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#Merry Christmas Friend! I hoped to write you something else but it just plain refuses to cooperate. Like at all.
averbaldumpingground · 4 months
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Song Prompt: Alibi by Mansionair
The colors of the seiðr fill his dreams, a tapestry his fingers almost touch, the workings of a fate he knows he's lost his chance for. But even from these galaxies away, he knows the whispered secrets of her longing, the constellations forming in her hands.
The knowing is perhaps the worst of what he hopes is penance. Knowing her growing frustration, the silence that surrounds her in her empty dwelling, a temporary life he thinks she knows his brother has no place in. He cannot reach her. He can do nothing to comfort the hurt that he finds himself drawn to, her dedicated isolation.
The threads that bound him to her are severed, only a mocking reminder of what, for just the glimpse of her face, could have been. Here, apart, the seiðr almost taunts him with that shadows of her life it shows: her umber hair, curled on a decorative pillow, her parted mouth, her languid eyes in the morning. The darkness is gone from them. The hunger, the power, they're gone.
And was it that, the other that his fate entwined with? The magic more ancient than he? The future, cut off as it is, gives no answer.
He hopes, perhaps, it might have been so.
Because, were it her, the visions he wakes to are crueler: laughter and warm, gentle hands; moonlight, and bare, bony shoulders. Grey in her hair and in his. Someone to see through his lying.
A universe. A universe that never formed. That never can come into being.
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malecsecretsanta · 5 years
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Merry Christmas, @shipnotised!
Read on AO3
*****
My Telltale Heart
“Wow. You look like crap.”
Alec did indeed look like crap, and he knew that; 11am was too early to start a Saturday shift in general, let alone when he’d been up until 4am writing feverishly. He still gave Duncan an incredibly unimpressed glare, though.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t do my make-up on lunch break, but I was too busy trying not to throw myself out of the window,” he said, voice as flat as his patience was thin. He ignored Lindsay in the corner, proclaiming that a “mood”.
“Well if you need make-up tips, you can always ask Magnus,” he snickered.
“Stop being a dick to him,” Lindsay said from the depths of her locker.
“Who the fuck is Magnus?” Alec asked.
“One of the new temps lol,” Duncan answered, literally saying “lol” with his mouth and
annoying Alec even more – which he didn’t think possible. “Linds thinks he’s handsome.”
“He IS handsome.”
Duncan snorted. “And obviously gay. He wears makeup. Everyone knows him already Alec, I can’t believe you don’t.”
Alec had already shut his locker – a little too forcefully after Duncan’s comment – and had started making his way out of the room, but turned to address him anyway.
“Like Lindsay said, quit being a dick.” She nodded sagely in the background, validated. “He probably looks better in makeup than you do without. Besides, I never usually learn people’s names unless they’re obviously going to stay and be important to me. But maybe I’ll make an effort for this Magnus – what do you think, Dennis?” He smirked and shrugged lightly before leaving the room and getting back to work. He distinctly heard Lindsay’s laughter behind him.
It was a Saturday though, and he was entirely too busy to give this mysterious Magnus much thought in amongst mentally ranting at every asshole who thought it was okay to leave half empty coffee cups all over his shop. He ran the whole mens floor more often than not, which was fine, he could handle that. What wasn’t fine was the absolute clowns he had been saddled with that day. Surely, it wasn’t that hard to read a label and work out where, roughly, an item belonged? It was fortunate that all the tills were staffed so he wasn’t needed there. He fucking hated the tills.
Obviously, the two new kids with him that day just had to leave dead on time, leaving him to effectively close up the entire floor on his own. By the time 10pm rolled around, he was cursing under his breath. Was it so hard for people to put things back where they’d gotten them from?
“As wonderfully colourful as you’re painting the air, can I offer any assistance?” came a voice from behind him, making Alec realise that his muttering hadn’t been quite as under his breath as he’d thought. He turned, either to justify himself or apologise – he hadn’t quite decided – but the words caught in his throat once he’d saw the owner of the voice. It was quite a voice, and this man was quite the owner. He made the simple all black uniform requirement look haute couture, with a brocade waistcoat over the plain button up shirt, and rings that looked far nicer than anything on display in the jewellery counter on the floor below.
“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced,” said the beautiful man, offering a hand out to Alec. “I’m Magnus.”
“Alec,” he offered as freely as his smile. He fumbled with the multipack of socks he was still holding before taking Magnus’s hand, holding it perhaps a little longer than strictly necessary. It didn’t seem like Magnus minded.
“We should- are you sure? It’s late,” Alec stumbled out eventually.
“I’m positive. If it’s late for me, then it’s late for you too, Alec.”
“Thank you,” he conceded. “It’s just the rest of this-“ he gestured vaguely to the area around him – “to do.”
There was truthfully only about another half hours work in it for him, but with Magnus assisting him in comfortable silence, they were done in under fifteen. Alec took a moment to slyly check whether he’d have to stay a little longer just to make sure the sections he hadn’t done himself were acceptable – Magnus was new, and Alec had high standards – but it was with relief that Alec noted Magnus clearly knew what he was doing.
“Do you have to get someone to check before we leave?” Magnus asked.
“Normally, yeah, but they trust me to get it right. Thank you, Magnus, I really appreciate it,” Alec said, with a sincerity his colleagues rarely got to hear.
“Well, you definitely don’t look a damsel, but I can’t resist aiding someone in distress,” Magnus said succinctly, with a twinkle in his eye that intrigued Alec. He didn’t make friends that easily, but there was something about Magnus that he really couldn’t quantify. He felt like they could be very good friends, and he found that, unlike himself, he wasn’t averse to trying.
“I’m this way,” Alec indicated, once they’d signed out and left the store. The early November air was biting at this time of night, his ears an unfortunate victim.
“Ah, I’m the opposite. Will I see you tomorrow?”
“No, I got lucky and get Sundays off. Monday?”
Magnus grimaced. “I’m a student, I can only work weekends unfortunately. I guess I’ll see you next week then, Alexander.”
The use of his full name startled him, though not as much as the realisation that he didn’t mind it when it came from Magnus. “Yeah, Um, how did you-“
“Lucky guess,” Magnus smiled. “Do you mind it?”
“I think I’ll let you call me that,” Alec smiled back. “Good night, Magnus.”
“Good night, Alexander.”
And so it was that they spent every Saturday lunch break together. Alec was always scheduled for the long shift, and while Magnus’s shifts only ever started as soon as Alec’s breaks would finish, he was always around an hour early. Alec asked him about it, and Magnus shrugged.
“My lunch options are more varied around here,” he said.
Alec asked Magnus a lot of things, and answered just as many. He took Magnus to Taki’s, a little nearby diner that did amazing spanakopita and other Greek pastries. Thalia, the old lady running the place, had long taken a shine to Alec and insisted on giving him free treats – he accepted, purely on the basis that he’d sneak a good tip in when she wasn’t looking. She knew, and he knew she knew, but they didn’t speak about it. What was important was that she took a great liking to Magnus too, especially when he spoke to her in broken Greek.
“You speak Greek?” he asked, on their first visit there.
“Only a little,” Magnus conceded. “I speak a few other languages somewhat fluently, and figured since I’m good at them, I may as well learn them.”
It turned out that Magnus knew Spanish, French, and Italian (“once you’ve got one romance language down you’ve basically got the others”), a little Greek, a little Dutch, and was fluent in Indonesian. Alec found out that Magnus was actually from Indonesia, though moved as a young teen to America to live with his father. He eventually moved to New York when he refused to join the “family business” – whatever that was, Magnus never specified – and was a grad student studying particle physics now.
Alec, in turn, told Magnus about his family, about sharing an apartment with his siblings and he and Jace working so Izzy could focus on med school. He told Magnus about his mother and Max, trying to help how they could even though they were left with very little after Robert left them. He even told Magnus about Robert, about him being that cold kind of homophobic that tolerated him, but did not accept him.
They spent one memorable Saturday at the very start of December discussing books. Alec didn’t usually allow himself to get carried away in conversation, sweeping hand gestures punctuating his words, but he was talking about something he loved and – well. He trusted Magnus enough to be himself with him, to live a little more freely – similar, but even more so, to how he was with Izzy and Jace.
“I just- stories are such an inherently human art, you know? The best stories echo through time in their original forms simply because humans don’t change all that much, despite era or culture. That’s the goal,” he rambled. Magnus frowned a little, head tilting, and Alec thought that it might have been the cutest thing he’d ever seen a person do – and Max was a cute child.
“Do you write, Alexander?” he asked. Alec froze.
“I-“ he licked his lips, and leaned in. Magnus did the same, and Alec lowered his voice. “Don’t tell anyone, but… yeah. I do. Not even Jace and Izzy know. I don’t know why I don’t tell them, it’s not like I’ll ever get published, but…”
“It’s nice to have something for yourself,” Magnus finished.
“Yeah,” Alec smiled. “You read my mind. Maybe one day, I’ll put it out there, but for now,” he simply shrugged.
“If you ever decide to put your writing out there, I’ll be first in line. Knowing you, I have no doubt it’ll be incredible.”
The sheer belief that Magnus had in him, the trust after only four weeks, broke something down in Alec that he had no idea he’d even built. Suddenly, he wanted Magnus to know him like no one else – or maybe, it wasn’t sudden at all.
He leant down, rummaging around in the small bag he brought with him and pulling out his tattered cheap notebook, flicking it to the most recent page. He carried it with him to work, favoured green pen tucked into the spiral binding, in case inspiration struck him while commuting or on break (he would always leave the store on lunch, even Before Magnus – and wasn’t it something, that Alec was separating his life into Before Magnus and After Magnus?). Alec mostly wrote fiction, short stories, poured out his frustrations and lived his wildest dreams in them, and yet, on that morning’s train, he’d found himself hit with a three-quarter formed idea and rushed to scribble it down.
It was a sonnet, structured like Shakespeare’s ones, and its underlying tone was… hopeful. New beginnings, new bonds, change that was welcome. He consciously made another change now, in sliding the notebook over to Magnus.
“This came to me on the train this morning, so uh – I don’t know if it’s any good. But I trust you to be honest with me if it sucks,” he laughed nervously, hands starting to rub themselves nervously without a conscious thought.
Magnus was silent as he read, and though he read quickly, it seemed to Alec like a whole hour passed, rather than a minute. He watched Magnus read, watched his eyes widen, until Magnus looked up at him with a look on his face of… awe?
“Alexander,” he said, voice hushed. “This is incredible.”
“You… think so?” he replied, blush beginning to rise. Magnus nodded.
“You have a real skill for words, darling. None of the languages I speak could be as beautiful as your own.”
Alec smiled, a soft shy thing, as he gently took the notebook back from Magnus and closed it. He felt impossibly light, a burden he hadn’t realised was weighing on him as much as it had relieved.
“We have to go back now, but – it’d be nice to talk about writing with someone. Can I text it to you, sometime?”
“Absolutely,” grinned Magnus, exchanging numbers with Alec as they walked back to work.
Alec realised, two Sundays after he’d first gotten Magnus’s number, that he had no idea if Magnus was coming to that night’s work Christmas party. He certainly had never made his intentions of going clear, and now Magnus was already at work, so he couldn’t just ask.
Parties weren’t often Alec’s thing, but he did enjoy them now and then, and it wasn’t as if he hated his colleagues or anything. He just felt… out of place. To be perfectly honest, he felt that way most of the time, except around his family, while writing, or with Magnus.
Perhaps it should scare him, that Magnus felt a little like belonging. It didn’t.
He dressed reasonably appropriately for the night, tan wool overcoat and beanie part of his outfit, not just accessories, and charcoal shirt with the top few buttons undone despite the cold. He’d been something of a boring dresser once, before he’d come out, all large sweaters and baggy jeans – but now, while fashion still didn’t speak to him as such, he knew what he liked and how to dress and wore sharp, clean, well-fitting clothes. It wasn’t even a conscious decision, really, but the internet always said you dressed better after coming out and he supposed that had happened to him as well.
He wasn’t out out, but he wasn’t hiding anything either. It was no one’s prerogative to know everything about him unless he wanted them to.
Ten to eight, Alec found himself sat with a bunch of his colleagues waiting for those who had just finished work to join them. Magnus wasn’t already there, and he hoped that he would be showing up with the others, else Alec would probably just head home after the meal and text Magnus all night instead.
That was what they usually did, anyway.
He needn’t have considered alternate plans, though – as Magnus strolled in with the latecomers looking like an untouchable god.
He’d shaved, for a start, and put dark pink highlights in his hair – he’d not had them yesterday at lunch – and he wore a stunning crushed red velvet blazer. Red was certainly Magnus’s colour, Alec thought. He didn’t think about the fact that he noticed how tight Magnus’s pants were, or the fact that Alec couldn’t take his eyes off his friend.
Magnus seemed to be looking for something, and Alec began to stand to greet him, which led Magnus to look his way. He smiled at the sight of Alec, and Alec smiled back, heart leaping, as Magnus made his way over.
“Got you a drink,” Alec said, indicating the two on the table in front of him.
“After that day, I certainly need one. Thank you, Alexander,” said Magnus, resting his hand on Alec’s shoulder as he leant to pick up the drink. “Dark and Stormy?” Alec shrugged.
“It sounded nice, so I thought I’d try it.”
“Good choice, darling. Shall we go be seated?”
They managed to sit next to each other throughout the whole meal, and while Magnus entertained those in the vicinity – like a king holding court, Alec thought, all his subjects enthralled and enamoured – most of their attention was on them alone.
The food was decent, surprisingly good for the place they were in, and the free drinks meant the empty glasses began accumulating steadily. The air buzzed with merriment, and even Alec was laughing freely.
“Hey, everyone’s heading down to Pandemonium now,” Magnus whispered into Alec’s ear.
“Mmm? Are you going with?”
“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to stop by a store, get some cheap wine, and come back to mine.”
Alec grinned. He wanted nothing more.
Magnus’s place was huge. A penthouse full of oddities and books and incredible art, for a grad student? Even Tipsy Alec was confused by it all, and Tipsy Alec was so much more of a dumbass than Sober Alec. As Magnus closed the door behind them, coming forward to take the bag from Alec’s hands, he noticed the expression on Alec’s face and seemed to read his mind.
“This place is the one gift I accepted from my father. I had… a sizeable trust fund, all legally in my name, nothing he could do about it, and I used it to buy this place after I’d left. I didn’t want to touch his money, but he never wanted me to come here, so - it seemed like a perfectly good ‘fuck you’.”
“It’s a pretty good fuck you, as fuck yous go. You know, I’m surprised you don’t like parties,” Alec said.
Magnus waved his hand nonchalantly. “Oh, I love parties. I’d just much rather hang out with you.”
And fuck, if that weren’t something right there.
Magnus and Alec found themselves sharing just one bottle of wine, far too busy talking to drink, simply enjoying each other’s company when not talking, enough that alcohol simply wasn’t necessary. As a fire crackled in the grate in front of the seating area, Magnus showed Alec his books, told wild travel stories for each trinket, regaled Alec with stories that while they could be those he told when winning friends and captivating hearts, Alec just knew that these were for him and him alone. Magnus had just told a story from his youth where he pretended to be his own father to get out of detention, and that it had somehow worked despite it being a face-to-face conversation, and Alec couldn’t stop giggling, which seemed to set Magnus off laughing too.
“Gods, I was such a little brat when I was with him. Still would be, probably, had I not met Cat and Ragnor and left.”
“Was it hard to leave? With your dad doing… whatever it is he does.”
Magnus’s eyes narrowed quizzically, but warmly. “My father owns a pharmaceutical company that jacks up the prices of literally everything. What did you think he might do, Alexander?”
“Honestly, thought he might be a mob boss, but that’d probably be better,” Alec said. “I see why you want to distance yourself from him.”
“Mmm. You’re one of three people who know about him, here.”
“I’m- Cat, Ragnor, and… me?” Magnus nodded at Alec’s incredulous tone.
“I trust you,” he said, warm brown eyes unwavering from Alec’s own.
“Thank you. For what it’s worth, and this may be selfish, but I’m kinda glad it led you here.”
“Yeah?” asked Magnus, twisting his body round so that he was sat cross legged on the couch, back resting against the arm and facing Alec, who was sprawled out so that his torso lay on the couch, head on the arm rest, and longs legs bent resting on the floor. “Be selfish for a second for me. Why?”
“If you hadn’t realised what a jerk he was, you wouldn’t be in New York. And if you hadn’t cut yourself off… you wouldn’t have needed a job to support you. And I wouldn’t have met you. I’m sorry, if that’s rude, but… I’m really glad I met you,” Alec steamrollered, knowing that if he didn’t get it out now he might never do it again out of stubbornness.
“I’m really glad I met you too, Alexander. Makes being yelled at for not returning things from last year worth it.” Magnus laughed softly then, and so did Alec, a shared experience joining them. Magnus heaved a sigh then, and Alec furrowed his brow.
“Alexander… how drunk would you say you are? I’m completely sober, unfortunately.”
Alec took a second to ponder it, but he needn’t have – they’d been sat there for a few hours, and were only halfway through their shared bottle of wine. The only thing he was intoxicated by was Magnus’s presence, the warmth radiating from him that had little to do with actual temperature and everything to do with the comfort and serenity that Magnus brought him.
“If it makes you feel better about it, I’m completely sober too,” Alec said. “But that’s okay. Being here at 2am is way more fun than any club could be.”
“Good, I’m glad you – that’s good. Alexander, tell me if this is too forward, but…” Magnus trailed off, eyes closed and breathing deeply, as if to steady himself.
“But what?”
Magnus shook his head, and swallowed, before he leant down and forward and pressed his lips to Alec’s.
It was relatively chaste, all things considered, but Alec felt his world turn on its head. Magnus tasted of wine, and chocolate, and home, and Alec closed his eyes and let himself feel. His lips were soft, and as Alec chased them, it hit him that he was halfway to falling in love with the man, and he hadn’t even noticed that that was what it was.
They separated, yet Magnus didn’t go far; Alec opened his eyes to see Magnus still hovering a few inches over him, his own eyes gazing into Alec’s own. Alec’s lips quirked into a smile.
“That was-“
“Yeah,” Magnus breathed out, and returned Alec’s soft, shy smile with one of his own, to which Alec, surprising himself with his boldness, rose up and kissed again.
The difference this time, as they sat up together, was that they could barely stop smiling to really kiss, but neither cared. Their laughter mingled between them in the firelit room, Alec’s admission that he’d never been kissed before at 24 simply encouraging Magnus to kiss him more, barely noticing when the embers started to settle, tangled up in each other on the couch with this new thing between them, that had somehow always been present.
“Stay the night, Alexander? It’s late, we don’t have to do anything, just… stay?”
“Magnus, there’s- there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
No one commented on the spring in Alec’s step the next morning, and he was grateful; he didn’t exactly want to tell them he’d been woken up with a kiss from a man who made his heart sing, after falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. That was his alone to rejoice in.
The next two weeks were much the same as their last five; a whirlwind of texts and soft smiles when their eyes met at work, among the many “no, we’re all sold out of those now” to people who left their Christmas shopping until a week before the date and were surprised everything had gone – like it didn’t happen every year. The only difference was that now they held hands over the table at Taki’s as they spoke, Thalia beaming at them whenever they stole kisses while sharing pastries. They didn’t notice that, though.
They spoke more about dating, than before; previously, Alec had always carried a small burden of shame that he’d never been in a relationship, but Magnus, with all his experience in good and bad relationships, never treated it as a set back in any way. He had a knack for making Alec feel comfortable in his own skin.
“I’m covering a shift tomorrow, by the way,” Alec said, after a few minutes of silent contemplation. Magnus quirked an eyebrow.
“My last day,” he said. “Can’t say I’m sad, but the place did bring me you, so…”
Alec snorted. “Run while you still can. I’ll just miss seeing you at lunch every Saturday.”
“Well, I still have Saturdays free. I see no reason why I can’t still meet you every so often – it might do me good to get out of the house and work on my paper.”
“Yeah?” Alec grinned, indescribably happy. Neither of them had defined what was between them yet, and that was okay; it was like they were still the best of friends, with the added bonus of kissing, and yet Alec was still surprised that Magnus, beautiful, kind, intelligent Magnus, wanted to spend time with him, read his writing and told him it was masterful, urged Alec to be a better version of himself simply by being there.
“Yeah,” Magnus grinned back. “Also we should go back.” He laughed at Alec’s groan.
“Ah ah ah!” they heard Thalia shout as they left the café. Alec turned, curious; it’s not as if they’d forgotten to pay – had they left anything? “Look above, just for you two loves,” she yelled happily.
Magnus chuckled. “Mistletoe, Alexander. Shall we?”
Alec laughed, and leant in, and made a note to ring Thalia later and leave his number, so she could send him the photo she very obviously took.
Sunday was like every Sunday, but times ten; he’d agreed to cover someone in the ladies department for a change of pace, and was kinda wishing he hadn’t. He had, at least, made plans with Magnus to get dinner and spend the night, which powered him through the chaotic day.
Before they could escape however, Jia, the store manager, gathered everyone around the doors. Alec groaned inwardly. He’d forgotten that she did this every year, giving them all a speech about how high the quality of seasonal staff was, and how it being the 23rd it was most of their last days anyway, and blah blah blah. Alec mostly tuned it out in favour of his favourite activity – looking at Magnus.
“Gonna miss your lunch date, Lightwood?” Duncan called out once Jia had apparently finished, laughing, though nobody laughed with him. Alec smiled, knowing exactly what he had to, and wanted to, do. He lifted his arm to embrace Magnus shoulders as he moved to his side, not needing words to know what Alec planned, arm snaking around Alec’s waist and hand settling comfortably on his hip.
“Well, now we’re no longer co-workers – I guess Magnus’ll just have to settle for being my boyfriend instead, huh?” Alec raised an eyebrow, daring Duncan to say anything. By the look of his reddening face, he had nothing, suitably ashamed by the smiles on every other associates faces – even Jia cracked a smile, and Alec thought he heard Simon whooping as Magnus pulled his face in for a quick, yet tender, kiss.
“We’ll just have to go on more actual dates, I suppose… boyfriend,” Magnus said to him as they left, Magnus for the last time as a staff member.
They’d agreed not to get each other gifts, Alec thought; and had ended up giving each other the best gift they could possibly have gotten. Alec had a boyfriend for Christmas for the first time ever, and as he held him close, Alec resolved that he’d never let him go.
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