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dolokhoded · 4 months

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80s jesus 'verse disciple headcanons pt. 3 (jesus, judas, jb)

my sincere apologies i know i said i'd bost judas "in a little bit" about. 2 weeks ago. here they are. @ that one anon who asked me about judas, my brain works very slowly, there he is

JESUS

ok starting off jesus is gender wacky. idk what he is i use he/him for him but calling him a man feels off. he's my favorite gender identity which is wack.

being somewhat divine does that to you you don't really care for the labels society has completely made up. ANYWAYS

i don't even know what i'm gonna write for jesus i'm sure you know what kinda guy jesus was.

okay. grew up in nazareth with his parents miriam and yosef and his siblings

(don't ask me why im using the hebrew form of names for the parents but not jesus himself. it's because we have a hundred marys.)

he has three siblings, two sisters and one brother, and he's older than all of them with a pretty big age gap, he was kind of an accidental pregnancy

(or, y'know, the son of god. but who knows ! )

had a relatively normal life compared to everyone else. i guess reparations for how well his life went last time idk.

jesus is also the only one out of them all who has somewhat of a sense that they've all existed together somewhere before ? he doesn't clearly remember any of it, but he did recognize his disciples when he met them.

he also has a lot of nightmares. they're vague, but very painful.

anyways aside from that pretty decent upbringing. he always knew that he wanted to help people as much as he can.

he learned carpentry from his dad and although he did study political science he ended up just running his father's shop.

however of course he also runs his organization ! which i really struggle to pick a main cause for because like it's jesus ? i feel like he'd care about anything that helps people he's just trying to make the world a little better.

idk. i'll think about it.

before he was doing that he was doing a lot of activist and volunteer work alongside his cousin john ! you guys know cousin john !

and therefore already had a lot of peers and a lot of friends who then followed him and supported him. the first being andrew, who was very close with john and was there when there was just talk between the three of them and maybe some more friends about jesus starting his own cause

aside from carpentry, which he obviously likes and is very good at, jesus is actually a little bit of a creative in general.

he just started with woodcarving with his leftover supply for fun and then slowly moved on to clay and occasionally even sculpting.

likes to give stuff shape anyways

cares so much for his whole team and always reminds them to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves however he has not practiced self care a single DAY in his entire LIFE

will overwork himself to exhaustion if someone doesn't physically drag him away. has before.

for an all loving creature he has the emotional intelligence of a doorknob

dgmw he's great. he's kind to everyone and all that. he's understanding.

still has not known what the fuck is going on a day in his entire life. each time any of his friends looks the slightest bit off he comes to the wildest possible conclusion.

most of the time said conclusion being that it's his fault

he might be a tiny bit self-centered. usually not in a positive way towards himself either, it just means he thinks he's the cause of everything bad happening in his life.

feels like the world revolves around him, just in a very pessimistic way

but he's got a lot on his plate can you blame him.

love how i went "yeah he's relatively doing pretty well" and then gave him a bunch of issues lol sorry jesus

JUDAS

welcome, queers, i know you're here for him, here he is

judas is an only child and comes from a very rich family.

his parents own an insurance company and have like a bunch of buildings they're renting.

generational wealth, basically. it's all inherited and they're making a shit ton of money out of nothing it's all already set up.

judas' family is also very religious.

and i know that so far two out of the two times i've said that it means the parents are assholes but i swear it's not like that james and john's parents are also religious it just wasn't relevant.

but yeah judas' parents are, in fact, assholes. judas was very involved at the temple from very early childhood.

which unfortunately led to him being abused by religious officials that he could supposedly trust and grew up with.

especially once he started growing into his teens and came to the realization that he very much Does Not like women.

which his parents didn't love either.

somewhere around that time he started to distance himself from his family, especially once he moved away for university. judas studied political science but halfway through kind of changed career plans and double majored in journalism

which was very demanding but he did it anyways !

in university he meets jesus. jesus is in his third year when he's in his first and helps him out a lot. they're both very politically active too and always meet at protests and charity events etcetcetc so, yeah, they know each other. and sure there's something there but judas is very closed off and they drift apart when jesus graduates.

oh, judas also has depression, he was diagnosed at age ten, his family was very ashamed of that as well.

in his last year of university, he falls out with his parents once and for all.

they already weren't close, judas was very hurt by them and obviously he had a lot of personal issues with them but to him the line came when he found out about a lot of things that were going on behind closed doors in his parents' company, they were scamming a lot of innocent people and also partnering with a lot of . really just scum of the earth kind of people.

judas got rightfully very upset and had absolutely zero reason to keep covering up any of this. so he didn't ! and obviously that was very disastrous for the company.

judas gets disowned. not legally, but his parents cut all ties with him. not that he wasn't going to do that himself anyways.

obviously though as a consequence he suddenly has very very limited money. luckily for him he's currently in a relationship with his guy, isaac, who's very happy to let him move into his apartment. it would benefit him too to share the rent anyways. as it turns out, isaac's not a great guy ! judas himself isn't too well either so they have a very weird very unhealthy very codependent relationship and though they fight a lot it takes judas two years until he finally finds the strength to walk out on him.

judas didn't think that through very well because he doesn't really have anywhere to go. to his luck, guess who he runs into !

it's jesus. of course it's jesus this is the dolokhoded bible where the main character is still jesus, no matter how much i love to talk about james and simon.

jesus is on his way to a meeting with his team and he's like hey why don't you come along. and judas does. and that's it, he meets the whole gang, he ends up rooming with andrew and philip for a while before he gets his own place.

and, y'know. he does, eventually, in an excruciatingly slow process that tests the patience of all of their friends, get together with jesus.

okay i prob have to write this too uhh sad stuff ahead judas attempts once.

he's spiraling and overworking himself and hiding it pretty well. has some petty fight with john that jesus scolds him about and then has another fight with jesus over that and overall it's not going swell.

strangely enough it's john who decides to check on him after that. he has not gotten along with judas a day in his life but he could tell how upset he was and jesus is hurt and also a little petty and isn't gonna go do it himself so he decides he might as well. to his horror he stumbles into. well. yeah

he survives.

he moves in with jesus, john and matthew for a while after that.

(a lot of them are rooming they don't have much money)

goes back to therapy too.

okay sad stuff over. it gets better. he's doing well. gets a job at an independent news page and becomes quite known among his circles for his work too.

JOHN THE BAPTIST

or JB.

he does not baptize anyone. his first name is john baptist. don't ask me the logic of being named after himself when he hasn't existed yet for people to be named after him ok making an au of a defining characteristic of current human society is fucking difficult

jesus' cousin. his mother, elisheba, is miriam's sister. she's a good fifteen years older than her, and was in her fourties the year that both jesus and jb were born so her getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise.

grew up with jesus and they're very close. they studied together and they theorized together and they discussed everything together.

very big on environmental activism. and by consequence very very anti-capitalism. very anti-fast fashion, for multiple reasons. also vegan :).

jb genuinely believes the human race is the universe's biggest abomination and we should just go extinct. he's not wrong.

he doesn't pick favorites (but he does and they're andrew and philip they're his favorites)

philip was sort of his right hand

he's kind of there to encourage all the shit jesus can't if he doesn't want absolute chaos and zero planning. give simon a pat on the back for getting into fights with racists and all that.

generally he's a little more radical that jesus is. they don't agree on everything but they both respect each other's stances.

he's so well read. it's obvious too, they're all educated obviously, but this guy talks and you can tell he knows his shit. it's very impressive.

and not even in the sense of being well informed and reading theory he knows literature he knows art he's so cultured and i don't like using the word cultured because it often brings to mind a very western very white very high class perception of "culture" but that's not what i'm talking about here.

jb calls himself an atheist in a more political sense. he believes that people shouldn't rely on some higher force to give humanity and morality substance and should instead search for meaning inside those things alone, otherwise they won't have the right motivations to be moral and therefore their beliefs will have no strong foundation.

he grew up jewish but his relationship with his faith is very personal to him and stays between him and god. he doesn't care to discuss it with anyone, except maybe jesus a few times.

sort of everyone's go-to person for advice. he's there to talk the stupid out of them.

his mother was a seamstress, and he learned from her. he likes to make a lot of his own clothes.

professionally, however, he's a translator. he speaks hebrew, english, greek, russian and arabic. (also a little bit of french and german. he's not qualified to translate those though) (is constantly in the process of learning more)

he just fixated on different alphabets as a teenager a little too hard.

#bible fandom #dolokhoded bible #took me. EIGHTEEN DAYS approximately.#im doing either matthew and philip or matthew philip And either thomas or nathanael next.#whoever doesnt make it to the next post is banished with thad and little james. my dallas jenkins era.#(i am joking fuck dallas jenkins)

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lawrising-a · 3 years

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( continued from here! // @pseudoneiric )

there's a sore sensation nestling against the sensitive skin of his wrist -- not rubbed raw, exactly, considering his tie is too silky to achieve such a feat ( and he, desperately, tried to move as little as possible ) but it still stings. a chiding reminder of what he allowed to happen not even minutes ago. yellow wrapped around him, completely bound and helpless ... it was something he can't say he's done before, not like that. he thinks the correct term would be bondage, but was it? gloved hands sinking beneath layers of flesh to expose the fluttering organs beneath, and expose her own in turn. call him crazy, but that's not what he thought bondage was about. but when was anything with lilian it's textbook definition? he can't blame anyone for his display of vulnerability except himself, completely ensnared with the girl the moment they crossed paths. there were times he watered down his attraction, for both their sakes, blaming her allure for his enchantment. yet lies come clean eventually and here he now perches. the edge of his mused bed, chest rising and falling more then it should as he burns with the black markings drifted upon his ivory skin. lipstick marks painting him in a light he's not used to. he's been stripped of all his warm tones and fake boy scout personas ; left in cool colors. green pants and black marks.

‘and what are you ... the sun?’ whispered a voice earlier, like every hushed word was a secret reserved between the two of them. mat rolls his shoulders, because he doesn't feel that way anymore. never has, honestly. he wants to be beaming lights with a killer gravitational pull, but he ... isn't. the colors on him now is a striking reminder of that : yet he replays lilian's maddening words and fools himself briefly. it's okay to believe lies when she's the one feeding them! as long as she believes it, why can't he humor it? everything she said had been a warped view, a funhouse mirror at those shifty carnivals -- but it was raw honesty from lilian, and he can't turn away the swell of attention. even if he should, even if mat should waltz into the bathroom where she's currently shrouding herself away and spill out the truth. let her know he isn't some angelic force but rather a mockery of one. how matthew naively hopes he can be hers regardless of his lack of good ... it's dizzying, causing his vision to blur, because it's been a while since he's confronted this about himself. the student doesn't like it. but oh, he loves her -- a burning sensation that lights his veins aflame and races his heart.

distractingly, he presses the pad of his rough thumb against the mark on the corner of his lips. a replica of a kiss she once bestowed upon him like salvation itself ( hm, what's with the spur of religious imagery today? hah ). trying to prod away the disappointment that rises every time he feels the wishful want of her actual lips there instead. she has to -- she has to feel something for him at this point, right? that can't be an assumption anymore, can it? questions whirl around as his fingers ghost down his ruined skin, tracing over the words left with his own hands like confirmation. like he's silently saying 'yes, property of lilian eyler.' like he's finally allowing himself a love he thought he wouldn't ever have when he traces, ‘mine. mine. mine-’ that ends with him working his way back up, away from the bulge of his stomach and trembling arms -- away from 'poetry, life, religion' and back to his lips. where he's reminded, with a fuzzy feeling balling up in his chest, 'mine.' almost pushing hard enough to slip a finger through his pink lips, plush and ready for ... mat isn't sure. he just wants her to kiss him there. though he knows she won't, least not today. and even if there's this sickening greed that controls him with a talent, he lets her have that. lets her take all her time in the bathroom and tries not to beg for more. how did she elegantly put in, in all her poetic prose that he's seen briefly in the club? a loyal dog? just for you now, only ever for you, lili--

a shiver rocks his form, startling his hands to the edge of the bed to tear into as he digs his heels into the carpet ( like he once had in the bed, to ground himself, to not buck ). was his pulse racing with the life she declared to adore so much? the man sinks canines into his cheek to hold back from beckoning her out to check. no, no ; he said he'd leave her be. it's a good thing for them both right now. if she had stayed and let the fabric obscuring his view fall from his eyes, he would've reached for her. try to pull them close and he'd ramble like a mad man ... wouldn't he have scared her? some part of him thinks he still has. which wobbles his posture in order to keep his head bowed, like awaiting punishment. almost waiting for pain building in his scalp, because surely she'd card her delicate laced fingers through his hair with a bit more force if she came back out. or was that his gentle throb of arousal wanting that? she got him worked up so easily ; ah, well, at least it's a good exercise for his thinning self control ...

a sigh, shaky and human, whistles out of parted lips. dry due to the fact he can't lick them thanks to the lipstick, though he can't help but wonder if he did -- would he be licking lilian's lips that way? the material touched them ... realizing how wild he is, a thoroughly teased animal, matthew laughs nervously. jesus christ, there's parts of him strewn all around his bedroom, because there's no way mat is fully put together. his brain feels like soupy liquid dripping from his ears and hissing into his scarlet skin. a puzzle of a man that lilian expertly took apart and left half completed. no matter how hard he tries to reel himself in, chase away all the sweetened morbidness delivered, he can't find all the pieces. surely, the clever girl took some with her to the bathroom. she was ... possessive. mat learned that just now. possessive over him, envious of basic things that matthew almost couldn't believe. she'll never know how comforting it was to see. a feeling now nestled happily within because nobody's been possessive of him before! she mustn't of gotten the memo from former friends, didn't hear how expendable he was to everyone who's known him. people don't get jealous for matthew, they don't care how much he sleeps, they don't care if he isolates away -- and they certainly don't care if his eyes linger on a girl with purple hair.

because who would find him special? he's an emotional wreck everyone stays weary of, a boy to eye with skepticism. his jealousy, his rawness, his obsessive love and need is wrong and ugly. you're shunned for those things by society. to the world, mat is anything but special, he's wrong ; so wrong and he's relentlessly tried to change that. but lilian ... she thinks otherwise. feels like he feels. sensitive and lovesick. and while he's always tried to hide before, if the girl with inky hair thinks it's beautiful and radiant ... everyone else must be wrong, because lilian eyler never is! as clever as the devil and twice as pretty, so the saying goes. with a rueful smile, too boyish and gentle for his own sharp face, he thinks it's an accurate fit for his favorite person ever. his throbbing molten core of earth, the darkened reflective surface of his beloved moon.

“im excited about lunch tomorrow, you know?” calls mat, voice as rough as ever ; like he uses it too much. but during this whole date, he fears he hasn't used it enough. “i haven't eaten with another person in a while. i usually just grab an apple and loiter around the library.” did you think i ate with yuri? though the fawn haired male doesn't ask, he quickly kills that assumption if it festered in lilian's mind. “if it goes well, we could ... ah, why don't we eat together from then on? maybe everyday? maybe forever! i think it'd be ... nice.”

the last part is so quiet he's not sure she hears it, but maybe she hears it die off. senses his shyness that bares him like it's her own. matthew doesn't want to dwell in it, so he tries to push forward. telling himself to keep tearing down the walls until there's nothing left ( the bathroom walls or his own? ). she deserves to hear more then his sputters from their little session, brought on by gutting arousal and his own jittery sparks : she deserves the world on an obsidian platter. to know he does want to be owned by her, to understand he'd be so comfortable displaying that label for all to see. and for lilian to be told, sternly, that he'd choose her out of a line up with certainty most would be scared of. love isn't half way for him, ever, and lilian needs to know that. even if his heart thunders and he wants to hear more of her disarming voice instead.

“and i want to be yours ; your idea with the whole 'blindly leading me around' wasn't half bad!” heartfelt chuckling makes him feel like he's vibrating out of his skin, her skin now, isn't it? “i'd let you blind me, i'd let you led me even if i was deaf and mute. you could be all my senses, because maybe then i'd trust them more. you don't know how much i wish these words on me were permanent, lilian --” mat twists his mouth, ruins his hair more. “darling, you just ... i've tried so hard to be normal this year, more then any other, yet you make me so helpless! it's ... how do you do that? do you know how special you are, how beautiful? perfect ... well, perhaps not that ; because you're stupid for worrying about not owning me. isn't it obvious you already do? were these reminders for me, or wishes for you?"

( eyes flutter to words he can barely read on his bared parts, words overlapping due to frenzy. all true. all true )

with a tightening throat, emotions rising like waves and god he could just drown, matthew lays back on the mattress. meekly pulling the tie out from under him, only to drag it over his used wrists. picturing only her. wondering if this sight would entice her to keep going when she comes out. and he wants to say lilian, you've won! congratulations on having a lover for life! or, something like : yuri couldn't pry me from your cold dead fingers! but what stumbles out is something foolish that he immediately grimaces over. hopefully she's too shaken to judge him too much.

“i think you're my soulmate, lilian. i .. really do.” so why would i ever let you go? or deem you unworthy? it's me, im unworthy. not you, never never -- his lashes tickle his skin when he shuts his eyes. breath hitching before evening out. reminding himself to calm down because matthew thinks he'll actually explode otherwise. a bundle of nerves, of her love, is all he really is.

#» death risen ( thread. )#lilian♡matty » i understand what love never could . i forgive what love never would ( pseudoneiric )#v.ddlc ★ and the boy who loves you the wrong way keeps weakening #pseudoneiric #tw suggestive #( okay so. i think this pales in comparison to your amazing answered ask. like pales so hard )#( but i hope this was a delight to read regardless !! )#( thought it was time to reply to this. a lil warm up gift for lilian's bday <3 )#( have some matty being lovestruck and a bpdcore mess for an entire response! )#( and oh! hope its alright lilian was like. in the bathroom. she seemed shaken from being so open that i thought she'd need a breather )#( if thats dumb im sorry </3 )#( ANYWAY hope this was good ik i said i wouldnt write but i lied. its lilian day )

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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A post shared by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on May 26, 2020 at 10:01pm PDT

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One of my new passions

This latest with one cop on a niggas neck and one on his lungs and another on his legs while he was handcuffed.

Has me black out murderous rage against all 4 cops present.

I wish our society felt safe enough to attack racist bigots that abuse their power to murder for no cause.

Had those people standing around been able to attack those police and save that man... I don't blame them. I feel sorry for the sight they saw. But I know I would have.

I wish more people had the courage to be crazy like me and do what it takes to save a life.

As i said i don't blame them, many times I haven't been brave as i wanted to be.

I'm thankful they were courageous enough to video this way justice can be served. I read one person did talk back and advocate.

I wish we had the mob mentality to save his life.

Tree informs me the one standing to the side kept calling for backup to help the victim.

Tree does inform me the victim whom died was indeed an ass hole whom I would have killed myself but I would also have killed all three cops.

Thus it's a racist and crime of hypocrisy from those cops... What it was is they were all working together and they had the store call when he was in Just to kill him. As I suspected it was full blown murder. Nothing less.

Tree says they were all laundering drug money together. The 4 police.

The one holding the legs and the one standing alone didn't really want to kill their accomplice. The one standing realize he would be next and so he tried to stop the death of the victim. Tree informs me.

That is all the information tree says we need to know.

I feel if it's an off duty job they should done it without their uniforms. But they chose to represent the Minneapolis, Minnesota police as white men and kill a topless black man in handcuffs while completely defenseless against whom he thought was his friends.

Tree says "to prove they were tough"

I think it's more than that. I think they were trying to prove black lives do not matter and they wanted to prove that all people, no matter their color but most especially African American, are powerless and they have all the power. And theyre invincible. Its far beyond being tough, it's being Godly.

And tree and i spoke about how the man was shirtless and while i couldn't see much of his body due to the car, it looked like he did work out and was buff. And as Tree points out as i did see as well "it took four of them to take that strong black man down" "So it didn't prove they were tough but weak and surly not godly but pompous asses wearing the orange style masks." Says tree and i quote exactly

It makes me angry. I would screamed that at them. How weak they were. As a young person I would pulled them off and fought them.

I feel so much rage, I probably would now.. They would be lying there bleeding and I would look around and go "huh. Oh. Look what I did" then walk away quietly as they lied to themselves it didn't happen that some fst broken hearted lady with bad hips and back whom can barely walk knocked them all out in less than 30 seconds and didn't even really notice she did.

The purse i have today is small but it is an elegant and nicely built hard sided purse. If I was there i would hit them in the head at least 90 mph and knocked them the fuck out and caused internal bleeding like I did Denise then kicked them to cause it to burst all in less than 30 seconds. My body in auto mode and i would feel nothing. No pain. Only strength from God in heaven. And my parents, that are true angels would protect me from danger. So i could walk away free and clear without a broken purse.

It only takes one person. Not a mob mentality. But I wish we had that. I wish we all had that goodness from God that causes us to black out with rage against injustice.

I know tree tells me the victim was Zulululu and y'all know i hate them. But it isn't the point. The point wad the actions of the police.

Now take the same 4 people. The black guy and the 3 white guys in an alley all in sweat pants and wife beaters and tattoos. I wouldn't care. Because it would represent their relationships. They were all co-conspirators in money laundering and in cahoots to be in a friendship, all 5 of them regardless of color.

Putting on their uniforms changed all of that.

When I'm meeting with kidnappers. Money laundering. Murderers. Usually I am the only girl. The only Madame. The only Mob Boss Type that is female.

So apply gender to color... Im just one of the guys. Im not there to have sex or be raped. Usually they try but usually one of the others get jealous or i have a real protector to stop it from happening.

So apply color to gender. I'm just one of the guys. The victim of African American decent is no different than the ones of European. If one of the guys tries to kill me then they do and i can fight back. Same with color. If 3 white guys pounce a black guy he has the right to fight back

It is about context.

As a girl if i try to kill one of the guys they have a right to fight back

If an African American tried to kill an European American like myself the European has a right to fight back

But making it a cop vs criminal when the cops are criminals as well becomes a totally different scenario.

If I saw 5 Zulululu all standing in the alley and they are marked (these were not and wouldn't be as they are non violent [or were] and were just drug dealing and not human trafficking) and 1 was black and 2 was Asian and 2 were white, i would kill them all equally. The same exact 5 guys in any clothes including police uniform marked for kidnapping or rape. I would killed them all equally.

However in this situation that did actually occur. I would have saved the black man. Because of presentation.

Doesn't matter he's Zulululu. Or he laundered money. Its the presentation of 3 white cops killing one black man.

I see people. Bodies. I dont see alien race.

I see race of human skin and cultural differences and abuse of power.

So I would have saved the victim despite who he was.

Now May be I would found out after he was a human trafficker and if he was released at home, I would then go murder him in cold blood myself after saving him. IF that was the situation and i found out the TRUTH after wards. I would realized i made a mistake

If the media made a fuss, i would admit to it.

As part of the CIA and part of a Pentagon task force by default, I am allowed to do such things. Legally. As a military operation.

So, I'm not speaking as a private citizen. Or just a regular random person.

I'm not speaking as a police officer -- it is Illegal for police to do such a thing.

But as part of the military I am allowed

My mortgage company doesn't require me to pay my mortgage because i am listed as a MIA/POW. Location unknown.

Which means i have military status. As part of the military and as a counter head in the CIA.

MIA is missing in action due to amnesia and my physical handicap and disabilities like walking and standing.

POW is prisoner of war. As you all noted on the T.V. and here the aliens are trying to play "capture the queen" which is me. And currently Nathaniel and Denise have me as a POW.

Location unknown. Means they don't know my ability to focus or what I can do. What Alice in Wonderland Rabbit Hole I'll pop out next.

So i don't pay the mortgage. The mortgage says its okay. We will hold onto it. When the military and government can find you and save you, they will give you money you can pay.

Because as a MIA/POW. Location unknown. I do not receive a paycheck. So, the mortgage company understands that when i am found then there will be a large sum of payments waiting for me to be paid out. My monthly paycheck. They hold it for me in hopes i will be found and returned home. In the event of my death, the mortgage company is promised to be paid what is owed from my payments owed to me with permission of my next of kin.

This occurs with will MIA/POW. Location Unknown in the military and contractors that may have been kidnapped that work abroad.

So it is a nice perk.

To be tortured and held captive. In Hell to find out you have all your paychecks waiting and your home? Its pretty fucking amazing.

So that's pretty much all there is to say

Of course thank you for saving my house. I sure prayed a lot about it. And begged for mercy.

And I'm sorry for the people who witnessed the murder of a black man. And I'm thankful it was recorded and no one else was hurt.

At least you know the truth about him. And I hope that does squelch a little of that rage. Hopefully it gets illegal drugs off the streets. That shit is bad.,cocaine and heroin. I hate that shit.,but not as much as human trafficking

Of course I'd kill a bitch on herion pretty fucking fast

#Instagram

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