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sometimesrosy · 5 years

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The 100 rewatch S5: Red Queen

I liked this episode. Even though I wanted to see Clarke and spacekru when it aired, it’s a good episode.

Fair warning. I always warn when I am anti someone. I am anti Kara Cooper. Honestly. That Biotch. I’ve got nothing redeemable for her except she’s fun to hate. If you’re a Kara Cooper fan be aware.

This one’s kinda long. Under the cut. I’m having problems with the tags so if these don’t notify you can you tell me? Something weird is going on with the formatting and I don’t know what is with the weird type. Funkiness. If you want me to tag you for the rest of the episodes, send me a note. :)

@captainwilldameron @kizo2703 . @levivlio . @kickthatassgirl . @jeanie205 . @starboybellamy . @ezraewrites . @alightinadarkland @emmyisgrey @irisouy @noodlesthehedgehog

46 days after praimfaya and Octavia and Miller are sparring and smiling. This always makes me feel like if things had been different in wonkru, if they hadn’t been unrepentant tribal warmongers, fighting each other, trying to take from the others, then Octavia could have healed and not become a monster. I mean she didn’t want to be the leader, but she didn’t have a choice. Indra wants to dress her up in the heda outfit though O doesn’t want to. She doesn’t look happy.

Oh hai Niylah. She found her Ovid to remind her of Bellamy reading to her. Wait. That means Niylah is literate. And Gaia. Gaia and Indra are fighting over the religious support. Indra says the real commanders would have let her burn.

Now they’re talking about killing people for stealing blankets. “What punishment does Oslea impose?”

“For stealing blankets? Give them back.” Honestly Octavia’s best line in 5 seasons.

OH they hear someone outside pounding on the door. Kane and Abby are dressed to go out. They haven’t spoken in a month. Abby knows it’s Clarke. “It’s a night blood that knows where we are. Who else could it be?”

BUT THE DOOR WON’T OPEN. “If the building’s collapsed…”

“She’s not getting in.”

“We’re not getting out.” BOOM OUT.

Kara runs the hydroponic farm like she did on the Ark. WELL SHE”S CRAP AT IT. If Monty were there none of this would have happened. He got that shit up and running in like THREE DAYS.

Jaha. Nice to see you Jaha. He looks better with the bald head. I like it. There are no vulnerabilities to the bunker they can’t dig out. And Kara is like, “oh yeah we’re going to die. We can’t feed everyone and it’s your fault Octavia for forcing your own people into that fire. YOU HAD NO RIGHT. Jaha found it. It belonged to us.” Tribalism. Don’t think the arkers aren’t just as tribalistic as the grounders. Dumbasses all. Kara’s father died in the culling on the ark and her husband didn’t make the cut in the second culling.

Indra Kane and Abby are like we have to set guards and have delegates and too many people. Octavia is like, “I’m the leader” They’ll go to half rations. At dinner, Abby is sitting with Jackson and Miller. Kane sits with Jaha and Ethan, because Abby won’t talk to him.

“We didn’t even know if it was Clarke.”

“What matters is not what we know but what we believe.” Jaha is spilling spiritual/political knowledge and Kane is like, yeah that’s not science. Lol But he’s still glad he talked him out of fighting Octavia for this place.

Oh Kara tries to keep Jaha in the cafeteria.

Jackson and Miller are being sweet. And Abby likes that. As she’s taking more pills. She says the headaches will stop but they don’t.

Oh distraction. Someone has a seizure and distracts the guards while someone locks the door and knocks out Kane. “We’re taking back what’s ours.” OH it was Kara faking the seizure. She started out a bitch and she never got better. If you’re a Kara Cooper fan, you’re not going to find a friend in me.

Kara has the plans. “We’re gonna live. And though it might be unfair, they’re not.” And she restrains Kane and Abby “because I don’t kill my own people. Even the one’s responsible for the deaths of my father and husband.” (Oh RLLY Kara Cooper? We’re gonna watch you kill your co-conspirators with a sword in a few minutes. So much for not killing your own.)

“Abby had nothing to do with that.’

“Abby opened the door. I wonder if you would have done that if he was already safe inside.” Incompetent. Bitter. And Vengeful.

Abby describes death by starvation to try and get Kara to open the door. “The first to die will be the lucky ones. They won’t have to fight the temptation to eat their friends.” Fine. Foreshadowing.

Jaha reading The Giving Tree. You know not everyone likes that story. Niylah does. Too late. Grounders attacking sky crew. Niylah hides with Ethan. Jaha fights. Octavia saves him.

Octavia didn’t want to kill them to punish them. Miller’s not in the cafeteria either. Miller takes Ethan away from Jaha . “I wantto stay with youuu.” Jeez. Tearjerker.

Octavia wants Jaha to be an engineer again. Open the door. I like Octavia here. She’s doing good. She had hope to heal and become better, but…

Niylah says hell is breaking loose. Gaia says it’s not hell it’s who we are. Octavia believes she’s wrong, they’re Wonkru. But Gaia says without a commander they are warring clans, that’s how it’s always been. Gaia you’re not helping.

Jaha though is the engineer and he does things. But he’s hurt. And ignores it. But he’s going to take the electricity and short out the lock. But he can’t get to level D because it’s no man’s land and they’ll kill him. So Jaha is going to get in in disguise. Octavia takes off the heda gear and says “on me they’re symbols not targets” and Gaia looks at her mom like I TOLD YOU SO. Octavia gets to be a hero. Like Murphy. She feels IMPORTANT as a hero. She’s not so good as a queen. She’s a knight, not a queen. Jaha won’t let her save the person being beaten. And she discovers he’s been stabbed. He’s going to sacrifice himself to open that door. Jaha ALSO likes being a hero, but he doesn’t mind being a king.

Even if you find a way to take the farm back, there’s still too many people in the bunker. Jaha says there always have been. WHY DIDN”T YOU ASSHOLES MAKE THE NUMBER SMALLER THEN?????

Abby and Kane are still chained up. No more half rations though. Jackson wants to fight back because Miller’s out there, she tells him no. “Imagine that. Wanting to save the person he loves.”

“You took away my choice.” But he says he made the right call because she was a doctor. “Really then why were you willing to float me on the ark?” Snarky.

Jaha is losing it.He’s going to give her wisdom. He’s sorry about how hard it was for her. Sure now that she’s valuable. “Like it or not, we are your people.”

He won’t connect the wires until Octavia promises to protect the sky people on the inside of the farm. When he has the word that she makes them stand down then he’ll open the door.

“I am not a leader. I’m a fighter. A warrior.

“And a warrior needs a war and an enemy. On the ark we made death the enemy. That’s how we survived. And anyone who did anything to push us closer to death was eliminated. You hate me because I floated your m other but when she broke the law she pushed us closer to death. So she made herself the enemy.”

Octavia doesn’t like that. “So now you know what it takes to lead.” THAT IS NOT WHAT IT MEANS TO LEAD. Stupid Arkers. Honestly, I know he’s generally well intentioned with his injustice, with the way he dismisses the unworthy, but I do not think that’s okay. Keeping order by oppressing those you deem inconsequential is NOT GOOD. It’s what caused the rebellion on the ark in the first place.

Someone is playing guitar as people sleep on the floor of the cafeteria. Kane, and Abby in withdrawal. Kane says,“I couldn’t bear to lose you. I’d just gotten you back. The world was ending before our very eyes and I thought I could weather any storm as long as you were by my side but you weren’t by my side because you decided you didn’t deserve what we had, you didn’t deserve to survive. How could you ever think that I would be able to carry you outside and shut the door. I’m sorry but I’m not that strong I would do the same thing a thousand times. Did you ever regret opening the door to save me.”

She can’t even speak just shakes her head.

Uh oh. Someone’s pounding on the door. Kara wants the dude to play louder and Jackson almost grabs Kara’s gun. Here’s Octavia.

“I can open the door.”

“The do it skairipa so we can rid ourselves of your honorless people once and for all.” You know. Those damn grounders have been blaming the sky people for existing since s1. They can save the grounders from destruction, defend themselves, defeat the grounders mortal enemies, prove their heroism, stop a computer from takin over their very minds, but the grounders will STILL blame them. SoMETIMES I wish Clarke had just stolen the damn thing. Look what ended up happening because the grounders AND the dumb skaikru couldn’t stop with their MY PEOPLE crap. I wish Clarke and Bellamy could just have scammed the bunker and told Niylah to find them some decent non combatants and they’d just snuck into the thing BUT NO they have to play by the stupid grounder rules which are actually BARBARIC. “Oh you think we’re savages.” YES ROAN YOU ARE SAVAGES. Trial by combat? DUMB. Children fighting to the death to become leaders? SAVAGES. Death for stealing blankets?? SAVAGES. They’re all dumb. Jasper was right. Gosh I hope Clarke and Bellamy can manage to good guys in season 6. Okay rant over.

Go kick some savage butt Octavia. Savage vs savage. You wanted savage? Get ready to bow down to your savage queen. Honestly, the sky people can beat you at that, too. Our delinquents go hard.

She’s making it wonkru, not just tribes. She starts fighting. Someone comes at her. She kills. Kills him. And him. You are WONKRU or you are the enemy of wonkru. Choose. Kill kill kill kill.

You are wonkru or you are the enemy of wonkru. CHOOSE> kill kill kill kill.

You are wonkru or you are the ENEMY OF WONKRU. Choose. Killl kill kill killl.

Heartbeat. You are wonkru. Or you are the enemy of wonkru. Choose…

They bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. All bow. Exeunt pursued by bear…. Or rather starvation, but you know. Jaha opens the door.

“Only the guilty.” Bye Kara. Oh no. She goes to shoot Kane, no she goes to shoot herself. But Octavia throws a knife into her gun hand. “It won’t be that easy.” (Hmmmm could that be foreshadowing of Octavia trying to get out of what she did by martyrdom?)

Now Jaha is dying. Abby goes to save him. Can’t. Remember the first time Abby had to save Jaha? Episode 1. Now his fight is over. He asks Octavia to take care of Ethan. “Take me home Marcus. Take me to my wife. Take me to Wells.” DAMN YOU I”VE GOT TEARS.

Travelers blessing. May we meet again.

Octavia crying, covered in blood. In comes Indra and Gaia. “Your people await justice.” Gaia doesn’t want her to be cleaned up. She doesn’t think Octavia is the commander, but she delivered them from praimfaya and from starvations, and she will deliver them back to the ground. (But who really does? I think it’s Bellamy. And delivered them to the ship. I’m still waiting for his mythic name to appear. We have Wanheda. Blodreina. What’s his?) The blood of our enemies IS her armor.

The first gladiator battle.

Jackson and Miller. “Nate I tried to stop it—“ “Shh. You’re a healer not a fighter. That’s why I love you.” So sweet.

Octavia commanding. Too many people in this bunker. “Each of you have committed crimes against wonkru and the punishment for this is death.” The boy is going to die for blankets after all. “This isn’t the ark and this isn’t the ground. There is no blood must have blood. In Rome the gladiators had the opportunity to fight for their freedom. So will you.

Who goes first? Kara. Farmer my ass. She kills everyone. Those are her people that she fought with, too.

Cut to a gladiator 6 years later. Kara is by Octavia’s side. Ethan is grown up. Gaia is blonde. Octavia is blodreina.

But if they fight and win the battle, why does Octavia get to say they are saved or not? Drama.

Oh here’s Kane. The combatant. Indra not happy.

#the 100 #rewatch #the 100 liveblog #liveblog #red queen #the 100 rewatch

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nervousalpacahologram · 5 years

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Bliss (NSF/W)

For @digital-paint

Whatever Coryn had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t this. Never in a thousand years would he have expected This.

When he had followed the words of the odd, scarred man; chasing rumors of Elven gold and silver, he expected bandits. It would have been a perfectly reasonable expectation; the borders and roads of the Empire having fallen weak since The Terror of the Sun had led his hateful siege engines against the Royals.

But instead of a bandit ambush, the forest had merely grown more tangled, as if made wild by magic. But the plants and formations that choked the forest were of no type he had ever seen before. No elven or wildling incantations. No magics came to mind as he viewed writhing vines and trees with eyes.

Fire was merely consumed, and as much as he hacked away, grew back even thicker, and dark red like blood. Soon, all he could do was force his way past trees of mouths and eyes and pits of plants, almost breathing like some living thing. He had just wanted to get this damned treasure and be off. But it was never simple.

And it had never been simple.

For when he forced his way in to the clearing, fleeing in terror from something, he stopped dead in his tracks. The sound of screaming, voices too horrific to be human, too joyful to belong in this green hell he had found himself in, faded back into the woods as he took in what was in front of him.

The ground was covered in vines, a carpet of pulsing tentacles that shifted and vibrated below his feet. Spires of wood breached the treetops, piercing into the sky above, obscured by leaves that shouldn’t have been there.

But the strangest sight were the People. They littered the place, bodies naked as the day they were born. Some lounged in hot springs, steam drifting into the air, while others lay supine amongst the vines and trees.

All of them were engaged in some depraved act, moans filling the steamy air. The vines moved on their own, pistoning inside and out of men and women, mouths and pussies and asses stretched wide around thick plants.

The men at the hot spring pushed large seeds out of their asses, moaning and gripping each other as they laid them like eggs. They kissed each other sloppily, fingering and coaxing the seeds out of each other.

A man and a woman were kissing each other. A Tentacle had pushed it’s way inside the mans ass along with a few fingers, holding it open as a slutty gape. As the woman pulled back, he saw the same tentacle that had gone up the man’s ass extending from his mouth to dive down the woman’s throat. In something approaching awe, he watched as the vine popped out of her ass, diving into her pussy.

Debauchery surrounded him, men and women fucking the same and opposite genders. And it wasn’t just humans. Elves and orcs, half-orc hybrids and a few Draconics, their scales colored pink.

A large Draconic, more dragon than humanoid and roughly 15 feet tall lay on his side, legs propped up by vines and branches. His belly is massive, sloshing to the side as some unknown plant the width of a smaller man pounds in and out of him, spilling green-white cum inside. His eyes are rolled back, tongue mindlessly lolling out of his mouth in a dumb, fucked-out bliss.

It was only when he had taken everything in that it all stopped, several pairs of hands reaching out of the woods to grasp him roughly. Before he knew it, he was being dragged to the center of the clearing. A massive structure of plants and vines. It looked almost like flesh.

A Man sat there. He was tall, odd, and scarred; and Coryn recognized him. It was the man who had told him of this place, had tricked him into entering whatever this was.

“Welcome my little one.” He grinned, showing off too-sharp, white teeth. They glinted in the light that penetrated the canopy of the clearing. The only problem was that it didn’t feel like sunlight. It was too cold to be sunlight.

“What the fuck do you want!” Coryn shouted, trying to leap forward, the hands at his back holding him still and bringing him to his knees. At least four men stood behind him, smirking softly.

“It’s all rather simple really. A demon with a grudge killed the Gods. There’s a gap that needs to be filled by something with a purpose. Every creature has a purpose, right?. Propagate. Reproduce. Breed. It’s nothing new.”

“It? What It?” Coryn stared as the man gestured all around him. At the flesh-like plants. The moving vines. The trees with eyes.

He was struck with a bolt of cold fear.

“This isn’t just a forest, is it?”

“Exactly. It’s so much More. It’s a Progenitor. It’s the Wild, and it wants to spread~.” Coryn started struggling once more, panicking as vines began to wrap around his ankles. “Don’t worry. It’s alright. Look at how everyone is feeling right now! Look at how happy, how content, how perfect they are now. Don’t you want to feel just like them?”

Coryn shook his head desperately, trying to will down the growing bulge in his pants. The idea was almost appealing. But he felt as if there was something darker underneath the surface. He obviously hadn’t willed down his erection enough when he realized that the Scarred Man’s eyes had trailed down and that he was Grinning.

“Look at how hard you are! You must want it so much! Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with admitting it…” He trailed off, kneeling down in front of him with a soft expression on his pitted features. “Fuck, you’re pretty.”

And with that, he gripped both sides of his head and brought their lips together roughly. Before he knew it, the man’s hand was undoing his belt and slipping his pants down. He almost didn’t feel the knife cut the fabric from his back, or almost didn’t smell the flytrap-shaped flower approaching his face.

What he did notice however, was the Scarred Man’s unnaturally long tongue force its way down his throat. But it didn’t taste like any tongue he had ever tasted. Instead it felt and tasted like a plant. Like a vine.

He pulled himself back, watching the long tongue-vine leave his mouth with a sensual slide.

“What’s wrong? Are you… Afraid?” He pursed his lips softly, gently gripping the flytrap that hovered next to him, attached to a long stalk. “There’s no need for fear. No need for anger, or sorrow, or hate. You’ll be happy. We’ll be happy. We’ll all be happy.”

With that, he placed the flower over Coryn’s face. He could barely struggle, held still by the hands on his back and a body that refused to respond. Which is why he didn’t move when the flower was attached, and a heavenly aroma filled his head.

It smelled like magnolias and sunlight and the wood of the cabin where he grew up. It smelled like his first Love, stolen from him too soon by the uncaring hand of the Lady of Plague. It smelled like lust and passion and soothing touches. It smelled like Love. That was the only way Coryn could put it.

He was rock hard, his cock bobbing freely in front of him, in full view of the Scarred man and the others that were holding him. But no, they weren’t holding him anymore. Not even the vines.

‘I can escape! I can get out and warn people!’ Was what he thought, but that part of him felt dull and far away. It felt unimportant. What was important was that he felt Good. That he felt, for some reason, loved.

And that’s when he felt it. A bolt of pleasure so intense that he almost blacked out. And it continued. It burned through him. Through his mind and heart and body. Until he felt it everywhere.

And then it was gone.

And he felt so, so empty.

The flower separated itself from his face, retreating into the plants and becoming inert. Falling back on the ground, Coryn franticly began to stroke himself, desperate for more pleasure. He whined when none came, replaced with a detached and empty feeling.

“Don’t worry little one, it’s ok. You might not be able to make yourself cum, but we all can.” He grinned at Coryn, who simply stared up at him, blue eyes wide. He made a squealing noise as the Scarred Man ran his hand over his cock, the pleasure returning to him, although muted. “There we go. Now we can get you all set up. You’ll make a wonderful breeder.”

He smiled and kissed Coryn, effortlessly lifting him up into his arms. This kiss was sweeter than their previous one, warm and leisurely despite the aching void in Coryn’s body. But that didn’t stop his begging when the kiss broke, for with nothing to distract him, Coryn began to shudder.

“Please please please, I need to be filled! Please! I want your cock!” He cried out softly, wrapping his arms closer around the Scarred Man.

“Shhhh, Shhhh, You’ll have more than you ever could have wanted now. Just wait a minute.” Coryn was set down against a wall of fleshlike plants, their surface warm and malleable. Not how plants should feel.

He waited patiently as he began to sink into the plants around him, held still by them and the promise of more pleasure. It was only when he was on his back, arms and torso mostly embedded into the plants that the Scarred Man spoke through the passage to his head:

“There you go. Just a bit more. Before you can have what you want, I want you to See.” He grinned, and the plants closed, cutting off his air.

He would have panicked if the Scarred Man’s words hadn’t reassured him so much. Soon, the calm payed off when he felt some form of gas being vented into the small chamber around his head.

It filled his nose and his mouth and his lungs. It filled up everything, and he Saw.

A massive beast. A God. The forest was alive, and it could see. It could hear and taste and smell. It could think and choose. It had Control. All plants bent to its will, and it used this to do what it desired. What it’s purpose was.

To breed. To spread. He could feel the lust and pleasure and Love Love Love!

He beheld it in all its glory. It was a God and it was owed Worship. He owed it Worship.

And he could show his worship, his devotion, his love. He could show it by obeying, being a good breeder to help spread itself. Spread itself everywhere.

Everyone would feel its pleasure. Its Love. He would help make that happen.

He knew his purpose. It was everything he ever wanted. Everything he ever needed.

It would be everything he was.

He was in Love.

“There we go.” The Scarred Man’s voice cut through his Revelation. Coryn could see everything the Scarred Man was. He was the First. The Consort and Pact that had made this all possible. He was God’s right hand, its Shield and Sword. Its Tool and Advisor “Now you understand.”

“I do. Oh God, I never want to leave.”

“And you won’t ever have to.” And suddenly-

Pleasure.

A vine forced it’s way down his throat, slowly dragging in and out. A sweet nectar or sap fell from the tip, gently feeding him. Pleasure came with the sap, an indescribable, amazing pleasure that was so far beyond anything he had ever felt before this.

He moaned around the intrusion, sucking desperately for every drop of the heavenly liquid. He sucked even as it wound all the way down into his stomach, slowly filling him. Even as he felt a cold liquid rubbed all over his ass. It left a fiery, tingling sensation in his hole, as if it was begging to be filled.

And it was. He pushed back urgently, mind filled with nothing but pleasure, love, and an aching, burning need to be filled and used.

He was rewarded when a thin, fibrous plant pushed its way inside, past everything and into the deepest parts of him. Places where foreign objects were never meant to touch.

And then it Widened.

And Coryn whited out.

The pleasure was so great that he felt like he was losing his mind, like he was being broken apart only to be put back together again.

‘It made this all possible.’ Coryn thought, hands twitching uselessly inside their prison of plants. ‘For us. All of us… I’ll do anything.’

That’s what he was thinking when he felt the first bulge in the vine, a hard force pushing against his stretched rim. He moaned once again around the vine, the pleasure from both ends intermingling into an absolutely mind-breaking sensation.

And in only a few seconds, the seed had pushed past his rim, forcing itself deep inside him.

And Coryn was cumming. His vision whited out once more, stars bursting in his eyes as he franticly bucked his hips in the throes of his orgasm. There was nothing else but the tentacles that pushed in and out of him, the seeds that had begun to fill his ass, and the brain-melting ecstasy that was sending him down a spiral of bliss.

The seeds were still coming when he came to, head dizzy and mouth sore around the vine. His cock twitched, still hard even after the explosive orgasm.

When the next egg brushed up against his prostate, he jolted as another orgasm ripped through him.

‘I shouldn’t have had one so soon!’ He though, panic existing for only split-seconds as each consecutive orgasm ripped through him.

After a while he gave up on panic, slipping back and letting the pleasure of being filled full wash over him. It was only after a substantial amount of time without a seed passing into him that he felt any discomfort.

Groaning and wiggling his legs, Coryn clenched around the ovipositor vine that was beginning to pull out of him.

He didn’t want to be empty. Never again.

He almost cried at the loss, only filled by the seeds which jostled around in his stomach as he struggled. He was full, but not full enough.

He waited for several moments, body uncomfortable without any stimulation, without anything to plug up his ass. He had almost begun to despair when another tendril forced its way inside. It was ribbed, thicker than anything he had ever taken. It began to cum almost immediately; hot, thick, slimy cum pouring inside his ass.

“You’re being fertilized. You’ll incubate these seeds and lay them like eggs. Another perfect breeder, helping us grow. Helping us spread~.” The Scarred Man’s voice cut through the fog in his mind, and Coryn moaned. He was so full, almost bursting with sap, cum, and seeds.

“Perfect… Perfect Breeder…” Coryn gasped out, the words bouncing around in his head. A body to breed. A good little incubator.

“Now come on out. You’ll need to be ready to lay them~.” He meekly followed the instructions, sitting up as the plants unfurled around him. He could barely close his hole, a gush of fluids escaping as the seeds clanked around inside his stomach. But it wasn’t his stomach now. It was an incubator, a place to nurture seeds.

The Scarred Man picked him up, tenderly taking him towards the hot spring and the slutty, fucked-out men that sat around it. Before he knew it, he was sat down along the water’s edge and the men were fawning over him.

Their eyes were happy, full of love and bliss as they surrounded him. Soon, they were all over him, kissing his body. Some bent down to suck his oversensitive cock, relishing the mewling noises he made. Another shoved his face between his legs, moaning as he slurped up the sap and cum that leaked steadily out of his loose, puffy hole.

There was too much stimulation, too much pleasure. Coryn came once more as all the other people who had been taken and Shown lavished him with delight and ardor. He spasmed and whimpered, the man between his legs leaning up to French kiss him. The heavy taste of cum and sap made him cum once more, despite the lack of stimulation.

And finally, the pleasure made him mercifully black out.

#my writing #nsf/w #grapefruit #Coryn #The Scarred Man #GodsFall-Verse #a gift

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lexiauteur · 6 years

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Prophet

Jumin/Reader Chapter 1

Request: @bat-yo-us

Wordcount: 2,846

A/N: Whew, this escalated quickly... I might have gone a lil overboard for a request this time but honestly, I’m so happy how it turned out. There will be a second chapter soon; I usually don’t do that with requests but I fell in love with the story and I didn’t wanna keep you guys waiting any longer.

As of lately, I only have time for writing on the weekends. I’m a paramedic now and I have lots of work to do so I’m super duper sorry to keep everyone out there waiting. In addition to that, keep in mind that I’m writing in english which is not my native language so I have to look things up etc. etc.

Please let me know what genre you wanna see on my blog more often. Constructive critisism is very much appreciated as always, and I hope you enjoy it! <3

Prologue

Vision – “an experience in which you see things that do not exist physically, when your mind is affected powerfully by something such as deep religious thoughts or drugs or mental illness”

Brains. The human brain is the central organ of the human nervous system, and with the spinal cord makes up the central nervous system. It controls most of the activities of the body, processing, integrating, and coordinating the information it receives from the sense organs, and making decisions as to the instructions sent to the rest of the body. The relationship between the brain and the mind is a significant challenge both philosophically and scientifically. This is because of the difficulty in explaining how mental activities, such as thoughts and emotions, can be implemented by physical structures such as neurons and synapses, or by any other type of physical mechanism.

It is unknown where in the brain dreams originate, if there is a single origin for dreams or if multiple portions of the brain are involved, or what the purpose of dreaming is for the body or mind. Opinions about the meaning of dreams have varied and shifted through time and culture. Many endorse the Freudian theory of dreams – that dreams reveal insight into hidden desires and emotions. Other prominent theories include those suggesting that dreams assist in memory formation, problem solving, or simply are a product of random brain activation.

But, even though scientists have yet to discover the real purpose of dreaming, the human mind will always be a mystery and some mysteries will forever remain unexplained.

Part 1

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, face turned to the sun. A warm breeze was wafting through the window, giving away that summer was right around the corner. Out of all the seasons, summer had always been my favorite. I’d always enjoyed the sun, the sting of it on my skin after a long day on the beach, the way its brightness lent a new look to whatever it touched. There was no shortage of sun in South Korea, but I came originally from London, and the cold rainy weathers there had left a permanent chill in my bones.

When I had moved to Seoul a couple of years ago, I’d found the slight humidity on hot summer days far more to my liking than the rainy streets of my home city. Of course, as a paramedic in a busy city, married to the CEO of a big company, I didn’t spend as much time outside in the sun as I might have liked. I even enjoyed the sweltering heat of July, when a breeze would feel like a hot flannel, and the evenings were spent on the large open balcony of the company’s penthouse Jumin and I shared. But things had changed since then. Jumin’s company had flourished, the annual income had sky-rocketed, and the penthouse had long since given way to bigger and better things. A year before, Jumin and I had moved into a ten million dollar mansion just outside Seoul, with a wide, rich green lawn and marble floors.

Now I was lying on the king-sized bed with silk sheets, taking in the warm sunrays that tickled my face. It felt good to sleep in for once, I hadn’t had a day off for more than two months, but I was so captured in my routine that I hadn’t noticed my exhaust until now. The daily night shifts were not only wearing me out, they had also destroyed my social life, and most importantly: my marriage. Not that I was complaining, I decided against the usual 9 to 5 job for a reason; because I wanted to do something meaningful with my life, something that I could be proud of when I was old and grey. But lately, Jumin and I had grown apart more and more. During the day, he was working at the company, seven days a week, while I was spending my nights in an ambulance. There was no time for us to live like a typical married couple. I would usually go to bed when he had already left for work, the sun just about to rise above the treetops of our garden. Sometimes I wondered what our marriage would be like if I had a normal job. We had become two strangers living a separate life in the same house. I don’t regret marrying him; he was the love of my life by all means, but this wasn’t the life I had pictured with him.

I was so used to his side of the bed being empty that today felt awfully strange waking up next to him. When I turned my head, his face was just inches apart from mine, his expression peaceful, and the black hair a perfect contrast to his white skin. And although I had always admired his handsome features, it pained me to look at him, knowing he would never look the same way at me.

When I couldn’t bear to look at him any longer, I got up, careful not to wake him, and made my way over to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, dressed, and walked into the big open kitchen downstairs. Although I wasn’t working in an office, I still heavily relied on caffeine to get me through my night shifts. During the months of working non-stop I had pushed my body to the limits, and coffee had helped me to push it just a little further. So just like every day, I brew myself a cup of steaming hot black coffee and went outside to enjoy it on the patio.

An hour later Jumin and I had breakfast together, but the heavy silence between us was slowly but surely depressing the mood.

“How’s work?” I asked. Not because I was interested, but rather to break the silence. There was nothing to talk about other than our work, and even then it felt constrained to keep up a conversation.

He didn’t look up from his plate, pushing the eggs around with his fork.

“Good. I intend to increase the funding of wine for cats for the next three months to help with the production.”

I nodded, studying his expression. The bags under his eyes had become darker since I last saw him and the 5 o’clock shadow made him look old.

“You look awful…” I whispered, accidentally thinking out loud. For the first time this morning he lifted his head and looked me straight in the eye. The sudden sadness that crossed his face felt like a sting to my heart, but then it turned into a look of guilt and he quickly averted his gaze. He started poking around in his food again, then stopped and put down his cutlery.

“Are you happy?”

His question came out of the blue but it drained the blood out of my face. I swallowed hard, his words ringing in my ears.

“What do you mean?” He knew I was playing dumb, but I wanted to avoid this kind of conversation.

He studied my face for a second. Then he repeated his question.

“Right now, are you happy?”

My cheeks started burning. I hated myself for taking so long to answer. A year before I would have confidently told him I was glad to be his wife, that I was happy being married to him, but over time the truth had started to settle in.

“No” I whispered, not daring to look at him.

This was not the life I wished for when I came to Korea. Although I loved him with all my heart, it was time for us to acknowledge the fact that we, as a couple, had to move on.

“Are you still in love with me?” The words came out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying. The silence that settled over us took the air right out of my lungs. A single tear was streaming down my cheek.

“I love you, Maya.”

“I know you love me Jumin. But you’re not in love with me,” I sobbed, tears dripping down my chin, “you never were. You just married me because of your father.”

I choked on my own words. I knew this wasn’t fair, throwing these accusations at him. He furrowed his brows, eyes growing cold.

“That is not true and you know it.”

“Then give me a reason to believe you!” I jumped up from my seat. “You just grew attached to me because I listened to you. I was there when you were all alone. I’ve given you the affection your mother never gave you and I asked nothing in return. Because I loved you, Jumin. But all you ever cared about was your father’s company. And you married me because you wanted to make him proud.”

There was a moment of silence. It pained me to speak the truth but as soon as I did, I felt the weights lift off my shoulders.

“I’m tired of it, Jumin. I feel like you don’t appreciate the things I do for you.”

“What am I supposed to do? You’re being irrational and unfair right now, Maya. I think you’re overreacting.”

“Overreacting?” I clenched my jaw, “Then please correct me if I’m wrong, but would you have married me if your father hadn’t approved?”

“Why do you care so much about the reason I married you? And what difference does that make?” he asked, raising his voice and jumping up from his seat as well. The fact that he didn’t deny it left me stunned, although I had known it all along.

I studied his angry expression for a second, searching for any kind of affection left in his eyes. But all I could find was disappointment and guilt.

“All the difference in the world.” It was a mere whisper but I made sure he heard it. For a split second I thought he was going to slap me. But he just took his coat, grabbed his keys from the counter and started tying his shoes.

“So that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?” I desperately tried to stop him, but he was already out the door.

Part 2

I ran through my mental list of things I needed to check, knowing I’d done everything already. Windows locked, stove turned off, passport at hand. I felt edgy and ill at ease. I was no stranger to travelling, but this was different. This trip there wouldn’t be anyone travelling beside me, not to mention I was visiting my family alone.

Driver Kim was late, but I had plenty of time to catch my flight. Still I found myself restlessly checking my phone, waiting for possible phone calls. Not that I was expecting any. The people who might have contacted me knew I was leaving the country, and the person I most wanted to talk to wouldn’t be calling.

All at once I felt claustrophobic. I carried my bags outside, careful not to trip on the way down our front porch. The car pulled up as I closed the front door. It shut behind me with a solid thunk that had a sound of finality about it. I turned away without a backward glance and walked to where Driver Kim was opening the trunk.

I’d be glad to leave, I thought. This was the first time since I’d moved that I had felt the need to get away from Seoul. I needed to escape for a while, to put some distance between myself and my marriage. Besides which, I’d not visited my family in years. I hoped this trip would be a way of bringing clarity to my mind. And of finding out if I was still in love with Jumin.

As I sat in the departure lounge at the airport, watching the slow and silent dance of aircraft through the plate glass window, I wondered what it would be like going back to England. After having lived in Korea for so long, I had not only adjusted to the country, but also became a part of it. My Korean had improved quite quickly over the past two years, and I’d consider myself fairly fluent nowadays, but I still had a hard time understanding the airport announcements.

“Attention Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to London England. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance to begin boarding at this time, as well as passengers flying first class. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you.“

Since I’d booked a first class ticket, I took my bag and left to enter the plane.

I accompanied Jumin from time to time during his business trips, so I was used to travelling first class. The staff greeted me with a welcoming smile when I entered the plane and a stewardess helped me stow my bag. I sat down and took a deep breath. For the first time I felt as if I had made the wrong the decision. The thought of losing Jumin forever made my stomach twist, but we had to take a break from each other in order to rebuild our relationship and I knew that.

The plane was now ready for take-off and I braced myself for the harsh acceleration of the vehicle. I tightly shut my eyes and clutched the armrest next to me, accidentally grazing the hand of the man sitting next to me.

“Afraid of flying, huh?” he frowned at me. “Actually, flying is much safer than driving; you can look it up on the internet.”

I didn’t really pay attention to him. I wasn’t afraid of flying, it’s just the loss of control that always made me slightly uncomfortable.

After about ten minutes, we had reached the altitude of 33,000 feet, the rattling of the plane had calmed down and so had my nerves. I put my headphones in, limiting the outside noises of talking people and clicking laptops, and soon enough drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of the captain speaking. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently experiencing some turbulence. Please fasten your seat belts right away, we apologize for the inconvenience. Thank you. “

Turbulences happen all the time so I wasn’t particularly anxious, but for some reason I started feeling uneasy. I looked outside the window. It was already dark; I must have slept for at least two hours. The plane started to shake more violently and I was feeling more and more nauseous to the point where I felt like I had to throw up.

“Excuse me please,” I said to the man beside me who was nervously fidgeting with his tie. Safer than driving, huh? I thought as I stood up and squeezed through the row of seats into the aisle.

“Ma’am you have to sit down during turbulence”, one of the flight attendants urged me but I ignored her and quickly disappeared into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and was barely able to open the toilet seat, before I started throwing up. I didn’t know why my body was reacting the way it did, I’ve never had issues during a flight.

I flushed and slowly pulled myself up on the sink next to me. My knees were so weak I was barely able to hold myself upright. I looked in the mirror, my face was as pale as ash and my whole body was shaking. The lights started flickering above my head. I took one last look in the mirror, before I quickly rinsed my mouth with water and prepared myself to leave the bathroom, when I felt the plane jolt and then drop. Then I heard screaming.

It took the air right out of my lungs. This isn’t happening. My body started moving on its own when I opened the door. There was smoke everywhere, people frantically grabbing oxygen masks that were hanging from the tops. The flight attendants desperately tried calming down the panicking crowds of passengers to no avail. Then I saw the fire outside one of the windows. I stood there for a second, trying to process what was happening. But my mind was absolutely blank. I felt like a child again, I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

I locked myself into the bathroom again and slid down the door, face buried into my hands. The buzzing sound of my blood rushing through my ears drowned out the crying children from outside the door. All I could hear was my steady breathing. Soon enough I smelled the thick black smoke seeping into the room, tasted the bitterness on my lips, and I wondered if it was going to hurt.

The plane dropped again, I felt my stomach twist and turn inside of me. This is it, I thought. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact.

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cwdcshows · 4 years

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Arrow - S8 E10 - Fadeout

Normally I try to do these in order, but haven't caught the first couple of seconds of last week's Legends, I haven't been able to bring myself to watch that episode and honestly haven't decided yet if I even want to; and figured if I was going to bother with an episode tonight yet, it might as well be the Arrow finale.... So here we go. Yeah, okay, if I became some sort of demi-god type being, I might be tempted to somehow tinker with a few things; especially rectifying the loss of certain loved ones, if it can be avoided in the short term. Undoing Moira's death seems like a big deal though, because that kind of radically alters the last 6 years where she wasn't present. I mean, just off the top of my head, would Thea have still gone off with Malcolm to train that summer? Did they still have the same confrontation with Slade and his small army invading the city after this new scenario where Oliver managed to free himself and get the upper hand on Slade? It also raises some questions of some of the other changes and to what degree Oliver was involved (and how) and what are either aberrant differences that just randomly occurred and what were indirectly caused by some of these other changes, by way of the butterfly effect? I mean, this is evidently a world in which Dinah Drake never existed, are we supposed to infer that Oliver didn't particular care for her and snapped her out of existence? Did Dinah steal the last bagel in the bunker break room right before Crisis and Oliver's carrying a petty grudge? Or maybe he really liked and her decided to save her when the arbitrary path of the new timeline decided to delete her - which I imagine is what we're probably supposed to believe, but I'm going to assume it's the bagel thing.

Here's another thing, why did anyone tell Moira she died in some alternate timeline? I don't think I'd want to know that; especially since that whole encounter was probably pretty terrifying and for everything Moira did and gone through up to that point, it's still conceivable that just the experience of almost dying at Slade's hands might have been cause for her to develop PTSD. If finding out that she actually did die during that encounter and then six years later her son died and became the fucking Spirit of Vengeance and helped reboot the universe and somehow manipulated this timeline where you lived isn't a trigger, I don't know what would be. Oh, come on, make up your mind people; was Dinah there or was she erased from existence? I get that she said last week that it wasn't until after Oliver's funeral that she woke up in the future and discovered she'd been erased, but seriously, how long did they wait to put Oliver's funeral together that she had time to still be part of whatever Saint Oliver retrospective documentary they're doing? And are we now going to spend the entire episode pretending that we didn't see any of the events from the last episode? Because that makes the less episode less of a "backdoor pilot" and more of just a pilot that they randomly inserted into another series just for the sake of tying it in. Thank fucking God the entire fucking episode isn't going to be done in the documentary format. I hated whichever the last time they did that; whether it was last year or the year before. I think it was last year and it was dumb and boring and definitely not the format the last fucking episode of the series should be. Crime in Star City disappeared overnight. Literally. Fucking how? They tried to play this bullshit in the last episode and makes no sense; how does a city of....what? At least 10s of thousands if not probably hundreds of thousands or a million people.... how does a city the size of Star City suddenly have no crime, just because....Oliver willed it or something? Doesn't that sort of negate the free will of the people in Star City? And why just Star City, not the entire world and allow Barry, Kara and the others to kick back and relax? Why does this magic spell suddenly get lifted in 20 years? So the scene of them all toasting Oliver's memory answers one question I raised previously, which is, did Roy still lose his arm; and the answer is, yes; and Cisco or whomever built him the most Robo-Cop type arm they could come up with. And I'm guessing that might be the answer to how Caitlin or Cisco support themselves in spite of Star Labs otherwise being defunct by all account; because if either of them developed that prosthetic, and I'd bet dollars to donuts one of them, probably Cisco did, they must be a fucking billionaire as a result of all the limbs of everyday people I'm sure they've helped replace with this technology. Though my follow-up question is, if in this new reality Crisis never technically happened, how and when did Roy actually lose his arm? Second follow-up, noticing that it is in fact his right arm and assuming that since he's drinking right handed..... does the arm vibrate and what level of precision can he control his grip strength? I'm fairly confident these were questions at the forefront of Roy's mind when he got his new arm. (Sigh)....So he saved Quentin too it seems..........cool........ So what was the fucking point of that fantasy episode the Monitor put Oliver and Laurel through right before Crisis, where Oliver tried over and over to save Quentin and had to come to grips with not saving the day or some bullshit? Well congratulations on the promotion to Chief of Police, Dinah; I'm sure you're going to be in that job for many years to come and not going to be whisked away to 20 years in the future, while be simultaneously erased from history. Also, all through the last episode I was trying to figure out what Dinah looked different; and I still can't quite my finger on it, especially since in this episode she looks how she normally looks. I also can't describe the way in which she looked different last week; like she looked....hotter.....and also slightly younger. Am I nuts? Does any of that make sense? Augh, what the fuck. Why would Mia be given the memories of Oliver watching his father killing himself? That is what they're suggesting happened, right? So we have Dinah and Laurel in the present day prior to their quantum leap to 2040 that took place in the last episode, which I guess technically makes all of those scenes the past even from our perspective. And now we're jumping forward again to 2040 to presumably some point after last week's episode, to a time when Mia has her Pre-Crisis memories; just in time for a visit from Sara. Have I got that all straight? Is Mia coming to the present day after all? Are they going to make that any more of a cluster fuck? It seems unlikely, since they bothered transporting some later version of Laurel and Dinah there and setup the whole thing with JJ getting his Pre-Crisis memories. Maybe Sara's there to do her fucking job protecting the timeline and has some issues with them stopping Bianca's murder last week? Nah, probably not. I'll tell you what, I may be able to make my piece with all the Olicity bullshit if it means it's all been leading up to this moment where Sara is actually there for a booty call with Mia. Augh.... of course she's there to take Mia to her father's funeral. Fuck you writers. Seriously, they're still getting those stupid fucking tattoos? You know what we definitely don't need in the fucking series finale? New, unnecessary flashbacks shoehorned into season 1. Why the fuck is this part of the show? Is this the result of them realizing they killed off the main character two fucking episodes before the end of the series and needed to find a way to inject him back into the last episode for more than just a cameo? Wait, did Mia just say "a few weeks before Sara showed up"? As in, Williams was kidnapped weeks ago? Did anyone else forget that William was kidnapped last week? Did anyone else just realized that they basically set something like that up and it won't be resolved for like, 9 months; assuming their spin-off does indeed get picked up? Also, did she actually tell Laurel that William was kidnapped or did she keep it ambiguous what happened "right in front of her" and it's just us that were reminded the details via flashback? Because if she actually told her what happened to William, Dinah she presumably remember this when she wakes up 20 years in the future in a couple of days and then run into Laurel whenever later.... God these writers suck at writing time travel stories. Why are they so fucking bad at telling time travel stories? Why do they keep writing something they're so fucking bad at? Wait......wait......wait.... Sigh..... Was the scene in the Bunker between Mia and Dinah....in the fucking past or the present? I'm pretty sure it was in the fucking present, right? And now a news report about William being kidnapped comes up on the computer; so.....William is being kidnapped in the present day too? Fucking William. And fuck you, writers. Holy shit, they brought Ragman back? Oh, for fuck sake, of course they're going to try and force this stupid flashback into relevancy by trying to give it repercussions in the present. It was bad enough when they pulled that shit with Adrian Chase. Fuck you. Oliver's getting pounded on by a small mob and he somehow manages to aim his bow to fire a grappling line to get him out of that? Seriously? And how much help was the smoke bomb in doing that? And what is he even grappling to, the sky?? I thought he was inside a building and then I see he's outside, soaring past a bunch of tower or silos or whatever; and there's literally nothing directly above him but the great beyond. Are they going to bother explaining how, in spite of whatever voo doo has miraculously wiped crime out of Star City and will do for the next 20 years, John Byrne is somehow the exception and manages to kidnap William of all people? Who the fuck took the footage of Mia rescuing William?? How did they even know where or when to shoot that? Oh man, I'm so glad that after 7 years they finally addressed that dangling plot thread of how Oliver decided to be less lethal during season 1. It's been a while since I watched season 1, but clearly the writing was sloppy and incomplete back then and they're finally making up for the low writing standards by filling in the blanks now before the series ends.... Of course they also brought back Tommy, because fuck the entire series and almost every important thing that's happened in the last 8 seasons. And how the fuck does it work that Laurel is other Laurel instead of Laurel-1? This Laurel wasn't at the dawn of time, she should have been overwritten by the new reality that was formed. I mean, from another perspective I was thinking about towards of the start of the episode, really, with the exception of anyone who was at the battle at the dawn of time, every other character ever shown on these shows, any other person who hypothetically lived on Earth 1, died. And while this New Earth sprung up in its place with virtually all of the same events, one might argue that it's a completely different universe, and all the people in it aren't technically the people who were alive before Crisis. They may look and behave like those people, they may even have the vast majority of their experiences, but even glossing over the crucial fact that there are differences, even if there were it could still be argued that these are entirely new and different beings from the ones who existed before. Copies, but wholly separate; especially factoring in the lack of Crisis or the ever growing list of divergent properties, like people who did not die in this new reality and the combination of people and histories of at least three or four other Earths. It's kind of a cluster fuck and the lack of proper answers behind other Laurel is really unsatisfying. Thea: Yes. Roy: Yes? Thea: Yes.

Why would Diggle now accept that they're not needed as a hero in Star City, on the premise that crime has become virtually non-existent, when they literally just stopped a kidnapping? So if Diggle is moving to Metropolis, is this there way of saying he's moving over to the Superman spin-off? Are JJ and Sara going to have play dates Clark and Lois' twins? Oh, it's a statue. Honest to God, when I saw it in the promos, I thought Oliver was going to appear as the Spectre, inexplicably wearing black make-up instead of the conventional white hue the Spectre is normally given. I thought it seemed like a questionable way to go.... What?? Oliver couldn't change the things that would have changed him? You mean things like Tommy dying or his mom dying or even fucking Quentin dying? You mean those things? But also, you know, not preventing Laurel-1 from dying....That was important. Oh for fuck sake, and fucking Emiko is alive too and out and about like it's no big fucking deal. Fuck this show, I'm glad this is the last episode. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? So now Laurel-1 was Tommy's fucking wife. Because of course she fucking was. Because that is the sort of logical fucking thing that happens when you fucking mess around with the timeline. Crisis along with this whole fucking episode completely undermines the rest of the fucking series by essentially saying that most if really any of it never actually happened. When Sara told Felicity about bringing Mia back from the future, she decided not to tell her anything else; like the fact that Mia had been involved with Crisis or met Oliver or that Oliver gave her her Green Arrow suit? It's not like its a "protect the timeline" thing, everyone else knows this information; which is either all in the past or never happened, depending on how you look at it. You know what would have been great, Barry shows up and he's got like a handle bar mustache or an eye patch or bleach blonde hair like he's got in the comics; and then no one says anything, because this is just Post-Crisis Barry now. Yeah, of course they're going to make Diggle a Green Lantern the last few seconds of the series..... I fucking called the Monitor taking Felicity to some pocket dimension to spend eternity with Oliver..... fuck this show. So does that mean Mia (and William, I guess) just never see Felicity again?

Fuck this show.

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