#19.3 Unravel
It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.
Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.
They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.
Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"
Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"
"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"
"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."
"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"
"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."
"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.
Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.
"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"
Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.
Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.
Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"
"There's always a chance–"
"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."
Grace fell silent and went still.
Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"
"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"
"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.
Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."
"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.
Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"
"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.
Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."
Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.
"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."
Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.
Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.
Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.
Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."
Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.
When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.
Masterlist
Previous
Next
Let me know your thoughts in the reblogs <3
☕ Buy me coffee ☕
45 notes
·
View notes
Some characters in teen wolf are very 50 50 for me and some of those characters are malia, kira, allison, and derek. Most of them are females and that is bc the writers put all of their best into lydia.
Kira is one of the main characters that i dont like and that is bc how she was introduced was very weird. Eavesdropping on a convo and then just being like 'yeah those dreams mean ur gonna die :D' like sorry bro that is NOT the way to go if ur trying to make friends. I think the ppl who screwed her over the most was the writers bc i feel like if she was just a character on her own she wouldve been fine but it felt like she was there purely for scott. I get it, tv shows need romance most of the time but scott is never single ever. Like maybe s3a?? And even then its still sorta allison. Kiras scenes with malia were so good and i thought when they were dancing in the first ep of s4 i was like i think this would be a good dynamic. And in s5 when she has to capture the electricity or whatevrr malias there and shes giving her encouragement and i thought that was awesome. I feel like bc they made her there just bc of scott it made me iffy abt her character. Shes a kitsune who has lightning powers u couldnt give her some scenes were she wasnt with scott or doing stuff by herself??
Allison is another case like this. She has such good moments when its just her archery and doing stuff by herself or with lydia. S3a shes being herself and shes finding stuff out and still having to deal with ppl sorta dustrusting her bc she was an antagonist at the end of s2 and i think its annoying that they put isaac there as a love interest. Isaac and allison as separate characters or a dynamic?? Amazing. Awesome. But making them so sexual tension wasnt fun bc a. Allison was mainly using isaac as a rebound and b. when she was dying she was just all like scott its been you all along and that fine first love but to isaac??? That shit is painful af like imagine ur being kinda with a girl and then u think ok finally someone loves me finally someone is in the same boat of ppl being distrusting but then she dies and not even a glance? Idk just felt bad. Allison was so close bc when she was on her own she had such good scenes and i wish she had more archery scenes and ones with lydia. It was also like the parallel u couldve gotten with isaac and allison fighting together or smt???? Like with the end of s2 with allison shooting down all of the wherewolves and then s3b and shes fighting WITH them???? Like bro wasted potential.
Malia is just a character a 50 50 chaarcter cuz there is some questionable things she does but shes pretty cool with the whole 8 years coyote thing and with being blunt but idk i think i just am 50 50 on her lol
Lydia is the absolute best bc omfg she had some dating but overall she mostly figured stuff out herself and she had good sideplots with being a banshee and i thought her ajd parrish havibg that weird... smt was not needed but i did like the aspect of before she found out abt her sonar scream she needed to learn how to fight and i think it woldve been cool if they were not freaking tension filled. She was a strong character and they def put everything into her bc holy crap. Idk to me shes a big 10/10 character.
Derek is just freaking annoying man. Like sleeping with the enemy so many times? And he also never has smt besides a family problem or smt abt the person hes sleeping with. I was also kinda annoyed abt how isaac leaving after derek throws the glass never gets resolved. I feel like he also doesnt grow as a character much. Like two seasons hes like my sister died my uncle did it and family fire and my ex is the one who caused most of this and then s3 and its i slept with the enemy and my sisters back somehow after the family fire that my other ex caused and then s4 is braedens season and she was again so cool as a character on her OWN nd then the inly interesting thing was that he needed to learn how to use a gun. And then s5 he was barely there and s6 he was barely there so he didnt have growth i feel like. Not to say he wasnt hella funny at times
They all had good moments though like malias plot abt her mother was interesting (even if i couldnt really follow along) and kiras whole skinwalker thing which i was disapointed abt bc i wanted her to stay for s6.
They also make ALL the female characters be romantic with scott of least ONCE. Lydia kissed him, allison, kira, malia (which i thought was weird that they just, got rid of that in the movie and developed it in like 20 episodes and was rushed as hell) and then allison again. Please give me a character that isnt somehow drawn to scott i beg
8 notes
·
View notes
*sigh* and I’m back into “college panic mode” mindset, because I was too damn lazy to do stuff when I should have, and now I can’t build my full schedule because no classes are available, I don’t know what else to fill it with since I don’t really know what I’m doing with core classes, but also I need a lot of hours to make up for me dropping like 7 credit hours last semester, but I don’t know what to fill it with
Not only that but payments are due on the 18th (though from past experience I can be a bit late on that?), and looking it totals to over $7000, so I need a loan but don’t entirely remember how to do loans. And I can’t just ask my mom, since literally last week my dad reminded me to start doing my loans, and I haven’t touched it since tonight when I was thinking about it. I was planning to do it last Friday! And I have no excuse as to why I haven’t been doing it and I don’t want to get in trouble
And classes start in literally a week, less than that since it’s basically the end of the day, and I’m stuck dealing with stuff I should have dealt with back in May, because I’m so damn lazy. But at the same time, I hate thinking about school during break, I hate thinking about school in general, since it just sends me into a panic and I’d rather think or focus on literally anything else
And now I’m stuck here, my eyes tired and wanting to do to sleep, but my brain going on overdrive in a panic over all this, and I just want it to go away
*sigh* I’m sorry, I just need to get this out somehow. I’d ask why college does this to me, but in reality I know I dug my own grave here. I don’t want to be in this mindset, to fear college so much and to sit here, knowing I need to do things but still watching the days tick by, still not doing anything, despite having all the time in the world
*sigh*
11 notes
·
View notes