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etirabys · 1 year

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book review: she who became the sun

Woohoo, this stacked well with reading the "end of Ming, early Qing" stretch of The Search for Modern China. It's set in a similar time period, and Zhu, the "random peasant who turned out to have an amazing knack for leading a rebellion" protagonist, fits neatly into the historical period where many peasants or failed bureaucrats were discovering that this was their calling.

GOOD novel. Chewy. It's good. Had enough crazy brilliant protagonist energy to remind me of the Vorkosigan saga:

"That monk knows exactly what he wants. The night before the battle at Yao River, he asked me to make that gong for him. I made it, he used it, and he won,” Jiao said. “I’ve met his type before. They either go far or die early. And either way, they have a tendency to make collateral damage of normal people.” He raised his eyebrows at Yuchun. “Are you special, little brother? Because if you’re not, I’d watch out."

Will definitely be buying the sequel.

(At this point the review becomes spoilery.)

One of the most gorgeous blood feud I've ever seen! The players in the blood feud are:

- Ouyang, the sole survivor of the massacre of his Han family – begged for his life as a child, was spared but castrated, and has grown up into a fearsome Mongol general

- Chaghan, the high ranking Mongol military commander who did the massacreing

- Esen, Chaghan's son who conforms perfectly to Mongol masculine warrior ideals. Loves Ouyang as a best friend but fails to see, at all, how bitter Ouyang is with his life and how set he is on revenge.

- Wang, Chaghan's half-Han nephew whom he adopted as a son.

Each pair of the above either outright hates each other, OR is plotting the other's destruction despite great love, except Chaghan and Esen. It's fabulous! Ouyang is... oh, just read this short post about CS Lewis's definition of damnation. Ouyang is very damned.

Oh, Ouyang. Women are terrible! The politics.” He groaned. “Consider yourself lucky you’ll never have to suffer this kind of torment.” Esen never meant to hurt, and Ouyang had always taken care to pretend matter-of-fact acceptance about his exclusion from family life. Why should he blame Esen for not reading his mind to see the anger and pain there? But the truth was: he did blame Esen. Blamed him even more than he would a stranger, because it hurt more that someone so beloved should not see the truth of him. And he blamed and hated himself, for hiding that truth.

Ouyang's arc is a superbly executed tragedy. The climax, I think, physically winded me slightly.

And Wang –

This book is primarily about people-who-are-not-fully-men by the Mongol standards of manhood, and of the GNC characters, Wang was the one who struck me as queerest by nature/volition rather than circumstance. His gender is Accountant Who Loves The Arts, and his Manchu relatives HATE him for it. His gender noncompliance seems like "I'm doing this because I really want to and anything else is painful" rather than "I'm doing this because I was castrated" (Ouyang) or "I'm doing this because I was going to literally starve to death unless I latched on to the niche that was meant to be my dead brother's" (the protagonist).

Said GNC people sniff each other out quickly and feel Weird Magnetism. "Like calls to like" is an italicized refrain. In fact, Zhu's nonbinarydar is so advanced that she intuits Ouyang's emotional damage within minutes of meeting him, and feels a magnetic pull to him for the rest of the book. As a shipper, I'm a huge fan. (What I want: Ouyang/Zhu/Ma triad fic.) As a person who yearns for anyone to understand Ouyang, I'm a huge fan. But I'm an anti-fan of "these two people who are very different are of the Same Kind because they don't fit into mainstream culture". Such groupings are politically expedient but I feel allergic to seeing them painted as intrinsic similarities – to say, these two things are the same because they are not X, seems to ontologically center "X vs not X" when the political project should be to dissolve the salience of that division.

Through that strange quiver of connection to the Yuan’s eunuch general, she had seen beneath that carved-jade mask to his shame and self-hate and anger. He had a wound for a heart, and that made him a more dangerous opponent than anyone here realized.

I feel weird writing a paragraph about this, but the book is really explicit that these radically different GNC people are on the same wavelength and I'm like, NO, they're really not!... they could have grown into the weird intense soulmate enemy bond they immediately have in book 1, and that would have felt narratively rewarding to me – recognition through inquiry and (reluctant) empathy and reflection, not, Nonbinary Frog Pheromones

Finally: I loved Zhu's romance arc and childhood trauma and fucking everything. She's ten years old when her father is kicked to death by bandits for not offering them enough food (the whole region is some years into a famine), and by the time she's an adult this feels so faraway that... well, as an adult she sees a food seller at a market being extorted, and the scene goes like this:

“Hey, granny!” Well, less hope for some. Zhu, observing the unfolding human drama, felt a stirring of unease: the memory of something witnessed so long ago that it might as well have been in a past life.

Seriously, the kicked to death thing never comes up again, and the elision is vast and leaves a lot of room for echoes. Similarly – several minutes before being kicked to death, the desperate father, who devalues girl children in a culturally unexceptional way, offers ten year old Zhu as food for the bandits so they'll leave him and his son alone. (This whole scene is amazingly written, and does not get in the way of the inherent intensity and awfulness of this event.) Zhu does not process this onscreen At All. Once her entire family is dead she starts rolling on her journey to becoming a warlord like a polished marble. Said journey involves her taking her brother's place at a monastery and playing at being a not-girl so well that even the heavens won't notice that she's of the Grindable To Nothingness gender, all while having ZERO thoughts about the "eat my daughter and leave us alone" incident. Fucking fantastic.

Anyway, at the beginning of becoming a warlord, she meets Ma, a Girl Who Is Somehow Nice Despite The World Making This Very Hard:

in her face there was such a depth of raw and innocent emotion that Zhu’s eye was drawn as if to the scene of an accident

and

Zhu, watching Ma with an alien ache in her heart, saw the girl turn away at the critical moment [of someone she cares about being executed]. There was nobody to comfort her. She simply folded over onto herself in the middle of that empty bubble in the crowd, crying. Zhu felt a strong protective urge rise up in her at the sight. With alarm she realized it was a new desire, already rooted alongside that other desire that defined everything she was and did. It felt as dangerous as an arrowhead lodged in her body, as though at any moment it might work its way in deeper and cause some fatal injury.

and marries her. I love this, because I'm a huge sucker for "I am a very bad person and I love you and hope you will keep me in line" ships, and this is explicitly part of their deal!

However, after fights about less taboo atrocities, Ma comes back to Zhu after Zhu kills an eight year old Ma is attached to (for being a ?dalai lama? who is inconvenient to Zhu's goals), so it's a little unclear to me how much Ma is going to keep this function.

#rambl #she who became the sun

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feydstan · 6 months

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People You'd Like to Know Better tag game!

got tagged by @spacepunksupreme thanks!

three ships:

first ship: The Dark Urge x Gortash from bg3 (yes, this is ofc durge specific, but let's think "typical" durge or pre-amnesia durge, whatever durge that's scratching and biting gortash and fucks him while doing so) second ship: Mizrak x Olrox from Castlevania Nocturne (gays, angst, I just want them to be together, they have me barking, also hail them for making Olrox this fucking pretty and making such a good chara (@kakimari we probably owe you our thanks)) third ship: Esen x Ouyang from She Who Became the Sun/He Who Drowned the World (very niche but I am crying, throwing up, dragging my teeth across concrete bc of these two) media: last film: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (let's say the title is very fitting because it could almost have been a musical if more people than Lucy would sing plus someone really turned out to be the biggest fucking snake to no one's surprise, but overall a good prequel, lots of references to the hunger games movies (obvi but u get it)) currently reading: He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker Chan (my favourite author and I honestly think that the second book of the duology is even better than the first, it's gay, angsty, humorous, exciting, I literally never got this attached to characters in a book, it's also super interesting even without much knowledge about China's history and Mongol invasions, you'll learn a lot, and luckily a map is provided in the beginning, I literally have to check it each time) and The Genesis of Misery by Neon Yang (Just started but the action in the book is amazing and I can't wait to read more, I love the main character) currently watching: Narcos (I never got around it up until now but I love it, it's super interesting, informative, and since I'm learning Spanish, I get to enjoy that part of it, too (Casa de Papel taught me the basics such as dinero and joder) and well another big plus is Pedro Pascal) and the Once Upon a Witchlight campaign from Legends of Avantris (a DnD campaign I very much love, peak entertainment, my fucking legs) currently consuming: anything Baldur's Gate 3 related, vampire-related stuff, Dune as always, Tolkien stuff currently craving: the will and strength to write my fucking book, to draw all I want to draw, manage to open commissions and stuff, and I'm also craving MORE ART and the SOULS OF ARTISTS tagging: @alex-goes-brrr @moryri @tripleyeeet @carrot--cube @volotramp @mr-oldman-appreciator @feylights

#tag game #trying to get to know people more #also trying to grasp your interests mutuals #mutuals my beloveds

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myxinidaes · 7 months

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been a while! been busy irl and also not in the best headstate but. A short writeup of what i've been reading/watching/doing.

Watching: Our Flag Means Death, assorted horror movies, Adventure time.

OFMD season 2 has been tons of fun so far! I've been watching with a friend at my place and we get to harass the orange cat while we watch. He loves attention so he doesn't mind (much). Can we talk abt the bell scene, though? hot damn. awakened things in me.

Horror movies watched have been: Barbarian (spooky but I think more disgusting/sad/pathetic than truly scary), Pet Sematary (halfway through, p spooky!), Jennifer's Body (not scary, very fun), IT (rewatch, still a solid time), Malignant (partway through, a fun time), Repo! (fun! very fun!), and probably more? there have been a Lot of horror movies between weekly streams with internet friends and dinner+drink+horror nights with housemates

Somehow I missed the Adventure Time craze as a teen, but i've been enjoying catching up! a fun show to watch when i dont want to think abt anything. The art style seems very uhhhhh inconsistent though? a bit disorienting

Reading: She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan. Hoooly fuck. This book is driving me insane in the absolute best way. I tried reading it last year and fizzled out around the gorge scene even though I was really enjoying it. I've been on a bunch of long bus rides lately, so I picked it up again and truly losing my mind. All of the POVs are so distinct and well-done, the opening scene of the girl stealing her brother's name and the way Zhu Chongba goes on to claim her destiny as well! The gender fuckery! The woman disguised as a male monk meeting the eunuch general! The rage and horror and disgust present in Ouyang's narration, the razorwire cunning and determination of Zhu Chongba's, the complexities of Esen's court!!! And the main romance is absolutely fucking insane. A woman who wants the world at her feet and a wife just trying to survive. Screaming, crying, etc etc etc.

There have been multiple times in the book where I had to pause and lose my mind silently for a few seconds like. WOW. Dearly looking forward to finishing this book and reading He Who Drowned the World. Pictured below, one of my favorite passages.

Other things I've been reading (wip fics):

Tarnished Gold, Scum Villain fic. Absolutely engrossing fic where Shen Yuan transmigrates into Gongyi Xiao instead of Shen Qingqiu. The characterization is beyond top-notch, it's honestly aspirational. The POV is a Luo Binghe fresh from the Abyss and hellbent on causing Gongyi Xiao's complete and utter disgrace. The slow shift from plotting and scheming to a completely in-character Binghe obsession to (eventually) romance? Delightful. So crunchy to read.

Tasting the Outer Road: the Outlaw's Guide to Good Gunsmoke Eating, Trigun Maximum fic. I'm obsessed with everything this author puts out tbh, but a post-Trimax canon fic featuring Knives as a food reviewer and examining consumption, the twins' place in the world, and the harm wrought by Knives is everything I've ever wanted.

Welcome! Everything is Fine. IDW Transformers fic. A Good Place x Transformers mashup... kind of. It's fun! It'll make you laugh! It's got Starscream/Minimus aka the transformers ship of all time!

Listening to: So much. It's been a lot of Hozier lately (concert is less than two weeks away!!), but there was a man at the farmer's market this week singing the Decemberists and that reminded me how much I love them so. shrugs. let's just say i've been rolling around in indie albums.

Working on: Classwork. VW bangfic. I've been busy and I'm very much at the stage in the fic where I'm hating everything I write. But that's fine, the important thing is that it gets written (I say as I contemplate my wip which hasn't had meaningful progress being added for a While now i am so very stuck). My arm's been positively fucked these past few weeks, so I haven't had the opportunity to draw much. Hopefully eventually! I want to do gift art for VWBB friends still, but I'm running out of time.

I've applied to be an officer at a club, curious to see if I get the position. Fingers crossed, I guess? I haven't done IRL leadership stuff in a while, it would be nice to get back into it.

I've been journaling a lot lately, giving it another go after it just made me spiral hard during the early pandemic era. Not sure if it's been helping, but it's definitely better than losing my mind in public on social media? Baby steps.

Final note, very important: Please appreciate the orange cat being harassed.

#asterposting #general apologies to anyone trying to contact me lately i've been going Through It a bit #and also trying very hard to break my socmed addiction haha #been running mostly off of queue for a while now

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maria-taiwin · 8 months

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Can't stop to think about my tragic gays but damned it's so tragic that Ouyang and Esen could be intimate only just in death. They desired so much to be closer in life but can't help to resist at that attraction and even sabotage it. Only death could let them to embrace each other finally. First when Esen was dying (and here we also have "stabbing as metaphor for love??" trope) and in the end when Zhu would fulfill her promise and bury Ouyang together with Esen. In death they will finally rest in peace and be together.

It's so poetic and so tragic

#he who drowned the world #general ouyang #prince esen #she who became the sun #ouyang x esen #lord esen #Ouyang #gay characters #the radiant emperor #esen #gay love #tragic gay men #esen-temur #hwdtw spoilers

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maria-taiwin · 8 months

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Basically what Shelley Parker Chan said in regard to Esen/Ouyang: "LOL sorry you will be happy and in peace just in your future reincarnations bye" 😅

Okay queen but where are the reincarnaton!au fanfics now??

#he who drowned the world #she who became the sun #general ouyang #prince esen #ouyang x esen #lord esen #Ouyang #shelley parker chan #esen

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maria-taiwin · 8 months

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We should debate more how Ouyang could be an unreliable narrator. His all life - and thoughts - are shaped by self-sabotage and self-hate, of course something trueful will be missing.

Ouyang is always ready to put the responsability of his destiny, a destiny he hates, on whatever culprit he finds within reach, he always thinks he has no other choices and he reflects his presumed lack of choices in whatever designs of the fate (the horse who finds itself lord Wang in the forest when Ouyang wanted to kill Esen's father, so it must be a sign! Or when he plays chess or something like this with General Shao and in the end he find himself in the corner and has no way out. It must be a sign too that he can't fight his destiny).

Ouyang is so fucked up, and all of his thoughts are so twisted, deliberately twisted! He deliberately wants to push his anger and hate, then he will be convinced he would have no guilt in pursuing his revenge, he wants so much adding fuel to the fire otherwise he has no idea how to going on, but in this way he doesn't acknowledge his truest and whole feelings and not even about the other people, because he's stubborn to just focus in hate and nothing else.

Also, we shouldn't forget that Ouyang is so prideful! Yeah he has also that trait but that sentiment is not the predominant one at the end of book 1, it stopped to be because Ouyang gave up and decided to be drowned in his own pain and hate. I also asked myself many times how such a prideful man could be SO attached (and Ouyang's devotion for Esen was not at all a lie, maybe it was the only good thing in his life) at the son of the man who destroyed his life. His pride should have of course stopped him, but it couldn’t. That because Ouyang's mind is really fucked up as I said, but we shouldn't forget what Ouyang admitted in the early chapters: "It was only ever Esen who thought Ouyang deserving of reward. Who refused to see what everyone else saw." And this could explain why ouyang, who was so used to be seen with disgust, grow affection for him. But in the end Ouyang twists again that feeling, he distorts that presumption because he hates himself, he doesn't feel deserving and he tells himself to put a forced distance between him and Esen otherwise he could go on his revenge, so he deliberately twists their initial relationship in something quite opposite, again to pursue his goal, but it's a goal he does even desire to fulfill to. (No mistake, the fucked up miscommunication is from both sides, both Esen and Ouyang do nothing but resist to their true feelings and to admit the truth, but I'm talking about my favorite meow meow here).

So where does this blabering take us? That we shouldn't trust 100% on Ouyang's pov because Ouyang himself is not honest to himself and he's always there to reflect his hate, misplaced or not.

Who knows, maybe he will admit *some* truth in the final book

#she who became the sun #he who drowned the world #general ouyang #esen #ouyang x esen #lord esen #shelley parker chan #prince esen #Ouyang #esen-temur

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