#I'm going to lay down now I think

[spade-club]

I love my job, sucks I have to look for a new one soon. Just learned 3 of my bosses have a pact to all look for other jobs and quit asap. So either I have to do manager training and try to save this business on my own (tempting...) oorrr, the smarter idea, just dip out when they do. I love my job so much though and I think in just a little while it'll get so much better if management just lets us do our thing again, which they were doing just fine before. Sometimes with this job I feel like I was born onto a rocket ship and the first word I heard was ten.

#im a little uh #under the influence I suppose #(mostly just sugar) #but like. man Im so upset about every thing im so worried about my job #I just want things to be how week 2and3 were forever. but instead they keep doing weird shit #I hung out with someone who was fired today and hes like. 26 I think. an adult. and he was like. yeah that place sucked. #but he also sawthe fun in it!! #idk #I forgot what I was saying #I'm going to lay down now I think

[inklore]

JORDAN GOING INTO PROTECTIVE MODE AND MOVING CLOSER TO MARIE WHEN CATE CAME INTO THE ROOM!!!! I’M GOING INSANE!!! EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!

#the squeal that left my body needs to be studied #jordan really said i'm a marie human shield now i live and breathe to protect the loml everyone can catch these hands #i'll be thinking about this all day and i gotta go lay down #jordan li #marie moreau #gen v #jordan x marie #jordanmarie #gen v spoilers #THEMM <333 #ʚ laurs art ɞ

[ronanlynchbf]

#rereading trc while simultaneously falling back into aftg stuff by virtue of reading tsc and thereby transporting myself back to when i #was sixteen but it's fine it's totally fine like it's whatever 😁👍 #r.txt #anyway. me when – me when i – me when i'm trying to tell my best friend that i'm gay but i'm also trying to tell him i can take stuff from #my dreams and i took my now pet raven from my dreams like from my head i'm a dreamer but also that's kind of the same thing but also it's #really not but also it is bc it's an allegory but also that's not the only thing the dreaming is an allegory for and also i'm scared to tel #him like i'm terrified actually and i don't want to tell him but also i need to tell him but also he already knows but i don't know that he #knows and also i was goinggggg to tellllllll himmmmmm arghhhhhhh #this scene is soooooooooo like. like AOUGH. ARGH OUGH AGH AOUGHHHHHH #<- sounds of a guy taking minus xp damage with every word read of this stupid scene. he literally was going to tell gansey 😕......... #trc #ronsey #like i need 2 lay down. he came out there to tell him......the timbre of his voice being described as strange&initially unrecognizable.... #i read this part like. 2 weeks ago idk. smth of the sort. and i'm STILL thinking abt it....you came out for something.....when you'd made u #ur mind to confess but ur mouth betrayed you in the end......associated with secrets and guilt......MAN.....

[mattodore]

salt in our memories

#river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 cas #simblr #editing recent-ish cas screenshots of them in outfits and poses that everyone has already seen before. groundbreaking. #i was just trying to make myself feel better by doing something mindless for a bit but it didn't work so . now i'm just sitting here #there are two more screenshots that i edited but tumblr keeps crunching on them and tbh i just want to go lay down #maybe i'll add them here later but probably not i love wasting my own time <3 new edits after three weeks tho so there's that #caption is just a quote from salt by chelsea wolf which is one of theo's playlist songs #bc i fr had nothing else in mind for it 🤷 #ik i said i'd get to my activity but i really don't feel up to it #i'm just gonna read i think and maybe write a little later #okay. bye 👋

[takaraphoenix]

No, actually, I’ll not just be generally vaguely upset about the framework that pisses me off, I will also be specifically pissed off about the way he’s trying to pat himself on the back and rewrite history.

So having a gay character be brave by coming out and that bravery be an inspiration to other queer characters so they can be brave and come out too is something that comes off poor on its own already - because of the shallow framework that our existence alone is already oh-so brave of us and that others wouldn’t have dared come out if not for Major Queer Character who did it first.

But there is something particularly twisted and nasty about Riordan using this for Nico di Angelo, actually.

Because Nico di Angelo didn’t come out.

Nico di Angelo didn’t get to be brave or inspirational.

Nico di Angelo was forced out of the closet.

Nico di Angelo was outed against his will, in front of others.

Eros forced Nico to come out in front of Jason.

And, quite frankly, the way it was handled further was just as poor. To make this repressed teen from the 1930s, who up until mere days ago was dealing with severe internalized homophobia and couldn’t even admit his own feelings to himself, confess his crush in public, in the middle of camp...

Both of these events really just showed that Riordan is a straight man who doesn’t know this, and didn’t do his research beforehand.

And people just love giving Riordan the benefit of the doubt. Love giving him a pass and clapping him on the shoulder for the inclusion and for trying. And you know what! Yeah, I do love that he includes the gays. I do not think he should get excused for handling representation like shit though.

And this? This is in his newest book? You should think authors grow. Best selling authors should do more research. Get consultants. Stuff like that.

Instead, we’re going back and rewriting history. That forced coming out? Now a moment of bravery and inspiration for others!! Look how great and amazing that is!

Nico di Angelo didn’t get to choose that he was ready to come out, it wasn’t a moment of bravery. Not the kind of bravery that it takes when you are ready to face your personal truth and willingly take the step to own it. It was a moment of fear and desperation. And it was the bravery to face that fear and desperation.

And it really makes me sick to now learn that we’re looking back at it and pretending otherwise, in-universe.

#Coming Out #Queer Stuff #Nico di Angelo #Riordan Critical #and all of that ain't even mentioning #the utter ridiculousness #that is pretending that there weren't #OTHER QUEER DEMIGODS BEFORE NICO AT CAMP #or the fact that DEMIGODS. children of the GREEK GODS #needed NICO'S BRAVERY to own their own sexuality #y'all's parents are the GREEK FUCKING GODS #Will's dad didn't fuck twinks since the dawn of time #for his son to now go around saying nonsense like this #PIPER needed Nico to be brave??? HER HALF BROTHERS ARE PATRONS OF GAYS #LITERALLY HER HALF BROTHERS ARE THE EROTES #is Riordan now pretending that the Greek gods are all allo CIShets??? #or is he pretending that all DEMIGODS think the Greek gods are allo CIShets?? #I am not having a good time and I'M NOT EVEN TOUCHING THE FUCKING BOOK #fuck this I need to go lay down #and also STOP LEARNING ABOUT SHIT HE WRITES #The Sun and the Star #The Sun and the Star Spoilers #PJOverse

[corvigae]

if anyone's curious how i'm going, due to a triple punch of insomnia, period, and chronic illness i've been awake for over 28 hours, have been too sick and/or in pain to leave bed since around 1 am, and feel like i'm living a waking nightmare ✌️

#and NONE of the cats are cuddling me which is honestly the biggest insult to injury #i'm feeling less Pain-stricken now - i think my biggest problem is the not sleeping rn #bc my eyes are fucking burning and i'm physically exhausted #and i know from experience that my 27 year old body feels like it's shutting down if i get less than 5 hours of sleep #but the problem is that despite all the Troubles and Exhaustion i'm still mentally Wide Awake #and i ALSO know from experience that just laying there waiting for sleep doesn't Do Anything for me #except actually make any sleep i do manage to get extremely fitful and actually make me feel Worse #personal grumblings #ironically today is SUPPOSED to be my day off work. but i agreed yesterday to come in today to help catch up on things #then i had to go 'actually nvm i'm Actually Fucking Dying rn'

[tenspontaneite]

So, season 4 Rayla.

See this?

I know other people have already said this, but: That is a really big hair bun and I can't get over it omg. I have butt length hair and it makes a bun that's like, half that size at absolute most. In conclusion:

Rayla has really long hair now.

(And I'm so here for it ngl)

(Shout out to @numptypylon for making an edit of hair down s4 Rayla that caused me to instantly transcend my mortal flesh)

#tdp s4 #s4 spoilers #tdp spoilers #tdp rayla #anyway so I'm now desperate for s4 hair-down-rayla #like. either in deeply fluffy or deeply angsty circumstances #let it be down because she took it down for bed and it's just spilling out over callum where she's laying on him #let it be down because it got in the way of someone's sword and now there's blood in it #I'm so eager for either option #even though realistically i dont think it's likely because that would involve making potentially unnecessary model variants for her #and that's maybe too much work to go to if there isnt a big plot relevant reason for it #but still #i want

[elitehoe]

Nononono Matt we took it in the context it was intended. Your dear brother Nick wants us to know he's a bottom. Just like he wanted us to know Brandon had him on the bang bus.

#he's so fucking insane its making me insane #at this point he's doing this shit on purpose #he knows what gets us sickos going #he's for the hoes because he is a hoe #we get it bitch you're getting rawdogged backstage #I am begging him to turn on the last braincell that he has and use it to think before he speaks because I've had enough #nick just wants everyone to know that matt isn't the only bottom in the elite polycule #oh my god i'm so lightheaded right now #i need to go lay down somewhere dark and cold #i need to sleep for 38 hrs or something #nick jackson #matt jackson #young bucks #being the elite #bte

[mercuryislove]

so i've been Not Drinking since december 12th (i will admit i've had a shower beer here and there) but tonight i had a hashtag Real Drink for the first time in four months and let me tell you. it's not even fun to drink anymore. am i maturing? maybe i just like to be sober and miserable instead of drunk and miserable

#not to be a fucking bozo loser friendless idiot but #i'm thinking about the persona 3 ending again. WHAT A GAME. #nooooooooo im getting sentimental while drunk. oh god i fucking hate drinking actually. #i was teetering on the edge of alcoholism for a long time and now i hate drinking lmaooooo #what does it all mean. i used to crutch on alcohol as a way to experience joy and now i'm finding that it............. isn't even fun. #anyway i cast memories of you dot mp3 upon ye #i'm fucking GOING TO BED. lest i lay down on my bedroom floor and cry. i hate this shit. i hate being alive lol #THIS IS WHY I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

this is a very venty post don't mind me :D

that nintendo direct was so horrible.

it was literally like 80 percent remakes and remasters.

never in my life have i seen an announcement video exist just to say "every game you've ever known since the 90s is being remade/remastered, sorry, we ran out of originality".

literally like all the video game market is anymore is remakes and the movie industry is just as bad.

the nso releases are fine because they're not like, remakes taking up full game slots. they're old games that are being made accessible and that's great... but there's no need to remake this many games when they can do that. remakes used to be rare. remember stuff like the wii u shop and stuff? with all the games they had on those things? now it's a tiny selection and everything else is a remake :/

also I feel like a lot of new rpgs are just like... lowkey fe knockoffs now instead of original rpgs.

i'm happy for like... two existing remakes, but one of them is mario rpg which people wanted waaaaAAAAAYYYY before the remake and remaster era, and the other is baten kaitos which im not actually happy about remaster-wise (the updated ui is trash, they took out very specific charms of the original ui), just happy that it will get more recognition/notice from people since it was never popular.

they also completely removed the english voice acting which like okay yeah it wasn't always that great but the voices fit perfectly and it wasn't as bad as fans meme on it for! it just sounded like they were talking through a tube and that was actually the worst part of it lol.

someone suggested to me that they may have just lost the data for it, but idk. i wish they'd just admit that somehow if it was the case, because it bugs me that the english audio is just completely gone when ultimately i really liked it. i wanted the game to be accessible to newer players, sure, but i also wanted the english audio there. ig that's because i grew up with it and i liked it, but it's still such a bummer for me!

paper mario being put on the nso and tyd getting a whole remaster does make me sad tho bc it feels like they're leaving the original in the dust when it was so good. if you're gonna do tyd, at least do them both.

good for innersloth though, i'm sure they never imagined being on a nintendo direct. they're the real winners here.

#DCB Comments #the FE fandom is just as bad too. every single solitary direct that comes up they're like #OMG FE4 REMAKE. like ??? I used to be just annoyed but #now I'm just feeling the “shut the actual fuck up” mood bc it's ALL they care about for FE anymore #nobody wants new FE games. they're just obsessed with the idea of remakes #it's more annoying bc it's all the majority of the FE fandom talks abt anymore #also does anyone even know if games on the NSO ever get a remake or if originals of remakes go onto NSO? #wondering bc I don't think I've seen a game on NSO get a remake or vice versa #like I was always wondering if Mario RPG would be on the NSO but it never was and now it has a remake coming #since FE4 6 and 7 are on the NSO I can't see why they would be if remakes were coming #also if they're in the process of making a new console do y'all still think they'll release Gamecube on the NSO? #idk if they'd release PoR on it since they'd prob remaster that one (I don't want a remake for it but remaster might be nice if they #update the map graphics and stuff) since it would net them way more money to release the game as a standalone but if they #did put it on NSO I'd really love that. I get up I play PoR. I lay down I PoR. I go in the car I play PoR (I don't drive lol) #but anyway yeah I'm just tired of every single Direct having FE fans being annoying as fuck #also ppl were apparently legit like omg the new banner coming means fe4 remake will be on the direct #oh my goooooddddd stfu at this point I just don't want it remade bc i am 💅 p e t t y 💅 bc ppl are so annoying abt this #when a leak for a new game came out (engage) from a very reputable source ppl knocked it and called it ''obviously fake'' #(the joke is now not just ON them but IS them) but then when they got a ''leak'' abt an fe4 remake they ate it up #like wow lol. wow. they won't believe anything unless you say fe4 remake then suddenly they believe anything you say abt that alone #it's rly sad that my favorite game has become a cesspool of annoying fe fans #the thing is fe doesn't come out with a whole lot of remakes. it never has #it's just that when gaiden got a remake ppl have NOT shut the fuck up ever since #and I've seen ppl saying every game under the sun should be remade #frankly if they remake anything right now it should be poor fucking shadow dragon (yes. the remake.) #anyway most of y'all know how annoyed i get abt this lol like yeah maybe someday fe4 could get remade but #it's the fact that the modern day fans are SO fucking annoying about it now. back ten or so years ago fe4 fans were just happy TO play it #we were just happy to have it at all even in emulated form and it being an snes game #we loved it as it was and didn't bitch about it bc it wasn't uwu modern enough (and i've played casual mode since new mystery) #now ppl are just like oh i like it but i don't want to play it unless it's remade

[cheekblush]

i might just fall in love with my physiotherapist..... 😳

#just had my first session & i've never had a man touch me like this ansnsjmsms #he's also my age which makes this whole ordeal even worse like i've only seen him with a mask but he looks very attractive.... #he's tall and has dark hair and he has a nice voice and his hands were so warm.... this is not good.... #actually thankful we both were wearing masks otherwise this whole thing would've been even more awkward #like i knew i would get a young male therapist that's why i was so scared of this appointment bc idk it's kinda uncomfortable as a young.. #woman to have a young man a STRANGER touch your body & of course it's his profession but still.. #he didn't make me feel uncomfortable thankfully but i was just so embarrassed & shy throughout the whole session zhananka #i hope he didn't notice i think i acted normal but in my mind i was going crazy ahhabsnsna #like when i was laying down & he was doing wonders on my back i had to hold back a laugh the whole time & i was just smiling.. #i'm glad he couldn't see bc my face nc it was inside this hole thingy idk how to call it shabwjwjnw #he made my back crack 3 times that was so sexy of him...... i need to calm down #actually my neck/shoulder hurt even more now after this session but he was so fine i forgive him shahnsnsn #☁️

[mattodore]

just woke up from a dream in which theo and matthias were in baldur's gate nobody move

#river dipping #i actually stayed up playing bg3 all night which is WHY i'm waking up so late like i . did not sleep for long #but anyway. i've never actually had dreams about mattodore before??? like Never. #like they were moving around and talking it was so crazy....... #i've always been so jealous when y'all talk abt having dreams abt your ocs and now that i've had one i just . cannot move #the way theo's voice sounded........................ dies dies dies dies #i think iirc they were being hunted down so they took shelter with this group of randos in this building that was practically falling apart #or something?????? god i can't really remember atp #all i can remember is theo's voice and how matthias looked... which was huge btw. like he Stood Out #lays down on some train tracks #i need to have this happen again #god................. it's actually a little funny how my brain can seemingly only focus on two things at a time LMFAOOOOOOO #let me scroll a bit and then . i am in fact going straight back to playing bg dkjffdjnh #i left off after i found the keygem needed to open the necromancy of thay... which both elias and astarion want #meanwhile wyll is like :| at me AGAIN................. #wyll pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee just be corrupted by elias already i need your approval to at least get in the double digits </3

[awkward-smirks]

.

#when i was little i used to pray for a best friend #i spent years and years thinking something was wrong with me and that i was just inherently unloveable and my only value was my work ethic #(aka my smarts which btw i only got bc i was so lonely i turned to studying as my only source of stimulation) #i used to lay at night and so desperately ask God to give me a best friend like in the books i read and shows i watched #and every single day of middle school / early high school - i felt just narrowed down to a second choice at best #it was sickening #it was 15 years of this before i met my best friends and i just look at them and think 'i prayed for you. i prayed to have someone like you. #and you showed up. and you stayed. and i am no longer a second option.' #it's insane that everything fell into place. #so yeah I'm just v grateful for molang and julie who found me and loved me and called me theirs #and that's all for now. going to sleep bc i have work and all and I'm already sleepy but yeah just wanted to write that down #sandy rambling

[armafidelium]

something i look forward to hopefully exploring in his phel's canon verse is him gaining trust in others and kinda just . . . learning to be a person outside of his duty. we'll see how long that kinda stuff takes but i enjoy exploration like that

#● ☾ ⭑ 𝗠ᵒᵒᶰˡᶤᵍʰᵗ ᵛᶤᵍᶤˡ ( ooc ) #// just rambles but yeah that's smth i'm excited to eventually flesh out and like give him friends & support #// since hs he has the group and it honestly makes me eternally happy that universe did that for him #// like him having a genuine friend outside of his sister would kinda just mean so much and be v big imo #// bc it means he's accepting he can have flaws and trust others and just i can't word rn #// i have a lot of emotions abt phel and using this to get out some of my present foul mood with thoughts #// i have plenty of just things i wish for him #// maybe one day he learns love but my biggest wish first is him to learn to be human to be him #// bc i picture he's very reliant on the noctum to avoid the way his heart aches over the lives he takes #// over how he wishes it wasn't him and his sister with this duty sometimes #// i have thoughts #// this got a lot of tags wow #// idk why i like writing thoughts in tags vs post text it's force of habit #// makes my words seem quieter bc i hate taking up space #// but yeah now i'm gonna go lay down and think abt phel being happy #● ☾ ⭑ 𝗠ᵒᵒᶰˡᶤᵍʰᵗ ᵛᶤᵍᶤˡ ( tbd )

[hopefulqueer]

new snake :3

#we wont b getting him until we move but i am so excited for him #he's an old boy getting rehomed #baby: beep #(placeholder until we decide if we're keeping his old name) #i need more animals i am going insane. also i think im buying a prettier new house for sprout today from tarantulacribs #so i can use her old house for either a brazillian black or a mexican fire-leg juvenile #lays down on the floor. more ameenals.. #i have cindy's old house too (i miss u bb girl u had a good lil jumpin spider life) #i could put another jumper in there OR an arboreal T sling #dear prospective job pls give me the higher paid position so i can support more pets thank u #on a related note if i DO get that position i'm probably going to have permission to start a small herp+invert ambassador animal collection #at the place #i'm literally so fucking excited about that prospect u have no idea #waaaauuuugh #i have a 40 gal waiting for mr beep which is apparently bigger than what he's in now #baby boy i will make u the nicest retirement home in the world #OH DID I MENTION HERE julia got me a t-crib medium coffin shaped #for a black widow :`) #her name is going to be Lady Jacqueline Tern and i'm in love with her already even tho she prob hasnt been born yet #all of this is dependent on getting these jobs and being able to move soon. pls manifest. #i might start a separate pet blog if it all works out

[osoreruna]

screaming, crying throwing up rn —

#𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗡𝗢. 𝟭 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗢 + [ visage ] #i figured i should go ahead and icon all might rising while i was at it #and then my hands just sorta #did this and now i am going to lay down and listen to my sad time playlist for 52 hours — #but for real tho #i am home from work #VERY early for a change. but i'm about to head back out for grocery shopping. #BUT i will be around once i'm back. got a few more asks to answer i think and a couple things drafted so i'll be working on all that. #feel free to send something in before i get back #it'll probably be answered before i head to bed tonight. #might reblog another meme or two — #anyway don't get me STARTED ON TOSHI'S RELATIONSHIP WITH NANA PLEASE I AM NOT READY