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deiaiko · 3 months

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#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point #I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty #like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue #writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way #I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone #Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have #also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial #maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace #because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die #not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth #that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths #so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo #but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save #Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask #see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #hatz

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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months

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I just need to know if people love or hate him and if they think he's good at being so bad. I want to know what the people think of him as a character. Pls. Pls. Tell me what u think of him in ur tags.

#i think hes incompetent. at every turn hes getting dunked on until everyone is so desperate that they fall into his trap #i just dont think he could do what he did if the situation wasnt so dire #maybe im wrong. the show runners disagree with that take but they also called him a messiah figure and that is fucking insane to me #ugh. whatever. my dad calls him mister hinkey lol #the terror #cornelius hickey #amc the terror #to me hickey is just so pathetic #note i did not give u a: i want to see him punished as a boy choice #bc i fear how many would click on it

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thatswhatsushesaid · 8 months

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... jgy really was someone who killed nmj..which is something lxc did not see..

idk what to tell u. is that not Truthy enough?

# i'm so tired too that i can't browse the jgy tag without there always being a cunty vague comment on the audacity of some other people to have a mdzs opinion of their own. and it's always some blog with a lot of followers shitting on some other smaller blog who is just posting their own thoughts. who made you the tag police? why does the mdzs fandom even have a tag police? like,why is that a Thing? it's really not ok.

why do hardcore jgy fans have this need to chop canon in pieces to defend the poor lil meow meow? he's fine as he is! i like him for being deeply fucked and a criminal! i know exactly what he did and how he's deluded himself that he Needed to do it. jgy being an unreliable narrator to his own story is what makes him so sad and pathetic and enjoyable. he's already relatable enough ffs. no need to defend him like he was a kpop boy.

are you new to fandom or something

#asks answered #also my whole point with that last post was that the meta was otherwise very good #but the meta writer loses me the moment they reduce lan xichen's blind spot wrt jgy #to lxc not seeing jgy for 'who he really was' fundamentally as a person #as opposed to not seeing individual actions and choices #these are two different concepts and you are either intentionally misinterpreting what i wrote #or maybe just didn't get what i was saying originally #regardless that was definitely not me at my cuntiest 🤷‍♀️ that's just bog standard fandom salt #also if i'm a tag cop then i'm an extremely lazy and incompetent tag cop #considering how much garbage i do not comment on when i see it in the tags #also (also) anon I think you've grossly overestimated my influence in this fandom and how many people give a shit about what i have to say

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kitsune-kaos · 19 days

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#me #gay person of youth #girl maybe I should retire that gpoy tag. I don’t feel the youth anymore.#shelter life #had a real shit work day. been hella taken advantage of by the incompetent people in management #but at least I had this sweet girl and all my other doggy pals #just wish my hard work wasn’t being taken advantage of

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abstractlesbian · 4 months

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Find someone slightly annoying but in really small harmless ways so I decide none of the behaviours are worth bringing up with them → realizing: hey, Im also annoying! solidarity! → realizing we have a lot in common and starting to bond → finding out other people find this person annoying and are vocal about it behind their back → finding out this person has ADHD like me that's (at least one reason) why we have all these traits in common → fear.

#trying to be as vague as possible even tho this is someone I know offline and no one involved follows me online #on one level I get it that relying someone who is forgetful and does things slower/differently than you can be frustrating #but like its a medical condition. and u dont need to know someones medical info to have some empathy instead of assuming malice/incompetence #i just found out they have adhd today but day one i was able to go 'wow i did not like the way they handled that but i dont think they were #being hurtful/careless we just handle this task differently. rhey didnt do anything wrong and i can let this go and adjust my expectations'#not to say im perfect and never ableist towards others. my first reaction to seeing traits i dislike in myself (from my disabilities)#in others is often to get annoyed and needing to adjust my thinking #i get annoyed with myself when I cant focus / cant be coherent or concise / cant finish tasks quickly etc #→ get annoyed sometimes when I see others doing that → realize thats not fair to them → realize thats not fair to myself #→ assume good intentions and find ways to communicate/collaborate better with them → get along better and maybe make a new friend!#sorry i am rambling #idk its scary seeing someone being disliked for adhd symptoms/traits that im mostly doing a good job of managing/hiding in this #social environment so far and knowing that could happen to me in the future #but im also like ready to have this persons back #me 🤝 them: prioritizing the wrong tasks and overexplaining things and struglging to get our points across #and not noticing when we talk too loud and forgetting tasks halfway thru etc #not to be that guy but : without love it canmot be seen!!!!#lifes so much better if u just assume ppl arent doing things a certain way to be annoying + let go of / adapt to the thing that are annoying #but not harmful #thats not exactly what without love it cant be seen means but thats one of the ways i apply it in life #just like dont assume malice. assume u dont have all the info. approach ppl/situations with empathy.#or youll make yourself more miserable needlessly #again like only for shit that's not harmful obv #i need to shut up and go to bed

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hibiscussoupbowl · 3 months

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Some characters in teen wolf are very 50 50 for me and some of those characters are malia, kira, allison, and derek. Most of them are females and that is bc the writers put all of their best into lydia.

Kira is one of the main characters that i dont like and that is bc how she was introduced was very weird. Eavesdropping on a convo and then just being like 'yeah those dreams mean ur gonna die :D' like sorry bro that is NOT the way to go if ur trying to make friends. I think the ppl who screwed her over the most was the writers bc i feel like if she was just a character on her own she wouldve been fine but it felt like she was there purely for scott. I get it, tv shows need romance most of the time but scott is never single ever. Like maybe s3a?? And even then its still sorta allison. Kiras scenes with malia were so good and i thought when they were dancing in the first ep of s4 i was like i think this would be a good dynamic. And in s5 when she has to capture the electricity or whatevrr malias there and shes giving her encouragement and i thought that was awesome. I feel like bc they made her there just bc of scott it made me iffy abt her character. Shes a kitsune who has lightning powers u couldnt give her some scenes were she wasnt with scott or doing stuff by herself??

Allison is another case like this. She has such good moments when its just her archery and doing stuff by herself or with lydia. S3a shes being herself and shes finding stuff out and still having to deal with ppl sorta dustrusting her bc she was an antagonist at the end of s2 and i think its annoying that they put isaac there as a love interest. Isaac and allison as separate characters or a dynamic?? Amazing. Awesome. But making them so sexual tension wasnt fun bc a. Allison was mainly using isaac as a rebound and b. when she was dying she was just all like scott its been you all along and that fine first love but to isaac??? That shit is painful af like imagine ur being kinda with a girl and then u think ok finally someone loves me finally someone is in the same boat of ppl being distrusting but then she dies and not even a glance? Idk just felt bad. Allison was so close bc when she was on her own she had such good scenes and i wish she had more archery scenes and ones with lydia. It was also like the parallel u couldve gotten with isaac and allison fighting together or smt???? Like with the end of s2 with allison shooting down all of the wherewolves and then s3b and shes fighting WITH them???? Like bro wasted potential.

Malia is just a character a 50 50 chaarcter cuz there is some questionable things she does but shes pretty cool with the whole 8 years coyote thing and with being blunt but idk i think i just am 50 50 on her lol

Lydia is the absolute best bc omfg she had some dating but overall she mostly figured stuff out herself and she had good sideplots with being a banshee and i thought her ajd parrish havibg that weird... smt was not needed but i did like the aspect of before she found out abt her sonar scream she needed to learn how to fight and i think it woldve been cool if they were not freaking tension filled. She was a strong character and they def put everything into her bc holy crap. Idk to me shes a big 10/10 character.

Derek is just freaking annoying man. Like sleeping with the enemy so many times? And he also never has smt besides a family problem or smt abt the person hes sleeping with. I was also kinda annoyed abt how isaac leaving after derek throws the glass never gets resolved. I feel like he also doesnt grow as a character much. Like two seasons hes like my sister died my uncle did it and family fire and my ex is the one who caused most of this and then s3 and its i slept with the enemy and my sisters back somehow after the family fire that my other ex caused and then s4 is braedens season and she was again so cool as a character on her OWN nd then the inly interesting thing was that he needed to learn how to use a gun. And then s5 he was barely there and s6 he was barely there so he didnt have growth i feel like. Not to say he wasnt hella funny at times

They all had good moments though like malias plot abt her mother was interesting (even if i couldnt really follow along) and kiras whole skinwalker thing which i was disapointed abt bc i wanted her to stay for s6.

They also make ALL the female characters be romantic with scott of least ONCE. Lydia kissed him, allison, kira, malia (which i thought was weird that they just, got rid of that in the movie and developed it in like 20 episodes and was rushed as hell) and then allison again. Please give me a character that isnt somehow drawn to scott i beg

#teen wolf #this was mostly abt the girl characters of the show but #i caught some fire for saying i dislike kira and thats just bc of this #i dont hate her as a whole but some things she did i was just like #girl this is not it #and btw i blame all of this on the writers who were to incompetent to write two or more strong girl characters.#kira yukimura #malia tate #allison argent #lydia martin #i also think that isaac and allison was unneeded bc it was all undone anyway at the end of s3b #maybe they just needed an excuse so that daniel sharman and crystal reed could leave but...#if someone likes kira or malia thats fine i respect that and i think they are good characters #just not my personal favorites #this is just ny opinion and how the writers did a poor job #derek hale

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lionblaze03-2 · 8 months

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you kids nowadays are spoiled with WCUE. Back in MY day we browsed questionable forums and YouTube videos for links to warrior cats roleplay minecraft servers like TRUE WARRIORS

#this is a joke I just am a fucking. Warrior cats veteran #And also too much of an incompetent fool to figure out wcue. Or maybe my computer just sucks too much #I made custom minecraft skins for all my characters. It was before you could make peoples models animals in servers #I literally remember when it changed and being so amazed by actually being a cat and not a human dressed as a cat #BUT. I also really missed designing my custom skins of my ocs. So.#Literally no server I played on exists anymore #Dead to old versions of the game running online. Ghosttowns impossible to access #warriors #warrior cats #wcue #lion’s lair

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devilsskettle · 8 months

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really unhappy with what we do in the shadows rn tbh. i want my boy to kill

#what happened to the fucked up shit. why don’t they want to commit to the fucked up shit anymore #also maybe why the humor is falling flat for me?#the original film and first season or two of the show relies on the juxtaposition between the darkness of vampire stories vs the mundanity #incompetence and silliness of the mockumentary format #watching the pilot right after watching s5e10 is like. complete whiplash wrt tone and style #i don’t like silly little gags with no setup and nonsensical fantasy lore that doesn’t really tie into the whole Vampire thing #tbh i do get why people still like the show like maybe i’m just not the right audience but the show has changed a LOT without actually #committing to any of the big writing choices that could possibly make the writers get creative about the dynamics between the characters smh #whatever whatever i just miss when my boy was my boy. rip #and when there were consequences for the characters. and payoff.#and humor. but you know. whatever

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bunnihearted · 8 months

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🖤👻🏰🩹

#sooooo i really can't stand living like this any longer. i'm going more and more insane each day and im losing hope and the will to live #i hate every single aspect of my life. and that's not just bc im negative or whatever. it's bc i have mental + physical health issues #i have chronic pain. i constantly keep having new health issues. headaches. muscle tensions. racing heart. heavy body and constantly tired #i dont sleep. i sleep 2 hours then wake up. sleep 2 more. repeat. my sisters havent talked to me this entire year. i have no friends #im poor and one by one all my things stops working and i cant afford to get new ones. i cant afford dental care. i have AWFUL posture #spend my whole life in my bed and my soul dies and rots day by day #ok i went on an unintended tangent. point is i have nothing in my life that works or is good. maybe a couple of things but thats not enough #i hate myself sm for being pathetic useless worthless stupid incapabable incompetent lazy avoidant #i cant keep going like this!!! i cant stand it + my mom is talking abt moving (w one of my sisters) so i literally cant keep being like this #my mom's tired of me and tells me to become independent. i hate myself for being 24 and still being a fkn child. but it scares me bc idk #how to be an adult???? i love my mom but she never really taught me how. and i had to be old when i was a kid so now im just stuck #this got too long guess i just needed to vent abt this >.<

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assaries · 6 days

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I want to quit my job so badddd

#this would be a job I'd enjoy if people didn't assume I was totally incompetent all the time #and when I try to learn new things I just get laughed at like 'haha how didn't you know that'#and when I mess up I don't even get told I did smth wrong they just get increasingly agitated with me #and majority of things I do wrong has to do with my personality #like I'm not cheerful and extroverted enough #like ok sorry for my autism swag but maybe don't say you can employ people with disabilities and then be surprised when the person has #traits that disable them!!!#I'm gonna talk to my supervisor at the employment agency tomorrow and ask for his advice #like yeah my old job had shit pay/hours but I at least didn't feel wildly anxious abt going to work

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dykeredhood · 16 days

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Love the fact that I can’t even find technical terms to refer to my assorted parts that I’m actually comfortable with

#HRT is great but it makes me feel silly and incompetent when I have to refer to a general area #and I am NOT!!!!!!!! incompetent #it’s just that existing technical terms do not work for how I consider my actual parts #I am so very aware that the only way I’ll make it into someone else’s bed is from being witty and charming I have no sexiness to bank on #maybe if I was a suitably skinny tboy with the desire and means to wax his vulvular area I could put out #‘content’ with a good goddamn look at my whole cuntal and vulvular area #personal

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pickapea · 22 days

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as someone who politically is more inclined to the socialist side of things, i know about the whole "lazy people don't exist, humans are not lazy" argument, and i would love for that to be the case, but the more people i train at work the harder it becomes to actually believe im sorry

#like there are some individuals out there. in society. and sometimes they get hired by my workplace #and then i have to train them. and so im the first to see them at work #and then after training i continue to see them at work #it's a minority #but some of them are genuinely lazy #like why are you not working. why are you sitting on your ass on the clock being all unhelpful when the rest of us are fighting demons #i trained this girl this week and first of all she was incompetent. second of all she did the bare minimum and then sat down #third of all she showed absolutely no interest in learning the work. i tried to teach her and she was just not having it #certainly when you are getting trained at your new job you'd want to learn it? so why did she not follow me around to learn #curious #for the point of the socialist utopia i would love if socialist theory was right about lazy people. but it's just not in line with reality #unfortunately #i canbot fathom being lazy however like does it not bore you. why don't you have any incentive to help people #frustrating #she was genuinely the worst trainee ive ever had the great pleasure of training #maybe she'll learn tho who knows. but her attitude was not good so i don't have high hopes #pickapost

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transdimensional-void · 1 month

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#trying to establish the recent history for my asoiaf bookworm AU just really highlights for me how politically broken westeros is #yurgenschmidt is simply too functional of a society to fit asoiaf fuckery djdjdjdj #i’m like hmmm I can’t realistically make robert archduke of the stormlands because like literally zero nobles would have backed someone #THAT incompetent #the only thing he does good is violence lol #but if robert isn’t at least the heir to the stormlands then his betrothal to lyanna makes no sense #so i was like well the baratheons are probably a branch of the targaryens #so maybe i could make robert a prince who is rhaegar’s half-brother rather than his cousin #but like once again who is backing robert for the throne against rhaegar????#because there’s no way aerys stays king for as long as he did in asoiaf when he’s behaving that erratically #his own retainers would probably support forcing him to abdicate in favor of rhaegar #and probably like the minute rhaegar is old enough to take over #so rhaegar is already king #dany is probably never conceived #there’s no need for the southron ambitions alliance against aerys #everything falls apart because the nobles of yurgenschmidt are less enamored of violence and more concerned with competence

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quibbs126 · 9 months

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*sigh* and I’m back into “college panic mode” mindset, because I was too damn lazy to do stuff when I should have, and now I can’t build my full schedule because no classes are available, I don’t know what else to fill it with since I don’t really know what I’m doing with core classes, but also I need a lot of hours to make up for me dropping like 7 credit hours last semester, but I don’t know what to fill it with

Not only that but payments are due on the 18th (though from past experience I can be a bit late on that?), and looking it totals to over $7000, so I need a loan but don’t entirely remember how to do loans. And I can’t just ask my mom, since literally last week my dad reminded me to start doing my loans, and I haven’t touched it since tonight when I was thinking about it. I was planning to do it last Friday! And I have no excuse as to why I haven’t been doing it and I don’t want to get in trouble

And classes start in literally a week, less than that since it’s basically the end of the day, and I’m stuck dealing with stuff I should have dealt with back in May, because I’m so damn lazy. But at the same time, I hate thinking about school during break, I hate thinking about school in general, since it just sends me into a panic and I’d rather think or focus on literally anything else

And now I’m stuck here, my eyes tired and wanting to do to sleep, but my brain going on overdrive in a panic over all this, and I just want it to go away

*sigh* I’m sorry, I just need to get this out somehow. I’d ask why college does this to me, but in reality I know I dug my own grave here. I don’t want to be in this mindset, to fear college so much and to sit here, knowing I need to do things but still watching the days tick by, still not doing anything, despite having all the time in the world

*sigh*

#I feel like crying now. Probably won’t #hopefully I’ve tired myself out enough to go to sleep now #but I’m not sure I have #real life stuff #college #me being a failure #maybe I shouldn’t post about such personal things #but heck it I don’t have anyone else to talk to about it #or that I want to talk to because I’ll just make people mad at my incompetence

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