youwontlikethisblog

[youwontlikethisblog]

This re-write is proving two things: I am an imperfect writer who also hits creative walls that don't always mean I'm going through writers block, simply, stuck on how to re-write a scene in a more effective and better way and two, that I'm starting to remember why I fell in love with writing.

#just aiden #writing #writers

[youwontlikethisblog]

as a person living in the US, yes, it's really hard to access it.

this world needs more betty la fea fans

[youwontlikethisblog]

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

[youwontlikethisblog]

Just Aiden- An Introduction

Hi!

I've been hesitant to make a post about the book because I'm so scared I'll do it wrong. You know, I read all these post about how to have a social media presence as a writer and how you have to have this niche and blah blah blah, and I think to myself "What is my niche? How will I make these post to promote my writing and engage future readers?" and the reality is I often feel like my goals don't align with others so I fear making a fool out of myself but I'm currently re-writing Just Aiden, yes, the book I thought I was done writing and sent out to an editor/agent who ghosted me when I wasn't liking the book cover ideas they had sent me, amazing, right?

Truth be told, after about a year of being away from that "Would've been final version" edit, I'm so glad the editor ghosted me lol. It wasn't all that great. I focused too much on the character rather than the story itself and while my writing style is heavily character based, characters still have stories to tell.

I had a lot of reflecting on my writing and realizations of what I want as a writer during that year break that I feel more confident in my ability to write, judge, and know when to stop and all though I think I'll never be satisfied with the end result as I am so detail oriented, I can be content with whatever version I finally decide to publish.

Just Aiden is the story of a girl who didn't have the best upbringing and I know a lot of us are tired of reading stories about wounded and traumatized main characters and would really rather read a book of someone who has always seemingly not dealt with trauma; I wanted to have a go at the traumatized main character.

Has it been fun? Yes and No. Sometimes I wish I had a brick wall in front of me so I could slam my head against it.

Aiden Kyles was born out of my disdain of Main Characters with pale skin, auburn/blonde/bright red haired girls that burn at just the whisper of the sun, who are beautiful and skinny and don't know it, yet have every guy fawning over them. Of guys who are abusive, assault, and even at times r*pe the MC is an act of jealousy and show her just how much they love them because love makes them act crazy and being told that's okay because he cried and apologized and how secretly MC liked it.

Did I mention I have an infinite disdain and hatred filled relationship with this formula in writing?

God! The amount of books I read as a teen with characters just as those two mentioned above were too much! So many different authors, universes, names, cities, and characters and each single one was exactly the same. No matter the Genre I was reading, The MC was beautiful and she didn't know it, hell even if she was strong and fierce, she didn't know it, and even if she was confident and knew her worth, she still didn't know it. Always being told she was kind, selfless, warm, and special and yet all her actions always painted her in this selfish arrogant way while I was being force fed the idea she wasn't that at all.

My Aiden is confident, she knows how beautiful she is that it's as if her own beauty was a separate character. She's sharp and witty, manipulative, mean, arrogant, really only thinks about messing with people out of boredom and doesn't care for anyone but her best friend, who follows the classic Female Main Character formula, Roxanna.

Their duo works as an Anti-Hero and Hero type of friendship. You know, like Armando and Calderon type of beat, except instead of Betty and Armando telling the story it's Calderon telling it.

If you want to know more about this world I've created, stick along. I'll try to make updates about it at least once a week!

'Til next time :)

#writing #just aiden #WIP

[youwontlikethisblog]

For My YSBLF Followers

Hi, I feel the need to apologize to all of you for not making any more posts about the show. I don't think I will for a long time, though I'm tempted to watch it but just for fun. Maybe one episode will inspire me to but life as of late has been busy, in a good way.

My name is Grace, well, my pen name that is. I started this blog to write random vents and rants about life and writing when I can't sleep. I'd like to actually show y'all my own writing. I have an IG if anyone would like to ask for it lol and check out some of my more pretty and poetic writing.

I'm an extremely private person. Ironically I overshare though. I used to be really good at being cold hearted and indifferent about things but ever since I turned 25 I had this rude awakening in life and it's like I became so painfully self-aware that all I do is feel and care. Do any of you feel like that?

I know that for a while I kept saying there was some fun updates on my book but...the fun is over and the update is that there is no update.

Would any of you be okay with me posting about the book? You know, to get to know the characters, maybe you have questions about writing and such. Let me know :)

and if not, thank you for sticking along for the ride. You can unfollow now if you'd like, no hard feelings. Thank you for reading the posts, liking them, reposting them, and your feedback. It was fun!

'Til next time :)

[youwontlikethisblog]

i know that the point of armando almost beating nicolas to a pulp is to call back to when he fought the neighborhood bullies for disrespecting betty and how he didnt understand why he had that reaction vs him finally admitting that yes, he’s jealous and that this jealousy is in fact killing him\making him crazy and i know--i know–i recognize that his behavior is…not good…toxic if you will, and yet…when he says off screen ‘usted es mi mujer’…

betty was unable to focus on that bc armando was too busy acting like a lifetime villain. had he not hid all his frustration behind them buying the car with the terramoda funds, maybe she would have half heartedly believed that his jealousy was actually about her. 

[youwontlikethisblog]

@yulia-k-blog

Hi! Thank you for reading the posts. I always enjoy reading people's feedback. I'm glad you've enjoyed them. I made a recent post a couple months ago that was a Character Analysis. I've been busy with my own writing and life in general so I haven't had the chance to continue watching the second half of the novela but there's amazing blogs that also do analysis for the show! My personal favorite is @el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle :)

Once again, thank you for reading these posts ^.^

I Understand You Part 2

DISCLAIMER: Now I tried really hard here to edit this and make sure that it makes sense and that I didn't leave in any typos on the first half and second half, however I am a one man army and typos are ingrained into my being like you've never known(and can tell by all my posts at this point 😌) and on the second half I didn't really go through it with peine de piojo because I'm too excited for y'all to read this post so if you start noticing typos and such, forgive me.

You know how Betty has always told Armando "Lo entiendo." and Armando always interrupts and explains himself?

This night Armando finally understand just how true that statement has been and just how well Betty truthfully understands him.

The last post was a long one, one that took me three days to write, usually it takes me sitting down to write a post between 4-12 hours without a break. I get so engrossed into what I'm doing I completely forget I am human and then wonder why I'm so hungry and thirsty when I finish writing, hey self maybe it's because you just sat down for four to twelve hours to watch, re-watch one scene in particular and pause every few seconds to write for about twenty minutes before doing it all again. Self-care is not only face masks and a bottle of wine, sometimes it's taking a minute to stretch your legs.

Anyway let's jump into this!

After Armando "Explains" that Mario knows nothing, would never know of them, and that they can't go any other place because his apartment is out of the picture due to it being the first place Marcela would go looking for him he says: "If you want I'll take you to your house and we...end[the night] like this?" clearly here he is implying that they'll end the night con las ganas de hacer pecadores, smh.

In the first post I mentioned how Armando's main goal this night, after apologizing to Betty, was to spend it with her and get laid.

When Betty, reluctant, but as well wanting to spend this night with him, agrees to go to Mario's apartment, Armando tells her "you're so devine" once again runs his gaze over her body, lands on her lips, bites his lower lip, sucks in a quick breath, pulls her face and turns it towards him and leans in to kiss her(Cálmate carnal, tey quirisi). Obviously Betty returns the kiss and they go hot and heavy. When they both pull away Armando's face is just... if I could place a gif I would. I mean I could but(I won't bc I'm not skillful in that department in all honesty) where's the fun in the misery of me not providing any pictures? Only words?

Best way to discribe his expression is this: The same expression he had when he first saw Betty that morning, contentment, excitement, and pleasure all in a matter of a micro second so unless you're constantly rewinding, you wouldn't really pick it up. He lets out a deep breath and tries to act casual, like he isn't fangirling.

For a "comedic" effect I'll say this: Armando's thought process could be very similar to: "Ha! I'm getting laid! Betty forgives me, I'm getting laid! Betty and I are going to spend the night together! I'm getting laid! Tonight? I'm getting laid! Who will I get laid with? Betty! My devine Betty! because she wants to get laid too! We're getting laid!" you get my point right?

Armando is excited...ahmm.

Now to commence the breakdown in one, two, three.

I'm going to make this painfully miserable and slow, filled with so many words.

Armando and Betty arrive to Mario's apartment. He quickly parks the car and gets out of his car, quickly, walks around it to what seems that he wanted to open the door for Betty but Betty, since he's never done that before, is used to getting the door herself, so he eagerly waits for her. Once a timid and nervous Betty walks towards him he gently pushes her forward so they can walk, he takes a quick glance behind him and walks with fast pace, his hand on the small of Betty's back and tells her: Cálmate carnal, tey quirisi. Ha! okay I'll get serious now.

"Betty, relax., everything is going to be fine." He says so gently and reassuring.

However Betty isn't too excited or eager, in fact you can see how uncomfortable she is. She looks like she's holding her breath one inhale at a time.

They enter the apartment building's front lobby. Armando opens the door for her this time, Betty looks around the place, as Armando eagerly walks in front of her, towards the front desk where the doorman is.

Armando clears his throat, pulls his jacket forward, and acts like he'd never been there before when he asks the doorman for the keys to Mario's apartment, however this fails because the doorman talks to him casually, extending his hand to greet him and calls him by his name: Don Armando.

Betty stands behind Armando as Armando tells the doorman: Could you give me-

"Here, Don Mario left you the keys, Don Armando." He dangles them in the air with a teasing smile. With a nervous chuckle and smile Armando reaches to get them from his hand. Betty is still behind him, paying close attention to this interaction.

"Thank you."

"Please go on." Doorman smiles and points to the elevator with his hand. "Don Armando." he calls out for him just as Armando takes a few steps away from the front desk.

"Yes?" a nervous Armando replies.

"Will you both be here all night long or won't delay?" Armando, again nervous, embarrassed and eager, draws his lips into a line as he holds his breath for a second until he replies.

"We'll take a while."

"Okay because if you're going to be here all night long I can park your car. You know I always find a spot in the parking lot when you stay here." Armando lets out a breathy chuckle, fidgets with the key in hand and with a nervous smile repeats "yes." all the while Betty, again continues to closely watch him and this interaction.

He turns quickly to look at Betty and then at the doorman and leans in to murmur: "I don't think we'll take long." He steps towards the elevator again, he then returns to pull a frozen Betty towards the elevator.

It's clear to see that Armando is nervous here while Betty is uncomfortable and nervous as well. She doesn't move much, or go near him. She stands just close enough to hear the conversation between the doorman and Armando and see their behavior.

This is a drastic change to that of Betty's birthday night. When they got to the hotel Betty was glued to his side, Armando hardly touched her, walked quickly, spoke fast, tried to whisper and gave a false name at the reception of the hotel(it wasn't because of Marcela because he paid in cash so there wouldn't be any paper trail with the banks, an expert at having affairs(him not me)) his smiles were forced and he did look nervous as well, however he looked just like Betty does now. Uncomfortable(Read post Forgive Me if you haven't yet) and not wanting to be there.

While they're both nervous this night as well Armando's reason to be nervous isn't because of Betty or her physical appearance. How do I jump to this conclusion?

Let's start at the beginning of this scene.

He takes a quick glance behind him just to make sure Marcela isn't following them. He reaches out to her, guiding her towards the lobby. Once inside he walks towards the front desk and talks to the doorman like he barely knows him however he is interrupted by the doorman who talks to him like he has an apartment in the building and is comfortable talking to him, still holding his professionalism. This causes Armando to chuckle nervously and turn to quickly glance at Betty, who is watching them.

This implies that Armando is worried about the impression Betty has of him, i.e. he doesn't want her to dislike him and wants to impress her otherwise known as the common behavior everyone does when they like someone and want to attract them to be on their good side.

Again Armando attempts to act like he's rarely there but the doorman tells him: "I always find a parking spot when you stay here." which Betty reacts by jumping back, stretching her bottom lip, and staring at Armando with wide eyes. Armando chuckles nervously at this.

This alone is what draws the conclusion that Armando's nervousness isn't due to who he's with but rather the impression she'll get from being there.

Armando knows that Betty knows he has been a womanizer, a sleaze, a whore if you will. He's fully aware of this and though in the past, in the early dates, he wasn't shy to talk about the type of women he likes, that many of those women want with him, this time he's embarrassed of this and doesn't want Betty to know just how many times he's used Mario's apartment for a night of passion with a model and all the women he's brought to that apartment as well.

He tries to act like he's not a regular but the doorman sabotages this plan of his so he just wants to quickly take Betty up to the apartment so they can be together(remember he wants to get laid) but again the doorman gets in the way of that by asking if they'll take long, at this Armando tells him they will because for one it's his ego on the line here, he won't make it quick, homie is looking to make Betty feel his love too and two he wants to spend this night with Betty but then the doorman, again, tells him that he'll find him a spot, like always, like he does every time he spends the night over with one of his models, and again with a nervous chuckle he turns to Betty and then says they won't take long, being realistic that they won't spend the night in Mario's apartment.

You may argue that Armando is embarrassed that he's brought Betty to the apartment and that's why he's nervous but again if you compare his behavior to the night at the hotel to this it's easy to tell that he isn't embarrassed of Betty but rather his past affairs as well as the fact that Armando isn't shy to touch Betty, he grabs her by the waist and pulls her towards the door and stands close to her, yes he isn't making a public display of affection to her right here but again, it's different from the night at the hotel where he didn't even touch her and if Betty hadn't been glued to his side they wouldn't had had any physical contact until later.

How does this all make Betty feel? We know she feels uncomfortable, but why?

It isn't only because she's nervous Mario could find them and find out about their affair but because this apartment alone has been an apartment that's been used for meaningless sexual affairs by both Mario and Armando, but specially, that Armando has brought countless women to this apartment and she is one of those women, who has had an affair with a man in a relationship. So her guilt tugs at her conscious, her insecurities at her heart, her fears at her emotions.

When they get to the apartment Armando opens the door and welcomes her in. He walks in like Pancho por su casa while Betty lingers in the back, as if almost wanting to melt into the walls.

As Armando shuts the door after Betty, who stands by a wall and him, very timid, she places her hand over Armando's, who had it out to motion to the apartment, where he's holding the key to Mario's apartment and tells him: "You come over a lot, don't you sir?" she states, nervous, timid, and scared. Armando looks at her hand quickly.

"Eh of course! It's my best friend's apartment." he walks away from her to turn on the lights to the living room. Betty, with her hands behind her back, walking like a stranger in a strangers house, glances and walks around slowly, inspecting the place, which visually makes Armando nervous. "It's Mario Calderón's[apartment]. I have to come over, no?"

"Yes, of course. You come to visit him." She is now ahead of him, with her head, curiously looking around the place, slowly walking about it while Armando watches her, nervously. "You visit him alone, well not exactly alone." Betty chuckles nervously(as a writer it is making me want to rip out of my skin from how many times I've said nervous/ly in this post.)

Armando fidgets with the keychain he has in his hands and draws in a quick breath to answer her with the truth.

"Well yes I've been here with company, of course but it's been a long time since I've been here." He stares at the back of her head. Again this affirms that he is being honest to her.

"What time is Don Mario getting here?"

"He said he isn't coming over tonight, Beatriz."

"Mhm, duh, you both have your code[words]. I imagine that when you're here he can't come around." The music for this particular part of the scene is titled Uncertainty. Armando quickly decides not to answer that question, instead he places the key inside his pocket and walks towards the dinning room where the bar is and offers Betty a drink.

"Do you have blackberry juice?"

"Blackberry juice?" He looks confused, sets both glasses of whiskey and the glass bottle containing the whiskey down on the table and walks towards the kitchen while Betty stands under the doorway of the dinning room and living room. "Let me see what I can find. There's tangerine juice." He calls out from the kitchen.

"Yes, that's fine, sir."

Armando comes back and walks towards Betty with a glass filled with tangerine juice.

"Would you like it with a bit of vodka?"(He's paid attention to the kind of liquor Betty drinks).

"No that's fine, I don't want liquor, thank you." she takes the glass and Armando walks towards the table where he left the glasses and bottle.

"Well I am going to serve myself..." He turns to smile at Betty and then returns to look at what he's pouring. "a whiskey. However it of course is the first whiskey of the day...and the last one." They both take a brief sip from their respective drinks.

"May I borrow the phone? I have to call my dad, he must be worried."

"Yeye-yes of course. It's there." He points behind him, not turning to look at Betty. Betty turns to leave the doorway and venture into the living room while Armando places one hand on his hip and with the other brings the glass up to his mouth to drink.

I strongly believe that the topic of Armando's drinking habits during these episodes(when Betty asked him at the museum if he had been drinking and this mention of his that it's his first and last drink of the day and night) hold a huge significance, not towards Armando's borderline alcoholism(being a heavy drinker doesn't mean you're an alcoholic or even a binge drinker. I see a lot of people in this fandom call Armando an alcoholic and though he does drink pretty heavily, Alcoholism is a desease, one that needs professional intervention and since this show never really brings into light that what Armando does with alcohol is an issue on it's own but rather a bad habit he picked up to cope, I don't think it's appropriate to say he was an alcoholic, of course this doesn't mean we dismiss that he had a bad habit of drinking.) but more towards the symbolism that Alcohol has held in their relationship.

For instance the day that Armando finds out Betty has a boyfriend, while yes he did have more problems, the subject alone, kept him under a boulder and he even went on to name it his biggest problem that day and use it as an excuse to drink. The day after, he drank all day at the office, at the club they went to, and got so drunk he confessed his feelings and even though partially it was manipulative and partially coming from the heart, the kiss was not an act of hatred and "I gotta get this plan started." but rather the realization that he had kissed Betty, after she left, and the way he touched his lips afterwards means the kiss was something that deep within, he wanted to do. He was too drunk to really hold control over his own subconscious, again let me clarify that I am not talking about his outer actions but rather his subconscious. As the affair progress Armando continues to drink, out of guilt, out of "numbing" himself to the fact Betty is "ugly" and the problems with Eco Moda and what that all means. Drinking becomes second nature. Betty always order him a bottle of whiskey when they go out, on their first official date Betty joked about it being a beautifier and Armando got upset with her(the audacity) for saying that, telling her that she needed to respect herself and he always clarified he was just drinking because he was stressed out. The night of Betty's birthday Armando was drinking a lot more. He drank at the office, at the bar with Mario, at Betty's house, at the club they went to, and then at the hotel he had like two or three mini bottles. Betty too had been drinking.

Alcohol symbolism is a numbing agent of sorts. He feels like he needs to drink this to hush the guilt for what he's doing to Betty. He uses it to cope with the travesty he's going to cause her. Betty in a sense, and I'll talk about this further in a future post, as well is a symbol in Armando's life, well not her in particular but rather, Eco Moda. Eco Moda is something that Armando truly cares about. He cares about the people working there, his father's life work, what Eco Moda means. He really envisioned doing great things for and to Eco Moda and all of a sudden he brings it to ruin, however, somebody else, who begins to take on the same role, is there to save it, and just like with Eco Moda, Armando brings it to ruin, his drinking is slightly understandable and he uses this elixir of sorts to numb the guilt and hurt he feels.

However this night he doesn't want to be numb. He wants all five senses to be on alert.

Why is that?

Their first night Armando was drunk, so drunk that once again his subconscious spoke louder and before him. This night was the night he fully knew he was falling in love with Betty when she was being her most vulnerable that she had ever been in the relationship. When he wakes up later on, he asks himself "What did I do? What did I say?" however he still knows he enjoyed it from his recollection, as the next day when he speaks of this night he looks up as if recalling a happy memory(broke that down in another post as well "The After Math Of Their First Time) and he knows he wants to relive it again so this night, when the opportunity presents itself that he can once again get to live another night with Betty like he did that night, he wants to and without being numb. In some way it's this gesture of purity on his part, where he wants a do-over of sorts, where he isn't filled with prejudice, fear, guilt, and more guilt. This night he doesn't want nor need to numb himself because he is moved, he is fully aware of his physically attraction and desire for Betty that he wants to fully be in the moment and fully enjoy it. This is a huge contrast and parallel to Betty's b-day.

In Summary: Alcohol in their relationship is a symbolism for Armando's guilt and need to numb it.

Betty calls home. Blah blah blah Don Hermes reminds her que el diablo es puerco and blah blah blah as well as warns her to not go looking for another tragedy(it's important to note this part).

While Betty talks with her dad over the phone Armando stands behind her, under the doorway, watching her with the glass of whiskey to his lips. Take notice how slow he's drinking it. Unlike before when we see him down a glass in a matter of seconds and onto the next one, this time he takes small sips, savoring it which means he's drinking more for enjoyment and to calm his nerves rather than guilt or to get drunk, which is also important to take into account for this breakdown.

Finally the call with her dad is over and Betty apologizes to Armando and tries to explain.

Before I continue here lets consider what we've learned so far.

We've learned that Armando is eagerly desiring Betty that he feels embarrassed of his past, especially of the amount of women he's brought to Mario's apartment and the fact Betty is aware of that last thing makes him really nervous, in a way that he fears will make Betty reject him or make her feel unsafe, unsure with him this night. It goes hand in hand that he wants to spend this night with Betty and he doesn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, undesirable, and doesn't want to come off as too heavy because he doesn't want her to feel like, alike to the models, it's just physical(ironic ain't it?) or meaningless to him(that he only has one thing in mind or that he's sleeping with her because of what happened with AA).

We've also learned that Betty isn't only uncomfortable to be in Mario's apartment but that the fact Armando used it to bring his meaningless affairs to that apartment causes her to feel like she isn't as important, just another woman he's brought over, except with a wounded ego due to the days events, the fact she isn't like those women in regards of socially acceptable beauty, makes her feel uncomfortable.

Both Betty and Armando are experiencing nervousness again but not like the first time. This stems from fear of rejection and failing high expectations while before it was a fear of again, rejection and commitment(Armando committing to to accept he has a physical attraction to Betty.) Except while now Betty isn't as afraid that Armando will reject her, Armando is afraid that Betty will reject him because of his past with the models and this time Betty is afraid that she's just had her expectations too high and that it'll all come crashing down. She is in denial of their relationship, Armando's attraction, and feelings towards her based on the way he treated her at the office. She is now retrieving and trying to protect herself.

In this particular scene in a figurative and literal way Armando is in the hot seat and it's when he understands, finally, the depth of what Betty means when she tells him "I understand you.".

The way this scene is presented is Armando sitting for most of it with Betty standing, behind him, moving around while Armando takes in what she's saying. For the first half of the conversation they are both speaking, Armando stares at her when he talks and and for the latter half of the conversation it's Betty who speaks. Armando's demeanor changes. He no longer is nervous, but fearful. Betty's questions and her words bear into him in a chilling way, nothing like their first time in which Betty spoke, let him into her intimacy, allowed him to see just how willing she was to place his needs before her own needs and her embarrassment of having been too heavy that night in her efforts. This night the one that was too heavy on his efforts was Armando however Betty's words hold so much weight, a lot more than they did that night because even though her words moved Armando to fall in love, he was bearing a heavy and guilty conscious that night and though the guilt is ever present in Armando, this night Betty's word not only make him feel guilty but they basically sentence him and put him in the hot seat.

Armando is sitting down while Betty stands to his left behind him.

"How embarrassing, I had to tell my father that we were with Mario Calderón because he worries a lot. "

"You don't have to give me explanations, Beatriz. I know your father takes care of you a lot. There's no problem with that." he turns his face to stare at her while she looks away from him.

"Mm he takes care of me as if I were a beauty queen. " She chuckles and walks in front of Armando to the other side of the room, to stand in front of a book case while Armando's eyes follow her. "like if he had a super model for a daughter" she jokes. They both laugh nervously.

Armando stands up and walks to the other side of the room, across from her and sits on a chair and stares at Betty.

"Well in any case I think he has a daughter...that's very special. He's right in, well, in protecting you like he does, Beatriz."

[Side note: In this scene it is evident the use of Betty and Beatriz transition and the symbolism of it!]

Betty is now sitting on another chair, facing away from him and says "[That's] because you see me with different eyes. "

"No, no, no." he says as we now hear the music which is titled: intrigue. "Don't say that, Beatriz." he stands up and walks across the room to sit closer to her. "It's not like that. Remember what I've always said to you. That you're a woman that one has to-has to discover."

Armando's body language indicates he wants to comfort Betty and make her feel special, because to him, despite the fact she isn't "pretty", he still believes that Betty is special, both physically and spiritually.

We now get a frame of only Betty in the screen as she replies:

"Please, sir, don't strain yourself talking about my intelligence, my loyalty." the frame is now only on Armando, staring at Betty "or all the other qualities you mentioned the other night." back to a frame of Betty shaking her head and staring elsewhere. We hear Armando begin to stammer off camera until it's only him on screen again, staring at a sad Betty.

"Beatriz that isn't just some lie. It's a truth of the truth. To each their own and that's yours. " she returns to the frame, shakes her head all while looking frustrated and sad. She finally turns to stare at him and speaks.

"You know that due to those qualities, that specialty, Don Mario will know that I was here."

"N-no, one moment, that I don't get. Why?"

"Well because the doorman will tell him that you came with a woman, to his apartment, and he'll know it was me." She looks away from him.

We get a frame of Armando only on screen.

"Beatriz I know you didn't like the comments the doorman made when we got here. Yes? With all that that I always come over well accompanied and all of that." He beings to stammer: "To a certain point it can sound true but it's not because I haven't been here in a long time." cut to a frame of only Betty, pushing her glasses up, clearly experiencing a vast of emotions.. "Anyway, Beatriz, to the doorman you're just another woman." An annoyed Betty shakes her head.

"That's not true." She affirms. "You didn't enter with just another woman."

"No-no-no don't misinterpret me, Beatriz." he goes from having been a foot away to inches closer to Betty. "Don't misinterpret me. I didn't mean it like that. Of course you're a very-very special woman for me but for the doorman you're just another woman more."

"Exactly," a frustrated Betty turns to look at Armando. "That's why when Don Mario asks who-"

"No, no, no because Mario won't ask."

"We both know him, Sir-"

"Well-well yes but in any case the doorman doesn't know your name." Betty stands up and walks across the room, away from Armando and turns to face him.

"It's not necessary. When Don Mario asks him for a description of the woman he's going to easily deduced[it] because if the description were of a tall blonde woman or a brown curvy[slim thicc] woman or a very attractive woman; certainly Don Mario won't know who that'd be. He'd need to check the pictures in the archives that y'all have in the computer because I don't believe that I'll coincide with any of the women there. If he describes me, Don Mario will say that-that you brought Betty. "

"No but... it's not like that, Beatriz. Don't say that." he speaks softly and stands up. Betty had turned away from him, standing by the stair rail, she turns just a slight to stare at him.

"How many ugly woman have y'all brought to this apartment?"

A frame of only Armando is on screen, he stumbles, taken aback with this question of Betty's he looks away from her(indicating guilt) and Betty returns to the screen, staring at him while he stutters no. Again, the camera returns to Armando as he speaks.

"There's no need to talk to each other like this, Beatriz, please." Notice his tone of voice.*

"Not one, not a single one, Sir." Betty turns from him, giving him her back. "You would never have an ugly woman beside you." She turns her head to stare at him over her shoulder and says "I'm the first one and the last one in your life."

Now Armando is in the frame, staring down, with brows close together, lips slightly parted but pursed. He walks to sit on the armrest of the couch, his back to Betty, he removes his glasses as she speaks.

"I know that for you this is just a parentheses(interlude) in your life; an accident." In this frame we get them both. Both have their backs to each other however we only see Armando's face. When Betty says that this is just an accident in his life, Armando closes his eyes, purses his lips, shakes his head slightly, and rubs his forehead before dropping his hand and opening his eyes again and repeats this one more time(This indicates that he is taking in what she is saying, deep in thought regarding it(I'll get to it) as well as indicate he wants to . "But sooner or later you're going to have to return to your normal life. " He looks upwards, brows drawn close together while one is raised, mouth is slightly open but lips are tight as if stressed. "and if you don't marry Ms. Marcela-" Armando now turns his head a bit, but not facing Betty. His brows are now lower, still drawn in, eyes squinting, mouth is tight and his eyes squinting. Betty now is staring at the back of his head. "surely a woman will appear that is pretty, of class, for you." Armando now wears an expression of anger.

"Beatriz don't say that, yes?" She stares at the back of him, with a frustrated and sadden expression of her own. "Don't say that." he almost whispers and it sounds like a begging. His features soften.

"Oh Sir, please. Let's be frank." Armando starts to worry his bottom lip, eyebrows are still drawn close while his eyes are now sadden. His poster isn't straight or ridged but still tense enough to indicate that he is nervous and scared and trying to self sooth(lip biting). "No man would ever dream of marrying an ugly woman. Least to make a life with her." Betty now looks away from him, at the floor, in front of her, while Armando now with pursed lips, eyes looking up, squinting them, and brows close together, but up ward, indicate Betty's fear and her insecurity while Armando's fear continues to grow as well as his frustration. "Of having a long and serious relationship."

"This is a serious relationship." He says between clenched teeth.

"But you know this isn't going anywhere, Sir. You could never exhibit me in public." He stares at something in front of him, passes a hand over his face, rubs his parted lips(Shock, surprise, fear)(Y'ALL I CANNOT WAIT TO TALK ABOUT THIS!). "Your family would never allow it." Betty is now nearing him. While Armando now looks defeated and sad. "It would be a scandal. You could lose the company. They-they could disinherit you." He slightly turns to glance at her but blinks rapidly and looks away(could be guilt). Betty sighs and says "Besides you know that I'm not the woman for you. " This final sentence of Betty's is one that she holds close to heart as there's a slight tremble in her voice.

Armando now, in the frame alone, shakes his head and closes his eyes, begging Betty: "Betty I beg you, really. Don't talk to me like this anymore, I beg you., please." In a susurrating tone.

"Of course, yes, Sir, that was very clear to me with what happened today with Adriana Arboleda." Armando, swiftly turns his body towards her, staring at her, again, with an angry expression. However this anger of his isn't like the one he's had in the past, or much less with Marcela when she's accusing him, this is an anger that is a lot more calm and that he is trying to control and keep at bay so he can listen to what she is saying. "That you dream with her or at least with women like her."

Betty stares at him, her brows close together as well up arched upwards, there's a slight frown in the corners of her mouth and as she stares at him with eyes that look like they're in the brink of tears she finishes off with a sad smile: "Like the girls say, you two compliment each other." Back to Armando, he is staring at the oposite of her, who shakes his head in frustration and anger while his eyes have the same sentiment of Betty's: Sadness. "She's the type of woman that's for you, Sir." Betty says painfully, defeated, but trying to stay positive. However finally, Armando has had enough and he stands up and yells at her.

"Enough! Beatriz, don't go on with that story." He calms down and begins to whisper. "I am begging you. I already explained what happened with Adriana Arboleda. Don't keep going with that, yes?" She looks away from and pushes her glasses up as she sighs.

"Sir I don't feel well. It's best that I leave." She turns.

Betty tries to run out but Armando runs after her and stops her. Armando tells her that no woman has ever awoken in him what she has and it ends by Betty telling him that she's afraid, really afraid, of what she feels for him, how terrible it is for her, Armando asks why that is and she tells him she is afraid loving him, of losing herself and him, and of suffering.

At this Armando concludes this scene be saying that she doesn't have to be afraid of anything(the music they chose for this particular part of the scene says otherwise) and finally, sober, with a smile on his face while cupping her face in his hands he tells her that he loves her.

-Scene Breakdown

This entire scene is the fallout of all the impending foreshadowing we've gotten in past episodes. The way the scene is presented, the framing, the angels and such as well as the writing.

For one: The night we hear Betty's monologue while a drunk Armando stumbles into Marcela's apartment. When they show us dreams and we get back and forth scenes of both Betty and Armando drifting to sleep and we get the dream. Armando's micro expressions, his manipulation of Mario, the denial, the acceptance, and the confusion. It all explodes in this scene.

Betty grills Armando about his past with countless women, telling him that he isn't an exception, what they have isn't real, that he won't ever be public with her because of the disastrous consequences it would have for him, that his family would never accept the relationship, even if he didn't marry Marcela, he'd find somebody that was "beautiful." like Adriana Arboleda and that they'd look good together. She uses her ugliness to sentence him.

Why is this all important to mention? Had this scene been choreographed differently than I'd say it was just an argument, nothing more to what we're being shown and told but this novela has a great mastery of showing, not telling.

While Betty speaks we only see a clear image of Armando, with the exception of Betty walking near him, but we still get the bottom corner where we can see his eyes.

Just like their first night, which I realized in that post I talked very assertive because I knew what this scene meant in regards of Armando's character journey, they have a deep conversation. However the conversation isn't about desire anymore, it isn't about consent, or apologizing for what they feel. This conversation is a conversation Armando has had with himself for a long time.

What do I mean by that?

This is Betty's monologue. She speaks what she feels of the relationship and their future, as if she were writing in her diary, while Armando, in deep thought, considers what we the audience are hearing. Just like all the other scenes, however they're in the same room, this is happening at the exact same time, room, and day and all of Armando's expressions point to it being something he's considered before.

When Betty says "this isn't a serious relationship or long relationship," we see a frustrated Armando tell her their relationship is serious. When Betty brings up that he made it pretty clear with what happened earlier that day with Adriana Arboleda, Armando, again, frustrated, tells her that he already explained that to her.

However the extremely telling and chilling scene that pushes this theory forward is when Betty is listing the consequences of their relationship ever being public and how he'd never do it.

Armando seems to have air caught in his lungs.

"You could never exhibit me out in public," Armando runs his hand over his face, mouth hung open. "It would be a great scandal."

It's kind of that moment when one says "Oh crap."

Please, if you haven't, go read the post Tonight A Dream Of Mine Has Come True because I explain the following parallel there pretty well, which here I won't but I'll do a summary of it.

Similar to that scene, here Armando is now realizing how true the statement of "I understand you." is. He finally understand that Beatriz Pinzon Solano understands him, unlike anybody else. This scene shows us how much Armando has told himself these statements because unlike the night at the hotel when Betty was talking, Armando seemed moved, affected by what she was saying, considering it, but not panicking, not afraid, not frustrated, angry, annoyed, so on. This night he is. He goes through these emotions in matter of seconds.

Frustrated that Betty is telling him this, scared that she knows, afraid of what this means, panicked over how Betty is feeling, and annoyed at himself.

He's told himself that if he ever went public with Betty that his family would not allow it, especially his mother. He knows that they would not approve.

How does he know this?

Well let's talk about his mysterious sister, Camila, oh you know, the one that they forced to move to a different country, that doesn't talk to her parents and only keeps ties to the family through him. Oh! Right, the one that got married to a poor man and because of that their mother got in the middle of their marriage that she no longer is married to him? That his sister resents her parents for that.

Could you imagine the scandal the family faced when Camila got married to a "poor" man of society? The whispers of people? The embarrassment his parents went through? The way the upper society and elite must've looked down on them?

The thing about the elite, no matter what country you live in, is that the poor man is the worse thing anyone could ever be affiliated to, ironic ain't it?

A poor man is a man that reminds them they take advantage of the poor so they can have riches. The poor man is filthy, uneducated, filled with desease, and wants to take their riches and women hostage. The poor man is the enemy.

Camila made the "mistake" of falling in love with a poor man and the consequences were disastrous. She not only got shunned by the elite but she also got criticized by her family, her parents. She got shunned out, kicked out of the country and if that wasn't enough, her mother got in the way of her happiness, causing her husband to leave her.

Now who knows what the age difference between Armando and Camila are but seeing as Armando seems to be in his late twenties to early thirties, and his sister has been gone for a couple of years lets say Armando was still a teenager when all of that went down. Let's say he was maybe, roughly, 15-19 years of age. His sister could be roughly, in her early to mid twenties, she meets a man, Armando and his sister, we are told, are close, so she tells him all about this man she's met and how in love she is.

Both of them grew up with emotionally and mentally absent parents, who seemed more worried about the Valencia kids than their own kids. It's very possible that Armando lived the pain and torture both Camila and their parents endured, at a developing age, that does shape you into the adult you become if it's a fear strong enough to turn into a traumatic experience.

This obsession with perfection, to not cause his parents any more disappointments, no more embarrassments, shunning's, or anything on the likes?

He has a reason to be afraid, not only for his ego and what people might say, but because of his parents, his family, society as a whole, if they ever knew or saw, the woman he fell in love with and chose to stay in love with.

So yes, we can conclude that Armando has had endless conversations with himself regarding his true feelings about Betty and their relationship. We can assume, with certainty, that Armando has tried to picture a future with Betty and that it's made him yearn for that future with her, however, the prejudice, the looks, the comments, and the treatment that they'd BOTH get from his world would be enough to keep him fearful.

You might think: But Armando is embarrassed to be seen with Betty because she is "ugly", doesn't this theory dismiss that?

No and here is why; Armando is a ball of confusion. He still lives in a stage of denial and confusion. He lives afraid of his own feelings. However, this theory still takes into account Armando's embarrassment because he knows, if Betty were the beauty standard that he wouldn't have to deal with societies prejudice and commentary of his relationship with Betty. He knows the only problem here is that Betty is "ugly." and though he has accepted this and all that it entails in their relationship, he still doesn't want to deal with the scandal that would be 'Armando Mendoza Saenz Breaks up with The beautiful Marcela Valencia, to date his UGLY assistant! His parents are in shambles, he is the laughing stock of the town! His assistant is VERY UGLY!'.

Again, let us not forget how much it means to him that his parents love him and he does absolutely anything to keep the mirage that he is worthy of their love because he has seen just how easily his parents turned their backs on his sister. Betty isn't just poor, she's "ugly" and she isn't socially educated either. She's all the "worse" things a woman can be to the elite and while Armando see's that all of these things aren't an impediment for him to feel the way he feels about her, for him to care about her and for him to be both physically and emotionally attracted to her, he knows the consequences he'd have to deal with, not only him, but Betty as well, he stays put, in fear of an open relationship with Betty and like I mentioned in the I Understand You Part 1 post, Armando wants to protect himself, what he feels for Betty, their relationship and her, from the preying hands of people who could harm that.

He accepts she isn't "pretty" but that doesn't meant he isn't afraid of what the public will say once they find out about who he fell and chose to stay in love with.

Now in part 1 of this same title of post, I mentioned a theory that was brought to my attention on IG which was in regards of Armando's glasses and his vision problems, which I wanted to talk about for this scene.

In that theory the idea is that Armando has Hyperopia, which means close objects are blurry while far away objects are clear. The theory arises with a future scene where Betty day dreams of taking off Armando's glasses and grabbing him by the tie and saying "take a good close look at me, this is how you see me, blurry." which would explain why he takes off his glasses to kiss her and be intimate with her and trust me, as much as I love tiny details, I want to believe this theory, but I can't.

The reason being is that we get a lot on instances where Armando does Kiss her with his glasses and without his glasses, sober, drunk, tipsy, etc. He also kissed other women with and without his glasses but they used this night as an example, saying that in went in hand with what Armando says: That in the dark he feels her the most because this night in Mario's apartment, all lights are one, except the ones inside the kitchen(Y'all think Mario cooks or he always orders take out? Or that Armando cooks? I think Mario would cook cause he always needs to impress the ladies, unlike Armando who only needs to flash them a smile, but I doubt Armando cooks... maybe he knows how to make sandwiches...idk man why am I talking about this right now?)(which again, Mario has money shmoney because they went into the apartment and all lights were on. What the hell man? Conserve some energy.) they sinned in the bright LED lights of Armando's apartment, no darkness, not nothing and where THE HELL did Betty get that bathrobe?

Anyway, there's a lot more that goes against that theory. Armando removed his glasses, way before he would kiss Betty. He removed them while he wasn't even directed towards her. His back was towards her. He removed them to give himself time to process what Betty was saying and he didn't put them back on. In fact he removed Betty's glasses because they got in his way of being *this close to her face while he sucked on it.

I was reading that theory and I was thinking to myself "What a neat idea. It makes sense for that scene." but then after realizing and remembering all the other instances I personally believe that Armando's vision doesn't have anything to do with kissing, boning, or whatever with Betty. If anyone has a better understanding of that theory feel free to comment it :)

Anyway, from Betty's side, we see someone who is both uncomfortable, angry, frustrated, and sad. We understand why that is. In the Adriana Arboleda post I explained in further detail how that whole incident made her feel. Top that with being in Mario's bach pad and hearing the comments the doorman said, I'd also feel very insecure.

However in her frustration, she uses her "ugliness" to attack Armando by being harsh in the way she spoke to him, though we know that all she said was true and justified, for Armando this was a punishment as he begs her stop speaking to him in that way.

I'll end this scene analysis with the future foreshadowing:

When Armando asks Betty why she's afraid and feels like this is terrible for her, Betty tells him, she's afraid of suffering and Armando tells her that she's got nothing to be afraid of.

God, those words come to sentence her and him in less than a mere 24 hours into the future. While Armando meant it, that she didn't have to be afraid, these words are laced with poison.

To conclude this post, later on, when Betty tells him about Miguel(He can catch these hands, it's on sight tbh.) Armando has the opportunity, and the desire, to come clean to Betty, but Betty interrupts him and tells him that she knows him, and she knows he isn't like Miguel and we see a man, haunted by his deeds.

However, for future reference I want to note what Betty told Armando and how similar the traumatic relationship she had with Miguel is to to that of what she has with Armando, however there's still key components that make them different.

For one while Miguel started this "romance" with Betty, Betty wasn't interested in him or even liked him, she says that it wasn't after all his pestering that she started to like him. Armando did care about Betty, and she was interested in him, and they were friends before he started to romance Betty. So while yes the reason he went into the relationship were wrong but the ulterior motive was always that he didn't want to lose Betty, like a kid doesn't want to lose their favorite toy, whether they use it or not, they don't want to share or lose said toy. Miguel always had a hollow and superficial motive. So that gives Armani .5 points. The other thing is that while Miguel never even considered Betty's feelings or cared enough to not feel guilty, Armando always felt guilty and did consider Betty's feelings, especially the longer the relationship went on. He starts to view her not as his possession but rather, his partner, and views her so intimately linked to him that what is done to her is done to him, so again, this gives him 1 whole point(I'm being kind to him rn) and lastly, the final parallel and nail to this coffin is that Betty said after all was said and done and he got what he wanted, that she never heard from him, days went on, weeks, months, and she didn't hear from him. He vanished. This tiny detail, finally clicked on me.

Later on, weeks, months, who knows, later, she overhears Armando and Mario talking about sending her away and this is what pushes Betty to hand over Armando's head to the whole board committee of executives and Mario says that after a while she'd stop thinking of him.

I.e. abandoning her after he got what he wanted from her, exactly like Miguel did.

Ahhh!

I'm still not fully there but am feeling a lot better than I was two weeks ago, Thanks to God. I think for the next few posts I won't really talk about scenes since they're pretty self explanatory but more about the plot and how it's carried on and why certain characters did what they did. It's a pretty long process when it comes to breaking down scene than the plot because I have to interpret and translate what they're saying and then go back to watch the acting, then the directing, and all that fun jazz so sometimes it gets pretty tiring but I really enjoy doing these post. I however do miss doing the post regarding the plot, parallels and analysis of that. I'm not saying I'll stop doing either, I will do both styles, but please be patient with me :)

Anyway I hope y'all are doing well and if not, hope y'all feel better. Be kind to yourself and others. Thank you!

'Til next time! :)

[youwontlikethisblog]

a vent about being a writer

I half expected last year, to have my book ready to publish by this year, you know, after finally accepting that it was something I was able to do.

The funny thing about commitment issues is that they don't just affect you when it comes to relationships or the lack of them. It's the paralyzing fear of saying you'll do something and failing at it and everything turning out wrong and horrible. I can't commit to anything in life. I've only ever committed to one thing in life and it's the one thing I don't regret at all, even then the pressure of failing is crushing.

I don't expect things to last a life time. I enjoy the ride while it's there and I'm fine whenever it ends. I'm crushed when things don't work out though. It reaffirms the believe that bad things always follow when you really want something to happen.

I want to publish my work because I worked hard on it and I want people to read it. I don't want to hear feedback or opinions about it. I don't want criticism or praise. I don't want it to be the best book published in modern history or it be the worst. I simply want to live in limbo. You know, a small cult following that never talks about it.

When I sent it to the first agent/editor a friend had recommended me to send to; they asked me what I wanted from the book and I told them the exact same thing. They told me they had read a bit from it and liked it, that for it to be my first manuscript and the first piece I wanted to publish, that it was impressive and that I knew the story and characters well and that it would be a hit with the the YA audiences because it spoke about topics that younger people should know about. My target is between YA and NA(New Adult). They were trying to sell me off on this book being the greatest thing, you know? To do public talks, readings, this whole thing and how it would be amazing...

To sell you the world...to buy the world, is very tempting, right?

I mean, think about it, what writer wouldn't jump on the opportunity to have an editor who has connections be their agent/editor and do it all with a family friendly discount while being your guide? That sounds like the promise land!

Yeah, talk about privilege!

Here I am, a person who dropped out of High School because my mental health was trash, I didn't get to go to college, I've basically taught myself all I know about writing and studied it on my own and my natural talent of writing is just an added bonus as to why I'm a writer. A writer who has no life plan, my closest friends are either married or moved to different cities/states to peruse their dreams and I stay at home, rotting away because I can't form connections, I can't work in a place without thinking of how filthy everything is and having a panic attack at the thought of talking to strangers, not understanding orders and feeling like an idiot, and most importantly, the fact that I'd have to commit to said work meaning I'd have to be there every day at a certain time, for a certain amount of time, maintain my cool and not have the option to leave whenever, show up whenever, and be committed to that is a little bit more than overwhelming; it's asphyxiating.

So you know whenever a person who's known you since you were a kid asks you "so what are you doing now Where do you work? What's your big life plan?" it's embarrassing to say that you're unemployed and are an aspiring artist, minus the fact you make no money out of that aspiration.

"I'm a writer." I say, with a smile, a palpitating chest, and a stomach tide in knots.

"Oh wow! That's so interesting, what kind of books do you write?"

"Oh you know..." I take a second to remember what I've written. "Books, about life, and such, I dabble in all kinds of genres."

"What books have you published?" They smile, excited to find a person who has done something new and exiting, outside of being a doctor, telling a person you're this artist who might have a promising future at being known by many, it's like telling them 'I'm a famous person in the making and you can say you knew me before the fame!'

"I haven't yet, but I'm working on it."

"What's the book about?"

and queue me forgetting everything I have ever written in the past decade, much less the manuscript my now fired and no longer talking to me, editor/agent, has in his possession, are erased out of my mind and I have no recollection of ever being a writer to begin with, "Uh...it's about a girl...who moves in with her best friend after running away from home because she was in the foster system for a year because her dad was a junkie, and then lived with her mom but her mom wasn't that great so she ran away and now she's living with her best friend and it's about that and the repercussions about a teen living the life of a young adult and how that affects her, plus she's in a band!" but instead of saying that it's more like me going off about a conspiracy theory. All the while my heart is in my throat and I fear them asking me more questions.

Usually the conversations ends with "Oh wow! That's very interesting, I could never write something like that. Let me know when you publish it so I can read it!" and then for the next couple of months they'll keep asking you if you're done and no! Linda! I haven't because I have this paralyzing fear that the book will be a success and people will want to know about me and the fear that I might think it'll be a success but it'll bomb because my dumb editor ghosted me! Which must mean that it's a horrible piece of literary work and it's so disgustingly boring and horrible they've decided to never ever speak to me to even let me know how bad it is!

And yeah, you are going to say that it happens. It takes longer to find an agent and editor than to actually publish the book, a lot of books get rejected, I should just do self-publishing.

Oh but to do that you must have a social media following, so people can expect your book and the word is out there. That way you launch isn't a complete flop.

How do I do that?

I suck at having conversations. I suck and selling. I suck at talking into a void called social media and writers on social media make it seem like you have to be the most engaging person ever and I wonder why can't it be like old times? Where I publish under a man's name and the man at the newspaper tells me that it won't have success but I tell him to pity me and that I'll pay him instead and if there's success he can start paying me...yeah...that's commitment too.

When you have commitment issues, you view the world as only commitment. You can't uncommit to things. Very few things are actually a gray area and I thrive in the gray.

I have a manuscript and I read it over and over again and each time I think it's mediocre, so horrible it would be an embarrassment to ever publish it but each time I'm done reading it; I believe it's the best literary work created in the modern age.

I know my character too well that if I wrote in a flowery, poetic, and grammatically correct way, it'd be a disservice and crime against the character and their story so I can't control that.

If I expose her I fear the hatred she'll receive. I created her when I was fifteen years old, I've watched her grow, evolve, change, and become who she is now... I don't want praise, I don't want opinions, criticism, negative or positive feedback, I simply want to release it into the wild and see what happens, but I also want it to have some sort of success and well it's a cycle...

I thought I'd publish my first book a year ago...I'm barely hanging onto a dream that I never wanted...life is an oxymoron and I can't seem to commit to the life path that if I publish that means I have to be a writer for the rest of my life...and If don't, I renounce the idea, the life, and the desire to be a writer and I get a "real" job where I have to deal with people...sometimes I really hate 18 year old me for not doing it but funnily enough, that's also where my commitment issues come to play.

[youwontlikethisblog]

The craziest thing to me is knowing I have my finished manuscript waiting for me to send it out, do some final edits, and publish it.

And I haven't done any of that.

[youwontlikethisblog]

[youwontlikethisblog]

almost every uquiz on the last question: tell me a secret... tell me something so deep and personal that you’ve never told anyone else before

me just trying to find out what anime character i am: 😐

[youwontlikethisblog]

Armando was too cowardly and superficial at the beginning to experience genuine, selfless, love or interest for anyone. If I remember correctly, there is some instances when Armando shows some sort of disgust with the idea of ever being romantically involved with Betty, not before the plan, but when Mario first started to tease and test the waters in regards of the plan's inception.

Did Armando care for Betty at the start? Yeah, of course. He viewed her as loyal employee and he definitely enjoyed the attention and devotion Betty dedicated to him, but Armando's character was always so naïve(when it comes to actually paying attention to his surroundings) that he just imagined that whatever dynamic Betty and He had at work would carry on until they were both gray and old. Let's not forget that Armando's emotional attraction to Betty was what drove him nuts at the beginning of their "Relationship" and why he lived in such a denial and confused state of mind.

Armando views Betty as his possession at the start. He expected that any devotion, attention, or loyalty she had should only be for him and felt anger and betrayal when anything painted her as anything but that.

This is why we often see those funny moments like when Charlie gave her a peck on the cheek, Armando did get jealous but not like a boyfriend or a potential boyfriend who wants the person they love to only be their love, more like "Man this woman will be devoted, admire, loyal, and love this man just by that kiss, when she's mine and all of that belongs to me!" not her, but the adoration she had for him.

Betty wasn't some pet or some toy. She was simply his possession, or so he thought. So when their relationship progressed and lines began to blur, Armando did feel like he wasn't worthy of Betty because he knew exactly how he had felt before, during, and after the inception of the plan. It's why he said he felt like he was betraying an angel and why he often compared her to an angel.

He knew how integral, honest, loyal, and loving Betty could be and when he realized that, not as an employee of his, but as a woman, the guilt was crushing to him because before any of that, he didn't view her as a woman, which was a huge plot in the beginning of their "relationship".

It's why when Nicolas is introduced not as a friend but a romantic prospect, Armando goes insane with jealousy. I mean if he see how devoted Betty is as an employee, how else would she be as a lover? And that mixed with his possessive reach on Betty not only makes him believe he's entitled to Betty's beautiful qualities but that anyone who gets in the way of that is deemed as a horrible person for taking that away from him.

Does this mean that Armando didn't genuinely care for her? No, he did, which I know is contradicting to my first statement, but while Armando didn't genuinely care for Betty at the start, he did at the end. Had he felt genuine, selfless, and kind feelings for Betty at the start he would have never agreed to start a fake relationship with her in order to retain the company. While yes he did so with two intentions, he pretended to be in a relationship with her so he then wouldn't lose her or the company, two birds, one stone and yet that selfishness is what lead him to disregard Betty as a woman, a person, and he was too coward to ever want to understand, accept, admit, and act on how true his feelings for Betty were at the start, so was he in love with her? Did he love her even as a friend? No. He felt possessive and if that possessiveness came from romantic feelings, than I think it makes him far worse for hurting her the way he did.

However, so that this doesn't seem like I'm saying that Armando was the worst person in that cast, Armando had feelings for Betty at the start of their "Relationship". He didn't know or understand them and what drove him to feel so threaten and afraid of losing her, he simply knew he felt afraid of that happening.

As their relationship progressed and as he began to see her as more than his employee, "ugly" Betty, and saw her as a person, a woman, who feels, desires, and loves, his own feelings begun to shift and not only did he feel guilty, that's when he felt like he wasn't deserving of Betty and that the possibility of losing Betty to Nicolas was even greater. Beginning Armando did not love nor feel like he was not good enough for Betty, but middle to end Armando did.

So watching and thinking about YSBLF and I love how we're all in agreement that Armando had feelings for Betty before his whole plan, right? And it's clear that everyone notices the special relationship between them. Mario in particular calls Armando her "husband" (this is even just before they start the phantom business) and he teases Armando about how Betty must obviously be in love with him to be so devoted and loyal. And we all know that of course, Armando rejects it every time. But to me, he doesn't do it in a way that suggests the idea of Betty being in love with him disgusts him or is unappealing to him. He merely acts in a way that shows he just doesn't believe that she is. And it lead me to think that I don't think the idea of dating Betty was ever as terrible to Armando as he tried to make it sound like it was. It in fact made me think... what if Armando secretly did want to be with Betty... but he was too insecure. It made me think what if he thought SHE was too good for HIM? Because we can clearly see that Betty puts Armando on a pedestal. But Armando ALSO puts Betty on a pedestal. He frequently tells her how much he needs her and he plainly asks her not to leave him. He calls her his guardian angel. He constantly talks about what an upstanding, moral, loyal person she is. It made me wonder if deep down just like Betty didn't feel she was pretty/rich enough to be with Armando, Armando felt he wasn't good or decent enough to be with Betty.

[youwontlikethisblog]

That's amazing! I honestly feel bad that I don't watch interviews or anything of those likes in regards to the novela so anytime anyone tells me anything I'm like holding my breath hoping I haven't strayed too far from what Fernando wrote because as a writer I'd hate if anyone did that!

Please do share when you get the chance to find it :)

Don Hermes: A Deep Dive

Hello, back from the grave(briefly)

I know I said I would be taking a break from posting analysis of the episodes and scenes but I've been thinking about this for weeks and I can't get it out of my head so might as well write a post dedicated to Don Hermes.

In order to really understand this character, once more, we have to look at the dynamics, culture, era, and context of cause and effect of this character, his motives, reasons, and effects not only that affect him but effect Betty.

In this post I will be discussing the following:

Actions don't tend to only affect those who cause and those who are direct receivers of said actions; contrary they are a domino effect.

We have to look at the consequences of daughters who grow up with and without a father.

As I've mentioned before in order to write good characters you have to understand your characters. It's not a maybe, a possibility, or a perhaps in the choices your characters make, it is a 100% understanding of the choices your characters make.

Domino Effect:

Feelings and emotions are something that contribute a lot in the way we behave, react, and deal with things, if we didn't have emotions than it would be a warning to seek professional help.

What does this have to do with a fictional character?

The lure of watching TV is that it's meant to be mindless, numbly, and just something to fry your brain so you can escape reality. Unless you set out to watch a real life event made to movie based on facts or a documentary you expect that everything you watch is meant to not make you think. It's the appealing factor of watching TV instead of reading. With reading you're more aware of the dilemas, action, cause and effect, as well as see the world through the main character's eyes.

It's sort of a manual that guides you right through this story you've jumped in to see. You become the main character and see the world just as they see it. However with TV, that's not something you truthfully get[to experience] and the reason being is that even when there is a main character being the voice of guidance like in books, you really get to see the main character for what they are. You aren't vividly in the main character's train of thought like in reading, you're only watching it, not living it, so small details in movies and tv shows can be greatly missed, unless if you're like me, who obsesses over small tiny details, than you aren't going to pick up on it right away, or maybe never.

We know one film snobs who think certain movies are the epidemy of art and commentary of society norms and that mundane movies and tv shows based on clichés are boring and braindead excuses that only people who can't think watch, yuck.

Suspenseful, detective, crime, and thriller movies have an advantage, you as the viewer, know that something is up and that the character's can't be trusted, even the main character, so you as the viewer, make the extra effort to pay attention to small details. It becomes a conscious effort, just like reading.

When you're reading you make the conscious effort to pay attention to detail because you know that in order to really enjoy the book you must immerse yourself into that world. I've seen memes where people say: When you're reading and you're the director, the producer, wardrobe/set designer, and main actor on set so you have to cut the scene, go back and re-read a sentence until you imagine it just right.

When you're watching TV all of that is done for you. It's why many times when novels, trilogies, or books are turned into movies we're left disappointed because it's not what we imagined.

What does all of this have to do with domino effect and Don Hermes you ask?

Well simply put: he's a character that is just as wonderfully written as the rest that people just lump with a bad father and I am here to clear his name.

To watch Yo Soy Betty, La Fea and really understand the moral of the story you have to pay attention to detail because it gives a broader understanding of the characters, moral, and overall the point of the story we're being told.

These details if ignored, distort the story we are hearing. It gives it a false narrative and takes away the reality that Fernando Gaitan was writing and that's another thing; YSBLF is based on the logic of that world and it closely if not, is a mirroring or resemblance to our real world and the commentary of FG on it.

In Latine America men are raised to be mentally, emotionally, and physically strong and that they are stronger in all those aspects to that of women. The consequence of this is that it builds a culture of machismo where the translation that men and women are different means that women are lesser than men, in that culture and that women need men to live and cater to men.

ma·chis·mo/mäˈCHēzmō/

noun strong or aggressive masculine pride. "the exaggerated machismo displayed in the tango"

Machismo is deeply imbedded in Latine American culture and taught to boys as they grow up. Nowadays that's changing and the idea of men being machistas and that being acceptable is being challenged but we're not talking about nowadays, we're talking about the past.

YSBLF came out in 1999, Betty is roughly around 23-25 when the novela starts, her father and mother are much older than her(DUH)and very old school however a bit open minded in some things. In Betty's birthday episode the way Don Hermes was dressed and the music he selected gives an understanding that he most likely was born in the late 40's or 50's and that he lived long enough in those decades to see the consequences of war, the importance of being ethical and having a good moral compass, idealizing "Simpler" times and so forth.

He is very old fashioned in the understanding that what makes a well rounded person is the family they have and how much of a reflection it is of their parents that their child is a good person. However, idealistically speaking, he goes against the grain of what a machista is, therefore he isn't a machista.

Now you may ask: "But he constantly yells at Betty and her mom!" and yes, he is a crappy husband, but we're not talking about that, just yet.

Don Hermes pushed his daughter to study, and in a field were women aren't really welcomed, especially in Latin America in the 90's(especially if you're "ugly"), constantly told her she didn't need to depend on anyone, that she didn't need a job, especially work in a place where they humiliated her, because he'd always take care of her, however, he always encouraged her to be hard working and put all her degrees to work.

That goes against the core believe that machistas have.

Now that we know he isn't a machista, let's take a look at another part of his character.

Don Hermes is very old school with the way women compose themselves. He looks down upon Betty's friends because they have "libertinaje" meaning they live a immodest lifestyle. Divorced, single mothers, separated, out without her husband, drunkards', loud, dressed in tight clothing, and "looking fervently" for a man. All things he believes women shouldn't be.

Why is that?

Understanding the domino effect is important here because this is something that Don Hermes has tried to shield Betty from, from a young age.

Wikipedia: Domino effect: A domino effect or chain reaction is the cumulative effect produced when one event sets off a chain of similar events. The term is best known as a mechanical effect and is used as an analogy to a falling row of dominoes

In the late 70's and 80's the world faced the epidemic of AIDS, at that time there wasn't a broad understanding of what AIDS was and how you got it however, it was something, that to this day, is understood to be a desease one gets from unprotected sex , multiple sex partners and a wild social life.

Yeah I know, what does this have to do with anything?

Imagine hearing in the news that globally, a desease that affects both women and men, particularly, from what I've read, AIDS was more prominent in the years of 1993-1997 in Colombia, AIDS was at it's highest rate of infection, in your country, that doesn't have enough research or treatment, is affecting the younger population. Nowadays we understand that men are at a higher risk of AIDS than women. However this type of information wasn't so openly out there in the past.

So in conclusion: There's a sexually transmitted deseas with no cure, no real understanding of how you can get it, and people who have a "Wild and free" life seem to be the most affected: My daughter will not be influenced by people to live a "wild and free" life at the risk of dying.

Yeah Don Hermes was also old school and believed that women who had relations outside of wedlock were not pristine and a bad reflection of moral teaching.

However and I will get to this later on in this post, you have to understand your character's fears and worries.

I'm trying to paint a picture here, of an example that is not at all factual in the show but just to give an understanding of what could have caused this man to be so overly protective of his daughter. If you grew up with old school traditions and teachings, with a daughter that was bullied for simply existing, in a world that didn't accept your child as is, that lives in a country where drug wars, civil wars, and epidemics of deseases with no cure are prevalent, would you not be an over bearing parent?

The domino effect of the world that Don Hermes grew up in and watched his daughter grow up in affected him to be over bearing, over protective, and a strict father.

Lets not forget that to Don Hermes Betty was his most precious possession and that he strongly believed that the best inheritance a father could leave their child was good moral conduct, modest, and ethical example.

He wanted his daughter to stay inside his house, where he could keep an eye on her, because he wanted to keep her safe and protect her from the world. Were his methods not the best? Yeah.

Due to this over protectiveness of his, Betty grew up shield from the real world and naïve to an extent, of the dangers of it and how deprived men can be. This does have a domino effect in Betty's life-when it comes to being social.

Was he at fault for his daughter's low self-esteem and self worth?

No and you can catch these hands if you think otherwise.

Lets now jump into the subject of understanding of:

What are the Consequences of growing up with and without a father for a girl?

When we get flashbacks of Betty's childhood her dad is very present in those flashbacks, overbearingly so. In the first topic we understood why he was overbearing, the reasons why, and what the domino effect of his life experience had on him as a father, however in this section we're still dealing with the domino effect of his parenting methods, but it isn't the main focus.

In the Armando post where I briefly talked about the subject of a parents roles in their child's development I said something along the lines of how children are a reflection of their environment and that parents are a huge part of their child's development.

Betty as well is a reflection of her environment and the role her parents had in her life.

We love Betty, she's sweet, caring, kind, loving, "innocent", always trying to see the good in people, and intelligent.

Father figures are an extremely important role both for their sons and daughters but especially in the role of their daughter's self-esteem.

Self-esteem isn't only based on your looks, it's a broader understanding of you and what you are as a reflection of how you feel about it all, if that makes sense.

Studies show that girls who grow up without a father tend to have more problematic relationships, low self-esteem, low self-worth, battle addiction, depression, suicide, eating disorders, etc.

Though Betty does have low self-esteem and absolutely no self-worth, she doesn't have it as a result of having an absent father and like I said in the Armando post: an absent parent doesn't always mean that the parent isn't physically there. It can mean a parent who isn't there for the emotional and mental growth and development of their child, however obviously some parents aren't there for all three things.

"Fathers provide their daughters with a masculine example. They teach their children about respect and boundaries and help put daughters at ease with other men throughout their lives. [...] So if she didn't grow up with a proper example, she will have less insight and she'll be more likely to go for a man that will replicate the abandonment of her father."

— Caitlin Marvaso, AMFT, a grief counselor and therapist in Oakland, CA

source: https://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/When-Daddy-Dont-Love-Their-Daughters-What-Happens-to-Women-Whose-Fathers-Werent-There-for-Them#:~:text=To%20summarize%2C%20depression%2C%20suicide%2C,effects%20of%20an%20absent%20father.

Has Don Hermes been an emotionally/mentally absent father?

Again the flashbacks we get don't point to that. In fact it's a father who is present, in mostly every flashback, and one who takes the lead of it. Betty often talks about him with endearment and even names him as her most precious possession, which mirrors Don Hermes sentiment towards her. He is her pride.

He constantly is seen being protective of her and while not the most emotional guy, he showers her with positive attention and reaffirming her worth by reminding her that she is well educated, academically educated, has good moral and ethical standing, and should be respected because she is deserving of it, not only because of all the above but because she is his daughter, his pride and joy.

So then, what are the consequences of having a present father, who is both mentally and emotionally present in a girls life?

For one self-esteem and self worth are a lot higher, expectations of men and long lasting relationships with them are healthier, they are not afraid to set boundaries, self-respect, lower chances of risky behavior etc.

Speaking from experience of being a daddy's girl: a father's role is extremely important to building healthy relationships with not only men but people in general(I was gonna make a personal experience joke but it was outta pocket). My father taught me how to read, draw, write, count, and how to cry it out. There wasn't a bad day in school that I didn't go to my dad to cry and vent and he'd always gift me something afterwards be it a fancy eraser or a doll. My father in some ways reminds me of Don Hermes so my opinion could be a bit personal lol.

Authoritative parenting style is the best style of parenting because it is both teaching of moral conduct and consequences as well as catering to the emotional and mental needs of your child while still teaching them natural consequences and how to rightfully deal with problems.

Don Hermes has that style of parenting. He often sets rules, expectations, boundaries, and goals for Betty. He encourages her and is there to celebrate her and there to hold her hand when she fails.

Ironically enough, writing this post I realized that Armando has daddy issues, like I knew he had parental problems and how they shaped him but It hadn't hit me how deeply affected he was because of his father's absence :(

I bring Armando up right now because even though he isn't a girl he is the perfect example in the show of a child who grew up without a father's love while Betty is the perfect example of someone who did.

Why do I say all of this?

This brings us to the third and the final topic of this post:

You Have To Understand Your Characters:

What does this mean?

In order to write a four dimensional character you have to know them, like you would a friend or family member, through and through. I'm more likely giving too much credit to FG as Don Hermes was a secondary character, albeit one of the most important secondary characters, so it's likely he didn't really sit there and think about this mans childhood, how it affected him in raising a child, how he met Julia his wife, how he reacted when he found out he was going to be a father; in reality he probably based Don Hermes's parental and loving qualities around his own personal experience as a father and tried to understand where Don Hermes was coming from but again I don't know FG lol or seen any of his interviews, except for one, regarding YSBLF.

Personally how I go about writing and fleshing out my OC's is that I interview them. I come up with the concept of my character, you know the basics, goals, ambitions, fears, insecurities, description and so forth and then I go about asking them personal questions, from there on I go and think of their most traumatic experiences and how that shaped them, their best memory, do they have siblings? If they do how close? Are they close to their parents? What is their family life like? Lastly, after I understand these characters backstory I ask myself: What is the purpose of this character in this story? Do they play a vital role? Could I take them out and the story would keep going as if nothing or would it move the story?

When you understand your characters you understand why they behave a certain way. Being a writer who knows their characters pretty well makes writing the story in it of itself pretty easy because you understand where they are coming from. You understand the purpose of their words, why they stand the way they do. You understand in completion what makes the character themselves and in order to do that you must be well versed in their behavior.

What does this have to do with Don Hermes?

Simple: Don Hermes isn't a one dimensional, two dimensional, or even a three dimensional character. He is 4D.

What is his fear? That his daughter suffers.

What is his motivation? Being a good example to his daughter, leaving her with the best inheritance.

What is his ambition? To be a good member of society who upholds principal and ethical actions despite that not achieving riches.

What is his goal? To be a good father who sets a good example for his daughter so she may follow in his footsteps.

These are the basics. They give us a basic understanding of Don Hermes, right?

Now the final questions are:

If he is a good father why is Betty insecure? and how is it possible that his overbearing parenting style didn't negatively impact Betty?

When I write my analysis of scenes/episodes and focus on body language I always remind y'all that context is key. It is for absolutely everything in life.

By solely blaming Don Hermes for all of Betty's problems in reality you're taking away the responsibility that society has and plays the role of, in a young person's life.

What do I mean by this? And what does this have to do with understanding your character?

Well we're about to talk about my dear and sweet Betty and this is a part of her character I've been dying to talk about!

I, again, can speak on experience. As mentioned above, I grew up with a present father in my life. I am a daddy's girl. However I too grew up insecure.

Society has a lot to do with it.

Just like Betty, my father was over protective of me as a child. He wouldn't let me handle anything dangerous, would constantly tell me that people in the world had bad intentions and most importantly after a good cry he'd kiss my cheeks and tell me that he loved me very much and then shower me with surprise toys or crafting supplies.

Betty's dad was the exact same. When we get the flashback of him pulling her towards the house so she wouldn't play with the neighborhood kids he tells her: "That's why I bought you all your toys, so you can have fun. The devil is a pig, remember that." the meaning behind that wasn't only to tell Betty she'd be tempted to do something bad in reality he used it as telling her "The world is a terrible place with terrible people who will hurt you."

side note: I want to make it canon(now that I know what that means) that Don Hermes had a Corn collection. This doesn't really have anything to do with this post except it's about Don Hermes but that one day when he was telling Betty that she had her own kind of beauty and that men liked exotic beauty, after she left he told Julia that he was well versed because he kept up with the times and that's why he had that collection[of magazines] in their room, so he could keep up with modern days.

He knew the kids in the neighborhood bullied Betty, they didn't involve her in their games and he heard the whispers from parents around the neighborhood as well so in his own way, in his own terms, he protected Betty from rejection by taking the burden of being the one who prohibited her from mingling with the outside world, however the damage was there because in school Betty still had to deal with those rats.

In one of the first episodes, when Roman asked Betty to go out, Betty, giving the benefit of the doubt, agreed to go out however Don Hermes didn't want her to go out with Roman and Co. for two reasons: Betty could do better than him and his loser friends and to protect her from rejection. However the reason I bring this up is because Betty mentioned that Don Hermes took her out of public school and placed her in a convent when her friends started to get boyfriends. (I only saw the final episode, I skipped all the way to the end, so that I could be prepared to deal with the emotional pain of their breakup but I still haven't seen the second part, anyway)Don Hermes mentioned that he always wanted his daughter to be pristine(a virginia) and that he raised her to know that the most integral part of her was the center of her family.

For one I mentioned the AIDS epidemic for two reasons: that it would be a motive for him to be so, extremely, sheltering of Betty in regards of her socializing with people who could lead her down a path that could affect her in her health as well as ruin their moral and ethic standing(we see the way he scorned her when she was offered the commission). Not to mention that parents in countries that have a lot of conflict are often very strict in regards of their child's social life in fear that they could wind up dead, drug addict, delinquent, victim of human trafficking, and other things on the likes. I recently found this out while doing some research of El Salvador's music scene(there's some really good bands out there but bc of the conflict younger generations aren't active in the scene back there due to parents restrictions out of fear.). So while Don Hermes is old school in regards of his daughter maintaining her virginal status because it reflect good on their family and she is in god's grace, as well that keeping her away from people who could corroded those principals he's instilled in her, he also has other motives as to keep her on a short social leash. This reason and the one mentioned above in regard of trying to save her from suffering rejection and this is what I'll stress out in the following.

Both socially for their reputation, her mental, physical, and emotional protection, Don Hermes doesn't let Betty out of the house with anyone unless it's Nicolas because Don Hermes has practically watched him grow and in some way he's also been like a father figure to Nicolas. We understand where he's coming from now.

The reason I brought up what the effects of growing up with and without a present father in a girl's life is because we need to really understand the root of Betty's self-esteem and self-worth issues and to debunk the idea that Don Hermes is behind all of that we need to see and understand how a character with fatherless daughter disorder would be written and presented by understanding the effects of the child into adulthood. Seeing as Don Hermes was an active father of Betty's life in all three aspects of: Physically being present, emotionally, and mentally as well, which means he set up a good example of being a man, which is also a reason why Betty is attracted to Armando's personality because it is a love she knows, which doesn't cause her to be as afraid of him(I've explained this in previous post but I can't remember right now what they're titled, sorry.) So not only are we told from Betty's own words that her father is her most precious possession we also have facts to prove why that is and how much Don Hermes loves Betty and in his own way tries to protect her and shield her from danger and pain.

I'll answer why she's insecure in a bit.

Now in regards for understand characters, which brings this whole post full circle is very easy: Even if there wasn't a backstory written for a character, simply by understanding the basics of your character you can make a compelling character that is 4D, all by making his goals, fears, motives, ambitions, and desires realistic and it leaves just enough room for the reader to interpret and understand what the meaning of that character is for the story and the purpose it serves. That alone allows us to determine whether the character is good, worthy of redemption, and the lesson they are trying to teach us.

I rave about Armando, Mario, and even Marcela's(tho her not too much) and Betty's complexities but Don Hermes is a character who deserves to be defended! He is a good father who loves his daughter greatly.

Which is why we get such a contrast with Roberto. Roberto wasn't an emotionally or mentally present father in Armando's life. His love was always conditional. The day that both fathers find out about their children's borderline illegal business activities they both react so differently. Don Hermes decided that while he won't act like he approves or is okay with what Betty has done that he'll show face for her and that he'll make her deal with the consequences, however, that among all of that, she will always have a shoulder to cry on and lean her head on. While Roberto tells his son, who is in the brink of tears(I'll talk about that scene in due time cause boooooiii I gotta a lot to say!) that he never wants to speak to him again and basically that he's dead to him and walks out of the meeting room, he doesn't even tell him: What you did is bad and you have to face and deal with the consequences on your own but I still love you. Nah homes legit just said "Bye ur ded 2 meh."

Fernando knew his characters and their moral standing as well as purpose for the story and that alone is what separates these fathers and allows us as viewers to interpret their lives outside of the big screen(ikik he didn't expect it to be such a huge thing but let me boost this dead man's ego, too soon?).

And for the closing argument:

Betty's insecurities were not in part or any part, due to to her father. Who had an authoritative parent style —y'all should look those up if you want a further understanding of parental styles and what roles they have in the development of their child. While yes her social awkwardness is a consequence and domino effect of Don Hermes short leash, it is not fully and completely his fault.

They are in part and completely due to society and their treatment of her and that's the moral of showing a loving father and an insecure daughter.

Society rejected Betty for simply existing, without giving her the chance to be herself, to give love. Society taunted, teased, bullied, traumatized, and abused her and for what? To show power over her? To take out their own insecurities onto her? No matter how much her father could love her, how much he told her she was beautiful in her own way, who adored her and encouraged her to achieve her goals and set high expectations for herself, it was never enough because the outside world hated her for simply and only breathing!

Trying to blame Don Hermes, trying to point the finger to him is rejecting and neglecting the vitality of Fernando's commentary on society and the way it treats women, especially women who are not the status quo. Betty is only treated well, respected, and not made fun of by society when she no longer is "ugly" while she is still the same person within that she was from that start(more confident and sure of herself as a professional and a woman) society doesn't care, now she's pretty and it isn't until then that they think and believe she is deserving of human decency.

That's the whole point! That's the whole reason of Betty's role in the novela! The purpose of her character! That while she was ugly she was still so kind, loving, pure, and trying to see the good in others, despite the trauma she's faced in life. Society still deems to dehumanize her and cause her harm and it isn't until AFTER she has a physical transformation that they decide to treat her like a human!(I'm not directly talking about Marce, Patty, or Hugo and especially Daniel but rather society outside of Eco Moda.). The commentary of how society prefers mean, rude, selfish, and arrogant beautiful people rather that good, kind, loving, and selfless "ugly" people and if that moral of the story, which is the biggest reason of the story existing, doesn't translate to you, what are you doing?

Her lack of knowledge of men while is also a domino effect of her father's over protectiveness it also and in part the trauma of it, is because of society. Little girls who grew up being teased, bullied constantly over our looks that grow into teen and women hood still being bullied over our looks makes us feel un-womanly and undesired that even the small gesture of affection makes us believe that maybe we are worthy, not of love, but attention not only as women but human, is damaging! Again, dismissing this and blaming Don Hermes ignores the issues that society has and it takes away our responsibility and accountability in this issue.

I rest my case!

Don Hermes is a good father who is not to blame for Betty's insecurities or self-worth issues!

Husband... he isn't the best one.

I'd need to make a part two for that part of his character and right now I'm beat, sleep deprived again and my head and neck hurt as well as my back.

Again ignore any grammar mistakes.

Til next time! :)

[EDIT: There is so many obvious examples in the novela that prove how loving Don Hermes is towards Betty that I didn't mention in the post. Understanding the culture, the era, and his dynamic was a lot more important imo to talk about so it could explain his irrational behavior and the process of writing a character. It's a lot of research and really important to be able to have well written characters. If any of you would like to comment an instant in which Don Hermes showed how much he loved Betty, feel free to comment it :)]

[youwontlikethisblog]

this healthline article is about to make me fucking lose it

[youwontlikethisblog]

TLOU Vent?

Don't get me wrong, I love The Last Of Us HBO reedition. It's good, it's amazing. I know that in order to keep long time fans still on the edge of their seats they need to change up a few things and remove, add, or slow down some elements to keep it fresh, y'know? I'm not mad about it.

However, there's certain things that bug the hell out of me. I've played the game more times than I can count so I was absolutely scared of a show ruining it for me. I told my little brother "They don't need to make a show out of it when the game itself is like a movie. It's a masterpiece and they're milking the success from it." but the trailer pumped me the hell up and by release day I was watching it.

I loved the first two episodes because they were very similar to the game and it gave me high hopes.

However, this is where the buts and the bugs come out.

In the game there was some heavy emotional scenes that made me cry, no matter how many times I've played the game or watched others play it; I cry. In the show, no matter how much I know the next scene will make me cry, I don't. It's like the tap is about to be turned on for all tears to flow but then, nothing.

I think a lot of it has to do with the acting, which don't get me wrong, it's not bad. The actors are great! However, WHERE'S THE PASSION? WHERE'S THE UMPTH? THE FIRE? I think it's a director's fault as well. Like yeah, I get he wanted to make it its own thing, for the actors to make the characters their own instead of playing somebody else playing those characters, but you miss the big reasons why people fell in love with the game all together by depriving them from understanding why the characters were iconic to begin with. They simply know the characters are because people said they were.

It often feels like I'm being told that Eli and Joel are good friends and that it didn't take time for Joel to warm up to Eli; when it did. Joel had lost his daughter and hadn't healed from it. Eli had no parental figures in her life and she was snarky and combative and while the show doesn't dismiss that, it feels like I'm being told this instead of being shown!

If a season 2 comes out, I hope they fix this but truth be told, I'm not ready for season 2 and you know why!

On a side note I really wanted Papa Joel(Troy Baker) and Daddy Joel(Pedro Pascal) to at least interact in one scene this last episode! You know how iconic that would've been? A missed opportunity!

#the last of us #joel miller #Eli #tlou hbo

[youwontlikethisblog]

I think there's a real tragedy in the way straight men don't see themselves the same way that people who are attracted to men see them. If you ask a straight man to describe what an attractive man looks like, there's very little variety - the masculine male ideal is tall, broad-shouldered, square-jawed with a cleft chin and built of sculpted muscle. The stereotypical image of an Alpha Male, someone whom he could respect, and envy.

And sure, there are plenty of women, gay men and people of all sorts who are attracted to to this specific type, even exclusively attracted to it, there is so much more variety in this, both in the tastes and their subjects.

The stereotype of "hot wife, ugly husband"-couples was drawn from the observations of straight men, from their own perspective. Women going after men that men find unattractive makes no sense to them, and they figure that women are willing to overlook being ugly if a man's funny, smart or rich enough. If a woman insists that she's attracted to a specific man who isn't attractive by their standards, they'll assume that she's lying.

The tragic part is when a man who believes himself to be ugly grows bitter over this, developing a foul personality which people do find repulsive, and then uses their repeated experiences of being romantically rejected as proof that they're physically unattractive, insisting that surely women would overlook his heinousness if only he was tall and muscular enough, and had the right bone structure. The self-feeding vicious cycle of being a bitter incel is born.

The thing about "ugly men with a good personality can still be attractive" is that they're usually not even ugly. Some people do genuinely find fat and hairy men, thin and delicate men, short men and feminine men attractive. There's as much variety as in cheese, you can't compare aura to brie. And just like in cheese, as long as you're not toxic, somebody's into that. You just need to find the right wine to compliment it.

#I loved this

[youwontlikethisblog]