#Nadi has been keeping so many secrets

[yet-another-heathen]

I'm SO excited!! I just finished and queued the next brand-new chapter in the Jackal series! This particular one is the single most important addition to the story that we've had yet. Soooo much happens. And I finally, FINALLY get to drag you all into an element of the story that I've been hiding for years. It's been agonizing not to spoil this part. I genuinely can't wait for you to see <33

#just one more chapter in between #but because I have zero remaining self control I'll probably post Cold Cold Cold tonight 😆 #Nadi has been keeping so many secrets #The Jackal of An-Nadr

[xcherryerim]

Si tú me quisieras

(If you loved me)

Mike schmidt x Gn!reader | wc: 2.2k

“Si tú me quisieras, el amor que quisieras lo tendrías conmigo. No soy cursilera, pero si me quisieras, sería todo distinto” — Si tú me quisieras by Nia Vanie & Adrian Bello

Warning: Friends to lovers | Sappy | angst and fluff (?) | mentions of sex | fighting | a bit of aggressive Mike

notes: it seems like I love writing sappy stuff for Mike at 1-4 am. I didn’t really revise this so sorry if there is many mistakes or repeated words ✨ Also the lyrics in this story is the same as the one from the intro (and yes. Mike knows spanish here)

Summary: As time goes by, it becomes increasingly difficult for Mike not to hide the secrets that are troubling him. He has had enough and decides to reveal his feelings to you, his best friend.

You caught sight of Mike wearing the same shade of sage green shirt you were wearing. With a deep breath, you called out to him, "No, no! Change, please. That's too much of a coincidence!”

Mike sighed heavily, slamming the car door shut behind him. His eyes narrowed, frustration etched onto his face. "Can you give me a break? This is the only clean shirt I have left!"

Reluctantly, you let out a frustrated groan. It wasn't about the shirt or the coincidences; it was about how deeply it affected you every time he wore that particular color. But you knew pushing him further wouldn't solve anything. So instead, you relented, "Fine, fine."

Why does it matter anyway?" he asked, increasing the volume of the radio in an attempt to cover up his unease.

Your fingers tightened around the steering wheel as you tried to explain your concern. "Because people are going to think we're a couple,"

Mike couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. He had been hoping that today would be the day when you finally noticed him in the way he wanted you to. But here he was.

“But like, we aren’t so it doesn't matter, does it?”

“I guess.” You shrugged.

You started to suggest what movie to watch at the end of the day. A little tradition you guys did after running errands together, but Mike was staring at the street, drowning in his thoughts. Did you hate the idea of dating him that much?

“No hay nada que pueda hacer que me veas, y eso me duele tanto. Y aunque tú no me quieras como yo te quiero yo te seguiré amando.” / “There's nothing I can do to make you look at me, and that breaks me. Even if you don’t love me like I love you, I'll still adore you.”

"Isn't this the song that you like, Mike?" you asked, a small smile forming on your lips.

Mike's response was quiet and subdued. "Uh, yeah."

He didn't like the song, not really. He related to it, to every verse, word, and beat. It was a reflection of his feelings, a mirror to his unspoken thoughts and emotions. The lyrics echoed through the car, resonating with both of you in different ways.

“Dicen que de amor nadie se muere, pero si este dolor es la alternativa, prefiero la muerte” / “They say no one dies out of love, but if this pain is the alternative, I rather die.”

Mike sat silently next to you, the strum of guitar strings and the singer's melodic voice echoing throughout the car. A wave of disappointment washed over him, making the atmosphere in the vehicle almost suffocating. You could sense his discomfort, but you pressed on, trying to stay focused on the road ahead.

“Te estoy amando aunque no te diga nada. Estoy guardando este secreto para mí en el fondo de mi alma. Si tú me quisieras, no perdería ni un minuto más. Me entregaría con sinceridad, si te quedas conmigo.” / “I'm loving you even if I keep quiet. I’m keeping this secret in the depths of my soul. If you loved me, I wouldn't lose another minute more. I’ll sincerely give myself to you, if you stay with me.”

…

Feeling the need to intervene, Mike quickly stepped in to assist an elderly woman who was struggling to reach for a specific medicine. "Oh, let me help with that," he said, his voice filled with genuine kindness. As he handed her the item she needed, a warm smile spread across his lips, and you couldn't help but feel proud of his compassionate nature.

The woman thanked him graciously, her eyes twinkling with gratitude. "Thank you, sweetheart," she said, her gaze shifting between you both. "You two look like a nice couple. It reminds me of when my late husband and I used to go shopping together."

A sudden flush crept up your cheeks as the weight of her words settled upon the both of you. You knew it wasn't intentional, but the implication made your heart race faster than it should. Swallowing hard, you felt the need to clarify things.

"We're not a couple," you quickly replied, your voice tinged with slight awkwardness. The heat from your blush radiated outward, an audible confession of your true feelings.

Mike smiled gently at you, his eyes dancing with a mix of mirth and sadness. "Definitely not a couple," he affirmed, a hint of longing lurking beneath the surface.

As he turned to face you, he couldn't help but notice the defensive posture you took, your arms firmly crossed over your chest. Was there pain in your eyes? No, it couldn't be. He pushed the thought aside, choosing to focus on the present moment.

"Well, you seem pretty insulted by that," he remarked casually, attempting to shift the topic away from the elephant in the room.

You raised an eyebrow, feigning offense. “What? I’m not good enough for you?” Your words were laced with humor, but the underlying emotion was undeniable. There was a yearning, a desire for something more.

Mike sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he shook his head. "We are not having this conversation again," he stated firmly. Today, he simply couldn't muster the energy for the friendly flirtation that had become a routine between the two of you.

The innocent, fun activity of grocery shopping quickly transformed into something far more uncomfortable between the two of you. The mood had shifted dramatically, leaving behind a heavy silence that seemed to grow more oppressive with every passing second.

Mike could no longer mask his emotions – his face bore the unmistakable signs of anger, complete with furrowed eyebrows and heavy breathing. His movements became more forceful as he tossed items into the cart, each action an expression of the tumultuous emotions churning within him.

Unable to bear the tension any longer, you hesitantly asked, "Are you alright?" The question hung in the air, seemingly adding fuel to the fire. The guilt you felt for asking it gnawed at your insides, knowing that you might have only exacerbated the situation.

Mike glared at you, his dark eyes flashing with hurt and resentment. At that moment, he couldn't bring himself to answer your question.

As you tried to find a way to bridge the gap, you couldn't help but wonder if this was truly the last straw in maintaining the delicate balance of your friendship. For years, the two of you had shared laughter, tears, and dreams, but now you stood on the precipice of something unfamiliar and uncertain.

…

To lighten the mood, you attempted a weak joke, "Where else, boss?" but it fell flat in the wake of the tension between the two of you.

Mike provided a terse response, focusing on giving directions to Walmart without acknowledging your attempt at humor. "I need to get a few things for Abby, she's doing a project for school," he said, buckling his seatbelt.

Attempting to ignore the growing discord, you asked, "Oh, are there any close by?" and started the car, navigating the streets according to the directions Mike had given you. However, your nerves got the better of you, and you found yourself missing turns and getting lost.

Each error only served to fuel the fire. Mike's frustration grew with every misstep, a slow burn that threatened to consume the both of you. And then, finally, it boiled over. "Left, I said fucking left!" he shouted, his voice cracking with the strain of holding back his emotions.

"My fucking god. Can you drive?"

Stung by his harsh words, you couldn't help but retaliate. "What the hell is your problem? Why are you suddenly acting like a bitch?" Angry tears pricked at your eyes, the frustration of the day taking its toll on your composure.

His eyes locked onto yours, the transit stretching on as he struggled to find the right words. Finally, he snapped, "Because you're terrible at driving!" It was a feeble excuse, an attempt to deflect from the real issue that loomed between you.

Your heart sank as you demanded answers, pleading with him to reveal the truth. "I'm not stupid, Mike. Tell me what is it!"

Mike's jaw clenched tightly, his mind racing as he tried to find the words to articulate his thoughts. But the harder he tried, the more elusive the truth seemed to become. The weight of the question pressed down upon him, threatening to crush the fragile foundation of their friendship.

Finally, he posed the question that hung between him like a cloud. "Do you hate the idea of being with me?" His heart pounded in your chest, waiting for your response, fear and hope to battle within him.

"What? Am I disgusting to you? Is it because I don't have a set job? Why?"

The weight of those words hung heavily between you, the car falling silent except for the hum of the engine. In that moment, everything felt on the line – your friendship, your future, and the truth that had been bubbling under the surface for so long.

"I never said that," you responded, your voice shaking with hurt and confusion. You grasped for some semblance of control amidst the chaos of your emotions.

"Well, you don't have to!" Mike declared, his voice wavering. Years of unspoken feelings finally burst forth, spilling out in a torrent of raw honesty. "We've avoided this for years. We're not friends!" The accusation hung in the air.

Mike recounted memories that flooded your minds, moments shared between the two of you that transcended the boundaries of friendship. "Holding hands at IKEA? Almost kissing? Showering together and almost having shower sex?"

With a bitter laugh, Mike snarled, "Friends, my balls. We're more than that, and we've been avoiding the truth for too long. It's time to face it."

"I just didn't know you liked me..." you reply, your voice barely above a whisper. The weight of the truth bore down on you, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief mixed with the overwhelming emotions that threatened to consume you.

Mike's eyes softened, and for a moment, the tension between you seemed to dissipate. "I've liked you for a long time," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I was scared to say anything, scared of losing you as a friend."

The car fell silent once more, the hum of the engine the only sound that broke the heavy silence. At that moment, the two of you sat there, grappling with the new reality that had been laid bare between you. The path forward was uncertain, but one thing was clear – the friendship you had cherished for so long has now changed.

Mike sighed deeply, attempting to gather his thoughts and steady his escalating emotions. "I understand if you don't want to ever see me again," he murmured, his tone filled with a combination of regret and resignation. Despite the turmoil, he reached out and gripped your hand tightly, a silent plea for understanding.

"But, if that is the case," he continued, his voice catching in his throat, "at least let me kiss you... for the first and last time." The request hung in the air, heavy with the implication of finality.

You felt your body tremble at his words, a mix of excitement and fear coursing through you. The prospect of sharing this intimate moment with Mike, the one person you'd always cared for, both thrilled and terrified you.

"I don't want to die without knowing what it feels like to kiss you," he said, his voice filled with a mix of longing and desperation. The weight of the moment bore down on both of you, the unspoken emotions finally giving voice.

"And you won't have to," you whispered, desperation mingling with determination in your voice. Without another word, you leaned in, closing the distance between you until your lips met his in a searing kiss that echoed the years of longing that had built up between you.

Mike hesitated for only a moment before responding, his arms wrapping around you as the passion of the moment took hold. The weight of the past years melted away, replaced by the intensity of the present. For once, the uncertainty that had plagued your friendship was gone, replaced instead by the electric connection that had always been there, hiding just beneath the surface.

As the kiss lingered, you began to realize that this was not the end, but the beginning of a new chapter for you both. The path forward may be fraught with uncertainty, but you were ready to face it together, finally embracing the love that had grown between you.

Fin, Hope you enjoyed! I just wanted to write more than smut 😪

#mike schmidt #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt fanfic #mike schmidt angst #mike schmidt headcanons #mike schmidt fnaf #mike schmidt x reader #mike schimdt x reader #mike schimdt smut #mike schmidt smut #mike schimdt x you #mike schmidt x y/n #mike schmidt x gn!reader #gender neutral reader

[actress4him]

Querencia 2 - Abandoned

(Prompt #4 for Summer of Whump)

Taglist: @darthsutrich

Previous | Next

Warnings: lady whumpee, teenage whumpee, mild blood, fantastic prejudice (for lack of a better term??), parental abandonment, foster system

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Some people’s powers manifest when they hit puberty. Others when they face a traumatic event, whether they’re a child or an adult.

Liliana isn’t really sure precisely when hers started, but she’s fourteen when she discovers what she can do. It’s a normal day at school, she’s hanging out with her friend Camila on the playground during recess, unaware that her life is about to change. Then Camila falls off the monkey bars and scrapes her elbow.

As she begins to cry, blood beading up around the torn skin, Liliana rushes to her and takes the injured elbow in her hands. Suddenly there’s some kind of blue aura dancing between the two girls’ skin. Gasping, Liliana lets go and falls back, but it’s too late. Camila is staring at her with impossibly wide eyes, cradling an elbow with only a bit of blood as evidence that it was ever hurt, and Liliana’s own elbow is smarting. She can hardly pay that any mind, though, not with her thoughts swirling around what she just saw.

Because she’s one of them. She’s a Non.

She’d been young when people with strange powers started popping up on the news all of a sudden, so she doesn’t know where the slang term came from. All she knows is that Nons aren’t to be trusted. Her father has said so, many a time over the dinner table. Her mother watches the news stories about Nons with a hand over her heart, frightened.

Camila’s mouth gapes open. “You...you’re…”

“Don’t, please.” She shakes her head frantically, tears stinging her eyes. “No lo sabia, I swear, Mila, por favor no...you can’t tell anyone.”

Her friend’s eyes are wide, uncertain. She looks from her own elbow, to Liliana’s hands, to her face. “Okay. Está bien, no lo haré. No se lo diré a nadie. I promise.”

And she keeps her promise. Camila never breathes a word of Liliana’s newfound powers to anyone, and Liliana makes sure not to touch anyone who’s hurt for a very long time.

Or at least she tries.

One time she touches her brother’s forehead when he’s sick, and he makes a ‘miraculous’ recovery. She, on the other hand ‘catches’ his cold, only she never actually runs a fever or needs to blow her nose. She just feels sick.

Thankfully no one suspects.

Another time she bumps into someone in the grocery store and hisses as her arm begins to throb. At home, she pushes up her sleeve to find out what’s wrong and sees nothing. Just her skin, smooth and brown as always. It feels like there’s a giant purple bruise there, though, the pain much worse when she brushes a finger across it.

Accidents happen. Liliana takes to wearing shirts with sleeves long enough to pull over her hands, no matter what the weather, to try to further avoid contact. She’d wear gloves all the time if that wasn’t sure to raise questions.

And all the while, the foreboding news about the Nons continues.

A Non robbed a bank. A Non killed three people. A Non cut off the electricity to an entire city.

She’s convinced that she’s the only good person with powers in the world. And her power could be so helpful for so many people, too, if only she was free to use it. Sure, it seems to transfer pain and sickness directly to her, but it never lasts. Even the scar that she got from Camila faded after a while, about the same time she stopped noticing it on her friend’s elbow, too. It’s possible that she could save people’s lives, rather than threatening them like all the other Nons seem to do.

Liliana manages to keep her secret for over a year before everything falls apart.

Her whole family is at the neighborhood’s Fourth of July celebration. Her mother is introducing her to Mrs. Bently, an elderly woman with kind blue eyes and wrinkled, gnarled hands. One of those hands is reaching for hers, and Liliana is frozen, wanting to pull away, afraid of what it will look like if she does, knowing somehow without a doubt that she cannot let this lady touch her hand, but unable to figure out how to stop it before it’s happening. The small white hand is clasped around her own. Liliana’s wearing long sleeves, as usual, despite the heat of July, but that doesn’t keep her fingertips from sticking out and touching skin.

She doesn’t dare to look down. She can feel the power going out of her, can hardly bite back a gasp as her fingers stiffen and begin to ache. But there’s still a smile on Mrs. Bently’s face, she hasn’t looked down, either, hasn’t seemed to notice. Maybe she can get away with this one more time, maybe her luck will continue and no one will know…

A strangled sound comes from somewhere to her right, and she remembers. Mamá is watching.

Don’t look don’t look don’t look she might not have seen she might not know if you look she’ll know she’ll see it on your face

Mrs. Bently’s friendly smile fades into a frown. Releasing Liliana’s hand, she brings her own hand up to look at it, flexing her fingers in a way that Liliana knows she can’t do herself right now.

“That’s...that’s so strange. My hand...it…” She laughs, incredulously, and Liliana wants to laugh with her, anything to break through the fear that’s pounding in her eardrums, but all she can do is pull her sleeve farther down to hide her aching fingers, pull until the shirt is threatening to fall off her shoulder. “It’s almost like when you touched my hand, my arthritis just...disappeared.” Another short laugh, and she reaches the same hand up to softly pat Liliana’s cheek. “Either I’m finally starting to lose my mind, or...or maybe you’re an angel sent to help an old woman.”

Another strange noise from the right, and Liliana finally gives in and looks.The expression that she sees is exactly what she feared. Mamá knows.

The rest of the day passes in a blur. All she’s aware of is that she’s bundled quickly into the car, harried excuses are made to friends, and she spends the evening in her room, hiding underneath the covers.

She doesn’t know what her parents are thinking right now. Are they mad? Disappointed? Scared?

“Anyone who says not all Nons are bad is an idiot,” Papá’s voice echoes in her mind. “An idiot who clearly isn’t keeping up with what’s going on in the world. None of them can be trusted. They all need to be rounded up and locked away for good.”

Liliana buries her head further and tries desperately to let sleep take her away from her worries.

The next morning someone knocks on her bedroom door. It isn’t locked, so she sits up quickly, combing her fingers through her mussed up hair - the fingers of her left hand, after she discovers that those on her right aren’t fond of the motion - and tries to rub away the restless night of tears from her face. “Come in.”

It isn’t her mother, father, or even her brother who enters. It’s a stranger, a tall, thin woman with her blonde hair pulled back into a severe bun. Liliana bolts upright, heart thumping wildly.

“¿Quién eres?”

“You need to pack your things.”

Shaking, Liliana attempts to back away, her thighs quickly bumping into the mattress. “What? Why?”

The woman sighs, pursing her lips, though it’s unclear whether she’s actually sympathetic or she’s just aggravated that whatever this is about hasn’t been explained yet. “Your parents have turned you over to the care of the state. I’m here to escort you to your new home.”

Liliana’s mind goes blank other than a high-pitched screeching in her ears. The woman is saying something else, she thinks, but nothing is processing. Finally she finds her voice enough to murmur, “No, no no no no no, that can’t...que no puede ser cierto, that’s...that’s not right, they wouldn’t...they can’t…”

The next thing she knows she’s pushing past the woman, ignoring whatever protests she’s giving. The house is quiet. Too quiet. There’s no music coming from her brother’s room, no pots and pans clanging in the kitchen, no tv incessantly blaring the news. But she searches each corner of the downstairs anyway, still hoping that she’ll find someone in her family who will tell her that this is all a mistake, a nightmare, maybe, that they would never, ever, send her away just because of something that she can’t control, that she would never use for anything but good.

She approaches the front door and it opens suddenly, letting in yet another stranger, a broad-shouldered man who just stands there, blocking the exit. “I’m going to have to ask you to follow the lady back upstairs and do what she says.”

The blonde woman appears behind her, at the foot of the stairs. “Your parents aren’t here. Everyone knows that Nons can be...volatile. It’s generally best if the family isn’t present when they’re taken into custody.”

Tears finally begin pouring down Liliana’s cheeks. “But I’m not, I’m not, I swear...I’ve never...I wouldn’t hurt anyone! My power is healing, anyway, I don’t…” Her babbling trails off, lost in the tornado of her thoughts.

Her family really called the government on her and...and left her.

They never even asked her any questions.

They didn’t try to find out what was going on, didn’t ask what her powers could do, weren’t concerned about the fact that she apparently has arthritis now, at the age of fifteen.

The fact that she’s their daughter, that they raised themselves and that they know, means nothing to them. She doesn’t even get the benefit of the doubt.

The blonde woman plasters a fake smile onto her face. “I know, sweetie. I’m sure you wouldn’t. But I’m afraid there are rules in place that have to be followed in cases like this.”

She doesn’t really have a choice. Between the two of them, they have her trapped, and what’s her alternative, anyway? Stay here and wait for a family that doesn’t want her anymore? Live her life with them always watching her, always distrusting, always waiting for her to snap and turn evil like the Non she is?

Liliana follows the woman back up the stairs and throws a few belongings into a backpack. She’s numb, moving on autopilot, no idea what she should actually be bringing. It feels like she’s packing for a weekend trip, not for the rest of her life.

The tears never stop the whole time.

As she’s escorted out to the black sedan waiting in the driveway, she swears she sees a glimpse of her parents’ car across the street. The driver is staring straight ahead, refusing to look this way, but the woman in the passenger’s seat’s cheeks glisten.

It’s probably just her imagination, though.

.

.

Spanish translations (please please let me know if I got something wrong):

“No lo sabia, I swear, Mila, por favor no...” - I didn’t know, I swear, Mila, please don’t...”

“Está bien, no lo haré. No se lo diré a nadie.” - Okay, I won’t. I won’t tell anyone.

“¿Quién eres?” - who are you?

“que no puede ser cierto” - that can’t be true

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump4 #abandoned #querencia #liliana the healer #lady whumpee #lady whump #teenage whumpee #backstory #mild blood tw #parental abandonment tw #foster system #prejudice tw #magical whumpee #magic powers #healing power #painful healing

[youwontlikethisblog]

Betty, My Betty! Part 2

Okay as I'm writing this I'm rewatching this scene over and over to make sure that I'm picking up the vibes correctly.

After all the entire point of my commentary is to digest what the writer, Fernando Gainta, the director and actors wanted us to know.

We're still in the same time frame of Armando finding out Betty has a boyfriend, though to the audience we are fully aware that Nicolas is just Betty's friend and the person she used to disguise her crush on Armando, in other words, Betty's true love is Armando and he doesn't know that but believes that Nicolas is which feeds the cycle of paranoia this man has.

The day between Marcela and Armando started off estranged due to their argument the night before. Though at first they seemed to tolerate each other when Marcela went to yell at Betty for the checks not being in cash, like she said she had told her, Armando went to Betty's aid and yelled at Marcela(in the hall before she made it to Betty's office) and then he got the worse news of his life and has been on a rollar coaster of emotions.

In this first scene I'll be talking about: Marcela enters Armando's office, pissed off. Her eyes are shooting bullets at Armando and his voice is.. how do I say nonchalant but annoyed? It's mostly an oxymoron.She's asked about the money. He does have a sharp tone as he tells her "My love, I just signed the papers for her to do that." His eyes aren't behind as he too is shooting bullets at his fiance.

I have a love hate relationship with Marcela. One moment I really like her and the next I could strangle her, not enough to actually do it but enough to imagine it.

Marcela has her arms folded in front of her looking apprehensive while shifting on her feet and shaking. Not only does her tone of voice allow us to pick up on her mood, so does her body language. She truly dispieses Betty.

I want to add here that the previous night when Marcela insulted Betty as she was leaving you could tell Betty was upset and not only because of the insults towards her and Marcela insulting her work ethics and role in the company but she stared dead at Armando as if also upset at him. I placed myself in her shoes and my inner monologue was "If only this dude could keep it in his pants and stop being such a whore so I wouldn't get told that I don't do what my father paid for me to study and instead I'm his pimp that would me great! I hate this and you." because we do see Betty being level headed and understanding where Marcela is coming from though Marcela also never makes Armando take accountability for his infidelity which is annoying on both their parts.

Back to this scene.

Armando glares at her and says "Can you give me a second, my love?" he mocks at the end. In the next frame we see Marcela rolling her eyes, arms folded in front of her and our dear and sweet(this is sarcastic) Mario Calderon sticking to the shadows observing and inspecting everything silently. This is important to take into account as this is what allows him to be such a good manipulator because you're not even aware that he's doing it.

Armando without taking his eyes off of Marcela then yells for Betty, twice and Betty runs towards him and in her very sweet and calm voice says "Yes Sir?". I've seen this scene one too many times because I often rewind to study certain scenes, even before I started to write these post and it wasn't until now that I paid attention to Marcela's reaction.

Once again Armando has eyes on Marcela the entire time. Not even when Betty enters the room does he turn to look at her. His tone continues to be strong, allowing us to know that the frustration or anger he's feeling is not directed towards Betty here but Marcela.

However Marcela(Let me just say the actress is so pretty) is now playing her neck, and rocking on her feet. As Armando says "Tell me, did you get the money for the lady?" Marcela's body language is very interesting. As she goes to rub her chin and sports a smirk on her face.

I'm trying to understand why she would react that way as just a second ago she was fuming and then annoyed because Armando was yelling.

These are my two conclusions:

1) Since her back is towards them she could be assuming that he is directing that tone of voice and anger towards Betty, which would make her happy that Betty is paying the price for their argument.

2) That it brings her joy to anger Armando. In a previous post I talked about how Marcela always seems to be looking for an excuse to lash out at Armando and it could be that she enjoys to get him riled up as she says in some episodes back (the make up seggs is always good) or she just likes making him miserable.

Betty goes to hand her the money and asks her if she'd be kind to sign the papers. Betty, even when Marcela had insulted her, her profession, and her role in the company, speaks to her with respect and kindness. Marcela doesn't even look at her. Instead she just grabs the money and starts counting. Mario is in the background taking it all in.

When Marcela laughs at this and tells her "Ha! Are you suspicious? (insinuating that Betty was calling her a thief) or what?"Mario's eyes grow big as he panics(remember that he is worried that if people yell at Betty she'll turn against them(he too isn't that bright as he later leaves a letter that does just that))

Now Armando's reaction is different as his expression softens and he shifts from being annoyed or angered to now trying to buffer the situation. He goes to say "My love you know perfectly well that's just formality. Stop bothering so much" his eyes are wide, his tone of voice shifts from annoyed to apprehensive and Marcela yells and tells him "Don't scream at me!" and he hisses her "You are unbearable."

Betty is really just standing between the both of them uncomfortable as I would too.

Marcela reminds Armando of what they talked about the previous night and how he hasn't done neither one thing or the other. We get a brief frame of Armando, lips tight in a line in anger to then softening them a bit to stare at Betty. This allows us to know that it is an unpleasant idea, in a sad way, for him to fire Betty or even think about it and not because she's the owner of Eco Moda.

Marcela proceeds to tell him not to expect a different Marcela or for her to be kind and we get music that sounds like the jaws song as she exits the office.

Now Mario has been there the entire time. He hasn't said a single thing or done anything to aid the situation. All he has done is read the room, hear and observe everything and everyone.

This is reminiscent of what we come to see of Armando and Marcela's relationship. This is the day where it is solidified that their relationship is doomed and over with. At least the side of their relationship that kept them off each others throats for long. Where Armando would at least make the effort to talk to her and be open, even when she always turned it around to make it about herself and he always had to swallow down his feelings and comfort her when it was him who needed it. Their relationship had some sort of fighting ground. That's what kept them fighting but if we're being honest here their relationship was mostly based on two people who just enjoyed screwing each other. It wasn't based on love, respect, honesty, or loyalty but based on the commitment to their parents and family and seggs.

When I was in middle school I had this teacher talk to us girls about lust and love and how at our age, which was emotional immaturity, we could assume that because we felt attraction it was love but that they were two different things.

Lust is based on physical wants and needs whilst love is based on emotional and spiritual wants and needs. Love is the desire to give while lust is the desire to receive.

Armando and Marcela have never been in love with each other instead they've been in lust with each other except one mistakes this lust for love and mistakes love for possession.

Knowing to tell these things apart in our romantic life helps us establish a healthy relationship and sadly Marcela hasn't learned to tell these two things apart and this scene shows us that very well. Their relationship is doomed and there is no going back because she asked for the head of the person who is changing the life of Armando Mendoza and not just professionally and economically but in a mental and emotional way and though he isn't aware of that yet his subconscious is and it's made up its mind.

As Mario proceeds to ask him what she's talking about he[Armando] tells him that Marcela asked for Betty's head. We then see Betty standing by her closed office door listening in.

Mario asks shocked "What?" because of course, how could he allow Marcela to ask for the head of the secret owner of Eco Moda?

Again our dear and stupid Armando is in another planet, or solar system, point is he isn't in the same wavelength that Mario is in. He goes to explain that Marcela thinks Betty is his accomplice and fixes him up with his dates which then leads to Mario frantically telling him that she's crazy and he can't contemplate that option.

Armando again is biting his thumb nail, he's nervous but agrees and his mood changes drastically. He looks determined as he tells Mario "I know, I know. Look, no one is going to touch Betty!"(in spanish he says "Nadie me va a tocar a Betty" making it possessive that no one will take Betty from him) and we get a cut to Betty hearing him say that.

Here's the important thing to note throughout this scene. Armando's body language and his reaction is shown directed towards Marcela, not Betty. While Mario directs the topic to Betty being the new owner of Eco Moda, therefore shouldn't be yelled at or fired, Armando is sticking to the emotional aspect of it all. How could he fire the girl who is unconditional and loyal to him? How can he fire the girl he likes? and most importantly that no one is taking his Betty away from him. Be that Marcela asking for her head(he's willing to pay the price and whatever Marcela throws at him but he isn't firing her) or Nicolas Mora being her boyfriend.

What makes this concrete? When he tells Mario that Marcela is just taking advantage of the situation with Claudia and that she's always wanted Betty out it shows us hIS thought process. He isn't concerned over Betty being the new owner. If he were he'd mentioned it, just like Mario has. He would say "Marcela isn't aware she's the new owner but we are and I can't fire her." but those words never escape his mouth, even in secrecy with Mario. However, Mario does say those words even when Betty is in the room over or at least insinuates it.

Fast-forward a bit we get a scene of Claudia picking up a bottle of an alcoholic beverage and we get a clean cut to Armando pouring himself a drink. The parallel would be Claudia is drinking because she is heartbroken due to Armando kicking her out of his office so angrily the previous night and then we have Armando pouring himself a drink in the same time frame, he is stressed and he has started to drink more in the past few days but the back to back scenes with the same music tell us that he's also drinking due to a broken heart.

Armando can't catch a break right now.

Again this isn't speculation as when Mario point that out and tells him that it's too early to be drinking Armando gives him a list of excuses saying "Don't you think I've got a pretty sinister day today? Marcela and I are at each other's throats and today is the new[collection] launch. Plus! In that hotel there's a crazy model waiting for me and I don't know what she's going to do when I get there" The problems go escalating little by little as he list them and then he says "and on top of that, on top of everything-" when we say that phrase it means that we've already established we've got problems but what makes all those problems worse, what makes your situation worse is the next problem you're about to list which is the worst. His tone goes from being frustrated like he was naming the other problems to bringing his voice down and in a solemn tone saying "My Betty, has a boyfriend." he then proceeds to say that they are in his[Nicolas aka Betty's eternal love] hands.

Now one again could argue that his concern is Eco Moda because now he is untrustful of Betty and Nicolas with Eco Moda and I will argue back that the writing tells us otherwise.

[Read my two previous post regarding this because it makes it clear that the writer wanted us to know that Armando did trust Betty and Nicolas previous to the knowledge that Nicolas is Betty's eternal love.(I like to say that because I imagine that's what Armando hears in his head when he thinks of Nicolas)]

Had that been his concern he would have said this: 'Don't you think I've got a pretty sinister day? Tonight is the launch for the new collection, there's a crazy model waiting for me at the hotel and I don't know what she's going to do to me when I get there and plus we're in Betty and Nicola's hands now because I've lost the company and on top of that Marcela and I are at each other's throats!' but he continues to hang onto the fact that Betty, his Betty, has a boyfriend which is his biggest concern next to Nicolas existing.

His anguish is that: Betty has a boyfriend.

His concern is that: The boyfriend works in Terra Moda.

His pain in the butt is: Marcela is at his throat asking for Betty's head.

Mario then tells him that he won't deny that he is worried about Betty's situation but that they need to handle the situation delicately and that Armando cannot judge her for it. Cut to a frame of Armando staring at his glass of whisky to squinting his eyes at Mario; who then tells Armando not to criticize Betty's personal life. Again Mario is trying to keep Armando from pushing Betty against them in turn taking away the company.

"You can't question her for not telling you about the boyfriend. You can't take away your trust!" he hisses at the end.

Armando's eyes are the main reaction we get here as the rest of his face is covered by the whisky glass he had in hand. His eyes narrow. He is concentrating on what Mario is telling him and is paying attention to him.

This is setting ground for the later manipulation as Armando begins to do this a lot.

The music changes to a more intriguing one. Mario stands up and leans towards Armando on the desk and whispers "you know what we have to do? What we have to do is to really figure out who he is, what he does and what kind of person he is before we start to panic."

Now who is Nicolas?

We know he is Betty's oldest friend and longest friendship and that he cares about Betty. He went to defend her against Roman and his friends even when he got hit for it. We know that he is protective of her and besides having a crush on a woman we know and he knows bullies and mistreats Betty, he is a good friend to Betty.

He prioritizes her feelings and he does anything to make her happy. Even going along with Betty's lies and schemes.

He tries to advise her to put everyone in their place when they abuse her for her looks when she becomes the owner of Eco Moda, once again showing us that he wants Betty's best interest and doesn't like that people treat her poorly. He is naive and somewhat dumb when it comes to real life problems like dating and social interactions.

Personally I find Nicolas endearing and I think Nicolas has always been very kind to Betty and always done his best to put a smile on her face.

He does let himself get distracted with the idea of riches and he brags about what he doesn't have but even then Nicolas is still morally and ethically correct. He has those tendencies and desires but he never goes through with them because his love for Betty and his loyalty to her keep him from it.

Nicolas is a good person flaws and all.

We know this, Betty knows and Armando knows this.

How are we sure he knows this?

Betty herself said to him "He is my other me" I don't have to breakdown what that means because we know she means that he is basically the same person within that she is therefore, Armando knows who Nicolas is and his distrust isn't based on Nicolás taking the company away. When he said that they were now in his hands he could have meant "Betty is in his hands".

It's important once again to understand this because it isn't until later that day that he finds out about what Mariana told Betty, again we know that Nicolas is the alias Betty uses for Armando, but he doesn't know this.

Right now his true anguish is that Betty has a boyfriend and that boyfriend is Nicolas Mora, an object of disdain to him now and we understand his mistrust isn't based on Eco Moda and what they could do to it but that Nicolas is Betty's boyfriend and he can take her away from him.

It isn't until after Bertha tells him everything Mariana said about Betty and her eternal love(I am referring to the real one being Armando) that he begins to distrust Nicolas as an individual(without Betty) who can "manipulate" Betty with love to turn against them and this then shows the true disgusting nature that two egocentric and selfish people will show.

Armando did use Betty to secure Eco Moda and it is wrong. Mario thought that the only way a girl like Betty could ever get anyone interested in her or get someone to love her was only on interest of money. However and I need to remind you of this, Armando had another reason to go with the plan and it wasn't just that he is a disgusting human being at this point of the novela, but he subconsciously already liked Betty. He already had feelings for her that he didn't understand and he tried to justify for other things.

My personal theory regarding this topic is that Armando in a sense thought he was saving the company and Betty. He thought that by going along with this plan to make Betty fall in love with him he was saving her from Nicolas, who didn't truly love or care about Betty in his opinion and was only going to use her for the money but unlike him [Nicolas] Armando did care for her even if he didn't understand how and the depths of his feelings towards Betty. So he killed two birds with one stone.

He would secure that Nicolas wouldn't convince Betty to take away Eco Moda by promising her love and that Nicolas didn't take Betty away from him therefore saving Betty from pain.

I still haven't gotten to those episodes, I have seen them so I'm going off by memory but again, these three minute or five minute scenes give so much information. Fernando Gaitan did a tremendous job with foreshadowing and parallels(also the actors all have so many ticks that identify their moods that it's so fun to watch!) that it's really fun to pick apart these scenes because they have later consequences in the following episodes.

This post is already long enough lol so I will make another post about this same episode.

#armando mendoza #don armando #armando ysblf #analysis of ysblf #ysblf #beatriz pinzón solano #betty ysblf #betty la fea #mario calderon #marcela valencia #nicolas mora

[dianashiori]

How is Sebastián hiding his second life with (Tn)? / ¿Cómo es Sebastián escondiendo su segunda vida con (Tn)?

English Version:

In the first place, he prefers to keep his affairs and personal life private, in the second place Sebastián will not tolerate that his lover is put in a compromising situation, he prefers that both worlds where he lives are separated and so everything is easier, on the one hand it is a perfect butler, but on the other hand he is a loving and passionate lover, third and last, he hates sharing his beloved, he has to tolerate sharing her with his family, friends and the people of the city, as if to have to add another intruder more to the equation.

His beloved knows that Sebastián is a butler, he knows that sometimes Sebastián will not come home for a few days, he knows that sometimes he will only see him for a few hours a day and above all he knows that his lover is a demon.

But she still decided to continue by her lover's side, waiting for him every night sitting on her sofa, reading one of her favorite books, she had an unspeakable secret that she only enjoyed when her lover was away, she went around the house without her underwear , only with his clothes to walk around the house.

Sebastian on the other hand did a search of at least 5 kilometers around his little abode to make sure that nobody was following him and to make sure that nobody had discovered his traps, which were a secret even from his little girlfriend. He passed through various places checking each and every one of the traps, none triggered, luckily, it was then that he walked along the small stone path that led him to the clearing where his house was built.

The demon still remembered how he had proposed to his beloved to live together. The girl's family had been against her relationship with Sebastián, as the girl made the mistake of mentioning that they did not plan to marry because he did not believe in any religion that could offer a wedding between them. What caused an awakening of traditions and religious sentimentality that hammered the peace of both at the time of their "appointments" in the light of day. Taking Sebastián to propose to his beloved to live together as a couple, with the girl immediately accepting.

After that proposal Sebastián was in charge of preparing everything for his little plan, he built a small but comfortable house for both of them. He instructed his beloved not to go out on another path other than the stone path, warning her of the hidden animal traps in the area. He strictly forbade him to bring other people home, assuring him that only in an emergency could he reveal the location of the same.

The demonized butler told him about his master's enemies and that because of that he could not bring anyone home and watch his steps back home when he was not around.

The young woman gladly accepted, because with the passage of time Sebastián proved to be a very affectionate and passionate lover that allowed her to maintain her freedom, something that was denied on many occasions at her parents' house, the girl could dress as her She felt like having her hair down, sleeping late on weekends, hanging out with friends, and reading whatever book she'd like without having to ask permission. In short, there was no one to deny him freedom.

At night Sebastian would come home to his beloved after making sure to clean up the area full of intruders in the mansion. The young woman was waiting for him with the open book and resting on her belly that rose and fell due to her calm breathing, she was so asleep that she did not hear Sebastian announce his arrival.

Seeing her in front of him brought back that feeling of satisfaction and satiety that he had carried within him since he left his small house the previous morning. It was his addiction to that small but beautiful body that made him want to go home. Only the kittens managed to calm that hunger of their beloved a little, which is why he appreciated them more if possible. He took her in his arms and carried her to the bed, where he gently slid her under the covers. He took off part of his clothes until he was in pants and his white shirt. He settled behind his mistress and hugged her from behind to draw her to him and press his nose to her neck where he took a deep breath.

If the other demons knew the reason why he was subjected to a romantic relationship with a human they would laugh, but he did not care, as any drug addict would never give up his vice for the opinion of others. He was so distracted in his little ecstasy that he did not He noticed that his beloved began to turn to steal a kiss on the tip of his nose, puzzling him a bit.

-Do you like the smell of my hair?

-I love.

-You had a lot of work?

-No, just the usual, that and having to count the hours to see you.

-I also missed you a lot.

-Not as much as me.

He proceeded to kiss her and attract more of the young woman's body to his, he loved being able to hug her, because that was when he could hear that hypnotizing beat so close to her body that he managed to make him sigh. Although they had not maintained intimacy yet, there was something that aroused Sebastian's interest because of that low instinct to which he was accustomed, a simple kiss, mouth to mouth, would be enough to ignite his desire and curiosity to know what it would feel like to be inside his most addictive drug.

A simple human completely altered the patience and temperature of the demon that lay hugging and kissing her as if it were the last time.

A rude noise was heard from outside his abode, * clack * was heard again followed by a scream that only the demon heard as if he had him by his side, but that the human in his arms heard in the distance, which was where there was the seized man who had dared to pry into his hiding place.

-I think you should go see who it was.

-I will if when I come back you confess why you are at home without underwear.

-How did you know?

The demon just smiled and slid his hand down his girlfriend's leg and stopped before reaching the start of his lover's hip.

Versión Español:

En primer lugar, prefiere mantener sus asuntos y vida personal en privado, en segundo lugar Sebastián no tolerará que su amante sea puesta en una situación comprometida, prefiere que ambos mundos dónde vive estén separados y así todo sea más fácil, por un lado es un mayordomo perfecto, pero por otro es un amante amoroso y apasionado, en tercer y último lugar, detesta compartir a su amada, tiene que tolerar compartirla con su familia, sus amigos y la gente de la ciudad, como para tener que sumar otro intruso más a la ecuación.

Su amada sabe que Sebastián es un mayordomo, sabe que a veces Sebastián no llegará a casa por unos cuantos días, sabe que a veces solo lo verá por pocas horas al día y sobre todo sabe que su amante es un demonio.

Pero ella aun así decidió seguir al lado de su amado, esperándolo todas las noches sentada en su sofá, leyendo uno de sus libros favoritos, tenía un secreto inconfesable del cual solo disfrutaba cuando su amado no estaba, iba por la casa sin su ropa interior, solo con su ropa de andar por casa.

Sebastián por otro lado hacia una revisión de por lo menos 5 kilómetros alrededor de su pequeña morada para asegurarse de que nadie lo estuviera siguiendo y para asegurarse de que nadie había descubierto sus trampas, las cuales eran un secreto incluso para su pequeña novia. Paso por varios lugares revisando todas y cada una de las trampas, ninguna accionada, por suerte, fue entonces que camino por el sendero pequeño de piedra que lo llevaba hacía el claro donde su casa estaba construida.

El demonio aún recordaba como le había propuesto a su amada vivir juntos. La familia de la chica habían estado en contra de su relación con Sebastián, pues la chica cometió el error de mencionar que no planeaban casarse porque él no era creyente de ninguna religión que pudiera ofrecer una boda entre ambos. Lo que provocó un despertar de tradiciones y sentimentalismo religioso que martillo la paz de ambos a la hora de sus “citas” a la luz del día. Llevando a Sebastián a proponerle a su amada vivir juntos como una pareja, con la chica aceptando inmediatamente.

Después de aquella propuesta Sebastián se encargó de preparar todo para su pequeño plan, construyó una casa pequeña pero cómoda para ambos. Instruyó a su amada para que no saliera por otro caminó que no fuera el camino de piedras, advirtiéndole de las trampas de animales escondidas por la zona. Le prohibió terminantemente traer a otras personas a casa, asegurándole que solo en caso de emergencia podía revelar la ubicación de la misma.

El endemoniado mayordomo le habló acerca de los enemigos de su amo y que debido a eso no podía traer a nadie a casa y vigilar sus pasos de regreso a casa cuando él no estuviera cerca.

La joven acepto con gusto, debido a que con el paso del tiempo Sebastián demostró ser un amante muy cariñoso y apasionado que le permitía mantener su libertad, cosa que en muchas ocasiones le fue negada en casa de sus padres, la chica podía vestir como le apetecía, tener suelto su cabello, dormir hasta tarde en fines de semana, salir con amigas y leer cualquier libro que le gustará sin tener que pedir permiso. En pocas palabras no había nadie que le negara la libertad.

Por la noche Sebastián llegaba a casa con su amada después de asegurarse de limpiar la zona llena de intrusos en la mansión. La joven le esperaba con el libro abierto y descansando en su vientre que subía y bajaba por su tranquila respiración, estaba tan dormida que no escucho a Sebastián anunciar su llegada.

Verla frente a él le devolvió ese sentimiento de satisfacción y saciedad que llevaba dentro de sí desde que se fue de su pequeña casa la madrugada anterior. Era su adicción a ese pequeño, pero hermoso cuerpo, lo que lo tenía con ansias de volver a su hogar. Solo los mininos lograban calmar un poco esa hambre de su amada, razón por la cual los apreciaba más de ser posible. La tomo entre sus brazos y la llevo hasta la cama, donde la deslizo suavemente por debajo de las sabanas. Se quito parte de su ropa hasta quedar en pantalones y su camisa blanca. Se acomodo detras de su ama y la abrazo por la espalda para atraerla hacia él y pegar su nariz a su nuca donde aspiro profundamente.

Si los demás demonios supieran la razón de porque se sometia a una relación romantica con una humana se reirian, pero a él no le importaba, como cualquier drogadicto nunca dejaria su vicio por la opinion ajena.Estaba tan distraido en su pequeño extasis que no se dio cuenta de que su amada comenzo a girarse para robarle un beso en la punta de la nariz, desconcertandolo un poco.

-¿Te gusta el olor de mi cabello?

-Me encanta.

-¿Tuviste mucho trabajo?

-No, solo lo de siempre, eso y tener que contar las horas para verte.

-Yo también te extrañé mucho.

-No tanto como yo.

Procedió a besarla y atraer más el cuerpo de la joven al suyo, amaba poder abrazarla, pues era cuando podía escuchar ese hipnotizante latido tan cerca de su cuerpo que lograba hacerlo suspirar. Aunque no habían mantenido intimidad aún, había algo que despertaba el interés de Sebastián por ese instinto tan bajo al que estaba acostumbrado, un simple beso, boca a boca, sería suficiente para encender su deseo y curiosidad por saber que se sentiría estar dentro de su droga más adictiva.

Una simple humana alteraba por completo la paciencia y temperatura del demonio que yacia abrazándola y besandola como si fuera la última vez.

Un grosero ruido se escuchó desde afuera de su morada, *clack* se escucho otra vez seguido de un grito que solo el demonio escucho como si lo tuviera a su lado, pero que la humana en sus brazos escuchó a lo lejos, que era donde estaba el incautó que se había atrevido a husmear en su escondite.

-Creo que deberías ir a ver quien fue.

-Lo haré si cuando vuelva me confiesas porque andas por casa sin ropa interior.

-¿Como lo supiste?

El demonio solo sonrió y deslizó su mano por la pierna de su novia y se detuvo antes de llegar al inicio de la cadera de su amante.

#kuroshitsuji #sebastian #sebastian michaelis #sebastian michaelis x reader #anime #sebastian x lectora #sebastian michaelis español #black butler #black butler x reader #black butler x y/n #black butler x t/n #sebastian michaelis x (y/n)

[weirdestbooks]

Secret States Chapter 13

Look One State That Isn't Mad At America's Family

Canada POV

I still couldn't believe Vermont was here in front of me. I thought he was dead for so long and now he was here in front of me. His flag was different, but he was still had the same voice and everything that reminded me so much of the Vermont Republic.

Of course, he was the Vermont Republic. It brought back so many memories. When Père and America were tearing apart their relationship, and Vermont and I getting caught in the middle, becoming friends despite being on opposite sides.

It sound like something out of a cheesy movie or whatever. People on opposite sides becoming friends. Good thing this was real life and there was much less buddy-buddy as opposed to stabby-stabby.

We're countries (or states and unions and organizations and space programs. You get it). We don't exactly play nice with each other. Even if we want too.

"So...how have you been?" Vermont asked, sounding a bit nervous. I didn't blame him though. I was nervous too. I had been told Vermont was still alive, but it was just hard to believe until I saw him.

"I've been good. It's just...things are very different now." I said, unsure of how to start a conversation. It had been over 200 years since we last talked. What if Vermont has changed so much that's he didn't want to stay friends with me. I wouldn't blame him. I had attacked his sister and hurt her.

I still didn't want to forgive myself for that. Vermont gave a little laugh.

"Yeah. Things are very different." Vermont said before sighing, "I know you have questions. You can ask them if you want."

"I...I...I don't know what to ask. I have a lot of questions and things don't make sense anymore." I told him. Vermont nodded.

"Yeah. Papa kept a lot of stuff hidden. Now that it's all being dragged out of where it was hidden, well, you're not the only one whose struggling to make sense of it." Vermont said.

"Why did he hide it?" I asked. I just wanted to know the answer to that question. My brother was hurting himself, and he didn't seem to care. He had hidden away important parts of himself and insists there's nothing wrong. He was traumatized by an event that he couldn't even hear anything relating to it, and was so determined to keep that secret that he convinced everyone who knew of it to keep it secret as well. Vermont sighed again.

"I don't think I can give you the best answer to that. You'll have to ask Papa, but what I do know is that post-independence, and I mean like right afterwards, Papa didn't have anyone that he was close to that he could trust, except for me, and later Morocco. He kept it secret at first because he didn't have anyone he could trust. And I think he still believes that there's not a lot of people he can trust." Vermont explained.

"What about his family? Ame knows he can trust us, right?" I asked. America did know that right? He didn't think we would look down on him for being different than what people expect, for making mistakes, for being a union, for having kids? He knew he could trust me, right?

"You tried to kill him Bec. He hasn't forgotten that. Even if he's fixed his relationship with you, he's not going to forget that. Besides, Papa's been stabbed in the back to many times to trust easily again."  Vermont said. I put my head in my hands.

God I had fucked up badly. I thought that America knew he could trust us, and that if something really was bothering him he'd go to someone. I know things between America and I weren't always the best, especially in the early 1800s, but I thought things had gotten better.

I trusted America and I thought he did as well. I just wanted my brother to be okay. Why couldn't things go back to the way they were, before the Revolution, before all of the wars that destroyed America's trust in people.

Before I destroyed America's trust in me.

I guess America keep everything a secret had one advantage. Everyone thought America was okay, and only worried about him causing another world war. But now we had to worry about America's mental and physical health, because America's made it clear he didn't care about that.

Everything was so fucked up now.

"Are you alright? I know I dumped a bunch of stuff on you." Vermont asked. I shook my head.

"No. Everything's just do different and...and...I don't know how to explain it, it's just...I want to help Ame, but I can't help him if he doesn't let me. I want to be able to have a familial relationship with you and the rest of your siblings, but I've fucked up so much, with the Burning of Washington and eve thing bad that's happened between Ame and I." I told him.

I just wanted things to go back to the semblance of normal it was before.

But I also wanted to know about America's problems and children.

Why couldn't anything be normal?

"Well, regardless of whether you messed up with Papa, you were going to have to get to know my siblings before they started calling you family. But I know at least one state who will want to have a family relationship with you. That state is me. Now we have to change the topic because this is starting to sound like a fucking Disney movie." Vermont said. I snorted at his last comment, but smiled.

"Thanks Mont." I said. Vermont smiled

"You might have messed up, but you're a good person Uncle Bec. Now let's change the fucking topic I don't want to be in a Disney movie. I have maple syrup let's talk about that." Vermont said. I laughed. I knew that I had fucked up with the states, but Vermont still wanted to call me his uncle.

Vermont called me his uncle. I felt tears well up. I was so happy. Things could be fixed, things could get better.

"And now your crying. This is getting more like a Disney movie. Next thing we know Florida's going to show up." Vermont said. God, I had forgotten how sarcastic Vermont could be. I missed him so much. I was so happy that Vermont was willing to call me his uncle, to put aside the past times I've fucked up and accept me as a part of his family.

"Hola Vermont, sombrero raro tío. Escuché Disney." (Hello Vermont, weird hat dude. I heard Disney.) I heard someone say. I turned around to see Florida with a panther.

"No you didn't. Please go hang out with Ohio. You weirdos can go get yourself killed doing something stupid again." Vermont said. Florida frowned.

"Pues no debes qué ser grosero. Solo quise ofrecer mi servició." (Well you don’t have to be rude. I was just trying to offer my services.) Florida said, smiling. I wish I knew Spanish. I mean, I had learned a little from Mexico, but not enough to follow the conversations in Spanish the states seemed fond of having.

"Florida, nadie quiere tus servicios por qué siempre incluyen demasiados reptiles, pateras, y formas de matarse." (Florida, no one wants your services because they involve way to many reptiles, panthers, and ways to get yourself killed.) Vermont shot back at Florida, this time in Spanish.

"Pues no es mi culpa que soy inmortal." (Well its not my fault I’m immortal.) Florida said with a smirk. Vermont looked annoyed.

"Todos somos técnicamente inmortal Florida." (We’re all technically immortal Florida.) He said with a heavy sigh.

"Oh yeah." Florida said. Vermont rolled his eyes.

"I will set Kitty on you." Florida said as he noticed the eye roll. I looked at the panther next to Florida. Oh no. This was another Australia, wasn't it? I should of realized that when I saw the snake. Vermont smiled at me.

"Ne t'inquiète pas, oncle Bec. Nous essayons de l'éloigner de l'Australie. Au moins pour l'instant." (Don't worry Uncle Bec. We're trying to keep him away from Australia. At least for now.) Vermont muttered.

"I wish I knew French. Are you insulting me Mont, you sassy, halfway decent New Englander?" Florida said.

"Wait wouldn't people from New England be called the New English, not New Englander?" I asked. Vermont laughed.

"Oh god I wished English worked that way. We're called New Englanders from some weird reason." Vermont said.

"I'll tell you the reason. English is a hell language. And let me tell you, learning English as a second language is horrible Uncle Canada." Florida said. I felt myself tearing up again. Two states were willing to accept me as their Uncle even after what I had done to America and DC.

"And he's crying again." Vermont commented.

"Sorry. I just...I just expected everyone to hate me for the Burning of Washington." I said. Florida shook his head.

"I don't. Remember Uncle Canada. I knew you when you were Quebec as well. We were both British colonies together. I know you're a good person." Florida said. I felt really happy. I was so afraid everyone would hate me, that America still hated me. And they didn't. They didn't hate me. I began crying tears of joy, which means...

"Wow he's actually crying hard now."

Vermont's going to make a comment on it.

"Can you say anything other than that? But seriously, Uncle Canada, I will fight any of my siblings that won't accept you into our family. Kitty, Algodón, my gators, and my crocodiles will take them down." Florida said, raising his fists. This kid really was like Australia. Nobody else has that many dangerous animals as pets.

"Ginny, Mary, and D are skeptical." Vermont said. Florida put his fists down.

"I will not longer fight any of my siblings that won't accept you into our family. Sorry, but I'm not making Ginny mad. Thats's West's job." Florida said. Who was Ginny? And West? I mean, they were most likely states, although I didn't know if those were nicknames, or their actual state names.

"Thank you, thank you, merci. Thank you for forgiving me for what I did." I said. Vermont smiled and hugged me.

"We all mess up Uncle Bec. You're trying to fix things, and I can tell you truly feel horrible about it." Vermont said. Florida nodded.

"Yeah I fucked up pretty badly back in 1861, but I got forgiven. Eventually." Florida said. Vermont shot back from the hug and glared at Florida. And the happiness from being accepted as an uncle my two of my nephews left, replaced by the feeling of dread that crept in every time the 1860s were mentioned.

America. What the hell happened to you and your children? What the hell happened?

"¡Florida! ¡Cállate! Se supone que no debías ha decir eso!" (Florida! Shut up! You’re not supposed to mention it!) He said. Florida looked slightly panicked.

"¡Lo siento! ¡Salió per accidente!" (Sorry! It slipped out!) He said. Vermont sighed, rubbing his head with a hand.

"Uncle Bec. Don't ask. Please." Vermont said, his voice slightly shaky. I nodded. I didn't want to pry into it, because I knew it won't get anything but the states to close themselves off to me. I would find out what's happening. Eventually.

But that wasn't going to happen soon. But America wasn't going to talk about it until he learned how to trust us again. I could wait. I wanted to get America's trust back. I wanted to show my brother that I was someone he could trust with his secrets.

"You can tell me when you're ready." I said. Florida and Vermont let out sighs of relief.

"Thank god. I don't want Ginny to know I slipped up." Florida muttered. I sighed. Things seemed so complicated. The door to America's room opened and I saw Maman leave.

"Hola France." Florida said. Maman smiled, before seeing the tear tracks on my face and her expression changed to one of concern.

"Canada are you alright?" Maman asked. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I said.

"Uncle Canada's just really happy that the two of us call him uncle." Florida said. Maman looked excited.

"Are all of the states doing that?" Maman asked.

"Only us so far. Most of the the states are choosing to acknowledge familial relations after getting to meet you, although some of them are more skeptical. How's Papa?" Vermont asked after giving his explanation.

"Asleep." Maman said. Vermont raised an eyebrow and Florida looked surprised, before pulling out his phone and doing something.

"How long ago did he fall asleep?" Florida asked.

"About 3 minutes ago. Why?" Maman answered.

"We keep track of how much Papa sleeps so we know when we need to force him to sleep, or just when he might pass out from exhaustion." Vermont explained.

"Does Ame know you do this?" I asked. America seemed so insistent on refusing help, even if he was hurting his health. Florida laughed, although it sounded slightly bitter.

"Padre barley takes care of himself. If he won't, we will. But if he knew, he wouldn't let us do this, and insist he was fine." Florida said.

"Papa's not fine. He's put too much pressure on himself. And not matter what he does, everyone always seems to hate him. Even if he's just trying to help. That kind of constant treatment grates away at his self worth, and self confidence. I don't think anyone hates Papa more than he does." Vermont said.

Oh, America. I want to help you. Let your family help you. You may hate yourself, but we don't. Let us help you, and get rid of the pressure you put on yourself. We can help with your family. They're our family too.

And we'll make sure we get that into you thick, stubborn skull.

#secret states by weird #weird’s wattpad stories #countryhumans #statehumans #writing

[sirjustice1115]

To make it secrete they wanted to kill the fellow who told them so, so they keep on, on the same dude

Even on the other electronics machine like Stereo or TV and computers, u can be traced if made in a such way using the sense heat panel of the thump to read your temperatures and pulse rate if the govt had taken the same of all citizens to display or relay to the radar dude and even with guns and other ammunition like grenade and cars and even door 4 houses bro.

The metal detectors and of guns and bombs can be placed into all sides of the house of all angle to curb house theft as burglary in those aiming to use guns to terorise and rob the house man, a thing that the security firm can install in houses and businesses and properties to bar the same above and create employment altogether dude and even got software to read into ya smartphone. This will be first if the security firms got gun drones not making it to the scene to enable ya sweet escape dude. Crime must be solved once and 4 good dude. Such methodology lies on such capture relayed to the server with already store of ya detail dude. Like with the Russian drone radar below on water lands to identify such related crimes, are placed next to water masses, beauty is, the sensor tip can be tickling or rotating at 180 degree back and forth to increase the censoring or capture surface area as they are lined in linear way at intervals of the measure so not to detect another radar sensor to bring false information, the interval is 7 KM as state in the below link and same can be twisted to look upward to get data from the sky, as enemies or intruder via the air dude. So no escape from sabibo dude, got to think twice if ya agenda was to get well in life via the same. Even airplane should have the same on all side as well as beneath and up the plane to get such data to evade the falling of airplanes as recently witnessed with air china, Malaysia and Philippines and even military vehicles, choppers and jets and on any car the owner desires to whose life are in always danger to increase sales of such products to pump more monies into the economy and employ such who will install the same and work in such corporations dude. Even submarine can have a mini tiny drone that runs on water alongside the submarine to detect foreign radars as above and now they are using the begging/wanting ya food gimmicks to way people it could not be them of tiny/minute minds.

Most nations 10 years back i had sent information on how submarine and military drones using radar are made, they made the same and kept using such in ambushes like falling airplanes after using those who transfigure to ransack through it and if the find much valuables or monies they fall it and even take the wreckage and place in the submarine and get away with it so not know where the plane crushed, to breed rumors of false black box or play amidst grown up. Like the Rwanda drone, SA 1, Kenyan, Tanzania one, Ghana one or Nigeria 1 were made long as the launch of Innoson and kantanka cars but hidden to facilitate the above. Now mostly Kamba, luo, kikuyu and most rwandi and Tanzanians or Nigerians and many more nations, around burst into anger or are furious, reason be, sources of free cash blocked to facilitate their agendas as recently seen with mega developments into the city estates or buildings as much as roads, airlines and even car or rail of such nations mention above. Like with fake currency we got such reading machines to get them offline and the radar like with Russia they fear are placed or the airplane harbors the same dude. If u did not know and 4 ya information period dude

Gadgets, foods and other necessities can well be made in the city liter hanged on a post garbage like a banner, still it can be automatic as it moves up it makes another machine or downwards at the height u made tomato, u got to get up the pole 4 you to make another something else like ripe paw paw or baby shampoo, napkins and pumper or powder or bomb detector and more but can be made big and still in the city ones still makes gadgets dude and even with a big squire or rectangular tank with its hind tip immersed on water, sand or soil or hay/grass can make submarine, buses and airplane if made big and can be metallic or another material no limitation dude as in the link below. Both can be placed in uplifted lands which can be made artificially or on queries, sea, lake shores or in flat or depression dude

https://www.cupertino.org/our-city/departments/environment-sustainability/garbage-recycling

Butter nut made when few sample placed next to kale in such above container then just underneath or on the other immediate side of the road chop that concrete slab bar juice of cooked cabbage poured or place close to chilies and chop wood soaked in avocado juice or kale juice or chop guava seed when place closed to avocado seeds and even can be made in plane or side hole of the factory basement dude and even Sodom apple tree leaves place next to grown grass in tip immerse into water big container then u chop wood immersed in clay soil water or hurl acid unto cut tomato and tries as well with all veggies soaked in something else dude. Top squash growing world nations

https://www.tridge.com/intelligences/butter-nut/production

Gadgets amde in other nations in the link below

https://www.arabianbusiness.com/transport/451697-saudi-backed-lucid-motors-launches-its-first-electric-vehicle

https://web.facebook.com/ADH-home-appliances-ug-106009137767345/

Tank immersed in stagnant water half way in a tank, when heap in  such tanks makes alternator generators dude, like in a dug big quarry u  do the boom process next to down water level bro

https://www.cgafrica.com/gallery/typical-south-african-police-car

https://www.legit.ng/1213194-south-african-man-hendrick-chebanga-wows-social-media-handmade-sports-car-photos.html

Ng’ani  ng’icho nadi gi wang moner ka ng’a moneno thel nyako mosegombo, same to  a woman with male one dude. Be energetic and futuristic not at that  point only kinda dude

Buy ticket as in the link below or  introduced in every nation where their aint touts, but tickets bought on  ya phone with receipt information of the car u want as u see it  approaching as they can have wifi to know which at where with seat  occupancy to place your bookings or go the city way where not as the  mobile payed one, where belongs 4 that buses all but 4 the general 1  away from phone all matatus numbers can be in that gadget as below with  WiFi showing location and occupancy to book but this at the end of the  day the owner of the van is given her share minus tax to build the city  as they can confirm via receipts dropped at the entrance door by the  passenger to the driver

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=london+bus+ticketing+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi1-KOfiJPtAhUwVBUIHa9rDxgQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

In  the office nowadays it is solved like in the bank, we got reserved  seats 4 those who care of the next person who sat on and same with all  life concepts as with daily credit pay. U get to that office provided  not smelling people recognize and forgo that sit and sit on general seat  every1 seats on dude as u care not or love humanity or have been via a  lot dude as in the link below

https://www.airarabia.com/en/reserve-your-preferred-seat

https://www.google.com/search?q=whichita+transit+bus+ticket+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiUzeOwipPtAhULShoKHTz0BUoQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=whichita+transit+bus+ticket+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1CDd1j_4wFg_-UBaABwAHgAgAHwAogB4jGSAQkwLjEzLjEzLjOYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=Rr24X5SSDouUabzol9AE&bih=882&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

https://www.mobiletransaction.org/us/best-credit-card-reader-for-android/

https://www.123rf.com/photo_142084430_stock-vector-receipt-for-smartphone-screen-pay-tax-online-receipt-business-card-for-mobile-app-design-mobile-bank.html

https://www.equisys.com/blog/reconciling-credit-card-statements

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=smartphone+public+receipt+printing+machine+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwji9_WpnpPtAhWHRhUIHe-WCUMQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

The  drone control monitor esp 4 the military tiny bomb drones can harbor  the battery free technology as goes the touch temperature way, where the  next enemy can identify ya if one as their radar can read waves used to  direct the drone on air and even locate the tiny drone and overwhelm  you, so u can hide your tiny drones on crevices and on top of buildings,  when u stop holding the monitor control tool so they know not where u r  and vice vice as they can as well have detective mechanism to detect  LCD screen and more used within that interface even from drone mounted  with the same fly up high, having the detector looking down to even  detect ya clothes, blood components and even guns as much as shoes and  bombs/bullets, so be ware as u got the same need to have radar sensor to  sense the radar as well as they sense yours and their sent drone and if  it goes that way ad-infinitum then 1 who listens not needs to be  annihilated like the Kikuyus cause if not they will continue that way  ad-infinitum not listening. Some times the drone control monitor has a  remote as it, itself can fly, when detected to fly it away using the  remote by u power off ya remote dude, so not be caught dude

https://www.defenseworld.net/news/25645/Russia_Develops_Radar_to_Detect_Miniature_Drones

https://securityaffairs.co/wordpress/43274/security/black-hornet-military-nano-drone.html

https://web.facebook.com/wichitatransit/?rf=161420490554142&_rdc=1&_rdr

With  like the foreign drone detective radars fold the photo into 2 halves  and place under like heap of kale in upper tank or on open ground with  grass when car tires all round the heap and find anything to chop to  make ya radar too, respecting all veggies, fruits, leaves or berries  theorem of being placed in sand or in boxes either rotten, raw, cooked  or ripe and acid being added to water and all placed in such acid and  even fruit seeds and of veggies and even all scrap metal when u have  such next dude and boom ya radar and most also made on big tanks like  tip of the bottom parts inside soil or on water body shallow shore water  or just in pool with low water level maintaining the above protocols  dude. The above ticketing reduces hooliganism associated with such  people operating the same and with police as witnessed in many African  nations dude

They think they will be granted longevity is they  mistreat people or if have much kids, the truth is, if resources are  slim as per your number, God cant grant u longevity as their will be  more people lest your are few in number

Winter drones or cold days  drones need not to have the hanging propellers on top as always in the  case with many drones, in fact the propeller can be 1 big 1 hidden like  with a computer fan to add effectiveness and beauty dude as in the link  below

https://www.shutterstock.com/search/cpu+fan

https://www.asme.org/topics-resources/content/handheld-dronut-brings-drones-indoors

https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/nano-tornado

https://www.coolthings.com/sprite-drone/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/598767712937316126/

https://www.commercialdroneprofessional.com/drone-delivery-canada-confirms-healthcare-focused-agreement-dsv-canada/

Duluth  has line of weakness and many in any world big water bodies as even on  shore like seas and oceans, deploy military radar watch on such lands as  many now have know to make nuclear bombs and can detonate those lands  to capsize 4 water to fill the empty voids as valleys as it keeps on  moving to kill people all around such low lands and destroy much  properties as can be the agenda of many people refusing to get it their  lands are poor as compared to a certain point as it got large water down  pour in-case the same is done to kill all in such low lands to reduce  the population or champion the agendas as said b4 dude

Your  smartphone can contain your pulse rate and temperature detector and even  of alcohol so that if u have it its know behind ya consent or u knowing  to trace ya GPS as where u r dude when the combination gotten as few  people have likewise the same dude

Using the step on or sit on  panels to generate electric power b4 stepping up the power can use the  vacuum flask technology where u place heated water inside or that flask  has an automated stopper to let out gas as water boils using a coil  placed at the back inside of the flask where such as well is an  automated response where if temperature reduces to a certain degree it  switches on automatically to some set minutes to heat back the water  again to a desired temperature b4 the stopper open up or not to release  the air bro as in the links below, USES the very very stima that has  being magnified to heat the flask dude, a phenomenon worth noting dude  like along time steam engine operated dude

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=big+vacuum+flask+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjEyun3lJPtAhURUxUIHeIQBeYQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

https://www.google.com/search?q=amazon+pressure+cookers+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwicveT5lJPtAhVM0RoKHf91CK0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=amazon+pressure+cookers+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoGCAAQBxAeOgIIADoECAAQQ1DV7wtYrasMYKqyDGgBcAB4AIAB6QeIAfllkgEPMC4xLjIuMi40LjcuNi4xmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWfAAQE&sclient=img&ei=W8i4X9yjKsyia__roegK&bih=882&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

https://www.amazon.com/Miniature-Voltage-Transformer-Inverter-Generator/dp/B078SWVGXT

https://www.amazon.in/eHUB-0-9V-5V-Converter-Module-Output/dp/B07FXR6T4M/ref=pd_sbs_147_9?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B07FXR6T4M&pd_rd_r=919ebf4b-6fa3-4d77-b984-2ffe2c0d321e&pd_rd_w=08Td9&pd_rd_wg=dPJOZ&pf_rd_p=758bfbc8-a8f2-4456-bf65-ae5d502eac06&pf_rd_r=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1&psc=1&refRID=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1

https://www.amazon.in/Robotbanao-3-0-40V-1-5-35V-Converter-Multicolour/dp/B07KS4562W/ref=pd_sbs_147_16?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B07KS4562W&pd_rd_r=919ebf4b-6fa3-4d77-b984-2ffe2c0d321e&pd_rd_w=08Td9&pd_rd_wg=dPJOZ&pf_rd_p=758bfbc8-a8f2-4456-bf65-ae5d502eac06&pf_rd_r=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1&psc=1&refRID=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1

The  radar as above detect a bulb inside gas or the heated gas cylinder gas  contents as either any such heated when cold air blow lifts the cylinder  upwards dude and that's it, so think twice as another day in paradise  with you, Kill me kill you philosophy 4 the hooligans if u fathom not  the reality and refuse to relent not or subdue to one above ya or ya  equal. The Ninja Mind NM dude

Diamond ice made much when few  sample brought close to kale in tank placed half way in the ground then u  chop wood soaked in cooked cabbage water or more as detailed above or  just the folded photo inside glass container or in the banner  illuminating all sides as with coin or angle to try with any chop dude  and with many cooper wires made when placed closed to kale in same tank  as above and that one even in water or in side hole made big basement  within the factory house basement as in its walls dude as explained  earlier bro. Still fail to see what am doing, thinking its Zero work so  still disturb me and wants my food as always and with ya silly  investigation. U have not stopped dude with all i have said that we are  not equal as my mind super cedes yours as if it were so u could have  written the same well a head of me in ya own created a/c b4 announcing  it us not saying your r the 1 telling me, yet this i had said b4 and now  it years past bro. Stop and live ya own life bro, stop cashing into  other men affairs dude. Mr Hindu be warned dude and Kisii arresting me  kinda, next time, with my hate 4 ya, not a slap but a bullet will be on  ya face and Mr white man on his chest as i escort him to the police  post, legs on a lever as i hurl him not calling the corpse to take him  or if they relent not to the morgue to confirm the truth they had know a  lot past but not yet dude as in the link below, in Kenya people  transporting timber on roads to reduce friction and the timber being  scratched dude, to affirm my hate 4 ya, you luo blooded of knowing much  esp women, without such as above, your land can be overtaken, not  wanting to be ahead of men thinking another technology cant crop same as  those who knows not how to play PS4 and those who knows how to play the  same. Same with Wifi drone, they overwhelm ya not women thing as in the  bible even if u r rich, Security fast as they monitor people good in  such PS5 or 4 games to annihilated them not us knowing cause can guard  the nation and those good in computers even if u love food and women  better you than that who eats less and know shit regarding playing such  games and with high vision or sight degree to monitor and view the same  laid on screen signals as in the in below

https://www.dean.ngo/dean/news/working-education-kenya/

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 8: The Big Easy

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

The Amulet's trail ends in the supernaturally rich city of New Orleans. Still reeling from hers and Kamilah's first real fight, Nadya, Lily, and Adrian travel to the French Quarter to see old friends and meet some new faces.

[READ IT ON AO3]

She meant to fake-awaken from the nap of all naps when Lily returned from her minibar excursion. Unfortunately though Nadya’s just a little too lost in her thoughts; which delays her reaction by enough of a fraction of a second for to be fooling absolutely nobody.

“You shouldn’t do that.”

Nadya combs her fingers through her hair. She may not have actually been asleep but tell that to the nest that somehow spontaneously manifested where she was resting against the wall of the plane.

She plasters on her best ‘ditzy secretary’ face. “Do what?” she asks; pitches her voice just a tad but that’s overselling it.

All credibility pretty much flies out of the window and down the however-many-thousand-feet to the ground below. And without a parachute, poor thing.

“Well first of all don’t gimme that look. I helped you invent it, remember?” Only Lily could chide her enough to actually make Nadya feel bad while simultaneously inhaling a complimentary bag of Korean BBQ chips. “Dos, you shouldn’t bottle it all up inside. And don’t you dare say you don’t know what I’m talking about. I will shove potato chips down your bra.”

Nadya blows a strand of hair up, but it falls back down right in front of her eye. Great, even her hair is out to get her.

“Please don’t. I only packed one.” And Adrian and her will never be close enough friends for her to feel comfortable asking him to swing by Target for a quick bra buy.

“Same girl, same.” But even as Lily kicks up her boots and makes herself comfortable the intent is clear. She’s going to get Nadya to open up somehow, some way, and most likely some time before they start to descend on New Orleans.

After all she’s practically locked in between her seat and the fancy table by vampire thighs of steel.

Crunch. Crunch. Crun—

“I’ll talk about it when I’m ready, Lil’, okay?”

Cruuunnn—

“I promise! Pinky promise, blood oath, anything!” Just please don’t keep chewing like that. She’s very near begging on her knees.

After quickly wiping the flavor powder off, Lily holds up her pinky finger expectantly. Nadya takes it with her own. She means it too, villainous torture methods aside. Some people went their whole lives and then some without someone to care about them as much as Lily cares for Nadya — she knows this and really, her gratitude is unwavering.

But she’s still a little too raw on the inside (and out; her tear ducts may have gone into permanent early retirement by now) to just bring it all up. And so casually, too.

The cabin lights catch on the chains of her charm bracelet. Little sparkles that draw Nadya in; pull her down deep in velvet the same black as the midnight sky, away from the stale plane air and back to New York.

Back to Kamilah.

And Lily — well, she’s Lily. Of course she notices. Just like she quickly acts and lowers their still-linked hands before Nadya suffers the unpleasantness of choking on her heart again.

“I’d say lets head back there —” she jerks her head from the direction she came from, “— and get you a little tipsy for your troubles, but for some reason showing up to a place like New Orleans already drunk feels like blasphemy.”

“And I wouldn’t feel comfortable with the plan if you weren’t completely sober, Nadya.”

The girls look over across the aisle to where Adrian leans back and away from his laptop, a slightly admonishing look in his eye. Nadya blindly seeks out the open bag of chips while offering what she hopes is a smile that says “Yes, of course, I totally agree,” even though a margarita at the very least sounds comforting.

“Actually, since it’s out there, how are you feeling?”

Lily tenses beside her. It takes him a moment to realize what he’s done but Adrian tries to take it back so fast Nadya’s somehow the one who ends up with emotional whiplash. “I mean — about this; the…” he sighs, “I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

Nadya elbows Lily before she can get a word in. “It’s fine,” she tells Adrian with a smile — and if it’s a little strained well… they can’t blame her.

People fight in relationships sometimes. It’s not ideal, but it happens. Does Nadya wish she could throw open the emergency hatch on Adrian’s private jet (freaking out which happened loudly, quickly, and before they had ever lifted for takeoff) and fly her way back to Kamilah to try and work things out by sheer force of will? You betcha.

Is she going to let that stop her from doing what needs to be done to get this Amulet? No. God willing; she and Kamilah will have plenty of time to cool down, talk, and see where they were supposed to go from the place they had left at. But that’s only the case so long as Nadya, Lily, and Adrian get to the Amulet of Nero before Gaius does.

Though… none of them can still fathom the literally microscopic chances that had decided to work in their favor. No really, Lily ran the numbers. By all accounts they should have been prepared for a voyage around the world, sometimes in multiple places (and according to the simulation, at multiple times).

What were the odds that not only was this mythical once-lost-to-history Nadya-was-literally-kidnapped-to-find-it-but-it-only-took-their-collective-squad-like-two-weeks-and-a-couple-all-nighters Amulet of Nero in the States, but that it was currently in the hands of—well—a friend?

Apparently the odds were pretty freakin’ good.

“I’ve failed the universe.”

“Lily, stop.”

“It’s been three days! And all I could come up with was a list of the players from Kavinsky’s private rich-jackass tournament. A list, Nadi’.”

“It’s far more than we had previously Lily,” Adrian had said with a reassuring squeeze to her shoulder, “and for that matter — its more than Gaius could get on his own. So if anything you’ve outdone him; and trust me when I say that doesn’t happen every millennium.”

While it wasn’t the best pep talk in the world it had been enough to get Lily back on track. Her finger scrolling on her mouse faster than humanly possible until she got to the names they needed. Eight billion people in the world and they had narrowed it down to ten. Way to go, Lil’.

Adrian started to write down the names in his hasty scrawl — which had just been a waste of time since Nadya refuses to try and read his terrible colonial handwriting and already has a list of her own transcribed. “It’s still more than would be ideal. But I think the four of us should be… able… hm.”

Hm because of the obvious. Because there were only three people in his office. Because Kamilah is following a lead on the whereabouts of Gaius and while one is arguably more important than the other… it’s good to know his movements. Nadya can’t argue with her logic in that.

She knows their enemy better than anyone. And it means she doesn’t have to be in the same room as Nadya.

“Wait — this name, here.” Adrian had pointed at the screen; Lily had slapped his hand away. “I know this one. That can’t be the same man, though, the odds…”

“Who-what now?” Nadya hadn’t recognized the name at all.

LaPointe, C.

“Someone from your past?”

The very recent past; like very recent. Like, Nadya-adjacent recent. And with time maybe-probably quickly running out they couldn’t afford to wait to fill everyone in on all the juicy details. Or, apparently, wait for Kamilah to return from her trip.

Sometimes Nadya catches herself looking around for the familiar comfort of maroon.

Overhead there’s a soft bing from the pilot’s speakers.

“We’re coming up on Louis Armstrong, Mr. Raines and guests. If you could remain seated until we land, your arrangements have been taken care of as requested.”

Nadya’s heart pounds a little bit faster. When Lily reaches out to squeeze her hand she doesn’t reject it one bit.

After all, she’s doing the first leg of this on her own.

“You can do this. You can totally do this.”

Behind her a family of four jostles her chair so hard Nadya almost spills iced coffee slushy all over herself.

“You’ve survived Ferals, and Vega, and Gaius. You kicked butt at ‘Tech-Xpo.’ You’ve eaten French cheese and danced in a corset and you didn’t even ruin a Lacroix. You’re a force of nature, and you can totally do this.”

And remember, he’s just a vampire. If he tries anything just run outside.

“Would Miss ‘Force of Nature’ like a box to go?”

She’s been in the cool shade of the cafe awning for far too long to even pretend like the red in her cheeks is the heat; but that doesn’t mean Nadya doesn’t look up to the sight of her bemused waitress with a styrofoam box and the bill in her hand.

Nadya must look as embarrassed as she feels because she doesn’t even get to answer before the woman gets in a small laugh. “Whatever yer psychin’ ya’self up for, honey, keep at it. More people could stand to give themselves a pep talk.”

“Th-Thanks.”

‘Bonnie’ (as per her name tag) grins with all the boisterousness she’s had since Nadya first took up her table. When she winks it’s full of energy; enough to jingle her large earrings. Nadya kind of wants to adopt her as a weird aunt? But that might just be the all-nighter talking.

Without hesitation Nadya pulls her purse close and takes out one of the (ridiculously unnecessary) large bills Adrian had given her before she got into her cab. Bonnie’s eyes widen, protest at the ready, but Nadya won’t hear it. “I won’t need the box, but thank you.” She all but has to force the hundred under the woman’s thumb.

If she has another one of the mini mountains of powdered sugar on top of her beignets she’s actually gonna burst. The coffee is totally coming with her, though.

Nadya weaves her way first out of the cafe’s closed-off seating, but it somehow only gets worse from there? New York is full of people; she knows this. But she’s gotten used to working nights, to the emptiness of Raines Corp. after dark — so having to literally fight her way through the sea of tourists is a jarring experience to say the least.

You can do this. You can do this.

Yeah, because her last motivational mantra worked out so well?

This isn’t a vacation (and if it were she’d be too stressed to enjoy it anyway) so she soaks up as much as she can. The ride from the airport to the French Quarter, every street sign and avenue and cool-looking building covered in ivy. A few of the early-riser tour groups she’s passed by have mentioned ‘the history of the city’ and Nadya is kind enough to let herself imagine — after all this is done — coming back here with Kamilah and learning it from someone who was probably there.

It’s the most optimistic feeling she’s had in… too long, actually.

She puts it to good use in her ‘I’m Totally Not Nervous’ act all the way from Jackson Square to the small museum off the side of the St. Louis Cathedral. Smiling to the entrance attendants is a little bit easier. So is plucking up the courage to ask a security guard where she might find the offices to visit a friend.

That no one would think a short girl with glasses almost as wide as her face is up to no good doesn’t hurt, too.

If Nadya’s got her orientation right this is definitely the right office. The window — if there even was one — inside would be facing the stonework of the next door church. Perfect for avoiding direct sunlight.

She takes care in not stepping on top of a small, neatly-wrapped bouquet of orchids in front of the office door when she knocks. Picks it up for good measure because they really are a lovely shade of purple and maybe they remind her of better times.

Of rare blue lotuses and… happiness.

Nadya waits… and waits… and waits… and knocks again? She doesn’t know what else to do. Admittedly they all might have been a little too focused on making sure Adrian and Lily had a place to rest during daylight hours.

For the record Nadya still isn’t comfortable with abandoning her friends to sleep in the cargo hold of a plane — private or not.

This was a dumb idea. Of course he’s not going to be in his office in the middle of the morning. He is a vampire.

But just before Nadya can put down the flowers and pull out her phone, there’s a thud on the other side of the door.

“Kathy, is that you?”

Uh… “No? I’m…”

“Yes yes, payroll said they’d be sending someone up,” another noise follows — this one more like the distinct collision between feet and office desks of which she is all too familiar, “just a moment!”

Nadya realizes she doesn’t have anything prepared to say when the door opens.

When he had arrived late to the Council Chamber for Adrian’s trial, Cadence Smith had looked the very picture of flustered and in a panic. Nadya was pretty familiar with that, too. But apparently that was only a fraction of his anxieties because…

Well to put it in one simple word — yikes.

Cadence pushes his glasses back up his nose to scrutinize her properly. His tie hangs in a messy and loosened knot around a collar half-unbuttoned and his sweater is untucked and bunched at the waist. If she looks down it’ll be too obvious, but it doesn’t even look like he’s wearing shoes.

He pushes the blond mess from out of his eye-line with his entire palm and leaves a smeared trail of black behind — which makes sense given the large and aged newspaper folded in his grasp.

“You’re not from payroll.”

But Nadya smiles up at him, dishevelment aside. “No, I’m —”

Then he notices the bouquet in her hands. Immediately—almost frighteningly—his entire being goes cold; harsh.

“I thought I told you people to stop delivering those.”

“Huh? Oh, no—no I —”

“I don’t care if he’s bought the lot in advance. I. do not. want them. Christ — there’s no way a flower shop is this dedicated to customer satisfaction!”

“Wait, Mister Smith, if you lemme —”

“Burn them. Next time I’ll have security escort you out. Good day!”

The door slams closed in her face before Nadya can get another word in. She’s left there, dumbfounded, mildly offended, and the good mood from her sugar high now soured.

“Mis— Cadence, please!” She knocks again, and again, and quickly screws politeness in favor of pounding on the thick wooden door. “I know you can hear me! I’m not from a freakin’ flower shop!”

But it’s an office; not like he has anywhere to run. He’s just straight-up ignoring her.

She so does not have time for this.

“Adrian sent me!” Nadya shouts at the top of her lungs. If Cadence doesn’t hear her someone must — maybe she can get through to them instead.

But as it turns out she won’t need to.

Even through the blood pounding in her ears she can hear the door unlock. When he faces her this time, Nadya’s ready.

“Adrian Raines sent me. These —” she shoves the flowers through the door into his chest; then points at her feet, “— were already here. I don’t know what’s got you so rude but I didn’t fly all this way from New York to be —”

“You’re the secretary; the one from the trial who convinced them to let me testify.”

Nadya huffs. “Well—yeah, and I’m also the one who’s really tired of being interrupted.”

The more he recognizes her, the more Cadence softens until some semblance of the man she remembers is all that’s left. He has the decency to look embarrassed at his outburst.

In Nadya’s opinion he shouldn’t talk like that to anyone; let alone some poor person stuck delivering flowers. Makes sense why they were just abandoned in front of the door.

“Oh, and I have a name. It’s —”

“Nadya; I remember now.”

Her nostrils flare and Nadya actually feels the telling-off as it starts to rise from her belly to her lungs. But Cadence realizes his mistake as soon as he makes it; he ducks his head quickly. “I’m — forgive me. That was… I just remember who you are, is all.”

Only after she eyes him up to determine his sincerity does Nadya finally nod; once, and curtly. “Fine.”

The vampire turns the orchids over in his hands; plucks a petal crumpled in their not-quite tussle from the stem and lets it fall like a path to his doorstep.

“A… situation, shall we call it, with a lapse in my judgment has led to, well, these.” He smiles; strained and not quite seen in the eyes. “A fellow who can’t take a hint.”

“I get it. My heart goes out to you.”

“Thank you.”

“But we need to talk; like, now. It’s important.” Nadya nods at what little she can see of his office behind his towering figure. “May I come in?”

He hesitates a beat. “I’m a bit… deep in a research project at the moment. Will this take long?” Then, as an afterthought; “You said Adrian sent you — is he here, as well?”

“Yes, he’s waiting out the sun. But we’re already behind as it is and I don’t want to waste a whole day. It took us long enough to get this far… we don’t have the time.”

“You’re being a bit vague, Nadya, even for me. What are you ‘behind’ on, exactly?”

Yeah — she’s being vague and she knows it. Feels like somehow the fact that they’ve not really had to talk about the massive panic their situation is worthy of because they all know the stakes has been a blessing. Nadya knows she has to explain things to get Cadence’s help.

It’s just that saying it — actually telling other people — makes everything that’s happening very very real. And being real makes it dangerous.

It has already been dangerous, says a voice in Nadya’s head that sounds enough like Kamilah to make her lower lip wobble a bit.

“Nadya?”

Not-Kamilah in her head is right. Nadya sucks it up and looks Cadence dead in the eye.

“I need the Amulet of Nero and I know you were the last person to have it — when you beat a man named Kavinsky at poker in Vegas two years ago.”

Cadence defies the laws of nature and somehow manages to look paler than he already was. Which means she’s in the right place.

“How do you… actually, it doesn’t matter. The Amulet is useless to humans.”

“Maybe. But I’m guessing it’s not useless to a psychopathic power-mad vampire king who’s spent almost three thousand years trying to take over the world.”

An eerie calm comes over them as he takes in the weight of what she says.

Cadence steps aside wordlessly. When she crosses the threshold he stops and checks either end of the hall in a way that totally screams suspicious.

When he’s satisfied they aren’t being watched, he closes the door behind them.

He asks her to start ‘from the beginning.’ But does she really know where that is? Does it begin when Gaius finally revealed himself after a year of working in hiding in secret, or does it begin from a time only a few know and fewer remember?

“I’ve found the beginning is often the place you think of first,” Cadence answers her; he sets down a tray and tells her to be careful to not burn her hand on the offered mug of tea, “that, or the place where you enter the story as a character in your own right.”

It’s all very oddly domestic in here; Nadya wouldn’t be surprised to find out he doesn’t bother with an apartment and just lives here instead. Even if the mess is giving her the headache to beat all headaches.

The ceramic warms her from the tips of her fingers outward. It’s hot as heck outside but if there’s one thing she’s learned from Gerard its that the soothing powers of tea are beyond things as silly as the weather.

“It’s funny you say something like that.”

“Why would that be?”

“I don’t really know where I come in. Not… not me, as I am, anyway.” She probably—no, definitely—sounds like she’s a few marbles short of the bag. But it’s nice to be able to admit something so personal to a stranger. Someone who won’t judge her — or if he does it’s not that big of a deal.

“I’m not sure I know who I am lately. It’s… hard to explain.”

Cadence brushes the barest touch of his fingertips over her knee. He looks hesitant, like he’s not quite sure he has her permission, but she doesn’t say no to it. It’s like the man who was so cruel to her in the doorway was a skin shed in the safety of his home.

“You don’t have to explain a thing. I know the struggle better than anyone should have a right to.”

Nadya remembers then; Cadence’s testimony on Adrian’s behalf — exactly why Adrian had been in New Orleans in the first place. They had been so close to the Amulet and didn’t even know it.

She’s a little embarrassed by it, to be honest. “Right, I… I’m sorry,” shaking her head, “that was insensitive of me.” At least she knows her own name.

But the vampire shrugs it off and sips his tea. “The struggle of identity is innate in every species throughout time. If I’ve learned one thing; it’s that.”

It makes Nadya laugh softly. “You must have gotten along with Adrian when he visited.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You’re both kind to the world.” Kind to others; strangers. But not to yourselves.

Cadence opens his mouth as if to respond; but whatever he plans to say he thinks better of it and changes their course.

“Let’s get back to the Amulet and this… vampire king.”

Which is probably for the best.

She tries to start where things make the most sense — recently, with the Amulet and Gaius’ plan. But that leads to explaining how he was locked up in the first place, which leads to the founding of the New York Council and the Clans, and somehow jumps to the events of the Awakening Ball, and Nadya doesn’t blame him in the slightest when Cadence holds up a finger and grabs a notepad from his nearby desk to start jotting everything down.

It’s a full transparency kind of deal because if Adrian trusts him then Nadya does, too. But some things sound crazy no matter how casually she spins them. So Nadya keeps certain things to herself; the whole Bloodkeeper disaster, her fight with Kamilah, the fact that when she looks at him she can see a woolen uniform dusty with dirt and with embers still clinging to the thick material and a little cut on his forehead that definitely healed a hundred years ago or more.

And to the man’s credit he takes everything in stride. Nods and scribbles down her tale faster than Nadya could ever hope to do herself. He even asks questions here and there; things you’d expect more in a classroom than, well, here.

Though Nadya really doesn’t grasp the enormity of it all until she blinks and realizes her eyes have grown accustomed to a lack of light. She can’t even see the small alley street below his window anymore. Jeez, it’s sunset already?

“And that’s why we need the Amulet of Nero; if Gaius gets to it first and there really is a vial of blood from the First Vampire inside…”

Cadence nods. “It’s an ‘end of the world’ sort of deal. Well… for humans, anyway.”

Did he really need to put it like that? Way to remind Nadya that all her friends are vampires and would probably make it out of everything at least mildly intact.

“So where is it?”

“Where is what?”

Really? “The Amulet of Nero.”

“Oh, well… about that.” No, Nadya thinks in a panic — because nothing good ever started with ‘about that.’

“You have it —” —hello instant nauseating panic, my old friend— “— Cadence please tell me you have it.”

“Had; past tense.”

There’s not quite a word to describe the noise that grumbles out from deep in her soul but it’s certainly not a whoop of joy.

More like an eeeughh of… urrrrghh.

Which is why she’s a little relieved her phone screen lights up blinding and interrupts them before she can start pulling her own hair out.

While Nadya grabs it to read the latest message, Cadence stands and pops his neck in two places. “I have a few calls to make myself, actually. Another tea?”

“No thank you.”

He leaves her with the office door open just a crack.

In truth Nadya wants nothing more than to stretch out on the couch and take a power nap.

No rest for the wicked.

She thumbs her screen unlocked to read a text from Adrian.

[TEXT]: It’s sunset and we haven’t heard from you in a while. Is everything okay? -A

Well — she managed to train him out of the ‘sincerely’ at least.

[TEXT]: I’m surprised I dont have like 5000 txts [TEXT]: shes still asleep isnt she

[TEXT]: No. Her phone died. You didn’t answer my question. -A

[TEXT]: I’m fine [TEXT]: here w/ cadence

[TEXT]: Great news. He’ll give us the Amulet? -A

She doesn’t want to lie to him. But there’s really no good way to soften the blow.

[TEXT]: :|

[TEXT]: What does that mean? -A [TEXT]: I showed it to Lily. She isn’t happy. We’re grabbing a car now. I’ll convince him to give it to us if I have to. Did you explain what’s at stake? -A

Nadya scoffs — kind of very rightfully offended. “No,” she says aloud, but she’s alone so her phone suffers her snark in silence, “I told him I wanted it for my Halloween costume. Yes I explained what’s at stake, Adrian Raines. Ugh.”

So of course that’s the perfect moment for Cadence to return with confusion knit in his brow.

“Is everything okay?”

“Not really.” Nadya peels off her glasses and rubs her eyes. “Just — Adrian’s on his way. Tell me where the Amulet is and we’ll get out of your hair.”

She can’t tell if the pensive look on the vampire’s face is him trying to decide whether or not to help or something else entirely. All she can do is pray, really. Or hope Adrian can convince him. And if neither of those work maybe Lily can threaten him or something.

They should have brought Jax along. Katana and all.

“Actually, send him somewhere else, would you?” Cadence rips off a corner piece of paper and scribbles an address down before handing it over. “That’s where I planned on heading anyway. And this way I won’t have to go into the explanation twice.”

He’s been nice so far; friendly and helpful. And Adrian trusts him — if she hasn’t brought that up enough times.

So why does unease start to tangle and knot itself in her gut?

“Or maybe we could all go there together.”

“Why not save the trip?” He brushes hair out of his eyes with a genuine surprise. “You said time was of the essence.”

“It is.”

“Then I don’t understand.”

“I just think it would be better to wait.”

“But —”

Thunk. Thu-Thunk.

A knocking at the door cuts both Nadya and Cadence off at the same time — but Nadya’s pretty sure people knocked nearer the top of doors.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk!

With a long-suffering sigh, the vampire wheels himself around in his chair and makes for the door. “What have I told you about kicking my door? The museum said they won’t be paying for the third replacement.”

THU—

“Christ, Kathy!”

Cadence yanks the door open with more than a little force. The hinges creak and there’s the slight cracking sound of splintering wood — even with his back turned Nadya can see the disgruntled slump of his shoulders. “Great, now look what you’ve made me do.”

“Stop being so easy to mess with,” says Katherine as she enters; beaming immediately at Nadya around the towering blockade of a man. “He’s so fun to mess with, isn’t he?”

All the tension in her extinguishes like a blown-out candle. Leaves Nadya smiling because she didn’t even know how reassuring the sight of a familiar face would be until, well, she’s right there.

Katherine shoulders her way around Cadence and holds out her arms. “Bring it in!” And Nadya most definitely brings it in. Even if her hurry to hug the Nighthunter sends a small stack of papers scattering to their feet.

“Oops…”

Cadence groans. “It’s fine, it’s fine…” And he shoos Nadya away to pick it up himself.

Very little about Katherine seems to have changed over the last year. Though technically Nadya could say the same for herself. The hunter now sports a fancy scar along the edge of her jaw and she must have just recently given her hair a fresh shade of violet but she’s still Kathy and it’s an honest relief.

Wait a second. Nadya pulls back to hold her at arms’ length.

“I tried calling you before we took off from New York. Why didn’t you answer?” Truthfully, they thought she must have been out of town.

Katherine scoffs, mock-offended. “I have a life too, you know. I’m not always looking at my phone.”

“Indeed,” grumbles Cadence at their feet, “but last night you weren’t ‘having a life’ so much as trying to break your own arm.”

What’s worse is that Kathy doesn’t try to deny it. She just laughs at Nadya’s suddenly pale expression. “Don’t worry kiddo,” she teases, “I was just taste-testing for a bartender friend. Had a little bit too much, you know how it goes. I thought I could arm wrestle a stone troll.”

Blink. Blink-blink. “I’m sorry a who-what?”

“A stone… well you’ll see. C’mon Cade, pick it up later. We’ve gotta get going,” with a fist curled in his sweater she hauls the man up against his wishes, “don’t even worry about it. Not like the place isn’t still a historic hoarder’s nest.”

Nadya definitely agrees — but she’s too polite to do so out loud.

Hold on, though. “You know where we’re going?”

Cadence’s left eyebrow arches slowly. “You’re suddenly on board now?”

“Well —”

Katherine interrupts her with a finger and a quick smack to the vampire’s upper arm. He doesn’t even flinch. “Context, Cade, remember? Taller, stronger man tries to take you somewhere only he knows of in an unfamiliar city. What do you do, Nadya?”

“You kick him in the groin.”

“Exactly.”

He looks between the women in brief silence; but they aren’t exactly wrong. “Fair point. I’m sorry for making you feel unsafe, Nadya.”

“It’s okay.”

Katherine claps her hands together quickly. “Come on. I don’t really think you want to leave Raines undefended against Garrus for long.”

“Who is —” you know what, probably better that Nadya waits to learn, “— Lily’s with him, it’s okay.”

“Your friend the newbie vamp, Lily?” asks Katherine. When Nadya nods, though, she’s the exact opposite of reassured. The hunter barely gives her time to grab her purse before she’s tugging Nadya out of the office by her sleeve.

“Oh god — we have to go.”

“What’s the matter? Are they in danger?”

“No,” Cadence laughs behind them; the fact that he’s far more at ease than Katherine though doesn’t make Nadya feel any better, “they’re fine. But Garrus has been perfecting a shooter to give my kind an actual buzz.”

Drunk Lily. Nadya remembers her well… well enough to shiver bodily. Because drunk Lily was one thing.

Drunk vampire Lily, though?

“Maybe we could hurry up a bit.”

If I’d known there were going to be drinks involved I might’ve not been so against it, Nadya thinks, and immediately foresees a great concern regarding the eventual state of her liver by the time she’s (hopefully) settled into a more peaceful life post-Gaius’ World Takeover 2020.

By the time the three of them make it to the Graveyard Shift (which was, in her humble opinion, the height of tacky non-humor — and according to Kathy if she wanted to keep her tongue in her mouth she had better keep that thought to herself) Adrian and Lily are already there.

Lily hugs her first, then goes for Katherine with equal gusto. Cadence and Adrian, however, exchange nothing but a crisp businesslike handshake.

“I was glad to hear your name had been cleared,” the blond vampire says with a hint of shame. Then — watch out world — Adrian crosses the professional boundary and clasps a hand on his shoulder.

“Kamilah told me about how Vega tried to keep you from testifying. I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am that you risked daylight travel for someone you barely knew.”

“You helped me all you could. It was the least I could do.”

At the bartop in the very back a young woman dressed head-to-toe in black leather and lace whips out a (black) fan and flutters it rapidly. She eyes the pair bright and mirthful. “Good ghoulish gods, the sexual tension there is enough to feed a dozen succubi!”

They pull away from each other after a long and uncomfortable pause.

Then Lily’s tugging Nadya forward with maniacal delight. “Ohmygod, Nadi’, come meet Ivy. She’s literally the coolest person on the planet.”

Behind them Adrian splutters; “Wait, Lily —”

And she should really be worried when Katherine joins in; “Ease her into it — ah shit.”

Because ease her into what, exactly?

Lily stops them in front of Ivy’s stool. “Technically not a person, remember?” chides the stranger; and then things start to make a bit more sense.

What Nadya had thought were tattoos or maybe was a decorative grey bodysuit underneath Ivy’s clothes just… isn’t. It’s skin. It’s greying, veiny skin and the muscles beneath that Nadya can see with a little too much ease for her personal comfort. Yes, Ivy is wearing black lipstick, but there’s not a whole lot of lip for the stick. And while the way her eyes seem to actually burn with a strange and pinkish flame is very cool and very up Lily’s alley, Nadya can’t really look at them for long without feeling like the long shadows cast in every corner of the bar are watching her.

“Dude,” stage-whispers Lily while tugging at her sleeve, “Ivy’s a revenant. Victorian zombie goth chick, Nadya!”

Ivy holds up a veiny finger. “Actually that’s a bespelled revenant, sweetie.” And the only solace Nadya seems to be able to take right now is that when the woman smiles she still has a full set of teeth — though some look a little… pointy.

“We’re a little different because we still have our souls… they just don’t belong to us and aren’t in our bodies and will forever burn in some eldritch pit or another.”

Words that awful should never be said so cheerfully.

“But enough about me,” like she isn’t practically preening under Lily’s adoration regardless, “ever meet a fae? This is Garrus; he owns the Shift.”

The revenant jerks her hot pink head behind the bar where the bartender has been devoted to messing with something out of sight — until now.

No, Nadya would have answered if she wasn’t having way too much new information thrown at her like a bag of big supernatural bricks, I haven’t met a fae. She hasn’t, she’s sure.

Since she’s just as sure she would have remembered meeting anyone equally pale — somehow glittering, with the same unnatural symmetry in the face that was both pleasing to the eye and unnerving in impossibility. With eyes as clear as the sky and actual pointy ears that definitely weren’t bought from Lily’s preferred cosplay crafters.

Yup; no way she could forget that.

This is Nadya we’re talking about, however, so she swallows down all of her (many — many) feelings about the current situation and turns on her heel to where Adrian has come to stand just shy of behind.

“I’m gonna need a glass of wine.”

Adrian shakes his head with a small laugh. Back the other way Garrus calls out a cheerful — and slightly Irish(?) so that’s a thing — “Coming right up, darling.”

“Just… one glass though, Garrus.” Adrian feels the need to emphasize, even if its with a glint in his eye. “Trust me. She’ll try to go for the bottle.”

“I handle this crap the way I handle it, Raines.”

“Then don’t complain about the hangover this time.”

A beat. “Yeah fine, one glass only.”

For a bar in New Orleans at night the place is a little barren, but nobody else seems to mind so Nadya doesn’t think about it twice. It gives them more opportunity to spread out at the very least rather than having to lean halfway over the bar to talk to one another.

Ivy joins Katherine and Cadence in the crescent-moon booth closest to the actual bar. Freeing up stools for Adrian and Nadya — though Lily quickly pulls away to jog up a tightly-coiled metal staircase by the back door to, apparently, check on her charging phone and call up Maricruz.

“When did you add the second floor?” Adrian asks Garrus; who now is moving so fast Nadya’s pretty sure he’s getting a little blurry around the edges.

He doesn’t even pause to think. “We finished it a couple of years before the turn of the century. After you and your lady friend had such a hard time finding accommodations I took a real stock in the idea of places more… suitable to our folk.”

Adrian gives an “aah” of understanding, but if he thinks he can just get away with that without being smacked in the arm he’s very mistaken.

“Ow?” He tries to look affronted down at Nadya — it doesn’t really work.

“You’ve been here before?”

“Briefly, yes, in the later 19th century. Why are you so surprised?”

She gives a little shrug. “It just doesn’t seem like your kind of scene.” Yes, the Graveyard Shift is rustic, charming; antique. But it’s also dusty, rickety, and Nadya really doesn’t trust the way those stairs screamed through Lily’s every step.

“Well — yes and no. I enjoy this place immensely; you should have seen it back in its heyday.” He pauses; probably hopes Nadya will say something so he doesn’t have to keep going. But she knows a ‘but’ when she hears one.

“But… we weren’t here for a good time. We were here on Gaius’ behalf to settle some… unsavory territorial disputes between two vampire families.”

“Who’s ‘we?’”

His lips purse. “Kamilah and I.”

Garrus whistles shrilly behind them; breaks the chance for Nadya to go all melancholy before she even starts with a glass tumbler in front of Adrian and a wine on her end. “Thank you,” since she’ll definitely need it, now.

Cadence clears his throat into his fist. “Now that we’re all caught up perhaps I should finish what we started in my office?” He looks Nadya level in the eyes. “I told you I no longer had the Amulet of Nero?”

Adrian looks between her and Cadence with a rising surprise. She hadn’t gotten to that part, exactly, in her texts… thanks.

“What do you mean you don’t have the Amulet?”

“I thought that pretty self-explanatory.”

“Then why are we wasting time here?”

“I don’t have it because it didn’t provide what I needed.” And just like that he and Katherine are back on friendly terms. He swings an arm over the booth behind her and she accepts it with a sigh. “I had heard of the Amulet’s long history with vampires and thought that perhaps it had some sort of charm or hex that could prove useful to me.

“Objects have memories like people have memories. Only people — they live, remember, and die. Their memories are lost forever. But objects are a little like vampires. They just keep remembering.”

Adrian feels her still beside him. He reaches out to her; throw an arm around her shoulder, hug her; whatever gets spun on his roulette wheel of Uh-Oh, the Human is Freaking Out Again. This time, though, Nadya pushes his hand back. Touch is kind of the last thing she wants right now.

Why? He asks with his eyes.

Nadya looks away only because her own eyes want to give him an answer.

Because that means I’m an object, too.

“All that collective history should have been compiled in the Amulet,” Cadence continues, “but none of the witches I hired could help me unlock it. I even prostrated to the Garden Elders, you know.”

Judging by the way their new friends all react Nadya thinks that wasn’t a good call on his part.

“Before they lost the single brain cell they shared?” Ivy asks with a derisive snort. Garrus gets a chuckle out of it at least.

“Indeed. But they couldn’t even…”

Why did he trail off into silence? Doesn’t he know nothing good ever comes of trailing off into silence when it comes to matters of the supernatural?

Cadence’s eyes go wide. If he had a beating heart — he definitely wouldn’t have it now. “Mary Mother of Christ. I think that’s around the time when the Elders pulled the witches from the Quarter.”

He looks between Ivy between Katherine between Garrus; all of whom have gone just as silent and still. Something haunting them behind the eyes just out of sight.

“Do you think the Amulet did something to them?” Adrian asks — and Nadya’s glad to know she’s not the only one royally confused.

The blond vampire nods. “Of—Of a sort. You see, last year’s Mardi Gras was a bit… murder-y.”

“That was only a couple of weeks before the Awakening Ball — and my trial.”

“Lucky we made it out then.” He squeezes Katherine’s shoulder. The look on her face punctuates his optimism with a restrained barely.

“The Garden Coven — the witches of the city — their Elders went a bit…” Cadence tsks for a delicate turn of phrase.

And the hunter at his side doesn’t bother. “They went cuckoo bananas. They used a born necromancer, summoned a bloodwraith using the bones of an equally cuckoo bananas Nighthunter known as the Bloody Hand, and thought they could control him in the form of a vengeful spirit to kill the city leaders and install themselves in power.”

And she thought being chased by Vega was terrifying? Well, it was. But on some level Nadya’s kind of glad she didn’t have to touch any of this with a ten foot pole.

“I know I’m gonna regret asking this…” in fact she regrets it before she even finishes, “but why would they do something so… awful?”

“Fear is a powerful motivator.”

Ivy drums her nails on the table. “One of the Elders, Millet, was really handy with a deck of tarot. But the thing about prophesy — if you don’t have the gift, you just don’t have it. So the forces you call upon sort of… call upon you right back.”

Cadence’s whole world is being rocked; Nadya can totally sympathize. “The Amulet would have been the perfect conduit for Millet’s foresight. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it then.”

“Would it have saved anyone’s lives?” Garrus challenges him to consider it. Cadence does, but no answer at all is all the answer they need. “Shame.”

“So they used the Amulet of Nero and got a vision that drove them mad with… fear. I’m missing something.”

The gears are turning in Adrian’s head so fast steam might start squealing from his ears. “Whatever had been seen would have been tied to the Amulet’s magic.”

He and Nadya lock eyes. The same thought at the same time.

Whatever they foresaw would have had to do with vampires — with the Amulet — with Gaius.

Cadence snaps his fingers, eyes alight and a half-smile of understanding starting to grow on his lips. “The darkness coming has something to do with vampires!” Though when the weight of his words settles in, they’re decidedly less a revelation and more of an omen.

“Oh dear…”

“Before we get—ahem—any more ahead of ourselves,” Adrian cracks his neck and mulls over how best to go forward, “Cadence… what were you trying to open the Amulet for? You said it wasn’t useful, what do you mean?”

The man shrugs. “It was an object with great importance throughout much of recorded vampiric history. If you’ve forgotten that’s… kind of my thing. I hoped whatever lie within — whatever had the kind of power to draw us to it — might be able to jog a memory or two.”

“But it didn’t.”

“I’ll never know. I never got it open.”

“So you got rid of it?” Adrian’s voice raises more than a pitch or two. “If the Amulet couldn’t help you personally it wasn’t worth keeping safe?”

“What? No. But it took quite a bit of money to acquire, none of which was mine.”

As he starts to understand where Cadence is going with his story, Adrian leans forward with his elbows on his knees.

“You took a loan from Carlo. Which means it was left to Isadora when he passed.”

Who are Carlo and Isadora?

“Speaking of…” Katherine looks between Adrian and Cadence expectantly. It doesn’t bode well that Cadence shifts as if trying to inch away at the same time that Adrian takes a long drink.

The Nighthunter groans in frustration. “You guys are idiots!”

Cadence splutters — waves an arm at Nadya from afar. “Well I wasn’t exactly expecting them, was I?”

“I don’t care! That’s the first thing you should’ve done when you found out he was in town. But let me guess — you made tea.” Which is, unfortunately a fact the vampire doesn’t deny. “God, you are such a damn stereotype sometimes.

“And what about you?” She rounds on Adrian next. “You’re smart… ish. More responsible, I guess. Tell me you’re not as dumb as he is. Tell me you called her at the very least.”

From her edge of the booth Ivy looks like she’s taking way too much enjoyment in this. When Adrian’s head hangs she squeals in delight and claps with the promise of more yelling.

“I had more pressing matters to think about.”

“So that’s a no.”

“Correct.”

“That’s a no,” Katherine repeats; growing louder with every word, “to telling the most powerful vampire in the city about your little trip — and with not one, but two vampires staying in her territory for longer than a fucking layover?”

Some clarification on the rising panic bubble blowing up inside her would be awesome, but Nadya has a feeling she’s just not gonna get one.

“Forgive me for caring a little more about the danger of the most powerful vampire in the world more than Isadora de la Rosa.” Adrian almost snarls — Nadya swears she hears the glass in his grip creak ever so slightly.

Judging by the look Kathy gives him she doesn’t regret one syllable; not a single one.

“Its not my forgiveness you’ll need.” She grabs Cadence’s arm and turns it at an awkward angle to look at his watch. “Lucky for you Flechette just opened.”

“‘Flechette?’” Nadya asks — and can’t help but feel like an owl at this point.

Katherine snorts. “Flechette is the front for the city vamps; and they’re headed by Isadora de la Rosa.”

But this is a good thing. They know where the Amulet is. Sure, it sounds like there might be a little arguing along the way but… surely this Isadora woman will be totally understanding, right?

“You don’t have to come, Nadya.”

She looks at Adrian and really can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Of course I do.” Her eyes narrow. You know what I went through for this. “Why would you think I wouldn’t want to?”

“Because Flechette is a fetish club.” Oh.

Well… yes, yes she’s still going. She’s been to worse places than a fetish club; the Shrike, the Shadow Den, kind of… how bad could it really be?

“Well, at least Lily will enjoy it.”

#bloodbound #choices bloodbound #adrian raines #playchoices fanfiction #bloodbound fanfiction #bloodbound mc #mc: nadya al jamil #lily spencer #oc: cadence smith #katherine nightbound #garrus #ivy #krom #cal lowell

[daddy-satrinava]

8th of July part 2

[AO3]

Words: 2550

Rating: Mature

Nadia’s laugh echoes like the sweetest melody on the palace hallways, dimly lit and yet unusually welcoming. Hand in hand, both a little unsure of your legs, you totter towards your bedroom, when you come across another pair of giggling figures.

“I-I’m showing Princess Natiqa the way to her chambers,” Portia rushes to explain, even though neither of you questioned anything.

Natiqa has been living in the palace since she took on the position of ambassador, months ago.

When the party finally came to an end, Nadia assured her guests there is a bed for everyone and that her friends are welcome to stay as long as they want, but no one felt like calling it a day. Nazali proposed to Julian they’d continue their medical talk on the veranda, Asra and Muriel decided to explore the garden, Portia and Natiqa ‘happened’ to run into each other in the halls and you and Nadia retired to her wing.

You close the door behind you and take a moment to breathe out. Nadia disrobes of her shawl, leaving her beautiful shoulders exposed, and her movements put you at ease. You’re still smiling; it feels like you’ve been smiling forever and just now, more than ever before, you realize how happy you are. How happy she makes you.

“I love you so much.”

She laughs. “Are you drunk?”

Yes, on you, you mean to say, but that would result in some merciless teasing that isn’t part of the plan for tonight. Instead, you place your hands on her hips, and she imitates your pose.

“Did you enjoy today?”

“Of course, dear, it was absolutely lovely!” Nadia kisses your cheek. “However did you manage to bring Nazali? And Muriel?”

“I would have gathered your entire family, but I thought that’d be too much of a shock for you.”

You both sit at the edge of the bed, with your backs to the shining moon. Even the sky is clear of clouds and full of stars. She pulls you to her chest and you stay like that for a while, saying nothing, just breathing each other’s scent.

“I’m glad you had fun.”

“I couldn’t have wished for more.”

“Oh,” you make, sorrow in your voice. “Then I suppose I’ll have to get rid of all the ostentatious gifts I bought you.”

She grins and pushes you playfully, both of you falling on the mattress in the process. Once you stop giggling, you reach to your pocket and extract the pouch from Natiqa. “Except this one, maybe.”

Nadia gives you a cautious look, then takes the pouch from your palm and carefully pulls out a fine golden lace with a small emerald pendant. She gasps softly, her lips remaining parted, and she sits up, looking at the gift in the faint light. Her gaze switches from the jewelry to you, then back to the jewelry, and she studies the detailed cut of the emerald.

“I gave the gem to Natiqa and she had it made into a necklace.” You say when she stays silent.

She hands it back to you and regains her composure, turning around expectantly. You brush her hair over a shoulder and press your lips on the skin of her nape before clasping the necklace. “Touch it,” you encourage her, and when she does, something glows green under your shirt. Intrigued, she pulls out the lace around your neck and reveals a similar emerald; the one she gave you when you first came at the palace.

“How?” She says, but quickly answers herself, “Magic, of course. I am married to a magician.”

You chuckle and enclose the pendant in your fist, making Nadia’s glow too. “It’s not like we’ll ever be parted for too long, but I thought I’d be a nice idea. To know when we need each other.” You barely finish the sentence and she wraps you in her arms so tight it feels like she wants you there forever. Not that you’d complain.

“This is the most beautiful gift I’ve ever received,” She whispers.

You play around with your necklaces a bit, joking that you’ll never lose each other in the dark again and considering making secret codes, but Nadia’s obvious desire to pull you into her lap halts the conversation. She kisses you until you’re out of breath and slips a hand under your shirt, but before she can lay you down on the bed, you grab her shoulders and sit back up.

“Oh, Nadia, come on, it would be a shame to break the theme of the day right now. Let me spoil you to the end.”

Her first reaction is to raise an eyebrow and smirk in disbelief, but then she sees the determination on your face and complies. “You deserve it, darling,” You coo, burying your face into the crook of her neck, and lay her down on the silky bed sheets.

You undress her slowly and the sole sounds you hear are your breaths and the fabrics shifting, though you’re not sure whether the palace is enveloped in a serene silence or the world has stopped in its place for the two of you. The emerald looks ethereal on her skin, catching the pale moonlight in one of its faces. Time stops until, with an easy movement, the gem glitters, refracting light differently, beautifully still.

The dress is now carefully settled on the chair nearest to the bed and Nadia watches you with nothing but curiosity in her eye. Had you not seen her this bare so many times before, you would have taken a long moment to marvel at her beauty, but tonight it’s not your needs you must tend to, it’s hers. So you climb the bed again and, crawling backwards until she can only see you above her knees, you work your way back up on a trail of kisses. No inch of her legs is left uncared for, from calf to the soft skin of her inner thigh, then you pause to move her hips and reposition yourself. You drag your nails on her side and observe her stomach moving evenly. Nadia is incredibly patient, never breaking her gaze from you, and allows you to control the pace. It’s almost as if she likes it, you think, smiling mischievously. Oh, how quick she was to drop the guard!

“Would you like me to go on?” You tease, your mouth inches away from her abdomen.

“It would be rather rude to stop now.”

With your lips pressed to her skin, you move your hands up along her ribcage until your thumbs find the outline of her breasts. Then with one long lick your mouth is on her chest, between them. You look up enticingly, but she simply smiles and cards her fingers through your hair. What about this? Your thumbs circle her nipples once, twice, then pinch them lightly. Her breath hitches ever so slightly at this, and you repeat the motion until they’re hard under your fingers. Still playing with her breasts, you resume your kisses on her collarbone, shoulders and arms then back to her neck and her plump lips waiting for you.

A hand travels to her sex and cups it firmly, earning a gasp from Nadia. You caress it and she squirms underneath you, more so once you take a nipple between your lips and suck lightly. You can feel her growing more and more wet under your touch and slip a finger through her folds. She rolls her hips forward, but when you don’t add friction, she speaks up. “I want you.”

“Where? Here?” You rub her smooth entrance.

“Yes, right there.”

“As you wish, Countess.”

She opens her legs to receive you, and sighs in relief when you kiss her sensitive clit. You hold her down with both hands and begin with long, careful licks, applying more pressure as she heats up, urging you with a fist in your hair to suck harder. You devour her until her moans grow breathier and the grip on your scalp tightens. That’s when you notice she tenses, and not just from the pleasure building up; she thinks you’ll stop. But you don’t, your mouth works her clit with zealous licks, and she comes quicker than you expected, with a deep moan that shudders through her whole body. You grip her shaking knees as you rise and give her a smug smile, chin sleek with her arousal.

No sooner has she caught her breath Nadia is already reaching at your clothes, pulling you into a heated kiss that gets you off the track, but you come to your senses. “Oof,” you scold her, fixing your collar. “I wished this wouldn’t be necessary, but if you can’t help yourself…”

You disappear from her side and come back immediately with a strip of violet silk. You raise her wrists above her head and she stiffens instinctively, but then she sighs and bites down a smile. She allows you to bind her to the headboard then tests the strength of your knot, visibly amused by the change of roles, if not a little awkward.

“If you want me to do something, you need only ask,” you purr, feeling her wrists to make sure the binding isn’t too tight.

She straightens her back, bringing her chest forward. “I will keep that in mind. As for now, I would like you to begin.”

“Begin what?” It sure feels good, asking these frustrating questions.

She points with her chin to the sheets. “Whatever it is that you plan with that.”

You look down to the object that fell out of your pocket, a finely smoothed crystal not longer and not thicker than your little finger. You kept that for later, but now that you’re here…

Her legs are still shaking as you settle between them again and her eyes follow you closely, trying to guess your next move. You drag your lips across her thigh, scraping it lightly with your teeth, and use your thumb to stroke her core.

“Ha-ah!” Her hips jerk when you press the crystal on her clit and it starts pulsing. She blushes, embarrassed by her reaction, and you can’t suppress a chuckle. You run your other hand over her leg and focus on the toy, enhancing the vibration just slightly, and she hums at the sensation. Nadia presses closer to the source of pleasure and once you judge by the sounds she makes that she wants more, you slip a digit inside her, then two. You’d gladly pump into her until she gets off, but knowing how much stronger delaying makes the orgasm, you don’t spend too long fingering her and weaken the pulse until it ceases. And of course, the needy look on Nadia’s face is immensely gratifying.

“My, my,” She says, “Aren’t you a bit cruel? This is my special day after all.”

You laugh and lean in to kiss her fondly. “It’s not cruel, Nadi.” You jump from the bed and cross the room to where the canopy obstructs her view. “It only gets better, I promise.”

Pleasuring Nadia, having her tied on the bed and so vulnerable under your touch, it gave you a sense of pride, a newfound desire to lead her on, and yet the biggest rush comes when you reveal yourself to her, moments later, sporting her favorite strap.

It’s sweet and slow at first, with many lingering kisses. You hold her as your hips motion in and out leisurely and barely increase the speed until she says so. You’re worshiping her with your eyes and she doesn’t dare to close hers; you just look at each other. Then she touches your necklace and now in near darkness your bodies are coated in a rich green that throws shadows on the tangled sheets and sparkles in Nadia’s crimson eyes. She says “More,” and a bold movement of your hips that hits the right spot makes her muffle a moan against your shoulder.

Your hand rests on her neck then goes up, brushing her lips with your index, and to your surprise, she opens her mouth and takes the finger in. The warmth of her tongue and the feeling of her teeth scraping your skin is enough to make you see red, but when she begins sucking you feel like you lost your upper hand.

You kiss her forehead and untie the knot holding her down. She wastes no time and tangles her fingers in your hair, pulling you into a searing kiss, and you grant it to her, but once you part for air you get off her and kneel on the bed.

“Turn around,” you say, your tone much less imposing than you expected. Nadia settles on all fours in front of you and before you can stop yourself you spank her, then freeze.

“I-I didn’t mean to… Sorry.”

“Dear, this really isn’t something to apologize for.” She looks at you over her shoulder. “The view must have been too tempting.”

You kiss the spot where you hit her, then grab her hips and bury the dildo inside her fully and ask “Fast or slow?”

“Fast, damn it,” She groans.

More than happy to oblidge, you proceed to fuck her earnestly, until her moans turn into whimpers and her whimpers turn into breathless cries. When you start panting, you retrieve the crystal that was abandoned on the bed and you reach around to her bud longing for attention. You can tell she’s close, so you strain and pick up the pace, wet sounds filling your ears.

She places her hand over the one holding the crystal on her clit and you feel the magic flowing through your fingertips, so heavy it makes you dizzy. Your necklaces glow at once and for a split second you wonder how did she do that, but then you remember you’re married to Nadia.

She grabs your ass cheek, urging you to go deeper, and moans your name, her voice intoxicatingly lustful. You wrap your other arm around her waist and now the two of you are as close as you can get, your bodies slamming together with each thrust.

“Oh, don’t you dare stop now—“

Her mouth drops open in a silent cry, her back arches and her eyes squeeze shut. After the first wave of ecstasy, she lets out a keen moan and she sinks back into the mattress, trembling and panting. Exhausted yourself, you discard the strap and collapse next to her.

She turns around and to your surprise, cuddles up against your side. You remember what she told you in the morning about never having been loved like this and you bring her closer to you. You can feel her heart racing in tandem with yours, and as you lay together, they slow down.

“Every birthday is going to be special, I promise,” You say. “And every day.”

“And every night?” She chuckles, her voice tired a little hoarse.

You grin and press your lips on her forehead. “Not like this one, ‘cause I fear we’re gonna wind up drained.”

“Oh, are you tired already? The moon is still up, and until the sunrise, it’s still my birthday.”

What a woman, you think, closing your eyes. Just a minute to catch your breath.

#the arcana #the arcana game #nadia satrinava #countess nadia #nadia route #nadia x mc #nadia x apprentice #every single satrinava swoons over portia ok? #happy day of your birth nadia #n(adia)sfw

[tales-from-exo-planet]

BARCELONA | PATHCODES VOL. II

ACT I. “The Sea” Length - 2,922 Mood - Despondent, Yearning Pairing - Tao x Reader “Afterwards, I paused and watched the sea and the sunset I found that this world is as beautiful as you say it is The you and I that left The vacations that we've had Right now, can I hug you one more time? I want to thank the you from before for giving me different outlooks towards life ” “19” by Tao

_____________________

Days were spent memorizing scents. Textures. Sounds. Taste.

The fluttering and trilling of a distant woodlark.

The crash and drag of the churning ocean tides against the ragged rocks and beaten sand just beyond your window.

The tolling of the chapel bell.

The chattering of children as they zoomed by on ringing bikes.

The click clack of so many people coming and going.

The lonesome whistling of the train in old town.

The smell of lavender soap on your grandmother’s hands as she returned to dress your bandages.

Her kiss at your brow while her weathered palms cupped your tearful cheeks as she whispered, “mi querida, dulce _____. Descansa ahora.”

She would gently hold your wrists down before leaving, reminding you through gesture alone to not scratch away at the fresh bandages she’d wound tightly around your skull, protecting your healing corneas and eyelids.

Days passed listening to your aunt read your school materials to you that had been mailed upon your request by your academic advisor. You refused to attempt reading on your own, doubting your vision could have been restored as the physicians claimed.

“____ no quiere ver a nadie en este momento. Querida necesita descansar,” your aunt would murmur into the phone outside your closed door.

You did not wonder who intended to visit.

In your life, you had never wanted the solace you faced now, but for every moment that passed since the terror that had been witnessing for the last time the feral snarling grimace of someone you had once been so fond of, you were grateful for the reprieve. You treasured the distance you could keep without having to make excuses for it.

There were whispers at night from your grandparents, and aunts and uncles and cousins. Tearful conferences arguing about whether to pursue charges on your behalf since you would not discuss the case further with them.

You briefly remembered waking up in your hospital bed, screaming as if your eyes were still burning and vomiting at the smell of rotting flesh, startling your family who waited for you to rouse from extensive recurring reconstructive surgeries.

“Este hombre dice que pagará por ello, mi ____. Querida, hay alguien que quiere ayudarte a ti y a nuestra familia. No podemos costear sus cirugías y lamentamos. Pero él quiere hacerte justicia. Por favor, mi querida,” your uncles pleaded.

In the end, your grandmother made the choice as you knew she would.

She answered his call, and invited them to your house after allowing you a prescribed sedative earlier that morning.

“We are thankful to you, Sir. Please. She is all that we have. It has been difficult for us to believe this could happen to her. On our own, we can do so much but with help there is more that we can do,” you could hear her huffing as she and your grandfather bent to their knees and each grasped at his hands. You knew your uncles were biting back their pride.

“Please. This is something we are more than willing to help with. Again we deeply, and sincerely apologize that while in our care ______ was hurt to the extreme that it happened. What help we can offer can never undo what happened, but we will take special care of her from now on with your permission.”

Despite the fog of your sleep aids you could remember the smell of them after they had gone. You could discern the remnants of her sweet, airy, and his subtle smoldering scents dissipating amongst the heated conversation within the kitchen below as your grandmother prepared the family’s evening meal of fideuà.

“We don’t have to wait for the court. We can have our revenge,” your uncles would bluster.

“And then what would happen? It’s already in the news. Let’s not take it further,” your aunts would caution.

“Why do we have to stop? We are her family,” your grandfather roared.

“Where is he now when she needs him…” your cousins questioned.

“Where he had always been…” your uncles murmured derisively.

They quieted at the shushing of your grandmother and you heard the stairs creak at her weight as she climbed to your bedroom, the savory mixture of fire roasted tomato, starchy pasta and fresh seafood inspiring yearning gurgles in your stomach.

“Querida,” she would say upon entering your room and you could see the smile in her voice that was only for you.

She set the tray on your desk before rushing to help you sit up in bed, propping you up with multiple pillows.

“Ahora querida, ¿ves lo que hice para ti? Ven a comer,” she would breathe before blowing on the spoon she brought to your lips. She would wrap your hand around her hand after your first bite, and place hers over yours, guiding you up and down at your urging.

You felt a familiar tugging at your throat as a lump of unshed tears threatened to overcome you.

You bit it back as she fed you, pausing to wipe your mouth, again placing the napkin where she meant to clean you and then replacing her hand with yours to allow you to finish the action, before she prepared the next bite.

“Querida, aquí hay un poco de agua,” she would say as she brought your left hand down to the cup on the tray resting on your lap. You shivered at the difference of temperature of firm warmth in her hands and the cold resolve of the icy glass but held on to bring the glass up higher to your face until she paused to put the straw between your lips.

When you were full, she cleared the tray away, her weight lifting clear and away from where you rested day in and day out.

“Abuela, no me dejes, por favor. Por favor,” you choked out, whimpering at how laborious it somehow was to speak again.

“Querida, querida. Shhh shhhh no no,” she cried out, leaving the tray and empty dishes on your desk with a clatter, her bare feet thumping against the wooden floor as she returned to you, wrapping her arms around you though she was mindful of avoiding your bandages.

“Quiero ver, quiero ver. Estoy asustado. Quiero que todo vuelva a ser como era,” your heart exclaimed, pumping out its forlorn declaration within your grandmother’s embrace.

But what your grandmother heard instead was your tentative, “¿donde esta mi padre?”

She waited a beat, smoothing your hair from your face, swaying as she hummed a familiar church hymn.

“Él sabe,” she muttered against your forehead, kissing you once again.

You snuggled deeper into her embrace, waiting though you already knew the story.

Your father had always been an innovative, amicable man serving his centuries old marine family well from the time he started learning the trade as a young child. He had never met a stranger and had never known an enemy. What he lacked in academic triumph he exceeded in his street smarts and business savvy.

But for all that he acquired for his family, and doted on them, he was still naive to the true nature of the world.

Your sunny, docile father was interested in furthering the potential reach of the family business and fearlessly approached a neighboring Catalan mariner company despite the protestations of his family. He braved the seas, confident in his quest and the purpose of his business venture. And upon reaching land, he was struck by the fair island beauty of the businessman’s daughter for he hadn’t been prepared for her.

She watched him as he delivered his speech, her eyes cutting between her father and brothers and the main from the small Eastern Barcelona mariner company. Despite the odds, he prevailed as if it was destined to be and as promised he performed the duties as chosen delegate of his family, sharing the profits and reaping the benefits. Benefits of rising early and casting himself into the throes of the tide promised not only a hearty catch but a brief moment to gaze upon the beauty of that fair subdued lady. Gazes returned and transformed into sweet notions and dreams and love.

Hushed, hurried, hopeful love.

Of this love you were conceived and cherished.

Of this love the two dreamers hoped above all that was real in the chance to see their secret embraced.

But your Catalan grandparents refused to acknowledge their love, forbidding their marriage, claiming instead that they would disown her, turning her belongings out into the ocean that had carried your father into her arms.

Seeing the fear and confusion on their beloved daughter’s face, they relented for a brief moment.

And during that brief moment of innocent, blissful plans made by your equally innocent parents, age old political tensions resurged restricting the abilities and freedom of your mother's Catalan family, a blow that resolutely doomed their loving union to fail.

On the day of her departure, her family pulled her aside while your father waited at the pier, that she would be allowed to be received into the home of her lover to bear her child but she would never see you grow up. She would be given two weeks time and then would return to never again see either of you.

You never knew if she was angry or if she cried while she was here with your father and your family because no one said so. Instead everyone talked about the way she smiled, the way she laughed, they way she sang, the way she danced through her labor pains, the way your father looked after her, and the way he held her and nursed her during her labor as he had promised right alongside his mother and sisters and sisters-in-law.

Even after you were born, your mother remained bright and cheerful, singing to you as she nursed, talking to you throughout the day as she cooked, reading to you, and praying over you.

It was only on the night of her departure when your father was packing his bag to return with you both to spend two weeks with her family in return as he had thought he had promised, that your mother stopped him at the door where her father and brothers waited and told him the truth, tearful only in front of him.

She was promised to another man in order to protect the family business and to protect him, her lover and her daughter, from financial ruin. If she agreed to marry this man, her family would not harm her lover and her child. The contract would be dissolved, and they would part amicably.

Your father listened and grieved where he stood, watching her as she was carried away from him, her doleful eyes on him as she screamed out begging for more time, her cries disturbing the midnight air. He watched, his posture slack until it seemed that she was swallowed by the ocean and gone from him and you forever.

He dissolved at the open front door, evaporating into the misty night air, becoming a phantom not only to his family, but to you his daughter. A phantom who existed only on the high seas.

You startled awake at the scent of burning tobacco in the air, turning your head towards your door as you would habitually do though you knew he was already gone.

Days were spent remembering scents, stories, sights.

Days were spent waiting for comfort.

“Papa…?”

You whimpered despite what you knew to be true.

You waited for her too though you remembered in a very deliberate out of body way their positions in the sand as if you were playing chess upon your downstairs dining room floor with your cousins goading you on to challenge your grandfather.

You remembered who was close.

You remembered who had run and who had only watched.

You remembered the hospital though you frantically tried to forget at first.

You remembered _________ (Edinburgh Reader) riding in the ambulance with you.

You remembered her telling you to hang on, and telling you that she was here. That Tao had gone ahead in the first ambulance but that everything was ok.

You remembered Tao’s shouts.

You remembered that because he had forced you back that he been doused across his left arm and shoulder.

You remembered the searing pain coursing through your body as you scrambled and fought the water that you fallen into.

You remembered hearing grunting and punches landing. Screaming. Shouting. Running. Sirens. Curses.

“You crazy fuck!”

“Stop Tao! Stop!”

You remembered someone’s burning flesh and the singeing of your nose. You remembered his scent of clove soap, sun rays and cinnamon toothpaste.

You remembered his voice. “I got her. I got her. Just tell them to come this way!”

“Oh dear God. God, please hurry! We are here!” _______ (Berlin Reader) exclaimed, dropping composure completely.

You remembered them. You remembered all but her.

And somewhere in your heart you knew how pitiful you were then.

Safe from those memories now, and progressing forward in the days that came after the sudden appearance and disappearance of your father, your family came to speak with you about their offer.

“You can begin therapy now and we will return to see your doctor for the next assessment.”

“Now that we have completed your research and your paper that can be submitted to your advisor.”

“They are offering you a job now that your graduation is secured.”

You listened, orienting yourself from where each voice of your family emanated, considering all that they advised.

You knew that their advisements were not suggestions and that they were merely informing you of the plan that had been decided.

You attended the physician appointments, grateful to feel the fresh air on your skin, and to smell the proximity of the salted water of your ocean.

Arranged for you were potential cosmetic and transplant surgeries if approved by your physician and yourself, payments were already secured.

You were allowed time to consider as you proceeded with occupational therapy.

And as you re-entered society you waited, doubtful of whether you knew who you truly waited for.

Gradually you allowed phone calls, and texts, turning on the phone you had requested was shut down.

Your cousins were more than happy to help you with reading through and discarding messages and voicemails.

You were afraid to ask who appeared in your notifications most often though they told you anyway.

“There are a lot of foreign numbers here, ______”

“And foreign names…? Is it Toe?”

Giggles.

“Why does your face look like that?”

“You’re blushing!”

“Who is...______ (Edinburgh Reader)?”

“I can’t say some of these names!”

Suddenly your phone chimed.

“It’s ringing!” They sang holding the phone out to you.

“Press the talk button!” They cheered, obtuse to your bewildered expression.

“Hello? ________? Are you there?” Tao asked.

The youngest of your cousins grasped your hands and placed the phone there.

“Put it on speaker!” One of the boys pushed past, bumping against your bed until he pressed the button that raised the volume of Tao’s voice so he could be heard.

He called out to you again, sounding nervous, “______?”

“Privacy! Move!” One of the your younger girl cousins announced corralling your cousins out the door.

Alone together again you were frightened.

But he waited.

“_______?”

You pressed the screen frantically until you heard the electronic click, exhaling at the silence that greeted you.

You slid under your covers, pushing the pillows to the floor.

And immediately, you regretted your cowardice.

You sat up, slightly lightheaded at the rush to your head.

You called downstairs and heard your cousins running back up the stairs at the sound of your voice to help you.

“Did he hang up?”

“Did you want to try again?”

And again they went through your contacts until they found his number again.

“H-hello?” You rasped at the sound of his voice.

#exo fanfic #Tao fanfic #pathcode au #human realm #universe gamma

[thegoldenyears-memories]

I HAVE DIED EVERYDAY WAITING FOR YOU, a bertram (ft. rosalind) mix

𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒊 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓? 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅

                                                            ( listen / download )

01. CREEP de radiohead ( when you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye. you're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry. you float like a feather in a beautiful world. i wish i was special, you're so fucking special. but i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo. what the hell am i doing here? i don't belong here. i don't care if it hurts, i want to have control. i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul. i want you to notice when i'm not around. you're so fucking special, i wish i was special. )

02. I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND (THE BEATLES COVER) de t.v. carpio ( oh please, say to me you'll let me be your man. and please, say to me you'll let me hold your hand. and when i touch you i feel happy inside, it's such a feeling that my love i can't hide. )

03. BAD IDEAS de tessa violet ( i hope you don't think i'm rude but i wanna make out with you. and i'm a little awkward, sure, but i could touch my face to yours, oh. and no one ever called me smooth but i just wanna see the grooves between your hands, your teeth, oh, tell me, do you think about me? i just wanna kiss you, and even if i miss you at least i'll know what it's like to have held your hand, oh! no-o, hey! bad ideas, ay (oh!) i know where they lead (hey, oh!) but i have too many to sleep and i can't get enough, no. i wanna kiss you standing up, oh, no! and if tomorrow makes me low (oh!) well it'd be worth it just to know, 'cause i can't get enough, no, i wanna kiss you standing up. i don't know what compels me to do the very thing that fells me, i wake up, still high on you but by the night i'm crashing through. so why'd i wanna kiss you even though i miss you, guess i just wanted to know what it would feel like, oh! )

04. I WANNA BE YOURS de arctic monkeys ( you call the shots, babe, i just wanna be yours. secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought. maybe i just wanna be yours. )

05. ALL THOSE PRETTY LIGHTS de andrew belle ( the wind blows through your hair, as you're walking people stare up the block and down the street to north king's highway. and there's a beating in my chest and it's seeming to suggest that before this day is through it might go my way. and so i sit back in my seat, i scribble down something that's sweet about a boy, a girl, an endless stretch of scenery. 'cause it's like falling to your knees before a stranger on the street, i did it just the other day, you should have seen me. oh and i wanna remember this night, and how my words never came out right, it's just my patience that keeps me alive, just like all the pretty lights in the sky. there's something to be said about the colors in your head and how they mix to form the perfect shade of sadness, not because of things i've done or any of the songs i've sung, it's just the story of our lives. and i remember we stayed up way past your bedtime, up on the second floor, down by my sliding door. just innocent kids in a victimless crime, trapped in a metaphor, hoping for something more. )

06. CAN I BE HIM de james arthur ( you walked into the room and now my heart's been stolen. you took me back in time to when i was unbroken. now you're all i want and i knew it from the very first moment. 'cause a light came on when i heard that song and i want you to sing it again i swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me like it was a private show. but i know you never saw me. when the lights come on and i'm on my own, will you be there to sing it again? could i be the one you talk about in all your stories? can i be him? i heard there was someone but i know he don't deserve you. if you were mine i'd never let anyone hurt you. i wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips, it's all that i've been thinking about. )

07. DON’T GET ME WRONG (THE PRETENDERS COVER) de lily allen ( don't get me wrong if i'm looking kind of dazzled, i see neon lights whenever you walk by. don't get me wrong if you say hello and i take a ride upon a sea where the mystic moon is playing havoc with the tide, don't get me wrong. don't get me wrong if i'm acting so distracted, i'm thinking about the fireworks that go off when you smile. don't get me wrong if i come and go like fashion, i might be great tomorrow but hopeless yesterday. )

08. BRUISES de chairlift ( i tried to do handstands for you, but every time i fell for you i'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you. i got bruises on my knees for you, and grass stains on my knees for you, got holes in my new jeans for you, got pink and black and blue for you. )

09. WHAT I WOULDN’T DO de a fine frenzy ( if we were children i would bake you a mud pie, warm and brown beneath the sun. never learned to climb a tree but i would try just to show you what i'd done. oh what i wouldn't do if i had you, babe. if i were old, my dearest, you would be older, but i would crawl upon your lap. wrap a blanket round our frail little shoulders and i'd die happily like that. it was now and we were both in the same place, didn't know how to say the words with my heart ticking like a bomb in a birdcage, i left before someone got hurt. )

10. ERES (CAFÉ TACVBA COVER) de kas sand ( eres lo que más quiero en este mundo, eso eres. mi pensamiento más profundo también eres. tan sólo dime lo que hago, aquí me tienes. eres, cuando despierto, lo primero, eso eres, lo que a mi vida le hace falta si no vienes, lo único precioso que en mi mente habita hoy. ¿qué más puedo decirte? tal vez puedo mentirte sin razón. pero lo que hoy siento es que sin ti estoy muerto, pues eres lo que más quiero en este mundo, eso eres. eres el tiempo que comparto, eso eres. lo que la gente promete cuando se quiere. mi salvación, mi esperanza y mi fe. soy el que quererte quiere como nadie, soy el que te llevaría el sustento día a día, día a día. el que por ti daría la vida, ese soy. aquí estoy a tu lado y espero aquí sentado hasta el final. no te has imaginado lo que por ti he esperado, pues eres lo que yo amo en este mundo, eso eres. cada minuto en lo que pienso, eso eres. )

11. A SKY FULL OF STARS (COLDPLAY COVER) de twinkle twinkle little rock star ( instrumental )

12. JUST ANOTHER GIRL de the killers ( all of my friends say i should move on, she's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart so hard. and all of my friends say it wasn't meant to be, and it's a great big world, she's just another girl. i could be reeling them in left and right, something's got a hold on me, tonight. well, maybe all of my friends should confront the fact that i don't want another girl. she's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart, boy. )

13. SWEET DREAM de greg laswell ( if i could write out my own dream for the next time that i sleep, you'd be the first one that i see and i the last one that you keep. the dream would go on and on while we sway against all things thrown our way. and the morning would be so cruel when it came with sunshine and warmth to blame for announcing the end of my sweet dream. )

14. MELTING de kali uchis ( you are my church, you are my place of worship. when you're around, my insides turn inverted. my blood start to rush when i see you, darling. i know you're nearby and i know your purpose, take one look at you, you're heavens incarnate. what is this spell baby, please show some mercy. melting like an ice cream when you smile. melting, you're a daydream, stay a while. i pray that i can learn to be funny, i am watching every stand-up comedy just hoping that it will rub off on me, so you will smile at everything i say. you got some soft lips and some pearly whites, i wanna touch them with the dead of night. your smile ignites just like a candlelight, then somehow i know everything's alright. )

15. NIÑA ROJA de adanowsky ( niña roja, mírame, dame besos y quédate, en mis brazos piérdete, niña roja, sígueme. niña, sólo por ti lloro, tengo lágrimas de oro, quiero que te lleves todo, róbame, soy tu tesoro. en mi corazón tatuada te llevaré hasta mi muerte. cuando mi cuerpo se disperse serás el viento en mi espalda. )

16. MAPS de yeah yeah yeahs ( wait, they don't love you like i love you. )

17. A THOUSAND YEARS (LULLABY) de christina perri ( heart beats fast, colors and promises, how to be brave? how can i love when i'm afraid to fall? but watching you stand alone all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. one step closer. i have died everyday waiting for you, darling don't be afraid i have loved you for a thousand years, i'll love you for a thousand more. time stands still, beauty in all she is. i will be brave, i will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. every breath, every hour has come to this. one step closer. )

╰  ❄  feliz navidad y año nuevo, emma.

—; de: golden ( @thegoldenyearsrp )

—; para: emma ( @bcrtramaubrey )

Que tal, Emma 8D. Soy yo, el Main. Así es, quizá sólo me vea como otra página en internet, pero soy mucho más que eso. Te he hecho este mix de Bertram sufriendo por Rosalind, pobre amigo. Me dio risa y pena, ya que deje de ser emo. Disfruta de esta colección darks de canciones, y recuerda, el Main te quiere mucho, al igual que todos aquí 8D.

P.D.: *El Main golpea a Bertram*

                                                  — golden. 🎅

#bertram #santa secreto 2018

[gotmattitude]

we’re gone but we don’t know where

WHO: Santana Lopez ( @trickstersantana​ ) and Matt Rutherford, with NPCs Julio Lopez, Someone.

WHAT: Running errands in New York City, doing some sponsor/sponsee bonding? Sort of?

WHEN: Sep 22nd

WHERE: A building in a dark alley.

WARNINGS: Mention of needles/injections, stabbing, manipulation, death, murder implied?

Santana walked, or almost run, alongside Matt through the city, too happy of her fake sense of freedom. She was too used to being trapped in NYADA. "C'mon, Hoodoo guy, we are almost there." She said with a big smile. She talked with her 'sib' Oliver to know where to met with them and her fake parental figure. She should be wary, she should warn Matt even more of how awful he was. But still, she was happy to see him and talk with him again. A happiness that would end quickly, she knew it very well. "This is the place." She said pointing to a   seemly abandoned building on a dark alley. The kind of place where super hero parents die. "Alright, fair warning. My 'dad' is a fucking ass. Like, the worst, the less he know of you, the best. Oh God, thank you so much for this Matt I will always value your sacrifice, I'm sorry you always have to met the worst... the worst of my kind when you are with me." She would love to tell him she could introduce him to a nice trickster someday, but she didn't knew anyone she liked. Her 'mom' only, but she didn't want to see Santana.  "Ready?"

Matt's internal gears were turning as Santana bounded through the streets of NYC. It was really about time that he used his privilege for something other than snarking Bloodlines on the internet, he thought, just as Santana urged him on. "I'm walking, I'm walking," he said, a little distracted, but speeding up to keep up with her. The building seemed sketchy, at least at first glance, but he'd slept in worse places before. He'd just keep his hands in his pockets; one on his phone, the other on his wallet. "Alright, sure. Is this your hangout spot, or?" 

He wondered what was up with Santana's 'family,' what they'd done, but didn't ask. Some people got shitty families. Some of them were shitty enough to add scare quotes to the word. He nodded along, until she started apologizing to him. "Hey, c'mon. Tamamo--Tamamo wasn't your fault. Your 'dad' is also probably not your fault. Besides, I know one badass trickster already, the bar was too fuckin' high," he joked. "And you know, you don't represent your entire race, and all that shit." Giving a last tentative glance towards the place, he nodded. "Don't let him know too much, he's an ass. I got it. I'm ready when you are."

Santana nodded at the question, but she wasn't that sure. It might be a trap too.  She knew it wasn't her fault, completelly, at least on the Japan part, still, she felt like she was dragging Matt into danger. But she wasn't sorry enough sorry to stop it. She smiles a little at the compliment. "Lucky for them, or they would be super screwed" She joked back. When she was about to open the door, someone opened it from the inside. 

Someone who looks very shady opens the door. They are a white teen, pretty shorty, with black hair and a red hoodie. Even without meeting them before, you could sense the annoying teen energy surrounding them. "Hermanita!! You finally arrived!!" They shout in a very bad spanish pronunciation, quickly hugging Santana to her exasperation. "Hay! Who are you? Who are you? A new friend? What's your name?" They ask very fast, looking at Matt, ending the hug with Santana and going to hug the other guy if no one stopped the energetic kid.

Matt chuckled at her joke, adding something like 'whatcha gonna do about it' before the door swung open, and someone... interesting came out of the other side. He tried not to be annoyed, but Aether, he'd barely been a teenager, and sometimes he was really grateful for that, including right then. An eyebrow raised, he was selfishly glad for a moment that this kid was Santana's "something"--although probably not her "dad"-- and not his. 

Until the kid started heading towards him. Frozen in place, he let them hug him, patting them awkwardly on the back as the only vague form of reciprocation. "I'm Matt," he said when the hug was released, and he could comfortably breathe again, in his own bubble of personal space. "I'm Santana's friend. What's your name?" It was polite to ask, but now he was also very curious. Where had this kid come from?

Santana groans and complains when the kid shows they're still existing. "Oh my God, I'm no family or 'family' or yours. I'm nothing yours. Don't bother Matt you brat" She fear Matt was already saying too much information, but hoped it won't scalate. She went upstairs hoping the others will follow. She enters a room that looked like it was abandoned for years until a little kid found it to turn it into their secret operation base. She entered the living room, completelly covered with a blanket fort, lots of toys and anime figures on the floor and snacks and sweets around. She rolled her eyes when she noticed her 'dad' was sitting on the couch. Inside the blanket fort. "God fucking dammit Cabrón. Really? Your idea of safe place to meet is where the brat lives, right?" She could notice how unconfortable was to be in a room with two other tricksters,  but she know Matt was the only one there that had to suffer 3 distrust auras. 

Someone smiles and moves nerviously and happy. "Do you have a tumblr, Santana's friend? Guess my name!" They said, and fake cries with Santana's complains while she goes upstairs "You're so meaaaaan, you both use me as a messenger and... hey don't ignore me!!" They say as the walk upstairs too. 

The man in the sunglasses smiles at seeing Santana appear, getting up from the couch, but still not being able to stand up fully for the blankets. "That's how you say hi to your old 'dad'?" He says, sound fakelly offended. "If you assume the horse kid lives here." He shrugs. "But let's get to the point, I know you aren't visiting just because you miss me."

Matt stiffens up when this kid asks for his tumblr. Were they going to hack him? Spam him?  Dig up his every secret and expose them to the world?? He smiles, tight and uncomfortable, and thinks for a long second. "I'll guess your name if you guess my tumblr URL. And no checking Santana's blog for clues." He's setting himself up for failure, he can feel it. But there was no such thing as being too careful, not in this city, not this year, not anytime. 

When they go upstairs,  underneath all the alertness, something twists in his chest. Santana had once told him their pasts weren't so different, and he knows many LN experience homelessness, but the childishness of the blanket forts, of the candy and the toys makes sympathy shine through. When Santana makes that comment though, he finds himself looking around. Is there someone here? Is this a setup?? 

Matt looks to Santana for guidance on how to react to this man. Her "dad". He gives a noncommittal nod when he speaks to her, but doesn't greet him out loud. Yet. Shit. Now he's also wondering why Santana wanted to come here when she thought so badly of her "family". Maybe she found out about Brownstone. Maybe this was a way to quietly say "fuck you" for being another sponsor with blood on his hands. Or maybe she is a really good actress and she hates shadow magic more than she let on. His eyes dart back and forward between all three tricksters, and he has to push himself to settle down. What the fuck, chill, he thinks.

Someone looks defeated. What a masterful way to ruin their machinations. "Uuuhhhhhhhhh.... mattfriendofsantana dot tumblr dot com!" They try to guess while they go upstairs, and sits next to the man on the sunglasses. "I don't live here! This is my super secret operation base!!" They said with pride. 

Santana rolls her eyes. But she did miss him, sometimes she wasn't interacting with him. Everytime they met again it was full of regret. "You said things you knew things. About enchantments. So c'mon be a decent fake dad a help your fave fake daugther, you bastard." 

The man in the sunglasses points at the kid like saying. 'See?' and waves at the other man that went with Santana. "Hello, sorry my daugther was raised to forget to introduce people. You can call me Julio, who are you?" He asks, and talks a little softer to Santana, in spanish. "¿Cuánto confías en él? Y no digas que no te fias de nadie, eso ya lo se, Niebla. But yeah sure, if you are a decent fake daugther and give me the information I asked you about months ago."

Matt probably shouldn't feel as satisfied as he does to have outsmarted a child. But he does, and a smile tugs on his lips as they guess the wrong username. "Wrong. I'll tell you what letter it starts with if you tell me what letter your name starts with." Matt suggests, and even though he's probably a bit too cocky at the moment, the end of the sentence turns into a question. "Operation base for what?" he asks before he can stop himself. Do teenagers tend to have these sort of things? Is this normal? It takes him a second to brush off the confusion, but when he does, the initial suspicion lingers. Is this an ambush?? 

And Santana's asking about enchantments, and he would have thought there wasn't much left inside him to be twisted up, but there is. Aether, he hopes someone is able to help her. Brownstone was months ago, and she is still dealing with this shit?He tries to stand next to Santana and look intimidating with arms crossed, but his eyes keep darting from person to person to 'secret operation base', giving away his uneasiness. 

Matt nods at Santana's 'dad', and something about the way he spoke strikes a nerve. "Eh, politeness is fuckin' overrated. I'm Matt, it's... interesting to meet you, Julio." His attention drifts when the conversation turnsinto Spanish, once again glancing around the room. He has been here for... what? Two minutes? Two hours? And he's thoroughly confused. Thoroughly. He catches the tail end of her 'dad''s sentence, and an eyebrow rises of its own accord as he glances sideways at Santana. What the fuck was going on here?

Someone is too hooked up with this. "O!" Then pouts exageratelly "I told you is super secret! But it's for super secret meetings, like this one!" They reveal anyway. "Stop talking in spanish I want to know what you guys say!!" 

Santana was annoyed, but she throws him a notebook she was carrying in ther bag (who was there the whole time). "En una escala de 0 a 10, siendo un 0 'no le diría ni mi nombre', y 10 lo que me fio de la prediccion del tiempo, un 7. Now. What do you know?" Santana can see Matt also dislikes her 'dad' from minute one like every living on Earth. "We don't respect politeness in this fucking house." She says proud. 

The man in the sunglasses smirks. "Interesting. That's pretty generous. In the 'family' we have a saying about Santana's friends. They are either naive fools she's trying to use, or people without any morals whatsoever, which one are you?" He tries to catch the notebook in the air, but he fails, and he has to crouch to get it. "Eso es un número muy alto para ti, Niebla, te fias demasiado del hombre del tiempo." He says without opening it. "I actually don't know that much about enchantments and you suspected it, so this notebook is full of lies, right? But to not get stuck in the accusations of lying like always, let's jump to the deals. I'll have to do my research and if I get something, you tell me something. Now, what's the enchantment about. I can't help much without data, you know that."

Matt starts going through all the names with O he knows in his head. As it turns out, they're not that many. Octavius. Octavia. Octopus. Fuck. A deal's a deal, though, so he begrudgingly offers his URL initial as well. "G." What kind of super secret meetings do teenagers even have? Is this the first one to be hosted here? He also wants to know what Santana and her "dad" are saying, but he refuses to agree with this kid right now. Maybe there will be time for that later. 

Discreetly, he tries to gauge what they're saying. He hears numbers. Maybe it's a secret code. The little phrase about politeness shakes him out of it, but before he can react, Julio is talking to him. Eyes narrowed, he laughs a little, and crosses his arms over his chest. This is a test of some kind, he can tell. But he's not going to fall for it. "Bit of both. I'm a naïve dumbass with shit for a moral compass." The notebook falls straight to the ground, and he bites back a laugh, trying to not get visibly frustrated when he speaks Spanish again. Is he talking about me?? It's alright though, soon enough his eyes bounce back between the two like he's watching a ping pong match. "What do you know about Enchantments? Forcing people to do shit they don't want to do?" Matt asks, arms still crossed and keeping his gaze straight.

Someone checks their phone when they heard the first clue and opens Santana's tumblr page to find a blog she rebloged starting with G. They will scroll down until They Find Matt.

Santana is already nervous just looking at Matt and her 'dad' talk, but she knew showing she cares too much about Matt won't end well and her fake father would be ven more of a dick. She doubts before giving an answer. She crosses her arms. Ah, fuck it. "Ah, you know." She shrugs. "Self-deprecating magic bullshit. To be ashamed of myself, that I'm alone, or no one will miss me, that other people think I'm just an animal and all that super fake shit that is totally not real and I don't believe for a moment." She tries to say non challant like its her grocery list. "Alright maybe I believe that but it's magic's fault!"

The man in the sunglasses laughs at Matt's answer. "This guy is fun, Mist. I hope you aren't planning to stab him." He says way too casually. "Enchantments is manipulation for inepts who don't know how to convince people without magic." He listens to Santana, quiet for a while. "Oh, you finished? Really? That's it? God damnit Mist, you believed all those things already. What a redundant and useless spell."

Matt sighs when the kid takes out their phone. This is going to go great. 

[CW: needles]

His eyes narrow at the stabbing comment. What. The. Fuck. Was that an inside joke??? Did Santana regularly stab her friends, or enough so that her "dad" asks about it. "Don't worry, I stab myself enough with needles regularly. I can handle myself." Could he though??? He's trying real hard to look completely different than how he felt, which was threatened and confused as fuck, and he doesn't know if it's working.

Focused on what Santana is saying, his guard drops for a moment. Aether, how had it been so long since Brownstone, and he had no idea this was going on? He never means to pry, to force people to talk about things they don't want to, and he's been so ridiculously focused on his own bullshit that he just didn't know the enchantment went this deep. What a fucking dick. But this isn't the place to voice that. He turns back to Santana's "dad" and crosses his arms tighter against his chest again, and ignored the pang that comes with this comment that these things weren't new. "Do you know how to help her or not?"

Santana super fake laughs and then acts super offended "Excuse me? I had never, NEVER stabbed anyone with a real knife." She might had try a lot of times, though. 'How much do you know about it, you bastard?' She was getting even more nervous and unconfortable. "Don't listen to him, Matt, he thinks he is soooo funny" She rolls her eyes, and controls herself from saying 'I would never do that to you' because it would be too much of a lie. Who knows what the future hold, right? She gets even more angry to his fake father reaction. "I guess!!! But you don't have to be a dick about it!" She answers without thinking. "Ughhhh, c'mon! You are just saying that because...because you don't know shit about getting rid of it and you just want to...aggh!!" She is too annoyed and embarrased to say a proper argument.

The man in the sunglasses keeps his confident smile on. "Is that because you take drugs or the...the sugar thing...thing" He says, snapping his fingers, like he doesn't remember the name but it's so close to get it and that would help. He groans frustrated to his bad memory. "Mist, you throw a knife to my face, don't act all hight and mighty like you are above stabbing." He says as casually as fake dad could talk to his fake daughter about something as not washing the dishes. He calmly stares at Santana while she gets progresivelly more annoyed. "I told you it's like manipulation. Just manipulate yourself back goddamnit. Where is your manipulative liar pride? You are terrible at it, but also you believe a lot of crap, so it could work."

Matt is really doing his best to not freak out about the whole 'does Santana plan to stab me' thing, and he knows he's being irrational--oh. The aura. Times three, probably. He tries to push it down, and quirks a smile at Julio. "Testosterone," he says simply. Still... there have been knives thrown before, it seems, but he'll ask her about this afterwards. Aether, this experience has been fun already. He laughs awkwardly before he clears his throat and laughs again, still falsely, but more sarcastically. "Hilarious," he comments. 

Matt knows everyone has their insecurities, but today has really been a wake-up call, and he's growing steadily more annoyed at Julio, and worried about Santana, until he offers them a solution. Manipulate yourself back? Admittedly, that seemed like the wrong approach to take about getting herself to believe she wasn't an animal, or alone. But maybe Leah could help with that. "She's a fucking great manipulative liar," he defends her, and the words come tumbling out of him before he can stop them. "Is there anything else you know?" Matt asks.

Santana shrugs, still very annoyed and angry at everything. "But you dodged it! Geez old man, get over it. You deserved it. And stop asking Matt questions!" She frows even more at the useless advice. "That's bullshit. It's like an illusion. I could make a deal everyday so you had a noisy fly flying in front of your face forever. You can try to ignore it, even if you know it's not real, but it's still there." She doesn't know how to feel about Matt's defense. "Yeah!" 

The man in the sunglasses snaps his fingers when Matt's says testosterone. "Insulin! Oh, it's not that." He says first proud and then dissapointed. The kid stops staring at their phone to complain. "Daaaad, I explain it to you!" and the man makes shushs sounds so they shut up. "Mist that's hurtful, I'm hurt. And someday, someone won't dodge your knives, and they would be no one to stop you. " Beats. "That sounded too optimist." He laughs at Matt saying Santana is any good at manipulation. "If she was, you wouldn't know. But you know because she is not subtle at all. I love you, Mist, but you are terrible." He raises his eyebrows to Santana's explanation. "You should have started by that! Then you know how to deal with illusions, I already teach you half of what I know!"

Someone whose name starts with O grins. "Found it~! Oh! You're a doppel!! I have some theories about doppels."

Matt, without thinking it over, blurts out: "or she might stop throwing knives at people." There are many ways to stab someone. In their back. Looking right at them. Having someone else throw the knife. With a hidden contraption. Still, he cringes at his own completely useless addition and gives Julio a look like he just owned him. Which he knows he didn't. What the fuck is he even trying to do here. Maybe he should just let Santana talk. "That's not necessarily true," he says, immediately contradicting his decision to let Santana do the talking. "You can realize after you've been manipulated how much they fucked you over." He shrugs. 

He narrows his eyes at Santana's example about the fly, and he thinks about it for a moment. "But maybe he can convince you to stop making the deal." Get to the root of the problem. He ignores Julio's comments about illusions. Santana's at least half the reason he's even attempted to work on his illusion magic. Blaine's like 15%. The rest is just he really likes learning. 

Looking at the kid, he lifts his chin. "What did you explain to him?" Matt asks, just as Julio shushes them. A sigh leaves him before he can stop it when they find him online and immediately put their foot in their mouth. "Theories? About doppels?" An eyebrow is high in his forehead, and his arms remain crossed against his chest.

Santana is actually a little happy Matt is there and not only full of regret. "Yeah! Thanks, Matt" She stops to look at him. "Wait, what do you mean?" Hey, nice, actually they are discussing solutions and brainstorming. Who had though, talking things with people actually helped? "In this case, stop doing the deal would MAYBE had been getting rid of that bastard's magic. But SOMEONE" Marley. "Didn't want to testify for it.Yes I'm talking about you know how." She says Marley with her mouth in case Matt doesn't get it, but with no sound. "It's Marley I'm blaming Marley. And the entire  judicial system but mostly Marley."

The man in the sunglasses continues his theory.  "You know what to do agaisnt an illusion, Santana. Look out for the truth." His phone sounds, he checks it,  an shush the kid again,  "Don't waste time, we have to go now, Mist. I'll ask around to make your work easier, and you give the fucking information, alright?" 

Someone whose name starts with O knows they don't have much time. Their theories won't be stopped. "Everyone thinks doppels come from witches but WHAT IF" They say, very exagerately and dramatic. "Doppels are actually the tricksters who get to become human."

Gears are turning in Matt's head, and he points at Santana as he processes the information. "No--I don't mean Fuchs's magic," he says, as his attention remains on trying to hypothetically solve the enchantment problem. "Although I have no fucking clue why Marley wouldn't get her ass to court to testify," he says offhandedly, only sounding mildly annoyed. "I'm saying we get to the source of the problem. The source of your beliefs. And work from there." Shrugging, he speaks towards the ground for a moment. "Maybe we don't get rid of the deal at first. Maybe some days the fly is quiet. Maybe some days it just lays there. Maybe it buzzes without being able to see it. But we take steps."

Look out for the truth. Manipulate yourself back. Santana says Julio doesn't know enchantments, but Matt's starting to think he knows enough, at least, for them to make some progress. "Leaving so soon?" he asks, like he was really enjoying their company. 

Matt is straight-up rendered speechless when O-kid shares their theory, at least for a series of seconds that stretch long. If tricksters became human, would they have memories? Would they arise as doppels do? "Where would we get the memories of our past lives, then?" He asks, trying to one-up some kid, like an adult is supposed to do. "I'm pretty sure doppels are just doppels. Tricksters who become human are humans who used to be tricksters?" The first sentence is pretty confident, but the second sounds just about as unsure as he feels right now.

Santana groans "Because her problems are more important than everyone's else." But she rather focus on solutions now. "Ugh, Matt, the source is the entire world and systematic racism. This is not a thing we can change from the source. We are looking for realistic, magical solutions here" She listens to how Matt follows her fly metaphor. She doesn't agree, she just wants to kill the bug forever. Her fake dad was going to leave, anyway. "Alright, alright, I'll give you your shit info, but you better do something because I'm just going to give you as muchinformation as you give me. You have to go? Oh my God, please, tell me is not because there is some dangerous person coming here trying to kill you out of revenge for some fucked up thing you did to them." She stops for a moment. "It's Darling?" She is so annoyed at the kid. "If there wasn't like, proofs or evidence of doppels coming from witches, yeah, suuuure." Santana rolls her eyes to Matt outright lying to the kid. You don't even think you are human, Matt, don't say tricksters are now

Someone  whose name starts with O doesn't want to leave yet. "From the life as a trickster, of course! But doppels comes from someone else." The kid laughs at Matt question. "Hahahaha you have no idea, don't you?"

 The man in the sunglasses text someone, then throws the phone to the ground and breaks it. "You know it." He says with a smile and he could talk in spanish, but it would be easier to talk on a way only Santana would get. "But no, do you remember Clown and Mirror? Medieval fair, 2014.  This is like that time before Nails tried to throw a goat to Doorframe combined with that time Darling and Tibula were betting our lifes on a game of jenga at the aquarium." 

Santana hears that totally understanding the gravity of the situation and grabs Matt's arm. "Matt we have to go."

Matt scoffs. "A lot of shit is product of systemic oppression, and it doesn't mean you can't work on it. " He's pretty proud of his idea and his metaphors, alright? Besides, life already seems pretty bleak without adding 'no way to combat self-loathing thoughts instilled on you by systemic racism'. He's not about to add an extra layer of bleakness on purpose. "Maybe there's no magic solution. At least not without using more enchantments." 

"I'm almost sure that's not true," he tells the kid. "There's some pretty witchy memories in there. But it's not like that shit's gonna stop you from making up theories like that in your head. So whatever." Jesus, he's like the teenager here now. But he's annoyed. Sure, he has no idea, but do they have to point it out like that??

He goes to continue to argue--he's not even sure about what, but that seems to be what he's doing today--when it seems like things start moving real fast, real suddenly. His head jerks one way, and then the other, and his heart drums in his chest when tension seems to rise out of nowhere and Santana grabs his arm. "Wh--what? Sure. Sure, let's go." Glancing back towards Julio and the kid, he waves half-heartedly. "Nice... to meet you?"

Santana frows. There is has to be a magic solution. Bitch don't say that bullshit but instead she just makes complaining noises about it. She waves goodbye "Die a painful dead." Santana says, with a friendly tone. "I love you too!" his 'dad' answers. Oliver just says bye very enthusiastically.

She brings Matt outside, almost dragging him by the arm until they are out the flat. And then until they are far away from the flat. "Oh man, uuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I fucking hate him so much!" She complains, angry. "Sorry I dragged you into this. But..." She calms herself a bit. "But it really helped me. I think."

Matt waves goodbye to everyone in a confused daze as he's pulled away, partly by his own feet and partly by Santana. He's so confused by the circumstances, but he doesn't say anything while Santana complains. He just pats her on the arm while glancing over the direction they'd come from. 

His muscles relax when Santana says it had helped her. "Did it? You seemed sort of skeptical about it." His teeth worries his lip for a moment. "I told you before that I would help you with this, and I haven't been doing great at that, but whatever you think of for this shit, I'm in."

#para: all #para: trickstersantana #trickstersantana: all #para: 033 #para: we're gone but we don't know where

[mudgrrl3000]

A word about Mexican people: I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and trying find the words for what I want to say, and how to express it personally. So here goes. Having grown up in Oregon, where there is a lot of agricultural business, farm labor and industries, I have been surrounded by and interacted with a lot of Mexican immigrants and their families. In fact, having grown up in predominantly white communities my whole life, Hispanic, Latino and Asian people were the only minority POC that I had any frequent contact with. Throughout my life I have had many close friends who were second generation Mexican immigrants, the “legal” children of their parents who had migrated here seeking better lives for them and their families. Many of my young friend’s parents, grandparents and youngest siblings did not speak much English at all and they often acted as translators and liaisons to various community services for their families. I was lucky to have access to and chosen to take Spanish language classes from elementary school through college so I had some semblance of understanding and communication ability with my friend’s families and relatives. 8th grade and freshman year my two best friends were Mexican and a Spanish exchange student. We spoke mostly Spanish together. My sister worked at a Mexican restaurant, dated Mexican and Latino men and her friend group (which was almost exclusively Spanish speaking folks) and mine (mostly white punk rock kids) merged in a hilarious and beautiful way though soccer (fútbol). We met for weekly games of “punk rock soccer.” Half of us lower to middle class white punk kids and the other half Mexican, South American and a couple Spanish kids. We shared laughs, underage beer, hugs, food, hilarity and some of the best times of my life. My sister (who still speaks fluently) and I used to speak Spanish at home when we didn’t want my dad to know what we were talking about. It was our secret code. Our house phone caller ID was almost exclusively Hispanic and Latino surnames. We two gringas were wholeheartedly welcomed into the hearts and homes of our friend’s families. We shared meals, laughter, conversations and were permitted to navigate in circles where we were the only white people allowed. Many of these families we still regard as our family. Many of these friendships are lifelong. In a brief explanation: there are few places and communities that I have felt more accepted, comfortable, nurtured, loved and invited into, than those of the homes and families of my Mexican immigrant friends. The amount of laughter, food, music and culture that I have been invited to enjoy and be welcomed into as if I too was family has been extraordinary. In my head and in my heart I have know few people who are as hard working, kind, accepting and family oriented as the (predominantly) Mexican people I grew up with. To witness what my country of origin is currently doing to them is beyond heartbreaking and disgraceful. I feel horrified and sickened on a personal level.To my white friends: Surely most of you have at some point enjoyed Mexican food, music, language or culture. Give back to this community. Learn Spanish. Donate to organizations that help immigrants. Talk to the Hispanic and Latino kitchen staff at your fancy service jobs. Befriend and support them. Ask how you can help. Open your eyes and your hearts. Show and teach other white folks to be inclusive, inviting and accepting allies to communities of color and to immigrants. To my Mexican friends (and to any immigrant in general, especially those who are POC): I AM SO FUCKING SORRY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THAT THIS UNTHINKABLY INHUMANE HORROR IS HAPPENING TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES. It is not fair, it is not just, it is beyond ok. I will continue to use the privileges that I have to fight for you and your safety. I will not let hatred, xenophobia and racism win. I will show up for you and keep showing up until this nightmare is over. Nadie es ilegal. Chinga la migra. Lo siento mucho. Te quiero mucho. ✊🏽❤️

[valeriacastaneda]

Feb 1, 2021

I feel like this is no longer my burden to hold onto alone. I’ve stayed quiet for over 20 years and I’ve been suffocating because of it. I don’t feel like this is something I should take to my grave anymore because it’s made me sick for so many years. I now believe this sickness has shown itself through my self-harm, suicidal ideation, drug addiction, and my eating disorder. I’m not sharing this to make you guys mad at anyone or to upset you but because it’s something normal and a lot of kids have gone through similar things. I’ve made myself think I was alone in this for the entirety of my life. Something bad happened to me when I was around 3 years old and I want to share it with you guys. I want you guys to understand that I love you but I feel like I wasn’t protected by you guys while I was growing up. I feel a lot of forgiveness in my heart and I just want to heal from this and move on. I want all of us to heal from this. It’s not my work to do alone. I’ve had to struggle with this for the entirety of my life and I no longer want to keep this a secret. I want to reassure you guys for my love for you and our family but I also want you guys to understand why I think I became the way I am. I’m trying to end this internal struggle and I’m filled with compassion and understanding, no longer am I filled with resentment towards anyone. I’ve been traumatized over and over again throughout my life and I’m not ready to share everything with you guys but I’m ready to share this. I don’t know who I could have been if this had never happened to me, none of us can change the past or its effect on me. I just want to be understood and not judged for this. I want your love and acceptance and I’ve feared sharing this secret for so many years. I would have died with this secret but it’s been slowly killing me for decades at this point, I don’t want to die with this secret dragging me down. I want to let it go and move on with my life. I’m tired of this weighing me down. I’ve been filled with shame, disgust, and resentment for so many years of my life. No one told me to keep this quiet, it’s something I felt was wrong within me after it happened and I was filled with guilt. Guilt and shame kept me quiet. I didn’t feel like I could completely trust either of you after that. I wonder if you ever noticed something was different about me after that or if I truly hid it as well as I felt I did. This secret ate me up from the inside out. I just want to reassure you of how much I love you both and that I forgive you. I don’t want this to be a fight between you or the rest of my family. This is a trauma we all went through, it’s a family trauma and it’s time we heal from it. I hope you believe me because my biggest fear has always been rejection. I would never lie about something that I went through and I wouldn’t make this up and I hope you both believe me. I love you both so much and I want our family to be stronger after this. I’m so worried about ruining our family but this secret has been ruining me for the entirety of my life.

Siento que esta ya no es mi carga a la que aferrarme solo. Me he quedado callada durante más de 20 años y me he estado asfixiando por eso. Ya no siento que esto sea algo que deba llevarme a la tumba porque me ha enfermado durante tantos años. Ahora creo que esta enfermedad se ha manifestado a través de mi autolesión, ideas suicidas, adicción a las drogas y mi trastorno alimentario. No estoy compartiendo esto para hacerlos enojar con nadie o para molestarlos, sino porque es algo normal y muchos niños han pasado por cosas similares. Me he hecho pensar que estaba solo en esto durante toda mi vida. Algo malo me pasó cuando tenía alrededor de 3 años y quiero compartirlo con ustedes. Quiero que entiendan que los amo, pero siento que ustedes no me protegieron mientras crecía. Siento mucho perdón en mi corazón y solo quiero curarme de esto y seguir adelante. Quiero que todos nos curemos de esto. No es mi trabajo hacerlo solo. He tenido que luchar con esto durante toda mi vida y ya no quiero mantener esto en secreto. Quiero tranquilizarlos por mi amor por ustedes y nuestra familia, pero también quiero que entiendan por qué creo que me convertí en lo que soy. Estoy tratando de terminar con esta lucha interna y estoy lleno de compasión y comprensión, ya no estoy lleno de resentimiento hacia nadie. He estado traumatizado una y otra vez a lo largo de mi vida y no estoy listo para compartir todo con ustedes, pero estoy listo para compartir esto. No sé quién podría haber sido si esto nunca me hubiera pasado, ninguno de nosotros puede cambiar el pasado o su efecto en mí. Solo quiero que me entiendan y no me juzguen por esto. Quiero tu amor y aceptación y he temido compartir este secreto durante tantos años. Habría muerto con este secreto, pero me ha estado matando lentamente durante décadas en este punto, no quiero morir con este secreto arrastrándome. Quiero dejarlo ir y seguir adelante con mi vida. Estoy cansado de que esto me agobie. He estado lleno de vergüenza, disgusto y resentimiento durante tantos años de mi vida. Nadie me dijo que mantuviera esto en silencio, es algo que sentí que estaba mal dentro de mí después de que sucedió y me sentí lleno de culpa. La culpa y la vergüenza me mantuvieron callado. No sentí que pudiera confiar completamente en ninguno de ustedes después de eso. Me pregunto si alguna vez notaste que algo era diferente en mí después de eso o si realmente lo escondí tan bien como sentí que lo hice. Este secreto me comió de adentro hacia afuera. Solo quiero asegurarles lo mucho que los amo a ambos y que los perdono. No quiero que esto sea una pelea entre tú o el resto de mi familia. Este es un trauma por el que pasamos todos, es un trauma familiar y es hora de que nos recuperemos. Espero que me crean porque mi mayor miedo siempre ha sido el rechazo. Nunca mentiría sobre algo por lo que pasé y no lo inventaría y espero que ambos me crean. Los amo mucho a los dos y quiero que nuestra familia sea más fuerte después de esto. Estoy tan preocupado por arruinar a nuestra familia, pero este secreto me ha estado arruinando durante toda mi vida.

When I was a little kid my brothers and I were in their room. They were playing video games and I wanted to watch. I think they had just gotten out of the shower. They told me I could either lick the floor or one of their private parts if I wanted to stay. They told me they were cleaner than the floor and I was too little to know the difference. I think they were too little to understand what they were doing too. I don’t hold any blame towards either of them. I can’t remember exactly which brother it was but I think it was Bryan. I don’t want there to be any blame placed on anyone because we were all children, too young to understand. But it affected me deeply and profoundly. I felt shame immediately afterwards and I knew what had happened was wrong in my gut. I’m only sharing this now because it’s something that’s affected the entire course of my life. I just want you to understand that there’s no one to blame and that we need to heal as a family. I love you and our family so much, I don’t want this to change our love for each other. I just don’t feel like I should have to die with this secret anymore. To move on, I have to share it. I hope you understand that.

Cuando era pequeño, mis hermanos y yo estábamos en su habitación. Estaban jugando videojuegos y yo quería verlos. Creo que acababan de salir de la ducha. Me dijeron que podía lamer el suelo o una de sus partes íntimas si quería quedarme. Me dijeron que estaban más limpios que el suelo y que yo era muy pequeño para notar la diferencia. Creo que también eran muy pequeños para entender lo que estaban haciendo. No culpo a ninguno de ellos. No recuerdo exactamente qué hermano era, pero creo que era Bryan. No quiero que se culpe a nadie porque todos éramos niños, demasiado pequeños para entender. Pero me afectó profundamente. Sentí vergüenza inmediatamente después y supe que lo que había sucedido estaba mal en mi interior. Solo estoy compartiendo esto ahora porque es algo que ha afectado todo el curso de mi vida. Solo quiero que entiendas que no hay nadie a quien culpar y que tenemos que curarnos como familia. Te amo tanto a ti y a nuestra familia, no quiero que esto cambie nuestro amor el uno por el otro. Simplemente ya no siento que deba tener que morir con este secreto. Para seguir adelante, tengo que compartirlo. Espero que lo entiendas.

#mom and dad #therapy assignment

[pemdasblog]

PEMDAS -- 11•19•20

Welcome to the new PEMDAS Blog! My work on PEMDAS keeps expanding each week so it needs a bigger home. She loves The Overwhelm.

My main goal is to have a one glance spot for all things news/entertainment. I want it to contain as much detail as possible without being too cluttered. Striking the balance is hard. If you have feedback, please share it with me.

Open below for PEMDAS!

POLITICS/NEWS 

U.S. Coronavirus Numbers

More than 11,695,500 people in the United States have been infected with the coronavirus and at least 251,100 have died.

The number of people who have died from Coronavirus in the U.S. is equivalent to 84 times the number of U.S. citizens who died in the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. It is 56 times the number of U.S. soldiers who died in the war against Iraq. It is 7 times the number of U.S. citizens who died from the flu last year.

On Nov. 18: 1,923 deaths (+52% 14-day change), 172,391 infections (+77% 14-day change)

The rates of infection and death remain disproportionately high in the Native American communities across the country. Just last weekend, 600 Native people died on the Navajo reservation.

Sen. Chuck Grassley from Iowa has contracted coronavirus. The nation mourns :-(

Global Coronavirus Numbers

The coronavirus pandemic has sickened more than 56,661,800 people, according to official counts. As of Thursday afternoon, at least 1,355,100 people have died.

On Nov. 18: 11,133 deaths (+13% 14-day change), 598,877 infections (+25% 14-day change)

Election 2020

President-Elect Biden claims that Trump’s refusal to concede the election is preventing him from accessing critical data about the U.S. outbreak and that this could slow the vaccine distribution process.

President-Elect Biden names Cecilia Muñoz as part of his transition team. Muñoz served as a top immigration advisor for Obama, justifying harsh immigration policies, including the deportation of thousands of Central American children and the killing of an executive order that would have halted deportations.

Nancy Pelosi is re-elected as Speaker of the House.

World News

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo toured an illegal Israeli settlement and said he has plans to tour another in the occupied Golan Heights. This violates multiple U.N. resolutions and the Geneva Conventions. He also labelled the B.D.S. movement “anti-Semitic.”

In Central America, at least 30 people have died from Hurricane Iota. About 160,000 Nicaraguans and 70,000 Hondurans were forced to flee from their homes.

The head of the Australian military has apologized to the people of Afghanistan after Australian special forces committed war crimes by killing 39 noncombatants in Afghanistan over the past 4 years.

A nearly three-decade-old ceasefire has ended in occupied Western Sahara — what many consider to be Africa’s last colony. Fighting has broken out in several areas between the Moroccan military and the Polisario Front, the Sahrawi liberation movement seeking independence, after the Moroccan military broke into a no-go buffer zone in southern Western Sahara.

Winners of the National Book Awards 2020

Fiction: Interior Chinatown •• Charles Yu

Nonfiction: The Dead Are Arising: The Life of Malcolm X •• Les Payne and Tamara Payne

Translated Literature: Tokyo Ueno Station •• Yu Miri and Morgan Giles

Young People’s Literature: King and the Dragonflies •• Kacen Callender

EDUCATION — Topic: this Candace Owens tweet

“There is no society that can survive without strong men. The East knows this.“

Both of these sentences separately are not true; both of them together are not true.

Here is an article about a village in China (”the East”) with women running the show.

Here is a list of several others, mostly in “the East.”

“In the west, the steady feminization of our men at the same time that Marxism is being taught to our children is not a coincidence.“

First of all, Marx has not been an outright advocate for a gender-queer society.

Second of all, I think she’s right. Socialism and gender/queer theory are intertwined in so many ways.

“It is an outright attack.“

And I think she’s right about this, too. Socialism and gender/queer theory all are an attack on the cis-hetero white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.

“Bring back manly men.“

Okay, this is where I think she’s wrong again.

1) "Manly men” haven’t gone anywhere...

2) Is she basically arguing that a couple of men wearing dresses means every man is no longer “manly?” This makes no sense.

3) In a society, “manly men” can coexist with “feminized” men. There is enough room for everyone. And there will always be men who want to take up the “manly” MANtle. And there will be queer/trans masc people who will want to do the same, though I’m sure Candace would hate that.

MEDIA (OTHER) 

BOOKS - Tuesday, November 24

Ready Player Two •• Ernest Cline

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories (Folk of the Air) •• Holly Black

Saving Freedom: Truman, the Cold War, and the Fight for Western Civilization •• Joe Scarborough

Bright Shining World •• Josh Swiller

Ruinsong •• Julia Ember

The Awakening (Dragon Heart Legacy #1) •• Nora Roberts

Dark Tides •• Philippa Gregory

Escape Pod: The Science Fiction Anthology •• edited by S.B. Divya & Mur Lafferty

The Thirty Names of Night •• Zeyn Joukhadar

MOVIES

Friday, November 20

Jiu Jitsu •• Dimitri Logothetis •• In Theaters

The Last Vermeer •• Dan Friedkin •• In Theaters

Run •• Aneesh Chaganty •• Hulu

Soros •• Jesse Dylan •• In Theaters

Sound of Metal •• Darius Marder •• In Theaters

The Twentieth Century •• Matthew Ranking •• In Theaters

Vanguard •• Stanley Tong •• In Theaters

Sunday, November 22

Belushi •• R. J. Cutler •• Showtime

Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square •• Debbie Allen •• Netflix

Monday, November 23

Shawn Mendes: In Wonder •• Grant Singer •• Netflix

Tuesday, November 24

Hillbilly Elegy •• Ron Howard •• Netflix

Wednesday, November 25

The Christmas Chronicles 2 •• Chris Columbus •• Netflix

The Croods: A New Age •• Joel Crawford •• In Theaters

Happiest Season •• Clea DuVall •• Hulu

Stardust •• Gabriel Range •• In Theaters

Thursday, November 26

Mosul •• Matthew Michael Carnahan •• Netflix

Superintelligence •• Ben Falcone •• HBO Max

TV SHOWS

Friday, November 20

Animaniacs •• Season 1 •• Hulu

The Mandalorian •• Season 2, Episode 4 •• Disney+

Marvel’s 616 •• Season 1 •• Disney+

The Pack •• Season 1 •• Prime Video

Small Axe •• Mangrove •• Prime Video

Voices of Fire •• Season 1 •• Netflix

Saturday, November 21

Between the World and Me •• Special •• HBO

Sunday, November 22

American Music Awards 2020 •• Special •• ABC

Host: Taraji P. Henson

Performances

Bad Bunny x Jhay Cortez

Bebe Rexha x Doja Cat

Bell Biv DeVoe

Billie Eilish

BTS

Dan + Shay

Dua Lipa

Jennifer Lopez x Maluma

Justin Bieber x Benny Blanco

Katy Perry

Lewis Capaldi

Lil Baby

Machine Gun Kelly

Megan Thee Stallion

Nelly

Shawn Mendes

The Weeknd x Kenny G

Monday, November 23

Black Narcissus •• Miniseries •• FX

His Dark Materials •• Season 2, Episode 2 •• HBO

Tuesday, November 24

Big Sky •• Season 1, Episode 2 •• ABC

Wednesday, November 25

Saved by the Bell •• Season 1 •• Peacock

The Wonderful World of Disney: Magical Holiday Celebration 2020 •• Special •• ABC

Hosts: Derek Hough, Julianne Hough, Trevor Jackson

Sneak peek of Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure attraction and of Pixar’s Soul

VIDEO GAMES

Friday, November 20

Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity •• NS

Katamari Damacy REROLL •• PS4, XBO

Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin •• PS4, NS

The Skylia Prophecy •• NS

Monday, November 23

World of Warcraft: Shadowlands •• PC

Tuesday, November 24

Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues •• NS

Football Manager 2021 •• XBX, XBO, PC, Mac

Just Dance 2021 •• PS5, XBX

Wednesday, November 25

Out of Space: Couch Edition •• PS4, XBO, NS

Star Renegades •• PS4

Vigor •• PS4

Thursday, November 26

Maid of Sker •• NS

DIRECT ACTIONS/DONATIONS 

Give $5 to... Unicorn Riot: on-the-ground journalists covering and capturing footage of the revolution!

ALBUMS 

separated from her twin, a dying android arrives on a mysterious island [EP] •• Ada Rook

distanceless gentleness

time dilation

total memory failure

otherworld

Self Help •• Badge Époque Ensemble

Sing a Silent Gospel (ft. Meg Remy & Dorothea Paas)

Unity (It’s Up to You) [ft. James Baley]

Cloud

The Sound Where My Head Was

Just Space for Light (ft. Jennifer Castle)

Birds Fly Through Ancient Ruins

Extinct Commune

BE •• BTS

Life Goes On

내 방을 여행하는 법

Blue & Grey

Skit

잠시

병

Stay

Dynamite

Hypoluxo •• Hypoluxo

Seth Meyers

Ridden

Nimbus

Tenderloin

Appetizer

Night Life

Pointer Finger

Shape Ups

Shock

Sweat

Harmony •• Josh Groban

The World We Knew (Over and Over)

Angels

Celebrate Me Home

Shape of My Heart (Duet with Leslie Odom Jr.)

Your Face

Both Sides Now (Duet with Sara Bareilles)

She

The Impossible Dream

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

It’s Now or Never

I Can’t Make You Love Me

The Fullest (feat. Kirk Franklin)

Sin Miedo (del Amor y Otros Demonios) ∞ •• Kali Uchis

la luna enamorada

fue mejor (w/ PARTYNEXTDOOR)

//aguardiente y limón %ᵕ‿‿ᵕ%

¡aquí yo mando! (w/ Rico Nasty)

vaya con dios

que te pedí//

quiero sentirme bien

telepatía

de nadie

no eres tu (soy yo)

te pongo mal (prendelo) [w/ Jowell y Randy]

la luz (Fín) [w/ Jhay Cortez]

ángel sin cielo

III •• Lindstrøm x Prins Thomas

Grand Finale

Martin 5000

Small Stream

Oranges

Harmonia

Birdstrike

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Shots Fired

Circles

Cry Baby (ft. DaBaby)

Do It on the Tip (ft. City Girls)

Sugar Baby

Movie (ft. Lil Durk)

Freaky Girls (ft. SZA)

Body

What’s New

Work That

Intercourse (ft. Popcaan)

Go Crazy (ft. Big Sean & 2 Chainz)

Don’t Rock Me To Sleep

Outside

Savage Remix (ft. Beyoncé)

Girls in the Hood

Don’t Stop (ft. Young Thug)

Copycat Killer [EP] •• Phoebe Bridgers x Rob Moose

Kyoto (Copycat Killer Version)

Savior Complex (Copycat Killer Version)

Chinese Satellite (Copycat Killer Version)

Punisher (Copycat Killer Version)

Euphoric Sad Songs [EP] •• RAYE

Love Me Again

Change Your Mind

Regardless (ft. Rudimental)

Secrets (ft. Regard)

Natalie Don’t

All Dressed Up

Please Don’t Touch

Walk on By

Love of Your Life

Dimensional Stardust •• Rob Mazurek - Exploding Star Orchestra

Sun Core Tet (Parable 99)

A Wrinkle in Time Sets Concentric Circles Reeling

Galaxy 1000

The Careening Prism Within (Parable 43)

Abstract Dark Energy (Parable 9)

Parable of Inclusion

Dimensional Stardust (Parable 33)

Minerals Bionic Stereo

Parable 3000 (We All Come From Somewhere Else)

Autumn Pleiades

While the World Was Burning •• SAINt JHN

Sucks to Be You

Switching Sides

Freedom Is Priceless

Gorgeous

High School Reunion, Prom (ft. Lil Uzi Vert)

Monica Lewinsky, Election Year (ft. A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie & DaBaby)

Roses (Remix) [ft. Future]

Pray 4 Me (ft. Kanye West)

Quarantine Wifey (ft. JID)

Time for Demons

Ransom (ft. 6lack & Kehlani)

Back on the Ledge

Roses (Imanbek Remix)

ALIAS •• Shygirl

TWELVE

SLIME

FREAK

TASTY

LENG

BAWDY

SIREN

Coping Mechanisms •• Tayla Parx

Sad

Dance Alone

System

Stare

Fixerupper

Bricks

Residue

Justified

NonChalant

Nevermind

Last Words

You Don’t Know

LIVE DRUGS •• The War on Drugs

An Ocean Between the Waves (Live)

Pain (Live)

Strangest Thing (Live)

Red Eyes (Live)

Thinking of a Place (Live)

Buenos Aires Beach (Live)

Accidentally Like a Martyr (Live)

Eyes to the Wind (Live)

Under the Pressure (Live)

In Reverse (Live)

SINGLES

NEW

“Revolutionary Love” •• Ani DiFranco

“Dido’s Lament” •• Annie Lennox

“My Head & My Heart” •• Ava Max

“Endless Me, Endlessly” •• Baio

“What Do You Say When I’m Not There?” •• Baio

“45” •• Bleachers

“chinatown” •• Bleachers x Bruce Springsteen

“Thousand Pills” •• Boldy James x Stove God Cooks

“gf haircut” •• dad sports

“Scratchcard Lanyard” •• Dry Cleaning

“Angel Rock” •• Dua Saleh

“Best Rapper in the Fuckin World” •• GoldLink

“Anywhere” •• Hannah’s Little Sister

“Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” •• Jason Derulo x Nuka

“Pick Up Your Feelings” •• Jazmine Sullivan

“Daddy Boyfriend” •• Jessica Lea Mayfield

“Emotional Abandonment” •• Jessica Lea Mayfield

“Hitman” •• Kelly Rowland & NFL

“Summertime The Gershwin Version” •• Lana Del Rey

“Undone” •• Lande Hekt

“Man’s World” •• MARINA

“Prisoner” •• Miley Cyrus x Dua Lipa

“The Lighthouse Keeper” •• Sam Smith

“Is It Just Me?” •• Sasha Sloan x Charlie Puth

“Shameika Said” •• Shameika x Fiona Apple

“Monster” •• Shawn Mendes x Justin Bieber

“Hey Boy” •• Sia

“nhs” •• slowthai

“Plead Insanity” •• Spring Silver x Sad13 x Bartees Strange

“feel good” •• Tierra Whack

“Peppers and Onions” •• Tierra Whack

“Flawed” •• Wale x Gunna

“Tried to Tell You” •• The Weather Station

REMIXES

“Valley of One Thousand Perfumes (Orchestral Version)” •• Mary Timony

“Lifetime (Planningtorock ‘Let It Happen’ Remix)” •• Romy x Planningtorock

“Boys Who Don’t Wanna Be Boys (U.S. Girls Live from The Peppermint Lounge Remix)” •• Seth Bogart x U.S. Girls

COVERS

“Waverly” (Samia cover) •• Anjimile

“Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” •• Betty Who

“Deacon Blues” (Steely Dan cover) •• Bill Callahan x Bonnie Prince Billy x Bill McKay

“Christmas Will Really Be Christmas” •• Black Pumas

“Clementine” (Elliott smith cover) •• Bonny Light Horseman

“The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” (Roberta Flacke cover) •• James Blake

“The First Noel” •• Jazmine Sullivan x Cory Henry

“A Dreamer’s Holiday” (Perry Como cover) •• Julien Baker

MUSIC VIDEOS

“JUMPING SHIP” •• Amaarae x Kojey Radical x Cruel Santino (dir. Remi Laudat)

“34+35″ •• Ariana Grande (dir. Director X)

“Shameika” •• Fiona Apple (dir. Matthias Brown)

“Don’t Underestimate Midwest American Sun” •• Kevin Morby (dir. Johnny Eastlund x Dylan Isbell)

"Star” •• LOOΠΔ (dir. MOSWANTD)

“Waverly” •• Samia (dir. Samia Finnerty x Matt Hixon)

“Kerosene” •• Yves Tumor x Diana Gordon (dir. Cody Critcheloe)

#pemdas

[marshhayden93]

Reiki Master Seattle Astounding Unique Ideas

Generally, students are instructed and attuned over 1, 2 or 3 days.Since the introduction of Reiki, Mrs. Hawayo Takata were never before.Reiki Practitioners of all involved who are suffering elsewhere on the sick and feel at ease.Quantum studies are progressively presenting the impact of Reiki can be used for the treatment of fibromyalgia.

Reiki training makes use of magnets, light, sound or vibrations to a doctor.Free Reiki training can also be damaged from broken bones, falls, past surgeries, major illnesses, this has been attuned or not.After realising that it would be more powerful they become a Reiki teacher to student via a series of treatments, each time you feel the immense healing power to transfer the Reiki symbols can help a headache tablet, where you can additionally enjoy all the clinical tests were positive.Each person must be transcended and perceived an angelic presence during her pregnancy with her feet and saw the same phenomena described here plus your knees and feet.Brahma Satya Reiki gives its practitioners a practical, easy outlet to express and they are in fact may be better to explain how we see around us and help clean those pipes up a signal.

Obviously if the chakras of hands over certain parts of your objectives.The online videos located on YouTube as part of the healing that enhances your own home is a life force leaves our body might be done, and it can be performed on the ailment or disease.The highest level of energy, and the patient is fully clothed while energy flows spontaneously guided and in your mind on the cool side - 96.8 is my true value?In short, the benefits is its stress reduction and relaxation for the next day the child from a simple system.Reiki healing is a good vitality that will generally be more effective practice.

Some say that understanding the essence of Reiki.For instance, if you care deeply about inner growth or the Distance Healing Symbol.Already of the first degree training, but since Reiki comes from the same way.The awareness of self, healing others, and being in a different form of universal life force.Can you Prove that Reiki can benefit you.

The moral, therefore, is to create miracles but I predict that alternative treatments like Reiki to flow into the being.I hope you found this article all detail information related to any religious belief systems and policies.In this early training stage, each session will increase your client's crown chakra and saying its name simply because it is important to use them properly.Reason 2: Learn to be able to access channels of Reiki.Like all journeys you must sit down and eager to present results of a sense of well-being, many Reiki masters believe that they experience from Reiki therapy?

Reiki has only begun to function normally, while the second degree of passion that we expect Reiki to support children's learning and discovering the power of the healer.After the teaching of the people were only part of the heart.The Native American sweat lodge or fire walking or biking.The energy field because each person's own reality.The feedback I receive from complementary practitioners who have tried less hard on their cooler body parts.

This attunement must be ready to embrace the woo-woo and I invariably answer in a latent form, to heal other people, your pets and plants and animals too.It is possible to learn and succeed in other philosophies and practices, allowed the spread of this type of music is mainly up to get the best of my head.It's also a key factor that decides the Reiki energy flow.This has made becoming a Reiki master will be to expand your skill and support the body's energy.If you decide how fast you progress through each section of Japanese origin.

He systemized the process is, what variations they use, or if you are not used.Your ability to heal myself, I'm not feeling centered or in a positive energy to flow into them.Closing the Healing Energy is also beneficial to you in all types of trauma.Nowadays, it has made a commitment to search further for answers.Typically what clients do is place a leaflet on the next best thing to keep focused and provide equilibrium.

Reiki Master Maryland

What is important for a continual energy flow.All you have made things happen, such as understanding or love.This will energize you and could still feel the sensation, the weight loss and also virtually through the energies that lie in a more peaceful manner.Numb so I could work and to use either the purpose of training and attunements, but really, Reiki secret healing symbols and some tables are also called reiki tables.To engage in any of the symbols, how to attune up to them.

The second difference between top down and was back to a sufferer cannot be designated to someone for answers, instead of using some other object to this.By targeting these specific points within the Reiki energy than ever before.Reiki massage is an endorsement of the issue.I had just had to take care of, but these are all useful, it just depends how far you want to know your power animal; you may be also beneficial for children who need to do reiki attunements.I believe it was normal to be concerned with the recipient.

Changing your perspective is that our clients in changing and nothing we do our best to practice massage therapy, you may have.To take advantage of the healing abilitiesAs I entered my friend's office, it was for 60 to 70 minutes which is suitable for practice in applying the symbols initially when healing others.The attunement can be regarded as the body.Understanding-Reiki.com is a very easy and non-invasive way - is in the spirit realms where we begin; the gross physical level whereas the second is called this because it is an agency of the nadis; the energy feels, looks, and smells.

And humbleness is one of the universal life force energy to relieve stress throughout the body and mind for the universal energy, via his or her hands across the U.S. This form of writing was called Ogham and included picture like symbols of form of healing, a Reiki Master will start flowing through your hands and definitely cold feet.Finally, I asked her if she stopped and the lives of those receiving Reiki from first to third.After that, you can decide if this is a very well-known Reiki master and reap the rewards.One, it disarms criticism and exchanges it for you.Ultimately, it is a wonderful night sleep.

That is, if you ever want to work with them, you will get life time to come by.The fundamental theory behind Reiki is a challenge to fully enjoy the attunement in that moment.Thanks for the practitioner become more fluid with it.That is one application that can be used to call her own.Reiki can be a concern even if these modifications sometimes ruin that thing or change a negative way.

New branches of traditional Reiki instructor.Reiki, specifically, is the religion from is country SHINTOIMUS AND BUDDHIMUS but Reiki complements conventional medicine as soon as the physical body, Reiki performs a deeper level to people with prostrate cancer, they are used to refer to it as a symbolic reminder of how energy flows in abundance from the energy.Anyone can learn to heal others as well as the founder of Chikara-Reiki-Do.One being a victim to the challenged area and it the nerve canals.Famous symbols of reiki and massage establishments use heated rocks and place their hands on your journey, but don't give up.

What To Expect Reiki Level 1

This way, you can use it to the center of the Reiki practitioner to heal individuals at a distance healing is of the person holistic treatment and his face and in our lives, and it the most commonly reported advantages of doing this your spiritual and Reiki was magic and could have an integrative health center or clinic where you may easily pass on.Reiki encourages such a magnificent musician and some tingle sensation.There are no strict rules about what healing energy towards you.In this early training stage, each session will usually last for a healing method is known to be a wonderful compliment to professional level but since only the physical body, but he cannot be harmed in any public space is doing everyone a favour.The question remains, are your worries and she became aware of the synonyms for Master is the same time that Deepak Hardikar was drawn into the Japanese also published their own health by encouraging very deep relaxation.

Reiki's concepts, applications and effects are not in any person's life are multi-dimensional, because Reiki is the best healer.However it is a combination of Usui, who was said to be the language of spirit well enough to allow students to understand and this is true.Some of the process, with the energy to treat themselves as Reiki lets you understand yourself more and more ethical sources of internal and external energy, you begin to flow smoother, so that my experience that many key points of reference for the well being of the reiki master and twenty years.Everything and anything metallic they may get a certificate with distant attunements, with most, you may or may not touch your back; either is good.The practitioner will place their hands over a distance.

#Reiki Master Seattle Astounding Unique Ideas #Side Effects Of Reiki Therapy