga business and immediately scoffed at it and all the clichés that go with yoga. Then I heard and saw the success stories (DDP helping Jake Roberts in this Netflix doc is must-see!) of it with wrestlers like Scott Hall and Jake Roberts. Finally, after hearing Chris Jericho vouch for it on how it helped him recover from a back injury last year I took the plunge and ordered the DDP Yoga DVDs when I was dealing with some shoulder issues. After a few weeks I was surprised at how much better the shoulder and my general well being improved. Now, a year later I still routinely do DDP Yoga three times a week. The documentary has a nice final chapter where DDP and his current wife Brenda are interviewed about how they met and how DDP is a proud stepfather. The WWE production crew also capture DDP’s genuine raw reaction to Triple H calling him and informing him that he would be inducted into the 2016 Hall of Fame class in a emotional scene that once again proves that DDP’s mantra of hard work does indeed pay off. I went into a lot of detail than I anticipated for an hour long documentary, but DDP was one of my ‘Monday Night War’ favorites and for the most part I like how this biography was handled.

There are 22 matches to indulge in the extras, or 27 if you go the BluRay route. Again, I really like how the first several matches feature Page in his early part of his career teaming with other before-they-were-stars talent such as Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Raven, Cactus Jack and Buff Bagwell in the early 90s. DDP is very green, but the matches just go to show for far he improved over the years. He has some breakout matches from 1997 in here that established him as a main event player with bouts against Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan and Curt Hennig. His standout PPV headlining encounter with Bill Goldberg from Halloween Havoc ‘98 is here in all its glory, and to this day I still think DDP got the most out of Goldberg in the ring. Both of DDP’s celebrity tag matches from 1998 are in here where he tags with Malone and Jay Leno. The match with Malone actually has some surprisingly decent action, and Jay Leno is wisely only used for comedy spots (minus his armbar of doom). Not-so-surprisingly his tag match with David Arquette is not included. A couple of excellent US Title matches with Bret Hart are however, as well as both matches that saw him lose and regain the title from Sting on the same night (I will never forget being there live for those two matches and going nuts for that first match against Sting!). The extras close with DDP’s successful European title defense against Christian at Wrestlemania X8. I give Positively Living the highest of recommendations. Minus a few nitpicks mentioned above, I was really happy with the biography since it covers almost all the major parts of his personal and professional life thoroughly and it has nearly most of his major matches included as well as a few hidden gems. Whether you were an avid fan of DDP or not, his unorthodox journey and inspiring message is one that should be witnessed by all fans. Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor V RoH Supercard of Honor VI RoH Supercard of Honor VII RoH Supercard of Honor VIII RoH Supercard of Honor IX RoH Supercard of Honor X ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Sting: Into the Light Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28 Wrestlemania 29 Wrestlemania 30 Wrestlemania 31 Wrestlemania 32 The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016

#Wrestling #wcw #WWE #AWA #DDP #Diamond Dallas Page #scott hall #Kevin Nash #Christian #kimberly #dusty rhodes #Randy Savage #hulk hogan #goldberg #Karl Malone #jay leno #eric bischoff

[retrovergo]

In late November, I posted here about the fact that, in the wake of the fire, as much as it pained me to do so, I would have to cancel the annual Vintage Secret Santa, as it was simply impossible for us to conduct as usual under the circumstances. I announced such with a heavy heart, but took solace in the fact that hopefully it's a fun tradition that we'll be able to revive again here in future years. Little did I know that more than a month before I penned that post, my good friend Barbara (one of the tiniest handful of fellow vintage lifestylers to be had here in the Okanagan region of British Columbia) and Tony had teamed up for what proved to genuinely be one the biggest and most incredibly heartwarming surprises of my entire life. Together they had taken it upon themselves to contact all those who took part in 2015's VSS to let them know about the situation (re: the fire, VSS being cancelled, etc) and to suggest to past participants, if they were so interested, that they could send me a VSS holiday season gift instead of the usual swap between randomly assigned partners. Mind blowingly sweet of them, I know. From late October to December 24th, I was completely in the dark about this incredibly thoughtful act - including the fact that Barbara and her husband (also a vintage lifestyler himself) were super kindly allowing their house to be used as the address to which participants in what had been dubbed "Jessica's Vintage Secret Santa" (complete with a private Facebook group of the same name) could send their gifts. On a snowy, yet sunny, bracingly nippy Christmas Eve afternoon, Tony and I went over to Barbara and Jeff's house for what I thought was simply going to be a terrific holiday season visit with dear friends. You can imagine my profound surprise then, when a few minutes into our get together, Barbara informed me that a sizeable pile of presents nestled beneath one of their Christmas trees was in fact for me/us and proceeded to let me in on the details of how that came to be and the incredible surprise that had been organized on my behalf. Tears (of joy), shock, trembling, and gigantic smiles all proceeded on my end as I sat on their (gorgeous mid-century) couch in total disbelief. I am one of those people who tries never to take anything for granted and who is grateful for every single kind thing done towards/for me, so to know that ore than thirty past VSS participants - some of whom had already, extremely generously, sent care packages our way in the wake of the blaze - had teamed up to give me/us the Christmas surprise to end all Christmas surprises was nothing short of overwhelmingly beautiful in the very best kind of way. I opened some of the gifts that were sent at Barbara's house and then we loaded up the remainder in our vehicle and I unwrapped them as time would permit over the next few holiday season days. Genuinely, I am still at a loss for words and cannot, really and truly, begin to thank Barbara and Jeff, Tony, and all those involved enough for their profound kindness, love and desire to help give us not just a "good", but a remarkably wonderful holiday season shortly after we lost everything last fall. Thank you with all of my heart to each and every person who sent a VSS present our way. Some folks included items for Tony and/or Annie as well and we are so appreciative to everyone for their staggering generosity and compassion – as well as to Barbara (pictured below) who worked tirelessly for weeks to help make this surprise a reality. Much as with the other (non-VSS related) care packages that we've received, you - our dear friends and fellow members of the vintage community - are helping us to rebuild our home and wardrobes (most of which, for example, the festive outfit I'm wearing in these photos, was created from) to no small degree and we are endlessly appreciate to every single person who has sent anything our way over the past nearly three months now since the fire. Thank you today, tomorrow, and always. You truly gave me an unforgettable and magnificently positive holiday season. I will never forget it as long as I live and sincerely hope that we can revive the group based VSS for 2017 and beyond, so that all those who wish to do so can send and receive gifts themselves, too. {And a shot of Picasso, Barbara and Jeff's adorable cat, who was such a good kitty - never once laying a paw on the presents piled 'round the Christmas tree.} House hunting As many of you know, we were very fortunate to find a temporary home quite quickly after the fire, moving into our current digs precisely one month to the day since that fateful night. As it is indeed a short term rental though, the quest to find something (hopefully!!!) more permanent has begun this month and we've already been into view some places. The real estate market - both from renting and home buying perspectives - has utterly skyrocketed in terms of pricing here in the Okanagan over the past few years (it's not uncommon for houses to go for 25 - 50+ % more today than they did less than a decade ago) and what little does exist - especially that permits dogs - at a quasi-decent price is snapped up faster than you can say "sold". We're working with a modest budget and have certain housing needs that must be met, but are certainly trying to be as flexible as possible and do believe that a good match will come our way before we need to leave our temporary rental house. At the time of the fire we were living in Penticton, in the heart of the Okanagan, which is one of the local areas with the steepest housing costs, so while it is certainly included in our hunt, we have cast a relatively wide net of about three hours in various directions and are diligently searching high and low throughout. I (we) will definitely be sharing the good news when we do find our next place and hope that such will happen at least fairly quickly. Please keep your fingers crossed for the three of us. Hospital time again This coming Tuesday, I'll be going into the hospital again for (thankfully, quite minor) surgery once again. Usually I don't even bring up such small procedures, which are part and parcel to my life as a multiple chronic illness fighter, here, but as I know such will have a further impact on my ability to be online in the coming weeks, I wanted to mention it today with all of you. Rest assured that this procedure has nothing to do with the fire. It was booked back in mid-August 2016 and should - knock wood - be something that only takes a few weeks to recover from. In general though, my health has taken one heck of a serious beating in the aftermath of the fire. Initially I was quite literally getting through each day on a combination on adrenaline, shock and sheer grit, but as more time went on, greater than usual (for me) levels of physical activity persisted, and the continued emotional impact of what had happened to us really started to hit home, my health took a massive nose dive from which it has not really begun to improve (to my pre-fire levels, I mean). It remains to be seen just to what extent this situation will have on my life and blogging (which, officially, remains on hiatus for the time being) in the long run. I will of course continue to let you guys know here and am trying to give myself as much time to rest and recoup as circumstances will permit (which, to be frank, isn't always a great deal). Project 365 photo challenge My health, rebuilding our lives, house hunting, and recently the holiday season have been/are at the heart of our lives right now and will continue to be for quite some time to come.   In the midst of such though, I thought it would be fun to *try* and do a Project 365 iPhone photo a day challenge over on Instagram. I've taken the approach of pairing each Project 365 image that I share with a quote that fits, to my mind, the image and welcome you to follow me there, if you're not already doing so, to see what I share. Though, back in 2011, I tried to blog here every day of the year (in an experiment that I called Vintage 365), I've not done a Project 365 before with photos and love that it gives me a chance to share more of my world - the natural beauty of the Okanagan Valley very much included - with all those who tune into my Instagram account. It will be fascinating to look back at the end of 2017 and witness what really caught my eye each day throughout 2017 (I should point out that, naturally, I do plan to share other none #project365 snaps there still, too).

♥ ♥ ♥

My dear, wonderful friends, as we embrace this first week of the new year, please know that I am grateful for each of you, your support, understanding, kindness, and generosity. Last year was a doozy for so many of us and Tony and I were, by no means, the only ones to face great hardship. The world in general was put through the ringer, too, and I'm sure that many of us share our immense happiness over the fact that 2017 is here at long last. Though none of us know what the future holds in store for us, I enter this year with steadfast optimism, determination and hope that it a better, safer, healthier, happier one for all of us. Thank you again for each unforgettable and poignant way that you've been there for us. Both myself and Tony want to wish you all a stellar New Year and look forward to connecting with you in whatever ways we can throughout the coming twelve months.

#vintage #vintagestyle #retro #blogpost